488 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
488 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
+-------------------------------------+
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! !
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! Nowonkanu FCC Too Many: !
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! Journey into the Unwanted Zone !
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! !
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! Written by Fritz Mertens !
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! 5/8/85 !
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! !
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! Realm of the Rogues:415-941-1990 !
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! The Haunted House :415-941-7256 !
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! Greater Los Angeles:415-854-0684 !
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! South Side of the Sky: 408/738-1685 !
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! !
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+-------------------------------------+
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------------
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Anarchy inc.
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------------
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Due to the recent influx of billions and billions of Nwonknu BBSs, there was
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ample room, and sufficient need for a parody. Remember to take this in the
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light-hearted humorous manner in which it is presented. Thanks to Ken, cause if
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it weren't for him, this T-file just wouldn't exist! So, without further ado,
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on with the great adventure into the Unwanted Zone!
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=======================================
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AE: Term-->
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You have made it to:
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The one...
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The only...
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The truly incomperable...
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The Nowonkanu FCC Too Many
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Sysop:Ken Homrich (Nowonkanu)
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-=-=-
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Co-sysops:The Unbuckled
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-=-=-=-=- Kristy
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The Outlawed
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Mr. Mischevious
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The Biter
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Black Panther
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Angry Hacker
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The Snake
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Lady Azure
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The Thai-Pan
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A Stool
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and a cast of thousands!
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Enter Password (or 'NONE') :~~~~
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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Please use this menu to configure
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THE NOWONKANU FCC TOO MANY
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to your terminal --
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L - Linefeeds............ON
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D - Printer Delay........0
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C - Case Toggle..........LOWER
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W - Screen Width.........40
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T - Twirling Cursor......OFF
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K - Keyboard.............QUERTY
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S - Kitchen Sink.........OUT
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Q - Quit This Section
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Enter (L,D,C,W,T,K,S,Q,?) :Q
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Welcome to my (and only mine, never forget that, it's all mine, and what's
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mine is mine!) system. Make sure you use the "I" command once on, or the Great
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God Nowonkanu will smite you down. If you have any comments/
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donations/complaints/donations/ suggestions/donations/questions/
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answers/DONATIONS or just want to write me, please feel free to leave
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"F"eedback. Also, I will be calling you (voice), so leave me a message leting
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(sic) me know when to call. All this information will be recorded and sent to
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the F.B.I, so leave correct information. Thanks!
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Please give alias below...
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Please answer the following questions-
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What do you wish to be called?
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>JHONNY THE AVENGER
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Format: [XXX-XXX-XXXX]
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Enter your 'voice' phone# :415-326-4930
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You are JHONNY THE AVENGER
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Phone: 415-326-4930
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Is this correct? Y
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Checking user file...OK
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Answer these questions for our records:
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Real Name (full):MAXWELL SMART
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Birthdate (Format:MM/DD/YY):02/29/72
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Social Security #:865-56-9845
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Mother's Maiden Name:SWENSON
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Visa/Mastercard #:4128 426 238 925
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Expiration date:05/86
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Credit limit (in $):2000
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Home address:
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#/Street:321 RIDGEWAY DRIVE
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City:REDWOOD CITY
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State:CALIFORNIA
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Country:UNITED STATES
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Continent:NORTH AMERICA
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House color:GREEN
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How much will you donate to this
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system (in $10 increments):0
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** INSUFFICIENT RESPONSE **
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How much will you donate to this
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system (in $10 increments):10
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Are you sure? Y
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Do you want a [P]assword, or to just
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look around as a [G]uest? :P
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Please enter a four letter combination
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to be used as part of your password.
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Password letters:FBI1
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Your Password is --> 69FBI1
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Please make a note of your new password
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and be very careful not to lose it,
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else the wrath of Nowonkanu be upon
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you! You will need it each and every
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time you log into
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THE NOWONKANU FCC TOO MANY...
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Press any key to enter system:
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On-Line: JHONNY THE AVENGER
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Good Lunchtime! It's 12:12:12 PM.
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Last Caller was: CRACKERJACK KID
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(Sorry, no mail waiting for you.)
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-=-=- A N N O U N C I N G . . . -=-=-
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[CTRL-S 2 PAUSE/SPACE 2 QUIT]
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7th of May:
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Wow! We just got a K-K-K00l new user,
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and I think we should all bow and
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scrape to him, he's so K-RAD! His
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name is Mr. Magneto, and he comes to
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us from the superior BBS of The Lost
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Land. He's way up in the levels
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there, but is only level 3 here! He
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decided to bless our BBS, and start
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calling here, wow, isn't that neat?
