102 lines
3.3 KiB
Plaintext
102 lines
3.3 KiB
Plaintext
/===================================\
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| The Guide to Real Works Users |
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| By The Real Works Sysop, J. Scott |
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Real Works Users worship The International House of Pancakes.
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Real Works Users think Missy Gold is the antichrist.
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Real Works Users watch "Gimmie a Break" and get a kick out of the girls'
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sexual misadventures and don't have to rationalize their
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happening, considering they get their advice from a fat cow
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like Nell Carter.
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Real Works Users say "B00g" when someone calls them a jerk.
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Real Works Users think Jolt Cola is the best thing since gerbiling.
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Real Works Users own Ferrets.
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Real Works Users are related or associated with a band, preferably garage or
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basement.
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Real Works Users don't believe Dow commercials. (Better living through
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Chemistry!)
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Real Works Users want to put a bomb on "The Love Boat" so they can watch
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pieces of "Your Crew" get splattered into the ocean.
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Real Works Users don't have uppercase-only computers.
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Real Works Users don't have uppercase, period. They rip out the shift key.
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Real Works Users think Terror Ferret exists. (They're right.)
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Real Works Users noticed that the number 238-8195 plays "Yankee Doodle" on
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a touch-tone keypad.
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Real Works Users have noticed that Milk-Bone commercials refer as if the dog
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is listening ("It freshens your breath!")
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Real Works Users came up with a least ONE good space shuttle joke.
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Real Works Users have samplers and scream into them.
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Real Works Users collect textfiles.... LOTS of textfiles.
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Real Works Users have READMACS if they own an IBM.
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Real Works Users have played at least a FEW rounds of "Let's see what happens
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when we put it in the microwave!"
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Real Works Users know what Anarchy Inc., Neon Knights, and Metal Comm. Are..
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Real Works Users call the works about once a week, but stay on the full 100
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minutes to download textfiles like a maniac.
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Real Works Users freak out at family gatherings.
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Real Works Users aren't afraid to leech.
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Real Works Users have and worship their Works Business Cards.
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Real Works Users can get school cancelled by tying roadflares to a clock and
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leaving them on the principal's desk, with a note...
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Real Works Users try to count the amount of deaths on "Transformers" and
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"G.I. Joe", but figure out that all the deaths are abstract,
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and aren't interesting anyway.
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Real Works Users also laugh at the morality tags on the end of all weekday
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cartoons.
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Real Works Users like fire.
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Real Works Users have a hard drive, and 4 or more levels of subdirectories.
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Real Works Users don't shovel snow - they blow it up.
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Real Works Users think Nancy Reagan shoots smack.
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Real Works Users consider suicide an alternative to bobsledding.
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Real Works Users watch "Carrie" for laughs.
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Real Works Users are intrigued by rubik's magic - for about 3 minutes, and then
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they throw it out a 4 story window.
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Real Works Users don't like RBBS. (Understatement).
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Real Works Users like to watch the weather channel for 10 hours straight.
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Real Works Users watch MTV on Sunday nights (the only useful shows are on at
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that time.)
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Real Works Users watch suicide programs to see what type of idiots say they
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intend to kill themselves to a camera.
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