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Middlemarch by George Eliot
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July, 1994 [Etext #145]
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**The Project Gutenberg Etext of Middlemarch by George Eliot**
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*****This file should be named midmr10.txt or midmr10.zip*****
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Middlemarch by George Eliot
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July, 1994 [Etext #145]
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***The Project Gutenberg Etext of Middlemarch by George Eliot***
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*****This file should be named midmr10.txt or midmr10.zip******
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Corrected EDITIONS of our etexts get a new NUMBER, midmr11.txt.
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*END*THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END*
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Middlemarch
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By George Eliot
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New York and Boston H. M. Caldwell Company Publishers
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To my dear Husband, George Henry Lewes,
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in this nineteenth year of our blessed union.
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PRELUDE
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Who that cares much to know the history of man, and how the mysterious
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mixture behaves under the varying experiments of Time, has not dwelt,
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|
at least briefly, on the life of Saint Theresa, has not smiled
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|
with some gentleness at the thought of the little girl walking
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forth one morning hand-in-hand with her still smaller brother,
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|
to go and seek martyrdom in the country of the Moors? Out they toddled
|
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from rugged Avila, wide-eyed and helpless-looking as two fawns,
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|
but with human hearts, already beating to a national idea; until domestic
|
|
reality met them in the shape of uncles, and turned them back from
|
|
their great resolve. That child-pilgrimage was a fit beginning.
|
|
Theresa's passionate, ideal nature demanded an epic life: what were
|
|
many-volumed romances of chivalry and the social conquests of a
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|
brilliant girl to her? Her flame quickly burned up that light fuel;
|
|
and, fed from within, soared after some illimitable satisfaction,
|
|
some object which would never justify weariness, which would reconcile
|
|
self-despair with the rapturous consciousness of life beyond self.
|
|
She found her epos in the reform of a religious order.
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That Spanish woman who lived three hundred years ago, was certainly
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|
not the last of her kind. Many Theresas have been born who
|
|
found for themselves no epic life wherein there was a constant
|
|
unfolding of far-resonant action; perhaps only a life of mistakes,
|
|
the offspring of a certain spiritual grandeur ill-matched with
|
|
the meanness of opportunity; perhaps a tragic failure which found
|
|
no sacred poet and sank unwept into oblivion. With dim lights
|
|
and tangled circumstance they tried to shape their thought and deed
|
|
in noble agreement; but after all, to common eyes their struggles
|
|
seemed mere inconsistency and formlessness; for these later-born
|
|
Theresas were helped by no coherent social faith and order which could
|
|
perform the function of knowledge for the ardently willing soul.
|
|
Their ardor alternated between a vague ideal and the common yearning
|
|
of womanhood; so that the one was disapproved as extravagance,
|
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and the other condemned as a lapse.
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Some have felt that these blundering lives are due to the
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inconvenient indefiniteness with which the Supreme Power has
|
|
fashioned the natures of women: if there were one level of feminine
|
|
incompetence as strict as the ability to count three and no more,
|
|
the social lot of women might be treated with scientific certitude.
|
|
Meanwhile the indefiniteness remains, and the limits of variation
|
|
are really much wider than any one would imagine from the sameness
|
|
of women's coiffure and the favorite love-stories in prose and verse.
|
|
Here and there a cygnet is reared uneasily among the ducklings
|
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in the brown pond, and never finds the living stream in fellowship
|
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with its own oary-footed kind. Here and there is born a Saint Theresa,
|
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foundress of nothing, whose loving heart-beats and sobs after an
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unattained goodness tremble off and are dispersed among hindrances,
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instead of centring in some long-recognizable deed.
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BOOK I.
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MISS BROOKE.
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----
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CHAPTER I.
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"Since I can do no good because a woman,
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Reach constantly at something that is near it.
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--The Maid's Tragedy: BEAUMONT AND FLETCHER.
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Miss Brooke had that kind of beauty which seems to be thrown into
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relief by poor dress. Her hand and wrist were so finely formed that
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she could wear sleeves not less bare of style than those in which
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|
the Blessed Virgin appeared to Italian painters; and her profile
|
|
as well as her stature and bearing seemed to gain the more dignity
|
|
from her plain garments, which by the side of provincial fashion
|
|
gave her the impressiveness of a fine quotation from the Bible,--or
|
|
from one of our elder poets,--in a paragraph of to-day's newspaper.
|
|
She was usually spoken of as being remarkably clever, but with the
|
|
addition that her sister Celia had more common-sense. Nevertheless,
|
|
Celia wore scarcely more trimmings; and it was only to close
|
|
observers that her dress differed from her sister's, and had a shade
|
|
of coquetry in its arrangements; for Miss Brooke's plain dressing
|
|
was due to mixed conditions, in most of which her sister shared.
|
|
The pride of being ladies had something to do with it: the Brooke
|
|
connections, though not exactly aristocratic, were unquestionably
|
|
"good:" if you inquired backward for a generation or two, you would
|
|
not find any yard-measuring or parcel-tying forefathers--anything
|
|
lower than an admiral or a clergyman; and there was even an ancestor
|
|
discernible as a Puritan gentleman who served under Cromwell,
|
|
but afterwards conformed, and managed to come out of all political
|
|
troubles as the proprietor of a respectable family estate.
|
|
Young women of such birth, living in a quiet country-house,
|
|
and attending a village church hardly larger than a parlor,
|
|
naturally regarded frippery as the ambition of a huckster's daughter.
|
|
Then there was well-bred economy, which in those days made show in
|
|
dress the first item to be deducted from, when any margin was required
|
|
for expenses more distinctive of rank. Such reasons would have been
|
|
enough to account for plain dress, quite apart from religious feeling;
|
|
but in Miss Brooke's case, religion alone would have determined it;
|
|
and Celia mildly acquiesced in all her sister's sentiments,
|
|
only infusing them with that common-sense which is able to accept
|
|
momentous doctrines without any eccentric agitation. Dorothea knew
|
|
many passages of Pascal's Pensees and of Jeremy Taylor by heart;
|
|
and to her the destinies of mankind, seen by the light of Christianity,
|
|
made the solicitudes of feminine fashion appear an occupation
|
|
for Bedlam. She could not reconcile the anxieties of a spiritual
|
|
life involving eternal consequences, with a keen interest in gimp
|
|
and artificial protrusions of drapery. Her mind was theoretic,
|
|
and yearned by its nature after some lofty conception of the world
|
|
which might frankly include the parish of Tipton and her own rule
|
|
of conduct there; she was enamoured of intensity and greatness,
|
|
and rash in embracing whatever seemed to her to have those aspects;
|
|
likely to seek martyrdom, to make retractations, and then to incur
|
|
martyrdom after all in a quarter where she had not sought it.
|
|
Certainly such elements in the character of a marriageable girl tended
|
|
to interfere with her lot, and hinder it from being decided according
|
|
to custom, by good looks, vanity, and merely canine affection.
|
|
With all this, she, the elder of the sisters, was not yet twenty,
|
|
and they had both been educated, since they were about twelve years old
|
|
and had lost their parents, on plans at once narrow and promiscuous,
|
|
first in an English family and afterwards in a Swiss family at Lausanne,
|
|
their bachelor uncle and guardian trying in this way to remedy the
|
|
disadvantages of their orphaned condition.
|
|
|
|
It was hardly a year since they had come to live at Tipton Grange
|
|
with their uncle, a man nearly sixty, of acquiescent temper,
|
|
miscellaneous opinions, and uncertain vote. He had travelled
|
|
in his younger years, and was held in this part of the county
|
|
to have contracted a too rambling habit of mind. Mr. Brooke's
|
|
conclusions were as difficult to predict as the weather: it was
|
|
only safe to say that he would act with benevolent intentions,
|
|
and that he would spend as little money as possible in carrying
|
|
them out. For the most glutinously indefinite minds enclose some
|
|
hard grains of habit; and a man has been seen lax about all his
|
|
own interests except the retention of his snuff-box, concerning
|
|
which he was watchful, suspicious, and greedy of clutch.
|
|
|
|
In Mr. Brooke the hereditary strain of Puritan energy was clearly
|
|
in abeyance; but in his niece Dorothea it glowed alike through faults
|
|
and virtues, turning sometimes into impatience of her uncle's talk
|
|
or his way of "letting things be" on his estate, and making her long
|
|
all the more for the time when she would be of age and have some
|
|
command of money for generous schemes. She was regarded as an heiress;
|
|
for not only had the sisters seven hundred a-year each from
|
|
their parents, but if Dorothea married and had a son, that son would
|
|
inherit Mr. Brooke's estate, presumably worth about three thousand
|
|
a-year--a rental which seemed wealth to provincial families,
|
|
still discussing Mr. Peel's late conduct on the Catholic question,
|
|
innocent of future gold-fields, and of that gorgeous plutocracy
|
|
which has so nobly exalted the necessities of genteel life.
|
|
|
|
And how should Dorothea not marry?--a girl so handsome and with
|
|
such prospects? Nothing could hinder it but her love of extremes,
|
|
and her insistence on regulating life according to notions which
|
|
might cause a wary man to hesitate before he made her an offer,
|
|
or even might lead her at last to refuse all offers. A young lady
|
|
of some birth and fortune, who knelt suddenly down on a brick floor
|
|
by the side of a sick laborer and prayed fervidly as if she thought
|
|
herself living in the time of the Apostles--who had strange whims
|
|
of fasting like a Papist, and of sitting up at night to read old
|
|
theological books! Such a wife might awaken you some fine morning with
|
|
a new scheme for the application of her income which would interfere
|
|
with political economy and the keeping of saddle-horses: a man would
|
|
naturally think twice before he risked himself in such fellowship.
|
|
Women were expected to have weak opinions; but the great safeguard
|
|
of society and of domestic life was, that opinions were not acted on.
|
|
Sane people did what their neighbors did, so that if any lunatics
|
|
were at large, one might know and avoid them.
|
|
|
|
The rural opinion about the new young ladies, even among the cottagers,
|
|
was generally in favor of Celia, as being so amiable and innocent-looking,
|
|
while Miss Brooke's large eyes seemed, like her religion, too unusual
|
|
and striking. Poor Dorothea! compared with her, the innocent-looking
|
|
Celia was knowing and worldly-wise; so much subtler is a human mind
|
|
than the outside tissues which make a sort of blazonry or clock-face for it.
|
|
|
|
Yet those who approached Dorothea, though prejudiced against her
|
|
by this alarming hearsay, found that she had a charm unaccountably
|
|
reconcilable with it. Most men thought her bewitching when she
|
|
was on horseback. She loved the fresh air and the various aspects
|
|
of the country, and when her eyes and cheeks glowed with mingled
|
|
pleasure she looked very little like a devotee. Riding was an
|
|
indulgence which she allowed herself in spite of conscientious qualms;
|
|
she felt that she enjoyed it in a pagan sensuous way, and always
|
|
looked forward to renouncing it.
|
|
|
|
She was open, ardent, and not in the least self-admiring; indeed,
|
|
it was pretty to see how her imagination adorned her sister Celia
|
|
with attractions altogether superior to her own, and if any gentleman
|
|
appeared to come to the Grange from some other motive than that of
|
|
seeing Mr. Brooke, she concluded that he must be in love with Celia:
|
|
Sir James Chettam, for example, whom she constantly considered from
|
|
Celia's point of view, inwardly debating whether it would be good
|
|
for Celia to accept him. That he should be regarded as a suitor
|
|
to herself would have seemed to her a ridiculous irrelevance.
|
|
Dorothea, with all her eagerness to know the truths of life,
|
|
retained very childlike ideas about marriage. She felt sure that
|
|
she would have accepted the judicious Hooker, if she had been born
|
|
in time to save him from that wretched mistake he made in matrimony;
|
|
or John Milton when his blindness had come on; or any of the other
|
|
great men whose odd habits it would have been glorious piety to endure;
|
|
but an amiable handsome baronet, who said "Exactly" to her remarks
|
|
even when she expressed uncertainty,--how could he affect her as a
|
|
lover? The really delightful marriage must be that where your husband
|
|
was a sort of father, and could teach you even Hebrew, if you wished it.
|
|
|
|
These peculiarities of Dorothea's character caused Mr. Brooke
|
|
to be all the more blamed in neighboring families for not securing
|
|
some middle-aged lady as guide and companion to his nieces.
|
|
But he himself dreaded so much the sort of superior woman likely
|
|
to be available for such a position, that he allowed himself to be
|
|
dissuaded by Dorothea's objections, and was in this case brave enough
|
|
to defy the world--that is to say, Mrs. Cadwallader the Rector's wife,
|
|
and the small group of gentry with whom he visited in the northeast corner
|
|
of Loamshire. So Miss Brooke presided in her uncle's household, and
|
|
did not at all dislike her new authority, with the homage that belonged to it.
|
|
|
|
Sir James Chettam was going to dine at the Grange to-day with
|
|
another gentleman whom the girls had never seen, and about whom
|
|
Dorothea felt some venerating expectation. This was the Reverend
|
|
Edward Casaubon, noted in the county as a man of profound learning,
|
|
understood for many years to be engaged on a great work concerning
|
|
religious history; also as a man of wealth enough to give lustre
|
|
to his piety, and having views of his own which were to be more
|
|
clearly ascertained on the publication of his book. His very name
|
|
carried an impressiveness hardly to be measured without a precise
|
|
chronology of scholarship.
|
|
|
|
Early in the day Dorothea had returned from the infant school
|
|
which she had set going in the village, and was taking her usual
|
|
place in the pretty sitting-room which divided the bedrooms
|
|
of the sisters, bent on finishing a plan for some buildings (a
|
|
kind of work which she delighted in), when Celia, who had been
|
|
watching her with a hesitating desire to propose something, said--
|
|
|
|
"Dorothea, dear, if you don't mind--if you are not very busy--suppose we
|
|
looked at mamma's jewels to-day, and divided them? It is exactly six months
|
|
to-day since uncle gave them to you, and you have not looked at them yet."
|
|
|
|
Celia's face had the shadow of a pouting expression in it, the full
|
|
presence of the pout being kept back by an habitual awe of Dorothea
|
|
and principle; two associated facts which might show a mysterious
|
|
electricity if you touched them incautiously. To her relief,
|
|
Dorothea's eyes were full of laughter as she looked up.
|
|
|
|
"What a wonderful little almanac you are, Celia! Is it six calendar
|
|
or six lunar months?"
|
|
|
|
"It is the last day of September now, and it was the first of
|
|
April when uncle gave them to you. You know, he said that he
|
|
had forgotten them till then. I believe you have never thought
|
|
of them since you locked them up in the cabinet here."
|
|
|
|
"Well, dear, we should never wear them, you know." Dorothea spoke
|
|
in a full cordial tone, half caressing, half explanatory.
|
|
She had her pencil in her hand, and was making tiny side-plans
|
|
on a margin.
|
|
|
|
Celia colored, and looked very grave. "I think, dear, we are
|
|
wanting in respect to mamma's memory, to put them by and take
|
|
no notice of them. And," she added, after hesitating a little,
|
|
with a rising sob of mortification, "necklaces are quite usual now;
|
|
and Madame Poincon, who was stricter in some things even than you are,
|
|
used to wear ornaments. And Christians generally--surely there are
|
|
women in heaven now who wore jewels." Celia was conscious of some
|
|
mental strength when she really applied herself to argument.
|
|
|
|
"You would like to wear them?" exclaimed Dorothea, an air of astonished
|
|
discovery animating her whole person with a dramatic action which she
|
|
had caught from that very Madame Poincon who wore the ornaments.
|
|
"Of course, then, let us have them out. Why did you not tell me
|
|
before? But the keys, the keys!" She pressed her hands against
|
|
the sides of her head and seemed to despair of her memory.
|
|
|
|
"They are here," said Celia, with whom this explanation had been
|
|
long meditated and prearranged.
|
|
|
|
"Pray open the large drawer of the cabinet and get out the jewel-box."
|
|
|
|
The casket was soon open before them, and the various jewels spread out,
|
|
making a bright parterre on the table. It was no great collection,
|
|
but a few of the ornaments were really of remarkable beauty, the finest
|
|
that was obvious at first being a necklace of purple amethysts set
|
|
in exquisite gold work, and a pearl cross with five brilliants in it.
|
|
Dorothea immediately took up the necklace and fastened it round
|
|
her sister's neck, where it fitted almost as closely as a bracelet;
|
|
but the circle suited the Henrietta-Maria style of Celia's head
|
|
and neck, and she could see that it did, in the pier-glass opposite.
|
|
|
|
"There, Celia! you can wear that with your Indian muslin.
|
|
But this cross you must wear with your dark dresses."
|
|
|
|
Celia was trying not to smile with pleasure. "O Dodo, you must
|
|
keep the cross yourself."
|
|
|
|
"No, no, dear, no," said Dorothea, putting up her hand with
|
|
careless deprecation.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, indeed you must; it would suit you--in your black dress, now,"
|
|
said Celia, insistingly. "You MIGHT wear that."
|
|
|
|
"Not for the world, not for the world. A cross is the last thing
|
|
I would wear as a trinket." Dorothea shuddered slightly.
|
|
|
|
"Then you will think it wicked in me to wear it," said Celia, uneasily.
|
|
|
|
"No, dear, no," said Dorothea, stroking her sister's cheek.
|
|
"Souls have complexions too: what will suit one will not suit another."
|
|
|
|
"But you might like to keep it for mamma's sake."
|
|
|
|
"No, I have other things of mamma's--her sandal-wood box which I am
|
|
so fond of--plenty of things. In fact, they are all yours, dear.
|
|
We need discuss them no longer. There--take away your property."
|
|
|
|
Celia felt a little hurt. There was a strong assumption of superiority
|
|
in this Puritanic toleration, hardly less trying to the blond
|
|
flesh of an unenthusiastic sister than a Puritanic persecution.
|
|
|
|
"But how can I wear ornaments if you, who are the elder sister,
|
|
will never wear them?"
|
|
|
|
"Nay, Celia, that is too much to ask, that I should wear trinkets
|
|
to keep you in countenance. If I were to put on such a necklace
|
|
as that, I should feel as if I had been pirouetting. The world
|
|
would go round with me, and I should not know how to walk."
|
|
|
|
Celia had unclasped the necklace and drawn it off. "It would be
|
|
a little tight for your neck; something to lie down and hang would
|
|
suit you better," she said, with some satisfaction. The complete
|
|
unfitness of the necklace from all points of view for Dorothea,
|
|
made Celia happier in taking it. She was opening some ring-boxes,
|
|
which disclosed a fine emerald with diamonds, and just then the sun
|
|
passing beyond a cloud sent a bright gleam over the table.
|
|
|
|
"How very beautiful these gems are!" said Dorothea, under a new current
|
|
of feeling, as sudden as the gleam. "It is strange how deeply colors
|
|
seem to penetrate one, like scent I suppose that is the reason why
|
|
gems are used as spiritual emblems in the Revelation of St. John.
|
|
They look like fragments of heaven. I think that emerald is more
|
|
beautiful than any of them."
|
|
|
|
"And there is a bracelet to match it," said Celia. "We did not
|
|
notice this at first."
|
|
|
|
"They are lovely," said Dorothea, slipping the ring and bracelet
|
|
on her finely turned finger and wrist, and holding them towards
|
|
the window on a level with her eyes. All the while her thought
|
|
was trying to justify her delight in the colors by merging them
|
|
in her mystic religious joy.
|
|
|
|
"You WOULD like those, Dorothea," said Celia, rather falteringly,
|
|
beginning to think with wonder that her sister showed some weakness,
|
|
and also that emeralds would suit her own complexion even better
|
|
than purple amethysts. "You must keep that ring and bracelet--if
|
|
nothing else. But see, these agates are very pretty and quiet."
|
|
|
|
"Yes! I will keep these--this ring and bracelet," said Dorothea.
|
|
Then, letting her hand fall on the table, she said in another
|
|
tone--"Yet what miserable men find such things, and work at them,
|
|
and sell them!" She paused again, and Celia thought that her sister
|
|
was going to renounce the ornaments, as in consistency she ought
|
|
to do.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, dear, I will keep these," said Dorothea, decidedly. "But take
|
|
all the rest away, and the casket."
|
|
|
|
She took up her pencil without removing the jewels, and still
|
|
looking at them. She thought of often having them by her, to feed
|
|
her eye at these little fountains of pure color.
|
|
|
|
"Shall you wear them in company?" said Celia, who was watching
|
|
her with real curiosity as to what she would do.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea glanced quickly at her sister. Across all her imaginative
|
|
adornment of those whom she loved, there darted now and then
|
|
a keen discernment, which was not without a scorching quality.
|
|
If Miss Brooke ever attained perfect meekness, it would not be
|
|
for lack of inward fire.
|
|
|
|
"Perhaps," she said, rather haughtily. "I cannot tell to what level
|
|
I may sink."
|
|
|
|
Celia blushed, and was unhappy: she saw that she had offended
|
|
her sister, and dared not say even anything pretty about the gift
|
|
of the ornaments which she put back into the box and carried away.
|
|
Dorothea too was unhappy, as she went on with her plan-drawing,
|
|
questioning the purity of her own feeling and speech in the scene
|
|
which had ended with that little explosion.
|
|
|
|
Celia's consciousness told her that she had not been at all in the
|
|
wrong: it was quite natural and justifiable that she should have
|
|
asked that question, and she repeated to herself that Dorothea was
|
|
inconsistent: either she should have taken her full share of the jewels,
|
|
or, after what she had said, she should have renounced them altogether.
|
|
|
|
"I am sure--at least, I trust," thought Celia, "that the wearing
|
|
of a necklace will not interfere with my prayers. And I do not see
|
|
that I should be bound by Dorothea's opinions now we are going
|
|
into society, though of course she herself ought to be bound by them.
|
|
But Dorothea is not always consistent."
|
|
|
|
Thus Celia, mutely bending over her tapestry, until she heard
|
|
her sister calling her.
|
|
|
|
"Here, Kitty, come and look at my plan; I shall think I am
|
|
a great architect, if I have not got incompatible stairs and fireplaces."
|
|
|
|
As Celia bent over the paper, Dorothea put her cheek against
|
|
her sister's arm caressingly. Celia understood the action.
|
|
Dorothea saw that she had been in the wrong, and Celia pardoned her.
|
|
Since they could remember, there had been a mixture of criticism
|
|
and awe in the attitude of Celia's mind towards her elder sister.
|
|
The younger had always worn a yoke; but is there any yoked creature
|
|
without its private opinions?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER II.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"`Dime; no ves aquel caballero que hacia nosotros viene sobre un
|
|
caballo rucio rodado que trae puesto en la cabeza un yelmo de oro?'
|
|
`Lo que veo y columbro,' respondio Sancho, `no es sino un hombre
|
|
sobre un as no pardo como el mio, que trae sobre la cabeza una
|
|
cosa que relumbra.' `Pues ese es el yelmo de Mambrino,' dijo Don
|
|
Quijote."--CERVANTES.
|
|
|
|
"`Seest thou not yon cavalier who cometh toward us on a
|
|
dapple-gray steed, and weareth a golden helmet?' `What I see,'
|
|
answered Sancho, `is nothing but a man on a gray ass like my own,
|
|
who carries something shiny on his head.' `Just so,' answered Don
|
|
Quixote: `and that resplendent object is the helmet of Mambrino.'"
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Sir Humphry Davy?" said Mr. Brooke, over the soup, in his easy
|
|
smiling way, taking up Sir James Chettam's remark that he was studying
|
|
Davy's Agricultural Chemistry. "Well, now, Sir Humphry Davy;
|
|
I dined with him years ago at Cartwright's, and Wordsworth was there
|
|
too--the poet Wordsworth, you know. Now there was something singular.
|
|
I was at Cambridge when Wordsworth was there, and I never met him--and
|
|
I dined with him twenty years afterwards at Cartwright's. There's
|
|
an oddity in things, now. But Davy was there: he was a poet too.
|
|
Or, as I may say, Wordsworth was poet one, and Davy was poet two.
|
|
That was true in every sense, you know."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea felt a little more uneasy than usual. In the beginning
|
|
of dinner, the party being small and the room still, these motes from
|
|
the mass of a magistrate's mind fell too noticeably. She wondered
|
|
how a man like Mr. Casaubon would support such triviality. His manners,
|
|
she thought, were very dignified; the set of his iron-gray hair
|
|
and his deep eye-sockets made him resemble the portrait of Locke.
|
|
He had the spare form and the pale complexion which became a student;
|
|
as different as possible from the blooming Englishman of the
|
|
red-whiskered type represented by Sir James Chettam.
|
|
|
|
"I am reading the Agricultural Chemistry," said this excellent baronet,
|
|
"because I am going to take one of the farms into my own hands,
|
|
and see if something cannot be done in setting a good pattern
|
|
of farming among my tenants. Do you approve of that, Miss Brooke?"
|
|
|
|
"A great mistake, Chettam," interposed Mr. Brooke, "going into
|
|
electrifying your land and that kind of thing, and making a parlor
|
|
of your cow-house. It won't do. I went into science a great deal
|
|
myself at one time; but I saw it would not do. It leads to everything;
|
|
you can let nothing alone. No, no--see that your tenants don't sell
|
|
their straw, and that kind of thing; and give them draining-tiles,
|
|
you know. But your fancy farming will not do--the most expensive
|
|
sort of whistle you can buy: you may as well keep a pack of hounds."
|
|
|
|
"Surely," said Dorothea, "it is better to spend money in finding
|
|
out how men can make the most of the land which supports them all,
|
|
than in keeping dogs and horses only to gallop over it. It is not
|
|
a sin to make yourself poor in performing experiments for the good
|
|
of all."
|
|
|
|
She spoke with more energy than is expected of so young a lady,
|
|
but Sir James had appealed to her. He was accustomed to do so,
|
|
and she had often thought that she could urge him to many good actions
|
|
when he was her brother-in-law.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon turned his eyes very markedly on Dorothea while she
|
|
was speaking, and seemed to observe her newly.
|
|
|
|
"Young ladies don't understand political economy, you know,"
|
|
said Mr. Brooke, smiling towards Mr. Casaubon. "I remember when we
|
|
were all reading Adam Smith. THERE is a book, now. I took in all
|
|
the new ideas at one time--human perfectibility, now. But some say,
|
|
history moves in circles; and that may be very well argued; I have
|
|
argued it myself. The fact is, human reason may carry you a little
|
|
too far--over the hedge, in fact. It carried me a good way at one time;
|
|
but I saw it would not do. I pulled up; I pulled up in time.
|
|
But not too hard. I have always been in favor of a little theory: we
|
|
must have Thought; else we shall be landed back in the dark ages.
|
|
But talking of books, there is Southey's `Peninsular War.' I am
|
|
reading that of a morning. You know Southey?"
|
|
|
|
"No" said Mr. Casaubon, not keeping pace with Mr. Brooke's impetuous
|
|
reason, and thinking of the book only. "I have little leisure for
|
|
such literature just now. I have been using up my eyesight on old
|
|
characters lately; the fact is, I want a reader for my evenings;
|
|
but I am fastidious in voices, and I cannot endure listening to
|
|
an imperfect reader. It is a misfortune, in some senses: I feed
|
|
too much on the inward sources; I live too much with the dead.
|
|
My mind is something like the ghost of an ancient, wandering about
|
|
the world and trying mentally to construct it as it used to be,
|
|
in spite of ruin and confusing changes. But I find it necessary
|
|
to use the utmost caution about my eyesight."
|
|
|
|
This was the first time that Mr. Casaubon had spoken at any length.
|
|
He delivered himself with precision, as if he had been called upon
|
|
to make a public statement; and the balanced sing-song neatness of
|
|
his speech, occasionally corresponded to by a movement of his head,
|
|
was the more conspicuous from its contrast with good Mr. Brooke's
|
|
scrappy slovenliness. Dorothea said to herself that Mr. Casaubon
|
|
was the most interesting man she had ever seen, not excepting even
|
|
Monsieur Liret, the Vaudois clergyman who had given conferences
|
|
on the history of the Waldenses. To reconstruct a past world,
|
|
doubtless with a view to the highest purposes of truth--what
|
|
a work to be in any way present at, to assist in, though only
|
|
as a lamp-holder! This elevating thought lifted her above her
|
|
annoyance at being twitted with her ignorance of political economy,
|
|
that never-explained science which was thrust as an extinguisher
|
|
over all her lights.
|
|
|
|
"But you are fond of riding, Miss Brooke," Sir James presently took
|
|
an opportunity of saying. "I should have thought you would enter
|
|
a little into the pleasures of hunting. I wish you would let me
|
|
send over a chestnut horse for you to try. It has been trained
|
|
for a lady. I saw you on Saturday cantering over the hill on a nag
|
|
not worthy of you. My groom shall bring Corydon for you every day,
|
|
if you will only mention the time."
|
|
|
|
"Thank you, you are very good. I mean to give up riding.
|
|
I shall not ride any more," said Dorothea, urged to this brusque
|
|
resolution by a little annoyance that Sir James would be soliciting
|
|
her attention when she wanted to give it all to Mr. Casaubon.
|
|
|
|
"No, that is too hard," said Sir James, in a tone of reproach that
|
|
showed strong interest. "Your sister is given to self-mortification,
|
|
is she not?" he continued, turning to Celia, who sat at his right hand.
|
|
|
|
"I think she is," said Celia, feeling afraid lest she should say
|
|
something that would not please her sister, and blushing as prettily
|
|
as possible above her necklace. "She likes giving up."
|
|
|
|
"If that were true, Celia, my giving-up would be self-indulgence,
|
|
not self-mortification. But there may be good reasons for choosing
|
|
not to do what is very agreeable," said Dorothea.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke was speaking at the same time, but it was evident
|
|
that Mr. Casaubon was observing Dorothea, and she was aware of it.
|
|
|
|
"Exactly," said Sir James. "You give up from some high, generous motive."
|
|
|
|
"No, indeed, not exactly. I did not say that of myself,"
|
|
answered Dorothea, reddening. Unlike Celia, she rarely blushed,
|
|
and only from high delight or anger. At this moment she felt angry
|
|
with the perverse Sir James. Why did he not pay attention to Celia,
|
|
and leave her to listen to Mr. Casaubon?--if that learned man would
|
|
only talk, instead of allowing himself to be talked to by Mr. Brooke,
|
|
who was just then informing him that the Reformation either meant
|
|
something or it did not, that he himself was a Protestant to the core,
|
|
but that Catholicism was a fact; and as to refusing an acre
|
|
of your ground for a Romanist chapel, all men needed the bridle
|
|
of religion, which, properly speaking, was the dread of a Hereafter.
|
|
|
|
"I made a great study of theology at one time," said Mr. Brooke,
|
|
as if to explain the insight just manifested. "I know something
|
|
of all schools. I knew Wilberforce in his best days. Do you
|
|
know Wilberforce?"
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon said, "No."
|
|
|
|
"Well, Wilberforce was perhaps not enough of a thinker; but if I
|
|
went into Parliament, as I have been asked to do, I should sit on
|
|
the independent bench, as Wilberforce did, and work at philanthropy."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon bowed, and observed that it was a wide field.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Mr. Brooke, with an easy smile, "but I have documents.
|
|
I began a long while ago to collect documents. They want arranging,
|
|
but when a question has struck me, I have written to somebody and got
|
|
an answer. I have documents at my back. But now, how do you arrange
|
|
your documents?"
|
|
|
|
"In pigeon-holes partly," said Mr. Casaubon, with rather a startled
|
|
air of effort.
|
|
|
|
"Ah, pigeon-holes will not do. I have tried pigeon-holes, but everything
|
|
gets mixed in pigeon-holes: I never know whether a paper is in A or Z."
|
|
|
|
"I wish you would let me sort your papers for you, uncle," said Dorothea.
|
|
"I would letter them all, and then make a list of subjects under each letter."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon gravely smiled approval, and said to Mr. Brooke,
|
|
"You have an excellent secretary at hand, you perceive."
|
|
|
|
"No, no," said Mr. Brooke, shaking his head; "I cannot let young
|
|
ladies meddle with my documents. Young ladies are too flighty."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea felt hurt. Mr. Casaubon would think that her uncle had
|
|
some special reason for delivering this opinion, whereas the remark
|
|
lay in his mind as lightly as the broken wing of an insect among
|
|
all the other fragments there, and a chance current had sent it
|
|
alighting on HER.
|
|
|
|
When the two girls were in the drawing-room alone, Celia said--
|
|
|
|
"How very ugly Mr. Casaubon is!"
|
|
|
|
"Celia! He is one of the most distinguished-looking men I ever saw.
|
|
He is remarkably like the portrait of Locke. He has the same
|
|
deep eye-sockets."
|
|
|
|
"Had Locke those two white moles with hairs on them?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I dare say! when people of a certain sort looked at him,"
|
|
said Dorothea, walking away a little.
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Casaubon is so sallow."
|
|
|
|
"All the better. I suppose you admire a man with the complexion
|
|
of a cochon de lait."
|
|
|
|
"Dodo!" exclaimed Celia, looking after her in surprise. "I never
|
|
heard you make such a comparison before."
|
|
|
|
"Why should I make it before the occasion came? It is a good
|
|
comparison: the match is perfect."
|
|
|
|
Miss Brooke was clearly forgetting herself, and Celia thought so.
|
|
|
|
"I wonder you show temper, Dorothea."
|
|
|
|
"It is so painful in you, Celia, that you will look at human
|
|
beings as if they were merely animals with a toilet, and never
|
|
see the great soul in a man's face."
|
|
|
|
"Has Mr. Casaubon a great soul?" Celia was not without a touch
|
|
of naive malice.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I believe he has," said Dorothea, with the full voice
|
|
of decision. "Everything I see in him corresponds to his pamphlet
|
|
on Biblical Cosmology."
|
|
|
|
"He talks very little," said Celia
|
|
|
|
"There is no one for him to talk to."
|
|
|
|
Celia thought privately, "Dorothea quite despises Sir James Chettam;
|
|
I believe she would not accept him." Celia felt that this was a pity.
|
|
She had never been deceived as to the object of the baronet's interest.
|
|
Sometimes, indeed, she had reflected that Dodo would perhaps not
|
|
make a husband happy who had not her way of looking at things;
|
|
and stifled in the depths of her heart was the feeling that her sister
|
|
was too religious for family comfort. Notions and scruples were
|
|
like spilt needles, making one afraid of treading, or sitting down,
|
|
or even eating.
|
|
|
|
When Miss Brooke was at the tea-table, Sir James came to sit down
|
|
by her, not having felt her mode of answering him at all offensive.
|
|
Why should he? He thought it probable that Miss Brooke liked him,
|
|
and manners must be very marked indeed before they cease to be
|
|
interpreted by preconceptions either confident or distrustful.
|
|
She was thoroughly charming to him, but of course he theorized a
|
|
little about his attachment. He was made of excellent human dough,
|
|
and had the rare merit of knowing that his talents, even if let loose,
|
|
would not set the smallest stream in the county on fire: hence he
|
|
liked the prospect of a wife to whom he could say, "What shall we do?"
|
|
about this or that; who could help her husband out with reasons,
|
|
and would also have the property qualification for doing so.
|
|
As to the excessive religiousness alleged against Miss Brooke,
|
|
he had a very indefinite notion of what it consisted in, and thought
|
|
that it would die out with marriage. In short, he felt himself
|
|
to be in love in the right place, and was ready to endure a great
|
|
deal of predominance, which, after all, a man could always put
|
|
down when he liked. Sir James had no idea that he should ever
|
|
like to put down the predominance of this handsome girl, in whose
|
|
cleverness he delighted. Why not? A man's mind--what there is of
|
|
it--has always the advantage of being masculine,--as the smallest
|
|
birch-tree is of a higher kind than the most soaring palm,--and
|
|
even his ignorance is of a sounder quality. Sir James might not
|
|
have originated this estimate; but a kind Providence furnishes
|
|
the limpest personality with a little gunk or starch in the form
|
|
of tradition.
|
|
|
|
"Let me hope that you will rescind that resolution about the horse,
|
|
Miss Brooke," said the persevering admirer. "I assure you,
|
|
riding is the most healthy of exercises."
|
|
|
|
"I am aware of it," said Dorothea, coldly. "I think it would
|
|
do Celia good--if she would take to it."
|
|
|
|
"But you are such a perfect horsewoman."
|
|
|
|
"Excuse me; I have had very little practice, and I should be
|
|
easily thrown."
|
|
|
|
"Then that is a reason for more practice. Every lady ought to be
|
|
a perfect horsewoman, that she may accompany her husband."
|
|
|
|
"You see how widely we differ, Sir James. I have made up my mind that I
|
|
ought not to be a perfect horsewoman, and so I should never correspond
|
|
to your pattern of a lady." Dorothea looked straight before her,
|
|
and spoke with cold brusquerie, very much with the air of a handsome boy,
|
|
in amusing contrast with the solicitous amiability of her admirer.
|
|
|
|
"I should like to know your reasons for this cruel resolution.
|
|
It is not possible that you should think horsemanship wrong."
|
|
|
|
"It is quite possible that I should think it wrong for me."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, why?" said Sir James, in a tender tone of remonstrance.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon had come up to the table, teacup in hand, and was listening.
|
|
|
|
"We must not inquire too curiously into motives," he interposed,
|
|
in his measured way. "Miss Brooke knows that they are apt to become
|
|
feeble in the utterance: the aroma is mixed with the grosser air.
|
|
We must keep the germinating grain away from the light."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea colored with pleasure, and looked up gratefully to the speaker.
|
|
Here was a man who could understand the higher inward life,
|
|
and with whom there could be some spiritual communion; nay, who could
|
|
illuminate principle with the widest knowledge a man whose learning
|
|
almost amounted to a proof of whatever he believed!
|
|
|
|
Dorothea's inferences may seem large; but really life could never have
|
|
gone on at any period but for this liberal allowance of conclusions,
|
|
which has facilitated marriage under the difficulties of civilization.
|
|
Has any one ever pinched into its pilulous smallness the cobweb
|
|
of pre-matrimonial acquaintanceship?
|
|
|
|
"Certainly," said good Sir James. "Miss Brooke shall not be urged
|
|
to tell reasons she would rather be silent upon. I am sure her
|
|
reasons would do her honor."
|
|
|
|
He was not in the least jealous of the interest with which Dorothea
|
|
had looked up at Mr. Casaubon: it never occurred to him that a girl
|
|
to whom he was meditating an offer of marriage could care for a dried
|
|
bookworm towards fifty, except, indeed, in a religious sort of way,
|
|
as for a clergyman of some distinction.
|
|
|
|
However, since Miss Brooke had become engaged in a conversation
|
|
with Mr. Casaubon about the Vaudois clergy, Sir James betook
|
|
himself to Celia, and talked to her about her sister; spoke of a
|
|
house in town, and asked whether Miss Brooke disliked London.
|
|
Away from her sister, Celia talked quite easily, and Sir James
|
|
said to himself that the second Miss Brooke was certainly very
|
|
agreeable as well as pretty, though not, as some people pretended,
|
|
more clever and sensible than the elder sister. He felt that he
|
|
had chosen the one who was in all respects the superior; and a man
|
|
naturally likes to look forward to having the best. He would
|
|
be the very Mawworm of bachelors who pretended not to expect it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER III.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Say, goddess, what ensued, when Raphael,
|
|
The affable archangel . . .
|
|
Eve
|
|
The story heard attentive, and was filled
|
|
With admiration, and deep muse, to hear
|
|
Of things so high and strange."
|
|
--Paradise Lost, B. vii.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If it had really occurred to Mr. Casaubon to think of Miss
|
|
Brooke as a suitable wife for him, the reasons that might induce
|
|
her to accept him were already planted in her mind, and by the
|
|
evening of the next day the reasons had budded and bloomed.
|
|
For they had had a long conversation in the morning, while Celia,
|
|
who did not like the company of Mr. Casaubon's moles and sallowness,
|
|
had escaped to the vicarage to play with the curate's ill-shod
|
|
but merry children.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea by this time had looked deep into the ungauged reservoir
|
|
of Mr. Casaubon's mind, seeing reflected there in vague labyrinthine
|
|
extension every quality she herself brought; had opened much of
|
|
her own experience to him, and had understood from him the scope
|
|
of his great work, also of attractively labyrinthine extent.
|
|
For he had been as instructive as Milton's "affable archangel;"
|
|
and with something of the archangelic manner he told her how he had
|
|
undertaken to show (what indeed had been attempted before, but not
|
|
with that thoroughness, justice of comparison, and effectiveness
|
|
of arrangement at which Mr. Casaubon aimed) that all the mythical
|
|
systems or erratic mythical fragments in the world were corruptions
|
|
of a tradition originally revealed. Having once mastered the true
|
|
position and taken a firm footing there, the vast field of mythical
|
|
constructions became intelligible, nay, luminous with the reflected
|
|
light of correspondences. But to gather in this great harvest
|
|
of truth was no light or speedy work. His notes already made
|
|
a formidable range of volumes, but the crowning task would be to
|
|
condense these voluminous still-accumulating results and bring them,
|
|
like the earlier vintage of Hippocratic books, to fit a little shelf.
|
|
In explaining this to Dorothea, Mr. Casaubon expressed himself nearly
|
|
as he would have done to a fellow-student, for he had not two styles
|
|
of talking at command: it is true that when he used a Greek or Latin
|
|
phrase he always gave the English with scrupulous care, but he would
|
|
probably have done this in any case. A learned provincial clergyman
|
|
is accustomed to think of his acquaintances as of "lords, knyghtes,
|
|
and other noble and worthi men, that conne Latyn but lytille."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea was altogether captivated by the wide embrace
|
|
of this conception. Here was something beyond the shallows
|
|
of ladies' school literature: here was a living Bossuet,
|
|
whose work would reconcile complete knowledge with devoted piety;
|
|
here was a modern Augustine who united the glories of doctor and saint.
|
|
|
|
The sanctity seemed no less clearly marked than the learning,
|
|
for when Dorothea was impelled to open her mind on certain themes
|
|
which she could speak of to no one whom she had before seen at Tipton,
|
|
especially on the secondary importance of ecclesiastical forms
|
|
and articles of belief compared with that spiritual religion,
|
|
that submergence of self in communion with Divine perfection
|
|
which seemed to her to be expressed in the best Christian books
|
|
of widely distant ages, she found in Mr. Casaubon a listener
|
|
who understood her at once, who could assure her of his own
|
|
agreement with that view when duly tempered with wise conformity,
|
|
and could mention historical examples before unknown to her.
|
|
|
|
"He thinks with me," said Dorothea to herself, "or rather, he thinks
|
|
a whole world of which my thought is but a poor twopenny mirror.
|
|
And his feelings too, his whole experience--what a lake compared
|
|
with my little pool!"
|
|
|
|
Miss Brooke argued from words and dispositions not less unhesitatingly
|
|
than other young ladies of her age. Signs are small measurable things,
|
|
but interpretations are illimitable, and in girls of sweet,
|
|
ardent nature, every sign is apt to conjure up wonder, hope, belief,
|
|
vast as a sky, and colored by a diffused thimbleful of matter in
|
|
the shape of knowledge. They are not always too grossly deceived;
|
|
for Sinbad himself may have fallen by good-luck on a true description,
|
|
and wrong reasoning sometimes lands poor mortals in right conclusions:
|
|
starting a long way off the true point, and proceeding by loops
|
|
and zigzags, we now and then arrive just where we ought to be.
|
|
Because Miss Brooke was hasty in her trust, it is not therefore
|
|
clear that Mr. Casaubon was unworthy of it.
|
|
|
|
He stayed a little longer than he had intended, on a slight pressure
|
|
of invitation from Mr. Brooke, who offered no bait except his own
|
|
documents on machine-breaking and rick-burning. Mr. Casaubon was
|
|
called into the library to look at these in a heap, while his host
|
|
picked up first one and then the other to read aloud from in a
|
|
skipping and uncertain way, passing from one unfinished passage
|
|
to another with a "Yes, now, but here!" and finally pushing them
|
|
all aside to open the journal of his youthful Continental travels.
|
|
|
|
"Look here--here is all about Greece. Rhamnus, the ruins of
|
|
Rhamnus--you are a great Grecian, now. I don't know whether you
|
|
have given much study to the topography. I spent no end of time
|
|
in making out these things--Helicon, now. Here, now!--`We started
|
|
the next morning for Parnassus, the double-peaked Parnassus.'
|
|
All this volume is about Greece, you know," Mr. Brooke wound up,
|
|
rubbing his thumb transversely along the edges of the leaves as he
|
|
held the book forward.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon made a dignified though somewhat sad audience;
|
|
bowed in the right place, and avoided looking at anything documentary
|
|
as far as possible, without showing disregard or impatience;
|
|
mindful that this desultoriness was associated with the institutions
|
|
of the country, and that the man who took him on this severe mental
|
|
scamper was not only an amiable host, but a landholder and
|
|
custos rotulorum. Was his endurance aided also by the reflection
|
|
that Mr. Brooke was the uncle of Dorothea?
|
|
|
|
Certainly he seemed more and more bent on making her talk to him,
|
|
on drawing her out, as Celia remarked to herself; and in looking at
|
|
her his face was often lit up by a smile like pale wintry sunshine.
|
|
Before he left the next morning, while taking a pleasant walk with Miss
|
|
Brooke along the gravelled terrace, he had mentioned to her that he
|
|
felt the disadvantage of loneliness, the need of that cheerful
|
|
companionship with which the presence of youth can lighten or vary
|
|
the serious toils of maturity. And he delivered this statement
|
|
with as much careful precision as if he had been a diplomatic envoy
|
|
whose words would be attended with results. Indeed, Mr. Casaubon
|
|
was not used to expect that he should have to repeat or revise his
|
|
communications of a practical or personal kind. The inclinations
|
|
which he had deliberately stated on the 2d of October he would think
|
|
it enough to refer to by the mention of that date; judging by the
|
|
standard of his own memory, which was a volume where a vide supra
|
|
could serve instead of repetitions, and not the ordinary long-used
|
|
blotting-book which only tells of forgotten writing. But in this
|
|
case Mr. Casaubon's confidence was not likely to be falsified,
|
|
for Dorothea heard and retained what he said with the eager interest
|
|
of a fresh young nature to which every variety in experience is an epoch.
|
|
|
|
It was three o'clock in the beautiful breezy autumn day when Mr. Casaubon
|
|
drove off to his Rectory at Lowick, only five miles from Tipton;
|
|
and Dorothea, who had on her bonnet and shawl, hurried along the shrubbery
|
|
and across the park that she might wander through the bordering wood
|
|
with no other visible companionship than that of Monk, the Great
|
|
St. Bernard dog, who always took care of the young ladies in their walks.
|
|
There had risen before her the girl's vision of a possible future
|
|
for herself to which she looked forward with trembling hope, and she
|
|
wanted to wander on in that visionary future without interruption.
|
|
She walked briskly in the brisk air, the color rose in her cheeks,
|
|
and her straw bonnet (which our contemporaries might look at
|
|
with conjectural curiosity as at an obsolete form of basket)
|
|
fell a little backward. She would perhaps be hardly characterized
|
|
enough if it were omitted that she wore her brown hair flatly braided
|
|
and coiled behind so as to expose the outline of her head in a
|
|
daring manner at a time when public feeling required the meagreness
|
|
of nature to be dissimulated by tall barricades of frizzed curls
|
|
and bows, never surpassed by any great race except the Feejeean.
|
|
This was a trait of Miss Brooke's asceticism. But there was nothing
|
|
of an ascetic's expression in her bright full eyes, as she looked
|
|
before her, not consciously seeing, but absorbing into the intensity
|
|
of her mood, the solemn glory of the afternoon with its long swathes
|
|
of light between the far-off rows of limes, whose shadows touched each other.
|
|
|
|
All people, young or old (that is, all people in those ante-reform
|
|
times), would have thought her an interesting object if they had
|
|
referred the glow in her eyes and cheeks to the newly awakened ordinary
|
|
images of young love: the illusions of Chloe about Strephon have been
|
|
sufficiently consecrated in poetry, as the pathetic loveliness of all
|
|
spontaneous trust ought to be. Miss Pippin adoring young Pumpkin,
|
|
and dreaming along endless vistas of unwearying companionship,
|
|
was a little drama which never tired our fathers and mothers,
|
|
and had been put into all costumes. Let but Pumpkin have a
|
|
figure which would sustain the disadvantages of the shortwaisted
|
|
swallow-tail, and everybody felt it not only natural but necessary
|
|
to the perfection of womanhood, that a sweet girl should be at once
|
|
convinced of his virtue, his exceptional ability, and above all,
|
|
his perfect sincerity. But perhaps no persons then living--certainly
|
|
none in the neighborhood of Tipton--would have had a sympathetic
|
|
understanding for the dreams of a girl whose notions about marriage
|
|
took their color entirely from an exalted enthusiasm about the ends
|
|
of life, an enthusiasm which was lit chiefly by its own fire,
|
|
and included neither the niceties of the trousseau, the pattern
|
|
of plate, nor even the honors and sweet joys of the blooming matron.
|
|
|
|
It had now entered Dorothea's mind that Mr. Casaubon might wish
|
|
to make her his wife, and the idea that he would do so touched
|
|
her with a sort of reverential gratitude. How good of him--nay, it
|
|
would be almost as if a winged messenger had suddenly stood beside
|
|
her path and held out his hand towards her! For a long while she
|
|
had been oppressed by the indefiniteness which hung in her mind,
|
|
like a thick summer haze, over all her desire to made her life
|
|
greatly effective. What could she do, what ought she to do?--she,
|
|
hardly more than a budding woman, but yet with an active conscience
|
|
and a great mental need, not to be satisfied by a girlish instruction
|
|
comparable to the nibblings and judgments of a discursive mouse.
|
|
With some endowment of stupidity and conceit, she might have thought
|
|
that a Christian young lady of fortune should find her ideal of life
|
|
in village charities, patronage of the humbler clergy, the perusal
|
|
of "Female Scripture Characters," unfolding the private experience
|
|
of Sara under the Old Dispensation, and Dorcas under the New,
|
|
and the care of her soul over her embroidery in her own boudoir--with
|
|
a background of prospective marriage to a man who, if less strict
|
|
than herself, as being involved in affairs religiously inexplicable,
|
|
might be prayed for and seasonably exhorted. From such contentment poor
|
|
Dorothea was shut out. The intensity of her religious disposition,
|
|
the coercion it exercised over her life, was but one aspect of a
|
|
nature altogether ardent, theoretic, and intellectually consequent:
|
|
and with such a nature struggling in the bands of a narrow teaching,
|
|
hemmed in by a social life which seemed nothing but a labyrinth
|
|
of petty courses, a walled-in maze of small paths that led
|
|
no whither, the outcome was sure to strike others as at once
|
|
exaggeration and inconsistency. The thing which seemed to her best,
|
|
she wanted to justify by the completest knowledge; and not to live
|
|
in a pretended admission of rules which were never acted on.
