142 lines
6.4 KiB
Plaintext
142 lines
6.4 KiB
Plaintext
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_____________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ _____________
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| ___________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ ___________ |
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| | c o m m u n i c a t i o n s | |
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| |________________________________________________________________| |
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|____________________________________________________________________|
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...presents... Interview with Barbie
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by Clench
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>>> a cDc publication.......1994 <<<
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-cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
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____ _ ____ _ ____ _ ____ _ ____
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|____digital_media____digital_culture____digital_media____digital_culture____|
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We visited Barbie in her palatial shoebox underneath my bed. She was
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fetchingly garbed in the latest designer fashion, scaled down to fit her petite
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8" frame. In spite of her advanced age, there was no noticeable sag or
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deterioration, aside from a slight scaliness to her synthetic skin. Though
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reluctant to speak, at first, she later became quite talkative, as the
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following transcript reveals.
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Clench: I'd like to thank you for allowing us to conduct this interview. I'm
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sure that many of our readers will be fascinated with a "behind the scenes"
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look at the lifestyle of Barbie, the little plastic doll that lives in a
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shoebox underneath my bed.
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Barbie: ...
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Clench: So, Barbie, according to a recent _Newsweek_ article, you represent
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the Jungian Archetype of the "dream date." Would you care to comment?
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Barbie: ...
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Clench: Reluctant to speak, eh? Well, that's hardly surprising considering
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the feelings of inadequacy you are reputed to have instilled in an entire
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generation of women....
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Barbie: ...
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Clench: You seem surprised by my comment. Has it never occurred to you that
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your buxom figure is, shall we say, uncommon by conventional standards? That
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it is, nay must be, considered an exaggeration of the secondary sexual
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characteristics that women perceive men most desire?
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Barbie: ...
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Clench: I can tell by your blank look that I'm not making myself completely
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clear. Let me try again. Your breasts are, some would say, extravagantly
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large. Yet, in spite of their size, they have a distinctive conical firmness
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which is virtually unequalable by mere flesh and blood. Further, the size of
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your breasts is accentuated by your slim, svelte figure. When taken as a whole
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with your long supple legs, your figure, overall, can be viewed as nothing
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short of angelic. Would you care to comment?
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Barbie: ...
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Clench: I hope your silence doesn't indicate that I've offended you. I sense
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a connection between the two of us, as of two souls reaching out across the
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void, desperately struggling to find completion.
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Barbie: ...
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Clench: I've embarrassed you now, I can tell. Perhaps we should move on to
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more mundane subjects. What of Barbie, the early years. What were the true
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formative factors which have made you the individual you are today, loved by
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millions, young and old?
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Barbie: ...
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Clench: Reluctant to speak of your past, eh? Some deep, dark, tawdry secret
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you would strive to keep obscured? Something nasty, smutty, and entirely out
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of keeping with the image you have so carefully crafted for yourself?
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Barbie: ...
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Clench: So, unable to confront the sordid truth, eh? Miss Perfect Plastic
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isn't all sweetness and light after all, eh? Why don't you tell us about it
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Barbie? Why don't you tell us about the innocents you crushed beneath your
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stiletto heel during your shameless self-advancement? Tell us about your
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clawing, struggling, squalid self-promotion. Tell us how you engineered and
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manipulated your way to the top!
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Barbie: ...
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Clench: Don't want to talk, eh? Well, we have ways of finding out what we
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want to know. Tell us the truth, you scheming bitch!
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Barbie: *snap*
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Clench: Didn't like that, did you! Bwahahahahaha! There's more where that
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came from!
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Barbie: *snap*
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Clench: Not Miss Perfect American Teen anymore, now, are we! Gonna be pretty
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hard to put on your gold-lame' evening formal wear without any arms, isn't it!
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Bwahahahaha!!!
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Barbie: *pop*
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Clench: Don't look so attractive without that silky blond hair either, do you?
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Tell us what we want to know, tell us now, or else!
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Barbie: *crunch* *snap* *pop*
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Clench: That'll teach you, you faithless wench! Little miss innocent wasn't
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so innocent after all, was she? Let's see how you like the garbage
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dispose-all.
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Barbie: *whirrrrrrrrrr* *kaCHUNG* *CRACKACRACKACRACK* *REEEEEEEEEEEE*
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*CHUNGachung* *chunkchunkchunk* *whirrrrrrrrrr*
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Clench: Why'd you have to go and make me do that, huh? You think I like
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having to do these things? Why'd you have to go and leave me like that? You
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left me, just like they all leave me, all the teenage girls with their oh so
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perfect hair and breasts... well there are more where you came from. Plenty
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more, and I can afford just as good as you.
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_______ __________________________________________________________________
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/ _ _ \|Demon Roach Undrgrnd.806/794-4362|Kingdom of Shit.....806/794-1842|
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((___)) |Cool Beans!..........415/648-PUNK|Polka AE {PW:KILL}..806/794-4362|
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[ x x ] |Metalland Southwest..713/579-2276|ATDT East...........617/350-STIF|
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\ / |The Works............617/861-8976|Ripco ][............312/528-5020|
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(' ') | Save yourself! Go outside! DO SOMETHING! |
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(U) |==================================================================|
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.ooM |Copyright (c) 1994 cDc communications and Clench. |
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\_______/|All Rights Reserved. 07/01/1994-#266|
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