197 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
197 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
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Anarchy inc. ...proudly presents...
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FUCK!! volume 1;revision 2.24
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with specially selected quotes from The VanMaster(an over-the-hill dude!)
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Written on December 27th, 1984 A.D. -=- Sponsered by:The VanCo Associates
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||---------------------------------------|| "We haven't done much in the
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|| Anarchy inc. The Daredevil, || past year, but we're still
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|| Havoc The Chaos, The Moon Roach || going strong!"
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|| D.B. Cooper, Ruby Tuesday, DreadStar|| -Ron VanZuylen
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|| The $heik, Eric C. Thompson, || VanVision CBBS 300/1200 baud
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|| Space Ace, Grim Jack, Princess Leia|| (408) 732-1079
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|| The Bullseye, Surf Rat, A Modem User || "if you connect, you're lucky."
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||-------------------------------------|| -The VanMaster
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.::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..
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Chapter one : Life "Take two of anything, call anybody you want."
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-The VanMaster
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To some people, life is wonderful. These people usually have
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2.3 girlfriends, a porsche coming at graduation, they are the captain
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of the football team, totally buffed, and have blond hair, blue eyes with
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no ache. This soft of person exists only on the Brady Bunch however,
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which is a terrible pity. You aren't wonderful, and you're probally looked
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down at by these people anyways. If you are wonderful, good-looking, etc.
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then why are you using a modem in the first place? Isn't most of the stuff
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you do in your life useless? You take time to earn money, spend it, and
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earn it again. Useless. In one million years, nobody will remember
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you, on this pitiful little planet. All efforts that you put in to making
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yourself useful are completely shot to hell. Maybe not, after all,
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does hell even exist? (This will be discussed in later chapters...)
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You spend time building up your life, only to have it torn apart by
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forces beyond your control. Why live? You live in a world where there
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are 27 different brands of peanut butter, where man distroys nature for
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the building of a shopping mall, and people still think digital watches
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are neat. Everything around you is useless, futile, and discustingly
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pathetic. While you worry if your hair is "tweaked" or not, people are
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starving to death in Africa. Yet, in another opinion, who gives a
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flying huck if they die? Perhaps it is for the better, or perhaps one
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of these people will grow up and find a cure for cancer. But if dosen't
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matter if they do or not, because we're all going to be dead in 10,000
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years anyway.
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Chapter two : Religion "Why use a modem...I have a pinata!"
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-The VanMaster
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Perhaps, there is no god. Perhaps there is a god. Perhaps it
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is the VanMaster, but this is very unlikely. Maybe Eric C. Thompson
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is god. Or maybe one of those african children are...But I doubt that
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too. Now, people say that evolution cannot work, because something cannot
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come out of nothing. The same can apply to where god came from. Now,
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let's take another piece of evidence. The human body is so perfectly
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mapped out, and planned, that somebody must have put it together, pieced
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it together. But who? God couldn't have, because nobody knows where
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he/she/it came from! Religious fanatics say that people will know when
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they are dead. O-Boy, I just can't wait. This is probally just a cop-out,
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but who am I to question them? Who am I to say that they are wrong?
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Yet, who are they to say that my ideals and wrong, and I am living in sin?
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All these people come to my door, and tell me that I am living wrong, while
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they ask for donations and hand me pamplets? I say, that as long as they
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don't bother me, I won't bother them, and we can both live in happiness.
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Why can't we? To end it on an intresting note, "lord knows."
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Chapter three : Sex "The reason that there's no law against
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masturbation is because people would probally
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take the law into their own hands."
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-The VanMaster
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Sex. Nice word, isn't it? You can use it to get people's attention.
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Imagine, walk into a church and yell "SEX!" and, by golly, look at all the
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attention you'll get. The word causes mormons to cringe upon sight.
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This is why you don't see the word "SEX" hanging over your mantleplace.
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You can have sex on your mantleplace, if it's big enough, or if you
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are the data general., The word can also get you a slap in the face, or a
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very (ahem!) intresting evening. According to the VanMaster sex is
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highly overrated. (not in the case of Madonna), breath, and sometimes
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respect. It is avery powerful thing. Most people have it in their
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power. Most don't,like Matt Ackeret, and the Champion Eternal, but I
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wouldn't know. (Check NewsWeek, Mar 14, '62 p.104-05 cover contains
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Jennifer Kirby for more information...) If you are incapable of having
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sex, then life is hard, especially if you're into masturbation and movies.
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Sex also brings children, which is a bad side-effect. It is a common
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rumor that Sex has a direct link to reproducton, but that is not true.