|
|
Into this soul-hunger as yet all her youthful passion was poured;
|
|
the union which attracted her was one that would deliver her from her
|
|
girlish subjection to her own ignorance, and give her the freedom of
|
|
voluntary submission to a guide who would take her along the grandest path.
|
|
|
|
"I should learn everything then," she said to herself, still walking
|
|
quickly along the bridle road through the wood. "It would be my
|
|
duty to study that I might help him the better in his great works.
|
|
There would be nothing trivial about our lives. Every-day things with us
|
|
would mean the greatest things. It would be like marrying Pascal.
|
|
I should learn to see the truth by the same light as great men have seen
|
|
it by. And then I should know what to do, when I got older: I should
|
|
see how it was possible to lead a grand life here--now--in England.
|
|
I don't feel sure about doing good in any way now: everything
|
|
seems like going on a mission to a people whose language I don't
|
|
know;--unless it were building good cottages--there can be no
|
|
doubt about that. Oh, I hope I should be able to get the people
|
|
well housed in Lowick! I will draw plenty of plans while I have time."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea checked herself suddenly with self-rebuke for the
|
|
presumptuous way in which she was reckoning on uncertain events,
|
|
but she was spared any inward effort to change the direction of her
|
|
thoughts by the appearance of a cantering horseman round a turning
|
|
of the road. The well-groomed chestnut horse and two beautiful
|
|
setters could leave no doubt that the rider was Sir James Chettam.
|
|
He discerned Dorothea, jumped off his horse at once, and, having
|
|
delivered it to his groom, advanced towards her with something white
|
|
on his arm, at which the two setters were barking in an excited manner.
|
|
|
|
"How delightful to meet you, Miss Brooke," he said, raising his
|
|
hat and showing his sleekly waving blond hair. "It has hastened
|
|
the pleasure I was looking forward to."
|
|
|
|
Miss Brooke was annoyed at the interruption. This amiable baronet,
|
|
really a suitable husband for Celia, exaggerated the necessity
|
|
of making himself agreeable to the elder sister. Even a prospective
|
|
brother-in-law may be an oppression if he will always be presupposing
|
|
too good an understanding with you, and agreeing with you even
|
|
when you contradict him. The thought that he had made the mistake
|
|
of paying his addresses to herself could not take shape: all her
|
|
mental activity was used up in persuasions of another kind.
|
|
But he was positively obtrusive at this moment, and his dimpled hands
|
|
were quite disagreeable. Her roused temper made her color deeply,
|
|
as she returned his greeting with some haughtiness.
|
|
|
|
Sir James interpreted the heightened color in the way most gratifying
|
|
to himself, and thought he never saw Miss Brooke looking so handsome.
|
|
|
|
"I have brought a little petitioner," he said, "or rather,
|
|
I have brought him to see if he will be approved before his
|
|
petition is offered." He showed the white object under his arm,
|
|
which was a tiny Maltese puppy, one of nature's most naive toys.
|
|
|
|
"It is painful to me to see these creatures that are bred merely
|
|
as pets," said Dorothea, whose opinion was forming itself that
|
|
very moment (as opinions will) under the heat of irritation.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, why?" said Sir James, as they walked forward.
|
|
|
|
"I believe all the petting that is given them does not make
|
|
them happy. They are too helpless: their lives are too frail.
|
|
A weasel or a mouse that gets its own living is more interesting.
|
|
I like to think that the animals about us have souls something
|
|
like our own, and either carry on their own little affairs or can be
|
|
companions to us, like Monk here. Those creatures are parasitic."
|
|
|
|
"I am so glad I know that you do not like them," said good Sir James.
|
|
"I should never keep them for myself, but ladies usually are fond
|
|
of these Maltese dogs. Here, John, take this dog, will you?"
|
|
|
|
The objectionable puppy, whose nose and eyes were equally black
|
|
and expressive, was thus got rid of, since Miss Brooke decided
|
|
that it had better not have been born. But she felt it necessary
|
|
to explain.
|
|
|
|
"You must not judge of Celia's feeling from mine. I think she likes
|
|
these small pets. She had a tiny terrier once, which she was very
|
|
fond of. It made me unhappy, because I was afraid of treading on it.
|
|
I am rather short-sighted."
|
|
|
|
"You have your own opinion about everything, Miss Brooke, and it
|
|
is always a good opinion."
|
|
|
|
What answer was possible to such stupid complimenting?
|
|
|
|
"Do you know, I envy you that," Sir James said, as they continued
|
|
walking at the rather brisk pace set by Dorothea.
|
|
|
|
"I don't quite understand what you mean."
|
|
|
|
"Your power of forming an opinion. I can form an opinion of persons.
|
|
I know when I like people. But about other matters, do you know,
|
|
I have often a difficulty in deciding. One hears very sensible things
|
|
said on opposite sides."
|
|
|
|
"Or that seem sensible. Perhaps we don't always discriminate
|
|
between sense and nonsense."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea felt that she was rather rude.
|
|
|
|
"Exactly," said Sir James. "But you seem to have the power
|
|
of discrimination."
|
|
|
|
"On the contrary, I am often unable to decide. But that is
|
|
from ignorance. The right conclusion is there all the same,
|
|
though I am unable to see it."
|
|
|
|
"I think there are few who would see it more readily. Do you know,
|
|
Lovegood was telling me yesterday that you had the best notion in
|
|
the world of a plan for cottages--quite wonderful for a young lady,
|
|
he thought. You had a real GENUS, to use his expression.
|
|
He said you wanted Mr. Brooke to build a new set of cottages, but he
|
|
seemed to think it hardly probable that your uncle would consent.
|
|
Do you know, that is one of the things I wish to do--I mean, on my
|
|
own estate. I should be so glad to carry out that plan of yours,
|
|
if you would let me see it. Of course, it is sinking money;
|
|
that is why people object to it. Laborers can never pay rent to make
|
|
it answer. But, after all, it is worth doing."
|
|
|
|
"Worth doing! yes, indeed," said Dorothea, energetically, forgetting
|
|
her previous small vexations. "I think we deserve to be beaten
|
|
out of our beautiful houses with a scourge of small cords--all
|
|
of us who let tenants live in such sties as we see round us.
|
|
Life in cottages might be happier than ours, if they were real
|
|
houses fit for human beings from whom we expect duties and affections."
|
|
|
|
"Will you show me your plan?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, certainly. I dare say it is very faulty. But I have been
|
|
examining all the plans for cottages in Loudon's book, and picked
|
|
out what seem the best things. Oh what a happiness it would be to
|
|
set the pattern about here! I think instead of Lazarus at the gate,
|
|
we should put the pigsty cottages outside the park-gate."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea was in the best temper now. Sir James, as brother in-law,
|
|
building model cottages on his estate, and then, perhaps, others being
|
|
built at Lowick, and more and more elsewhere in imitation--it
|
|
would be as if the spirit of Oberlin had passed over the parishes
|
|
to make the life of poverty beautiful!
|
|
|
|
Sir James saw all the plans, and took one away to consult upon
|
|
with Lovegood. He also took away a complacent sense that he was
|
|
making great progress in Miss Brooke's good opinion. The Maltese
|
|
puppy was not offered to Celia; an omission which Dorothea
|
|
afterwards thought of with surprise; but she blamed herself for it.
|
|
She had been engrossing Sir James. After all, it was a relief
|
|
that there was no puppy to tread upon.
|
|
|
|
Celia was present while the plans were being examined, and observed
|
|
Sir James's illusion. "He thinks that Dodo cares about him,
|
|
and she only cares about her plans. Yet I am not certain that she
|
|
would refuse him if she thought he would let her manage everything
|
|
and carry out all her notions. And how very uncomfortable Sir
|
|
James would be! I cannot bear notions."
|
|
|
|
It was Celia's private luxury to indulge in this dislike.
|
|
She dared not confess it to her sister in any direct statement,
|
|
for that would be laying herself open to a demonstration that
|
|
she was somehow or other at war with all goodness. But on
|
|
safe opportunities, she had an indirect mode of making her negative
|
|
wisdom tell upon Dorothea, and calling her down from her rhapsodic
|
|
mood by reminding her that people were staring, not listening.
|
|
Celia was not impulsive: what she had to say could wait,
|
|
and came from her always with the same quiet staccato evenness.
|
|
When people talked with energy and emphasis she watched their faces
|
|
and features merely. She never could understand how well-bred
|
|
persons consented to sing and open their mouths in the ridiculous
|
|
manner requisite for that vocal exercise.
|
|
|
|
It was not many days before Mr. Casaubon paid a morning visit,
|
|
on which he was invited again for the following week to dine and stay
|
|
the night. Thus Dorothea had three more conversations with him,
|
|
and was convinced that her first impressions had been just.
|
|
He was all she had at first imagined him to be: almost everything
|
|
he had said seemed like a specimen from a mine, or the inscription
|
|
on the door of a museum which might open on the treasures of
|
|
past ages; and this trust in his mental wealth was all the deeper
|
|
and more effective on her inclination because it was now obvious
|
|
that his visits were made for her sake. This accomplished
|
|
man condescended to think of a young girl, and take the pains
|
|
to talk to her, not with absurd compliment, but with an appeal
|
|
to her understanding, and sometimes with instructive correction.
|
|
What delightful companionship! Mr. Casaubon seemed even unconscious
|
|
that trivialities existed, and never handed round that small-talk
|
|
of heavy men which is as acceptable as stale bride-cake brought forth
|
|
with an odor of cupboard. He talked of what he was interested in,
|
|
or else he was silent and bowed with sad civility. To Dorothea
|
|
this was adorable genuineness, and religious abstinence from that
|
|
artificiality which uses up the soul in the efforts of pretence.
|
|
For she looked as reverently at Mr. Casaubon's religious elevation
|
|
above herself as she did at his intellect and learning.
|
|
He assented to her expressions of devout feeling, and usually with
|
|
an appropriate quotation; he allowed himself to say that he had gone
|
|
through some spiritual conflicts in his youth; in short, Dorothea saw
|
|
that here she might reckon on understanding, sympathy, and guidance.
|
|
On one--only one--of her favorite themes she was disappointed.
|
|
Mr. Casaubon apparently did not care about building cottages,
|
|
and diverted the talk to the extremely narrow accommodation
|
|
which was to be had in the dwellings of the ancient Egyptians,
|
|
as if to check a too high standard. After he was gone,
|
|
Dorothea dwelt with some agitation on this indifference of his;
|
|
and her mind was much exercised with arguments drawn from the varying
|
|
conditions of climate which modify human needs, and from the admitted
|
|
wickedness of pagan despots. Should she not urge these arguments
|
|
on Mr. Casaubon when he came again? But further reflection told
|
|
her that she was presumptuous in demanding his attention to such
|
|
a subject; he would not disapprove of her occupying herself with it
|
|
in leisure moments, as other women expected to occupy themselves
|
|
with their dress and embroidery--would not forbid it when--Dorothea
|
|
felt rather ashamed as she detected herself in these speculations.
|
|
But her uncle had been invited to go to Lowick to stay a couple
|
|
of days: was it reasonable to suppose that Mr. Casaubon delighted
|
|
in Mr. Brooke's society for its own sake, either with or without
|
|
documents?
|
|
|
|
Meanwhile that little disappointment made her delight the more in Sir
|
|
James Chettam's readiness to set on foot the desired improvements.
|
|
He came much oftener than Mr. Casaubon, and Dorothea ceased to find him
|
|
disagreeable since he showed himself so entirely in earnest; for he had
|
|
already entered with much practical ability into Lovegood's estimates,
|
|
and was charmingly docile. She proposed to build a couple of cottages,
|
|
and transfer two families from their old cabins, which could then
|
|
be pulled down, so that new ones could be built on the old sites.
|
|
Sir James said "Exactly," and she bore the word remarkably well.
|
|
|
|
Certainly these men who had so few spontaneous ideas might be very
|
|
useful members of society under good feminine direction, if they were
|
|
fortunate in choosing their sisters-in-law! It is difficult to say
|
|
whether there was or was not a little wilfulness in her continuing
|
|
blind to the possibility that another sort of choice was in question
|
|
in relation to her. But her life was just now full of hope and action:
|
|
she was not only thinking of her plans, but getting down learned
|
|
books from the library and reading many things hastily (that she
|
|
might be a little less ignorant in talking to Mr. Casaubon), all the
|
|
while being visited with conscientious questionings whether she were
|
|
not exalting these poor doings above measure and contemplating them
|
|
with that self-satisfaction which was the last doom of ignorance and folly.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER IV.
|
|
|
|
|
|
1st Gent. Our deeds are fetters that we forge ourselves.
|
|
2d Gent. Ay, truly: but I think it is the world
|
|
That brings the iron.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Sir James seems determined to do everything you wish," said Celia,
|
|
as they were driving home from an inspection of the new building-site.
|
|
|
|
"He is a good creature, and more sensible than any one would imagine,"
|
|
said Dorothea, inconsiderately.
|
|
|
|
"You mean that he appears silly."
|
|
|
|
"No, no," said Dorothea, recollecting herself, and laying her hand
|
|
on her sister's a moment, "but he does not talk equally well on
|
|
all subjects."
|
|
|
|
"I should think none but disagreeable people do," said Celia,
|
|
in her usual purring way. "They must be very dreadful to live with.
|
|
Only think! at breakfast, and always."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea laughed. "O Kitty, you are a wonderful creature!"
|
|
She pinched Celia's chin, being in the mood now to think her
|
|
very winning and lovely--fit hereafter to be an eternal cherub,
|
|
and if it were not doctrinally wrong to say so, hardly more in need
|
|
of salvation than a squirrel. "Of course people need not be always
|
|
talking well. Only one tells the quality of their minds when they
|
|
try to talk well."
|
|
|
|
"You mean that Sir James tries and fails."
|
|
|
|
"I was speaking generally. Why do you catechise me about Sir
|
|
James? It is not the object of his life to please me."
|
|
|
|
"Now, Dodo, can you really believe that?"
|
|
|
|
"Certainly. He thinks of me as a future sister--that is all."
|
|
Dorothea had never hinted this before, waiting, from a certain
|
|
shyness on such subjects which was mutual between the sisters,
|
|
until it should be introduced by some decisive event. Celia blushed,
|
|
but said at once--
|
|
|
|
"Pray do not make that mistake any longer, Dodo. When Tantripp
|
|
was brushing my hair the other day, she said that Sir James's man
|
|
knew from Mrs. Cadwallader's maid that Sir James was to marry
|
|
the eldest Miss Brooke."
|
|
|
|
"How can you let Tantripp talk such gossip to you, Celia?"
|
|
said Dorothea, indignantly, not the less angry because details asleep
|
|
in her memory were now awakened to confirm the unwelcome revelation.
|
|
"You must have asked her questions. It is degrading."
|
|
|
|
"I see no harm at all in Tantripp's talking to me. It is better
|
|
to hear what people say. You see what mistakes you make by taking
|
|
up notions. I am quite sure that Sir James means to make you an offer;
|
|
and he believes that you will accept him, especially since you
|
|
have been so pleased with him about the plans. And uncle too--I
|
|
know he expects it. Every one can see that Sir James is very much
|
|
in love with you."
|
|
|
|
The revulsion was so strong and painful in Dorothea's mind that the tears
|
|
welled up and flowed abundantly. All her dear plans were embittered,
|
|
and she thought with disgust of Sir James's conceiving that she
|
|
recognized him as her lover. There was vexation too on account of Celia.
|
|
|
|
"How could he expect it?" she burst forth in her most impetuous manner.
|
|
"I have never agreed with him about anything but the cottages: I
|
|
was barely polite to him before."
|
|
|
|
"But you have been so pleased with him since then; he has begun
|
|
to feel quite sure that you are fond of him."
|
|
|
|
"Fond of him, Celia! How can you choose such odious expressions?"
|
|
said Dorothea, passionately.
|
|
|
|
"Dear me, Dorothea, I suppose it would be right for you to be fond
|
|
of a man whom you accepted for a husband."
|
|
|
|
"It is offensive to me to say that Sir James could think I was fond
|
|
of him. Besides, it is not the right word for the feeling I must
|
|
have towards the man I would accept as a husband."
|
|
|
|
"Well, I am sorry for Sir James. I thought it right to tell you,
|
|
because you went on as you always do, never looking just where you are,
|
|
and treading in the wrong place. You always see what nobody else sees;
|
|
it is impossible to satisfy you; yet you never see what is quite plain.
|
|
That's your way, Dodo." Something certainly gave Celia unusual courage;
|
|
and she was not sparing the sister of whom she was occasionally in awe.
|
|
Who can tell what just criticisms Murr the Cat may be passing on us
|
|
beings of wider speculation?
|
|
|
|
"It is very painful," said Dorothea, feeling scourged. "I can have
|
|
no more to do with the cottages. I must be uncivil to him. I must
|
|
tell him I will have nothing to do with them. It is very painful."
|
|
Her eyes filled again with tears.
|
|
|
|
"Wait a little. Think about it. You know he is going away for a day
|
|
or two to see his sister. There will be nobody besides Lovegood."
|
|
Celia could not help relenting. "Poor Dodo," she went on,
|
|
in an amiable staccato. "It is very hard: it is your favorite
|
|
FAD to draw plans."
|
|
|
|
"FAD to draw plans! Do you think I only care about my fellow-creatures'
|
|
houses in that childish way? I may well make mistakes. How can one
|
|
ever do anything nobly Christian, living among people with such petty
|
|
thoughts?"
|
|
|
|
No more was said; Dorothea was too much jarred to recover her temper
|
|
and behave so as to show that she admitted any error in herself.
|
|
She was disposed rather to accuse the intolerable narrowness
|
|
and the purblind conscience of the society around her: and Celia
|
|
was no longer the eternal cherub, but a thorn in her spirit,
|
|
a pink-and-white nullifidian, worse than any discouraging presence
|
|
in the "Pilgrim's Progress." The FAD of drawing plans! What was
|
|
life worth--what great faith was possible when the whole
|
|
effect of one's actions could be withered up into such parched
|
|
rubbish as that? When she got out of the carriage, her cheeks
|
|
were pale and her eyelids red. She was an image of sorrow,
|
|
and her uncle who met her in the hall would have been alarmed,
|
|
if Celia had not been close to her looking so pretty and composed,
|
|
that he at once concluded Dorothea's tears to have their origin in
|
|
her excessive religiousness. He had returned, during their absence,
|
|
from a journey to the county town, about a petition for the pardon
|
|
of some criminal.
|
|
|
|
"Well, my dears," he said, kindly, as they went up to kiss him,
|
|
"I hope nothing disagreeable has happened while I have been away."
|
|
|
|
"No, uncle," said Celia, "we have been to Freshitt to look at
|
|
the cottages. We thought you would have been at home to lunch."
|
|
|
|
"I came by Lowick to lunch--you didn't know I came by Lowick. And I
|
|
have brought a couple of pamphlets for you, Dorothea--in the library,
|
|
you know; they lie on the table in the library."
|
|
|
|
It seemed as if an electric stream went through Dorothea,
|
|
thrilling her from despair into expectation. They were pamphlets
|
|
about the early Church. The oppression of Celia, Tantripp, and Sir
|
|
James was shaken off, and she walked straight to the library.
|
|
Celia went up-stairs. Mr. Brooke was detained by a message, but when
|
|
he re-entered the library, he found Dorothea seated and already
|
|
deep in one of the pamphlets which had some marginal manuscript
|
|
of Mr. Casaubon's,--taking it in as eagerly as she might have taken
|
|
in the scent of a fresh bouquet after a dry, hot, dreary walk.
|
|
|
|
She was getting away from Tipton and Freshitt, and her own sad
|
|
liability to tread in the wrong places on her way to the New Jerusalem.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke sat down in his arm-chair, stretched his legs towards
|
|
the wood-fire, which had fallen into a wondrous mass of glowing dice
|
|
between the dogs, and rubbed his hands gently, looking very mildly
|
|
towards Dorothea, but with a neutral leisurely air, as if he had
|
|
nothing particular to say. Dorothea closed her pamphlet, as soon
|
|
as she was aware of her uncle's presence, and rose as if to go.
|
|
Usually she would have been interested about her uncle's merciful
|
|
errand on behalf of the criminal, but her late agitation had made
|
|
her absent-minded.
|
|
|
|
"I came back by Lowick, you know," said Mr. Brooke, not as if with
|
|
any intention to arrest her departure, but apparently from his
|
|
usual tendency to say what he had said before. This fundamental
|
|
principle of human speech was markedly exhibited in Mr. Brooke.
|
|
"I lunched there and saw Casaubon's library, and that kind of thing.
|
|
There's a sharp air, driving. Won't you sit down, my dear?
|
|
You look cold."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea felt quite inclined to accept the invitation. Some times,
|
|
when her uncle's easy way of taking things did not happen to
|
|
be exasperating, it was rather soothing. She threw off her mantle
|
|
and bonnet, and sat down opposite to him, enjoying the glow,
|
|
but lifting up her beautiful hands for a screen. They were not
|
|
thin hands, or small hands; but powerful, feminine, maternal hands.
|
|
She seemed to be holding them up in propitiation for her passionate
|
|
desire to know and to think, which in the unfriendly mediums
|
|
of Tipton and Freshitt had issued in crying and red eyelids.
|
|
|
|
She bethought herself now of the condemned criminal. "What news
|
|
have you brought about the sheep-stealer, uncle?"
|
|
|
|
"What, poor Bunch?--well, it seems we can't get him off--he
|
|
is to be hanged."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea's brow took an expression of reprobation and pity.
|
|
|
|
"Hanged, you know," said Mr. Brooke, with a quiet nod. "Poor Romilly! he
|
|
would have helped us. I knew Romilly. Casaubon didn't know Romilly.
|
|
He is a little buried in books, you know, Casaubon is."
|
|
|
|
"When a man has great studies and is writing a great work,
|
|
he must of course give up seeing much of the world. How can
|
|
he go about making acquaintances?"
|
|
|
|
"That's true. But a man mopes, you know. I have always been a
|
|
bachelor too, but I have that sort of disposition that I never moped;
|
|
it was my way to go about everywhere and take in everything.
|
|
I never moped: but I can see that Casaubon does, you know. He wants
|
|
a companion--a companion, you know."
|
|
|
|
"It would be a great honor to any one to be his companion,"
|
|
said Dorothea, energetically.
|
|
|
|
"You like him, eh?" said Mr. Brooke, without showing any surprise,
|
|
or other emotion. "Well, now, I've known Casaubon ten years,
|
|
ever since he came to Lowick. But I never got anything out of
|
|
him--any ideas, you know. However, he is a tiptop man and may
|
|
be a bishop--that kind of thing, you know, if Peel stays in.
|
|
And he has a very high opinion of you, my dear."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea could not speak.
|
|
|
|
"The fact is, he has a very high opinion indeed of you. And he
|
|
speaks uncommonly well--does Casaubon. He has deferred to me,
|
|
you not being of age. In short, I have promised to speak to you,
|
|
though I told him I thought there was not much chance. I was bound
|
|
to tell him that. I said, my niece is very young, and that kind
|
|
of thing. But I didn't think it necessary to go into everything.
|
|
However, the long and the short of it is, that he has asked my
|
|
permission to make you an offer of marriage--of marriage, you know,"
|
|
said Mr. Brooke, with his explanatory nod. "I thought it better
|
|
to tell you, my dear."
|
|
|
|
No one could have detected any anxiety in Mr. Brooke's manner,
|
|
but he did really wish to know something of his niece's mind, that,
|
|
if there were any need for advice, he might give it in time.
|
|
What feeling he, as a magistrate who had taken in so many ideas,
|
|
could make room for, was unmixedly kind. Since Dorothea did not
|
|
speak immediately, he repeated, "I thought it better to tell you,
|
|
my dear."
|
|
|
|
"Thank you, uncle," said Dorothea, in a clear unwavering tone.
|
|
"I am very grateful to Mr. Casaubon. If he makes me an offer,
|
|
I shall accept him. I admire and honor him more than any man I
|
|
ever saw."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke paused a little, and then said in a lingering low tone,
|
|
"Ah? . . . Well! He is a good match in some respects. But now,
|
|
Chettam is a good match. And our land lies together. I shall never
|
|
interfere against your wishes, my dear. People should have their
|
|
own way in marriage, and that sort of thing--up to a certain point,
|
|
you know. I have always said that, up to a certain point. I wish
|
|
you to marry well; and I have good reason to believe that Chettam
|
|
wishes to marry you. I mention it, you know."
|
|
|
|
"It is impossible that I should ever marry Sir James Chettam,"
|
|
said Dorothea. "If he thinks of marrying me, he has made
|
|
a great mistake."
|
|
|
|
"That is it, you see. One never knows. I should have thought
|
|
Chettam was just the sort of man a woman would like, now."
|
|
|
|
"Pray do not mention him in that light again, uncle," said Dorothea,
|
|
feeling some of her late irritation revive.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke wondered, and felt that women were an inexhaustible
|
|
subject of study, since even he at his age was not in a perfect
|
|
state of scientific prediction about them. Here was a fellow
|
|
like Chettam with no chance at all.
|
|
|
|
"Well, but Casaubon, now. There is no hurry--I mean for you.
|
|
It's true, every year will tell upon him. He is over five-and-forty,
|
|
you know. I should say a good seven-and-twenty years older than you.
|
|
To be sure,--if you like learning and standing, and that sort
|
|
of thing, we can't have everything. And his income is good--he has
|
|
a handsome property independent of the Church--his income is good.
|
|
Still he is not young, and I must not conceal from you, my dear,
|
|
that I think his health is not over-strong. I know nothing else
|
|
against him."
|
|
|
|
"I should not wish to have a husband very near my own age,"
|
|
said Dorothea, with grave decision. "I should wish to have a husband
|
|
who was above me in judgment and in all knowledge."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke repeated his subdued, "Ah?--I thought you had more
|
|
of your own opinion than most girls. I thought you liked your
|
|
own opinion--liked it, you know."
|
|
|
|
"I cannot imagine myself living without some opinions, but I
|
|
should wish to have good reasons for them, and a wise man could
|
|
help me to see which opinions had the best foundation, and would
|
|
help me to live according to them."
|
|
|
|
"Very true. You couldn't put the thing better--couldn't put
|
|
it better, beforehand, you know. But there are oddities in things,"
|
|
continued Mr. Brooke, whose conscience was really roused to do
|
|
the best he could for his niece on this occasion. "Life isn't cast
|
|
in a mould--not cut out by rule and line, and that sort of thing.
|
|
I never married myself, and it will be the better for you and yours.
|
|
The fact is, I never loved any one well enough to put myself into
|
|
a noose for them. It IS a noose, you know. Temper, now.
|
|
There is temper. And a husband likes to be master."
|
|
|
|
"I know that I must expect trials, uncle. Marriage is a state
|
|
of higher duties. I never thought of it as mere personal ease,"
|
|
said poor Dorothea.
|
|
|
|
"Well, you are not fond of show, a great establishment, balls, dinners,
|
|
that kind of thing. I can see that Casaubon's ways might suit you
|
|
better than Chettam's. And you shall do as you like, my dear.
|
|
I would not hinder Casaubon; I said so at once; for there is no
|
|
knowing how anything may turn out. You have not the same tastes
|
|
as every young lady; and a clergyman and scholar--who may be
|
|
a bishop--that kind of thing--may suit you better than Chettam.
|
|
Chettam is a good fellow, a good sound-hearted fellow, you know;
|
|
but he doesn't go much into ideas. I did, when I was his age.
|
|
But Casaubon's eyes, now. I think he has hurt them a little with too
|
|
much reading."
|
|
|
|
"I should be all the happier, uncle, the more room there was for me
|
|
to help him," said Dorothea, ardently.
|
|
|
|
"You have quite made up your mind, I see. Well, my dear, the fact is,
|
|
I have a letter for you in my pocket." Mr. Brooke handed the letter
|
|
to Dorothea, but as she rose to go away, he added, "There is not
|
|
too much hurry, my dear. Think about it, you know."
|
|
|
|
When Dorothea had left him, he reflected that he had certainly
|
|
spoken strongly: he had put the risks of marriage before her in a
|
|
striking manner. It was his duty to do so. But as to pretending
|
|
to be wise for young people,--no uncle, however much he had travelled
|
|
in his youth, absorbed the new ideas, and dined with celebrities
|
|
now deceased, could pretend to judge what sort of marriage would
|
|
turn out well for a young girl who preferred Casaubon to Chettam.
|
|
In short, woman was a problem which, since Mr. Brooke's mind felt
|
|
blank before it, could be hardly less complicated than the revolutions
|
|
of an irregular solid.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER V.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Hard students are commonly troubled with gowts, catarrhs,
|
|
rheums, cachexia, bradypepsia, bad eyes, stone, and collick,
|
|
crudities, oppilations, vertigo, winds, consumptions, and all such
|
|
diseases as come by over-much sitting: they are most part lean,
|
|
dry, ill-colored . . . and all through immoderate pains and
|
|
extraordinary studies. If you will not believe the truth of this,
|
|
look upon great Tostatus and Thomas Aquainas' works; and tell me whether
|
|
those men took pains."--BURTON'S Anatomy of Melancholy, P. I, s. 2.
|
|
|
|
|
|
This was Mr. Casaubon's letter.
|
|
|
|
|
|
MY DEAR MISS BROOKE,--I have your guardian's permission to address
|
|
you on a subject than which I have none more at heart. I am not,
|
|
I trust, mistaken in the recognition of some deeper correspondence
|
|
than that of date in the fact that a consciousness of need in my
|
|
own life had arisen contemporaneously with the possibility of my
|
|
becoming acquainted with you. For in the first hour of meeting you,
|
|
I had an impression of your eminent and perhaps exclusive fitness
|
|
to supply that need (connected, I may say, with such activity of the
|
|
affections as even the preoccupations of a work too special to be
|
|
abdicated could not uninterruptedly dissimulate); and each succeeding
|
|
opportunity for observation has given the impression an added
|
|
depth by convincing me more emphatically of that fitness which I
|
|
had preconceived, and thus evoking more decisively those affections
|
|
to which I have but now referred. Our conversations have, I think,
|
|
made sufficiently clear to you the tenor of my life and purposes:
|
|
a tenor unsuited, I am aware, to the commoner order of minds.
|
|
But I have discerned in you an elevation of thought and a capability
|
|
of devotedness, which I had hitherto not conceived to be compatible
|
|
either with the early bloom of youth or with those graces of sex that
|
|
may be said at once to win and to confer distinction when combined,
|
|
as they notably are in you, with the mental qualities above indicated.
|
|
It was, I confess, beyond my hope to meet with this rare combination
|
|
of elements both solid and attractive, adapted to supply aid
|
|
in graver labors and to cast a charm over vacant hours; and but
|
|
for the event of my introduction to you (which, let me again say,
|
|
I trust not to be superficially coincident with foreshadowing needs,
|
|
but providentially related thereto as stages towards the completion
|
|
of a life's plan), I should presumably have gone on to the last
|
|
without any attempt to lighten my solitariness by a matrimonial union.
|
|
|
|
Such, my dear Miss Brooke, is the accurate statement of my feelings;
|
|
and I rely on your kind indulgence in venturing now to ask you
|
|
how far your own are of a nature to confirm my happy presentiment.
|
|
To be accepted by you as your husband and the earthly guardian of
|
|
your welfare, I should regard as the highest of providential gifts.
|
|
In return I can at least offer you an affection hitherto unwasted,
|
|
and the faithful consecration of a life which, however short
|
|
in the sequel, has no backward pages whereon, if you choose
|
|
to turn them, you will find records such as might justly cause
|
|
you either bitterness or shame. I await the expression of your
|
|
sentiments with an anxiety which it would be the part of wisdom
|
|
(were it possible) to divert by a more arduous labor than usual.
|
|
But in this order of experience I am still young, and in looking forward
|
|
to an unfavorable possibility I cannot but feel that resignation
|
|
to solitude will be more difficult after the temporary illumination
|
|
of hope.
|
|
In any case, I shall remain,
|
|
Yours with sincere devotion,
|
|
EDWARD CASAUBON.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dorothea trembled while she read this letter; then she fell on her knees,
|
|
buried her face, and sobbed. She could not pray: under the rush of solemn
|
|
emotion in which thoughts became vague and images floated uncertainly,
|
|
she could but cast herself, with a childlike sense of reclining,
|
|
in the lap of a divine consciousness which sustained her own.
|
|
She remained in that attitude till it was time to dress for dinner.
|
|
|
|
How could it occur to her to examine the letter, to look at it
|
|
critically as a profession of love? Her whole soul was possessed
|
|
by the fact that a fuller life was opening before her: she
|
|
was a neophyte about to enter on a higher grade of initiation.
|
|
She was going to have room for the energies which stirred uneasily
|
|
under the dimness and pressure of her own ignorance and the petty
|
|
peremptoriness of the world's habits.
|
|
|
|
Now she would be able to devote herself to large yet definite duties;
|
|
now she would be allowed to live continually in the light of a mind
|
|
that she could reverence. This hope was not unmixed with the glow
|
|
of proud delight--the joyous maiden surprise that she was chosen
|
|
by the man whom her admiration had chosen. All Dorothea's passion
|
|
was transfused through a mind struggling towards an ideal life;
|
|
the radiance of her transfigured girlhood fell on the first object
|
|
that came within its level. The impetus with which inclination
|
|
became resolution was heightened by those little events of the day
|
|
which had roused her discontent with the actual conditions of
|
|
her life.
|
|
|
|
After dinner, when Celia was playing an "air, with variations,"
|
|
a small kind of tinkling which symbolized the aesthetic part of the
|
|
young ladies' education, Dorothea went up to her room to answer
|
|
Mr. Casaubon's letter. Why should she defer the answer? She wrote
|
|
it over three times, not because she wished to change the wording,
|
|
but because her hand was unusually uncertain, and she could not bear
|
|
that Mr. Casaubon should think her handwriting bad and illegible.
|
|
She piqued herself on writing a hand in which each letter was
|
|
distinguishable without any large range of conjecture, and she meant
|
|
to make much use of this accomplishment, to save Mr. Casaubon's eyes.
|
|
Three times she wrote.
|
|
|
|
MY DEAR MR. CASAUBON,--I am very grateful to you for loving me,
|
|
and thinking me worthy to be your wife. I can look forward to no better
|
|
happiness than that which would be one with yours. If I said more,
|
|
it would only be the same thing written out at greater length,
|
|
for I cannot now dwell on any other thought than that I may be
|
|
through life
|
|
Yours devotedly,
|
|
DOROTHEA BROOKE.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Later in the evening she followed her uncle into the library
|
|
to give him the letter, that he might send it in the morning.
|
|
He was surprised, but his surprise only issued in a few moments'
|
|
silence, during which he pushed about various objects on his
|
|
writing-table, and finally stood with his back to the fire,
|
|
his glasses on his nose, looking at the address of Dorothea's letter.
|
|
|
|
"Have you thought enough about this, my dear?" he said at last.
|
|
|
|
"There was no need to think long, uncle. I know of nothing to make
|
|
me vacillate. If I changed my mind, it must be because of something
|
|
important and entirely new to me."
|
|
|
|
"Ah!--then you have accepted him? Then Chettam has no chance?
|
|
Has Chettam offended you--offended you, you know? What is it you
|
|
don't like in Chettam?"
|
|
|
|
"There is nothing that I like in him," said Dorothea, rather impetuously.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke threw his head and shoulders backward as if some one
|
|
had thrown a light missile at him. Dorothea immediately felt
|
|
some self-rebuke, and said--
|
|
|
|
"I mean in the light of a husband. He is very kind, I think--really
|
|
very good about the cottages. A well-meaning man."
|
|
|
|
"But you must have a scholar, and that sort of thing? Well, it lies
|
|
a little in our family. I had it myself--that love of knowledge,
|
|
and going into everything--a little too much--it took me too far;
|
|
though that sort of thing doesn't often run in the female-line;
|
|
or it runs underground like the rivers in Greece, you know--it
|
|
comes out in the sons. Clever sons, clever mothers. I went
|
|
a good deal into that, at one time. However, my dear, I have
|
|
always said that people should do as they like in these things,
|
|
up to a certain point. I couldn't, as your guardian, have consented
|
|
to a bad match. But Casaubon stands well: his position is good.
|
|
I am afraid Chettam will be hurt, though, and Mrs. Cadwallader will
|
|
blame me."
|
|
|
|
That evening, of course, Celia knew nothing of what had happened.
|
|
She attributed Dorothea's abstracted manner, and the evidence of
|
|
further crying since they had got home, to the temper she had been
|
|
in about Sir James Chettam and the buildings, and was careful not
|
|
to give further offence: having once said what she wanted to say,
|
|
Celia had no disposition to recur to disagreeable subjects.
|
|
It had been her nature when a child never to quarrel with any one--
|
|
only to observe with wonder that they quarrelled with her, and looked
|
|
like turkey-cocks; whereupon she was ready to play at cat's cradle
|
|
with them whenever they recovered themselves. And as to Dorothea,
|
|
it had always been her way to find something wrong in her sister's
|
|
words, though Celia inwardly protested that she always said just
|
|
how things were, and nothing else: she never did and never could
|
|
put words together out of her own head. But the best of Dodo was,
|
|
that she did not keep angry for long together. Now, though they
|
|
had hardly spoken to each other all the evening, yet when Celia put
|
|
by her work, intending to go to bed, a proceeding in which she was
|
|
always much the earlier, Dorothea, who was seated on a low stool,
|
|
unable to occupy herself except in meditation, said, with the musical
|
|
intonation which in moments of deep but quiet feeling made her speech
|
|
like a fine bit of recitative--
|
|
|
|
"Celia, dear, come and kiss me," holding her arms open as she spoke.
|
|
|
|
Celia knelt down to get the right level and gave her little
|
|
butterfly kiss, while Dorothea encircled her with gentle arms
|
|
and pressed her lips gravely on each cheek in turn.
|
|
|
|
"Don't sit up, Dodo, you are so pale to-night: go to bed soon,"
|
|
said Celia, in a comfortable way, without any touch of pathos.
|
|
|
|
"No, dear, I am very, very happy," said Dorothea, fervently.
|
|
|
|
"So much the better," thought Celia. "But how strangely Dodo goes
|
|
from one extreme to the other."
|
|
|
|
The next day, at luncheon, the butler, handing something to
|
|
Mr. Brooke, said, "Jonas is come back, sir, and has brought this letter."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke read the letter, and then, nodding toward Dorothea,
|
|
said, "Casaubon, my dear: he will be here to dinner; he didn't
|
|
wait to write more--didn't wait, you know."
|
|
|
|
It could not seem remarkable to Celia that a dinner guest should
|
|
be announced to her sister beforehand, but, her eyes following
|
|
the same direction as her uncle's, she was struck with the peculiar
|
|
effect of the announcement on Dorothea. It seemed as if something
|
|
like the reflection of a white sunlit wing had passed across
|
|
her features, ending in one of her rare blushes. For the first time
|
|
it entered into Celia's mind that there might be something more
|
|
between Mr. Casaubon and her sister than his delight in bookish
|
|
talk and her delight in listening. Hitherto she had classed
|
|
the admiration for this "ugly" and learned acquaintance with the
|
|
admiration for Monsieur Liret at Lausanne, also ugly and learned.
|
|
Dorothea had never been tired of listening to old Monsieur Liret
|
|
when Celia's feet were as cold as possible, and when it had really
|
|
become dreadful to see the skin of his bald head moving about.
|
|
Why then should her enthusiasm not extend to Mr. Casaubon simply
|
|
in the same way as to Monsieur Liret? And it seemed probable
|
|
that all learned men had a sort of schoolmaster's view of young people.
|
|
|
|
But now Celia was really startled at the suspicion which had darted
|
|
into her mind. She was seldom taken by surprise in this way,
|
|
her marvellous quickness in observing a certain order of signs generally
|
|
preparing her to expect such outward events as she had an interest in.
|
|
Not that she now imagined Mr. Casaubon to be already an accepted
|
|
lover: she had only begun to feel disgust at the possibility that
|
|
anything in Dorothea's mind could tend towards such an issue.
|
|
Here was something really to vex her about Dodo: it was all very
|
|
well not to accept Sir James Chettam, but the idea of marrying
|
|
Mr. Casaubon! Celia felt a sort of shame mingled with a sense
|
|
of the ludicrous. But perhaps Dodo, if she were really bordering
|
|
on such an extravagance, might be turned away from it: experience
|
|
had often shown that her impressibility might be calculated on.
|
|
The day was damp, and they were not going to walk out, so they both
|
|
went up to their sitting-room; and there Celia observed that Dorothea,
|
|
instead of settling down with her usual diligent interest to
|
|
some occupation, simply leaned her elbow on an open book and looked
|
|
out of the window at the great cedar silvered with the damp.
|
|
She herself had taken up the making of a toy for the curate's children,
|
|
and was not going to enter on any subject too precipitately.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea was in fact thinking that it was desirable for Celia to know
|
|
of the momentous change in Mr. Casaubon's position since he had last
|
|
been in the house: it did not seem fair to leave her in ignorance
|
|
of what would necessarily affect her attitude towards him; but it was
|
|
impossible not to shrink from telling her. Dorothea accused herself
|
|
of some meanness in this timidity: it was always odious to her to
|
|
have any small fears or contrivances about her actions, but at this
|
|
moment she was seeking the highest aid possible that she might not
|
|
dread the corrosiveness of Celia's pretty carnally minded prose.
|
|
Her reverie was broken, and the difficulty of decision banished,
|
|
by Celia's small and rather guttural voice speaking in its usual tone,
|
|
of a remark aside or a "by the bye."
|
|
|
|
"Is any one else coming to dine besides Mr. Casaubon?"
|
|
|
|
"Not that I know of."
|
|
|
|
"I hope there is some one else. Then I shall not hear him eat
|
|
his soup so."
|
|
|
|
"What is there remarkable about his soup-eating?"
|
|
|
|
"Really, Dodo, can't you hear how he scrapes his spoon? And he
|
|
always blinks before he speaks. I don't know whether Locke blinked,
|
|
but I'm sure I am sorry for those who sat opposite to him if he did."
|
|
|
|
"Celia," said Dorothea, with emphatic gravity, "pray don't make
|
|
any more observations of that kind."
|
|
|
|
"Why not? They are quite true," returned Celia, who had her reasons
|
|
for persevering, though she was beginning to be a little afraid.
|
|
|
|
"Many things are true which only the commonest minds observe."
|
|
|
|
"Then I think the commonest minds must be rather useful.
|
|
I think it is a pity Mr. Casaubon's mother had not a commoner mind:
|
|
she might have taught him better." Celia was inwardly frightened,
|
|
and ready to run away, now she had hurled this light javelin.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea's feelings had gathered to an avalanche, and there could
|
|
be no further preparation.
|
|
|
|
"It is right to tell you, Celia, that I am engaged to marry
|
|
Mr. Casaubon."
|
|
|
|
Perhaps Celia had never turned so pale before. The paper man she
|
|
was making would have had his leg injured, but for her habitual
|
|
care of whatever she held in her hands. She laid the fragile
|
|
figure down at once, and sat perfectly still for a few moments.
|
|
When she spoke there was a tear gathering
|
|
|
|
"Oh, Dodo, I hope you will be happy." Her sisterly tenderness could
|
|
not but surmount other feelings at this moment, and her fears
|
|
were the fears of affection.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea was still hurt and agitated.
|
|
|
|
"It is quite decided, then?" said Celia, in an awed under tone.
|
|
"And uncle knows?"
|
|
|
|
"I have accepted Mr. Casaubon's offer. My uncle brought me
|
|
the letter that contained it; he knew about it beforehand."
|
|
|
|
"I beg your pardon, if I have said anything to hurt you, Dodo,"
|
|
said Celia, with a slight sob. She never could have thought
|
|
that she should feel as she did. There was something funereal
|
|
in the whole affair, and Mr. Casaubon seemed to be the officiating
|
|
clergyman, about whom it would be indecent to make remarks.
|
|
|
|
"Never mind, Kitty, do not grieve. We should never admire
|
|
the same people. I often offend in something of the same way;
|
|
I am apt to speak too strongly of those who don't please me."
|
|
|
|
In spite of this magnanimity Dorothea was still smarting: perhaps as
|
|
much from Celia's subdued astonishment as from her small criticisms.
|
|
Of course all the world round Tipton would be out of sympathy
|
|
with this marriage. Dorothea knew of no one who thought as she
|
|
did about life and its best objects.
|
|
|
|
Nevertheless before the evening was at an end she was very happy.
|
|
In an hour's tete-a-tete with Mr. Casaubon she talked to him
|
|
with more freedom than she had ever felt before, even pouring
|
|
out her joy at the thought of devoting herself to him, and of
|
|
learning how she might best share and further all his great ends.
|
|
Mr. Casaubon was touched with an unknown delight (what man would
|
|
not have been?) at this childlike unrestrained ardor: he was not
|
|
surprised (what lover would have been?) that he should be the object
|
|
of it.
|
|
|
|
"My dear young lady--Miss Brooke--Dorothea!" he said, pressing her
|
|
hand between his hands, "this is a happiness greater than I had ever
|
|
imagined to be in reserve for me. That I should ever meet with a
|
|
mind and person so rich in the mingled graces which could render
|
|
marriage desirable, was far indeed from my conception. You have
|
|
all--nay, more than all--those qualities which I have ever regarded
|
|
as the characteristic excellences of womanhood. The great charm
|
|
of your sex is its capability of an ardent self-sacrificing affection,
|
|
and herein we see its fitness to round and complete the existence
|
|
of our own. Hitherto I have known few pleasures save of the severer
|
|
kind: my satisfactions have been those of the solitary student.
|
|
I have been little disposed to gather flowers that would wither
|
|
in my hand, but now I shall pluck them with eagerness, to place
|
|
them in your bosom."
|
|
|
|
No speech could have been more thoroughly honest in its intention:
|
|
the frigid rhetoric at the end was as sincere as the bark of a dog,
|
|
or the cawing of an amorous rook. Would it not be rash to conclude
|
|
that there was no passion behind those sonnets to Delia which strike
|
|
us as the thin music of a mandolin?
|
|
|
|
Dorothea's faith supplied all that Mr. Casaubon's words seemed
|
|
to leave unsaid: what believer sees a disturbing omission or
|
|
infelicity? The text, whether of prophet or of poet, expands for
|
|
whatever we can put into it, and even his bad grammar is sublime.
|
|
|
|
"I am very ignorant--you will quite wonder at my ignorance,"
|
|
said Dorothea. "I have so many thoughts that may be quite mistaken;
|
|
and now I shall be able to tell them all to you, and ask you about them.
|
|
But," she added, with rapid imagination of Mr. Casaubon's probable feeling,
|
|
"I will not trouble you too much; only when you are inclined to
|
|
listen to me. You must often be weary with the pursuit of subjects
|
|
in your own track. I shall gain enough if you will take me with you there."
|
|
|
|
"How should I be able now to persevere in any path without
|
|
your companionship?" said Mr. Casaubon, kissing her candid brow,
|
|
and feeling that heaven had vouchsafed him a blessing in every way
|
|
suited to his peculiar wants. He was being unconsciously wrought
|
|
upon by the charms of a nature which was entirely without hidden
|
|
calculations either for immediate effects or for remoter ends.
|
|
It was this which made Dorothea so childlike, and, according to some
|
|
judges, so stupid, with all her reputed cleverness; as, for example,
|
|
in the present case of throwing herself, metaphorically speaking,
|
|
at Mr. Casaubon's feet, and kissing his unfashionable shoe-ties
|
|
as if he were a Protestant Pope. She was not in the least teaching
|
|
Mr. Casaubon to ask if he were good enough for her, but merely asking
|
|
herself anxiously how she could be good enough for Mr. Casaubon.
|
|
Before he left the next day it had been decided that the marriage
|
|
should take place within six weeks. Why not? Mr. Casaubon's house
|
|
was ready. It was not a parsonage, but a considerable mansion,
|
|
with much land attached to it. The parsonage was inhabited by
|
|
the curate, who did all the duty except preaching the morning sermon.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER VI.
|
|
|
|
|
|
My lady's tongue is like the meadow blades,
|
|
That cut you stroking them with idle hand.
|
|
Nice cutting is her function: she divides
|
|
With spiritual edge the millet-seed,
|
|
And makes intangible savings.
|
|
|
|
|
|
As Mr. Casaubon's carriage was passing out of the gateway,
|
|
it arrested the entrance of a pony phaeton driven by a lady with
|
|
a servant seated behind. It was doubtful whether the recognition
|
|
had been mutual, for Mr. Casaubon was looking absently before him;
|
|
but the lady was quick-eyed, and threw a nod and a "How do you do?"
|
|
in the nick of time. In spite of her shabby bonnet and very old
|
|
Indian shawl, it was plain that the lodge-keeper regarded her
|
|
as an important personage, from the low curtsy which was dropped
|
|
on the entrance of the small phaeton.
|
|
|
|
"Well, Mrs. Fitchett, how are your fowls laying now?" said the
|
|
high-colored, dark-eyed lady, with the clearest chiselled utterance.
|
|
|
|
"Pretty well for laying, madam, but they've ta'en to eating their
|
|
eggs: I've no peace o' mind with 'em at all."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, the cannibals! Better sell them cheap at once. What will
|
|
you sell them a couple? One can't eat fowls of a bad character
|
|
at a high price."
|
|
|
|
"Well, madam, half-a-crown: I couldn't let 'em go, not under."
|
|
|
|
"Half-a-crown, these times! Come now--for the Rector's chicken-broth
|
|
on a Sunday. He has consumed all ours that I can spare.
|
|
You are half paid with the sermon, Mrs. Fitchett, remember that.