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Well, he might run a game, if we ask
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him pretty-please, and give him hard,
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cold cash. So get your wallets out,
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and salute our new user, Mr. Magneto!
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I'm just tickled pink to welcome Mr.
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Magneto to our BBS...Wow!
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Ken
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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The Nowonkanu FCC Too Many Main Menu
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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[A] Announcing... =-= [*] Boreds List
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[B] K-K-K00l BBSs -=- [$] Upset Change
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[C] Chat with Ken =-= [&] New Boarder
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[D] Delete Drivel -=- [%] All Boarders
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[E] Electric Mail =-= SysOp:
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[F] Feed the Sysop-=- Ken Homrich
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[G] General Sex =-=
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[I] Info/T-shirts -=- Co-SysOps:
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[L] Last 10 Losers=-= too many to list
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[M] List of Losers-=-
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[N] Peek NewMsgs=#= Call Nowonkanu's
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[O] Get Off Now. -1- (415) 555-4194
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[P] Post Drivel =2= (415) 555-3831
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[S] Scan Drivel -3- (415) 555-9865
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[T] Time to go =4= (415) 555-3705
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[V] Vote 4 Nothin -5- (415) 555-5179
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[Y] Yer Status =6= (415) 555-2306
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[!] Get Off Quick -=- More on [B] list
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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[GOD I'M GOOD....]
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[1]: THE MAIN BOARD
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[?=MENU] COMMAND:I
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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-=- System Info/Rules/T-Shirt Info -=-
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[CTRL-S 2 PAUSE/SPACE 2 QUIT]
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This System is run on:
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Apple Hard Drive
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Clock Modem
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Screen Printer
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Rules for Users:
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No Swearing No Phreaking
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No Hacking No Pirating
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No Alcohol No Sex
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No Drugs No Rock & Roll
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No Nothing! Be Mature
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Be Polite Be Prepared
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** D O N A T E **
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System Location:
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The Nowonkanu FCC Too Many
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C/O Ken Homrich
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123 Main Street
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Your Town, USA
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T-Shirt Info:
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The Nowonkanu FCC's are offering to
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create iron-ons for t-shirts for
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outrageous prices; only $10 each,
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$50 for 4. These are guaranteed to
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fade within a month, or you can buy
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another at full price! Just give us
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a pic (in apple readeble (sic) form
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unless it is a text picture). If you
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don't have AE to upload it, tuff
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beans, that'll cost you xtra $$$!
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Send the bucks and pic to the above
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address, and we'll make sure to get
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to your order in the next 3 months.
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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[LADY AZURE IS A LAZY BUM!!]
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[1]: THE MAIN BOARD
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[?=MENU] COMMAND :B
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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-=- K-K-K00L Bulletin Board Systems -=-
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[CTRL-S 2 PAUSE/SPACE 2 QUIT]
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The Nowonkanu FCC 1........415-555-4194
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The Nowonkanu FCC 2........415-555-3831
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The Nowonkanu FCC 3........415-555-9865
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The Nowonkanu FCC 4........415-555-3705
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The Nowonkanu FCC 5........415-555-5179
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The Nowonkanu FCC 6........415-555-2306
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The Nowonkanu FCC 7........415-555-8528
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The Nowonkanu FCC 8........415-555-3756
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The Nowonkanu FCC 9........415-555-4576
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The Nowonkan
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List by The NOWONKANU FCC TOO MANY
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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[CALL THIS LAME BBS: 415-555-4194]
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[1]: THE MAIN BOARD
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[?=MENU] COMMAND :L
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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-=- Last 10 Losers -=-
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- Ago - Name of Loser - Lvl -
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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- 1 - CRACKERJACK KID - 2 -
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- 2 - THE UNBUCKLED - 8 -
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- 3 - KEN HOMRICH - 9 -
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- 4 - LADY AZURE - 8 -
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- 5 - KEN HOMRICH - 9 -
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- 6 - KEN HOMRICH - 9 -
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- 7 - KEN HOMRICH - 9 -
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- 8 - THE UNBUCKLED - 8 -
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- 9 - KEN HOMRICH - 9 -
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- 10 - KEN HOMRICH - 9 -
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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[FREE SEX...WITH A DOG: CALL 555-3831]
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[1]: THE MAIN BOARD
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[?=MENU] COMMAND :F
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Sorry, that section is only available
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to users of level 2 access.
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After your information is verified by
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the SysOp, and you leave [F]eedback,
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you may receive access.
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[YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER...]
