75 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
75 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
[Never finished, was posted early by an overzelus follower]
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The following text is the work of very insane people that
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decided to be very annoying to some people in a nice and
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large computer cluster. Please ignore all attempts by the
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people in the cluster who wish to beat the authors of this
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here text and all bloodstains that may be spotted on any
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printed documents of this text --that is if you can find it
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after the people who are not amused about the authors writing
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this do.
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Sit back, and enjoy.
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TTTTT his is the story of Spam. The authors of this
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T program wish to make it perfectly clear that this
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T file is meant to be absolutely harmless to most and
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T specific individuals. However, this file in its
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T previous forms has been known to cause serious side
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effects to the people who happened to pick up this
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document that was lying on some coffee table in the
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middle of nowhere. All of the side effects are not
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known at this point as half of the population that
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actually experienced these side effects would not
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possibly dream to actually admit to these side
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effects. Some of the side effects that actually
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been reported are as follows:
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~ Serious Addictions and cravings to demented sodas such as
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Mello Yello and Moxie. We, of the Church of Spam, can
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completely understand this cravings but we cannot be
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responsible for any illegal trades for these substances such
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as siblings and Kmarts.
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~ Answering the phone "Yellow?"
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~ Prasing other lifeforms and the start of a major movements
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that are meant for the preservation of rare and endangered
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life forms such as cows.
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~ Going on demented rampages throughout the neighborhood
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paintballing cats.
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~ We are not going to mention any more side effects, as we
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actually WANT YOU TO READ THIS AND SUFFER THE
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CONSEQUENCES!!!!
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[...we apologize for our last typer as he had drunk too much
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mello yello before he got this. He has been severely
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flogged and dragged out and pseudo-shot. Again, we
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apologize for the interruption...]
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HAIL Gavin!
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Gavin "S.F.A." Healy, the previous Head Pope of Spam, has
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been promoted to god-status within the parameters of the
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known universe and now walks the earth with his never-ending
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curls of hair that still give him the Nat-X look that he is
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and always will be famous for. He is known for the tan
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and brown sweater that he always has donned ever since the
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beginning of time when all there was was Gavin, Arjaii, and
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Spam.
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Arjaii, also known as Raphael Dareau and other various
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names that he is called by his girlfriend and his anti-
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girlfriend. He can be easily identified by his tall and
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normal heights and always carries a mysterious blue backpack
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that he calls "Ton O' Fun". No one really knows what he
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carries in there except for the "Avant Cow" hat and another
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hat that no one has ever seen him wear yet. He has also been
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known to paintball cats within his local neighborhood and
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cause some anti-peaceful activities. Other than the unknown,
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Arjaii carries copies of his programs that he is proud to
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call his own (although some people are quite mystified about
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why
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