|
|
Take a pair of tumbler-pigeons for them--little beauties. You must
|
|
come and see them. You have no tumblers among your pigeons."
|
|
|
|
"Well, madam, Master Fitchett shall go and see 'em after work.
|
|
He's very hot on new sorts; to oblige you."
|
|
|
|
"Oblige me! It will be the best bargain he ever made. A pair
|
|
of church pigeons for a couple of wicked Spanish fowls that eat
|
|
their own eggs! Don't you and Fitchett boast too much, that is all!"
|
|
|
|
The phaeton was driven onwards with the last words, leaving Mrs.
|
|
Fitchett laughing and shaking her head slowly, with an interjectional
|
|
"SureLY, sureLY!"--from which it might be inferred that she would
|
|
have found the country-side somewhat duller if the Rector's lady
|
|
had been less free-spoken and less of a skinflint. Indeed, both the
|
|
farmers and laborers in the parishes of Freshitt and Tipton
|
|
would have felt a sad lack of conversation but for the stories
|
|
about what Mrs. Cadwallader said and did: a lady of immeasurably
|
|
high birth, descended, as it were, from unknown earls, dim as the
|
|
crowd of heroic shades--who pleaded poverty, pared down prices,
|
|
and cut jokes in the most companionable manner, though with a turn
|
|
of tongue that let you know who she was. Such a lady gave a
|
|
neighborliness to both rank and religion, and mitigated the bitterness
|
|
of uncommuted tithe. A much more exemplary character with an infusion
|
|
of sour dignity would not have furthered their comprehension
|
|
of the Thirty-nine Articles, and would have been less socially uniting.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke, seeing Mrs. Cadwallader's merits from a different point
|
|
of view, winced a little when her name was announced in the library,
|
|
where he was sitting alone.
|
|
|
|
"I see you have had our Lowick Cicero here," she said, seating
|
|
herself comfortably, throwing back her wraps, and showing a thin
|
|
but well-built figure. "I suspect you and he are brewing some
|
|
bad polities, else you would not be seeing so much of the lively man.
|
|
I shall inform against you: remember you are both suspicious characters
|
|
since you took Peel's side about the Catholic Bill. I shall tell
|
|
everybody that you are going to put up for Middlemarch on the Whig
|
|
side when old Pinkerton resigns, and that Casaubon is going to help
|
|
you in an underhand manner: going to bribe the voters with pamphlets,
|
|
and throw open the public-houses to distribute them. Come, confess!"
|
|
|
|
"Nothing of the sort," said Mr. Brooke, smiling and rubbing his
|
|
eye-glasses, but really blushing a little at the impeachment.
|
|
"Casaubon and I don't talk politics much. He doesn't care much about
|
|
the philanthropic side of things; punishments, and that kind of thing.
|
|
He only cares about Church questions. That is not my line of action,
|
|
you know."
|
|
|
|
"Ra-a-ther too much, my friend. I have heard of your doings.
|
|
Who was it that sold his bit of land to the Papists at Middlemarch?
|
|
I believe you bought it on purpose. You are a perfect Guy Faux.
|
|
See if you are not burnt in effigy this 5th of November coming.
|
|
Humphrey would not come to quarrel with you about it, so I
|
|
am come."
|
|
|
|
"Very good. I was prepared to be persecuted for not persecuting--not
|
|
persecuting, you know."
|
|
|
|
"There you go! That is a piece of clap-trap you have got ready for
|
|
the hustings. Now, DO NOT let them lure you to the hustings,
|
|
my dear Mr. Brooke. A man always makes a fool of himself,
|
|
speechifying: there's no excuse but being on the right side,
|
|
so that you can ask a blessing on your humming and hawing.
|
|
You will lose yourself, I forewarn you. You will make a Saturday
|
|
pie of all parties' opinions, and be pelted by everybody."
|
|
|
|
"That is what I expect, you know," said Mr. Brooke, not wishing
|
|
to betray how little he enjoyed this prophetic sketch--"what I
|
|
expect as an independent man. As to the Whigs, a man who goes
|
|
with the thinkers is not likely to be hooked on by any party.
|
|
He may go with them up to a certain point--up to a certain point,
|
|
you know. But that is what you ladies never understand."
|
|
|
|
"Where your certain point is? No. I should like to be told how a man
|
|
can have any certain point when he belongs to no party--leading
|
|
a roving life, and never letting his friends know his address.
|
|
`Nobody knows where Brooke will be--there's no counting on Brooke'--that
|
|
is what people say of you, to be quite frank. Now, do turn respectable.
|
|
How will you like going to Sessions with everybody looking shy
|
|
on you, and you with a bad conscience and an empty pocket?"
|
|
|
|
"I don't pretend to argue with a lady on politics," said Mr. Brooke,
|
|
with an air of smiling indifference, but feeling rather unpleasantly
|
|
conscious that this attack of Mrs. Cadwallader's had opened the
|
|
defensive campaign to which certain rash steps had exposed him.
|
|
"Your sex are not thinkers, you know--varium et mutabile
|
|
semper--that kind of thing. You don't know Virgil. I knew"--Mr.
|
|
Brooke reflected in time that he had not had the personal acquaintance
|
|
of the Augustan poet--"I was going to say, poor Stoddart, you know.
|
|
That was what HE said. You ladies are always against an
|
|
independent attitude--a man's caring for nothing but truth,
|
|
and that sort of thing. And there is no part of the county where
|
|
opinion is narrower than it is here--I don't mean to throw stones,
|
|
you know, but somebody is wanted to take the independent line;
|
|
and if I don't take it, who will?"
|
|
|
|
"Who? Why, any upstart who has got neither blood nor position.
|
|
People of standing should consume their independent nonsense at home,
|
|
not hawk it about. And you! who are going to marry your niece,
|
|
as good as your daughter, to one of our best men. Sir James would
|
|
be cruelly annoyed: it will be too hard on him if you turn round now
|
|
and make yourself a Whig sign-board."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke again winced inwardly, for Dorothea's engagement had
|
|
no sooner been decided, than he had thought of Mrs. Cadwallader's
|
|
prospective taunts. It might have been easy for ignorant observers
|
|
to say, "Quarrel with Mrs. Cadwallader;" but where is a country
|
|
gentleman to go who quarrels with his oldest neighbors? Who could taste
|
|
the fine flavor in the name of Brooke if it were delivered casually,
|
|
like wine without a seal? Certainly a man can only be cosmopolitan
|
|
up to a certain point.
|
|
|
|
"I hope Chettam and I shall always be good friends; but I am sorry
|
|
to say there is no prospect of his marrying my niece," said Mr. Brooke,
|
|
much relieved to see through the window that Celia was coming in.
|
|
|
|
"Why not?" said Mrs. Cadwallader, with a sharp note of surprise.
|
|
"It is hardly a fortnight since you and I were talking about it."
|
|
|
|
"My niece has chosen another suitor--has chosen him, you know.
|
|
I have had nothing to do with it. I should have preferred Chettam;
|
|
and I should have said Chettam was the man any girl would have chosen.
|
|
But there is no accounting for these things. Your sex is capricious,
|
|
you know."
|
|
|
|
"Why, whom do you mean to say that you are going to let her marry?"
|
|
Mrs. Cadwallader's mind was rapidly surveying the possibilities
|
|
of choice for Dorothea.
|
|
|
|
But here Celia entered, blooming from a walk in the garden,
|
|
and the greeting with her delivered Mr. Brooke from the necessity
|
|
of answering immediately. He got up hastily, and saying, "By the way,
|
|
I must speak to Wright about the horses," shuffled quickly out
|
|
of the room.
|
|
|
|
"My dear child, what is this?--this about your sister's engagement?"
|
|
said Mrs. Cadwallader.
|
|
|
|
"She is engaged to marry Mr. Casaubon," said Celia, resorting, as usual,
|
|
to the simplest statement of fact, and enjoying this opportunity
|
|
of speaking to the Rector's wife alone.
|
|
|
|
"This is frightful. How long has it been going on?"
|
|
|
|
"I only knew of it yesterday. They are to be married in six weeks."
|
|
|
|
"Well, my dear, I wish you joy of your brother-in-law."
|
|
|
|
"I am so sorry for Dorothea."
|
|
|
|
"Sorry! It is her doing, I suppose."
|
|
|
|
"Yes; she says Mr. Casaubon has a great soul."
|
|
|
|
"With all my heart."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, Mrs. Cadwallader, I don't think it can be nice to marry a man
|
|
with a great soul."
|
|
|
|
"Well, my dear, take warning. You know the look of one now;
|
|
when the next comes and wants to marry you, don't you accept him."
|
|
|
|
"I'm sure I never should."
|
|
|
|
"No; one such in a family is enough. So your sister never cared
|
|
about Sir James Chettam? What would you have said to HIM
|
|
for a brother-in-law?"
|
|
|
|
"I should have liked that very much. I am sure he would have
|
|
been a good husband. Only," Celia added, with a slight blush
|
|
(she sometimes seemed to blush as she breathed), "I don't think
|
|
he would have suited Dorothea."
|
|
|
|
"Not high-flown enough?"
|
|
|
|
"Dodo is very strict. She thinks so much about everything,
|
|
and is so particular about what one says. Sir James never seemed
|
|
to please her."
|
|
|
|
"She must have encouraged him, I am sure. That is not very creditable."
|
|
|
|
"Please don't be angry with Dodo; she does not see things.
|
|
She thought so much about the cottages, and she was rude to Sir
|
|
James sometimes; but he is so kind, he never noticed it."
|
|
|
|
"Well," said Mrs. Cadwallader, putting on her shawl, and rising,
|
|
as if in haste, "I must go straight to Sir James and break this to him.
|
|
He will have brought his mother back by this time, and I must call.
|
|
Your uncle will never tell him. We are all disappointed, my dear.
|
|
Young people should think of their families in marrying. I set a bad
|
|
example--married a poor clergyman, and made myself a pitiable object
|
|
among the De Bracys--obliged to get my coals by stratagem, and pray
|
|
to heaven for my salad oil. However, Casaubon has money enough;
|
|
I must do him that justice. As to his blood, I suppose the family
|
|
quarterings are three cuttle-fish sable, and a commentator rampant.
|
|
By the bye, before I go, my dear, I must speak to your Mrs. Carter
|
|
about pastry. I want to send my young cook to learn of her.
|
|
Poor people with four children, like us, you know, can't afford to keep
|
|
a good cook. I have no doubt Mrs. Carter will oblige me. Sir James's
|
|
cook is a perfect dragon."
|
|
|
|
In less than an hour, Mrs. Cadwallader had circumvented Mrs. Carter
|
|
and driven to Freshitt Hall, which was not far from her own parsonage,
|
|
her husband being resident in Freshitt and keeping a curate in Tipton.
|
|
|
|
Sir James Chettam had returned from the short journey which had
|
|
kept him absent for a couple of days, and had changed his dress,
|
|
intending to ride over to Tipton Grange. His horse was standing at
|
|
the door when Mrs. Cadwallader drove up, and he immediately appeared
|
|
there himself, whip in hand. Lady Chettam had not yet returned,
|
|
but Mrs. Cadwallader's errand could not be despatched in the presence
|
|
of grooms, so she asked to be taken into the conservatory close by,
|
|
to look at the new plants; and on coming to a contemplative stand,
|
|
she said--
|
|
|
|
"I have a great shock for you; I hope you are not so far gone
|
|
in love as you pretended to be."
|
|
|
|
It was of no use protesting, against Mrs. Cadwallader's way of
|
|
putting things. But Sir James's countenance changed a little.
|
|
He felt a vague alarm.
|
|
|
|
"I do believe Brooke is going to expose himself after all. I accused
|
|
him of meaning to stand for Middlemarch on the Liberal side, and he
|
|
looked silly and never denied it--talked about the independent line,
|
|
and the usual nonsense."
|
|
|
|
"Is that all?" said Sir James, much relieved.
|
|
|
|
"Why," rejoined Mrs. Cadwallader, with a sharper note, "you don't
|
|
mean to say that you would like him to turn public man in that
|
|
way--making a sort of political Cheap Jack of himself?"
|
|
|
|
"He might be dissuaded, I should think. He would not like the expense."
|
|
|
|
"That is what I told him. He is vulnerable to reason there--always
|
|
a few grains of common-sense in an ounce of miserliness.
|
|
Miserliness is a capital quality to run in families; it's the safe
|
|
side for madness to dip on. And there must be a little crack
|
|
in the Brooke family, else we should not see what we are to see."
|
|
|
|
"What? Brooke standing for Middlemarch?"
|
|
|
|
"Worse than that. I really feel a little responsible. I always told
|
|
you Miss Brooke would be such a fine match. I knew there was a great
|
|
deal of nonsense in her--a flighty sort of Methodistical stuff.
|
|
But these things wear out of girls. However, I am taken by surprise
|
|
for once."
|
|
|
|
"What do you mean, Mrs. Cadwallader?" said Sir James. His fear lest
|
|
Miss Brooke should have run away to join the Moravian Brethren,
|
|
or some preposterous sect unknown to good society, was a little
|
|
allayed by the knowledge that Mrs. Cadwallader always made the worst
|
|
of things. "What has happened to Miss Brooke? Pray speak out."
|
|
|
|
"Very well. She is engaged to be married." Mrs. Cadwallader
|
|
paused a few moments, observing the deeply hurt expression in her
|
|
friend's face, which he was trying to conceal by a nervous smile,
|
|
while he whipped his boot; but she soon added, "Engaged to Casaubon."
|
|
|
|
Sir James let his whip fall and stooped to pick it up.
|
|
Perhaps his face had never before gathered so much concentrated
|
|
disgust as when he turned to Mrs. Cadwallader and repeated, "Casaubon?"
|
|
|
|
"Even so. You know my errand now."
|
|
|
|
"Good God! It is horrible! He is no better than a mummy!"
|
|
(The point of view has to be allowed for, as that of a blooming
|
|
and disappointed rival.)
|
|
|
|
"She says, he is a great soul.--A great bladder for dried peas
|
|
to rattle in!" said Mrs. Cadwallader.
|
|
|
|
"What business has an old bachelor like that to marry?" said Sir James.
|
|
"He has one foot in the grave."
|
|
|
|
"He means to draw it out again, I suppose."
|
|
|
|
"Brooke ought not to allow it: he should insist on its being put
|
|
off till she is of age. She would think better of it then.
|
|
What is a guardian for?"
|
|
|
|
"As if you could ever squeeze a resolution out of Brooke!"
|
|
|
|
"Cadwallader might talk to him."
|
|
|
|
"Not he! Humphrey finds everybody charming I never can get him
|
|
to abuse Casaubon. He will even speak well of the bishop, though I
|
|
tell him it is unnatural in a beneficed clergyman; what can one do
|
|
with a husband who attends so little to the decencies? I hide it
|
|
as well as I can by abusing everybody myself. Come, come, cheer up!
|
|
you are well rid of Miss Brooke, a girl who would have been requiring
|
|
you to see the stars by daylight. Between ourselves, little Celia
|
|
is worth two of her, and likely after all to be the better match.
|
|
For this marriage to Casaubon is as good as going to a nunnery."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, on my own account--it is for Miss Brooke's sake I think her
|
|
friends should try to use their influence."
|
|
|
|
"Well, Humphrey doesn't know yet. But when I tell him, you may
|
|
depend on it he will say, `Why not? Casaubon is a good fellow--and
|
|
young--young enough.' These charitable people never know vinegar from
|
|
wine till they have swallowed it and got the colic. However, if I
|
|
were a man I should prefer Celia, especially when Dorothea was gone.
|
|
The truth is, you have been courting one and have won the other.
|
|
I can see that she admires you almost as much as a man expects to
|
|
be admired. If it were any one but me who said so, you might think
|
|
it exaggeration. Good-by!"
|
|
|
|
Sir James handed Mrs. Cadwallader to the phaeton,
|
|
and then jumped on his horse. He was not going to renounce
|
|
his ride because of his friend's unpleasant news--only
|
|
to ride the faster in some other direction than that of Tipton Grange.
|
|
|
|
Now, why on earth should Mrs. Cadwallader have been at all busy
|
|
about Miss Brooke's marriage; and why, when one match that she
|
|
liked to think she had a hand in was frustrated, should she have
|
|
straightway contrived the preliminaries of another? Was there
|
|
any ingenious plot, any hide-and-seek course of action, which
|
|
might be detected by a careful telescopic watch? Not at all:
|
|
a telescope might have swept the parishes of Tipton and Freshitt,
|
|
the whole area visited by Mrs. Cadwallader in her phaeton,
|
|
without witnessing any interview that could excite suspicion,
|
|
or any scene from which she did not return with the same unperturbed
|
|
keenness of eye and the same high natural color. In fact, if that
|
|
convenient vehicle had existed in the days of the Seven Sages,
|
|
one of them would doubtless have remarked, that you can know little
|
|
of women by following them about in their pony-phaetons. Even
|
|
with a microscope directed on a water-drop we find ourselves making
|
|
interpretations which turn out to be rather coarse; for whereas
|
|
under a weak lens you may seem to see a creature exhibiting an active
|
|
voracity into which other smaller creatures actively play as if they
|
|
were so many animated tax-pennies, a stronger lens reveals to you
|
|
certain tiniest hairlets which make vortices for these victims
|
|
while the swallower waits passively at his receipt of custom.
|
|
In this way, metaphorically speaking, a strong lens applied to
|
|
Mrs. Cadwallader's match-making will show a play of minute causes
|
|
producing what may be called thought and speech vortices to bring
|
|
her the sort of food she needed. Her life was rurally simple,
|
|
quite free from secrets either foul, dangerous, or otherwise important,
|
|
and not consciously affected by the great affairs of the world.
|
|
All the more did the affairs of the great world interest her,
|
|
when communicated in the letters of high-born relations: the way
|
|
in which fascinating younger sons had gone to the dogs by marrying
|
|
their mistresses; the fine old-blooded idiocy of young Lord Tapir,
|
|
and the furious gouty humors of old Lord Megatherium; the exact
|
|
crossing of genealogies which had brought a coronet into a new branch
|
|
and widened the relations of scandal,--these were topics of which she
|
|
retained details with the utmost accuracy, and reproduced them in
|
|
an excellent pickle of epigrams, which she herself enjoyed the more
|
|
because she believed as unquestionably in birth and no-birth as she
|
|
did in game and vermin. She would never have disowned any one on the
|
|
ground of poverty: a De Bracy reduced to take his dinner in a basin
|
|
would have seemed to her an example of pathos worth exaggerating,
|
|
and I fear his aristocratic vices would not have horrified her.
|
|
But her feeling towards the vulgar rich was a sort of religious hatred:
|
|
they had probably made all their money out of high retail prices,
|
|
and Mrs. Cadwallader detested high prices for everything that was not
|
|
paid in kind at the Rectory: such people were no part of God's design
|
|
in making the world; and their accent was an affliction to the ears.
|
|
A town where such monsters abounded was hardly more than a sort
|
|
of low comedy, which could not be taken account of in a well-bred
|
|
scheme of the universe. Let any lady who is inclined to be hard
|
|
on Mrs. Cadwallader inquire into the comprehensiveness of her own
|
|
beautiful views, and be quite sure that they afford accommodation
|
|
for all the lives which have the honor to coexist with hers.
|
|
|
|
With such a mind, active as phosphorus, biting everything that came
|
|
near into the form that suited it, how could Mrs. Cadwallader feel
|
|
that the Miss Brookes and their matrimonial prospects were alien
|
|
to her? especially as it had been the habit of years for her to
|
|
scold Mr. Brooke with the friendliest frankness, and let him know
|
|
in confidence that she thought him a poor creature. From the first
|
|
arrival of the young ladies in Tipton she had prearranged Dorothea's
|
|
marriage with Sir James, and if it had taken place would have been
|
|
quite sure that it was her doing: that it should not take place
|
|
after she had preconceived it, caused her an irritation which every
|
|
thinker will sympathize with. She was the diplomatist of Tipton
|
|
and Freshitt, and for anything to happen in spite of her was an
|
|
offensive irregularity. As to freaks like this of Miss Brooke's,
|
|
Mrs. Cadwallader had no patience with them, and now saw that her
|
|
opinion of this girl had been infected with some of her husband's
|
|
weak charitableness: those Methodistical whims, that air of being
|
|
more religious than the rector and curate together, came from
|
|
a deeper and more constitutional disease than she had been willing to believe.
|
|
|
|
"However," said Mrs. Cadwallader, first to herself and afterwards
|
|
to her husband, "I throw her over: there was a chance, if she had
|
|
married Sir James, of her becoming a sane, sensible woman. He would
|
|
never have contradicted her, and when a woman is not contradicted,
|
|
she has no motive for obstinacy in her absurdities. But now I wish
|
|
her joy of her hair shirt."
|
|
|
|
It followed that Mrs. Cadwallader must decide on another match for
|
|
Sir James, and having made up her mind that it was to be the younger
|
|
Miss Brooke, there could not have been a more skilful move towards
|
|
the success of her plan than her hint to the baronet that he had made
|
|
an impression on Celia's heart. For he was not one of those gentlemen
|
|
who languish after the unattainable Sappho's apple that laughs
|
|
from the topmost bough--the charms which
|
|
|
|
"Smile like the knot of cowslips on the cliff,
|
|
Not to be come at by the willing hand."
|
|
|
|
He had no sonnets to write, and it could not strike him agreeably
|
|
that he was not an object of preference to the woman whom he
|
|
had preferred. Already the knowledge that Dorothea had chosen
|
|
Mr. Casaubon had bruised his attachment and relaxed its hold.
|
|
Although Sir James was a sportsman, he had some other feelings
|
|
towards women than towards grouse and foxes, and did not regard
|
|
his future wife in the light of prey, valuable chiefly for the
|
|
excitements of the chase. Neither was he so well acquainted
|
|
with the habits of primitive races as to feel that an ideal
|
|
combat for her, tomahawk in hand, so to speak, was necessary
|
|
to the historical continuity of the marriage-tie. On the contrary,
|
|
having the amiable vanity which knits us to those who are fond of us,
|
|
and disinclines us to those who are indifferent, and also a good
|
|
grateful nature, the mere idea that a woman had a kindness towards
|
|
him spun little threads of tenderness from out his heart towards hers.
|
|
|
|
Thus it happened, that after Sir James had ridden rather fast for
|
|
half an hour in a direction away from Tipton Grange, he slackened
|
|
his pace, and at last turned into a road which would lead him back
|
|
by a shorter cut. Various feelings wrought in him the determination
|
|
after all to go to the Grange to-day as if nothing new had happened.
|
|
He could not help rejoicing that he had never made the offer
|
|
and been rejected; mere friendly politeness required that he
|
|
should call to see Dorothea about the cottages, and now happily
|
|
Mrs. Cadwallader had prepared him to offer his congratulations,
|
|
if necessary, without showing too much awkwardness. He really
|
|
did not like it: giving up Dorothea was very painful to him;
|
|
but there was something in the resolve to make this visit forthwith
|
|
and conquer all show of feeling, which was a sort of file-biting and
|
|
counter-irritant. And without his distinctly recognizing the impulse,
|
|
there certainly was present in him the sense that Celia would be there,
|
|
and that he should pay her more attention than he had done before.
|
|
|
|
We mortals, men and women, devour many a disappointment between
|
|
breakfast and dinner-time; keep back the tears and look a little
|
|
pale about the lips, and in answer to inquiries say, "Oh, nothing!"
|
|
Pride helps us; and pride is not a bad thing when it only urges us
|
|
to hide our own hurts--not to hurt others.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER VII.
|
|
|
|
"Piacer e popone
|
|
Vuol la sua stagione."
|
|
--Italian Proverb.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon, as might be expected, spent a great deal of his time
|
|
at the Grange in these weeks, and the hindrance which courtship
|
|
occasioned to the progress of his great work--the Key to all
|
|
Mythologies--naturally made him look forward the more eagerly
|
|
to the happy termination of courtship. But he had deliberately
|
|
incurred the hindrance, having made up his mind that it was now time
|
|
for him to adorn his life with the graces of female companionship,
|
|
to irradiate the gloom which fatigue was apt to hang over the intervals
|
|
of studious labor with the play of female fancy, and to secure in this,
|
|
his culminating age, the solace of female tendance for his declining years.
|
|
Hence he determined to abandon himself to the stream of feeling,
|
|
and perhaps was surprised to find what an exceedingly shallow rill
|
|
it was. As in droughty regions baptism by immersion could only be
|
|
performed symbolically, Mr. Casaubon found that sprinkling was
|
|
the utmost approach to a plunge which his stream would afford him;
|
|
and he concluded that the poets had much exaggerated the force
|
|
of masculine passion. Nevertheless, he observed with pleasure that
|
|
Miss Brooke showed an ardent submissive affection which promised
|
|
to fulfil his most agreeable previsions of marriage. It had once
|
|
or twice crossed his mind that possibly there, was some deficiency
|
|
in Dorothea to account for the moderation of his abandonment;
|
|
but he was unable to discern the deficiency, or to figure to himself
|
|
a woman who would have pleased him better; so that there was clearly
|
|
no reason to fall back upon but the exaggerations of human tradition.
|
|
|
|
"Could I not be preparing myself now to be more useful?"
|
|
said Dorothea to him, one morning, early in the time of courtship;
|
|
"could I not learn to read Latin and Greek aloud to you, as Milton's
|
|
daughters did to their father, without understanding what they read?"
|
|
|
|
"I fear that would be wearisome to you," said Mr. Casaubon, smiling;
|
|
"and, indeed, if I remember rightly, the young women you have
|
|
mentioned regarded that exercise in unknown tongues as a ground
|
|
for rebellion against the poet."
|
|
|
|
"Yes; but in the first place they were very naughty girls, else they
|
|
would have been proud to minister to such a father; and in the second
|
|
place they might have studied privately and taught themselves to
|
|
understand what they read, and then it would have been interesting.
|
|
I hope you don't expect me to be naughty and stupid?"
|
|
|
|
"I expect you to be all that an exquisite young lady can be in every
|
|
possible relation of life. Certainly it might be a great advantage
|
|
if you were able to copy the Greek character, and to that end it
|
|
were well to begin with a little reading."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea seized this as a precious permission. She would not have
|
|
asked Mr. Casaubon at once to teach her the languages, dreading of all
|
|
things to be tiresome instead of helpful; but it was not entirely
|
|
out of devotion to her future husband that she wished to know Latin
|
|
and Creek. Those provinces of masculine knowledge seemed to her
|
|
a standing-ground from which all truth could be seen more truly.
|
|
As it was, she constantly doubted her own conclusions, because she
|
|
felt her own ignorance: how could she be confident that one-roomed
|
|
cottages were not for the glory of God, when men who knew the classics
|
|
appeared to conciliate indifference to the cottages with zeal
|
|
for the glory? Perhaps even Hebrew might be necessary--at least the
|
|
alphabet and a few roots--in order to arrive at the core of things,
|
|
and judge soundly on the social duties of the Christian. And she
|
|
had not reached that point of renunciation at which she would have
|
|
been satisfier' with having a wise husband: she wished, poor child,
|
|
to be wise herself. Miss Brooke was certainly very naive with al:
|
|
her alleged cleverness. Celia, whose mind had never been thought
|
|
too powerful, saw the emptiness of other people's pretensions much
|
|
more readily. To have in general but little feeling, seems to be
|
|
the only security against feeling too much on any particular occasion.
|
|
|
|
However, Mr. Casaubon consented to listen and teach for an hour together,
|
|
like a schoolmaster of little boys, or rather like a lover,
|
|
to whom a mistress's elementary ignorance and difficulties have
|
|
a touching fitness. Few scholars would have disliked teaching
|
|
the alphabet under such circumstances. But Dorothea herself
|
|
was a little shocked and discouraged at her own stupidity,
|
|
and the answers she got to some timid questions about the value
|
|
of the Greek accents gave her a painful suspicion that here indeed
|
|
there might be secrets not capable of explanation to a woman's reason.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke had no doubt on that point, and expressed himself with
|
|
his usual strength upon it one day that he came into the library
|
|
while the reading was going forward.
|
|
|
|
"Well, but now, Casaubon, such deep studies, classics, mathematics,
|
|
that kind of thing, are too taxing for a woman--too taxing, you know."
|
|
|
|
"Dorothea is learning to read the characters simply," said Mr. Casaubon,
|
|
evading the question. "She had the very considerate thought
|
|
of saving my eyes."
|
|
|
|
"Ah, well, without understanding, you know--that may not be so bad.
|
|
But there is a lightness about the feminine mind--a touch and go--music,
|
|
the fine arts, that kind of thing--they should study those up
|
|
to a certain point, women should; but in a light way, you know.
|
|
A woman should be able to sit down and play you or sing you a good old
|
|
English tune. That is what I like; though I have heard most things--been
|
|
at the opera in Vienna: Gluck, Mozart, everything of that sort.
|
|
But I'm a conservative in music--it's not like ideas, you know.
|
|
I stick to the good old tunes."
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Casaubon is not fond of the piano, and I am very glad he is not,"
|
|
said Dorothea, whose slight regard for domestic music and feminine
|
|
fine art must be forgiven her, considering the small tinkling
|
|
and smearing in which they chiefly consisted at that dark period.
|
|
She smiled and looked up at her betrothed with grateful eyes.
|
|
If he had always been asking her to play the "Last Rose of Summer,"
|
|
she would have required much resignation. "He says there is only an old
|
|
harpsichord at Lowick, and it is covered with books."
|
|
|
|
"Ah, there you are behind Celia, my dear. Celia, now,
|
|
plays very prettily, and is always ready to play. However,
|
|
since Casaubon does not like it, you are all right. But it's
|
|
a pity you should not have little recreations of that sort,
|
|
Casaubon: the bow always strung--that kind of thing, you know--will not do."
|
|
|
|
"I never could look on it in the light of a recreation to have my
|
|
ears teased with measured noises," said Mr. Casaubon. "A tune much
|
|
iterated has the ridiculous effect of making the words in my mind
|
|
perform a sort of minuet to keep time--an effect hardly tolerable,
|
|
I imagine, after boyhood. As to the grander forms of music,
|
|
worthy to accompany solemn celebrations, and even to serve as
|
|
an educating influence according to the ancient conception,
|
|
I say nothing, for with these we are not immediately concerned."
|
|
|
|
"No; but music of that sort I should enjoy," said Dorothea.
|
|
"When we were coming home from Lausanne my uncle took us to hear
|
|
the great organ at Freiberg, and it made me sob."
|
|
|
|
"That kind of thing is not healthy, my dear," said Mr. Brooke.
|
|
"Casaubon, she will be in your hands now: you must teach my niece
|
|
to take things more quietly, eh, Dorothea?"
|
|
|
|
He ended with a smile, not wishing to hurt his niece, but really
|
|
thinking that it was perhaps better for her to be early married
|
|
to so sober a fellow as Casaubon, since she would not hear of Chettam.
|
|
|
|
"It is wonderful, though," he said to himself as he shuffled out
|
|
of the room--"it is wonderful that she should have liked him.
|
|
However, the match is good. I should have been travelling out of my
|
|
brief to have hindered it, let Mrs. Cadwallader say what she will.
|
|
He is pretty certain to be a bishop, is Casaubon. That was a very
|
|
seasonable pamphlet of his on the Catholic Question:--a deanery
|
|
at least. They owe him a deanery."
|
|
|
|
And here I must vindicate a claim to philosophical reflectiveness,
|
|
by remarking that Mr. Brooke on this occasion little thought
|
|
of the Radical speech which, at a later period, he was led to make
|
|
on the incomes of the bishops. What elegant historian would
|
|
neglect a striking opportunity for pointing out that his heroes
|
|
did not foresee the history of the world, or even their own
|
|
actions?--For example, that Henry of Navarre, when a Protestant baby,
|
|
little thought of being a Catholic monarch; or that Alfred the Great,
|
|
when he measured his laborious nights with burning candles, had no
|
|
idea of future gentlemen measuring their idle days with watches.
|
|
Here is a mine of truth, which, however vigorously it may be worked,
|
|
is likely to outlast our coal.
|
|
|
|
But of Mr. Brooke I make a further remark perhaps less warranted
|
|
by precedent--namely, that if he had foreknown his speech,
|
|
it might not have made any great difference. To think with pleasure
|
|
of his niece's husband having a large ecclesiastical income was
|
|
one thing--to make a Liberal speech was another thing; and it is
|
|
a narrow mind which cannot look at a subject from various points of view.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER VIII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Oh, rescue her! I am her brother now,
|
|
And you her father. Every gentle maid
|
|
Should have a guardian in each gentleman."
|
|
|
|
|
|
It was wonderful to Sir James Chettam how well he continued to like
|
|
going to the Grange after he had once encountered the difficulty
|
|
of seeing Dorothea for the first time in the light of a woman who was
|
|
engaged to another man. Of course the forked lightning seemed to pass
|
|
through him when he first approached her, and he remained conscious
|
|
throughout the interview of hiding uneasiness; but, good as he was,
|
|
it must be owned that his uneasiness was less than it would have
|
|
been if he had thought his rival a brilliant and desirable match.
|
|
He had no sense of being eclipsed by Mr. Casaubon; he was only shocked
|
|
that Dorothea was under a melancholy illusion, and his mortification
|
|
lost some of its bitterness by being mingled with compassion.
|
|
|
|
Nevertheless, while Sir James said to himself that he had
|
|
completely resigned her, since with the perversity of a Desdemona
|
|
she had not affected a proposed match that was clearly suitable
|
|
and according to nature; he could not yet be quite passive under
|
|
the idea of her engagement to Mr. Casaubon. On the day when he
|
|
first saw them together in the light of his present knowledge,
|
|
it seemed to him that he had not taken the affair seriously enough.
|
|
Brooke was really culpable; he ought to have hindered it. Who could
|
|
speak to him? Something might be done perhaps even now, at least
|
|
to defer the marriage. On his way home he turned into the Rectory
|
|
and asked for Mr. Cadwallader. Happily, the Rector was at home,
|
|
and his visitor was shown into the study, where all the fishing
|
|
tackle hung. But he himself was in a little room adjoining,
|
|
at work with his turning apparatus, and he called to the baronet
|
|
to join him there. The two were better friends than any other
|
|
landholder and clergyman in the county--a significant fact
|
|
which was in agreement with the amiable expression of their faees.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Cadwallader was a large man, with full lips and a sweet smile;
|
|
very plain and rough in his exterior, but with that solid imperturbable
|
|
ease and good-humor which is infectious, and like great grassy hills
|
|
in the sunshine, quiets even an irritated egoism, and makes it
|
|
rather ashamed of itself. "Well, how are you?" he said, showing a
|
|
hand not quite fit to be grasped. "Sorry I missed you before.
|
|
Is there anything particular? You look vexed."
|
|
|
|
Sir James's brow had a little crease in it, a little depression
|
|
of the eyebrow, which he seemed purposely to exaggerate as he answered.
|
|
|
|
"It is only this conduct of Brooke's. I really think somebody
|
|
should speak to him."
|
|
|
|
"What? meaning to stand?" said Mr. Cadwallader, going on with
|
|
the arrangement of the reels which he had just been turning.
|
|
"I hardly think he means it. But where's the harm, if he likes it?
|
|
Any one who objects to Whiggery should be glad when the Whigs don't
|
|
put up the strongest fellow. They won't overturn the Constitution
|
|
with our friend Brooke's head for a battering ram."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I don't mean that," said Sir James, who, after putting down
|
|
his hat and throwing himself into a chair, had begun to nurse
|
|
his leg and examine the sole of his boot with much bitterness.
|
|
"I mean this marriage. I mean his letting that blooming young girl
|
|
marry Casaubon."
|
|
|
|
"What is the matter with Casaubon? I see no harm in him--if the girl
|
|
likes him."
|
|
|
|
"She is too young to know what she likes. Her guardian ought
|
|
to interfere. He ought not to allow the thing to be done in this
|
|
headlong manner. I wonder a man like you, Cadwallader--a man
|
|
with daughters, can look at the affair with indifference:
|
|
and with such a heart as yours! Do think seriously about it."
|
|
|
|
"I am not joking; I am as serious as possible," said the Rector,
|
|
with a provoking little inward laugh. "You are as bad as Elinor.
|
|
She has been wanting me to go and lecture Brooke; and I have reminded
|
|
her that her friends had a very poor opinion of the match she made
|
|
when she married me."
|
|
|
|
"But look at Casaubon," said Sir James, indignantly. "He must
|
|
be fifty, and I don't believe he could ever have been much more
|
|
than the shadow of a man. Look at his legs!"
|
|
|
|
"Confound you handsome young fellows! you think of having it
|
|
all your own way in the world. Tou don't under stand women.
|
|
They don't admire you half so much as you admire yourselves.
|
|
Elinor used to tell her sisters that she married me for my ugliness--it
|
|
was so various and amusing that it had quite conquered her prudence."
|
|
|
|
"You! it was easy enough for a woman to love you. But this is no
|
|
question of beauty. I don't LIKE Casaubon." This was Sir James's
|
|
strongest way of implying that he thought ill of a man's character.
|
|
|
|
"Why? what do you know against him?" said the Rector laying down
|
|
his reels, and putting his thumbs into his armholes with an air
|
|
of attention.
|
|
|
|
Sir James paused. He did not usually find it easy to give his
|
|
reasons: it seemed to him strange that people should not know
|
|
them without being told, since he only felt what was reasonable.
|
|
At last he said--
|
|
|
|
"Now, Cadwallader, has he got any heart?"
|
|
|
|
"Well, yes. I don't mean of the melting sort, but a sound kernel,
|
|
THAT you may be sure of. He is very good to his poor relations:
|
|
pensions several of the women, and is educating a young fellow at
|
|
a good deal of expense. Casaubon acts up to his sense of justice.
|
|
His mother's sister made a bad match--a Pole, I think--lost herself--at
|
|
any rate was disowned by her family. If it had not been for that,
|
|
Casaubon would not have had so much money by half. I believe he went
|
|
himself to find out his cousins, and see what he could do for them.
|
|
Every man would not ring so well as that, if you tried his metal.
|
|
YOU would, Chettam; but not every man."
|
|
|
|
"I don't know," said Sir James, coloring. "I am not so sure of myself."
|
|
He paused a moment, and then added, "That was a right thing for
|
|
Casaubon to do. But a man may wish to do what is right, and yet
|
|
be a sort of parchment code. A woman may not be happy with him.
|
|
And I think when a girl is so young as Miss Brooke is, her friends
|
|
ought to interfere a little to hinder her from doing anything foolish.
|
|
You laugh, because you fancy I have some feeling on my own account.
|
|
But upon my honor, it is not that. I should feel just the same if I
|
|
were Miss Brooke's brother or uncle."
|
|
|
|
"Well, but what should you do?"
|
|
|
|
"I should say that the marriage must not be decided on until she was
|
|
of age. And depend upon it, in that case, it would never come off.
|
|
I wish you saw it as I do--I wish you would talk to Brooke about it."
|
|
|
|
Sir James rose as he was finishing his sentence, for he saw
|
|
Mrs. Cadwallader entering from the study. She held by the hand her
|
|
youngest girl, about five years old, who immediately ran to papa,
|
|
and was made comfortable on his knee.
|
|
|
|
"I hear what you are talking about," said the wife. "But you
|
|
will make no impression on Humphrey. As long as the fish rise
|
|
to his bait, everybody is what he ought to be. Bless you,
|
|
Casaubon has got a trout-stream, and does not care about fishing
|
|
in it himself: could there be a better fellow?"
|
|
|
|
"Well, there is something in that," said the Rector, with his quiet,
|
|
inward laugh. "It is a very good quality in a man to have
|
|
a trout-stream."
|
|
|
|
"But seriously," said Sir James, whose vexation had not yet spent itself,
|
|
"don't you think the Rector might do some good by speaking?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I told you beforehand what he would say," answered Mrs. Cadwallader,
|
|
lifting up her eyebrows. "I have done what I could: I wash
|
|
my hands of the marriage."
|
|
|
|
"In the first place," said the Rector, looking rather grave,
|
|
"it would be nonsensical to expect that I could convince Brooke,
|
|
and make him act accordingly. Brooke is a very good fellow, but pulpy;
|
|
he will run into any mould, but he won't keep shape."
|
|
|
|
"He might keep shape long enough to defer the marriage," said Sir James.
|
|
|
|
"But, my dear Chettam, why should I use my influence to Casaubon's
|
|
disadvantage, unless I were much surer than I am that I should be
|
|
acting for the advantage of Miss Brooke? I know no harm of Casaubon.
|
|
I don't care about his Xisuthrus and Fee-fo-fum and the rest;
|
|
but then he doesn't care about my fishing-tackle. As to the line he
|
|
took on the Catholic Question, that was unexpected; but he has always
|
|
been civil to me, and I don't see why I should spoil his sport.
|
|
For anything I can tell, Miss Brooke may be happier with him than
|
|
she would be with any other man."
|
|
|
|
"Humphrey! I have no patience with you. You know you would rather
|
|
dine under the hedge than with Casaubon alone. You have nothing
|
|
to say to each other."
|
|
|
|
"What has that to do with Miss Brooke's marrying him? She does
|
|
not do it for my amusement."
|
|
|
|
"He has got no good red blood in his body," said Sir James.
|
|
|
|
"No. Somebody put a drop under a magnifying-glass and it was all
|
|
semicolons and parentheses," said Mrs. Cadwallader.
|
|
|
|
"Why does he not bring out his book, instead of marrying,"
|
|
said Sir James, with a disgust which he held warranted by the sound
|
|
feeling of an English layman.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, he dreams footnotes, and they run away with all his brains.
|
|
They say, when he was a little boy, he made an abstract of
|
|
`Hop o' my Thumb,' and he has been making abstracts ever since.
|
|
Ugh! And that is the man Humphrey goes on saying that a woman may be
|
|
happy with."
|
|
|
|
"Well, he is what Miss Brooke likes," said the Rector. "I don't
|
|
profess to understand every young lady's taste."
|
|
|
|
"But if she were your own daughter?" said Sir James.
|
|
|
|
"That would be a different affair. She is NOT my daughter,
|
|
and I don't feel called upon to interfere. Casaubon is as good
|
|
as most of us. He is a scholarly clergyman, and creditable to
|
|
the cloth. Some Radical fellow speechifying at Middlemarch said
|
|
Casaubon was the learned straw-chopping incumbent, and Freke was
|
|
the brick-and-mortar incumbent, and I was the angling incumbent.
|
|
And upon my word, I don't see that one is worse or better than
|
|
the other." The Rector ended with his silent laugh. He always saw
|
|
the joke of any satire against himself. His conscience was large
|
|
and easy, like the rest of him: it did only what it could do without
|
|
any trouble.
|
|
|
|
Clearly, there would be no interference with Miss Brooke's
|
|
marriage through Mr. Cadwallader; and Sir James felt with some
|
|
sadness that she was to have perfect liberty of misjudgment.
|
|
It was a sign of his good disposition that he did not slacken
|
|
at all in his intention of carrying out Dorothea's de.
|
|
sign of the cottages. Doubtless this persistence was the best
|
|
course for his own dignity: but pride only helps us to be generous;
|
|
it never makes us so, any more than vanity makes us witty.
|
|
She was now enough aware of Sir James's position with regard to her,
|
|
to appreciate the rectitude of his perseverance in a landlord's duty,
|
|
to which he had at first been urged by a lover's complaisance,
|
|
and her pleasure in it was great enough to count for something
|
|
even in her present happiness. Per. haps she gave to Sir James
|
|
Chettam's cottages all the interest she could spare from Mr. Casaubon,
|
|
or rather from the symphony of hopeful dreams, admiring trust,
|
|
and passionate self devotion which that learned gentleman had set
|
|
playing in her soul. Hence it happened that in the good baronet's
|
|
succeed ing visits, while he was beginning to pay small attentions
|
|
to Celia, he found himself talking with more and more pleasure
|
|
to Dorothea. She was perfectly unconstrained and without irritation
|
|
towards him now, and he was gradually discovering the delight there
|
|
is in frank kindness and companionship between a man and a woman
|
|
who have no passion to hide or confess.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER IX.
|
|
|
|
1st Gent. An ancient land in ancient oracles
|
|
Is called "law-thirsty": all the struggle there
|
|
Was after order and a perfect rule.
|
|
Pray, where lie such lands now? . . .
|
|
2d Gent. Why, where they lay of old--in human souls.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon's behavior about settlements was highly satisfactory
|
|
to Mr. Brooke, and the preliminaries of marriage rolled smoothly along,
|
|
shortening the weeks of courtship. The betrothed bride must see
|
|
her future home, and dictate any changes that she would like to have
|
|
made there. A woman dictates before marriage in order that she
|
|
may have an appetite for submission afterwards. And certainly,
|
|
the mistakes that we male and female mortals make when we have our
|
|
own way might fairly raise some wonder that we are so fond of it.
|
|
|
|
On a gray but dry November morning Dorothea drove to Lowick
|
|
in company with her uncle and Celia. Mr. Casaubon's home was
|
|
the manor-house. Close by, visible from some parts of the garden,
|
|
was the little church, with the old parsonage opposite.
|
|
In the beginning of his career, Mr. Casaubon had only held
|
|
the living, but the death of his brother had put him in possession
|
|
of the manor also. It had a small park, with a fine old oak here
|
|
and there, and an avenue of limes towards the southwest front,
|
|
with a sunk fence between park and pleasure-ground, so that from the
|
|
drawing-room windows the glance swept uninterruptedly along a slope
|
|
of greensward till the limes ended in a level of corn and pastures,
|
|
which often seemed to melt into a lake under the setting sun.
|
|
This was the happy side of the house, for the south and east looked
|
|
rather melancholy even under the brightest morning. The grounds here
|
|
were more confined, the flower-beds showed no very careful tendance,
|
|
and large clumps of trees, chiefly of sombre yews, had risen high,
|
|
not ten yards from the windows. The building, of greenish stone,
|
|
was in the old English style, not ugly, but small-windowed and
|
|
melancholy-looking: the sort of house that must have children,
|
|
many flowers, open windows, and little vistas of bright things,
|
|
to make it seem a joyous home. In this latter end of autumn,
|
|
with a sparse remnant of yellow leaves falling slowly athwart the dark
|
|
evergreens in a stillness without sunshine, the house too had an air
|
|
of autumnal decline, and Mr. Casaubon, when he presented himself,
|
|
had no bloom that could be thrown into relief by that background.
|
|
|
|
"Oh dear!" Celia said to herself, "I am sure Freshitt Hall would
|
|
have been pleasanter than this." She thought of the white freestone,
|
|
the pillared portico, and the terrace full of flowers, Sir James
|
|
smiling above them like a prince issuing from his enchantment
|
|
in a rose-bush, with a handkerchief swiftly metamorphosed
|
|
from the most delicately odorous petals--Sir James, who talked
|
|
so agreeably, always about things which had common-sense in them,
|
|
and not about learning! Celia had those light young feminine tastes
|
|
which grave and weatherworn gentlemen sometimes prefer in a wife;
|
|
but happily Mr. Casaubon's bias had been different, for he would
|
|
have had no chance with Celia.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea, on the contrary, found the house and grounds all
|
|
that she could wish: the dark book-shelves in the long library,
|
|
the carpets and curtains with colors subdued by time, the curious
|
|
old maps and bird's-eye views on the walls of the corridor,
|
|
with here and there an old vase below, had no oppression for her,
|
|
and seemed more cheerful than the easts and pictures at the Grange,
|
|
which her uncle had long ago brought home from his travels--they
|
|
being probably among the ideas he had taken in at one time.
|
|
To poor Dorothea these severe classical nudities and smirking
|
|
Renaissance-Correggiosities were painfully inexplicable, staring into
|
|
the midst of her Puritanic conceptions: she had never been taught
|
|
how she could bring them into any sort of relevance with her life.
|
|
But the owners of Lowick apparently had not been travellers,
|
|
and Mr. Casaubon's studies of the past were not carried on by means
|
|
of such aids.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea walked about the house with delightful emotion.
|
|
Everything seemed hallowed to her: this was to be the home
|
|
of her wifehood, and she looked up with eyes full of confidence
|
|
to Mr. Casaubon when he drew her attention specially to some
|
|
actual arrangement and asked her if she would like an alteration.
|
|
All appeals to her taste she met gratefully, but saw nothing to alter.
|
|
His efforts at exact courtesy and formal tenderness had no defect
|
|
for her. She filled up all blanks with unmanifested perfections,
|
|
interpreting him as she interpreted the works of Providence,
|
|
and accounting for seeming discords by her own deafness to the
|
|
higher harmonies. And there are many blanks left in the weeks
|
|
of courtship which a loving faith fills with happy assurance.
|
|
|
|
"Now, my dear Dorothea, I wish you to favor me by pointing out which
|
|
room you would like to have as your boudoir," said Mr. Casaubon,
|
|
showing that his views of the womanly nature were sufficiently
|
|
large to include that requirement.
|
|
|
|
"It is very kind of you to think of that," said Dorothea, "but I
|
|
assure you I would rather have all those matters decided for me.
|
|
I shall be much happier to take everything as it is--just as you
|
|
have been used to have it, or as you will yourself choose it to be.
|
|
I have no motive for wishing anything else."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, Dodo," said Celia, "will you not have the bow-windowed
|
|
room up-stairs?"
