textfiles/food/booze.fun

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  {         Booze:  Or Why Inky's Dagger is Such a Sneaky Drink         }
  {                         By: Captain Harlock                         }
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     At one time or another, just about every t-file author has written a
file about alcohol. So, I guess it's my turn, eh? This file is going to
be a pretty general all-around thing. Nothing specific, just a bunch of
stuff thrown in together. If it works out, I may write some specific files
on various aspects of drinking and keeping it fun.

     Although many don't know it, yours truly is actually a pretty hefty
drinker when I want to be. Not often, though. I've found that drinking
infrequently heightens the experience to a great degree. But, such is not
for everyone. In fact, I'm one of only a few I know who approach the art of
drinking in this manner.  :-)  Plus, I do have my figure to watch. Ain't
none of us getting any younger...

     I figure a few drink recipes would be a good way to start off with.
Here's a few of my favorites, time-tested and friends-approved. Hope you
enjoy them as much as I do. None of these recipes are carved in stone,
though. Feel free to modify the mixing ratios to fit your own tastes.
Remember, though, that a drink can be spoiled by being too strong as well
as being too weak.

INKY'S DAGGER
     This one has probably been around for ages under different names,
but this is the name I prefer. I like to drink this one at parties and
raves, but especially at big gatherings of those historical and fantasy
recreation societies. It's gone over real well in the past.

What to do:
     Fill a tall glass about 2/3 to 3/4 full of ice cold lemonade, the
colder the better. Use a good, fresh lemonade or concentrate. NEVER stoop
to using cheap powder lemonade drinks. Next, top off with with your favorite
gin. Keep it cheap though. I wouldn't use Befeeter or Bombay with this. Save
those for martinis and the like. Add ice if you like to make it REALLY cold.

     Drink just like lemonade. But be careful! This drink will sneak up
on you and knock you for a loop before you know it. The cold lemonade tends
to numb up your tongue, so you really don't know how much alcohol you're
getting in your system, especially if someone else has made it for you. :)

CUBA LIBRE
     I don't recall where I first found this one. I've always been a big
fan of rum and Coke type drinks, but this one was a refreshing change. You
make it in a highball glass with ice, filling it up with Coke and then
spiking it with a good smooth rum. Here's the twist: add in a big squirt
of fresh lime juice. Try to make it as smooth as possible. Naturally, some
experimentation will be needed to get it just right, but you won't complain
about that, will you?

BABY OR LIQUORMELON
     Here's one that's downright e-v-i-l. It's the perfect party drink,
because before you know it, everybody's wasted on it. And it's not too
expensive to make, either. It just requires a little time to make it.
We call it Baby, and it was by rather strange circumstances that we had
made it. It was a total accident that we found ourselves in possession of
a large watermelon and a whole bunch of liquor. So, we decided to play
around a little bit and see what we could come up with.

     Start off on the morning of the party. Get a large ripe watermelon.
Slice off one of the ends and set it aside. Dig a core down the middle of
the melon, removing a good portion of the pulp, and set that aside as well.
Pulp the inside of the watermelon with a knife, but leave this pulp inside.
Don't drain off the juice! You'll need to keep that in. When you've got
a sufficient amount of pulp inside the watermelon, start filling it with
cheap vodka (we use Popov year after year), coconut rum, and a small amount
of grain alcohol (Everclear). Fill to the top with each, then wait for them
to soak down. Fill again and repeat until no more liquor will soak into
the watermelon pulp. Stir with a spoon, then put the sliced-off end back
onto the melon and set the whole thing in a cool spot until the party.
Now do you see why you start it early? This 'curing' time allows the booze
to soak fully into the pulp and get the entire watermelon permeated with
alcohol.

     Now, at the party, uncap (decant?) the melon, cut a small pouring
spout and drain off the liquid and loose pulp into cups for everyone. Drink
and enjoy 'til it's all gone (you'll be surprised at how much is in there!).
Then when there's no more liquid, use a big knife to slice up the melon and
pass it around to everyone. There should be enough alcohol in the meat to
get people intoxicated still. This is another one that will sneak up on
you, though. The taste of the watermelon and its natural sugars tend to
mask the taste of the liquor, thus you drink (and eat) more of it, and
get the effect all the more.

DRINKING GAMES
     Drinking is meant to be something fun and enjoyable, and what's more
fun than playing games with your booze? Get some friends together, your
favorite canned beer and the instructions below.

   "Danger Beer" or "Bomb Squad"
     We like to play this one at friendly get-togethers and small social
things. You get a tableful of people, enough canned beer for each player
to have two cans, and one completely sober guy to act as the referee. Place
all the beer in the middle of the table. The referee takes about five cans
into the next room and shakes up one of them REAL hard. Then, he comes back
in and mixes the beers up so that no one can tell which one is the Danger
Beer. Each player in turn, starting with the guy who is least drunk, takes
a beer from the pool and holds it under his nose. He then pulls back the
tab to open it. If the beer doesn't explode, then he drinks the beer and
waits for his turn to come around again as the rest of the players take
turns doing the same. When someone's beer explodes into their face, every-
body shouts "Danger Beer!" and the victim has to drink the rest of the
beer on the table.

     Variant 1: Rather than drinking all the rest of the beer, the player
merely sits out. The ref repeats his duty of shaking up a beer and the
play resumes as normal. If more beer needs to be added, by all means, do
so, until there are only two people left and only a few cans of beer. This
can add up to great tension among players and spectators as more of the
players start sitting out.

    I hope you've enjoyed this booze file. I'd like to thank all the members
of the 'Baby Patrol,' past and present for helping to keep such a wonderful
tradition alive. I'd like to thank Wind Rider/Cromwell for providing me with
quality alcohol when I needed to do some more 'research'; Russ for throwing
such wonderful parties; and Riff Raff/Gunthar for introducing me to Shiner
Bock that night at the dorm party so long ago.

    Oh yeah, some final words of advice: make sure that your drinking
experience is an enjoyable one. If you keep it pleasurable, then you'll come
back for more. Plus, drink safely. Always remember never to drink and drive
(or sail, etc.). And you should never drink yourself to the point of being
sick. Once you hit that, it's time to stop, otherwise you risk doing
permanent damage to yourself, and then you're up a creek.

   Maybe next time I'll write a t-file on all my favorite drinking games, or
better yet, one on how to cure a hangover! ;-)

   Have fun!

Call these boards:

Babylon 4             (915) 267-2951 (mine, you gotta call it)
Demon Roach Undergrnd (806) 794-4362 (he's still around!)
Purple Hell           (806) 791-0747 (tell him I said hi)