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(Again, check that issue of Newsweek, the one with Jennifer Kirby on the
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cover..) Sex is a new thing to most modern-day teenagers, which is why
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there is no such thing as a "sweet sixteen" anymore. In fact, there
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dosen't seem to be a "sweet thirteen"...(Once again check that issue of
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newsweek with the article on Kirby...) Kinky sex is not advised, as it
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leaves scars and other noticable marks on unique parts of the body. We
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won't go into such things as whips, chains, vibrators with kickstarters,
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or canalope. Personally, I don't like canalope. I like grapefruit. (Again,
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check that damn articial.) Telephone sex. What a concept. I, for
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one, am against telephone sex, because it distroys the mind, your fantasies,
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and it's tiring too! Homosexuality makes me sick, especually in males.
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Females don't bother me, as I like them anyway. If god had wanted
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homosexuality, there would have Adam, Bob, and Eve. Eve, however, would
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have got the short end of the stick. Think about it, or better not,
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don't think about it, because maybe god dosen't exist, or maybe there WAS
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Adam and Bob. And Bob just didn't get full credit, besides he wasn't
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into the visibility kick. Maybe he got a sex change back in Eden, but
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Adam must have done it. Maybe Adam is alive today, living in the body
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of The Quazar, but this isn't too possible, since Bob is living in the
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body of The Champion Eternal. Perhaps this is all garbage, and should
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be printed out on tractor feed paper, and wadded up and thrown into the
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garbage disposal. Then again, print this on the back on your hand, and
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wad it up and it in the garbage disposal and see the expression your
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face, as well as the expression on your mothers.
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Chapter four : Love "Not only do blondes have more fun,
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they have more V.D..."
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-The VanMaster
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Love is a feeling. Can love really last, or are we all
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just fooling ourselves? Isn't is funny how people go through their
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life loving so many people. Is there a real love? Or is all just
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a lie, an illusion of the mind? Is love an emotion, like happiness,
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joy, sadness? It seems to be a combination of all of these. Is love
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eternal? How many boy/girlfriends have you had? Did you love them?
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Ask youself, what is love? Does anybody really love anybody? Is
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it a strong word, or is it just a word, like any other? What makes
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love any different than happiness? or sadness? It is directly
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related to one person, or many people. Do you love the world? Would
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you die for it? I think not. Yet would you die for your boy/girl
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friend? I would...On the other hard, if I did die for them, I wouldn't
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have them. Intresting. But it is a nice thing to say to somebody, isn't
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it? Love, perhaps is a bond, holding two people together. Bonds
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can break, tragically, utterly, and perhaps quickly. (For example,
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ask people around you.) How fast does it take to fall out of love?
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Two, three days perhaps? Six weeks? Six years? Maybe. It all
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depends on what kind of personallity you have. Think about this
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one, let it sit.
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Chapter five : Personallity "The day after tomorrow is the third
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day of the rest of your life."
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-The VanMaster
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I am a mixture of personallities. I am part of the VanMaster,
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Havoc The Chaos, The $heik, and other friends of mine. Does this mean
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that I have no personallity, but instead, am a mixture of other people?
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No, it is that I am my own person that ticks up people's quirks and
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mannerisms.
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This text-file is over. I'm tired, and look for later editions.
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Last comments:
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The VanMaster:"Kevin Q. Clover, aka THE QUAZAR, does not like being called
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Uncle Quazar, due to the grounds that his associates might find
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out that he is a COMPUTER GEEK, and he needs his modem for a
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semblence of a social life. That's sad, isn't it?"
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The Daredevil:"Hey, I just work here..."
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Bob:"Fuck."
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Ron S. VanZuylen:"Hmmmm...I think I'll sink Austraila."
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This text-file is owned in part by The VanCo Associates, with concepts
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stolen with permission from Ron S. VanZuylen. Anarchy inc. would like to
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have nothing to do with this file, but we're stuck with it.
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(c) 1984 All Tables Reserved. MCMLXXXIV
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with many thanks to Jennifer "Trillia" Kirby, for without her, this text-file
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would have gone as planned. No nobody's going to read it!
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For a good time, call Jennifer Kirby at (408) 245-,mnW]@\a(8 or at
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(415) 976-6060 or at 800-DUM-PRON!! All these calls are toll-free.
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HAVE A NICE DAY.
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(Kinda scary, eh?)
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Oh, your mother sins so bad.
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Oh, the dog ate your bible.
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Life is getting better.
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Warning: Exploding bibles can be hazardous to your health.
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm)
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& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845
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Rat Head Ratsnatcher 510-524-3649
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Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766
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realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 415-567-7043
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Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102
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Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives,
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arcane knowledge, political extremism, diversive sexuality,
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insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS.
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Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are,
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where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother.
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"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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