57 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
57 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
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File : SPH-7.TXT
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Author : Bat Bastard
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BBS : The Banana Republic BBS
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SPHEROIDS, episode 7
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The battle is o'er the struggle done
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Tilly ran to the window to see what all the commotion was. On the street,
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she espied the bleeding corpse of a dead police constable. "How unfortunate"
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thought Tilly, with the insufferable indignation of the rightesous. "My young
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ethnic neighbour (what was his name ?, Nelson Warwick Abbatoir, or something)
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was obviously trying out his new birthday present. But who would clean up the
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mess?", To avoid thinking about this, (or performing any other unpleasanrt
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tasks, such as asking Lacy for her share of the rent ) Tilly went to sleep for
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the next 3 days.
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Some Tilly was woken by Lacy, or more correctly, she was woken by an
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electric egg-whisk, weilded by Lacy. " Come, old fiend, the grimes out front"
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misquoted Lacy (who suffered from occasional delusions of literacy, though, she
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was (as Tilly pointed out), better at cunnilingus, than a cunning linguist),
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refering to the maternal cadaver, which was, at this very moment, perched in
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the back seat of a black (or dirty , it was hard to tell which) mark 1 Escort,
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which served as the Herse, on the few occasions that "Wayne Kerr, Undertaker
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and Drain unblocker " had a client.
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Next thing Tilly Knew ,she was clinging desperateally to her
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mothers corperal remains, to prevent further damage, caused as the undertaker
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negoitated corners at high speed (or any speed , come to think of it).
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"Where's the funeral?" inquired Tilly, hoping for a suriptitious swig of
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some embalming fluids. "The Baling station" Came the reply. "50 cents a kilo,
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and if your lucky, some of the bottles in the bottle bank have some dregs
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still remaining". And so it can to pass. Mummie's body (Bernard had been
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dropped in the pattied frier at McDonalds, but no-one noticed) was inserted in
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a Kleen-sak (tm) , and given pride of place on the conveyor belt, headed toward
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the mulcher. Tilly's eyes brimmed with tears. Lacy sniffed, attempting to dry
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her's on a discarded kleenex (tm).Ever the hardened undertaker, veteran of many
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a wake, (usually with a hangover), was not entirely dehydrated, optic-wise.
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"For Christ's sake, Lacy", berated Tilly "Stop swigging that bloody Ammonia"
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Before Lacy could compose a suitably lavatorial reply, there came a shreik from
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the mulching shed. "HEEEEEIIIIIGHHHHHHH!!!!!!". The operator had just observed
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Mummies maggot-bloated corpse, wending it's way through the mulcher, and was
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now in desperate need of a repository for his vomit. He stormed down the ladder
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from his cab, scattering people and garbage behind him. "Oh well," mused Tilly
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, philosophically, as the trio made themselves scarce, "At least now I know why
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it's caled a wake!".......
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TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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AUTHOR : Bat Bastard
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Brought to the WORLD by The Banana Republic BBS
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