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon led the way thither. The bow-window looked down the
|
|
avenue of limes; the furniture was all of a faded blue, and there
|
|
were miniatures of ladies and gentlemen with powdered hair hanging
|
|
in a group. A piece of tapestry over a door also showed a blue-green
|
|
world with a pale stag in it. The chairs and tables were thin-legged
|
|
and easy to upset. It was a room where one might fancy the ghost
|
|
of a tight-laced lady revisiting the scene of her embroidery.
|
|
A light bookcase contained duodecimo volumes of polite literature
|
|
in calf, completing the furniture.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Mr. Brooke, "this would be a pretty room with some
|
|
new hangings, sofas, and that sort of thing. A little bare now."
|
|
|
|
"No, uncle," said Dorothea, eagerly. "Pray do not speak of
|
|
altering anything. There are so many other things in the world
|
|
that want altering--I like to take these things as they are.
|
|
And you like them as they are, don't you?" she added, looking at
|
|
Mr. Casaubon. "Perhaps this was your mother's room when she was young."
|
|
|
|
"It was," he said, with his slow bend of the head.
|
|
|
|
"This is your mother," said Dorothea, who had turned to examine
|
|
the group of miniatures. "It is like the tiny one you brought me;
|
|
only, I should think, a better portrait. And this one opposite,
|
|
who is this?"
|
|
|
|
"Her elder sister. They were, like you and your sister, the only
|
|
two children of their parents, who hang above them, you see."
|
|
|
|
"The sister is pretty," said Celia, implying that she thought
|
|
less favorably of Mr. Casaubon's mother. It was a new open ing
|
|
to Celia's imagination, that he came of a family who had all been
|
|
young in their time--the ladies wearing necklaces.
|
|
|
|
"It is a peculiar face," said Dorothea, looking closely. "Those deep
|
|
gray eyes rather near together--and the delicate irregular nose with
|
|
a sort of ripple in it--and all the powdered curls hanging backward.
|
|
Altogether it seems to me peculiar rather than pretty. There is
|
|
not even a family likeness between her and your mother."
|
|
|
|
"No. And they were not alike in their lot."
|
|
|
|
"You did not mention her to me," said Dorothea.
|
|
|
|
"My aunt made an unfortunate marriage. I never saw her."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea wondered a little, but felt that it would be indelicate just
|
|
then to ask for any information which Mr. Casaubon did not proffer,
|
|
and she turned to the window to admire the view. The sun had lately
|
|
pierced the gray, and the avenue of limes cast shadows.
|
|
|
|
"Shall we not walk in the garden now?" said Dorothea.
|
|
|
|
"And you would like to see the church, you know," said Mr. Brooke.
|
|
"It is a droll little church. And the village. It all lies in a
|
|
nut-shell. By the way, it will suit you, Dorothea; for the cottages
|
|
are like a row of alms-houses--little gardens, gilly-flowers, that
|
|
sort of thing."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, please," said Dorothea, looking at Mr. Casaubon, "I should
|
|
like to see all that." She had got nothing from him more graphic
|
|
about the Lowick cottages than that they were "not bad."
|
|
|
|
They were soon on a gravel walk which led chiefly between grassy
|
|
borders and clumps of trees, this being the nearest way to the church,
|
|
Mr. Casaubon said. At the little gate leading into the churchyard
|
|
there was a pause while Mr. Casaubon went to the parsonage close
|
|
by to fetch a key. Celia, who had been hanging a little in the rear,
|
|
came up presently, when she saw that Mr. Casaubon was gone away,
|
|
and said in her easy staccato, which always seemed to contradict
|
|
the suspicion of any malicious intent--
|
|
|
|
"Do you know, Dorothea, I saw some one quite young coming up one
|
|
of the walks."
|
|
|
|
"Is that astonishing, Celia?"
|
|
|
|
"There may be a young gardener, you know--why not?" said Mr. Brooke.
|
|
"I told Casaubon he should change his gardener."
|
|
|
|
"No, not a gardener," said Celia; "a gentleman with a sketch-book. He
|
|
had light-brown curls. I only saw his back. But he was quite young."
|
|
|
|
"The curate's son, perhaps," said Mr. Brooke. "Ah, there is
|
|
Casaubon again, and Tucker with him. He is going to introduce Tucker.
|
|
You don't know Tucker yet."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Tucker was the middle-aged curate, one of the "inferior clergy,"
|
|
who are usually not wanting in sons. But after the introduction,
|
|
the conversation did not lead to any question about his family,
|
|
and the startling apparition of youthfulness was forgotten by every
|
|
one but Celia. She inwardly declined to believe that the light-brown
|
|
curls and slim figure could have any relationship to Mr. Tucker,
|
|
who was just as old and musty-looking as she would have expected
|
|
Mr. Casaubon's curate to be; doubtless an excellent man who would go
|
|
to heaven (for Celia wished not to be unprincipled), but the corners
|
|
of his mouth were so unpleasant. Celia thought with some dismalness
|
|
of the time she should have to spend as bridesmaid at Lowick, while the
|
|
curate had probably no pretty little children whom she could like,
|
|
irrespective of principle.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Tucker was invaluable in their walk; and perhaps Mr. Casaubon
|
|
had not been without foresight on this head, the curate being able
|
|
to answer all Dorothea's questions about the villagers and the
|
|
other parishioners. Everybody, he assured her, was well off in Lowick:
|
|
not a cottager in those double cottages at a low rent but kept a pig,
|
|
and the strips of garden at the back were well tended. The small
|
|
boys wore excellent corduroy, the girls went out as tidy servants,
|
|
or did a little straw-plaiting at home: no looms here, no Dissent;
|
|
and though the public disposition was rather towards laying
|
|
by money than towards spirituality, there was not much vice.
|
|
The speckled fowls were so numerous that Mr. Brooke observed,
|
|
"Your farmers leave some barley for the women to glean, I see.
|
|
The poor folks here might have a fowl in their pot, as the good French
|
|
king used to wish for all his people. The French eat a good many
|
|
fowls--skinny fowls, you know."
|
|
|
|
"I think it was a very cheap wish of his," said Dorothea, indignantly.
|
|
"Are kings such monsters that a wish like that must be reckoned
|
|
a royal virtue?"
|
|
|
|
"And if he wished them a skinny fowl," said Celia, "that would
|
|
not be nice. But perhaps he wished them to have fat fowls."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, but the word has dropped out of the text, or perhaps was
|
|
subauditum; that is, present in the king's mind, but not uttered,"
|
|
said Mr. Casaubon, smiling and bending his head towards Celia,
|
|
who immediately dropped backward a little, because she could not bear
|
|
Mr. Casaubon to blink at her.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea sank into silence on the way back to the house. She felt
|
|
some disappointment, of which she was yet ashamed, that there was
|
|
nothing for her to do in Lowick; and in the next few minutes her mind
|
|
had glanced over the possibility, which she would have preferred,
|
|
of finding that her home would be in a parish which had a larger
|
|
share of the world's misery, so that she might have had more active
|
|
duties in it. Then, recurring to the future actually before her,
|
|
she made a picture of more complete devotion to Mr. Casaubon's
|
|
aims in which she would await new duties. Many such might reveal
|
|
themselves to the higher knowledge gained by her in that companionship.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Tucker soon left them, having some clerical work which would
|
|
not allow him to lunch at the Hall; and as they were re-entering
|
|
the garden through the little gate, Mr. Casaubon said--
|
|
|
|
"You seem a little sad, Dorothea. I trust you are pleased with
|
|
what you have seen."
|
|
|
|
"I am feeling something which is perhaps foolish and wrong,"
|
|
answered Dorothea, with her usual openness--"almost wishing that
|
|
the people wanted more to be done for them here. I have known
|
|
so few ways of making my life good for anything. Of course,
|
|
my notions of usefulness must be narrow. I must learn new ways
|
|
of helping people."
|
|
|
|
"Doubtless," said Mr. Casaubon. "Each position has its
|
|
corresponding duties. Yours, I trust, as the mistress of Lowick,
|
|
will not leave any yearning unfulfilled."
|
|
|
|
"Indeed, I believe that," said Dorothea, earnestly. "Do not suppose
|
|
that I am sad."
|
|
|
|
"That is well. But, if you are not tired, we will take another way
|
|
to the house than that by which we came."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea was not at all tired, and a little circuit was made
|
|
towards a fine yew-tree, the chief hereditary glory of the grounds
|
|
on this side of the house. As they approached it, a figure,
|
|
conspicuous on a dark background of evergreens, was seated on
|
|
a bench, sketching the old tree. Mr. Brooke, who was walking
|
|
in front with Celia, turned his head, and said--
|
|
|
|
"Who is that youngster, Casaubon?"
|
|
|
|
They had come very near when Mr. Casaubon answered--
|
|
|
|
"That is a young relative of mine, a second cousin: the grandson,
|
|
in fact," he added, looking at Dorothea, "of the lady whose portrait
|
|
you have been noticing, my aunt Julia."
|
|
|
|
The young man had laid down his sketch-book and risen. His bushy
|
|
light-brown curls, as well as his youthfulness, identified him
|
|
at once with Celia's apparition.
|
|
|
|
"Dorothea, let me introduce to you my cousin, Mr. Ladislaw.
|
|
Will, this is Miss Brooke."
|
|
|
|
The cousin was so close now, that, when he lifted his hat,
|
|
Dorothea could see a pair of gray eves rather near together,
|
|
a delicate irregular nose with a little ripple in it, and hair
|
|
falling backward; but there was a mouth and chin of a more prominent,
|
|
threatening aspect than belonged to the type of the grandmother's
|
|
miniature. Young Ladislaw did not feel it necessary to smile,
|
|
as if he were charmed with this introduction to his future second
|
|
cousin and her relatives; but wore rather a pouting air of discontent.
|
|
|
|
"You are an artist, I see," said Mr. Brooke, taking up the sketch-book
|
|
and turning it over in his unceremonious fashion.
|
|
|
|
"No, I only sketch a little. There is nothing fit to be seen there,"
|
|
said young Ladislaw, coloring, perhaps with temper rather than modesty.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, come, this is a nice bit, now. I did a little in this way
|
|
myself at one time, you know. Look here, now; this is what I
|
|
call a nice thing, done with what we used to call BRIO."
|
|
Mr. Brooke held out towards the two girls a large colored sketch
|
|
of stony ground and trees, with a pool.
|
|
|
|
"I am no judge of these things," said Dorothea, not coldly, but with
|
|
an eager deprecation of the appeal to her. "You know, uncle, I never
|
|
see the beauty of those pictures which you say are so much praised.
|
|
They are a language I do not understand. I suppose there is some
|
|
relation between pictures and nature which I am too ignorant to
|
|
feel--just as you see what a Greek sentence stands for which means
|
|
nothing to me." Dorothea looked up at Mr. Casaubon, who bowed
|
|
his head towards her, while Mr. Brooke said, smiling nonchalantly--
|
|
|
|
"Bless me, now, how different people are! But you had a bad style
|
|
of teaching, you know--else this is just the thing for girls--sketching,
|
|
fine art and so on. But you took to drawing plans; you don't
|
|
understand morbidezza, and that kind of thing. You will come
|
|
to my house, I hope, and I will show you what I did in this way,"
|
|
he continued, turning to young Ladislaw, who had to be recalled
|
|
from his preoccupation in observing Dorothea. Ladislaw had made up
|
|
his mind that she must be an unpleasant girl, since she was going
|
|
to marry Casaubon, and what she said of her stupidity about pictures
|
|
would have confirmed that opinion even if he had believed her.
|
|
As it was, he took her words for a covert judgment, and was certain
|
|
that she thought his sketch detestable. There was too much cleverness
|
|
in her apology: she was laughing both at her uncle and himself.
|
|
But what a voice! It was like the voice of a soul that had once lived
|
|
in an AEolian harp. This must be one of Nature's inconsistencies.
|
|
There could be no sort of passion in a girl who would marry Casaubon.
|
|
But he turned from her, and bowed his thanks for Mr. Brooke's invitation.
|
|
|
|
"We will turn over my Italian engravings together," continued that
|
|
good-natured man. "I have no end of those things, that I have laid
|
|
by for years. One gets rusty in this part of the country, you know.
|
|
Not you, Casaubon; you stick to your studies; but my best ideas
|
|
get undermost--out of use, you know. You clever young men must
|
|
guard against indolence. I was too indolent, you know: else I
|
|
might have been anywhere at one time."
|
|
|
|
"That is a seasonable admonition," said Mr. Casaubon; "but now we
|
|
will pass on to the house, lest the young ladies should be tired
|
|
of standing."
|
|
|
|
When their backs were turned, young Ladislaw sat down to go
|
|
on with his sketching, and as he did so his face broke into an
|
|
expression of amusement which increased as he went on drawing,
|
|
till at last he threw back his head and laughed aloud. Partly it
|
|
was the reception of his own artistic production that tickled him;
|
|
partly the notion of his grave cousin as the lover of that girl;
|
|
and partly Mr. Brooke's definition of the place he might have
|
|
held but for the impediment of indolence. Mr. Will Ladislaw's
|
|
sense of the ludicrous lit up his features very agreeably: it was
|
|
the pure enjoyment of comicality, and had no mixture of sneering
|
|
and self-exaltation.
|
|
|
|
"What is your nephew going to do with himself, Casaubon?"
|
|
said Mr. Brooke, as they went on.
|
|
|
|
"My cousin, you mean--not my nephew."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, yes, cousin. But in the way of a career, you know."
|
|
|
|
"The answer to that question is painfully doubtful. On leaving Rugby
|
|
he declined to go to an English university, where I would gladly
|
|
have placed him, and chose what I must consider the anomalous course
|
|
of studying at Heidelberg. And now he wants to go abroad again,
|
|
without any special object, save the vague purpose of what he
|
|
calls culture, preparation for he knows not what. He declines
|
|
to choose a profession."
|
|
|
|
"He has no means but what you furnish, I suppose."
|
|
|
|
"I have always given him and his friends reason to understand
|
|
that I would furnish in moderation what was necessary for providing
|
|
him with a scholarly education, and launching him respectably.
|
|
I am-therefore bound to fulfil the expectation so raised,"
|
|
said Mr. Casaubon, putting his conduct in the light of mere rectitude:
|
|
a trait of delicacy which Dorothea noticed with admiration.
|
|
|
|
"He has a thirst for travelling; perhaps he may turn out a Bruce
|
|
or a Mungo Park," said Mr. Brooke. "I had a notion of that myself
|
|
at one time."
|
|
|
|
"No, he has no bent towards exploration, or the enlargement
|
|
of our geognosis: that would be a special purpose which I could
|
|
recognize with some approbation, though without felicitating him
|
|
on a career which so often ends in premature and violent death.
|
|
But so far is he from having any desire for a more accurate knowledge
|
|
of the earth's surface, that he said he should prefer not to know
|
|
the sources of the Nile, and that there should be some unknown
|
|
regions preserved as hunting grounds for the poetic imagination."
|
|
|
|
"Well, there is something in that, you know," said Mr. Brooke,
|
|
who had certainly an impartial mind.
|
|
|
|
"It is, I fear, nothing more than a part of his general inaccuracy
|
|
and indisposition to thoroughness of all kinds, which would be a bad
|
|
augury for him in any profession, civil or sacred, even were he
|
|
so far submissive to ordinary rule as to choose one."
|
|
|
|
"Perhaps he has conscientious scruples founded on his own unfitness,"
|
|
said Dorothea, who was interesting herself in finding a favorable explanation.
|
|
"Because the law and medicine should be very serious professions
|
|
to undertake, should they not? People's lives and fortunes depend on them."
|
|
|
|
"Doubtless; but I fear that my young relative Will Ladislaw is
|
|
chiefly determined in his aversion to these callings by a dislike
|
|
to steady application, and to that kind of acquirement which is
|
|
needful instrumentally, but is not charming or immediately inviting
|
|
to self-indulgent taste. I have insisted to him on what Aristotle has
|
|
stated with admirable brevity, that for the achievement of any work
|
|
regarded as an end there must be a prior exercise of many energies
|
|
or acquired facilities of a secondary order, demanding patience.
|
|
I have pointed to my own manuscript volumes, which represent
|
|
the toil of years preparatory to a work not yet accomplished.
|
|
But in vain. To careful reasoning of this kind he replies
|
|
by calling himself Pegasus, and every form of prescribed work `harness.'"
|
|
|
|
Celia laughed. She was surprised to find that Mr. Casaubon could
|
|
say something quite amusing.
|
|
|
|
"Well, you know, he may turn out a Byron, a Chatterton,
|
|
a Churchill--that sort of thing--there's no telling," said Mr. Brooke.
|
|
"Shall you let him go to Italy, or wherever else he wants to go?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes; I have agreed to furnish him with moderate supplies for a year
|
|
or so; he asks no more. I shall let him be tried by the test
|
|
of freedom."
|
|
|
|
"That is very kind of you," said Dorothea, looking up at Mr. Casaubon
|
|
with delight. "It is noble. After all, people may really have
|
|
in them some vocation which is not quite plain to themselves,
|
|
may they not? They may seem idle and weak because they are growing.
|
|
We should be very patient with each other, I think."
|
|
|
|
"I suppose it is being engaged to be married that has made you
|
|
think patience good," said Celia, as soon as she and Dorothea
|
|
were alone together, taking off their wrappings.
|
|
|
|
"You mean that I am very impatient, Celia."
|
|
|
|
"Yes; when people don't do and say just what you like." Celia had
|
|
become less afraid of "saying things" to Dorothea since this
|
|
engagement: cleverness seemed to her more pitiable than ever.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER X.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"He had catched a great cold, had he had no other clothes to wear
|
|
than the skin of a bear not yet killed."--FULLER.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Young Ladislaw did not pay that visit to which Mr. Brooke had
|
|
invited him, and only six days afterwards Mr. Casaubon mentioned
|
|
that his young relative had started for the Continent, seeming by this
|
|
cold vagueness to waive inquiry. Indeed, Will had declined to fix
|
|
on any more precise destination than the entire area of Europe.
|
|
Genius, he held, is necessarily intolerant of fetters: on the one
|
|
hand it must have the utmost play for its spontaneity; on the other,
|
|
it may confidently await those messages from the universe which
|
|
summon it to its peculiar work, only placing itself in an attitude
|
|
of receptivity towards all sublime chances. The attitudes of
|
|
receptivity are various, and Will had sincerely tried many of them.
|
|
He was not excessively fond of wine, but he had several times taken
|
|
too much, simply as an experiment in that form of ecstasy; he had
|
|
fasted till he was faint, and then supped on lobster; he had made
|
|
himself ill with doses of opium. Nothing greatly original had resulted
|
|
from these measures; and the effects of the opium had convinced him
|
|
that there was an entire dissimilarity between his constitution
|
|
and De Quincey's. The superadded circumstance which would evolve
|
|
the genius had not yet come; the universe had not yet beckoned.
|
|
Even Caesar's fortune at one time was, but a grand presentiment.
|
|
We know what a masquerade all development is, and what effective shapes
|
|
may be disguised in helpless embryos.--In fact, the world is full
|
|
of hopeful analogies and handsome dubious eggs called possibilities.
|
|
Will saw clearly enough the pitiable instances of long incubation
|
|
producing no chick, and but for gratitude would have laughed
|
|
at Casaubon, whose plodding application, rows of note-books, and small
|
|
taper of learned theory exploring the tossed ruins of the world,
|
|
seemed to enforce a moral entirely encouraging to Will's generous
|
|
reliance on the intentions of the universe with regard to himself.
|
|
He held that reliance to be a mark of genius; and certainly it is no
|
|
mark to the contrary; genius consisting neither in self-conceit nor
|
|
in humility, but in a power to make or do, not anything in general,
|
|
but something in particular. Let him start for the Continent, then,
|
|
without our pronouncing on his future. Among all forms of mistake,
|
|
prophecy is the most gratuitous.
|
|
|
|
But at present this caution against a too hasty judgment interests
|
|
me more in relation to Mr. Casaubon than to his young cousin.
|
|
If to Dorothea Mr. Casaubon had been the mere occasion which had set
|
|
alight the fine inflammable material of her youthful illusions,
|
|
does it follow that he was fairly represented in the minds of those
|
|
less impassioned personages who have hitherto delivered their
|
|
judgments concerning him? I protest against any absolute conclusion,
|
|
any prejudice derived from Mrs. Cadwallader's contempt for a neighboring
|
|
clergyman's alleged greatness of soul, or Sir James Chettam's poor
|
|
opinion of his rival's legs,--from Mr. Brooke's failure to elicit
|
|
a companion's ideas, or from Celia's criticism of a middle-aged
|
|
scholar's personal appearance. I am not sure that the greatest man
|
|
of his age, if ever that solitary superlative existed, could escape
|
|
these unfavorable reflections of himself in various small mirrors;
|
|
and even Milton, looking for his portrait in a spoon, must submit
|
|
to have the facial angle of a bumpkin. Moreover, if Mr. Casaubon,
|
|
speaking for himself, has rather a chilling rhetoric, it is not
|
|
therefore certain that there is no good work or fine feeling in him.
|
|
Did not an immortal physicist and interpreter of hieroglyphs write
|
|
detestable verses? Has the theory of the solar system been advanced
|
|
by graceful manners and conversational tact? Suppose we turn
|
|
from outside estimates of a man, to wonder, with keener interest,
|
|
what is the report of his own consciousness about his doings or
|
|
capacity: with what hindrances he is carrying on his daily labors;
|
|
what fading of hopes, or what deeper fixity of self-delusion the
|
|
years are marking off within him; and with what spirit he wrestles
|
|
against universal pressure, which will one day be too heavy for him,
|
|
and bring his heart to its final pause. Doubtless his lot is
|
|
important in his own eyes; and the chief reason that we think
|
|
he asks too large a place in our consideration must be our want
|
|
of room for him, since we refer him to the Divine regard with
|
|
perfect confidence; nay, it is even held sublime for our neighbor
|
|
to expect the utmost there, however little he may have got from us.
|
|
Mr. Casaubon, too, was the centre of his own world; if he was
|
|
liable to think that others were providentially made for him,
|
|
and especially to consider them in the light of their fitness
|
|
for the author of a "Key to all Mythologies," this trait is not
|
|
quite alien to us, and, like the other mendicant hopes of mortals,
|
|
claims some of our pity.
|
|
|
|
Certainly this affair of his marriage with Miss Brooke touched him
|
|
more nearly than it did any one of the persons who have hitherto
|
|
shown their disapproval of it, and in the present stage of things I
|
|
feel more tenderly towards his experience of success than towards
|
|
the disappointment of the amiable Sir James. For in truth, as the
|
|
day fixed for his marriage came nearer, Mr. Casaubon did not find
|
|
his spirits rising; nor did the contemplation of that matrimonial
|
|
garden scene, where, as all experience showed, the path was to be
|
|
bordered with flowers, prove persistently more enchanting bo him
|
|
than the accustomed vaults where he walked taper in hand. He did
|
|
not confess to himself, still less could he have breathed to another,
|
|
his surprise that though he had won a lovely and noble-hearted girl
|
|
he had not won delight,--which he had also regarded as an object
|
|
to be found by search. It is true that he knew all the classical
|
|
passages implying the contrary; but knowing classical passages,
|
|
we find, is a mode of motion, which explains why they leave
|
|
so little extra force for their personal application.
|
|
|
|
Poor Mr. Casaubon had imagined that his long studious bachelorhood
|
|
had stored up for him a compound interest of enjoyment, and that
|
|
large drafts on his affections would not fail to be honored; for we
|
|
all of us, grave or light, get our thoughts entangled in metaphors,
|
|
and act fatally on the strength of them. And now he was in danger
|
|
of being saddened by the very conviction that his circumstances
|
|
were unusually happy: there was nothing external by which he could
|
|
account for a certain blankness of sensibility which came over him
|
|
just when his expectant gladness should have been most lively,
|
|
just when he exchanged the accustomed dulness of his Lowick library
|
|
for his visits to the Grange. Here was a weary experience in which
|
|
he was as utterly condemned to loneliness as in the despair which
|
|
sometimes threatened him while toiling in the morass of authorship
|
|
without seeming nearer to the goal. And his was that worst
|
|
loneliness which would shrink from sympathy. He could not but wish
|
|
that Dorothea should think him not less happy than the world would
|
|
expect her successful suitor to be; and in relation to his authorship
|
|
he leaned on her young trust and veneration, he liked to draw
|
|
forth her fresh interest in listening, as a means of encouragement
|
|
to himself: in talking to her he presented all his performance and
|
|
intention with the reflected confidence of the pedagogue, and rid
|
|
himself for the time of that chilling ideal audience which crowded
|
|
his laborious uncreative hours with the vaporous pressure of Tartarean shades.
|
|
|
|
For to Dorothea, after that toy-box history of the world adapted
|
|
to young ladies which had made the chief part of her education,
|
|
Mr. Casaubon's talk about his great book was full of new vistas;
|
|
and this sense of revelation, this surprise of a nearer introduction
|
|
to Stoics and Alexandrians, as people who had ideas not totally
|
|
unlike her own, kept in abeyance for the time her usual eagerness
|
|
for a binding theory which could bring her own life and doctrine
|
|
into strict connection with that amazing past, and give the remotest
|
|
sources of knowledge some bearing on her actions. That more complete
|
|
teaching would come--Mr. Casaubon would tell her all that: she was
|
|
looking forward to higher initiation in ideas, as she was looking
|
|
forward to marriage, and blending her dim conceptions of both.
|
|
It would be a great mistake to suppose that Dorothea would have cared
|
|
about any share in Mr. Casaubon's learning as mere accomplishment;
|
|
for though opinion in the neighborhood of Freshitt and Tipton
|
|
had pronounced her clever, that epithet would not have described
|
|
her to circles in whose more precise vocabulary cleverness implies
|
|
mere aptitude for knowing and doing, apart from character.
|
|
All her eagerness for acquirement lay within that full current of
|
|
sympathetic motive in which her ideas and impulses were habitually
|
|
swept along. She did not want to deck herself with knowledge--to
|
|
wear it loose from the nerves and blood that fed her action; and if
|
|
she had written a book she must have done it as Saint Theresa did,
|
|
under the command of an authority that constrained her conscience.
|
|
But something she yearned for by which her life might be filled
|
|
with action at once rational and ardent; and since the time was gone
|
|
by for guiding visions and spiritual directors, since prayer heightened
|
|
yearning but not instruction, what lamp was there but knowledge?
|
|
Surely learned men kept-the only oil; and who more learned than
|
|
Mr. Casaubon?
|
|
|
|
Thus in these brief weeks Dorothea's joyous grateful expectation
|
|
was unbroken, and however her lover might occasionally be conscious
|
|
of flatness, he could never refer it to any slackening of her
|
|
affectionate interest.
|
|
|
|
The season was mild enough to encourage the project of extending
|
|
the wedding journey as far as Rome, and Mr. Casaubon was anxious
|
|
for this because he wished to inspect some manuscripts in the Vatican.
|
|
|
|
"I still regret that your sister is not to accompany us," he said
|
|
one morning, some time after it had been ascertained that Celia
|
|
objected to go, and that Dorothea did not wish for her companionship.
|
|
"You will have many lonely hours, Dorotheas, for I shall be
|
|
constrained to make the utmost use of my time during our stay in Rome,
|
|
and I should feel more at liberty if you had a companion."
|
|
|
|
The words "I should feel more at liberty" grated on Dorothea.
|
|
For the first time in speaking to Mr. Casaubon she colored
|
|
from annoyance.
|
|
|
|
"You must have misunderstood me very much," she said, "if you think
|
|
I should not enter into the value of your time--if you think that I
|
|
should not willingly give up whatever interfered with your using
|
|
it to the best purpose."
|
|
|
|
"That is very amiable in you, my dear Dorothea," said Mr. Casaubon,
|
|
not in the least noticing that she was hurt; "but if you had a lady
|
|
as your companion, I could put you both under the care of a cicerone,
|
|
and we could thus achieve two purposes in the same space of time."
|
|
|
|
"I beg you will not refer to this again," said Dorothea, rather haughtily.
|
|
But immediately she feared that she was wrong, and turning towards
|
|
him she laid her hand on his, adding in a different tone, "Pray do
|
|
not be anxious about me. I shall have so much to think of when I
|
|
am alone. And Tantripp will be a sufficient companion, just to take
|
|
care of me. I could not bear to have Celia: she would be miserable."
|
|
|
|
It was time to dress. There was to be a dinner-party that day,
|
|
the last of the parties which were held at the Grange as proper
|
|
preliminaries to the wedding, and Dorothea was glad of a reason
|
|
for moving away at once on the sound of the bell, as if she needed
|
|
more than her usual amount of preparation. She was ashamed of being
|
|
irritated from some cause she could not define even to herse1f;
|
|
for though she had no intention to be untruthful, her reply had not
|
|
touched the real hurt within her. Mr. Casaubon's words had been
|
|
quite reasonable, yet they had brought a vague instantaneous sense
|
|
of aloofness on his part.
|
|
|
|
"Surely I am in a strangely selfish weak state of mind," she said
|
|
to herself. "How can I have a husband who is so much above me
|
|
without knowing that he needs me less than I need him?"
|
|
|
|
Having convinced herself that Mr. Casaubon was altogether right,
|
|
she recovered her equanimity, and was an agreeable image of serene
|
|
dignity when she came into the drawing-room in her silver-gray
|
|
dress--the simple lines of her dark-brown hair parted over her brow
|
|
and coiled massively behind, in keeping with the entire absence
|
|
from her manner and expression of all search after mere effect.
|
|
Sometimes when Dorothea was in company, there seemed to be as
|
|
complete an air of repose about her as if she had been a picture
|
|
of Santa Barbara looking out from her tower into the clear air;
|
|
but these intervals of quietude made the energy of her speech
|
|
and emotion the more remarked when some outward appeal had
|
|
touched her.
|
|
|
|
She was naturally the subject of many observations this evening,
|
|
for the dinner-party was large and rather more miscellaneous
|
|
as to the male portion than any which had been held at the Grange
|
|
since Mr. Brooke's nieces had resided with him, so that the
|
|
talking was done in duos and trios more or less inharmonious.
|
|
There was the newly elected mayor of Middlemarch, who happened
|
|
to be a manufacturer; the philanthropic banker his brother-in-law,
|
|
who predominated so much in the town that some called him a Methodist,
|
|
others a hypocrite, according to the resources of their vocabulary;
|
|
and there were various professional men. In fact, Mrs. Cadwallader
|
|
said that Brooke was beginning to treat the Middlemarchers,
|
|
and that she preferred the farmers at the tithe-dinner, who drank her
|
|
health unpretentiously, and were not ashamed of their grandfathers'
|
|
furniture. For in that part of the country, before reform had
|
|
done its notable part in developing the political consciousness,
|
|
there was a clearer distinction of ranks and a dimmer distinction
|
|
of parties; so that Mr. Brooke's miscellaneous invitations seemed
|
|
to belong to that general laxity which came from his inordinate
|
|
travel and habit of taking too much in the form of ideas.
|
|
|
|
Already, as Miss Brooke passed out of the dining-room, opportunity
|
|
was found for some interjectional "asides"
|
|
|
|
"A fine woman, Miss Brooke! an uncommonly fine woman, by God!"
|
|
said Mr. Standish, the old lawyer, who had been so long concerned
|
|
with the landed gentry that he had become landed himself, and used
|
|
that oath in a deep-mouthed manner as a sort of armorial bearings,
|
|
stamping the speech of a man who held a good position.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode, the banker, seemed to be addressed, but that
|
|
gentleman disliked coarseness and profanity, and merely bowed.
|
|
The remark was taken up by Mr. Chichely, a middle-aged bachelor
|
|
and coursing celebrity, who had a complexion something like
|
|
an Easter egg, a few hairs carefully arranged, and a carriage
|
|
implying the consciousness of a distinguished appearance.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, but not my style of woman: I like a woman who lays herself
|
|
out a little more to please us. There should be a little filigree
|
|
about a woman--something of the coquette. A man likes a sort
|
|
of challenge. The more of a dead set she makes at you the better."
|
|
|
|
"There's some truth in that," said Mr. Standish, disposed to be genial.
|
|
"And, by God, it's usually the way with them. I suppose it answers
|
|
some wise ends: Providence made them so, eh, Bulstrode?"
|
|
|
|
"I should be disposed to refer coquetry to another source,"
|
|
said Mr. Bulstrode. "I should rather refer it to the devil."
|
|
|
|
"Ay, to be sure, there should be a little devil in a woman,"
|
|
said Mr. Chichely, whose study of the fair sex seemed to have been
|
|
detrimental to his theology. "And I like them blond, with a
|
|
certain gait, and a swan neck. Between ourselves, the mayor's
|
|
daughter is more to my taste than Miss Brooke or Miss Celia either.
|
|
If I were a marrying man I should choose Miss Vincy before either
|
|
of them."
|
|
|
|
"Well, make up, make up," said Mr. Standish, jocosely; "you see
|
|
the middle-aged fellows early the day."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Chichely shook his head with much meaning: he was not going
|
|
to incur the certainty of being accepted by the woman he would choose.
|
|
|
|
The Miss Vincy who had the honor of being Mr. Chichely's ideal was
|
|
of course not present; for Mr. Brooke, always objecting to go too far,
|
|
would not have chosen that his nieces should meet the daughter
|
|
of a Middlemarch manufacturer, unless it were on a public occasion.
|
|
The feminine part of the company included none whom Lady
|
|
Chettam or Mrs. Cadwallader could object to; for Mrs. Renfrew,
|
|
the colonel's widow, was not only unexceptionable in point of breeding,
|
|
but also interesting on the ground of her complaint, which puzzled
|
|
the doctors, and seemed clearly a case wherein the fulness of
|
|
professional knowledge might need the supplement of quackery.
|
|
Lady Chettam, who attributed her own remarkable health to home-made
|
|
bitters united with constant medical attendance, entered with much
|
|
exercise of the imagination into Mrs. Renfrew's account of symptoms,
|
|
and into the amazing futility in her case of all, strengthening medicines.
|
|
|
|
"Where can all the strength of those medicines go, my dear?" said the
|
|
mild but stately dowager, turning to Mrs. Cadwallader reflectively,
|
|
when Mrs. Renfrew's attention was called away.
|
|
|
|
"It strengthens the disease," said the Rector's wife, much too
|
|
well-born not to be an amateur in medicine. "Everything depends on the
|
|
constitution: some people make fat, some blood, and some bile--that's
|
|
my view of the matter; and whatever they take is a sort of grist to the mill."
|
|
|
|
"Then she ought to take medicines that would reduce--reduce
|
|
the disease, you know, if you are right, my dear. And I think
|
|
what you say is reasonable."
|
|
|
|
"Certainly it is reasonable. You have two sorts of potatoes,
|
|
fed on the same soil. One of them grows more and more watery--"
|
|
|
|
"Ah! like this poor Mrs. Renfrew--that is what I think.
|
|
Dropsy! There is no swelling yet--it is inward. I should say she ought
|
|
to take drying medicines, shouldn't you?--or a dry hot-air bath.
|
|
Many things might be tried, of a drying nature."
|
|
|
|
"Let her try a certain person's pamphlets," said Mrs. Cadwallader
|
|
in an undertone, seeing the gentlemen enter. "He does not want drying."
|
|
|
|
"Who, my dear?" said Lady Chettam, a charming woman, not so quick
|
|
as to nullify the pleasure of explanation.
|
|
|
|
"The bridegroom--Casaubon. He has certainly been drying up faster
|
|
since the engagement: the flame of passion, I suppose."
|
|
|
|
"I should think he is far from having a good constitution,"
|
|
said Lady Chettam, with a still deeper undertone. "And then his
|
|
studies--so very dry, as you say."
|
|
|
|
"Really, by the side of Sir James, he looks like a death's head
|
|
skinned over for the occasion. Mark my words: in a year from this
|
|
time that girl will hate him. She looks up to him as an oracle now,
|
|
and by-and-by she will be at the other extreme. All flightiness!"
|
|
|
|
"How very shocking! I fear she is headstrong. But tell me--you
|
|
know all about him--is there anything very bad? What is the truth?"
|
|
|
|
"The truth? he is as bad as the wrong physic--nasty to take,
|
|
and sure to disagree."
|
|
|
|
"There could not be anything worse than that," said Lady Chettam,
|
|
with so vivid a conception of the physic that she seemed to have
|
|
learned something exact about Mr. Casaubon's disadvantages.
|
|
"However, James will hear nothing against Miss Brooke. He says she
|
|
is the mirror of women still."
|
|
|
|
"That is a generous make-believe of his. Depend upon it, he likes
|
|
little Celia better, and she appreciates him. I hope you like my
|
|
little Celia?"
|
|
|
|
"Certainly; she is fonder of geraniums, and seems more docile,
|
|
though not so fine a figure. But we were talking of physic.
|
|
Tell me about this new young surgeon, Mr. Lydgate. I am told he is
|
|
wonderfully clever: he certainly looks it--a fine brow indeed."
|
|
|
|
"He is a gentleman. I heard him talking to Humphrey. He talks well."
|
|
|
|
"Yes. Mr. Brooke says he is one of the Lydgates of Northumberland,
|
|
really well connected. One does not expect it in a practitioner
|
|
of that kind. For my own part, I like a medical man more on a footing
|
|
with the servants; they are often all the cleverer. I assure you
|
|
I found poor Hicks's judgment unfailing; I never knew him wrong.
|
|
He was coarse and butcher-like, but he knew my constitution.
|
|
It was a loss to me his going off so suddenly. Dear me, what a
|
|
very animated conversation Miss Brooke seems to be having with this
|
|
Mr. Lydgate!"
|
|
|
|
"She is talking cottages and hospitals with him," said Mrs. Cadwallader,
|
|
whose ears and power of interpretation were quick. "I believe
|
|
he is a sort of philanthropist, so Brooke is sure to take him up."
|
|
|
|
"James," said Lady Chettam when her son came near, "bring Mr. Lydgate
|
|
and introduce him to me. I want to test him."
|
|
|
|
The affable dowager declared herself delighted with this opportunity
|
|
of making Mr. Lydgate's acquaintance, having heard of his success
|
|
in treating fever on a new plan.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Lydgate had the medical accomplishment of looking perfectly grave
|
|
whatever nonsense was talked to him, and his dark steady eyes gave him
|
|
impressiveness as a listener. He was as little as possible like the
|
|
lamented Hicks, especially in a certain careless refinement about his
|
|
toilet and utterance. Yet Lady Chettam gathered much confidence in him.
|
|
He confirmed her view of her own constitution as being peculiar,
|
|
by admitting that all constitutions might be called peculiar,
|
|
and he did not deny that hers might be more peculiar than others.
|
|
He did not approve of a too lowering system, including reckless cupping,
|
|
nor, on the other hand, of incessant port wine and bark. He said "I
|
|
think so" with an air of so much deference accompanying the insight
|
|
of agreement, that she formed the most cordial opinion of his talents.
|
|
|
|
"I am quite pleased with your protege," she said to Mr. Brooke
|
|
before going away.
|
|
|
|
"My protege?--dear me!--who is that?" said Mr. Brooke.
|
|
|
|
"This young Lydgate, the new doctor.-He seems to me to understand
|
|
his profession admirably."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, Lydgate! he is not my protege, you know; only I knew an
|
|
uncle of his who sent me a letter about him. However, I think he
|
|
is likely to be first-rate--has studied in Paris, knew Broussais;
|
|
has ideas, you know--wants to raise the profession."
|
|
|
|
"Lydgate has lots of ideas, quite new, about ventilation and diet,
|
|
that sort of thing," resumed Mr. Brooke, after he had handed out
|
|
Lady Chettam, and had returned to be civil to a group of Middlemarchers.
|
|
|
|
"Hang it, do you think that is quite sound?--upsetting The old treatment,
|
|
which has made Englishmen what they re?" said Mr. Standish.
|
|
|
|
"Medical knowledge is at a low ebb among us," said Mr. Bulstrode,
|
|
who spoke in a subdued tone, and had rather a sickly wir "I, for
|
|
my part, hail the advent of Mr. Lydgate. I hope to find good reason
|
|
for confiding the new hospital to his management."
|
|
|
|
"That is all very fine," replied Mr. Standish, who was not fond of
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode; "if you like him to try experiments on your hospital
|
|
patients, and kill a few people for charity I have no objection.
|
|
But I am not going to hand money out of my purse to have experiments
|
|
tried on me. I like treatment that has been tested a little."
|
|
|
|
"Well, you know, Standish, every dose you take is an experiment-an
|
|
experiment, you know," said Mr. Brooke, nodding towards the lawyer.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, if you talk in that sense!" said Mr. Standish, with as much
|
|
disgust at such non-legal quibbling as a man can well betray towards
|
|
a valuable client.
|
|
|
|
"I should be glad of any treatment that would cure me without
|
|
reducing me to a skeleton, like poor Grainger," said Mr. Vincy,
|
|
the mayor, a florid man, who would have served for a study of flesh
|
|
in striking contrast with the Franciscan tints of Mr. Bulstrode.
|
|
"It's an uncommonly dangerous thing to be left without any padding
|
|
against the shafts of disease, as somebody said,--and I think it a
|
|
very good expression myself."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Lydgate, of course, was out of hearing. He had quitted the
|
|
party early, and would have thought it altogether tedious but for
|
|
the novelty of certain introductions, especially the introduction
|
|
to Miss Brooke, whose youthful bloom, with her approaching marriage
|
|
to that faded scholar, and her interest in matters socially useful,
|
|
gave her the piquancy of an unusual combination.
|
|
|
|
"She is a good creature--that fine girl--but a little too earnest,"
|
|
he thought. "It is troublesome to talk to such women. They are
|
|
always wanting reasons, yet they are too ignorant to understand
|
|
the merits of any question, and usually fall hack on their moral
|
|
sense to settle things after their own taste."
|
|
|
|
Evidently Miss Brooke was not Mr. Lydgate's style of woman any more
|
|
than Mr. Chichely's. Considered, indeed, in relation to the latter,
|
|
whose mied was matured, she was altogether a mistake, and calculated
|
|
to shock his trust in final causes, including the adaptation of fine
|
|
young women to purplefaced bachelors. But Lydgate was less ripe,
|
|
and might possibly have experience before him which would modify
|
|
his opinion as to the most excellent things in woman.
|
|
|
|
Miss Brooke, however, was not again seen by either of these
|
|
gentlemen under her maiden name. Not long after that dinner-party
|
|
she had become Mrs. Casaubon, and was on her way to Rome.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XI.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"But deeds and language such as men do use,
|
|
And persons such as comedy would choose,
|
|
When she would show an image of the times,
|
|
And sport with human follies, not with crimes."
|
|
--BEN JONSON.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lydgate, in fact, was already conscious of being fascinated by a
|
|
woman strikingly different from Miss Brooke: he did not in the
|
|
least suppose that he had lost his balance and fallen in love,
|
|
but he had said of that particular woman, "She is grace itself;
|
|
she is perfectly lovely and accomplished. That is what a woman
|
|
ought to be: she ought to produce the effect of exquisite music."
|
|
Plain women he regarded as he did the other severe facts of life,
|
|
to be faced with philosophy and investigated by science. But Rosamond
|
|
Vincy seemed to have the true melodic charm; and when a man has seen
|
|
the woman whom he would have chosen if he had intended to marry speedily,
|
|
his remaining a bachelor will usually depend on her resolution
|
|
rather than on his. Lydgate believed that he should not marry for
|
|
several years: not marry until he had trodden out a good clear path
|
|
for himself away from the broad road which was quite ready made.
|
|
He had seen Miss Vincy above his horizon almost as long as it
|
|
had taken Mr. Casaubon to become engaged and married: but this
|
|
learned gentleman was possessed of a fortune; he had assembled his
|
|
voluminous notes, and had made that sort of reputation which precedes
|
|
performance,--often the larger part of a man's fame. He took a wife,
|
|
as we have seen, to adorn the remaining quadrant of his course,
|
|
and be a little moon that would cause hardly a calculable perturbation.
|
|
But Lydgate was young, poor, ambitious. He had his half-century
|
|
before him instead of behind him, and he had come to Middlemarch bent
|
|
on doing many things that were not directly fitted to make his fortune
|
|
or even secure him a good income. To a man under such circumstances,
|
|
taking a wife is something more than a question of adornment,
|
|
however highly he may rate this; and Lydgate was disposed to give
|
|
it the first place among wifely functions. To his taste, guided by
|
|
a single conversation, here was the point on which Miss Brooke
|
|
would be found wanting, notwithstanding her undeniable beauty.
|
|
She did not look at things from the proper feminine angle.
|
|
The society of such women was about as relaxing as going from your
|
|
work to teach the second form, instead of reclining in a paradise
|
|
with sweet laughs for bird-notes, and blue eyes for a heaven.
|
|
|
|
Certainly nothing at present could seem much less important to
|
|
Lydgate than the turn of Miss Brooke's mind, or to Miss Brooke than
|
|
the qualities of the woman who had attracted this young surgeon.
|
|
But any one watching keenly the stealthy convergence of human lots,
|
|
sees a slow preparation of effects from one life on another,
|
|
which tells like a calculated irony on the indifference or the
|
|
frozen stare with which we look at our unintroduced neighbor.
|
|
Destiny stands by sarcastic with our dramatis personae folded
|
|
in her hand.
|
|
|
|
Old provincial society had its share of this subtle movement: had
|
|
not only its striking downfalls, its brilliant young professional
|
|
dandies who ended by living up an entry with a drab and six children
|
|
for their establishment, but also those less marked vicissitudes
|
|
which are constantly shifting the boundaries of social intercourse,
|
|
and begetting new consciousness of interdependence. Some slipped
|
|
a little downward, some got higher footing: people denied aspirates,
|
|
gained wealth, and fastidious gentlemen stood for boroughs;
|
|
some were caught in political currents, some in ecclesiastical,
|
|
and perhaps found themselves surprisingly grouped in consequence;
|
|
while a few personages or families that stood with rocky firmness
|
|
amid all this fluctuation, were slowly presenting new aspects
|
|
in spite of solidity, and altering with the double change of self
|
|
and beholder. Municipal town and rural parish gradually made fresh
|
|
threads of connection--gradually, as the old stocking gave way to the
|
|
savings-bank, and the worship of the solar guinea became extinct;
|
|
while squires and baronets, and even lords who had once lived
|
|
blamelessly afar from the civic mind, gathered the faultiness of
|
|
closer acquaintanceship. Settlers, too, came from distant counties,
|
|
some with an alarming novelty of skill, others with an offensive
|
|
advantage in cunning. In fact, much the same sort of movement
|
|
and mixture went on in old England as we find in older Herodotus,
|
|
who also, in telling what had been, thought it well to take a woman's
|
|
lot for his starting-point; though Io, as a maiden apparently
|
|
beguiled by attractive merchandise, was the reverse of Miss Brooke,
|
|
and in this respect perhaps bore more resemblance to Rosamond Vincy,
|
|
who had excellent taste in costume, with that nymph-like figure
|
|
and pure blindness which give the largest range to choice in the flow
|
|
and color of drapery. But these things made only part of her charm.
|
|
She was admitted to be the flower of Mrs. Lemon's school,
|
|
the chief school in the county, where the teaching included all
|
|
that was demanded in the accomplished female--even to extras,
|
|
such as the getting in and out of a carriage. Mrs. Lemon herself
|
|
had always held up Miss Vincy as an example: no pupil, she said,
|
|
exceeded that young lady for mental acquisition and propriety
|
|
of speech, while her musical execution was quite exceptional.
|
|
We cannot help the way in which people speak of us, and probably if
|
|
Mrs. Lemon had undertaken to describe Juliet or Imogen, these heroines
|
|
would not have seemed poetical. The first vision of Rosamond would
|
|
have been enough with most judges to dispel any prejudice excited by
|
|
Mrs. Lemon's praise.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate could not be long in Middlemarch without having that agreeable
|
|
vision, or even without making the acquaintance of the Vincy family;
|
|
for though Mr. Peacock, whose practice he had paid something to enter on,
|
|
had not been their doctor (Mrs. Vincy not liking the lowering system
|
|
adopted by him), he had many patients among their connections
|
|
and acquaintances. For who of any consequence in Middlemarch was
|
|
not connected or at least acquainted with the Vincys? They were
|
|
old manufacturers, and had kept a good house for three generations,
|
|
in which there had naturally been much intermarrying with neighbors
|
|
more or less decidedly genteel. Mr. Vincy's sister had made a wealthy
|
|
match in accepting Mr. Bulstrode, who, however, as a man not born
|
|
in the town, and altogether of dimly known origin, was considered
|
|
to have done well in uniting himself with a real Middlemarch family;
|
|
on the other hand, Mr. Vincy had descended a little, having taken
|
|
an innkeeper's daughter. But on this side too there was a cheering
|
|
sense of money; for Mrs. Vincy's sister had been second wife
|
|
to rich old Mr. Featherstone, and had died childless years ago,
|
|
so that her nephews and nieces might be supposed to touch the
|
|
affections of the widower. And it happened that Mr. Bulstrode
|
|
and Mr. Featherstone, two of Peacock's most important patients,
|
|
had, from different causes, given an especially good reception to
|
|
his successor, who had raised some partisanship as well as discussion.
|
|
Mr. Wrench, medical attendant to the Vincy family, very early had
|
|
grounds for thinking lightly of Lydgate's professional discretion,
|
|
and there was no report about him which was not retailed at the
|
|
Vincys', where visitors were frequent. Mr. Vincy was more inclined
|
|
to general good-fellowship than to taking sides, but there was
|
|
no need for him to be hasty in making any new man acquaintance.
|
|
Rosamond silently wished that her father would invite Mr. Lydgate.
|
|
She was tired of the faces and figures she had always been used
|
|
to--the various irregular profiles and gaits and turns of phrase
|
|
distinguishing those Middlemarch young men whom she had known as boys.
|
|
She had been at school with girls of higher position, whose brothers,
|
|
she felt sure, it would have been possible for her to be more
|
|
interested in, than in these inevitable Middlemarch companions.
|
|
But she would not have chosen to mention her wish to her father;
|
|
and he, for his part, was in no hurry on the subject. An alderman
|
|
about to be mayor must by-and-by enlarge his dinner-parties,
|
|
but at present there were plenty of guests at his well-spread table.
|
|
|
|
That table often remained covered with the relics of the family breakfast
|
|
long after Mr. Vincy had gone with his second son to the warehouse,
|
|
and when Miss Morgan was already far on in morning lessons with the
|
|
younger girls in the schoolroom. It awaited the family laggard,
|
|
who found any sort of inconvenience (to others) less disagreeable
|
|
than getting up when he was called. This was the case one morning
|
|
of the October in which we have lately seen Mr. Casaubon visiting
|
|
the Grange; and though the room was a little overheated with the fire,
|
|
which had sent the spaniel panting to a remote corner, Rosamond,
|
|
for some reason, continued to sit at her embroidery longer than usual,
|
|
now and then giving herself a little shake, and laying her work
|
|
on her knee to contemplate it with an air of hesitating weariness.
|
|
Her mamma, who had returned from an excursion to the kitchen,
|
|
sat on the other side of the small work-table with an air
|
|
of more entire placidity, until, the clock again giving notice
|
|
that it was going to strike, she looked up from the lace-mending
|
|
which was occupying her plump fingers and rang the bell.
|
|
|
|
"Knock at Mr. Fred's door again, Pritchard, and tell him it has
|
|
struck half-past ten."
|
|
|
|
This was said without any change in the radiant good-humor of
|
|
Mrs. Vincy's face, in which forty-five years had delved neither
|
|
angles nor parallels; and pushing back her pink capstrings, she let
|
|
her work rest on her lap, while she looked admiringly at her daughter.
|
|
|
|
"Mamma," said Rosamond, "when Fred comes down I wish you would
|
|
not let him have red herrings. I cannot bear the smell of them
|
|
all over the house at this hour of the morning."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, my dear, you are so hard on your brothers! It is the only fault
|
|
I have to find with you. You are the sweetest temper in the world,
|
|
but you are so tetchy with your brothers."
|
|
|
|
"Not tetchy, mamma: you never hear me speak in an unladylike way."
|
|
|
|
"Well, but you want to deny them things."
|
|
|
|
"Brothers are so unpleasant."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, my dear, you must allow for young men. Be thankful if they
|
|
have good hearts. A woman must learn to put up with little things.
|
|
You will be married some day."
|
|
|
|
"Not to any one who is like Fred."
|
|
|
|
"Don't decry your own brother, my dear. Few young men have less
|
|
against them, although he couldn't take his degree--I'm sure I
|
|
can't understand why, for he seems to me most clever. And you know
|
|
yourself he was thought equal to the best society at college.
|
|
So particular as you are, my dear, I wonder you are not glad to have
|
|
such a gentlemanly young man for a brother. You are always finding
|
|
fault with Bob because he is not Fred."
|
|
|
|
"Oh no, mamma, only because he is Bob."
|
|
|
|
"Well, my dear, you will not find any Middlemarch young man who has
|
|
not something against him."
|
|
|
|
"But"--here Rosamond's face broke into a smile which suddenly revealed
|
|
two dimples. She herself thought unfavorably of these dimples and smiled
|
|
little in general society. "But I shall not marry any Middlemarch young man."
|
|
|
|
"So it seems, my love, for you have as good as refused the pick
|
|
of them; and if there's better to be had, I'm sure there's no girl
|
|
better deserves it."
|
|
|
|
"Excuse me, mamma--I wish you would not say, `the pick of them.'"
|
|
|
|
"Why, what else are they?"
|
|
|
|
"I mean, mamma, it is rather a vulgar expression."
|
|
|
|
"Very likely, my dear; I never was a good speaker. What should
|
|
I say?"
|
|
|
|
"The best of them."
|
|
|
|
"Why, that seems just as plain and common. If I had had time
|
|
to think, I should have said, `the most superior young men.'
|
|
But with your education you must know."
|
|
|
|
"What must Rosy know, mother?" said Mr. Fred, who had
|
|
slid in unobserved through the half-open door while the
|
|
ladies were bending over their work, and now going up
|
|
to the fire stood with his back towards it, warming the soles of his slippers.
|
|
|
|
"Whether it's right to say `superior young men,'" said Mrs. Vincy,
|
|
ringing the bell.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, there are so many superior teas and sugars now. Superior is
|
|
getting to be shopkeepers' slang."
|
|
|
|
"Are you beginning to dislike slang, then?" said Rosamond,
|
|
with mild gravity.
|
|
|
|
"Only the wrong sort. All choice of words is slang. It marks
|
|
a class."
|
|
|
|
"There is correct English: that is not slang."
|
|
|
|
"I beg your pardon: correct English is the slang of prigs who write
|
|
history and essays. And the strongest slang of all is the slang
|
|
of poets."
|
|
|
|
"You will say anything, Fred, to gain your point."
|
|
|
|
"Well, tell me whether it is slang or poetry to call an ox
|
|
a leg-plaiter."
|
|
|
|
"Of course you can call it poetry if you like."
|
|
|
|
"Aha, Miss Rosy, you don't know Homer from slang. I shall invent
|
|
a new game; I shall write bits of slang and poetry on slips,
|
|
and give them to you to separate."
|
|
|
|
"Dear me, how amusing it is to hear young people talk!" said Mrs. Vincy,
|
|
with cheerful admiration.
|
|
|
|
"Have you got nothing else for my breakfast, Pritchard?" said Fred,
|
|
to the servant who brought in coffee and buttered toast;
|
|
while he walked round the table surveying the ham, potted beef,
|
|
and other cold remnants, with an air of silent rejection, and polite
|
|
forbearance from signs of disgust.
|
|
|
|
"Should you like eggs, sir?"
|
|
|
|
"Eggs, no! Bring me a grilled bone."
|
|
|
|
"Really, Fred," said Rosamond, when the servant had left the room,
|
|
"if you must have hot things for breakfast, I wish you would come
|
|
down earlier. You can get up at six o'clock to go out hunting;
|
|
I cannot understand why you find it so difficult to get up on
|
|
other mornings."
|
|
|
|
"That is your want of understanding, Rosy. I can get up to go
|
|
hunting because I like it."
|
|
|
|
"What would you think of me if I came down two hours after every
|
|
one else and ordered grilled bone?"
|
|
|
|
"I should think you were an uncommonly fast young lady," said Fred,
|
|
eating his toast with the utmost composure.
|
|
|
|
"I cannot see why brothers are to make themselves disagreeable,
|
|
any more than sisters."
|
|
|
|
"I don't make myself disagreeable; it is you who find me so.
|
|
Disagreeable is a word that describes your feelings and not my actions."
|
|
|
|
"I think it describes the smell of grilled bone."
|
|
|
|
"Not at all. It describes a sensation in your little nose associated
|
|
with certain finicking notions which are the classics of Mrs. Lemon's
|
|
school. Look at my mother you don't see her objecting to everything
|
|
except what she does herself. She is my notion of a pleasant woman."
|
|
|
|
"Bless you both, my dears, and don't quarrel," said Mrs. Vincy,
|
|
with motherly cordiality. "Come, Fred, tell us all about the new doctor.
|
|
How is your uncle pleased with him?"
|
|
|
|
"Pretty well, I think. He asks Lydgate all sorts of questions and
|
|
then screws up his face while he hears the answers, as if they were
|
|
pinching his toes. That's his way. Ah, here comes my grilled bone."
|
|
|
|
"But how came you to stay out so late, my dear? You only said you
|
|
were going to your uncle's."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I dined at Plymdale's. We had whist. Lydgate was there too."
|
|
|
|
"And what do you think of him? He is very gentlemanly, I suppose.
|
|
They say he is of excellent family--his relations quite county people."