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[1]: THE MAIN BOARD
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[?=MENU] COMMAND :*
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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: Bulletin Boards - Menu :
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:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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[1]...The Main Board
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[2]...The Gaming Board
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[3]...The Music & Movies Board
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[4]...The Jokes Board
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[5]...The For Sale/Wanted Board
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[6]...The Bored Board
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[7]...How Have You Helped Nowonkanu
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[8]...What Should be in a BBS?
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[9]...Certainly Not This!
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[10]..Why Not?
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[11]..Because it Looks Dumb!
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[12]..Ok, I'll Stop it Then.
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[13]..Good For You!
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[14]..The Starry-Eyed League (Club)
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[15]..The FCC (Air-Wave Regulators)
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[16]..IBM Board
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[17]..Apple Board
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[18]..Timex-Sinclair Board
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[19]..Free For All Sex Board
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[20]..Advice&Consent Board/Lady Azure
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Now Active: The Main Board
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Select (1-20, Q=Quit) Board #Q
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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[KEN'S HOUSE OF PANCAKES-NO RELATION!]
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[1]: THE MAIN BOARD
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[?=MENU] COMMAND :M
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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-=- Master List of Losers -=-
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[L]ist, [S]earch, [H]elp, [Q]uit :L
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THE NOWONKANU FCC TOO MANY Losers List:
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[CTRL-S 2 PAUSE/SPACE 2 QUIT]
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1. ALEXANDER O'ATLANTIS
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2. ANGRY HACKER
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3. BEOWULF
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4. BILL THE CAT
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5. BITBRAIN
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6. BLACK PANTHER
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7. BOUNTY BOB
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8. CAP'N HACK
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9. CAPTAIN HACKER
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10. COMPUTER MAN
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11. DEAR ABBY
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12. DILVISH
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13. DISC DECODER
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14. DONALD DUCK
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15. DROOPY EYES
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16. E-MAIL MAN
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17. HEIDI
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18. JIMMY THE PHREAK
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19. KEN HOMRICH
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20. KID SAFARI
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21. KRISTY
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22. LADY AZURE
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23. MR. MANIAC
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24. MR. MISCHEVIOUS
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25. PLEASURE VICTIM
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26. PRINCE OF DARKNESS
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27. RAP-MASTER
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28. SKATE 'N DESTROY
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29. SOMEONE ELSE
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30. THE BITER
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31. THE CRACKERJACK KID
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32. THE DESTROYER
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33. THE LAST STARFIGHTER
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34. THE MODEM HACKER
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35. THE OUTLAWED
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36. THE SCUZZ
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37. THE SNAKE
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38. THE THAI-PAN
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39. THE THRASHER
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40. THE UNBUCKLED
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41. THE WABIT
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42. TITAN PROMETHEUS
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43. YE OLDE TAVERN
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-- End of List --
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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[NOWONKANU WEARS WOMAN'S CLOTHES]
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[1]: THE MAIN BOARD
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[?=MENU] COMMAND :S
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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-=- Scan/Read Drivel -=-
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There are 8 messages posted
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Accessing the Main Board...
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Scan from [1-8/N=New] :1
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*1. %THIS BOARD
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*2. Now, what do we do?
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*3. I dunno, any suggesions?
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*4. NUKE THIS BOARD!!!
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*5. ^^^Bad Idea.
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*6 %COME ON GUYS, VOTE!
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*7. About Mr. Magneto...
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*8. %PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU!
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[S]can/[Q]uit/[1-8, Last=0] :1
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Numb: 1
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Subj: %THIS BOARD
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From: KEN HOMRICH
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Date: Sun Mar 3 8:39:36 PM
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POST ABOUT ANYTHING THAT WON'T FIT ON
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ANOTHER BOARD...DO IT HERE!
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WE ARE 1200 BAUD NOW...
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WE HAVE A K-K-K-K00L SYSOP...
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AND MANI INTERESTING FURRY ANIMALS...
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INCLUDING THE MAJESTIC M00SE!
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KEN
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[S]can/[Q]uit/[1-8, Last=1] :Q
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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[ONE DAY, POW! RIGHT IN THE KISSER!]
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[1]: THE MAIN BOARD
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[?=MENU] COMMAND :O
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Ready to Log-Off [Y/N]? Y
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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Sign-off Loser #4117 at 12:35:56 PM
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Please call THE NOWONKANU FCC TOO MANY
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||
again!
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Good-Bye, JHONNY THE AVENGER...
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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||
|
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AE: Connection Terminated
|
||
|
||
=======================================
|
||
|
||
Well, there you have it, your first (and only) excursion into the Unwanted
|
||
Zone of THE NOWONKANU FCC TOO MANY. We hope you enjoyed it, or at least got a
|
||
good laugh...till next time, Edios!
|
||
|
||
This has been an Ed-Co production...
|
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|
||
Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
|
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