152 lines
6.9 KiB
Plaintext
152 lines
6.9 KiB
Plaintext
Date: 10 September 1981 1500-EDT (Thursday)
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From: Mike Kazar at CMU-10A (C410MK50)
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To: John.Jnestor at CMU-10A (N750JN23)
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cc: Connie Gormley at CMU-10A, jfj, info-cobol
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Re: Help!
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Date: 10 September 1981 0418-EDT (Thursday)
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From: John.Jnestor at CMU-10A (N750JN23)
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To: Mike.Kazar at CMU-10A
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Subject: Help!
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CC: connie gormley at CMU-10A
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Message-Id: <10Sep81 041838 JN23@CMU-10A>
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Origin: N750JN23 at CMU-10A; 10 Sep 1981 0420-EDT
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Mike,
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I hate to ask you this but I am desperately trying to finish writing
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my Master's thesis but can't stay awake. Do you really use tea intravenously?
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Does it work?
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John
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----------------------------------------------------------------------
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Yes, all the time. I used to use Constant Comment loose tea, but it
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turns out that it is worth the expense to get the stuff in bags. The
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people at Mass General were starting to look at me funny when I would
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stop by every other day complaining about my leg (or sometimes even
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brain) getting numb. The first time they operated and removed a clump
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of tea, they gave me a look that would wilt a watermelon.
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Frankly, this is only a desperation manoeuver. Iced tea got me through
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topology and quantum mechanics at the same time, but my hands didn't
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stop shaking for about three months after I was done with that term.
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I also spent a lot of time in the emergency room of Mass General, and
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on the whole, I probably lost 20% of my "extra" time in the hospital.
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However, I did graduate.
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There are several tips about how much sugar to add to avoid glucose
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shock, and other random details that I don't have time to type in now.
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Check with me in person for the details.
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Even now, I can't watch those Lipton iced tea commercials without
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getting a case of the shivers.
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Cheers,
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Mike
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--------
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Date: 8 May 1981 14:26 edt
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From: York.Multics at MIT-Multics (William M. York)
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To: sipb
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Re: Kazar's iced tea story long
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Here is Kazar's own version of the iced tea story. I received as mail a
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month or so ago, but never got around to disseminating it. Enjoy, and
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keep those legends alive!
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------------------
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Well, here goes the canonical ice tea story. Amazingly enough, it is
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even true. Furthermore Bill, I think that you are an unwitting
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participant in it. Anyway, here goes:
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First, the cast of characters:
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Michael Kazar ;the drug addict himself.
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Alanna Connors ;the addict's neighbor
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Carol Novitsky ;a neighbor from further down the hall.
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Charles Hoffman ;a naive frosh
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The SIPB ;a bunch of rumor mongers
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Well, at some point during the summer before my senior year, Carol
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stopped by to rave about some weird new tea that she had tried that was
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quite high in caffeine. I have the distinct impression it was more
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caffeine than anything else, as a matter of fact. She said that the
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stuff would wake her up faster than anything she had ever tried. It was
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called Morning Thunder Tea. I have seen it in the supermarket even here
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in Pittsburgh.
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I had at the time been using iced tea as my favorite source of caffeine,
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since it was also summertime and I have found that iced tea is also an
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excellent coolant. So when Carol mentioned that she found that Morning
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Thunder was excellent stuff, I decided to spin a tale. I said that no
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doubt Morning Thunder was excellent stuff and was virtually pure
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caffeine, but her problem was that she was taking it ORALLY. This was
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of course dilluting the stuff terribly. What I did, I told her, was to
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simply take this iced tea that I had, and shoot it up directly.
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Although it was quite hard on the system, it had the advantage that you
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could literally go for days after such a shot. It required a fair
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amount of sugar too, to get the right effect, since the sugar would of
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course help keep your blood sugar level high. Lastly, it is sometimes
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necessary to keep a continual flow of the stuff in, and so you would
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take the gallon jug of iced tea and mount it upside down above your head
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and keep the stuff flowing right into a vein. This could enable you to
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keep going for days on end without any problems, but when you finally
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cut off, you would crash like nobody's business.
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Well, I thought that this was a perfectly worthless story, but Carol was
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basically eating it up. One can basically tell if one is being believed
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or not, and although skeptical, what I mostly saw on her face was shock,
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since this was clearly a pretty crazy thing to do, even by our hall's
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standards. "Unfortunately" Alanna was also in the room and she thought
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this was quite funny. Quite funny indeed is an understatement, she
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actually fell on the floor laughing. This gave it away to Carol, who
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took one look at Alanna on the floor and decided this was ridiculous.
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I had, at this point stopped by the SIPB and related the above story. I
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do not know exactly to whom I did so, but that doesn't really matter. It
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included Dan Weinreb, I believ, or that is how I have come to know the
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rest of this, though the exact names of the people in the SIPB involved
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I only know from hearsay. The concept is that several months after the
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above story occurred, some folks on my hall (including Charles Hoffman)
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were eating at Colleen's. As usual, there were also several people from
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the SIPB there. I was not one of them. As I heard it later, Moon or
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someone was griping about the cold tea they had served, mumbling
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something about iced tea. Then Dan said that maybe they should "shoot
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it like Kazar". The folks at the nearby table from my hall heard this,
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and amazingly enough said "maybe it really happened".
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Later that evening, Hoffman came back to the hall and asked me about
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this story: did I really shoot iced tea? Alanna was around again, but
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she headed straight for her room to avoid cracking up again. I was on
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my own. Doing my best to keep a straight face, I explained how I had
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given it up now since it was so incredibly damaging to the body, but
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that it sure did work like a charm when things were really desperate. I
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recommended that they not use loose tea, since it could cause massive
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blood clots, and that there were certain things to do with the
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compositoin of the stuff that were just to complex to explain, so that
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they should check with me before trying it out. It is not clear that he
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believed me. He was with someone else at the time, and I seem to recall
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one of them was sure that I was full of shit and the other was not
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exactly sure, and seemed to be wondering if indeed "that could explain
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it".
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That's basically the story. It no doubt is somewhat twisted with time,
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but I still remember the looks on the people's faces, or at least I
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think I do.
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Hoffman is probably able to tell part of it, and Carol probably knows
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about half of it too (though the other half). Perhaps Wechsler does
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too, I am not sure.
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ACW@MIT-AI 05/08/81 21:21:25 Re: Kazar's iced tea story long
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To: SIPB at MIT-MC
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Wechsler only knows of this tale 1.5th hand. He was
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in his room (next door on the other side from Alanna)
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and heard Ms. Connors lose it completely (a sound
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not unlike a Bawden cackle played at double speed)
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and got the rest of the story later.
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---Me
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