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Fred. "There was a Lydgate at John's who spent
|
|
no end of money. I find this man is a second cousin of his.
|
|
But rich men may have very poor devils for second cousins."
|
|
|
|
"It always makes a difference, though, to be of good family,"
|
|
said Rosamond, with a tone of decision which showed that she had thought
|
|
on this subject. Rosamond felt that she might have been happier
|
|
if she had not been the daughter of a Middlemarch manufacturer.
|
|
She disliked anything which reminded her that her mother's father had
|
|
been an innkeeper. Certainly any one remembering the fact might think
|
|
that Mrs. Vincy had the air of a very handsome good-humored landlady,
|
|
accustomed to the most capricious orders of gentlemen.
|
|
|
|
"I thought it was odd his name was Tertius," said the
|
|
bright-faced matron, "but of course it's a name in the family.
|
|
But now, tell us exactly what sort of man he is."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, tallish, dark, clever--talks well--rather a prig, I think."
|
|
|
|
"I never can make out what you mean by a prig," said Rosamond.
|
|
|
|
"A fellow who wants to show that he has opinions."
|
|
|
|
"Why, my dear, doctors must have opinions," said Mrs. Vincy.
|
|
"What are they there for else?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, mother, the opinions they are paid for. But a prig
|
|
is a fellow who is always making you a present of his opinions."
|
|
|
|
"I suppose Mary Garth admires Mr. Lydgate," said Rosamond,
|
|
not without a touch of innuendo.
|
|
|
|
"Really, I can't say." said Fred, rather glumly, as he left
|
|
the table, and taking up a novel which he had brought down with him,
|
|
threw himself into an arm-chair. "If you are jealous of her,
|
|
go oftener to Stone Court yourself and eclipse her."
|
|
|
|
"I wish you would not be so vulgar, Fred. If you have finished,
|
|
pray ring the bell."
|
|
|
|
"It is true, though--what your brother says, Rosamond," Mrs. Vincy began,
|
|
when the servant had cleared the table. "It is a thousand pities
|
|
you haven't patience to go and see your uncle more, so proud
|
|
of you as he is, and wanted you to live with him. There's no
|
|
knowing what he might have done for you as well as for Fred.
|
|
God knows, I'm fond of having you at home with me, but I can part
|
|
with my children for their good. And now it stands to reason
|
|
that your uncle Featherstone will do something for Mary Garth."
|
|
|
|
"Mary Garth can bear being at Stone Court, because she likes that
|
|
better than being a governess," said Rosamond, folding up her work.
|
|
"I would rather not have anything left to me if I must earn it
|
|
by enduring much of my uncle's cough and his ugly relations."
|
|
|
|
"He can't be long for this world, my dear; I wouldn't hasten his end,
|
|
but what with asthma and that inward complaint, let us hope there
|
|
is something better for him in another. And I have no ill-will
|
|
toward's Mary Garth, but there's justice to be thought of.
|
|
And Mr. Featherstone's first wife brought him no money, as my sister did.
|
|
Her nieces and nephews can't have so much claim as my sister's.
|
|
And I must say I think Mary Garth a dreadful plain girl--more fit
|
|
for a governess."
|
|
|
|
"Every one would not agree with you there, mother," said Fred,
|
|
who seemed to be able to read and listen too.
|
|
|
|
"Well, my dear," said Mrs. Vincy, wheeling skilfully, "if she
|
|
HAD some fortune left her,--a man marries his wife's relations,
|
|
and the Garths are so poor, and live in such a small way.
|
|
But I shall leave you to your studies, my dear; for I must go and do
|
|
some shopping."
|
|
|
|
"Fred's studies are not very deep," said Rosamond, rising with
|
|
her mamma, "he is only reading a novel."
|
|
|
|
"Well, well, by-and-by he'll go to his Latin and things,"
|
|
said Mrs. Vincy, soothingly, stroking her son's head. "There's a
|
|
fire in the smoking-room on purpose. It's your father's wish,
|
|
you know--Fred, my dear--and I always tell him you will be good,
|
|
and go to college again to take your degree."
|
|
|
|
Fred drew his mother's hand down to his lips, but said nothing.
|
|
|
|
"I suppose you are not going out riding to-day?" said Rosamond,
|
|
lingering a little after her mamma was gone.
|
|
|
|
"No; why?"
|
|
|
|
"Papa says I may have the chestnut to ride now."
|
|
|
|
"You can go with me to-morrow, if you like. Only I am going
|
|
to Stone Court, remember."
|
|
|
|
"I want to ride so much, it is indifferent to me where we go."
|
|
Rosamond really wished to go to Stone Court, of all other places.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I say, Rosy," said Fred, as she was passing out of the room,
|
|
"if you are going to the piano, let me come and play some airs
|
|
with you."
|
|
|
|
"Pray do not ask me this morning."
|
|
|
|
"Why not this morning?"
|
|
|
|
"Really, Fred, I wish you would leave off playing the flute.
|
|
A man looks very silly playing the flute. And you play so out
|
|
of tune."
|
|
|
|
"When next any one makes love to you, Miss Rosamond, I will tell
|
|
him how obliging you are."
|
|
|
|
"Why should you expect me to oblige you by hearing you play the flute,
|
|
any more than I should expect you to oblige me by not playing it?"
|
|
|
|
"And why should you expect me to take you out riding?"
|
|
|
|
This question led to an adjustment, for Rosamond had set her mind
|
|
on that particular ride.
|
|
|
|
So Fred was gratified with nearly an hour's practice of "Ar hyd y nos,"
|
|
"Ye banks and braes," and other favorite airs from his "Instructor
|
|
on the Flute;" a wheezy performance, into which he threw much
|
|
ambition and an irrepressible hopefulness.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"He had more tow on his distaffe
|
|
Than Gerveis knew."
|
|
--CHAUCER.
|
|
|
|
|
|
The ride to Stone Court, which Fred and Rosamond took the next morning,
|
|
lay through a pretty bit of midland landscape, almost all meadows
|
|
and pastures, with hedgerows still allowed to grow in bushy beauty
|
|
and to spread out coral fruit for the birds. Little details gave
|
|
each field a particular physiognomy, dear to the eyes that have looked
|
|
on them from childhood: the pool in the corner where the grasses
|
|
were dank and trees leaned whisperingly; the great oak shadowing
|
|
a bare place in mid-pasture; the high bank where the ash-trees grew;
|
|
the sudden slope of the old marl-pit making a red background for
|
|
the burdock; the huddled roofs and ricks of the homestead without
|
|
a traceable way of approach; the gray gate and fences against
|
|
the depths of the bordering wood; and the stray hovel, its old,
|
|
old thatch full of mossy hills and valleys with wondrous modulations
|
|
of light and shadow such as we travel far to see in later life,
|
|
and see larger, but not more beautiful. These are the things
|
|
that make the gamut of joy in landscape to midland-bred souls--the
|
|
things they toddled among, or perhaps learned by heart standing
|
|
between their father's knees while he drove leisurely.
|
|
|
|
But the road, even the byroad, was excellent; for Lowick, as we
|
|
have seen, was not a parish of muddy lanes and poor tenants; and it
|
|
was into Lowick parish that Fred and Rosamond entered after a couple
|
|
of miles' riding. Another mile would bring them to Stone Court,
|
|
and at the end of the first half, the house was already visible,
|
|
looking as if it had been arrested in its growth toward a stone
|
|
mansion by an unexpected budding of farm-buildings on its left flank,
|
|
which had hindered it from becoming anything more than the substantial
|
|
dwelling of a gentleman farmer. It was not the less agreeable
|
|
an object in the distance for the cluster of pinnacled corn-ricks
|
|
which balanced the fine row of walnuts on the right.
|
|
|
|
Presently it was possible to discern something that might be a gig
|
|
on the circular drive before the front door.
|
|
|
|
"Dear me," said Rosamond, "I hope none of my uncle's horrible
|
|
relations are there."
|
|
|
|
"They are, though. That is Mrs. Waule's gig--the last yellow gig left,
|
|
I should think. When I see Mrs. Waule in it, I understand how yellow
|
|
can have been worn for mourning. That gig seems to me more funereal
|
|
than a hearse. But then Mrs. Waule always has black crape on.
|
|
How does she manage it, Rosy? Her friends can't always be dying."
|
|
|
|
"I don't know at all. And she is not in the least evangelical,"
|
|
said Rosamond, reflectively, as if that religious point of view
|
|
would have fully accounted for perpetual crape. "And, not poor,"
|
|
she added, after a moment's pause.
|
|
|
|
"No, by George! They are as rich as Jews, those Waules and Featherstones;
|
|
I mean, for people like them, who don't want to spend anything.
|
|
And yet they hang about my uncle like vultures, and are afraid
|
|
of a farthing going away from their side of the family. But I
|
|
believe he hates them all."
|
|
|
|
The Mrs. Waule who was so far from being admirable in the eyes
|
|
of these distant connections, had happened to say this very morning
|
|
(not at all with a defiant air, but in a low, muffied, neutral tone,
|
|
as of a voice heard through cotton wool) that she did not wish "to
|
|
enjoy their good opinion." She was seated, as she observed, on her own
|
|
brother's hearth, and had been Jane Featherstone five-and-twenty years
|
|
before she had been Jane Waule, which entitled her to speak when her
|
|
own brother's name had been made free with by those who had no right to it.
|
|
|
|
"What are you driving at there?" said Mr. Featherstone,
|
|
holding his stick between his knees and settling his wig,
|
|
while he gave her a momentary sharp glance, which seemed
|
|
to react on him like a draught of cold air and set him coughing.
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Waule had to defer her answer till he was quiet again,
|
|
till Mary Garth had supplied him with fresh syrup, and he had begun
|
|
to rub the gold knob of his stick, looking bitterly at the fire.
|
|
It was a bright fire, but it made no difference to the chill-looking
|
|
purplish tint of Mrs. Waule's face, which was as neutral as her voice;
|
|
having mere chinks for eyes, and lips that hardly moved in speaking.
|
|
|
|
"The doctors can't master that cough, brother. It's just like what I have;
|
|
for I'm your own sister, constitution and everything. But, as I
|
|
was saying, it's a pity Mrs. Vincy's family can't be better conducted."
|
|
|
|
"Tchah! you said nothing o' the sort. You said somebody had made
|
|
free with my name."
|
|
|
|
"And no more than can be proved, if what everybody says is true.
|
|
My brother Solomon tells me it's the talk up and down in Middlemarch
|
|
how unsteady young Vincy is, and has been forever gambling at
|
|
billiards since home he came."
|
|
|
|
"Nonsense! What's a game at billiards? It's a good gentlemanly game;
|
|
and young Vincy is not a clodhopper. If your son John took
|
|
to billiards, now, he'd make a fool of himself."
|
|
|
|
"Your nephew John never took to billiards or any other game, brother,
|
|
and is far from losing hundreds of pounds, which, if what everybody
|
|
says is true, must be found somewhere else than out of Mr. Vincy
|
|
the father's pocket. For they say he's been losing money for years,
|
|
though nobody would think so, to see him go coursing and keeping open
|
|
house as they do. And I've heard say Mr. Bulstrode condemns Mrs. Vincy
|
|
beyond anything for her flightiness, and spoiling her children so."!
|
|
|
|
"What's Bulstrode to me? I don't bank with him."
|
|
|
|
"Well, Mrs. Bulstrode is Mr. Vincy's own sister, and they do say that
|
|
Mr. Vincy mostly trades on the Bank money; and you may see yourself,
|
|
brother, when a woman past forty has pink strings always flying,
|
|
and that light way of laughing at everything, it's very unbecoming.
|
|
But indulging your children is one thing, and finding money to pay
|
|
their debts is another. And it's openly said that young Vincy has
|
|
raised money on his expectations. I don't say what expectations.
|
|
Miss Garth hears me, and is welcome to tell again. I know young
|
|
people hang together."
|
|
|
|
"No, thank you, Mrs. Waule," said Mary Garth. "I dislike hearing
|
|
scandal too much to wish to repeat it."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Featherstone rubbed the knob of his stick and made a brief
|
|
convulsive show of laughter, which had much the same genuineness
|
|
as an old whist-player's chuckle over a bad hand. Still looking
|
|
at the fire, he said--
|
|
|
|
"And who pretends to say Fred Vincy hasn't got expectations? Such
|
|
a fine, spirited fellow is like enough to have 'em."
|
|
|
|
There was a slight pause before Mrs. Waule replied, and when she
|
|
did so, her voice seemed to be slightly moistened with tears,
|
|
though her face was still dry.
|
|
|
|
"Whether or no, brother, it is naturally painful to me and my brother
|
|
Solomon to hear your name made free with, and your complaint being such
|
|
as may carry you off sudden, and people who are no more Featherstones
|
|
than the Merry-Andrew at the fair, openly reckoning on your property
|
|
coming to THEM. And me your own sister, and Solomon your own
|
|
brother! And if that's to be it, what has it pleased the Almighty
|
|
to make families for?" Here Mrs. Waule's tears fell, but with moderation.
|
|
|
|
"Come, out with it, Jane!" said Mr. Featherstone, looking at her.
|
|
"You mean to say, Fred Vincy has been getting somebody to advance him
|
|
money on what he says he knows about my will, eh?"
|
|
|
|
"I never said so, brother" (Mrs. Waule's voice had again become dry
|
|
and unshaken). "It was told me by my brother Solomon last night when
|
|
he called coming from market to give me advice about the old wheat,
|
|
me being a widow, and my son John only three-and-twenty, though steady
|
|
beyond anything. And he had it from most undeniable authority,
|
|
and not one, but many."
|
|
|
|
"Stuff and nonsense! I don't believe a word of it. It's all a
|
|
got-up story. Go to the window, missy; I thought I heard a horse.
|
|
See if the doctor's coming."
|
|
|
|
"Not got up by me, brother, nor yet by Solomon, who, whatever else he
|
|
may be--and I don't deny he has oddities--has made his will and parted
|
|
his property equal between such kin as he's friends with; though,
|
|
for my part, I think there are times when some should be considered
|
|
more than others. But Solomon makes it no secret what he means to do."
|
|
|
|
"The more fool he!" said Mr. Featherstone, with some difficulty;
|
|
breaking into a severe fit of coughing that required Mary Garth
|
|
to stand near him, so that she did not find out whose horses they
|
|
were which presently paused stamping on the gravel before the door.
|
|
|
|
Before Mr. Featherstone's cough was quiet, Rosamond entered,
|
|
bearing up her riding-habit with much grace. She bowed ceremoniously
|
|
to Mrs. Waule, who said stiffly, "How do you do, miss?" smiled and
|
|
nodded silently to Mary, and remained standing till the coughing
|
|
should cease, and allow her uncle to notice her.
|
|
|
|
"Heyday, miss!" he said at last, "you have a fine color.
|
|
Where's Fred?"
|
|
|
|
"Seeing about the horses. He will be in presently."
|
|
|
|
"Sit down, sit down. Mrs. Waule, you'd better go."
|
|
|
|
Even those neighbors who had called Peter Featherstone an old fox,
|
|
had never accused him of being insincerely polite, and his sister
|
|
was quite used to the peculiar absence of ceremony with which he
|
|
marked his sense of blood-relationship. Indeed, she herself was
|
|
accustomed to think that entire freedom from the necessity of behaving
|
|
agreeably was included in the Almighty's intentions about families.
|
|
She rose slowly without any sign of resentment, and said in her
|
|
usual muffled monotone, "Brother, I hope the new doctor will be
|
|
able to do something for you. Solomon says there's great talk
|
|
of his cleverness. I'm sure it's my wish you should be spared.
|
|
And there's none more ready to nurse you than your own sister
|
|
and your own nieces, if you'd only say the word. There's Rebecca,
|
|
and Joanna, and Elizabeth, you know."
|
|
|
|
"Ay, ay, I remember--you'll see I've remembered 'em all--all
|
|
dark and ugly. They'd need have some money, eh? There never was
|
|
any beauty in the women of our family; but the Featherstones have
|
|
always had some money, and the Waules too. Waule had money too.
|
|
A warm man was Waule. Ay, ay; money's a good egg; and if you
|
|
've got money to leave behind you, lay it in a warm nest.
|
|
Good-by, Mrs. Waule." Here Mr. Featherstone pulled at both sides
|
|
of his wig as if he wanted to deafen himself, and his sister went
|
|
away ruminating on this oracular speech of his. Notwithstanding her
|
|
jealousy of the Vincys and of Mary Garth, there remained as the
|
|
nethermost sediment in her mental shallows a persuasion that her
|
|
brother Peter Featherstone could never leave his chief property
|
|
away from his blood-relations:--else, why had the Almighty carried
|
|
off his two wives both childless, after he had gained so much
|
|
by manganese and things, turning up when nobody expected it?--and
|
|
why was there a Lowick parish church, and the Waules and Powderells
|
|
all sit ting in the same pew for generations, and the Featherstone
|
|
pew next to them, if, the Sunday after her brother Peter's death,
|
|
everybody was to know that the property was gone out of the
|
|
family? The human mind has at no period accepted a moral chaos;
|
|
and so preposterous a result was not strictly conceivable.
|
|
But we are frightened at much that is not strictly conceivable.
|
|
|
|
When Fred came in the old man eyed him with a peculiar twinkle,
|
|
which the younger had often had reason to interpret as pride in the
|
|
satisfactory details of his appearance.
|
|
|
|
"You two misses go away," said Mr. Featherstone. "I want to speak
|
|
to Fred."
|
|
|
|
"Come into my room, Rosamond, you will not mind the cold for a
|
|
little while," said Mary. The two girls had not only known each
|
|
other in childhood, but had been at the same provincial school
|
|
together (Mary as an articled pupil), so that they had many memories
|
|
in common, and liked very well to talk in private. Indeed, this
|
|
tete-a-tete was one of Rosamond's objects in coming to Stone Court.
|
|
|
|
Old Featherstone would not begin the dialogue till the door had
|
|
been closed. He continued to look at Fred with the same twinkle
|
|
and with one of his habitual grimaces, alternately screwing
|
|
and widening his mouth; and when he spoke, it was in a low tone,
|
|
which might be taken for that of an informer ready to be bought off,
|
|
rather than for the tone of an offended senior. He was not a man
|
|
to feel any strong moral indignation even on account of trespasses
|
|
against himself. It was natural that others should want to get
|
|
an advantage over him, but then, he was a little too cunning for them.
|
|
|
|
"So, sir, you've been paying ten per cent for money which you've
|
|
promised to pay off by mortgaging my land when I'm dead and gone,
|
|
eh? You put my life at a twelvemonth, say. But I can alter my
|
|
will yet."
|
|
|
|
Fred blushed. He had not borrowed money in that way, for excellent
|
|
reasons. But he was conscious of having spoken with some confidence
|
|
(perhaps with more than he exactly remembered) about his prospect
|
|
of getting Featherstone's land as a future means of paying present debts.
|
|
|
|
"I don't know what you refer to, sir. I have certainly never
|
|
borrowed any money on such an insecurity. Please to explain."
|
|
|
|
"No, sir, it's you must explain. I can alter my will yet, let me
|
|
tell you. I'm of sound mind--can reckon compound interest in my head,
|
|
and remember every fool's name as well as I could twenty years ago.
|
|
What the deuce? I'm under eighty. I say, you must contradict
|
|
this story."
|
|
|
|
"I have contradicted it, sir," Fred answered, with a touch
|
|
of impatience, not remembering that his uncle did not verbally
|
|
discriminate contradicting from disproving, though no one was further
|
|
from confounding the two ideas than old Featherstone, who often
|
|
wondered that so many fools took his own assertions for proofs.
|
|
"But I contradict it again. The story is a silly lie."
|
|
|
|
"Nonsense! you must bring dockiments. It comes from authority."
|
|
|
|
"Name the authority, and make him name the man of whom I borrowed
|
|
the money, and then I can disprove the story."
|
|
|
|
"It's pretty good authority, I think--a man who knows most
|
|
of what goes on in Middlemarch. It's that fine, religious,
|
|
charitable uncle o' yours. Come now!" Here Mr. Featherstone
|
|
had his peculiar inward shake which signified merriment.
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Bulstrode?"
|
|
|
|
"Who else, eh?"
|
|
|
|
"Then the story has grown into this lie out of some sermonizing
|
|
words he may have let fall about me. Do they pretend that he named
|
|
the man who lent me the money?"
|
|
|
|
"If there is such a man, depend upon it Bulstrode knows him.
|
|
But, supposing you only tried to get the money lent, and didn't
|
|
get it--Bulstrode 'ud know that too. You bring me a writing
|
|
from Bulstrode to say he doesn't believe you've ever promised
|
|
to pay your debts out o' my land. Come now!"
|
|
|
|
Mr. Featherstone's face required its whole scale of grimaces as a
|
|
muscular outlet to his silent triumph in the soundness of his faculties.
|
|
|
|
Fred felt himself to be in a disgusting dilemma.
|
|
|
|
"You must be joking, sir. Mr. Bulstrode, like other men, believes scores
|
|
of things that are not true, and he has a prejudice against me.
|
|
I could easily get him to write that he knew no facts in proof
|
|
of the report you speak of, though it might lead to unpleasantness.
|
|
But I could hardly ask him to write down what he believes or does
|
|
not believe about me." Fred paused an instant, and then added,
|
|
in politic appeal to his uncle's vanity, "That is hardly a thing
|
|
for a gentleman to ask." But he was disappointed in the result.
|
|
|
|
"Ay, I know what you mean. You'd sooner offend me than Bulstrode.
|
|
And what's he?--he's got no land hereabout that ever I heard tell of.
|
|
A speckilating fellow! He may come down any day, when the devil
|
|
leaves off backing him. And that's what his religion means: he
|
|
wants God A'mighty to come in. That's nonsense! There's one
|
|
thing I made out pretty clear when I used to go to church--and
|
|
it's this: God A'mighty sticks to the land. He promises land,
|
|
and He gives land, and He makes chaps rich with corn and cattle.
|
|
But you take the other side. You like Bulstrode and speckilation
|
|
better than Featherstone and land."
|
|
|
|
"I beg your pardon, sir," said Fred, rising, standing with his
|
|
back to the fire and beating his boot with his whip. "I like
|
|
neither Bulstrode nor speculation." He spoke rather sulkily,
|
|
feeling himself stalemated.
|
|
|
|
"Well, well, you can do without me, that's pretty clear,"
|
|
said old Featherstone, secretly disliking the possibility that Fred
|
|
would show himself at all independent. "You neither want a bit
|
|
of land to make a squire of you instead of a starving parson,
|
|
nor a lift of a hundred pound by the way. It's all one to me.
|
|
I can make five codicils if I like, and I shall keep my bank-notes
|
|
for a nest-egg. It's all one to me."
|
|
|
|
Fred colored again. Featherstone had rarely given him presents
|
|
of money, and at this moment it seemed almost harder to part with
|
|
the immediate prospect of bank-notes than with the more distant
|
|
prospect of the land.
|
|
|
|
"I am not ungrateful, sir. I never meant to show disregard for
|
|
any kind intentions you might have towards me. On the contrary."
|
|
|
|
"Very good. Then prove it. You bring me a letter from Bulstrode
|
|
saying he doesn't believe you've been cracking and promising
|
|
to pay your debts out o' my land, and then, if there's any
|
|
scrape you've got into, we'll see if I can't back you a bit.
|
|
Come now! That's a bargain. Here, give me your arm. I'll try
|
|
and walk round the room."
|
|
|
|
Fred, in spite of his irritation, had kindness enough in him to be
|
|
a little sorry for the unloved, unvenerated old man, who with his
|
|
dropsical legs looked more than usually pitiable in walking.
|
|
While giving his arm, he thought that he should not himself
|
|
like to be an old fellow with his constitution breaking up;
|
|
and he waited good-temperedly, first before the window to hear
|
|
the wonted remarks about the guinea-fowls and the weather-cock,
|
|
and then before the scanty book-shelves, of which the chief glories
|
|
in dark calf were Josephus, Culpepper, Klopstock's "Messiah,"
|
|
and several volumes of the "Gentleman's Magazine."
|
|
|
|
"Read me the names o' the books. Come now! you're a college man."
|
|
|
|
Fred gave him the titles.
|
|
|
|
"What did missy want with more books? What must you be bringing
|
|
her more books for?"
|
|
|
|
"They amuse her, sir. She is very fond of reading."
|
|
|
|
"A little too fond," said Mr. Featherstone, captiously. "She was
|
|
for reading when she sat with me. But I put a stop to that.
|
|
She's got the newspaper to read out loud. That's enough for one day,
|
|
I should think. I can't abide to see her reading to herself.
|
|
You mind and not bring her any more books, do you hear?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, sir, I hear." Fred had received this order before, and had
|
|
secretly disobeyed it. He intended to disobey it again.
|
|
|
|
"Ring the bell," said Mr. Featherstone; "I want missy to come down."
|
|
|
|
Rosamond and Mary had been talking faster than their male friends.
|
|
They did not think of sitting down, but stood at the toilet-table
|
|
near the window while Rosamond took off her hat, adjusted her veil,
|
|
and applied little touches of her finger-tips to her hair--hair
|
|
of infantine fairness, neither flaxen nor yellow. Mary Garth
|
|
seemed all the plainer standing at an angle between the two
|
|
nymphs--the one in the glass, and the one out of it, who looked
|
|
at each other with eyes of heavenly blue, deep enough to hold the
|
|
most exquisite meanings an ingenious beholder could put into them,
|
|
and deep enough to hide the meanings of the owner if these should
|
|
happen to be less exquisite. Only a few children in Middlemarch
|
|
looked blond by the side of Rosamond, and the slim figure displayed
|
|
by her riding-habit had delicate undulations. In fact, most men
|
|
in Middlemarch, except her brothers, held that Miss Vincy was the
|
|
best girl in the world, and some called her an angel. Mary Garth,
|
|
on the contrary, had the aspect of an ordinary sinner: she was brown;
|
|
her curly dark hair was rough and stubborn; her stature was low;
|
|
and it would not be true to declare, in satisfactory antithesis,
|
|
that she had all the virtues. Plainness has its peculiar
|
|
temptations and vices quite as much as beauty; it is apt either to
|
|
feign amiability, or, not feigning it, to show all the repulsive ness
|
|
of discontent: at any rate, to be called an ugly thing in contrast
|
|
with that lovely creature your companion, is apt to produce some
|
|
effect beyond a sense of fine veracity and fitness in the phrase.
|
|
At the age of two-and-twenty Mary had certainly not attained that
|
|
perfect good sense and good principle which are usually recommended
|
|
to the less fortunate girl, as if they were to be obtained in
|
|
quantities ready mixed, with a flavor of resignation as required.
|
|
Her shrewdness had a streak of satiric bitterness continually
|
|
renewed and never carried utterly out of sight, except by a strong
|
|
current of gratitude towards those who, instead of telling her
|
|
that she ought to be contented, did something to make her so.
|
|
Advancing womanhood had tempered her plainness, which was of a good
|
|
human sort, such as the mothers of our race have very commonly
|
|
worn in all latitudes under a more or less becoming headgear.
|
|
Rembrandt would have painted her with pleasure, and would have made
|
|
her broad features look out of the canvas with intelligent honesty.
|
|
For honesty, truth-telling fairness, was Mary's reigning virtue:
|
|
she neither tried to create illusions, nor indulged in them for her
|
|
own behoof, and when she was in a good mood she had humor enough
|
|
in her to laugh at herself. When she and Rosamond happened both to be
|
|
reflected in the glass, she said, laughingly--
|
|
|
|
"What a brown patch I am by the side of you, Rosy! You are
|
|
the most unbecoming companion."
|
|
|
|
"Oh no! No one thinks of your appearance, you are so sensible
|
|
and useful, Mary. Beauty is of very little consequence in reality,"
|
|
said Rosamond, turning her head towards Mary, but with eyes swerving
|
|
towards the new view of her neck in the glass.
|
|
|
|
"You mean my beauty," said Mary, rather sardonically.
|
|
|
|
Rosamond thought, "Poor Mary, she takes the kindest things ill."
|
|
Aloud she said, "What have you been doing lately?"
|
|
|
|
"I? Oh, minding the house--pouring out syrup--pretending to be
|
|
amiable and contented--learning to have a bad opinion of everybody."
|
|
|
|
"It is a wretched life for you."
|
|
|
|
"No," said Mary, curtly, with a little toss of her head. "I think
|
|
my life is pleasanter than your Miss Morgan's."
|
|
|
|
"Yes; but Miss Morgan is so uninteresting, and not young."
|
|
|
|
"She is interesting to herself, I suppose; and I am not at all sure
|
|
that everything gets easier as one gets older."
|
|
|
|
"No," said Rosamond, reflectively; "one wonders what such people do,
|
|
without any prospect. To be sure, there is religion as a support.
|
|
But," she added, dimpling, "it is very different with you,'Mary.
|
|
You may have an offer."
|
|
|
|
"Has any one told you he means to make me one?"
|
|
|
|
"Of course not. I mean, there is a gentleman who may fall in love
|
|
with you, seeing you almost every day."
|
|
|
|
A certain change in Mary's face was chiefly determined by the resolve
|
|
not to show any change.
|
|
|
|
"Does that always make people fall in love?" she answered, carelessly;
|
|
"it seems to me quite as often a reason for detesting each other."
|
|
|
|
"Not when they are interesting and agreeable. I hear that Mr. Lydgate
|
|
is both."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, Mr. Lydgate!" said Mary, with an unmistakable lapse
|
|
into indifference. "You want to know something about him,"
|
|
she added, not choosing to indulge Rosamond's indirectness.
|
|
|
|
"Merely, how you like him."
|
|
|
|
"There is no question of liking at present. My liking always wants
|
|
some little kindness to kindle it. I am not magnanimous enough
|
|
to like people who speak to me without seeming to see me."
|
|
|
|
"Is he so haughty?" said Rosamond, with heightened satisfaction.
|
|
"You know that he is of good family?"
|
|
|
|
"No; he did not give that as a reason."
|
|
|
|
"Mary! you are the oddest girl. But what sort of looking man
|
|
is he? Describe him to me."
|
|
|
|
"How can one describe a man? I can give you an inventory: heavy eyebrows,
|
|
dark eyes, a straight nose, thick dark hair, large solid white
|
|
hands--and--let me see--oh, an exquisite cambric pocket-handkerchief.
|
|
But you will see him. You know this is about the time of his visits."
|
|
|
|
Rosamond blushed a little, but said, meditatively, "I rather
|
|
like a haughty manner. I cannot endure a rattling young man."
|
|
|
|
"I did not tell you that Mr. Lydgate was haughty; but il y en
|
|
a pour tous les gouts, as little Mamselle used to say, and if any
|
|
girl can choose the particular sort of conceit she would like,
|
|
I should think it is you, Rosy."
|
|
|
|
"Haughtiness is not conceit; I call Fred conceited."
|
|
|
|
"I wish no one said any worse of him. He should be more careful.
|
|
Mrs. Waule has been telling uncle that Fred is very unsteady."
|
|
Mary spoke from a girlish impulse which got the better of her judgment.
|
|
There was a vague uneasiness associated with the word "unsteady"
|
|
which she hoped Rosamond might say something to dissipate.
|
|
But she purposely abstained from mentioning Mrs. Waule's more
|
|
special insinuation.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, Fred is horrid!" said Rosamond. She would not have allowed
|
|
herself so unsuitable a word to any one but Mary.
|
|
|
|
"What do you mean by horrid?"
|
|
|
|
"He is so idle, and makes papa so angry, and says he will not
|
|
take orders."
|
|
|
|
"I think Fred is quite right."
|
|
|
|
"How can you say he is quite right, Mary? I thought you had more
|
|
sense of religion."
|
|
|
|
"He is not fit to be a clergyman."
|
|
|
|
"But he ought to be fit."--"Well, then, he is not what he ought to be.
|
|
I know some other people who are in the same case."
|
|
|
|
"But no one approves of them. I should not like to marry a clergyman;
|
|
but there must be clergymen."
|
|
|
|
"It does not follow that Fred must be one."
|
|
|
|
"But when papa has been at the expense of educating him for it!
|
|
And only suppose, if he should have no fortune left him?"
|
|
|
|
"I can suppose that very well," said Mary, dryly.
|
|
|
|
"Then I wonder you can defend Fred," said Rosamond, inclined to push
|
|
this point.
|
|
|
|
"I don't defend him," said Mary, laughing; "I would defend any
|
|
parish from having him for a clergyman."
|
|
|
|
"But of course if he were a clergyman, he must be different."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, he would be a great hypocrite; and he is not that yet."
|
|
|
|
"It is of no use saying anything to you, Mary. You always take
|
|
Fred's part."
|
|
|
|
"Why should I not take his part?" said Mary, lighting up.
|
|
"He would take mine. He is the only person who takes the least
|
|
trouble to oblige me."
|
|
|
|
"You make me feel very uncomfortable, Mary," said Rosamond,
|
|
with her gravest mildness; "I would not tell mamma for the world."
|
|
|
|
"What would you not tell her?" said Mary, angrily.
|
|
|
|
"Pray do not go into a rage, Mary," said Rosamond, mildly as ever.
|
|
|
|
"If your mamma is afraid that Fred will make me an offer, tell her
|
|
that I would not marry him if he asked me. But he is not going
|
|
to do so, that I am aware. He certainly never has asked me."
|
|
|
|
"Mary, you are always so violent."
|
|
|
|
"And you are always so exasperating."
|
|
|
|
"I? What can you blame me for?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, blameless people are always the most exasperating. There is
|
|
the bell--I think we must go down."
|
|
|
|
"I did not mean to quarrel," said Rosamond, putting on her hat.
|
|
|
|
"Quarrel? Nonsense; we have not quarrelled. If one is not to get
|
|
into a rage sometimes, what is the good of being friends?"
|
|
|
|
"Am I to repeat what you have said?" "Just as you please. I never
|
|
say what I am afraid of having repeated. But let us go down."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Lydgate was rather late this morning, but the visitors stayed long
|
|
enough to see him; for Mr. Featherstone asked Rosamond to sing to him,
|
|
and she herself was-so kind as to propose a second favorite song
|
|
of his--"Flow on, thou shining river"--after she had sung "Home,
|
|
sweet home" (which she detested). This hard-headed old Overreach
|
|
approved of the sentimental song, as the suitable garnish for girls,
|
|
and also as fundamentally fine, sentiment being the right thing
|
|
for a song.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Featherstone was still applauding the last performance,
|
|
and assuring missy that her voice was as clear as a blackbird's,
|
|
when Mr. Lydgate's horse passed the window.
|
|
|
|
His dull expectation of the usual disagreeable routine with an aged
|
|
patient--who can hardly believe that medicine would not "set him up"
|
|
if the doctor were only clever enough--added to his general disbelief
|
|
in Middlemarch charms, made a doubly effective background to this
|
|
vision of Rosamond, whom old Featherstone made haste ostentatiously
|
|
to introduce as his niece, though he had never thought it worth
|
|
while to speak of Mary Garth in that light. Nothing escaped
|
|
Lydgate in Rosamond's graceful behavior: how delicately she waived
|
|
the notice which the old man's want of taste had thrust upon her
|
|
by a quiet gravity, not showing her dimples on the wrong occasion,
|
|
but showing them afterwards in speaking to Mary, to whom she
|
|
addressed herself with so much good-natured interest, that Lydgate,
|
|
after quickly examining Mary more fully than he had done before,
|
|
saw an adorable kindness in Rosamond's eyes. But Mary from some
|
|
cause looked rather out of temper.
|
|
|
|
"Miss Rosy has been singing me a song--you've nothing to say
|
|
against that, eh, doctor?" said Mr. Featherstone. "I like it
|
|
better than your physic."
|
|
|
|
"That has made me forget how the time was going," said Rosamond,
|
|
rising to reach her hat, which she had laid aside before singing,
|
|
so that her flower-like head on its white stem was seen in perfection
|
|
above-her riding-habit. "Fred, we must really go."
|
|
|
|
"Very good," said Fred, who had his own reasons for not being
|
|
in the best spirits, and wanted to get away.
|
|
|
|
"Miss Vincy is a musician?" said Lydgate, following her with his eyes.
|
|
(Every nerve and muscle in Rosamond was adjusted to the consciousness
|
|
that she was being looked at. She was by nature an actress of parts
|
|
that entered into her physique: she even acted her own character,
|
|
and so well, that she did not know it to be precisely her own.)
|
|
|
|
"The best in Middlemarch, I'll be bound," said Mr. Featherstone,
|
|
"let the next be who she will. Eh, Fred? Speak up for your sister."
|
|
|
|
"I'm afraid I'm out of court, sir. My evidence would be good
|
|
for nothing."
|
|
|
|
"Middlemarch has not a very high standard, uncle," said Rosamond,
|
|
with a pretty lightness, going towards her whip, which lay at
|
|
a distance.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate was quick in anticipating her. He reached the whip
|
|
before she did, and turned to present it to her. She bowed
|
|
and looked at him: he of course was looking at her, and their
|
|
eyes met with that peculiar meeting which is never arrived at
|
|
by effort, but seems like a sudden divine clearance of haze.
|
|
I think Lydgate turned a little paler than usual, but Rosamond
|
|
blushed deeply and felt a certain astonishment. After that,
|
|
she was really anxious to go, and did not know what sort of stupidity
|
|
her uncle was talking of when she went to shake hands with him.
|
|
|
|
Yet this result, which she took to be a mutual impression, called
|
|
falling in love, was just what Rosamond had contemplated beforehand.
|
|
Ever since that important new arrival in Middlemarch she had
|
|
woven a little future, of which something like this scene was
|
|
the necessary beginning. Strangers, whether wrecked and clinging
|
|
to a raft, or duly escorted and accompanied by portmanteaus,
|
|
have always had a circumstantial fascination for the virgin mind,
|
|
against which native merit has urged itself in vain. And a stranger
|
|
was absolutely necessary to Rosamond's social romance, which had
|
|
always turned on a lover and bridegroom who was not a Middlemarcher,
|
|
and who had no connections at all like her own: of late, indeed,
|
|
the construction seemed to demand that he should somehow be
|
|
related to a baronet. Now that she and the stranger had met,
|
|
reality proved much more moving than anticipation, and Rosamond
|
|
could not doubt that this was the great epoch of her life.
|
|
She judged of her own symptoms as those of awakening love, and she
|
|
held it still more natural that Mr. Lydgate should have fallen
|
|
in love at first sight of her. These things happened so often
|
|
at balls, and why not by the morning light, when the complexion
|
|
showed all the better for it? Rosamond, though no older than Mary,
|
|
was rather used to being fallen in love with; but she, for her part,
|
|
had remained indifferent and fastidiously critical towards both
|
|
fresh sprig and faded bachelor. And here was Mr. Lydgate suddenly
|
|
corresponding to her ideal, being altogether foreign to Middlemarch,
|
|
carrying a certain air of distinction congruous with good family,
|
|
and possessing connections which offered vistas of that middle-class heaven,
|
|
rank: a man of talent, also, whom it would be especially delightful
|
|
to enslave: in fact, a man who had touched her nature quite newly,
|
|
and brought a vivid interest into her life which was better than
|
|
any fancied "might-be" such as she was in the habit of opposing to the actual.
|
|
|
|
Thus, in riding home, both the brother and the sister were preoccupied
|
|
and inclined to be silent. Rosamond, whose basis for her structure
|
|
had the usual airy slightness, was of remarkably detailed and
|
|
realistic imagination when the foundation had been once presupposed;
|
|
and before they had ridden a mile she was far on in the costume
|
|
and introductions of her wedded life, having determined on her
|
|
house in Middle-march, and foreseen the visits she would pay
|
|
to her husband's high-bred relatives at a distance, whose finished
|
|
manners she could appropriate as thoroughly as she had done
|
|
her school accomplishments, preparing herself thus for vaguer
|
|
elevations which might ultimately come. There was nothing financial,
|
|
still less sordid, in her previsions: she cared about what were
|
|
considered refinements, and not about the money that was to pay for them.
|
|
|
|
Fred's mind, on the other hand, was busy with an anxiety which
|
|
even his ready hopefulness could not immediately quell. He saw
|
|
no way of eluding Featherstone's stupid demand without incurring
|
|
consequences which he liked less even than the task of fulfilling it.
|
|
His father was already out of humor with him, and would be still
|
|
more so if he were the occasion of any additional coolness between
|
|
his own family and the Bulstrodes. Then, he himself hated having
|
|
to go and speak to his uncle Bulstrode, and perhaps after drinking
|
|
wine he had said many foolish things about Featherstone's property,
|
|
and these had been magnified by report. Fred felt that he made
|
|
a wretched figure as a fellow who bragged about expectations from
|
|
a queer old miser like Featherstone, and went to beg for certificates
|
|
at his bidding. But--those expectations! He really had them,
|
|
and he saw no agreeable alternative if he gave them up; besides,
|
|
he had lately made a debt which galled him extremely, and old
|
|
Featherstone had almost bargained to pay it off. The whole affair
|
|
was miserably small: his debts were small, even his expectations
|
|
were not anything so very magnificent. Fred had known men to whom he
|
|
would have been ashamed of confessing the smallness of his scrapes.
|
|
Such ruminations naturally produced a streak of misanthropic bitterness.
|
|
To be born the son of a Middlemarch manufacturer, and inevitable
|
|
heir to nothing in particular, while such men as Mainwaring and
|
|
Vyan--certainly life was a poor business, when a spirited young fellow,
|
|
with a good appetite for the best of everything, had so poor an outlook.
|
|
|
|
It had not occurred to Fred that the introduction of Bulstrode's name
|
|
in the matter was a fiction of old Featherstone's; nor could this
|
|
have made any difference to his position. He saw plainly enough
|
|
that the old man wanted to exercise his power by tormenting him
|
|
a little, and also probably to get some satisfaction out of seeing
|
|
him on unpleasant terms with Bulstrode. Fred fancied that he saw
|
|
to the bottom of his uncle Featherstone's soul, though in reality half
|
|
what he saw there was no more than the reflex of his own inclinations.
|
|
The difficult task of knowing another soul is not for young
|
|
gentlemen whose consciousness is chiefly made up of their own wishes.
|
|
|
|
Fred's main point of debate with himself was, whether he should tell
|
|
his father, or try to get through the affair without his father's
|
|
knowledge. It was probably Mrs. Waule who had been talking about him;
|
|
and if Mary Garth had repeated Mrs. Waule's report to Rosamond,
|
|
it would be sure to reach his father, who would as surely question
|
|
him about it. He said to Rosamond, as they slackened their pace--
|
|
|
|
"Rosy, did Mary tell you that Mrs. Waule had said anything about me?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, indeed, she did."
|
|
|
|
"What?"
|
|
|
|
"That you were very unsteady."
|
|
|
|
"Was that all?"
|
|
|
|
"I should think that was enough, Fred."
|
|
|
|
"You are sure she said no more?"
|
|
|
|
"Mary mentioned nothing else. But really, Fred, I think you ought
|
|
to be ashamed."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, fudge! Don't lecture me. What did Mary say about it?"
|
|
|
|
"I am not obliged to tell you. You care so very much what Mary says,
|
|
and you are too rude to allow me to speak."
|
|
|
|
"Of course I care what Mary says. She is the best girl I know."
|
|
|
|
"I should never have thought she was a girl to fall in love with."
|
|
|
|
"How do you know what men would fall in love with? Girls never know."
|
|
|
|
"At least, Fred, let me advise YOU not to fall in love with her,
|
|
for she says she would not marry you if you asked her."
|
|
|
|
"She might have waited till I did ask her."
|
|
|
|
"I knew it would nettle you, Fred."
|
|
|
|
"Not at all. She would not have said so if you had not provoked her."
|
|
Before reaching home, Fred concluded that he would tell the whole
|
|
affair as simply as possible to his father, who might perhaps take
|
|
on himself the unpleasant business of speaking to Bulstrode.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
BOOK II.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
OLD AND YOUNG.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XIII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
1st Gent. How class your man?--as better than the most,
|
|
Or, seeming better, worse beneath that cloak?
|
|
As saint or knave, pilgrim or hypocrite?
|
|
2d Gent. Nay, tell me how you class your wealth of books
|
|
The drifted relics of all time.
|
|
As well sort them at once by size and livery:
|
|
Vellum, tall copies, and the common calf
|
|
Will hardly cover more diversity
|
|
Than all your labels cunningly devised
|
|
To class your unread authors.
|
|
|
|
|
|
In consequence of what he had heard from Fred, Mr. Vincy determined
|
|
to speak with Mr. Bulstrode in his private room at the Bank
|
|
at half-past one, when he was usually free from other callers.
|
|
But a visitor had come in at one o'clock, and Mr. Bulstrode had so
|
|
much to say to him, that there was little chance of the interview
|
|
being over in half an hour. The banker's speech was fluent,
|
|
but it was also copious, and he used up an appreciable amount
|
|
of time in brief meditative pauses. Do not imagine his sickly
|
|
aspect to have been of the yellow, black-haired sort: he had a pale
|
|
blond skin, thin gray-besprinkled brown hair, light-gray eyes,
|
|
and a large forehead. Loud men called his subdued tone an undertone,
|
|
and sometimes implied that it was inconsistent with openness;
|
|
though there seems to be no reason why a loud man should not be given
|
|
to concealment of anything except his own voice, unless it can be
|
|
shown that Holy Writ has placed the seat of candor in the lungs.
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode had also a deferential bending attitude in listening,
|
|
and an apparently fixed attentiveness in his eyes which made those
|
|
persons who thought themselves worth hearing infer that he was seeking
|
|
the utmost improvement from their discourse. Others, who expected
|
|
to make no great figure, disliked this kind of moral lantern turned
|
|
on them. If you are not proud of your cellar, there is no thrill of
|
|
satisfaction in seeing your guest hold up his wine-glass to the light
|
|
and look judicial. Such joys are reserved for conscious merit.
|
|
Hence Mr. Bulstrode's close attention was not agreeable to the
|
|
publicans and sinners in Middlemarch; it was attributed by some
|
|
to his being a Pharisee, and by others to his being Evangelical.
|
|
Less superficial reasoners among them wished to know who his father
|
|
and grandfather were, observing that five-and-twenty years ago nobody
|
|
had ever heard of a Bulstrode in Middlemarch. To his present visitor,
|
|
Lydgate, the scrutinizing look was a matter of indifference:
|
|
he simply formed an unfavorable opinion of the banker's constitution,
|
|
and concluded that he had an eager inward life with little enjoyment
|
|
of tangible things.
|
|
|
|
"I shall be exceedingly obliged if you will look in on me here
|
|
occasionally, Mr. Lydgate," the banker observed, after a brief pause.
|
|
"If, as I dare to hope, I have the privilege of finding you a
|
|
valuable coadjutor in the interesting matter of hospital management,
|
|
there will be many questions which we shall need to discuss
|
|
in private. As to the new hospital, which is nearly finished,
|
|
I shall consider what you have said about the advantages of the special
|
|
destination for fevers. The decision will rest with me, for though
|
|
Lord Medlicote has given the land and timber for the building,
|
|
he is not disposed to give his personal attention to the object."
|
|
|
|
"There are few things better worth the pains in a provincial town
|
|
like this," said Lydgate. "A fine fever hospital in addition
|
|
to the old infirmary might be the nucleus of a medical school here,
|
|
when once we get our medical reforms; and what would do more for
|
|
medical education than the spread of such schools over the country?
|
|
A born provincial man who has a grain of public spirit as well as a
|
|
few ideas, should do what he can to resist the rush of everything
|
|
that is a little better than common towards London. Any valid
|
|
professional aims may often find a freer, if not a richer field,
|
|
in the provinces."
|
|
|
|
One of Lydgate's gifts was a voice habitually deep and sonorous,
|
|
yet capable of becoming very low and gentle at the right moment.
|
|
About his ordinary bearing there was a certain fling, a fearless
|
|
expectation of success, a confidence in his own powers and integrity
|
|
much fortified by contempt for petty obstacles or seductions of which
|
|
he had had no experience. But this proud openness was made lovable
|
|
by an expression of unaffected good-will. Mr. Bulstrode perhaps liked
|
|
him the better for the difference between them in pitch and manners;
|
|
he certainly liked him the better, as Rosamond did, for being a stranger
|
|
in Middlemarch. One can begin so many things with a new person!--
|
|
even begin to be a better man.
|
|
|
|
"I shall rejoice to furnish your zeal with fuller opportunities,"
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode answered; "I mean, by confiding to you the superintendence
|
|
of my new hospital, should a maturer knowledge favor that issue,
|
|
for I am determined that so great an object shall not be shackled
|
|
by our two physicians. Indeed, I am encouraged to consider your
|
|
advent to this town as a gracious indication that a more manifest
|
|
blessing is now to be awarded to my efforts, which have hitherto
|
|
been much with stood. With regard to the old infirmary, we have
|
|
gained the initial point--I mean your election. And now I hope
|
|
you will not shrink from incurring a certain amount of jealousy
|
|
and dislike from your professional brethren by presenting yourself
|
|
as a reformer."
|
|
|
|
"I will not profess bravery," said Lydgate, smiling, "but I
|
|
acknowledge a good deal of pleasure in fighting, and I should not
|
|
care for my profession, if I did not believe that better methods
|
|
were to be found and enforced there as well as everywhere else."
|
|
|
|
"The standard of that profession is low in Middlemarch, my dear sir,"
|
|
said the banker. "I mean in knowledge and skill; not in social status,
|
|
for our medical men are most of them connected with respectable
|
|
townspeople here. My own imperfect health has induced me to give
|
|
some attention to those palliative resources which the divine
|
|
mercy has placed within our reach. I have consulted eminent men
|
|
in the metropolis, and I am painfully aware of the backwardness
|
|
under which medical treatment labors in our provincial districts."
|
|
|
|
"Yes;--with our present medical rules and education, one must
|
|
be satisfied now and then to meet with a fair practitioner.
|
|
As to all the higher questions which determine the starting-point
|
|
of a diagnosis--as to the philosophy of medial evidence--any glimmering
|
|
of these can only come from a scientific culture of which country
|
|
practitioners have usually no more notion than the man in the moon."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode, bending and looking intently, found the form
|
|
which Lydgate had given to his agreement not quite suited to
|
|
his comprehension. Under such circumstances a judicious man changes
|
|
the topic and enters on ground where his own gifts may be more useful.
|
|
|
|
"I am aware," he said, "that the peculiar bias of medical
|
|
ability is towards material means. Nevertheless, Mr. Lydgate,
|
|
I hope we shall not vary in sentiment as to a measure in which
|
|
you are not likely to be actively concerned, but in which your
|
|
sympathetic concurrence may be an aid to me. You recognize,
|
|
I hope; the existence of spiritual interests in your patients?"
|
|
|
|
"Certainly I do. But those words are apt to cover different
|
|
meanings to different minds."
|
|
|
|
"Precisely. And on such subjects wrong teaching is as fatal as
|
|
no teaching. Now a point which I have much at heart to secure is
|
|
a new regulation as to clerical attendance at the old infirmary.
|
|
The building stands in Mr. Farebrother's parish. You know
|
|
Mr. Farebrother?"
|
|
|
|
"I have seen him. He gave me his vote. I must call to thank him.
|
|
He seems a very bright pleasant little fellow. And I understand he
|
|
is a naturalist."
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Farebrother, my dear sir, is a man deeply painful to contemplate.
|
|
I suppose there is not a clergyman in this country who has
|
|
greater talents." Mr. Bulstrode paused and looked meditative.
|
|
|
|
"I have not yet been pained by finding any excessive talent
|
|
in Middlemarch," said Lydgate, bluntly.
|
|
|
|
"What I desire," Mr. Bulstrode continued, looking still more serious,
|
|
"is that Mr. Farebrother's attendance at the hospital should be
|
|
superseded by the appointment of a chaplain--of Mr. Tyke, in fact--
|
|
and that no other spiritual aid should be called in."
|
|
|
|
"As a medial man I could have no opinion on such a point unless I knew
|
|
Mr. Tyke, and even then I should require to know the cases in which
|
|
he was applied." Lydgate smiled, but he was bent on being circumspect.
|
|
|
|
"Of course you cannot enter fully into the merits of this measure
|
|
at present. But"--here Mr. Bulstrode began to speak with a more
|
|
chiselled emphasis--"the subject is likely to be referred to
|
|
the medical board of the infirmary, and what I trust I may ask
|
|
of you is, that in virtue of the cooperation between us which I
|
|
now look forward to, you will not, so far as you are concerned,
|
|
be influenced by my opponents in this matter."
|
|
|
|
"I hope I shall have nothing to do with clerical disputes," said Lydgate.
|
|
"The path I have chosen is to work well in my own profession."
|
|
|
|
"My responsibility, Mr. Lydgate, is of a broader kind.
|
|
With me, indeed, this question is one of sacred accountableness;
|
|
whereas with my opponents, I have good reason to say that it
|
|
is an occasion for gratifying a spirit of worldly opposition.
|
|
But I shall not therefore drop one iota of my convictions, or cease
|
|
to identify myself with that truth which an evil generation hates.
|
|
I have devoted myself to this object of hospital-improvement, but I
|
|
will boldly confess to you, Mr. Lydgate, that I should have no interest
|
|
in hospitals if I believed that nothing more was concerned therein
|
|
than the cure of mortal diseases. I have another ground of action,
|
|
and in the face of persecution I will not conceal it."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode's voice had become a loud and agitated whisper as he
|
|
said the last words.
|
|
|
|
"There we certainly differ," said Lydgate. But he was not sorry
|
|
that the door was now opened, and Mr. Vincy was announced.
|
|
That florid sociable personage was become more interesting to him
|
|
since he had seen Rosamond. Not that, like her, he had been weaving
|
|
any future in which their lots were united; but a man naturally
|
|
remembers a charming girl with pleasure, and is willing to dine
|
|
where he may see her again. Before he took leave, Mr. Vincy
|
|
had given that invitation which he had been "in no hurry about,"
|
|
for Rosamond at breakfast had mentioned that she thought her uncle
|
|
Featherstone had taken the new doctor into great favor.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode, alone with his brother-in-law, poured himself out
|
|
a glass of water, and opened a sandwich-box.
|
|
|
|
"I cannot persuade you to adopt my regimen, Vincy?"
|
|
|
|
"No, no; I've no opinion of that system. Life wants padding,"
|
|
said Mr. Vincy, unable to omit his portable theory. "However," he
|
|
went on, accenting the word, as if to dismiss all irrelevance,
|
|
"what I came here to talk about was a little affair of my
|
|
young scapegrace, Fred's."
|
|
|
|
"That is a subject on which you and I are likely to take quite
|
|
as different views as on diet, Vincy."
|
|
|
|
"I hope not this time." (Mr. Vincy was resolved to be good-humored.)
|
|
"The fact is, it's about a whim of old Featherstone's. Somebody has
|
|
been cooking up a story out of spite, and telling it to the old man,
|
|
to try to set him against Fred. He's very fond of Fred, and is
|
|
likely to do something handsome for him; indeed he has as good
|
|
as told Fred that he means to leave him his land, and that makes
|
|
other people jealous."
|
|
|
|
"Vincy, I must repeat, that you will not get any concurrence from
|
|
me as to the course you have pursued with your eldest son. It was
|
|
entirely from worldly vanity that you destined him for the Church:
|
|
with a family of three sons and four daughters, you were not
|
|
warranted in devoting money to an expensive education which has
|
|
succeeded in nothing but in giving him extravagant idle habits.
|
|
You are now reaping the consequences."
|
|
|
|
To point out other people's errors was a duty that Mr. Bulstrode rarely
|
|
shrank from, but Mr. Vincy was not equally prepared to be patient.
|
|
When a man has the immediate prospect of being mayor, and is ready,
|
|
in the interests of commerce, to take up a firm attitude on
|
|
politics generally, he has naturally a sense of his importance
|
|
to the framework of things which seems to throw questions of private
|
|
conduct into the background. And this particular reproof irritated
|
|
him more than any other. It was eminently superfluous to him to be
|
|
told that he was reaping the consequences. But he felt his neck
|
|
under Bulstrode's yoke; and though he usually enjoyed kicking,
|
|
he was anxious to refrain from that relief.
|
|
|
|
"As to that, Bulstrode, it's no use going back. I'm not one of your
|
|
pattern men, and I don't pretend to be. I couldn't foresee everything
|
|
in the trade; there wasn't a finer business in Middlemarch than ours,
|
|
and the lad was clever. My poor brother was in the Church, and would
|
|
have done well--had got preferment already, but that stomach fever
|
|
took him off: else he might have been a dean by this time. I think I
|
|
was justified in what I tried to do for Fred. If you come to religion,
|
|
it seems to me a man shouldn't want to carve out his meat to an ounce
|
|
beforehand:--one must trust a little to Providence and be generous.
|
|
It's a good British feeling to try and raise your family a little:
|
|
in my opinion, it's a father's duty to give his sons a fine chance."
|
|
|
|
"I don't wish to act otherwise than as your best friend, Vincy,
|
|
when I say that what you have been uttering just now is one mass
|
|
of worldliness and inconsistent folly."
|
|
|
|
"Very well," said Mr. Vincy, kicking in spite of resolutions,
|
|
"I never professed to be anything but worldly; and, what's more,
|
|
I don't see anybody else who is not worldly. I suppose you don't
|
|
conduct business on what you call unworldly principles.
|
|
The only difference I see is that one worldliness is a little bit
|
|
honester than another."
|
|
|
|
"This kind of discussion is unfruitful, Vincy," said Mr. Bulstrode,
|
|
who, finishing his sandwich, had thrown himself back in his chair,
|
|
and shaded his eyes as if weary. "You had some more particular business."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, yes. The long and short of it is, somebody has told
|
|
old Featherstone, giving you as the authority, that Fred has been
|
|
borrowing or trying to borrow money on the prospect of his land.
|
|
Of course you never said any such nonsense. But the old fellow will
|
|
insist on it that Fred should bring him a denial in your handwriting;
|
|
that is, just a bit of a note saying you don't believe a word
|
|
of such stuff, either of his having borrowed or tried to borrow
|
|
in such a fool's way. I suppose you can have no objection to do that."
|
|
|
|
"Pardon me. I have an objection. I am by no means sure that your son,
|
|
in his recklessness and ignorance--I will use no severer word--
|
|
has not tried to raise money by holding out his future prospects,
|
|
or even that some one may not have been foolish enough to supply him
|
|
on so vague a presumption: there is plenty of such lax money-lending
|
|
as of other folly in the world."
|
|
|
|
"But Fred gives me his honor that he has never borrowed money
|
|
on the pretence of any understanding about his uncle's land.
|
|
He is not a liar. I don't want to make him better than he is.
|
|
I have blown him up well--nobody can say I wink at what he does.
|
|
But he is not a liar. And I should have thought--but I may be wrong--
|
|
that there was no religion to hinder a man from believing the best
|
|
of a young fellow, when you don't know worse. It seems to me it would
|
|
be a poor sort of religion to put a spoke in his wheel by refusing
|
|
to say you don't believe such harm of him as you've got no good reason
|
|
to believe."
|
|
|
|
"I am not at all sure that I should be befriending your son by smoothing
|
|
his way to the future possession of Featherstone's property.
|
|
I cannot regard wealth as a blessing to those who use it simply
|
|
as a harvest for this world. You do not like to hear these things,
|
|
Vincy, but on this occasion I feel called upon to tell you that I
|
|
have no motive for furthering such a disposition of property
|
|
as that which you refer to. I do not shrink from saying that it
|
|
will not tend to your son's eternal welfare or to the glory of God.
|
|
Why then should you expect me to pen this kind of affidavit,
|
|
which has no object but to keep up a foolish partiality and secure
|
|
a foolish bequest?"
|
|
|
|
"If you mean to hinder everybody from having money but saints
|
|
and evangelists, you must give up some profitable partnerships,
|
|
that's all I can say," Mr. Vincy burst out very bluntly.
|
|
"It may be for the glory of God, but it is not for the glory of the
|
|
Middlemarch trade, that Plymdale's house uses those blue and green
|
|
dyes it gets from the Brassing manufactory; they rot the silk,
|
|
that's all I know about it. Perhaps if other people knew so much
|
|
of the profit went to the glory of God, they might like it better.
|
|
But I don't mind so much about that--I could get up a pretty row,
|
|
if I chose."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode paused a little before he answered. "You pain me
|
|
very much by speaking in this way, Vincy. I do not expect you
|
|
to understand my grounds of action--it is not an easy thing even
|
|
to thread a path for principles in the intricacies of the world--
|
|
still less to make the thread clear for the careless and the scoffing.
|
|
You must remember, if you please, that I stretch my tolerance
|
|
towards you as my wife's brother, and that it little becomes you
|
|
to complain of me as withholding material help towards the worldly
|
|
position of your family. I must remind you that it is not your
|
|
own prudence or judgment that has enabled you to keep your place
|
|
in the trade."
|
|
|
|
"Very likely not; but you have been no loser by my trade yet,"
|
|
said Mr. Vincy, thoroughly nettled (a result which was seldom much
|
|
retarded by previous resolutions). "And when you married Harriet,
|
|
I don't see how you could expect that our families should not hang
|
|
by the same nail. If you've changed your mind, and want my family
|
|
to come down in the world, you'd better say so. I've never changed;
|
|
I'm a plain Churchman now, just as I used to be before doctrines
|
|
came up. I take the world as I find it, in trade and everything else.
|
|
I'm contented to be no worse than my neighbors. But if you want
|
|
us to come down in the world, say so. I shall know better what to
|
|
do then."
|
|
|
|
"You talk unreasonably. Shall you come down in the world for want
|
|
of this letter about your son?"
|
|
|
|
"Well, whether or not, I consider it very unhandsome of you to refuse it.
|
|
Such doings may be lined with religion, but outside they have
|
|
a nasty, dog-in-the-manger look. You might as well slander Fred:
|
|
it comes pretty near to it when you refuse to say you didn't set
|
|
a slander going. It's this sort of thing---this tyrannical spirit,
|
|
wanting to play bishop and banker everywhere--it's this sort of thing
|
|
makes a man's name stink."
|
|
|
|
"Vincy, if you insist on quarrelling with me, it will be exceedingly
|
|
painful to Harriet as well as myself," said Mr. Bulstrode,
|
|
with a trifle more eagerness and paleness than usual.
|
|
|
|
"I don't want to quarrel. It's for my interest--and perhaps
|
|
for yours too--that we should be friends. I bear you no grudge;
|
|
I think no worse of you than I do of other people. A man who half
|
|
starves himself, and goes the length in family prayers, and so on,
|
|
that you do, believes in his religion whatever it may be: you could
|
|
turn over your capital just as fast with cursing and swearing:--
|
|
plenty of fellows do. You like to be master, there's no denying that;
|
|
you must be first chop in heaven, else you won't like it much.
|
|
But you're my sister's husband, and we ought to stick together;
|
|
and if I know Harriet, she'll consider it your fault if we quarrel
|
|
because you strain at a gnat in this way, and refuse to do Fred a
|
|
good turn. And I don't mean to say I shall bear it well. I consider
|
|
it unhandsome."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Vincy rose, began to button his great-coat, and looked steadily
|
|
at his brother-in-law, meaning to imply a demand for a decisive answer.
|
|
|
|
This was not the first time that Mr. Bulstrode had begun by admonishing
|
|
Mr. Vincy, and had ended by seeing a very unsatisfactory reflection
|
|
of himself in the coarse unflattering mirror which that manufacturer's
|
|
mind presented to the subtler lights and shadows of his fellow-men;
|
|
and perhaps his experience ought to have warned him how the scene
|
|
would end. But a full-fed fountain will be generous with its
|
|
waters even in the rain, when they are worse than useless;
|
|
and a fine fount of admonition is apt to be equally irrepressible.
|
|
|
|
It was not in Mr. Bulstrode's nature to comply directly in consequence
|
|
of uncomfortable suggestions. Before changing his course,
|
|
he always needed to shape his motives and bring them into accordance
|
|
with his habitual standard. He said, at last--
|
|
|
|
"I will reflect a little, Vincy. I will mention the subject
|
|
to Harriet. I shall probably send you a letter."
|
|
|
|
"Very well. As soon as you can, please. I hope it will all be
|
|
settled before I see you to-morrow."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XIV.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Follows here the strict receipt
|
|
For that sauce to dainty meat,
|
|
Named Idleness, which many eat
|
|
By preference, and call it sweet:
|
|
First watch for morsels, like a hound
|
|
Mix well with buffets, stir them round
|
|
With good thick oil of flatteries,
|
|
And froth with mean self-lauding lies.
|
|
Serve warm: the vessels you must choose
|
|
To keep it in are dead men's shoes."
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode's consultation of Harriet seemed to have had the effect
|
|
desired by Mr. Vincy, for early the next morning a letter came
|
|
which Fred could carry to Mr. Featherstone as the required testimony.
|
|
|
|
The old gentleman was staying in bed on account of the cold weather,
|
|
and as Mary Garth was not to be seen in the sitting-room, Fred
|
|
went up-stairs immediately and presented the letter to his uncle,
|
|
who, propped up comfortably on a bed-rest, was not less able than
|
|
usual to enjoy his consciousness of wisdom in distrusting and
|
|
frustrating mankind. He put on his spectacles to read the letter,
|
|
pursing up his lips and drawing down their corners.
|
|
|
|
"Under the circumstances I will not decline to state my conviction--
|
|
tchah! what fine words the fellow puts! He's as fine as an auctioneer--
|
|
that your son Frederic has not obtained any advance of money
|
|
on bequests promised by Mr. Featherstone--promised? who said I
|
|
had ever promised? I promise nothing--I shall make codicils as long
|
|
as I like--and that considering the nature of such a proceeding,
|
|
it is unreasonable to presume that a young man of sense and character
|
|
would attempt it--ah, but the gentleman doesn't say you are a
|
|
young man of sense and character, mark you that, sir!--As to my own
|
|
concern with any report of such a nature, I distinctly affirm that I
|
|
never made any statement to the effect that your son had borrowed money
|
|
on any property that might accrue to him on Mr. Featherstone's demise--
|
|
bless my heart! `property'--accrue--demise! Lawyer Standish is
|
|
nothing to him. He couldn't speak finer if he wanted to borrow.
|
|
Well," Mr. Featherstone here looked over his spectacles at Fred,
|
|
while he handed back the letter to him with a contemptuous gesture, "you
|
|
don't suppose I believe a thing because Bulstrode writes it out fine, eh?"
|
|
|
|
Fred colored. "You wished to have the letter, sir. I should
|
|
think it very likely that Mr. Bulstrode's denial is as good
|
|
as the authority which told you what he denies."
|
|
|
|
"Every bit. I never said I believed either one or the other.
|
|
And now what d' you expect?" said Mr. Featherstone, curtly, keeping on
|
|
his spectacles, but withdrawing his hands under his wraps.
|
|
|
|
"I expect nothing, sir." Fred with difficulty restrained himself
|
|
from venting his irritation. "I came to bring you the letter.
|
|
If you like I will bid you good morning."
|
|
|
|
"Not yet, not yet. Ring the bell; I want missy to come."
|
|
|
|
It was a servant who came in answer to the bell.
|
|
|
|
"Tell missy to come!" said Mr. Featherstone, impatiently. "What business
|
|
had she to go away?" He spoke in the same tone when Mary came.
|
|
|
|
"Why couldn't you sit still here till I told you to go? want
|
|
my waistcoat now. I told you always to put it on the bed."
|
|
|
|
Mary's eyes looked rather red, as if she had been crying. It was
|
|
clear that Mr. Featherstone was in one of his most snappish humors
|
|
this morning, and though Fred had now the prospect of receiving
|
|
the much-needed present of money, he would have preferred being free
|
|
to turn round on the old tyrant and tell him that Mary Garth was
|
|
too good to be at his beck. Though Fred had risen as she entered
|
|
the room, she had barely noticed him, and looked as if her nerves
|
|
were quivering with the expectation that something would be thrown
|
|
at her. But she never had anything worse than words to dread.
|
|
When she went to reach the waistcoat from a peg, Fred went up
|
|
to her and said, "Allow me."
|
|
|
|
"Let it alone! You bring it, missy, and lay it down here,"
|
|
said Mr. Featherstone. "Now you go away again till I call you,"
|
|
he added, when the waistcoat was laid down by him. It was usual
|
|
with him to season his pleasure in showing favor to one person
|
|
by being especially disagreeable to another, and Mary was always
|
|
at hand to furnish the condiment. When his own relatives came
|
|
she was treated better. Slowly he took out a bunch of keys from
|
|
the waistcoat pocket, and slowly he drew forth a tin box which was
|
|
under the bed-clothes.
|
|
|
|
"You expect I am going to give you a little fortune, eh?" he said,
|
|
looking above his spectacles and pausing in the act of opening
|
|
the lid.
|
|
|
|
"Not at all, sir. You were good enough to speak of making me
|
|
a present the other day, else, of course, I should not have
|
|
thought of the matter." But Fred was of a hopeful disposition,
|
|
and a vision had presented itself of a sum just large enough
|
|
to deliver him from a certain anxiety. When Fred got into debt,
|
|
it always seemed to him highly probable that something or other--
|
|
he did not necessarily conceive what--would come to pass enabling
|
|
him to pay in due time. And now that the providential occurrence
|
|
was apparently close at hand, it would have been sheer absurdity
|
|
to think that the supply would be short of the need: as absurd
|
|
as a faith that believed in half a miracle for want of strength
|
|
to believe in a whole one.
|
|
|
|
The deep-veined hands fingered many bank-notes-one after the other,
|
|
laying them down flat again, while Fred leaned back in his chair,
|
|
scorning to look eager. He held himself to be a gentleman at heart,
|
|
and did not like courting an old fellow for his money. At last,
|
|
Mr. Featherstone eyed him again over his spectacles and presented him
|
|
with a little sheaf of notes: Fred could see distinctly that there
|
|
were but five, as the less significant edges gaped towards him.
|
|
But then, each might mean fifty pounds. He took them, saying--
|
|
|
|
"I am very much obliged to you, sir," and was going to roll them
|
|
up without seeming to think of their value. But this did not suit
|
|
Mr. Featherstone, who was eying him intently.
|
|
|
|
"Come, don't you think it worth your while to count 'em? You take
|
|
money like a lord; I suppose you lose it like one."
|
|
|
|
"I thought I was not to look a gift-horse in the mouth, sir. But I
|
|
shall be very happy to count them."
|
|
|
|
Fred was not so happy, however, after he had counted them. For they
|
|
actually presented the absurdity of being less than his hopefulness
|
|
had decided that they must be. What can the fitness of things mean,
|
|
if not their fitness to a man's expectations? Failing this,
|
|
absurdity and atheism gape behind him. The collapse for Fred was severe
|
|
when he found that he held no more than five twenties, and his share
|
|
in the higher education of this country did not seem to help him.
|
|
Nevertheless he said, with rapid changes in his fair complexion--
|
|
|
|
"It is very handsome of you, sir."
|
|
|
|
"I should think it is," said Mr. Featherstone, locking his box
|
|
and replacing it, then taking off his spectacles deliberately,
|
|
and at length, as if his inward meditation had more deeply
|
|
convinced him, repeating, "I should think it handsome."
|
|
|
|
"I assure you, sir, I am very grateful," said Fred, who had had
|
|
time to recover his cheerful air.
|
|
|
|
"So you ought to be. You want to cut a figure in the world, and I
|
|
reckon Peter Featherstone is the only one you've got to trust to."
|
|
Here the old man's eyes gleamed with a curiously mingled satisfaction
|
|
in the consciousness that this smart young fellow relied upon him,
|
|
and that the smart young fellow was rather a fool for doing so.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, indeed: I was not born to very splendid chances. Few men have
|
|
been more cramped than I have been," said Fred, with some sense of
|
|
surprise at his own virtue, considering how hardly he was dealt with.
|
|
"It really seems a little too bad to have to ride a broken-winded hunter,
|
|
and see men, who, are not half such good judges as yourself,
|
|
able to throw away any amount of money on buying bad bargains."
|
|
|
|
"Well, you can buy yourself a fine hunter now. Eighty pound
|
|
is enough for that, I reckon--and you'll have twenty pound over
|
|
to get yourself out of any little scrape," said Mr. Featherstone,
|
|
chuckling slightly.
|
|
|
|
"You are very good, sir," said Fred, with a fine sense of contrast
|
|
between the words and his feeling.
|
|
|
|
"Ay, rather a better uncle than your fine uncle Bulstrode.
|
|
You won't get much out of his spekilations, I think. He's got
|
|
a pretty strong string round your father's leg, by what I hear, eh?"
|
|
|
|
"My father never tells me anything about his affairs, sir."
|
|
|
|
"Well, he shows some sense there. But other people find 'em out
|
|
without his telling. HE'LL never have much to leave you:
|
|
he'll most-like die without a will--he's the sort of man to do it--
|
|
let 'em make him mayor of Middlemarch as much as they like.
|
|
But you won't get much by his dying without a will, though you
|
|
ARE the eldest son."
|
|
|
|
Fred thought that Mr. Featherstone had never been so disagreeable
|
|
before. True, he had never before given him quite so much money at once.
|
|
|
|
"Shall I destroy this letter of Mr. Bulstrode's, sir?" said Fred,
|
|
rising with the letter as if he would put it in the fire.
|
|
|
|
"Ay, ay, I don't want it. It's worth no money to me."
|
|
|
|
Fred carried the letter to the fire, and thrust the poker through
|
|
it with much zest. He longed to get out of the room, but he was
|
|
a little ashamed before his inner self, as well as before his uncle,
|
|
to run away immediately after pocketing the money. Presently, the
|
|
farm-bailiff came up to give his master a report, and Fred, to his
|
|
unspeakable relief, was dismissed with the injunction to come again soon.
|
|
|
|
He had longed not only to be set free from his uncle, but also
|
|
to find Mary Garth. She was now in her usual place by the fire,
|
|
with sewing in her hands and a book open on the little table
|
|
by her side. Her eyelids had lost some of their redness now,
|
|
and she had her usual air of self-command.
|
|
|
|
"Am I wanted up-stairs?" she said, half rising as Fred entered.
|
|
|
|
"No; I am only dismissed, because Simmons is gone up."
|
|
|
|
Mary sat down again, and resumed her work. She was certainly
|
|
treating him with more indifference than usual: she did not know
|
|
how affectionately indignant he had felt on her behalf up-stairs.
|
|
|
|
"May I stay here a little, Mary, or shall I bore you?"
|
|
|
|
"Pray sit down," said Mary; "you will not be so heavy a bore
|
|
as Mr. John Waule, who was here yesterday, and he sat down without
|
|
asking my leave."
|
|
|
|
"Poor fellow! I think he is in love with you."
|
|
|
|
"I am not aware of it. And to me it is one of the most odious
|
|
things in a girl's life, that there must always be some supposition
|
|
of falling in love coming between her and any man who is kind
|
|
to her, and to whom she is grateful. I should have thought that I,
|
|
at least, might have been safe from all that. I have no ground
|
|
for the nonsensical vanity of fancying everybody who comes near
|
|
me is in love with me."
|
|
|
|
Mary did not mean to betray any feeling, but in spite of herself
|
|
she ended in a tremulous tone of vexation.
|
|
|
|
"Confound John Waule! I did not mean to make you angry. I didn't
|
|
know you had any reason for being grateful to me. I forgot what
|
|
a great service you think it if any one snuffs a candle for you.
|
|
Fred also had his pride, and was not going to show that he knew
|
|
what had called forth this outburst of Mary's.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I am not angry, except with the ways of the world. I do
|
|
like to be spoken to as if I had common-sense. I really often feel
|
|
as if I could understand a little more than I ever hear even from
|
|
young gentlemen who have been to college." Mary had recovered,
|
|
and she spoke with a suppressed rippling under-current of laughter
|
|
pleasant to hear.
|
|
|
|
"I don't care how merry you are at my expense this morning,"
|
|
said Fred, "I thought you looked so sad when you came up-stairs. It
|
|
is a shame you should stay here to be bullied in that way."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I have an easy life--by comparison. I have tried being
|
|
a teacher, and I am not fit for that: my mind is too fond
|
|
of wandering on its own way. I think any hardship is better
|
|
than pretending to do what one is paid for, and never really
|
|
doing it. Everything here I can do as well as any one else could;
|
|
perhaps better than some--Rosy, for example. Though she is just the
|
|
sort of beautiful creature that is imprisoned with ogres in fairy tales."
|
|
|
|
"ROSY!" cried Fred, in a tone of profound brotherly scepticism.
|
|
|
|
"Come, Fred!" said Mary, emphatically; "you have no right to be
|
|
so critical."
|
|
|
|
"Do you mean anything particular--just now?"
|
|
|
|
"No, I mean something general--always."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, that I am idle and extravagant. Well, I am not fit to be
|
|
a poor man. I should not have made a bad fellow if I had been rich."
|
|
|
|
"You would have done your duty in that state of life to which it
|
|
has not pleased God to call you," said Mary, laughing.
|
|
|
|
"Well, I couldn't do my duty as a clergyman, any more than you
|
|
could do yours as a governess. You ought to have a little
|
|
fellow-feeling there, Mary."
|
|
|
|
"I never said you ought to be a clergyman. There are other sorts
|
|
of work. It seems to me very miserable not to resolve on some
|
|
course and act accordingly."
|
|
|
|
"So I could, if--" Fred broke off, and stood up, leaning against
|
|
the mantel-piece.
|
|
|
|
"If you were sure you should not have a fortune?"
|
|
|
|
"I did not say that. You want to quarrel with me. It is too bad
|
|
of you to be guided by what other people say about me."
|
|
|
|
"How can I want to quarrel with you? I should be quarrelling with
|
|
all my new books," said Mary, lifting the volume on the table.
|
|
"However naughty you may be to other people, you are good to me."
|
|
|
|
"Because I like you better than any one else. But I know you
|
|
despise me."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I do--a little," said Mary, nodding, with a smile.
|
|
|
|
"You would admire a stupendous fellow, who would have wise opinions
|
|
about everything."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I should." Mary was sewing swiftly, and seemed provokingly
|
|
mistress of the situation. When a conversation has taken a wrong turn
|
|
for us, we only get farther and farther into the swamp of awkwardness.
|
|
This was what Fred Vincy felt.
|
|
|
|
"I suppose a woman is never in love with any one she has always known--
|
|
ever since she can remember; as a man often is. It is always some
|
|
new fellow who strikes a girl."
|
|
|
|
"Let me see," said Mary, the corners of her mouth curling archly;
|
|
"I must go back on my experience. There is Juliet--she seems
|
|
an example of what you say. But then Ophelia had probably known
|
|
Hamlet a long while; and Brenda Troil--she had known Mordaunt Merton
|
|
ever since they were children; but then he seems to have been
|
|
an estimable young man; and Minna was still more deeply in love
|
|
with Cleveland, who was a stranger. Waverley was new to Flora MacIvor;
|
|
but then she did not fall in love with him. And there are Olivia
|
|
and Sophia Primrose, and Corinne--they may be said to have fallen
|
|
in love with new men. Altogether, my experience is rather mixed."
|
|
|
|
Mary looked up with some roguishness at Fred, and that look of hers
|
|
was very dear to him, though the eyes were nothing more than clear
|
|
windows where observation sat laughingly. He was certainly an
|
|
affectionate fellow, and as he had grown from boy to man, he had grown
|
|
in love with his old playmate, notwithstanding that share in the higher
|
|
education of the country which had exalted his views of rank and income.
|
|
|
|
"When a man is not loved, it is no use for him to say that he could
|
|
be a better fellow--could do anything--I mean, if he were sure
|
|
of being loved in return."
|
|
|
|
"Not of the least use in the world for him to say he COULD
|
|
be better. Might, could, would--they are contemptible auxiliaries."
|
|
|
|
"I don't see how a man is to be good for much unless he has some
|
|
one woman to love him dearly."
|
|
|
|
"I think the goodness should come before he expects that."
|
|
|
|
"You know better, Mary. Women don't love men for their goodness."
|
|
|
|
"Perhaps not. But if they love them, they never think them bad."
|
|
|
|
"It is hardly fair to say I am bad."
|
|
|
|
"I said nothing at all about you."
|
|
|
|
"I never shall be good for anything, Mary, if you will not say
|
|
that you love me--if you will not promise to marry me--I mean,
|
|
when I am able to marry."
|
|
|
|
"If I did love you, I would not marry you: I would certainly
|
|
not promise ever to marry you."
|
|
|
|
"I think that is quite wicked, Mary. If you love me, you ought
|
|
to promise to marry me."
|
|
|
|
"On the contrary, I think it would be wicked in me to marry you
|
|
even if I did love you."
|
|
|
|
"You mean, just as I am, without any means of maintaining a wife.
|
|
Of course: I am but three-and-twenty."
|
|
|
|
"In that last point you will alter. But I am not so sure of any
|
|
other alteration. My father says an idle man ought not to exist,
|
|
much less, be married."
|
|
|
|
"Then I am to blow my brains out?"
|
|
|
|
"No; on the whole I should think you would do better to pass your
|
|
examination. I have heard Mr. Farebrother say it is disgracefully easy."
|
|
|
|
"That is all very fine. Anything is easy to him. Not that
|
|
cleverness has anything to do with it. I am ten times cleverer
|
|
than many men who pass."
|
|
|
|
"Dear me!" said Mary, unable to repress her sarcasm; "that accounts
|
|
for the curates like Mr. Crowse. Divide your cleverness by ten,
|
|
and the quotient--dear me!--is able to take a degree. But that only
|
|
shows you are ten times more idle than the others."
|
|
|
|
"Well, if I did pass, you would not want me to go into the Church?"
|
|
|
|
"That is not the question--what I want you to do. You have a
|
|
conscience of your own, I suppose. There! there is Mr. Lydgate.
|
|
I must go and tell my uncle."
|
|
|
|
"Mary," said Fred, seizing her hand as she rose; "if you will not
|
|
give me some encouragement, I shall get worse instead of better."
|
|
|
|
"I will not give you any encouragement," said Mary, reddening.
|
|
"Your friends would dislike it, and so would mine. My father would
|
|
think it a disgrace to me if I accepted a man who got into debt,
|
|
and would not work!"
|
|
|
|
Fred was stung, and released her hand. She walked to the door,
|
|
but there she turned and said: "Fred, you have always been so good,
|
|
so generous to me. I am not ungrateful. But never speak to me in
|
|
that way again."
|
|
|
|
"Very well," said Fred, sulkily, taking up his hat and whip.
|
|
His complexion showed patches of pale pink and dead white.
|
|
Like many a plucked idle young gentleman, he was thoroughly
|
|
in love, and with a plain girl, who had no money! But having
|
|
Mr. Featherstone's land in the background, and a persuasion that,
|
|
let Mary say what she would, she really did care for him, Fred was
|
|
not utterly in despair.
|
|
|
|
When he got home, he gave four of the twenties to his mother, asking her
|
|
to keep them for him. "I don't want to spend that money, mother.
|
|
I want it to pay a debt with. So keep it safe away from my fingers."
|
|
|
|
"Bless you, my dear," said Mrs. Vincy. She doted on her eldest son
|
|
and her youngest girl (a child of six), whom others thought her two
|
|
naughtiest children. The mother's eyes are not always deceived
|
|
in their partiality: she at least can best judge who is the tender,
|
|
filial-hearted child. And Fred was certainly very fond of his mother.
|
|
Perhaps it was his fondness for another person also that made him
|
|
particularly anxious to take some security against his own liability
|
|
to spend the hundred pounds. For the creditor to whom he owed
|
|
a hundred and sixty held a firmer security in the shape of a bill
|
|
signed by Mary's father.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XV.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Black eyes you have left, you say,
|
|
Blue eyes fail to draw you;
|
|
Yet you seem more rapt to-day,
|
|
Than of old we saw you.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I track the fairest fair
|
|
Through new haunts of pleasure;
|
|
Footprints here and echoes there
|
|
Guide me to my treasure:
|
|
|
|
"Lo! she turns--immortal youth
|
|
Wrought to mortal stature,
|
|
Fresh as starlight's aged truth--
|
|
Many-named Nature!"
|
|
|
|
|
|
A great historian, as he insisted on calling himself, who had the
|
|
happiness to be dead a hundred and twenty years ago, and so to take
|
|
his place among the colossi whose huge legs our living pettiness
|
|
is observed to walk under, glories in his copious remarks and
|
|
digressions as the least imitable part of his work, and especially
|
|
in those initial chapters to the successive books of his history,
|
|
where he seems to bring his armchair to the proscenium and chat with
|
|
us in all the lusty ease of his fine English. But Fielding lived
|
|
when the days were longer (for time, like money, is measured by our
|
|
needs), when summer afternoons were spacious, and the clock ticked
|
|
slowly in the winter evenings. We belated historians must not linger
|
|
after his example; and if we did so, it is probable that our chat would
|
|
be thin and eager, as if delivered from a campstool in a parrot-house.
|
|
I at least have so much to do in unraveling certain human lots,
|
|
and seeing how they were woven and interwoven, that all the light
|
|
I can command must be concentrated on this particular web, and not
|
|
dispersed over that tempting range of relevancies called the universe.
|
|
|
|
At present I have to make the new settler Lydgate better known
|
|
to any one interested in him than he could possibly be even to those
|
|
who had seen the most of him since his arrival in Middlemarch.
|
|
For surely all must admit that a man may be puffed and belauded,
|
|
envied, ridiculed, counted upon as a tool and fallen in love with, or at
|
|
least selected as a future husband, and yet remain virtually unknown--
|
|
known merely as a cluster of signs for his neighbors' false suppositions.
|
|
There was a general impression, however, that Lydgate was not altogether
|
|
a common country doctor, and in Middlemarch at that time such an
|
|
impression was significant of great things being expected from him.
|
|
For everybody's family doctor was remarkably clever, and was understood
|
|
to have immeasurable skill in the management and training of the
|
|
most skittish or vicious diseases. The evidence of his cleverness
|
|
was of the higher intuitive order, lying in his lady-patients'
|
|
immovable conviction, and was unassailable by any objection except
|
|
that their intuitions were opposed by others equally strong; each lady
|
|
who saw medical truth in Wrench and "the strengthening treatment"
|
|
regarding Toller and "the lowering system" as medical perdition.
|
|
For the heroic times of copious bleeding and blistering had not
|
|
yet departed, still less the times of thorough-going theory,
|
|
when disease in general was called by some bad name, and treated
|
|
accordingly without shilly-shally--as if, for example, it were
|
|
to be called insurrection, which must not be fired on with
|
|
blank-cartridge, but have its blood drawn at once. The strengtheners
|
|
and the lowerers were all "clever" men in somebody's opinion,
|
|
which is really as much as can be said for any living talents.
|
|
Nobody's imagination had gone so far as to conjecture that Mr. Lydgate
|
|
could know as much as Dr. Sprague and Dr. Minchin, the two physicians,
|
|
who alone could offer any hope when danger was extreme,
|
|
and when the smallest hope was worth a guinea. Still, I repeat,
|
|
there was a general impression that Lydgate was something rather
|
|
more uncommon than any general practitioner in Middlemarch.
|
|
And this was true. He was but seven-and-twenty, an age at which many
|
|
men are not quite common--at which they are hopeful of achievement,
|
|
resolute in avoidance, thinking that Mammon shall never put a bit
|
|
in their mouths and get astride their backs, but rather that Mammon,
|
|
if they have anything to do with him, shall draw their chariot.
|
|
|
|
He had been left an orphan when he was fresh from a public school.
|
|
His father, a military man, had made but little provision for three
|
|
children, and when the boy Tertius asked to have a medical education,
|
|
it seemed easier to his guardians to grant his request by apprenticing
|
|
him to a country practitioner than to make any objections on the
|
|
score of family dignity. He was one of the rarer lads who early
|
|
get a decided bent and make up their minds that there is something
|
|
particular in life which they would like to do for its own sake,
|
|
and not because their fathers did it. Most of us who turn to any
|
|
subject with love remember some morning or evening hour when we got on
|
|
a high stool to reach down an untried volume, or sat with parted lips
|
|
listening to a new talker, or for very lack of books began to listen
|
|
to the voices within, as the first traceable beginning of our love.
|
|
Something of that sort happened to Lydgate. He was a quick fellow,
|
|
and when hot from play, would toss himself in a corner, and in five
|
|
minutes be deep in any sort of book that he could lay his hands on:
|
|
if it were Rasselas or Gulliver, so much the better, but Bailey's
|
|
Dictionary would do, or the Bible with the Apocrypha in it.
|
|
Something he must read, when he was not riding the pony, or running
|
|
and hunting, or listening to the talk of men. All this was true
|
|
of him at ten years of age; he had then read through "Chrysal,
|
|
or the Adventures of a Guinea," which was neither milk for babes,
|
|
nor any chalky mixture meant to pass for milk, and it had already
|
|
occurred to him that books were stuff, and that life was stupid.
|
|
His school studies had not much modified that opinion, for though he
|
|
"did" his classics and mathematics, he was not pre-eminent in them.
|
|
It was said of him, that Lydgate could do anything he liked,
|
|
but he had certainly not yet liked to do anything remarkable.
|
|
He was a vigorous animal with a ready understanding, but no spark
|
|
had yet kindled in him an intellectual passion; knowledge seemed
|
|
to him a very superficial affair, easily mastered: judging from the
|
|
conversation of his elders, he had apparently got already more than
|
|
was necessary for mature life. Probably this was not an exceptional
|
|
result of expensive teaching at that period of short-waisted coats,
|
|
and other fashions which have not yet recurred. But, one vacation,
|
|
a wet day sent him to the small home library to hunt once more for
|
|
a book which might have some freshness for him: in vain! unless,
|
|
indeed, he took down a dusty row of volumes with gray-paper backs
|
|
and dingy labels--the volumes of an old Cyclopaedia which he had
|
|
never disturbed. It would at least be a novelty to disturb them.
|
|
They were on the highest shelf, and he stood on a chair to get
|
|
them down. But he opened the volume which he first took from
|
|
the shelf: somehow, one is apt to read in a makeshift attitude,
|
|
just where it might seem inconvenient to do so. The page he
|
|
opened on was under the head of Anatomy, and the first passage
|
|
that drew his eyes was on the valves of the heart. He was not much
|
|
acquainted with valves of any sort, but he knew that valvae
|
|
were folding-doors, and through this crevice came a sudden light
|
|
startling him with his first vivid notion of finely adjusted
|
|
mechanism in the human frame. A liberal education had of course
|
|
left him free to read the indecent passages in the school classics,
|
|
but beyond a general sense of secrecy and obscenity in connection
|
|
with his internal structure, had left his imagination quite unbiassed,
|
|
so that for anything he knew his brains lay in small bags at
|
|
his temples, and he had no more thought of representing to himself
|
|
how his blood circulated than how paper served instead of gold.
|
|
But the moment of vocation had come, and before he got down from
|
|
his chair, the world was made new to him by a presentiment of.
|
|
endless processes filling the vast spaces planked out of his sight
|
|
by that wordy ignorance which he had supposed to be knowledge.
|
|
From that hour Lydgate felt the growth of an intellectual passion.
|
|
|
|
We are not afraid of telling over and over again how a man comes
|
|
to fall in love with a woman and be wedded to her, or else be fatally
|
|
parted from her. Is it due to excess of poetry or of stupidity that
|
|
we are never weary of describing what King James called a woman's
|
|
"makdom and her fairnesse," never weary of listening to the twanging
|
|
of the old Troubadour strings, and are comparatively uninterested
|
|
in that other kind of "makdom and fairnesse" which must be wooed
|
|
with industrious thought and patient renunciation of small desires?
|
|
In the story of this passion, too, the development varies:
|
|
sometimes it is the glorious marriage, sometimes frustration and
|
|
final parting. And not seldom the catastrophe is bound up with
|
|
the other passion, sung by the Troubadours. For in the multitude
|
|
of middle-aged men who go about their vocations in a daily course
|
|
determined for them much in the same way as the tie of their cravats,
|
|
there is always a good number who once meant to shape their own
|
|
deeds and alter the world a little. The story of their coming
|
|
to be shapen after the average and fit to be packed by the gross,
|
|
is hardly ever told even in their consciousness; for perhaps their
|
|
ardor in generous unpaid toil cooled as imperceptibly as the ardor
|
|
of other youthful loves, till one day their earlier self walked
|
|
like a ghost in its old home and made the new furniture ghastly.
|
|
Nothing in the world more subtle than the process of their
|
|
gradual change! In the beginning they inhaled it unknowingly:
|
|
you and I may have sent some of our breath towards infecting them,
|
|
when we uttered our conforming falsities or drew our silly conclusions:
|
|
or perhaps it came with the vibrations from a woman's glance.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate did not mean to be one of those failures, and there was
|
|
the better hope of him because his scientific interest soon took
|
|
the form of a professional enthusiasm: he had a youthful belief
|
|
in his bread-winning work, not to be stifled by that initiation
|
|
in makeshift called his 'prentice days; and he carried to his
|
|
studies in London, Edinburgh, and Paris, the conviction that the
|
|
medical profession as it might be was the finest in the world;
|
|
presenting the most perfect interchange between science and art;
|
|
offering the most direct alliance between intellectual conquest
|
|
and the social good. Lydgate's nature demanded this combination:
|
|
he was an emotional creature, with a flesh-and-blood sense of
|
|
fellowship which withstood all the abstractions of special study.
|
|
He cared not only for "cases," but for John and Elizabeth,
|
|
especially Elizabeth.
|
|
|
|
There was another attraction in his profession: it wanted reform,
|
|
and gave a man an opportunity for some indignant resolve to reject
|
|
its venal decorations and other humbug, and to be the possessor
|
|
of genuine though undemanded qualifications. He went to study
|
|
in Paris with the determination that when he provincial home again
|
|
he would settle in some provincial town as a general practitioner,
|
|
and resist the irrational severance between medical and surgical
|
|
knowledge in the interest of his own scientific pursuits, as well
|
|
as of the general advance: he would keep away from the range of
|
|
London intrigues, jealousies, and social truckling, and win celebrity,
|
|
however slowly, as Jenner had done, by the independent value of
|
|
his work. For it must be remembered that this was a dark period;
|
|
and in spite of venerable colleges which used great efforts to secure
|
|
purity of knowledge by making it scarce, and to exclude error
|
|
by a rigid exclusiveness in relation to fees and appointments,
|
|
it happened that very ignorant young gentlemen were promoted in town,
|
|
and many more got a legal right to practise over large areas
|
|
in the country. Also, the high standard held up to the public
|
|
mind by the College of which which gave its peculiar sanction
|
|
to the expensive and highly rarefied medical instruction obtained
|
|
by graduates of Oxford and Cambridge, did not hinder quackery from
|
|
having an excellent time of it; for since professional practice
|
|
chiefly consisted in giving a great many drugs, the public inferred
|
|
that it might be better off with more drugs still, if they could only
|
|
be got cheaply, and hence swallowed large cubic measures of physic
|
|
prescribed by unscrupulous ignorance which had taken no degrees.
|
|
Considering that statistics had not yet embraced a calculation as
|
|
to the number of ignorant or canting doctors which absolutely must
|
|
exist in the teeth of all changes, it seemed to Lydgate that a change
|
|
in the units was the most direct mode of changing the numbers.
|
|
He meant to be a unit who would make a certain amount of difference
|
|
towards that spreading change which would one day tell appreciably
|
|
upon the averages, and in the mean time have the pleasure of making
|
|
an advantageous difference to the viscera of his own patients.
|
|
But he did not simply aim at a more genuine kind of practice than
|
|
was common. He was ambitious of a wider effect: he was fired with
|
|
the possibility that he might work out the proof of an anatomical
|
|
conception and make a link in the chain of discovery.
|
|
|
|
Does it seem incongruous to you that a Middlemarch surgeon should
|
|
dream of himself as a discoverer? Most of us, indeed, know little
|
|
of the great originators until they have been lifted up among
|
|
the constellations and already rule our fates. But that Herschel,
|
|
for example, who "broke the barriers of the heavens"--did he
|
|
not once play a provincial church-organ, and give music-lessons
|
|
to stumbling pianists? Each of those Shining Ones had to walk
|
|
on the earth among neighbors who perhaps thought much more of his
|
|
gait and his garments than of anything which was to give him
|
|
a title to everlasting fame: each of them had his little local
|
|
personal history sprinkled with small temptations and sordid cares,
|
|
which made the retarding friction of his course towards final
|
|
companionship with the immortals. Lydgate was not blind to the
|
|
dangers of such friction, but he had plenty of confidence in his
|
|
resolution to avoid it as far as possible: being seven-and-twenty,
|
|
he felt himself experienced. And he was not going to have his
|
|
vanities provoked by contact with the showy worldly successes
|
|
of the capital, but to live among people who could hold no rivalry
|
|
with that pursuit of a great idea which was to be a twin object
|
|
with the assiduous practice of his profession. There was fascination
|
|
in the hope that the two purposes would illuminate each other:
|
|
the careful observation and inference which was his daily work,
|
|
the use of the lens to further his judgment in special cases,
|
|
would further his thought as an instrument of larger inquiry.
|
|
Was not this the typical pre-eminence of his profession? He would
|
|
be a good Middlemarch doctor, and by that very means keep himself
|
|
in the track of far-reaching investigation. On one point he may
|
|
fairly claim approval at this particular stage of his career:
|
|
he did not mean to imitate those philanthropic models who make
|
|
a profit out of poisonous pickles to support themselves while they
|
|
are exposing adulteration, or hold shares in a gambling-hell that
|
|
they may have leisure to represent the cause of public morality.
|
|
He intended to begin in his own case some particular reforms which
|
|
were quite certainly within his reach, and much less of a problem
|
|
than the demonstrating of an anatomical conception. One of these
|
|
reforms was to act stoutly on the strength of a recent legal decision,
|
|
and simply prescribe, without dispensing drugs or taking percentage
|
|
from druggists. This was an innovation for one who had chosen
|
|
to adopt the style of general practitioner in a country town,
|
|
and would be felt as offensive criticism by his professional brethren.
|
|
But Lydgate meant to innovate in his treatment also, and he was wise
|
|
enough to see that the best security for his practising honestly
|
|
according to his belief was to get rid of systematic temptations
|
|
to the contrary.
|
|
|
|
Perhaps that was a more cheerful time for observers and theorizers
|
|
than the present; we are apt to think it the finest era of the world
|
|
when America was beginning to be discovered, when a bold sailor,
|
|
even if he were wrecked, might alight on a new kingdom; and about 1829
|
|
the dark territories of Pathology were a fine America for a spirited
|
|
young adventurer. Lydgate was ambitious above all to contribute
|
|
towards enlarging the scientific, rational basis of his profession.
|
|
The more he became interested in special questions of disease,
|
|
such as the nature of fever or fevers, the more keenly he felt the
|
|
need for that fundamental knowledge of structure which just at the
|
|
beginning of the century had been illuminated by the brief and glorious
|
|
career of Bichat, who died when he was only one-and-thirty, but,
|
|
like another Alexander, left a realm large enough for many heirs.
|
|
That great Frenchman first carried out the conception that living bodies,
|
|
fundamentally considered, are not associations of organs which can be
|
|
understood by studying them first apart, and then as it were federally;
|
|
but must be regarded as consisting of certain primary webs or tissues,
|
|
out of which the various organs--brain, heart, lungs, and so on--
|
|
are compacted, as the various accommodations of a house are built up
|
|
in various proportions of wood, iron, stone, brick, zinc, and the rest,
|
|
each material having its peculiar composition and proportions.
|
|
No man, one sees, can understand and estimate the entire structure
|
|
or its parts--what are its frailties and what its repairs, without
|
|
knowing the nature of the materials. And the conception wrought
|
|
out by Bichat, with his detailed study of the different tissues,
|
|
acted necessarily on medical questions as the turning of gas-light
|
|
would act on a dim, oil-lit street, showing new connections
|
|
and hitherto hidden facts of structure which must be taken into
|
|
account in considering the symptoms of maladies and the action
|
|
of medicaments. But results which depend on human conscience and
|
|
intelligence work slowly, and now at the end of 1829, most medical
|
|
practice was still strutting or shambling along the old paths,
|
|
and there was still scientific work to be done which might have
|
|
seemed to be a direct sequence of Bichat's. This great seer did
|
|
not go beyond the consideration of the tissues as ultimate facts
|
|
in the living organism, marking the limit of anatomical analysis;
|
|
but it was open to another mind to say, have not these structures
|
|
some common basis from which they have all started, as your sarsnet,
|
|
gauze, net, satin, and velvet from the raw cocoon? Here would be
|
|
another light, as of oxy-hydrogen, showing the very grain of things,
|
|
and revising ail former explanations. Of this sequence to Bichat's
|
|
work, already vibrating along many currents of the European mind,
|
|
Lydgate was enamoured; he longed to demonstrate the more intimate
|
|
relations of living structure, and help to define men's thought more
|
|
accurately after the true order. The work had not yet been done,
|
|
but only prepared for those who knew how to use the preparation.
|
|
What was the primitive tissue? In that way Lydgate put the question--
|
|
not quite in the way required by the awaiting answer; but such
|
|
missing of the right word befalls many seekers. And he counted on
|
|
quiet intervals to be watchfully seized, for taking up the threads
|
|
of investigation--on many hints to be won from diligent application,
|
|
not only of the scalpel, but of the microscope, which research
|
|
had begun to use again with new enthusiasm of reliance. Such was
|
|
Lydgate's plan of his future: to do good small work for Middlemarch,
|
|
and great work for the world.
|
|
|
|
He was certainly a happy fellow at this time: to be seven-and-twenty,
|
|
without any fixed vices, with a generous resolution that his
|
|
action should be beneficent, and with ideas in his brain that made
|
|
life interesting quite apart from the cultus of horseflesh
|
|
and other mystic rites of costly observance, which the eight
|
|
hundred pounds left him after buying his practice would certainly
|
|
not have gone far in paying for. He was at a starting-point
|
|
which makes many a man's career a fine subject for betting,
|
|
if there were any gentlemen given to that amusement who could
|
|
appreciate the complicated probabilities of an arduous purpose,
|
|
with all the possible thwartings and furtherings of circumstance,
|
|
all the niceties of inward balance, by which a man swims and makes
|
|
his point or else is carried headlong. The risk would remain
|
|
even with close knowledge of Lydgate's character; for character
|
|
too is a process and an unfolding. The man was still in the making,
|
|
as much as the Middlemarch doctor and immortal discoverer, and there
|
|
were both virtues and faults capable of shrinking or expanding.
|
|
The faults will not, I hope, be a reason for the withdrawal of
|
|
your interest in him. Among our valued friends is there not some
|
|
one or other who is a little too self-confident and disdainful;
|
|
whose distinguished mind is a little spotted with commonness;
|
|
who is a little pinched here and protuberant there with native.
|
|
prejudices; or whose better energies are liable to lapse down
|
|
the wrong channel under the influence of transient solicitations?
|
|
All these things might be alleged against Lydgate, but then,
|
|
they are the periphrases of a polite preacher, who talks of Adam,
|
|
and would not like to mention anything painful to the pew-renters.
|
|
The particular faults from which these delicate generalities are
|
|
distilled have distinguishable physiognomies, diction, accent,
|
|
and grimaces; filling up parts in very various dramas. Our vanities
|
|
differ as our noses do: all conceit is not the same conceit,
|
|
but varies in correspondence with the minutiae of mental make
|
|
in which one of us differs from another. Lydgate's conceit
|
|
was of the arrogant sort, never simpering, never impertinent,
|
|
but massive in its claims and benevolently contemptuous.
|
|
He would do a great deal for noodles, being sorry for them,
|
|
and feeling quite sure that they could have no power over him:
|
|
he had thought of joining the Saint Simonians when he was in Paris,
|
|
in order to turn them against some of their own doctrines.
|
|
All his faults were marked by kindred traits, and were those of a
|
|
man who had a fine baritone, whose clothes hung well upon him,
|
|
and who even in his ordinary gestures had an air of inbred distinction.
|
|
Where then lay the spots of commonness? says a young lady enamoured
|
|
of that careless grace. How could there be any commonness in a man
|
|
so well-bred, so ambitious of social distinction, so generous and unusual
|
|
in his views of social duty? As easily as there may be stupidity
|
|
in a man of genius if you take him unawares on the wrong subject,
|
|
or as many a man who has the best will to advance the social
|
|
millennium might be ill-inspired in imagining its lighter pleasures;
|
|
unable to go beyond Offenbach's music, or the brilliant punning in the
|
|
last burlesque. Lydgate's spots of commonness lay in the complexion
|
|
of his prejudices, which, in spite of noble intention and sympathy,
|
|
were half of them such as are found in ordinary men of the world:
|
|
that distinction of mind which belonged to his intellectual ardor,
|
|
did not penetrate his feeling and judgment about furniture, or women,
|
|
or the desirability of its being known (without his telling)
|
|
that he was better born than other country surgeons. He did not
|
|
mean to think of furniture at present; but whenever he did so it
|
|
was to be feared that neither biology nor schemes of reform would
|
|
lift him above the vulgarity of feeling that there would be an
|
|
incompatibility in his furniture not being of the best.
|
|
|
|
As to women, he had once already been drawn headlong by impetuous folly,
|
|
which he meant to be final, since marriage at some distant period
|
|
would of course not be impetuous. For those who want to be
|
|
acquainted with Lydgate it will be good to know what was that case
|
|
of impetuous folly, for it may stand as an example of the fitful
|
|
swerving of passion to which he was prone, together with the
|
|
chivalrous kindness which helped to make him morally lovable.
|
|
The story can be told without many words. It happened when he
|
|
was studying in Paris, and just at the time when, over and above
|
|
his other work, he was occupied with some galvanic experiments.
|
|
One evening, tired with his experimenting, and not being able
|
|
to elicit the facts he needed, he left his frogs and rabbits
|
|
to some repose under their trying and mysterious dispensation of
|
|
unexplained shocks, and went to finish his evening at the theatre
|
|
of the Porte Saint Martin, where there was a melodrama which he
|
|
had already seen several times; attracted, not by the ingenious
|
|
work of the collaborating authors, but by an actress whose part
|
|
it was to stab her lover, mistaking him for the evil-designing
|
|
duke of the piece. Lydgate was in love with this actress, as a
|
|
man is in love with a woman whom he never expects to speak to.
|
|
She was a Provencale, with dark eyes, a Greek profile, and rounded
|
|
majestic form, having that sort of beauty which carries a sweet
|
|
matronliness even in youth, and her voice was a soft cooing.
|
|
She had but lately come to Paris, and bore a virtuous reputation,
|
|
her husband acting with her as the unfortunate lover. It was her
|
|
acting which was "no better than it should be," but the public
|
|
was satisfied. Lydgate's only relaxation now was to go and look
|
|
at this woman, just as he might have thrown himself under the
|
|
breath of the sweet south on a bank of violets for a while,
|
|
without prejudice to his galvanism, to which he would presently return.
|
|
But this evening the old drama had a new catastrophe. At the moment
|
|
when the heroine was to act the stabbing of her lover, and he
|
|
was to fall gracefully, the wife veritably stabbed her husband,
|
|
who fell as death willed. A wild shriek pierced the house,
|
|
and the Provencale fell swooning: a shriek and a swoon were
|
|
demanded by the play, but the swooning too was real this time.
|
|
Lydgate leaped and climbed, he hardly knew how, on to the stage,
|
|
and was active in help, making the acquaintance of his heroine by
|
|
finding a contusion on her head and lifting her gently in his arms.
|
|
Paris rang with the story of this death:--was it a murder? Some of
|
|
the actress's warmest admirers were inclined to believe in her guilt,
|
|
and liked her the better for it (such was the taste of those times);
|
|
but Lydgate was not one of these. He vehemently contended for
|
|
her innocence, and the remote impersonal passion for her beauty
|
|
which he had felt before, had passed now into personal devotion,
|
|
and tender thought of her lot. The notion of murder was absurd:
|
|
no motive was discoverable, the young couple being understood to dote
|
|
on each other; and it was not unprecedented that an accidental
|
|
slip of the foot should have brought these grave consequences.
|
|
The legal investigation ended in Madame Laure's release.
|
|
Lydgate by this time had had many interviews with her, and found
|
|
her more and more adorable. She talked little; but that was
|
|
an additional charm. She was melancholy, and seemed grateful;
|
|
her presence was enough, like that of the evening light.
|
|
Lydgate was madly anxious about her affection, and jealous lest
|
|
any other man than himself should win it and ask her to marry him.
|
|
But instead of reopening her engagement at the Porte Saint Martin,
|
|
where she would have been all the more popular for the fatal episode,
|
|
she left Paris without warning, forsaking her little court of admirers.
|
|
Perhaps no one carried inquiry far except Lydgate, who felt that all
|
|
science had come to a stand-still while he imagined the unhappy Laure,
|
|
stricken by ever-wandering sorrow, herself wandering, and finding no
|
|
faithful comforter. Hidden actresses, however, are not so difficult
|
|
to find as some other hidden facts, and it was not long before Lydgate
|
|
gathered indications that Laure had taken the route to Lyons.
|
|
He found her at last acting with great success at Avignon under
|
|
the same name, looking more majestic than ever as a forsaken wife
|
|
carrying her child in her arms. He spoke to her after the play,
|
|
was received with the usual quietude which seemed to him beautiful
|
|
as clear depths of water, and obtained leave to visit her the next day;
|
|
when he was bent on telling her that he adored her, and on asking
|
|
her to marry him. He knew that this was like the sudden impulse
|
|
of a madman--incongruous even with his habitual foibles. No matter!
|
|
It was the one thing which he was resolved to do. He had two selves
|
|
within him apparently, and they must learn to accommodate each other
|
|
and bear reciprocal impediments. Strange, that some of us, with quick
|
|
alternate vision, see beyond our infatuations, and even while we
|
|
rave on the heights, behold the wide plain where our persistent
|
|
self pauses and awaits us.
|
|
|
|
To have approached Laure with any suit that was not reverentially
|
|
tender would have been simply a contradiction of his whole feeling
|
|
towards her.
|
|
|
|
"You have come all the way from Paris to find me?" she said to him
|
|
the next day, sitting before him with folded arms, and looking
|
|
at him with eyes that seemed to wonder as an untamed ruminating
|
|
animal wonders. "Are all Englishmen like that?"
|
|
|
|
"I came because I could not live without trying to see you.
|
|
You are lonely; I love you; I want you to consent to be my wife;
|
|
I will wait, but I want you to promise that you will marry me--
|
|
no one else."
|
|
|
|
Laure looked at him in silence with a melancholy radiance from
|
|
under her grand eyelids, until he was full of rapturous certainty,
|
|
and knelt close to her knees.
|
|
|
|
"I will tell you something," she said, in her cooing way,
|
|
keeping her arms folded. "My foot really slipped."
|
|
|
|
"I know, I know," said Lydgate, deprecatingly. "It was a fatal accident--
|
|
a dreadful stroke of calamity that bound me to you the more."
|
|
|
|
Again Laure paused a little and then said, slowly, "I MEANT
|
|
TO DO IT."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate, strong man as he was, turned pale and trembled:
|
|
moments seemed to pass before he rose and stood at a distance from her.
|
|
|
|
"There was a secret, then," he said at last, even vehemently.
|
|
"He was brutal to you: you hated him."
|
|
|
|
"No! he wearied me; he was too fond: he would live in Paris,
|
|
and not in my country; that was not agreeable to me."
|
|
|
|
"Great God!" said Lydgate, in a groan of horror. "And you planned
|
|
to murder him?"
|
|
|
|
"I did not plan: it came to me in the play--I MEANT TO DO IT."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate stood mute, and unconsciously pressed his hat on while he
|
|
looked at her. He saw this woman--the first to whom he had given
|
|
his young adoration--amid the throng of stupid criminals.
|
|
|
|
"You are a good young man," she said. "But I do not like husbands.
|
|
I will never have another."
|
|
|
|
Three days afterwards Lydgate was at his galvanism again in his
|
|
Paris chambers, believing that illusions were at an end for him.
|
|
He was saved from hardening effects by the abundant kindness
|
|
of his heart and his belief that human life might be made better.
|
|
But he had more reason than ever for trusting his judgment,
|
|
now that it was so experienced; and henceforth he would take
|
|
a strictly scientific view of woman, entertaining no expectations
|
|
but such as were justified beforehand.
|
|
|
|
No one in Middle march was likely to have such a notion of Lydgate's
|
|
past as has here been faintly shadowed, and indeed the respectable
|
|
townsfolk there were not more given than mortals generally to any
|
|
eager attempt at exactness in the representation to themselves
|
|
of what did not come under their own senses. Not only young virgins
|
|
of that town, but gray-bearded men also, were often in haste to
|
|
conjecture how a new acquaintance might be wrought into their purposes,
|
|
contented with very vague knowledge as to the way in which life had
|
|
been shaping him for that instrumentality. Middlemarch, in fact,
|
|
counted on swallowing Lydgate and assimilating him very comfortably.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XVI.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"All that in woman is adored
|
|
In thy fair self I find--
|
|
For the whole sex can but afford
|
|
The handsome and the kind."
|
|
--SIR CHARLES SEDLEY.
|
|
|
|
|
|
The question whether Mr. Tyke should be appointed as salaried
|
|
chaplain to the hospital was an exciting topic to the Middlemarchers;
|
|
and Lydgate heard it discussed in a way that threw much light
|
|
on the power exercised in the town by Mr. Bulstrode. The banker
|
|
was evidently a ruler, but there was an opposition party,
|
|
and even among his supporters there were some who allowed it to be
|
|
seen that their support was a compromise, and who frankly stated
|
|
their impression that the general scheme of things, and especially
|
|
the casualties of trade, required you to hold a candle to the devil.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode's power was not due simply to his being a country banker,
|
|
who knew the financial secrets of most traders in the town and could
|
|
touch the springs of their credit; it was fortified by a beneficence
|
|
that was at once ready and severe--ready to confer obligations,
|
|
and severe in watching the result. He had gathered, as an industrious
|
|
man always at his post, a chief share in administering the town
|
|
charities, and his private charities were both minute and abundant.
|
|
He would take a great deal of pains about apprenticing Tegg the
|
|
shoemaker's son, and he would watch over Tegg's church-going; he would
|
|
defend Mrs. Strype the washerwoman against Stubbs's unjust exaction
|
|
on the score of her drying-ground, and he would himself-scrutinize
|
|
a calumny against Mrs. Strype. His private minor loans were numerous,
|
|
but he would inquire strictly into the circumstances both before
|
|
and after. In this way a man gathers a domain in his neighbors'
|
|
hope and fear as well as gratitude; and power, when once it has
|
|
got into that subtle region, propagates itself, spreading out
|
|
of all proportion to its external means. It was a principle with
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode to gain as much power as possible, that he might use
|
|
it for the glory of God. He went through a great deal of spiritual
|
|
conflict and inward argument in order to adjust his motives, and make
|
|
clear to himself what God's glory required. But, as we have seen,
|
|
his motives were not always rightly appreciated. There were many
|
|
crass minds in Middlemarch whose reflective scales could only weigh
|
|
things in the lump; and they had a strong suspicion that since
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode could not enjoy life in their fashion, eating and
|
|
drinking so little as he did, and worreting himself about everything,
|
|
he must have a sort of vampire's feast in the sense of mastery.
|
|
|
|
The subject of the chaplaincy came up at Mr. Vincy's table when Lydgate
|
|
was dining there, and the family connection with Mr. Bulstrode
|
|
did not, he observed, prevent some freedom of remark even on the
|
|
part of the host himself, though his reasons against the proposed
|
|
arrangement turned entirely on his objection to Mr. Tyke's sermons,
|
|
which were all doctrine, and his preference for Mr. Farebrother,
|
|
whose sermons were free from that taint. Mr. Vincy liked well enough
|
|
the notion of the chaplain's having a salary, supposing it were given
|
|
to Farebrother, who was as good a little fellow as ever breathed,
|
|
and the best preacher anywhere, and companionable too.
|
|
|
|
"What line shall you take, then?" said Mr. Chichely, the coroner,
|
|
a great coursing comrade of Mr. Vincy's.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I'm precious glad I'm not one of the Directors now.
|
|
I shall vote for referring the matter to the Directors and the
|
|
Medical Board together. I shall roll some of my responsibility
|
|
on your shoulders, Doctor," said Mr. Vincy, glancing first at
|
|
Dr. Sprague, the senior physician of the town, and then at
|
|
Lydgate who sat opposite. "You medical gentlemen must consult
|
|
which sort of black draught you will prescribe, eh, Mr. Lydgate?"
|
|
|
|
"I know little of either," said Lydgate; "but in general,
|
|
appointments are apt to be made too much a question of personal liking.
|
|
The fittest man for a particular post is not always the best
|
|
fellow or the most agreeable. Sometimes, if you wanted to get
|
|
a reform, your only way would be to pension off the good fellows
|
|
whom everybody is fond of, and put them out of the question."
|
|
|
|
Dr. Sprague, who was considered the physician of most "weight,"
|
|
though Dr. Minchin was usually said to have more "penetration,"
|
|
divested his large heavy face of all expression, and looked
|
|
at his wine-glass while Lydgate was speaking. Whatever was not
|
|
problematical and suspected about this young man--for example,
|
|
a certain showiness as to foreign ideas, and a disposition
|
|
to unsettle what had been settled and forgotten by his elders--
|
|
was positively unwelcome to a physician whose standing had been fixed
|
|
thirty years before by a treatise on Meningitis, of which at least
|
|
one copy marked "own" was bound in calf. For my part I have some
|
|
fellow-feeling with Dr. Sprague: one's self-satisfaction is an
|
|
untaxed kind of property which it is very unpleasant to find deprecated.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate's remark, however, did not meet the sense of the company.
|
|
Mr. Vincy said, that if he could have HIS way, he would not put
|
|
disagreeable fellows anywhere.
|
|
|
|
"Hang your reforms!" said Mr. Chichely. "There's no greater humbug
|
|
in the world. You never hear of a reform, but it means some trick
|
|
to put in new men. I hope you are not one of the `Lancet's' men,
|
|
Mr. Lydgate--wanting to take the coronership out of the hands
|
|
of the legal profession: your words appear to point that way."
|
|
|
|
"I disapprove of Wakley," interposed Dr. Sprague, "no man more:
|
|
he is an ill-intentioned fellow, who would sacrifice the
|
|
respectability of the profession, which everybody knows depends
|
|
on the London Colleges, for the sake of getting some notoriety
|
|
for himself. There are men who don't mind about being kicked blue
|
|
if they can only get talked about. But Wakley is right sometimes,"
|
|
the Doctor added, judicially. "I could mention one or two points
|
|
in which Wakley is in the right."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, well," said Mr. Chichely, "I blame no man for standing up in favor
|
|
of his own cloth; but, coming to argument, I should like to know
|
|
how a coroner is to judge of evidence if he has not had a legal training?"
|
|
|
|
"In my opinion," said Lydgate, "legal training only makes a man more
|
|
incompetent in questions that require knowledge a of another kind.
|
|
People talk about evidence as if it could really be weighed in scales
|
|
by a blind Justice. No man can judge what is good evidence on any
|
|
particular subject, unless he knows that subject well. A lawyer
|
|
is no better than an old woman at a post-mortem examination.
|
|
How is he to know the action of a poison? You might as well say
|
|
that scanning verse will teach you to scan the potato crops."
|
|
|
|
"You are aware, I suppose, that it is not the coroner's business
|
|
to conduct the post-mortem, but only to take the evidence
|
|
of the medical witness?" said Mr. Chichely, with some scorn.
|
|
|
|
"Who is often almost as ignorant as the coroner himself," said Lydgate.
|
|
"Questions of medical jurisprudence ought not to be left to the chance
|
|
of decent knowledge in a medical witness, and the coroner ought not
|
|
to be a man who will believe that strychnine will destroy the coats
|
|
of the stomach if an ignorant practitioner happens to tell him so."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate had really lost sight of the fact that Mr. Chichely was
|
|
his Majesty's coroner, and ended innocently with the question,
|
|
"Don't you agree with me, Dr. Sprague?"
|
|
|
|
"To a certain extent--with regard to populous districts, and in
|
|
the metropolis," said the Doctor. "But I hope it will be long before
|
|
this part of the country loses the services of my friend Chichely,
|
|
even though it might get the best man in our profession to succeed him.
|
|
I am sure Vincy will agree with me."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, yes, give me a coroner who is a good coursing man,"
|
|
said Mr. Vincy, jovially. "And in my opinion,
|
|
you're safest with a lawyer. Nobody can know everything.
|
|
Most things are `visitation of God.' And as to poisoning,
|
|
why, what you want to know is the law. Come, shall we join the ladies?"
|
|
|
|
Lydgate's private opinion was that Mr. Chichely might be the
|
|
very coroner without bias as to the coats of the stomach, but he
|
|
had not meant to be personal. This was one of the difficulties
|
|
of moving in good Middlemarch society: it was dangerous to insist
|
|
on knowledge as a qualification for any salaried office. Fred Vincy
|
|
had called Lydgate a prig, and now Mr. Chichely was inclined
|
|
to call him prick-eared; especially when, in the drawing-room,
|
|
he seemed to be making himself eminently agreeable to Rosamond,
|
|
whom he had easily monopolized in a tete-a-tete, since Mrs. Vincy
|
|
herself sat at the tea-table. She resigned no domestic function
|
|
to her daughter; and the matron's blooming good-natured face,
|
|
with the two volatile pink strings floating from her fine throat,
|
|
and her cheery manners to husband and children, was certainly among
|
|
the great attractions of the Vincy house--attractions which made
|
|
it all the easier to fall in love with the daughter. The tinge
|
|
of unpretentious, inoffensive vulgarity in Mrs. Vincy gave more effect
|
|
to Rosamond's refinement, which was beyond what Lydgate had expected.
|
|
|
|
Certainly, small feet and perfectly turned shoulders aid the
|
|
impression of refined manners, and the right thing said seems
|
|
quite astonishingly right when it is accompanied with exquisite
|
|
curves of lip and eyelid. And Rosamond could say the right thing;
|
|
for she was clever with that sort of cleverness which catches every
|
|
tone except the humorous. Happily she never attempted to joke,
|
|
and this perhaps was the most decisive mark of her cleverness.
|
|
|
|
She and Lydgate readily got into conversation. He regretted
|
|
that he had not heard her sing the other day at Stone Court.
|
|
The only pleasure he allowed himself during the latter part of his
|
|
stay in Paris was to go and hear music.
|
|
|
|
"You have studied music, probably?" said Rosamond.
|
|
|
|
"No, I know the notes of many birds, and I know many melodies by ear;
|
|
but the music that I don't know at all, and have no notion about,
|
|
delights me--affects me. How stupid the world is that it does not
|
|
make more use of such a pleasure within its reach!"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, and you will find Middlemarch very tuneless. There are hardly
|
|
any good musicians. I only know two gentlemen who sing at all well."
|
|
|
|
"I suppose it is the fashion to sing comic songs in a rhythmic way,
|
|
leaving you to fancy the tune--very much as if it were tapped on
|
|
a drum?"
|
|
|
|
"Ah, you have heard Mr. Bowyer," said Rosamond, with one of her
|
|
rare smiles. "But we are speaking very ill of our neighbors."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate was almost forgetting that he must carry on the conversation,
|
|
in thinking how lovely this creature was, her garment seeming to be made
|
|
out of the faintest blue sky, herself so immaculately blond, as if
|
|
the petals of some gigantic flower had just opened and disclosed her;
|
|
and yet with this infantine blondness showing so much ready,
|
|
self-possessed grace. Since he had had the memory of Laure,
|
|
Lydgate had lost all taste for large-eyed silence: the divine
|
|
cow no longer attracted him, and Rosamond was her very opposite.
|
|
But he recalled himself.
|
|
|
|
"You will let me hear some music to-night, I hope."
|
|
|
|
"I will let you hear my attempts, if you like," said Rosamond.
|
|
"Papa is sure to insist on my singing. But I shall tremble before you,
|
|
who have heard the best singers in Paris. I have heard very little:
|
|
I have only once been to London. But our organist at St. Peter's
|
|
is a good musician, and I go on studying with him."
|
|
|
|
"Tell me what you saw in London."
|
|
|
|
"Very little." (A more naive girl would have said, "Oh, everything!"
|
|
But Rosamond knew better.) "A few of the ordinary sights, such as raw
|
|
country girls are always taken to."
|
|
|
|
"Do you call yourself a raw country girl?" said Lydgate, looking at
|
|
her with an involuntary emphasis of admiration, which made Rosamond
|
|
blush with pleasure. But she remained simply serious, turned her long
|
|
neck a little, and put up her hand to touch her wondrous hair-plaits--
|
|
an habitual gesture with her as pretty as any movements of a
|
|
kitten's paw. Not that Rosamond was in the least like a kitten:
|
|
she was a sylph caught young and educated at Mrs. Lemon's.
|
|
|
|
"I assure you my mind is raw," she said immediately; "I pass
|
|
at Middlemarch. I am not afraid of talking to our old neighbors.
|
|
But I am really afraid of you."
|
|
|
|
"An accomplished woman almost always knows more than we men,
|
|
though her knowledge is of a different sort. I am sure you could
|
|
teach me a thousand things--as an exquisite bird could teach a bear
|
|
if there were any common language between them. Happily, there is
|
|
a common language between women and men, and so the bears can
|
|
get taught."
|
|
|
|
"Ah, there is Fred beginning to strum! I must go and hinder
|
|
him from jarring all your nerves," said Rosamond, moving to the
|
|
other side of the room, where Fred having opened the piano,
|
|
at his father's desire, that Rosamond might give them some music,
|
|
was parenthetically performing "Cherry Ripe!" with one hand. Able men
|
|
who have passed their examinations will do these things sometimes,
|
|
not less than the plucked Fred.
|
|
|
|
"Fred, pray defer your practising till to-morrow; you will make
|
|
Mr. Lydgate ill," said Rosamond. "He has an ear."
|
|
|
|
Fred laughed, and went on with his tune to the end.
|
|
|
|
Rosamond turned to Lydgate, smiling gently, and said, "You perceive,
|
|
the bears will not always be taught."
|
|
|
|
"Now then, Rosy!" said Fred, springing from the stool and twisting
|
|
it upward for her, with a hearty expectation of enjoyment.
|
|
"Some good rousing tunes first."
|
|
|
|
Rosamond played admirably. Her master at Mrs. Lemon's school
|
|
(close to a county town with a memorable history that had its
|
|
relics in church and castle) was one of those excellent musicians
|
|
here and there to be found in our provinces, worthy to compare
|
|
with many a noted Kapellmeister in a country which offers more
|
|
plentiful conditions of musical celebrity. Rosamond, with the
|
|
executant's instinct, had seized his manner of playing, and gave
|
|
forth his large rendering of noble music with the precision
|
|
of an echo. It was almost startling, heard for the first time.
|
|
A hidden soul seemed to be flowing forth from Rosamond's fingers;
|
|
and so indeed it was, since souls live on in perpetual echoes,
|
|
and to all fine expression there goes somewhere an originating activity,
|
|
if it be only that of an interpreter. Lydgate was taken possession of,
|
|
and began to believe in her as something exceptional. After all,
|
|
he thought, one need not be surprised to find the rare conjunctions
|
|
of nature under circumstances apparently unfavorable: come where
|
|
they may, they always depend on conditions that are not obvious.
|
|
He sat looking at her, and did not rise to pay her any compliments,
|
|
leaving that to others, now that his admiration was deepened.
|
|
|
|
Her singing was less remarkable? but also well trained, and sweet
|
|
to hear as a chime perfectly in tune. It is true she sang "Meet
|
|
me by moonlight," and "I've been roaming;" for mortals must share
|
|
the fashions of their time, and none but the ancients can be
|
|
always classical. But Rosamond could also sing "Black-eyed Susan"
|
|
with effect, or Haydn's canzonets, or "Voi, che sapete,"
|
|
or "Batti, batti"--she only wanted to know what her audience liked.
|
|
|
|
Her father looked round at the company, delighting in their admiration.
|
|
Her mother sat, like a Niobe before her troubles, with her youngest
|
|
little girl on her lap, softly beating the child's hand up and
|
|
down in time to the music. And Fred, notwithstanding his general
|
|
scepticism about Rosy, listened to her music with perfect allegiance,
|
|
wishing he could do the same thing on his flute. It was the pleasantest
|
|
family party that Lydgate had seen since he came to Middlemarch.
|
|
The Vincys had the readiness to enjoy, the rejection of all anxiety,
|
|
and the belief in life as a merry lot, which made a house exceptional
|
|
in most county towns at that time, when Evangelicalism had east
|
|
a certain suspicion as of plague-infection over the few amusements
|
|
which survived in the provinces. At the Vincys' there was always whist,
|
|
and the card-tables stood ready now, making some of the company secretly
|
|
impatient of the music. Before it ceased Mr. Farebrother came in--
|
|
a handsome, broad-chested but otherwise small man, about forty,
|
|
whose black was very threadbare: the brilliancy was all in his
|
|
quick gray eyes. He came like a pleasant change in the light,
|
|
arresting little Louisa with fatherly nonsense as she was being
|
|
led out of the room by Miss Morgan, greeting everybody with some
|
|
special word, and seeming to condense more talk into ten minutes
|
|
than had been held all through the evening. He claimed from
|
|
Lydgate the fulfilment of a promise to come and see him. "I can't
|
|
let you off, you know, because I have some beetles to show you.
|
|
We collectors feel an interest in every new man till he has seen
|
|
all we have to show him."
|
|
|
|
But soon he swerved to the whist-table, rubbing his hands and saying,
|
|
"Come now, let us be serious! Mr. Lydgate? not play? Ah! you are
|
|
too young and light for this kind of thing."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate said to himself that the clergyman whose abilities were so
|
|
painful to Mr. Bulstrode, appeared to have found an agreeable resort
|
|
in this certainly not erudite household. He could half understand it:
|
|
the good-humor, the good looks of elder and younger, and the
|
|
provision for passing the time without any labor of intelligence,
|
|
might make the house beguiling to people who had no particular
|
|
use for their odd hours.
|
|
|
|
Everything looked blooming and joyous except Miss Morgan,
|
|
who was brown, dull, and resigned, and altogether, as Mrs. Vincy
|
|
often said, just the sort of person for a governess. Lydgate did
|
|
not mean to pay many such visits himself. They were a wretched
|
|
waste of the evenings; and now, when he had talked a little
|
|
more to Rosamond, he meant to excuse himself and go.
|
|
|
|
"You will not like us at Middlemarch, I feel sure," she said,
|
|
when the whist-players were settled. "We are very stupid, and you
|
|
have been used to something quite different."
|
|
|
|
"I suppose all country towns are pretty much alike," said Lydgate.
|
|
"But I have noticed that one always believes one's own town
|
|
to be more stupid than any other. I have made up my mind to take
|
|
Middlemarch as it comes, and shall be much obliged if the town
|
|
will take me in the same way. I have certainly found some charms
|
|
in it which are much greater than I had expected."
|
|
|
|
"You mean the rides towards Tipton and Lowick; every one is pleased
|
|
with those," said Rosamond, with simplicity.
|
|
|
|
"No, I mean something much nearer to me."
|
|
|
|
Rosamond rose and reached her netting, and then said, "Do you
|
|
care about dancing at all? I am not quite sure whether clever
|
|
men ever dance."
|
|
|
|
"I would dance with you if you would allow me."
|
|
|
|
"Oh!" said Rosamond, with a slight deprecatory laugh. "I was only
|
|
going to say that we sometimes have dancing, and I wanted to know
|
|
whether you would feel insulted if you were asked to come."
|
|
|
|
"Not on the condition I mentioned."
|
|
|
|
After this chat Lydgate thought that he was going, but on moving towards
|
|
the whist-tables, he got interested in watching Mr. Farebrother's play,
|
|
which was masterly, and also his face, which was a striking mixture
|
|
of the shrewd and the mild. At ten o'clock supper was brought in
|
|
(such were the customs of Middlemarch) and there was punch-drinking;
|
|
but Mr. Farebrother had only a glass of water. He was winning,
|
|
but there seemed to be no reason why the renewal of rubbers should end,
|
|
and Lydgate at last took his leave.
|
|
|
|
But as it was not eleven o'clock, he chose to walk in the brisk
|
|
air towards the tower of St. Botolph's, Mr. Farebrother's church,
|
|
which stood out dark, square, and massive against the starlight.
|
|
It was the oldest church in Middlemarch; the living, however, was but
|
|
a vicarage worth barely four hundred a-year. Lydgate had heard that,
|
|
and he wondered now whether Mr. Farebrother cared about the money
|
|
he won at cards; thinking, "He seems a very pleasant fellow,
|
|
but Bulstrode may have his good reasons." Many things would be
|
|
easier to Lydgate if it should turn out that Mr. Bulstrode was
|
|
generally justifiable. "What is his religious doctrine to me, if he
|
|
carries some good notions along with it? One must use such brains
|
|
as are to be found."
|
|
|
|
These were actually Lydgate's first meditations as he walked away from
|
|
Mr. Vincy's, and on this ground I fear that many ladies will consider
|
|
him hardly worthy of their attention. He thought of Rosamond and her
|
|
music only in the second place; and though, when her turn came, he dwelt
|
|
on the image of her for the rest of his walk, he felt no agitation,
|
|
and had no sense that any new current had set into his life.
|
|
He could not marry yet; he wished not to marry for several years;
|
|
and therefore he was not ready to entertain the notion of being
|
|
in love with a girl whom he happened to admire. He did admire
|
|
Rosamond exceedingly; but that madness which had once beset him about
|
|
Laure was not, he thought, likely to recur in relation to any other
|
|
woman Certainly, if falling in love had been at all in question,
|
|
it would have been quite safe with a creature like this Miss Vincy,
|
|
who had just the kind of intelligence one would desire in a woman--
|
|
polished, refined, docile, lending itself to finish in all the
|
|
delicacies of life, and enshrined in a body which expressed this with
|
|
a force of demonstration that excluded the need for other evidence.
|
|
Lydgate felt sure that if ever he married, his wife would have
|
|
that feminine radiance, that distinctive womanhood which must be
|
|
classed with flowers and music, that sort of beauty which by its
|
|
very nature was virtuous, being moulded only for pure and delicate joys.
|
|
|
|
But since he did not mean to marry for the next five years--
|
|
his more pressing business was to look into Louis' new book on Fever,
|
|
which he was specially interested in, because he had known Louis
|
|
in Paris, and had followed many anatomical demonstrations in order
|
|
to ascertain the specific differences of typhus and typhoid.
|
|
He went home and read far into the smallest hour, bringing a much
|
|
more testing vision of details and relations into this pathological
|
|
study than he had ever thought it necessary to apply to the
|
|
complexities of love and marriage, these being subjects on which he
|
|
felt himself amply informed by literature, and that traditional
|
|
wisdom which is handed down in the genial conversation of men.
|
|
Whereas Fever had obscure conditions, and gave him that delightful
|
|
labor of the imagination which is not mere arbitrariness, but the
|
|
exercise of disciplined power--combining and constructing with the
|
|
clearest eye for probabilities and the fullest obedience to knowledge;
|
|
and then, in yet more energetic alliance with impartial Nature,
|
|
standing aloof to invent tests by which to try its own work.
|
|
|
|
Many men have been praised as vividly imaginative on the strength
|
|
of their profuseness in indifferent drawing or cheap narration:--
|
|
reports of very poor talk going on in distant orbs; or portraits
|
|
of Lucifer coming down on his bad errands as a large ugly man
|
|
with bat's wings and spurts of phosphorescence; or exaggerations
|
|
of wantonness that seem to reflect life in a diseased dream.
|
|
But these kinds of inspiration Lydgate regarded as rather vulgar
|
|
and vinous compared with the imagination that reveals subtle
|
|
actions inaccessible by any sort of lens, but tracked in that outer
|
|
darkness through long pathways of necessary sequence by the inward
|
|
light which is the last refinement of Energy, capable of bathing
|
|
even the ethereal atoms in its ideally illuminated space.
|
|
He for his part had tossed away all cheap inventions where ignorance
|
|
finds itself able and at ease: he was enamoured of that arduous
|
|
invention which is the very eye of research, provisionally framing
|
|
its object and correcting it to more and more exactness of relation;
|
|
he wanted to pierce the obscurity of those minute processes
|
|
which prepare human misery and joy, those invisible thoroughfares
|
|
which are the first lurking-places of anguish, mania, and crime,
|
|
that delicate poise and transition which determine the growth of happy
|
|
or unhappy consciousness.
|
|
|
|
As he threw down his book, stretched his legs towards the embers
|
|
in the grate, and clasped his hands at the back of his head,
|
|
in that agreeable afterglow of excitement when thought lapses from
|
|
examination of a specific object into a suffusive sense of its
|
|
connections with all the rest of our existence--seems, as it were,
|
|
to throw itself on its back after vigorous swimming and float
|
|
with the repose of unexhausted strength--Lydgate felt a triumphant
|
|
delight in his studies, and something like pity for those less
|
|
lucky men who were not of his profession.
|
|
|
|
"If I had not taken that turn when I was a lad," he thought,
|
|
"I might have got into some stupid draught-horse work or other,
|
|
and lived always in blinkers. I should never have been happy in any
|
|
profession that did not call forth the highest intellectual strain,
|
|
and yet keep me in good warm contact with my neighbors. There is
|
|
nothing like the medical profession for that: one can have the
|
|
exclusive scientific life that touches the distance and befriend the
|
|
old fogies in the parish too. It is rather harder for a clergyman:
|
|
Farebrother seems to be an anomaly."
|
|
|
|
This last thought brought back the Vincys and all the pictures
|
|
of the evening. They floated in his mind agreeably enough,
|
|
and as he took up his bed-candle his lips were curled with that
|
|
incipient smile which is apt to accompany agreeable recollections.
|
|
He was an ardent fellow, but at present his ardor was absorbed in
|
|
love of his work and in the ambition of making his life recognized
|
|
as a factor in the better life of mankind--like other heroes of
|
|
science who had nothing but an obscure country practice to begin with.
|
|
|
|
Poor Lydgate! or shall I say, Poor Rosamond! Each lived in a world
|
|
of which the other knew nothing. It had not occurred to Lydgate
|
|
that he had been a subject of eager meditation to Rosamond,
|
|
who had neither any reason for throwing her marriage into distant
|
|
perspective, nor any pathological studies to divert her mind from
|
|
that ruminating habit, that inward repetition of looks, words,
|
|
and phrases, which makes a large part in the lives of most girls.
|
|
He had not meant to look at her or speak to her with more than
|
|
the inevitable amount of admiration and compliment which a man
|
|
must give to a beautiful girl; indeed, it seemed to him that his
|
|
enjoyment of her music had remained almost silent, for he feared
|
|
falling into the rudeness of telling her his great surprise at her
|
|
possession of such accomplishment. But Rosamond had registered
|
|
every look and word, and estimated them as the opening incidents
|
|
of a preconceived romance--incidents which gather value from the
|
|
foreseen development and climax. In Rosamond's romance it was not
|
|
necessary to imagine much about the inward life of the hero, or of
|
|
his serious business in the world: of course, he had a profession
|
|
and was clever, as well as sufficiently handsome; but the piquant
|
|
fact about Lydgate was his good birth, which distinguished him
|
|
from all Middlemarch admirers, and presented marriage as a prospect
|
|
of rising in rank and getting a little nearer to that celestial
|
|
condition on earth in which she would have nothing to do with
|
|
vulgar people, and perhaps at last associate with relatives quite
|
|
equal to the county people who looked down on the Middlemarchers.
|
|
It was part of Rosamond's cleverness to discern very subtly the
|
|
faintest aroma of rank, and once when she had seen the Miss Brookes
|
|
accompanying their uncle at the county assizes, and seated among
|
|
the aristocracy, she had envied them, notwithstanding their plain dress.
|
|
|
|
If you think it incredible that to imagine Lydgate as a man of family
|
|
could cause thrills of satisfaction which had anything to do with
|
|
the sense that she was in love with him, I will ask you to use your
|
|
power of comparison a little more effectively, and consider whether
|
|
red cloth and epaulets have never had an influence of that sort.
|
|
Our passions do not live apart in locked chambers, but, dressed in
|
|
their small wardrobe of notions, bring their provisions to a common
|
|
table and mess together, feeding out of the common store according
|
|
to their appetite.
|
|
|
|
Rosamond, in fact, was entirely occupied not exactly with Tertius
|
|
Lydgate as he was in himself, but with his relation to her; and it
|
|
was excusable in a girl who was accustomed to hear that all young
|
|
men might, could, would be, or actually were in love with her,
|
|
to believe at once that Lydgate could be no exception. His looks
|
|
and words meant more to her than other men's, because she cared
|
|
more for them: she thought of them diligently, and diligently
|
|
attended to that perfection of appearance, behavior, sentiments,
|
|
and all other elegancies, which would find in Lydgate a more
|
|
adequate admirer than she had yet been conscious of.
|
|
|
|
For Rosamond, though she would never do anything that was disagreeable
|
|
to her, was industrious; and now more than ever she was active in
|
|
sketching her landscapes and market-carts and portraits of friends,
|
|
in practising her music, and in being from morning till night her
|
|
own standard of a perfect lady, having always an audience in her
|
|
own consciousness, with sometimes the not unwelcome addition of a more
|
|
variable external audience in the numerous visitors of the house.
|
|
She found time also to read the best novels, and even the second best,
|
|
and she knew much poetry by heart. Her favorite poem was "Lalla Rookh."
|
|
|
|
"The best girl in the world! He will be a happy fellow who gets her!"
|
|
was the sentiment of the elderly gentlemen who visited the Vincys;
|
|
and the rejected young men thought of trying again, as is the fashion
|
|
in country towns where the horizon is not thick with coming rivals.
|
|
But Mrs. Plymdale thought that Rosamond had been educated to a
|
|
ridiculous pitch, for what was the use of accomplishments which would
|
|
be all laid aside as soon as she was married? While her aunt Bulstrode,
|
|
who had a sisterly faithfulness towards her brother's family,
|
|
had two sincere wishes for Rosamond--that she might show a more
|
|
serious turn of mind, and that she might meet with a husband whose
|
|
wealth corresponded to her habits.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XVII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"The clerkly person smiled and said
|
|
Promise was a pretty maid,
|
|
But being poor she died unwed."
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Rev. Camden Farebrother, whom Lydgate went to see the
|
|
next evening, lived in an old parsonage, built of stone,
|
|
venerable enough to match the church which it looked out upon.
|
|
All the furniture too in the house was old, but with another
|
|
grade of age--that of Mr. Farebrother's father and grandfather.
|
|
There were painted white chairs, with gilding and wreaths on them,
|
|
and some lingering red silk damask with slits in it. There were
|
|
engraved portraits of Lord Chancellors and other celebrated lawyers
|
|
of the last century; and there were old pier-glasses to reflect them,
|
|
as well as the little satin-wood tables and the sofas resembling
|
|
a prolongation of uneasy chairs, all standing in relief against
|
|
the dark wainscot This was the physiognomy of the drawing-room into
|
|
which Lydgate was shown; and there were three ladies to receive him,
|
|
who were also old-fashioned, and of a faded but genuine respectability:
|
|
Mrs. Farebrother, the Vicar's white-haired mother, befrilled and
|
|
kerchiefed with dainty cleanliness, up right, quick-eyed, and
|
|
still under seventy; Miss Noble, her sister, a tiny old lady
|
|
of meeker aspect, with frills and kerchief decidedly more worn
|
|
and mended; and Miss Winifred Farebrother, the Vicar's elder sister,
|
|
well-looking like himself, but nipped and subdued as single women
|
|
are apt to be who spend their lives in uninterrupted subjection
|
|
to their elders. Lydgate had not expected to see so quaint a group:
|
|
knowing simply that Mr. Farebrother was a bachelor, he had thought
|
|
of being ushered into a snuggery where the chief furniture would
|
|
probably be books and collections of natural objects. The Vicar
|
|
himself seemed to wear rather a changed aspect, as most men do
|
|
when acquaintances made elsewhere see them for the first time
|
|
in their own homes; some indeed showing like an actor of genial
|
|
parts disadvantageously cast for the curmudgeon in a new piece.
|
|
This was not the case with Mr. Farebrother: he seemed a trifle milder
|
|
and more silent, the chief talker being his mother, while he only put
|
|
in a good-humored moderating remark here and there. The old lady
|
|
was evidently accustomed to tell her company what they ought to think,
|
|
and to regard no subject as quite safe without her steering.
|
|
She was afforded leisure for this function by having all her little
|
|
wants attended to by Miss Winifred. Meanwhile tiny Miss Noble
|
|
carried on her arm a small basket, into which she diverted a bit
|
|
of sugar, which she had first dropped in her saucer as if by mistake;
|
|
looking round furtively afterwards, and reverting to her teacup
|
|
with a small innocent noise as of a tiny timid quadruped.
|
|
Pray think no ill of Miss Noble. That basket held small savings
|
|
from her more portable food, destined for the children of her poor
|
|
friends among whom she trotted on fine mornings; fostering and
|
|
petting all needy creatures being so spontaneous a delight to her,
|
|
that she regarded it much as if it had been a pleasant vice that she
|
|
was addicted to. Perhaps she was conscious of being tempted to steal
|
|
from those who had much that she might give to those who had nothing,
|
|
and carried in her conscience the guilt of that repressed desire.
|
|
One must be poor to know the luxury of giving!
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Farebrother welcomed the guest with a lively formality
|
|
and precision. She presently informed him that they were not often
|
|
in want of medical aid in that house. She had brought up her
|
|
children to wear flannel and not to over-eat themselves, which last
|
|
habit she considered the chief reason why people needed doctors.
|
|
Lydgate pleaded for those whose fathers and mothers had over-eaten
|
|
themselves, but Mrs. Farebrother held that view of things dangerous:
|
|
Nature was more just than that; it would be easy for any felon
|
|
to say that his ancestors ought to have been hanged instead of him.
|
|
If those he had bad fathers and mothers were bad themselves, they were
|
|
hanged for that. There was no need to go back on what you couldn't see.
|
|
|
|
"My mother is like old George the Third," said the Vicar,
|
|
"she objects to metaphysics."
|
|
|
|
"I object to what is wrong, Camden. I say, keep hold of a
|
|
few plain truths, and make everything square with them. When I was young,
|
|
Mr. Lydgate, there never was any question about right and wrong.
|
|
We knew our catechism, and that was enough; we learned our creed and
|
|
our duty. Every respectable Church person had the same opinions.
|
|
But now, if you speak out of the Prayer-book itself, you are liable
|
|
to be contradicted."
|
|
|
|
"That makes rather a pleasant time of it for those who like
|
|
to maintain their own point," said Lydgate.
|
|
|
|
"But my mother always gives way," said the Vicar, slyly.
|
|
|
|
"No, no, Camden, you must not lead Mr. Lydgate into a mistake about
|
|
ME. I shall never show that disrespect to my parents, to give
|
|
up what they taught me. Any one may see what comes of turning.
|
|
If you change once, why not twenty times?"
|
|
|
|
"A man might see good arguments for changing once, and not see
|
|
them for changing again," said Lydgate, amused with the decisive
|
|
old lady.
|
|
|
|
"Excuse me there. If you go upon arguments, they are never wanting,
|
|
when a man has no constancy of mind. My father never changed, and he
|
|
preached plain moral sermons without arguments, and was a good man--
|
|
few better. When you get me a good man made out of arguments,
|
|
I will get you a good dinner with reading you the cookery-book. That's
|
|
my opinion, and I think anybody's stomach will bear me out."
|
|
|
|
"About the dinner certainly, mother," said Mr. Farebrother.
|
|
|
|
"It is the same thing, the dinner or the man. I am nearly seventy,
|
|
Mr. Lydgate, and I go upon experience. I am not likely to follow
|
|
new lights, though there are plenty of them here as elsewhere.
|
|
I say, they came in with the mixed stuffs that will neither wash
|
|
nor wear. It was not so in my youth: a Churchman was a Churchman,
|
|
and a clergyman, you might be pretty sure, was a gentleman,
|
|
if nothing else. But now he may be no better than a Dissenter,
|
|
and want to push aside my son on pretence of doctrine. But whoever
|
|
may wish to push him aside, I am proud to say, Mr. Lydgate,
|
|
that he will compare with any preacher in this kingdom, not to speak
|
|
of this town, which is but a low standard to go by; at least,
|
|
to my thinking, for I was born and bred at Exeter."
|
|
|
|
"A mother is never partial," said Mr. Farebrother, smiling.
|
|
"What do you think Tyke's mother says about him?"
|
|
|
|
"Ah, poor creature! what indeed?" said Mrs. Farebrother, her sharpness
|
|
blunted for the moment by her confidence in maternal judgments.
|
|
"She says the truth to herself, depend upon it."
|
|
|
|
"And what is the truth?" said-Lydgate. "I am curious to know."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, nothing bad at all," said Mr. Farebrother. "He is a
|
|
zealous fellow: not very learned, and not very wise, I think--
|
|
because I don't agree with him."
|
|
|
|
"Why, Camden!" said Miss Winifred, "Griffin and his wife told me
|
|
only to-day, that Mr. Tyke said they should have no more coals
|
|
if they came to hear you preach."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Farebrother laid down her knitting, which she had resumed after
|
|
her small allowance of tea and toast, and looked at her son as if to
|
|
say "You hear that?" Miss Noble said, "Oh poor things! poor things!"
|
|
in reference, probably, to the double loss of preaching and coal.
|
|
But the Vicar answered quietly--
|
|
|
|
"That is because they are not my parishioners. And I don't think
|
|
my sermons are worth a load of coals to them."
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Lydgate," said Mrs. Farebrother, who could not let this pass,
|
|
"you don't know my son: he always undervalues himself. I tell
|
|
him he is undervaluing the God who made him, and made him a most
|
|
excellent preacher."
|
|
|
|
"That must be a hint for me to take Mr. Lydgate away to
|
|
my study, mother," said the Vicar, laughing. "I promised
|
|
to show you my collection," he added, turning to Lydgate; "shall we go?"
|
|
|
|
All three ladies remonstrated. Mr. Lydgate ought not to be
|
|
hurried away without being allowed to accept another cup of tea:
|
|
Miss Winifred had abundance of good tea in the pot. Why was Camden
|
|
in such haste to take a visitor to his den? There was nothing
|
|
but pickled vermin, and drawers full of blue-bottles and moths,
|
|
with no carpet on the floor. Mr. Lydgate must excuse it. A game
|
|
at cribbage would be far better. In short, it was plain that a vicar
|
|
might be adored by his womankind as the king of men and preachers,
|
|
and yet be held by them to stand in much need of their direction.
|
|
Lydgate, with the usual shallowness of a young bachelor.
|
|
wondered that Mr. Farebrother had not taught them better.
|
|
|
|
"My mother is not used to my having visitors who can take any interest
|
|
in my hobbies," said the Vicar, as he opened the door of his study,
|
|
which was indeed as bare of luxuries for the body as the ladies
|
|
had implied, unless a short porcelain pipe and a tobacco-box were
|
|
to be excepted.
|
|
|
|
"Men of your profession don't generally smoke," he said. Lydgate smiled
|
|
and shook his head. "Nor of mine either, properly, I suppose.
|
|
You will hear that pipe alleged against me by Bulstrode and Company.
|
|
They don't know how pleased the devil would be if I gave it up."
|
|
|
|
"I understand. You are of an excitable temper and want a sedative.
|
|
I am heavier, and should get idle with it. I should rush into idleness,
|
|
and stagnate there with all my might."
|
|
|
|
"And you mean to give it all to your work. I am some ten
|
|
or twelve years older than you, and have come to a compromise.
|
|
I feed a weakness or two lest they should get clamorous. See,"
|
|
continued the Vicar, opening several small drawers, "I fancy I
|
|
have made an exhaustive study of the entomology of this district.
|
|
I am going on both with the fauna and flora; but I have at least
|
|
done my insects well. We are singularly rich in orthoptera:
|
|
I don't know whether--Ah! you have got hold of that glass jar--
|
|
you are looking into that instead of my drawers. You don't really
|
|
care about these things?"
|
|
|
|
"Not by the side of this lovely anencephalous monster.
|
|
I have never had time to give myself much to natural history.
|
|
I was early bitten with an interest in structure, and it is what
|
|
lies most directly in my profession. I have no hobby besides.
|
|
I have the sea to swim in there."
|
|
|
|
"Ah! you are a happy fellow," said Mr. Farebrother, turning on his
|
|
heel and beginning to fill his pipe. "You don't know what it is
|
|
to want spiritual tobacco--bad emendations of old texts, or small
|
|
items about a variety of Aphis Brassicae, with the well-known
|
|
signature of Philomicron, for the `Twaddler's Magazine;' or a learned
|
|
treatise on the entomology of the Pentateuch, including all the
|
|
insects not mentioned, but probably met with by the Israelites
|
|
in their passage through the desert; with a monograph on the Ant,
|
|
as treated by Solomon, showing the harmony of the Book of Proverbs
|
|
with the results of modern research. You don't mind my fumigating you?"
|
|
|
|
Lydgate was more surprised at the openness of this talk than at its
|
|
implied meaning--that the Vicar felt himself not altogether in the
|
|
right vocation. The neat fitting-up of drawers and shelves, and the
|
|
bookcase filled with expensive illustrated books on Natural History,
|
|
made him think again of the winnings at cards and their destination.
|
|
But he was beginning to wish that the very best construction
|
|
of everything that Mr. Farebrother did should be the true one.
|
|
The Vicar's frankness seemed not of the repulsive sort Chat comes
|
|
from an uneasy consciousness seeking to forestall the judgment
|
|
of others, but simply the relief of a desire to do with as little
|
|
pretence as possible. Apparently he was not without a sense that
|
|
his freedom of speech might seem premature, for he presently said--
|
|
|
|
"I have not yet told you that I have the advantage of you,
|
|
Mr. Lydgate, and know you better than you know me. You remember
|
|
Trawley who shared your apartment at Paris for some time?
|
|
I was a correspondent of his, and he told me a good deal about you.
|
|
I was not quite sure when you first came that you were the same man.
|
|
I was very glad when I found that you were. Only I don't forget
|
|
that you have not had the like prologue about me."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate divined some delicacy of feeling here, but did not half
|
|
understand it. "By the way," he said, "what has become of Trawley?
|
|
I have quite lost sight of him. He was hot on the French
|
|
social systems, and talked of going to the Backwoods to found
|
|
a sort of Pythagorean community. Is he gone?"
|
|
|
|
"Not at all. He is practising at a German bath, and has married
|
|
a rich patient."
|
|
|
|
Then my notions wear the best, so far," said Lydgate, with a
|
|
short scornful laugh. "He would have it, the medical profession was
|
|
an inevitable system of humbug. I said, the fault was in the men--
|
|
men who truckle to lies and folly. Instead of preaching against
|
|
humbug outside the walls, it might be better to set up a disinfecting
|
|
apparatus within. In short--I am reporting my own conversation--
|
|
you may be sure I had all the good sense on my side."
|
|
|
|
"Your scheme is a good deal more difficult to carry out than the
|
|
Pythagorean community, though. You have not only got the old Adam
|
|
in yourself against you, but you have got all those descendants
|
|
of the original Adam who form the society around you. You see,
|
|
I have paid twelve or thirteen years more than you for my knowledge
|
|
of difficulties. But"--Mr. Farebrother broke off a moment,
|
|
and then added, "you are eying that glass vase again. Do you want
|
|
to make an exchange? You shall not have it without a fair barter."
|
|
|
|
"I have some sea-mice--fine specimens--in spirits. And I will
|
|
throw in Robert Brown's new thing--`Microscopic Observations
|
|
on the Pollen of Plants'--if you don't happen to have it already."
|
|
|
|
"Why, seeing how you long for the monster, I might ask a higher price.
|
|
Suppose I ask you to look through my drawers and agree with me
|
|
about all my new species?" The Vicar, while he talked in this way,
|
|
alternately moved about with his pipe in his mouth, and returned to hang
|
|
rather fondly over his drawers. "That would be good discipline, you know,
|
|
for a young doctor who has to please his patients in Middlemarch.
|
|
You must learn to be bored, remember. However, you shall have
|
|
the monster on your own terms."
|
|
|
|
"Don't you think men overrate the necessity for humoring everybody's
|
|
nonsense, till they get despised by the very fools they humor?"
|
|
said Lydgate, moving to Mr. Farebrother's side, and looking rather
|
|
absently at the insects ranged in fine gradation, with names subscribed
|
|
in exquisite writing. "The shortest way is to make your value felt,
|
|
so that people must put up with you whether you flatter them or not."
|
|
|
|
"With all my heart. But then you must be sure of having the value,
|
|
and you must keep yourself independent. Very few men can do that.
|
|
Either you slip out of service altogether, and become good for nothing,
|
|
or you wear the harness and draw a good deal where your yoke-fellows
|
|
pull you. But do look at these delicate orthoptera!"
|
|
|
|
Lydgate had after all to give some scrutiny to each drawer,
|
|
the Vicar laughing at himself, and yet persisting in the exhibition.
|
|
|
|
"Apropos of what you said about wearing harness," Lydgate began,
|
|
after they had sat down, "I made up my mind some time ago to do
|
|
with as little of it as-possible. That was why I determined not to
|
|
try anything in London, for a good many years at least. I didn't
|
|
like what I saw when I was studying there--so much empty bigwiggism,
|
|
and obstructive trickery. In the country, people have less pretension
|
|
to knowledge, and are less of companions, but for that reason they
|
|
affect one's amour-propre less: one makes less bad blood,
|
|
and can follow one's own course more quietly."
|
|
|
|
"Yes--well--you have got a good start; you are in the right profession,
|
|
the work you feel yourself most fit for. Some people miss that,
|
|
and repent too late. But you must not be too sure of keeping
|
|
your independence."
|
|
|
|
"You mean of family ties?" said Lydgate, conceiving that these
|
|
might press rather tightly on Mr. Farebrother.
|
|
|
|
"Not altogether. Of course they make many things more difficult.
|
|
But a good wife--a good unworldly woman--may really help a man,
|
|
and keep him more independent. There's a parishioner of mine--
|
|
a fine fellow, but who would hardly have pulled through as he has done
|
|
without his wife. Do you know the Garths? I think they were not
|
|
Peacock's patients."
|
|
|
|
"No; but there is a Miss Garth at old Featherstone's, at Lowick."
|
|
|
|
"Their daughter: an excellent girl."
|
|
|
|
"She is very quiet--I have hardly noticed her."
|
|
|
|
"She has taken notice of you, though, depend upon it."
|
|
|
|
"I don't understand," said Lydgate; he could hardly say "Of course."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, she gauges everybody. I prepared her for confirmation--
|
|
she is a favorite of mine."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Farebrother puffed a few moments in silence, Lydgate not caring
|
|
to know more about the Garths. At last the Vicar laid down his pipe,
|
|
stretched out his legs, and turned his bright eyes with a smile
|
|
towards Lydgate, saying--
|
|
|
|
"But we Middlemarchers are not so tame as you take us to be.
|
|
We have our intrigues and our parties. I am a party man,
|
|
for example, and Bulstrode is another. If you vote for me you
|
|
will offend Bulstrode."
|
|
|
|
"What is there against Bulstrode?" said Lydgate, emphatically.
|
|
|
|
"I did not say there was anything against him except that.
|
|
If you vote against him you will make him your enemy."
|
|
|
|
"I don't know that I need mind about that," said Lydgate,
|
|
rather proudly; "but he seems to have good ideas about hospitals,
|
|
and he spends large sums on useful public objects. He might help me
|
|
a good deal in carrying out my ideas. As to his religious notions--
|
|
why, as Voltaire said, incantations will destroy a flock of sheep
|
|
if administered with a certain quantity of arsenic. I look for the
|
|
man who will bring the arsenic, and don't mind about his incantations."
|
|
|
|
"Very good. But then you must not offend your arsenic-man. You will
|
|
not offend me, you know," said Mr. Farebrother, quite unaffectedly.
|
|
"I don't translate my own convenience into other people's duties.
|
|
I am opposed to Bulstrode in many ways. I don't like the set
|
|
he belongs to: they are a narrow ignorant set, and do more to
|
|
make their neighbors uncomfortable than to make them better.
|
|
Their system is a sort of worldly-spiritual cliqueism: they really
|
|
look on the rest of mankind as a doomed carcass which is to nourish
|
|
them for heaven. But," he added, smilingly, "I don't say that
|
|
Bulstrode's new hospital is a bad thing; and as to his wanting to oust
|
|
me from the old one--why, if he thinks me a mischievous fellow,
|
|
he is only returning a compliment. And I am not a model clergyman--
|
|
only a decent makeshift."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate was not at all sure that the Vicar maligned himself.
|
|
A model clergyman, like a model doctor, ought to think his own
|
|
profession the finest in the world, and take all knowledge as mere
|
|
nourishment to his moral pathology and therapeutics. He only said,
|
|
"What reason does Bulstrode give for superseding you?"
|
|
|
|
"That I don't teach his opinions--which he calls spiritual religion;
|
|
and that I have no time to spare. Both statements are true.
|
|
But then I could make time, and I should be glad of the forty pounds.
|
|
That is the plain fact of the case. But let us dismiss it.
|
|
I only wanted to tell you that if you vote for your arsenic-man,
|
|
you are not to cut me in consequence. I can't spare you.
|
|
You are a sort of circumnavigator come to settle among us, and will
|
|
keep up my belief in the antipodes. Now tell me all about them
|
|
in Paris."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XVIII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Oh, sir, the loftiest hopes on earth
|
|
Draw lots with meaner hopes: heroic breasts,
|
|
Breathing bad air, ran risk of pestilence;
|
|
Or, lacking lime-juice when they cross the Line,
|
|
May languish with the scurvy."
|
|
|
|
|
|
Some weeks passed after this conversation before the question of the
|
|
chaplaincy gathered any practical import for Lydgate, and without telling
|
|
himself the reason, he deferred the predetermination on which side he
|
|
should give his vote. It would really have been a matter of total
|
|
indifference to him--that is to say, he would have taken the more
|
|
convenient side, and given his vote for the appointment of Tyke without
|
|
any hesitation--if he had not cared personally for Mr. Farebrother.
|
|
|
|
But his liking for the Vicar of St. Botolph's grew with
|
|
growing acquaintanceship. That, entering into Lydgate's position
|
|
as a new-comer who had his own professional objects to secure,
|
|
Mr. Farebrother should have taken pains rather to warn off than
|
|
to obtain his interest, showed an unusual delicacy and generosity,
|
|
which Lydgate's nature was keenly alive to. It went along with other
|
|
points of conduct in Mr. Fare brother which were exceptionally fine,
|
|
and made his character resemble those southern landscapes which seem
|
|
divided between natural grandeur and social slovenliness. Very few
|
|
men could have been as filial and chivalrous as he was to the mother,
|
|
aunt, and sister, whose dependence on him had in many ways shaped
|
|
his life rather uneasily for himself; few men who feel the pressure
|
|
of small needs are so nobly resolute not to dress up their inevitably
|
|
self-interested desires in a pretext of better motives. In these
|
|
matters he was conscious that his life would bear the closest scrutiny;
|
|
and perhaps the consciousness encouraged a little defiance towards
|
|
the critical strictness of persons whose celestial intimacies
|
|
seemed not to improve their domestic manners, and whose lofty aims
|
|
were not needed to account for their actions. Then, his preaching
|
|
was ingenious and pithy, like the preaching of the English Church
|
|
in its robust age, and his sermons were delivered without book.
|
|
People outside his parish went to hear him; and, since to fill the
|
|
church was always the most difficult part of a clergyman's function,
|
|
here was another ground for a careless sense of superiority.
|
|
Besides, he was a likable man: sweet-tempered, ready-witted, frank,
|
|
without grins of suppressed bitterness or other conversational
|
|
flavors which make half of us an affliction to our friends.
|
|
Lydgate liked him heartily, and wished for his friendship.
|
|
|
|
With this feeling uppermost, he continued to waive the question
|
|
of the chaplaincy, and to persuade himself that it was not only
|
|
no proper business of his, but likely enough never to vex him
|
|
with a demand for his vote. Lydgate, at Mr. Bulstrode's request,
|
|
was laying down plans for the internal arrangements of the new hospital,
|
|
and the two were often in consultation. The banker was always
|
|
presupposing that he could count in general on Lydgate as a coadjutor,
|
|
but made no special recurrence to the coming decision between Tyke
|
|
and Farebrother. When the General Board of the Infirmary had met,
|
|
however, and Lydgate had notice that the question of the chaplaincy
|
|
was thrown on a council of the directors and medical men, to meet
|
|
on the following Friday, he had a vexed sense that he must make up
|
|
his mind on this trivial Middlemarch business. He could not help
|
|
hearing within him the distinct declaration that Bulstrode was
|
|
prime minister, and that the Tyke affair was a question of office
|
|
or no office; and he could not help an equally pronounced dislike
|
|
to giving up the prospect of office. For his observation was
|
|
constantly confirming Mr. Farebrother's assurance that the banker
|
|
would not overlook opposition. "Confound their petty politics!"
|
|
was one of his thoughts for three mornings in the meditative
|
|
process of shaving, when he had begun to feel that he must really
|
|
hold a court of conscience on this matter. Certainly there were
|
|
valid things to be said against the election of Mr. Farebrother:
|
|
he had too much on his hands already, especially considering
|
|
how much time he spent on non-clerical occupations. Then again
|
|
it was a continually repeated shock, disturbing Lydgate's esteem,
|
|
that the Vicar should obviously play for the sake of money,
|
|
liking the play indeed, but evidently liking some end which it served.
|
|
Mr. Farebrother contended on theory for the desirability of all games,
|
|
and said that Englishmen's wit was stagnant for want of them;
|
|
but Lydgate felt certain that he would have played very much less
|
|
but for the money. There was a billiard-room at the Green Dragon,
|
|
which some anxious mothers and wives regarded as the chief temptation
|
|
in Middlemarch. The Vicar was a first-rate billiard-player, and
|
|
though he did not frequent the Green Dragon, there were reports
|
|
that he had sometimes been there in the daytime and had won money.
|
|
And as to the chaplaincy, he did not pretend that he cared for it,
|
|
except for the sake of the forty pounds. Lydgate was no Puritan,
|
|
but he did not care for play, and winning money at it had always
|
|
seemed a meanness to him; besides, he had an ideal of life which made
|
|
this subservience of conduct to the gaining of small sums thoroughly
|
|
hateful to him. Hitherto in his own life his wants had been supplied
|
|
without any trouble to himself, and his first impulse was always to be
|
|
liberal with half-crowns as matters of no importance to a gentleman;
|
|
it had never occurred to him to devise a plan for getting half-crowns.
|
|
He had always known in a general way that he was not rich, but he
|
|
had never felt poor, and he had no power of imagining the part
|
|
which the want of money plays in determining the actions of men.
|
|
Money had never been a motive to him. Hence he was not ready
|
|
to frame excuses for this deliberate pursuit of small gains.
|
|
It was altogether repulsive to him, and he never entered into any
|
|
calculation of the ratio between the Vicar's income and his more or
|
|
less necessary expenditure. It was possible that he would not have
|
|
made such a calculation in his own case.
|
|
|
|
And now, when the question of voting had come, this repulsive fact
|
|
told more strongly against Mr. Farebrother than it had done before.
|
|
One would know much better what to do if men's characters were
|
|
more consistent, and especially if one's friends were invariably fit
|
|
for any function they desired to undertake! Lydgate was convinced
|
|
that if there had been no valid objection to Mr. Farebrother, he would
|
|
have voted for him, whatever Bulstrode might have felt on the subject:
|
|
he did not intend to be a vassal of Bulstrode's. On the other hand,
|
|
there was Tyke, a man entirely given to his clerical office, who was
|
|
simply curate at a chapel of ease in St. Peter's parish, and had
|
|
time for extra duty. Nobody had anything to say against Mr. Tyke,
|
|
except that they could not bear him, and suspected him of cant.
|
|
Really, from his point of view, Bulstrode was thoroughly justified.
|
|
|
|
But whichever way Lydgate began to incline, there was something
|
|
to make him wince; and being a proud man, he was a little
|
|
exasperated at being obliged to wince. He did not like frustrating
|
|
his own best purposes by getting on bad terms with Bulstrode;
|
|
he did not like voting against Farebrother, and helping to deprive
|
|
him of function and salary; and the question occurred whether
|
|
the additional forty pounds might not leave the Vicar free from
|
|
that ignoble care about winning at cards. Moreover, Lydgate did
|
|
not like the consciousness that in voting for Tyke he should be
|
|
voting on the side obviously convenient for himself. But would
|
|
the end really be his own convenience? Other people would say so,
|
|
and would allege that he was currying favor with Bulstrode for the
|
|
sake of making himself important and getting on in the world.
|
|
What then? He for his own part knew that if his personal prospects
|
|
simply had been concerned, he would not have cared a rotten nut
|
|
for the banker's friendship or enmity. What he really cared for
|
|
was a medium for his work, a vehicle for his ideas; and after all,
|
|
was he not bound to prefer the object of getting a good hospital,
|
|
where he could demonstrate the specific distinctions of fever
|
|
and test therapeutic results, before anything else connected
|
|
with this chaplaincy? For the first time Lydgate was feeling
|
|
the hampering threadlike pressure of small social conditions,
|
|
and their frustrating complexity. At the end of his inward debate,
|
|
when he set out for the hospital, his hope was really in the chance
|
|
that discussion might somehow give a new aspect to the question,
|
|
and make the scale dip so as to exclude the necessity for voting.
|
|
I think he trusted a little also to the energy which is begotten
|
|
by circumstances--some feeling rushing warmly and making resolve easy,
|
|
while debate in cool blood had only made it more difficult.
|
|
However it was, he did not distinctly say to himself on which side he
|
|
would vote; and all the while he was inwardly resenting the subjection
|
|
which had been forced upon him. It would have seemed beforehand
|
|
like a ridiculous piece of bad logic that he, with his unmixed
|
|
resolutions of independence and his select purposes, would find
|
|
himself at the very outset in the grasp of petty alternatives,
|
|
each of which was repugnant to him. In his student's chambers,
|
|
he had prearranged his social action quite differently.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate was late in setting out, but Dr. Sprague, the two other surgeons,
|
|
and several of the directors had arrived early; Mr. Bulstrode,
|
|
treasurer and chairman, being among those who were still absent.
|
|
The conversation seemed to imply that the issue was problematical,
|
|
and that a majority for Tyke was not so certain as had been generally
|
|
supposed. The two physicians, for a wonder, turned out to be unanimous,
|
|
or rather, though of different minds, they concurred in action.
|
|
Dr. Sprague, the rugged and weighty, was, as every one had foreseen,
|
|
an adherent of Mr. Farebrother. The Doctor was more than suspected
|
|
of having no religion, but somehow Middlemarch tolerated this
|
|
deficiency in him as if he had been a Lord Chancellor; indeed it
|
|
is probable that his professional weight was the more believed in,
|
|
the world-old association of cleverness with the evil principle being
|
|
still potent in the minds even of lady-patients who had the strictest
|
|
ideas of frilling and sentiment. It was perhaps this negation in the
|
|
Doctor which made his neighbors call him hard-headed and dry-witted;
|
|
conditions of texture which were also held favorable to the storing
|
|
of judgments connected with drugs. At all events, it is certain
|
|
that if any medical man had come to Middlemarch with the reputation
|
|
of having very definite religious views, of being given to prayer,
|
|
and of otherwise showing an active piety, there would have been
|
|
a general presumption against his medical skill.
|
|
|
|
On this ground it was (professionally speaking) fortunate for
|
|
Dr. Minchin that his religious sympathies were of a general kind,
|
|
and such as gave a distant medical sanction to all serious sentiment,
|
|
whether of Church or Dissent, rather than any adhesion to
|
|
particular tenets. If Mr. Bulstrode insisted, as he was apt to do,
|
|
on the Lutheran doctrine of justification, as that by which a Church
|
|
must stand or fall, Dr. Minchin in return was quite sure that man
|
|
was not a mere machine or a fortuitous conjunction of atoms;
|
|
if Mrs. Wimple insisted on a particular providence in relation to her
|
|
stomach complaint, Dr. Minchin for his part liked to keep the mental
|
|
windows open and objected to fixed limits; if the Unitarian brewer
|
|
jested about the Athanasian Creed, Dr. Minchin quoted Pope's "Essay
|
|
on Man." He objected to the rather free style of anecdote in which
|
|
Dr. Sprague indulged, preferring well-sanctioned quotations, and liking
|
|
refinement of all kinds: it was generally known that he had some
|
|
kinship to a bishop, and sometimes spent his holidays at "the palace."
|
|
|
|
Dr. Minchin was soft-handed, pale-complexioned, and of rounded outline,
|
|
not to be distinguished from a mild clergyman in appearance:
|
|
whereas Dr. Sprague was superfluously tall; his trousers got creased
|
|
at the knees, and showed an excess of boot at a time when straps seemed
|
|
necessary to any dignity of bearing; you heard him go in and out,
|
|
and up and down, as if he had come to see after the roofing.
|
|
In short, he had weight, and might be expected to grapple with a
|
|
disease and throw it; while Dr. Minchin might be better able to detect
|
|
it lurking and to circumvent it. They enjoyed about equally the
|
|
mysterious privilege of medical reputation, and concealed with much
|
|
etiquette their contempt for each other's skill. Regarding themselves
|
|
as Middlemarch institutions, they were ready to combine against
|
|
all innovators, and against non-professionals given to interference.
|
|
On this ground they were both in their hearts equally averse to
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode, though Dr. Minchin had never been in open hostility
|
|
with him, and never differed from him without elaborate explanation
|
|
to Mrs. Bulstrode, who had found that Dr. Minchin alone understood
|
|
her constitution. A layman who pried into the professional
|
|
conduct of medical men, and was always obtruding his reforms,--
|
|
though he was less directly embarrassing to the two physicians
|
|
than to the surgeon-apothecaries who attended paupers by contract,
|
|
was nevertheless offensive to the professional nostril as such;
|
|
and Dr. Minchin shared fully in the new pique against Bulstrode,
|
|
excited by his apparent determination to patronize Lydgate.
|
|
The long-established practitioners, Mr. Wrench and Mr. Toller;
|
|
were just now standing apart and having a friendly colloquy,
|
|
in which they agreed that Lydgate was a jackanapes, just made to
|
|
serve Bulstrode's purpose. To non-medical friends they had already
|
|
concurred in praising the other young practitioner, who had come into
|
|
the town on Mr. Peacock's retirement without further recommendation
|
|
than his own merits and such argument for solid professional
|
|
acquirement as might be gathered from his having apparently wasted
|
|
no time on other branches of knowledge. It was clear that Lydgate,
|
|
by not dispensing drugs, intended to cast imputations on his equals,
|
|
and also to obscure the limit between his own rank as a general
|
|
practitioner and that of the physicians, who, in the interest
|
|
of the profession, felt bound to maintain its various grades,--
|
|
especially against a man who had not been to either of the English
|
|
universities and enjoyed the absence of anatomical and bedside
|
|
study there, but came with a libellous pretension to experience
|
|
in Edinburgh and Paris, where observation might be abundant indeed,
|
|
but hardly sound.
|
|
|
|
Thus it happened that on this occasion Bulstrode became identified
|
|
with Lydgate, and Lydgate with Tyke; and owing to this variety
|
|
of interchangeable names for the chaplaincy question, diverse minds
|
|
were enabled to form the same judgment concerning it.
|
|
|
|
Dr. Sprague said at once bluntly. to the group assembled when
|
|
he entered, "I go for Farebrother. A salary, with all my heart.
|
|
But why take it from the Vicar? He has none too much--has to insure
|
|
his life, besides keeping house, and doing a vicar's charities.
|
|
Put forty pounds in his pocket and you'll do no harm. He's a
|
|
good fellow, is Farebrother, with as little of the parson about him
|
|
as will serve to carry orders."
|
|
|
|
"Ho, ho! Doctor," said old Mr. Powderell, a retired iron-monger
|
|
of some standing--his interjection being something between a laugh
|
|
and a Parliamentary disapproval; "we must let you have your say.
|
|
But what we have to consider is not anybody's income--it's the souls
|
|
of the poor sick people"--here Mr. Powderell's voice and face had a
|
|
sincere pathos in them. "He is a real Gospel preacher, is Mr. Tyke.
|
|
I should vote against my conscience if I voted against Mr. Tyke--
|
|
I should indeed."
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Tyke's opponents have not asked any one to vote against
|
|
his conscience, I believe," said Mr. Hackbutt, a rich tanner
|
|
of fluent speech, whose glittering spectacles and erect hair
|
|
were turned with some severity towards innocent Mr. Powderell.
|
|
"But in my judgment it behoves us, as Directors, to consider whether
|
|
we will regard it as our whole business to carry out propositions
|
|
emanating from a single quarter. Will any member of the committee
|
|
aver that he would have entertained the idea of displacing the
|
|
gentleman who has always discharged the function of chaplain here,
|
|
if it had not been suggested to him by parties whose disposition
|
|
it is to regard every institution of this town as a machinery
|
|
for carrying out their own views? I tax no man's motives:
|
|
let them lie between himself and a higher Power; but I do say,
|
|
that there are influences at work here which are incompatible
|
|
with genuine independence, and that a crawling servility is
|
|
usually dictated by circumstances which gentlemen so conducting
|
|
themselves could not afford either morally or financially to avow.
|
|
I myself am a layman, but I have given no inconsiderable attention
|
|
to the divisions in the Church and--"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, damn the divisions!" burst in Mr. Frank Hawley, lawyer and
|
|
town-clerk, who rarely presented himself at the board, but now looked
|
|
in hurriedly, whip in hand. "We have nothing to do with them here.
|
|
Farebrother has been doing the work--what there was--without pay,
|
|
and if pay is to be given, it should be given to him. I call it
|
|
a confounded job to take the thing away from Farebrother."
|
|
|
|
"I think it would be as well for gentlemen not to give their
|
|
remarks a personal bearing," said Mr. Plymdale. "I shall vote
|
|
for the appointment of Mr. Tyke, but I should not have known,
|
|
if Mr. Hackbutt hadn't hinted it, that I was a Servile Crawler."
|
|
|
|
"I disclaim any personalities. I expressly said, if I may be
|
|
allowed to repeat, or even to conclude what I was about to say--"
|
|
|
|
"Ah, here's Minchin!" said Mr. Frank Hawley; at which everybody
|
|
turned away from Mr. Hackbutt, leaving him to feel the uselessness
|
|
of superior gifts in Middlemarch. "Come, Doctor, I must have you
|
|
on the right side, eh?"
|
|
|
|
"I hope so," said Dr. Minchin, nodding and shaking hands here and there;
|
|
"at whatever cost to my feelings."
|
|
|
|
"If there's any feeling here, it should be feeling for the man
|
|
who is turned out, I think," said Mr. Frank Hawley.
|
|
|
|
"I confess I have feelings on the other side also. I have a
|
|
divided esteem," said Dr. Minchin, rubbing his hands. "I consider
|
|
Mr. Tyke an exemplary man--none more so--and I believe him to be
|
|
proposed from unimpeachable motives. I, for my part, wish that I
|
|
could give him my vote. But I am constrained to take a view of the
|
|
case which gives the preponderance to Mr. Farebrother's claims.
|
|
He is an amiable man, an able preacher, and has been longer among us."
|
|
|
|
Old Mr. Powderell looked on, sad and silent. Mr. Plymdale settled
|
|
his cravat, uneasily.
|
|
|
|
"You don't set up Farebrother as a pattern of what a clergyman
|
|
ought to be, I hope," said Mr. Larcher, the eminent carrier,
|
|
who had just come in. "I have no ill-will towards him, but I think
|
|
we owe something to the public, not to speak of anything higher,
|
|
in these appointments. In my opinion Farebrother is too lax for
|
|
a clergyman. I don't wish to bring up particulars against him;
|
|
but he will make a little attendance here go as far as he can."
|
|
|
|
"And a devilish deal better than too much," said Mr. Hawley,
|
|
whose bad language was notorious in that part of the county.
|
|
"Sick people can't bear so much praying and preaching.
|
|
And that methodistical sort of religion is bad for the spirits--
|
|
bad for the inside, eh?" he added, turning quickly round to the four
|
|
medical men who were assembled.
|
|
|
|
But any answer was dispensed with by the entrance of three gentlemen,
|
|
with whom there were greetings more or less cordial. These were
|
|
the Reverend Edward Thesiger, Rector of St. Peter's, Mr. Bulstrode,
|
|
and our friend Mr. Brooke of Tipton, who had lately allowed himself
|
|
to be put on the board of directors in his turn, but had never before
|
|
attended, his attendance now being due to Mr. Bulstrode's exertions.
|
|
Lydgate was the only person still expected.
|
|
|
|
Every one now sat down, Mr. Bulstrode presiding, pale and
|
|
self-restrained as usual. Mr. Thesiger, a moderate evangelical,
|
|
wished for the appointment of his friend Mr. Tyke, a zealous
|
|
able man, who, officiating at a chapel of ease, had not a cure
|
|
of souls too extensive to leave him ample time for the new duty.
|
|
It was desirable that chaplaincies of this kind should be entered
|
|
on with a fervent intention: they were peculiar opportunities
|
|
for spiritual influence; and while it was good that a salary should
|
|
be allotted, there was the more need for scrupulous watching lest
|
|
the office should be perverted into a mere question of salary.
|
|
Mr. Thesiger's manner had so much quiet propriety that objectors
|
|
could only simmer in silence.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke believed that everybody meant well in the matter.
|
|
He had not himself attended to the affairs of the Infirmary, though he
|
|
had a strong interest in whatever was for the benefit of Middlemarch,
|
|
and was most happy to meet the gentlemen present on any public question--
|
|
"any public question, you know," Mr. Brooke repeated, with his nod
|
|
of perfect understanding. "I am a good deal occupied as a magistrate,
|
|
and in the collection of documentary evidence, but I regard my time
|
|
as being at the disposal of the public--and, in short, my friends
|
|
have convinced me that a chaplain with a salary--a salary, you know--
|
|
is a very good thing, and I am happy to be able to come here and
|
|
vote for the appointment of Mr. Tyke, who, I understand, is an
|
|
unexceptionable man, apostolic and eloquent and everything of that kind--
|
|
and I am the last man to withhold my vote--under the circumstances,
|
|
you know."
|
|
|
|
"It seems to me that you have been crammed with one side of
|
|
the question, Mr. Brooke," said Mr. Frank Hawley, who was afraid
|
|
of nobody, and was a Tory suspicious of electioneering intentions.
|
|
"You don't seem to know that one of the worthiest men we have
|
|
has been doing duty as chaplain here for years without pay,
|
|
and that Mr. Tyke is proposed to supersede him."
|
|
|
|
"Excuse me, Mr. Hawley," said Mr. Bulstrode. "Mr. Brooke has been
|
|
fully informed of Mr. Farebrother's character and position."
|
|
|
|
"By his enemies," flashed out Mr. Hawley.
|
|
|
|
"I trust there is no personal hostility concerned here,"
|
|
said Mr. Thesiger.
|
|
|
|
"I'll swear there is, though," retorted Mr. Hawley.
|
|
|
|
"Gentlemen," said Mr. Bulstrode, in a subdued tone, "the merits
|
|
of the question may be very briefly stated, and if any one present
|
|
doubts that every gentleman who is about to give his vote has
|
|
not been fully informed, I can now recapitulate the considerations
|
|
that should weigh on either side."
|
|
|
|
"I don't see the good of that," said Mr. Hawley. "I suppose we all
|
|
know whom we mean to vote for. Any man who wants to do justice does
|
|
not wait till the last minute to hear both sides of the question.
|
|
I have no time to lose, and I propose that the matter be put to the
|
|
vote at once."
|
|
|
|
A brief but still hot discussion followed before each person wrote
|
|
"Tyke" or "Farebrother" on a piece of paper and slipped it into
|
|
a glass tumbler; and in the mean time Mr. Bulstrode saw Lydgate enter.
|
|
|
|
"I perceive that the votes are equally divided at present,"
|
|
said Mr. Bulstrode, in a clear biting voice. Then, looking up
|
|
at Lydgate--
|
|
|
|
"There is a casting-vote still to be given. It is yours, Mr. Lydgate:
|
|
will you be good enough to write?"
|
|
|
|
"The thing is settled now," said Mr. Wrench, rising. "We all know
|
|
how Mr. Lydgate will vote."
|
|
|
|
"You seem to speak with some peculiar meaning, sir," said Lydgate,
|
|
rather defiantly, and keeping his pencil suspended.
|
|
|
|
"I merely mean that you are expected to vote with Mr. Bulstrode.
|
|
Do you regard that meaning as offensive?"
|
|
|
|
"It may be offensive to others. But I shall not desist from voting
|
|
with him on that account." Lydgate immediately wrote down "Tyke."
|
|
|
|
So the Rev. Walter Tyke became chaplain to the Infirmary,
|
|
and Lydgate continued to work with Mr. Bulstrode. He was really
|
|
uncertain whether Tyke were not the more suitable candidate,
|
|
and yet his consciousness told him that if he had been quite free
|
|
from indirect bias he should have voted for Mr. Farebrother.
|
|
The affair of the chaplaincy remained a sore point in his memory
|
|
as a case in which this petty medium of Middlemarch had been
|
|
too strong for him. How could a man be satisfied with a decision
|
|
between such alternatives and under such circumstances? No more
|
|
than he can be satisfied with his hat, which he has chosen from
|
|
among such shapes as the resources of the age offer him, wearing it
|
|
at best with a resignation which is chiefly supported by comparison.
|
|
|
|
But Mr. Farebrother met him with the same friendliness as before.
|
|
The character of the publican and sinner is not always practically
|
|
incompatible with that of the modern Pharisee, for the majority of us
|
|
scarcely see more distinctly the faultiness of our own conduct than
|
|
the faultiness of our own arguments, or the dulness of our own jokes.
|
|
But the Vicar of St. Botolph's had certainly escaped the slightest
|
|
tincture of the Pharisee, and by dint of admitting to himself that he
|
|
was too much as other men were, he had become remarkably unlike them
|
|
in this--that he could excuse other; for thinking slightly of him,
|
|
and could judge impartially of their conduct even when it told
|
|
against him.
|
|
|
|
"The world has been to strong for ME, I know," he said one
|
|
day to Lydgate. "But then I am not a mighty man--I shall never
|
|
be a man of renown. The choice of Hercules is a pretty fable;
|
|
but Prodicus makes it easy work for the hero, as if the first resolves
|
|
were enough. Another story says that he came to hold the distaff,
|
|
and at last wore the Nessus shirt. I suppose one good resolve
|
|
might keep a man right if everybody else's resolve helped him."
|
|
|
|
The Vicar's talk was not always inspiriting: he had escaped
|
|
being a Pharisee, but he had not escaped that low estimate of
|
|
possibilities which we rather hastily arrive at as an inference
|
|
from our own failure. Lydgate thought that there was a pitiable
|
|
infirmity of will in Mr. Farebrother.
|
|
|
|
|
|
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|
CHAPTER XIX.
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|
|
|
|
"L' altra vedete ch'ha fatto alla guancia
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Della sua palma, sospirando, letto."
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|
--Purgatorio, vii.
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|
|
|
|
When George the Fourth was still reigning over the privacies of Windsor,
|
|
when the Duke of Wellington was Prime Minister, and Mr. Vincy
|
|
was mayor of the old corporation in Middlemarch, Mrs. Casaubon,
|
|
born Dorothea Brooke, had taken her wedding journey to Rome.
|
|
In those days the world in general was more ignorant of good and evil
|
|
by forty years than it is at present. Travellers did not often carry
|
|
full information on Christian art either in their heads or their pockets;
|
|
and even the most brilliant English critic of the day mistook the
|
|
flower-flushed tomb of the ascended Virgin for an ornamental vase
|
|
due to the painter's fancy. Romanticism, which has helped to fill
|
|
some dull blanks with love and knowledge, had not yet penetrated
|
|
the times with its leaven and entered into everybody's food; it was
|
|
fermenting still as a distinguishable vigorous enthusiasm in certain
|
|
long-haired German artists at Rome, and the youth of other nations who
|
|
worked or idled near them were sometimes caught in the spreading movement.
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|
|
|
One fine morning a young man whose hair was not immoderately long,
|
|
but abundant and curly, and who was otherwise English in his equipment,
|
|
had just turned his back on the Belvedere Torso in the Vatican
|
|
and was looking out on the magnificent view of the mountains from
|
|
the adjoining round vestibule. He was sufficiently absorbed not
|
|
to notice the approach of a dark-eyed, animated German who came up
|
|
to him and placing a hand on his shoulder, said with a strong accent,
|
|
"Come here, quick! else she will have changed her pose."
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|
|
|
Quickness was ready at the call, and the two figures passed lightly
|
|
along by the Meleager, towards the hall where the reclining Ariadne,
|
|
then called the Cleopatra, lies in the marble voluptuousness
|
|
of her beauty, the drapery folding around her with a petal-like
|
|
ease and tenderness. They were just in time to see another
|
|
figure standing against a pedestal near the reclining marble:
|
|
a breathing blooming girl, whose form, not shamed by the Ariadne,
|
|
was clad in Quakerish gray drapery; her long cloak, fastened at
|
|
the neck, was thrown backward from her arms, and one beautiful
|
|
ungloved hand pillowed her cheek, pushing somewhat backward
|
|
the white beaver bonnet which made a sort of halo to her face
|
|
around the simply braided dark-brown hair. She was not looking
|
|
at the sculpture, probably not thinking of it: her large eyes were
|
|
fixed dreamily on a streak of sunlight which fell across the floor.
|
|
But she became conscious of the two strangers who suddenly paused
|
|
as if to contemplate the Cleopatra, and, without looking at them,
|
|
immediately turned away to join a maid-servant and courier
|
|
who were loitering along the hall at a little distance off.
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|
|
|
"What do you think of that for a fine bit of antithesis?" said the
|
|
German, searching in his friend's face for responding admiration,
|
|
but going on volubly without waiting for any other answer.
|
|
"There lies antique beauty, not corpse-like even in death,
|
|
but arrested in the complete contentment of its sensuous perfection:
|
|
and here stands beauty in its breathing life, with the consciousness
|
|
of Christian centuries in its bosom. But she should be dressed
|
|
as a nun; I think she looks almost what you call a Quaker;
|
|
I would dress her as a nun in my picture. However, she is married;
|
|
I saw her wedding-ring on that wonderful left hand, otherwise I
|
|
should have thought the sallow Geistlicher was her father.
|
|
I saw him parting from her a good while ago, and just now I found her
|
|
in that magnificent pose. Only think! he is perhaps rich, and would
|
|
like to have her portrait taken. Ah! it is no use looking after her--
|
|
there she goes! Let us follow her home!"
|
|
|
|
"No, no," said his companion, with a little frown.
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|
|
|
"You are singular, Ladislaw. You look struck together. Do you
|
|
know her?"
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|
|
"I know that she is married to my cousin," said Will Ladislaw,
|
|
sauntering down the hall with a preoccupied air, while his German
|
|
friend kept at his side and watched him eagerly.
|
|
|
|
"What! the Geistlicher? He looks more like an uncle--a more
|
|
useful sort of relation."
|
|
|
|
"He is not my uncle. I tell you he is my second cousin,"
|
|
said Ladislaw, with some irritation.
|
|
|
|
"Schon, schon. Don't be snappish. You are not angry with me
|
|
for thinking Mrs. Second-Cousin the most perfect young Madonna
|
|
I ever saw?"
|
|
|
|
"Angry? nonsense. I have only seen her once before, for a couple
|
|
of minutes, when my cousin introduced her to me, just before I
|
|
left England. They were not married then. I didn't know they
|
|
were coming to Rome."
|
|
|
|
"But you will go to see them now--you will find out what they have
|
|
for an address--since you know the name. Shall we go to the post?
|
|
And you could speak about the portrait."
|
|
|
|
"Confound you, Naumann! I don't know what I shall do. I am not
|
|
so brazen as you."
|
|
|
|
"Bah! that is because you are dilettantish and amateurish. If you
|
|
were an artist, you would think of Mistress Second-Cousin as antique
|
|
form animated by Christian sentiment--a sort of Christian Antigone--
|
|
sensuous force controlled by spiritual passion."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, and that your painting her was the chief outcome of
|
|
her existence--the divinity passing into higher completeness
|
|
and all but exhausted in the act of covering your bit of canvas.
|
|
I am amateurish if you like: I do NOT think that all the universe
|
|
is straining towards the obscure significance of your pictures."
|
|
|
|
"But it is, my dear!--so far as it is straining through me,
|
|
Adolf Naumann: that stands firm," said the good-natured painter,
|
|
putting a hand on Ladislaw's shoulder, and not in the least disturbed
|
|
by the unaccountable touch of ill-humor in his tone. "See now!
|
|
My existence presupposes the existence of the whole universe--
|
|
does it NOT? and my function is to paint--and as a painter
|
|
I have a conception which is altogether genialisch, of your
|
|
great-aunt or second grandmother as a subject for a picture;
|
|
therefore, the universe is straining towards that picture through
|
|
that particular hook or claw which it puts forth in the shape of me--
|
|
not true?"
|
|
|
|
"But how if another claw in the shape of me is straining to thwart it?--
|
|
the case is a little less simple then."
|
|
|
|
"Not at all: the result of the struggle is the same thing--
|
|
picture or no picture--logically."
|
|
|
|
Will could not resist this imperturbable temper, and the cloud
|
|
in his face broke into sunshiny laughter.
|
|
|
|
"Come now, my friend--you will help?" said Naumann, in a hopeful tone.
|
|
|
|
"No; nonsense, Naumann! English ladies are not at everybody's service
|
|
as models. And you want to express too much with your painting.
|
|
You would only have made a better or worse portrait with a background
|
|
which every connoisseur would give a different reason for or against.
|
|
And what is a portrait of a woman? Your painting and Plastik are
|
|
poor stuff after all. They perturb and dull conceptions instead
|
|
of raising them. Language is a finer medium."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, for those who can't paint," said Naumann. "There you have
|
|
perfect right. I did not recommend you to paint, my friend."
|
|
|
|
The amiable artist carried his sting, but Ladislaw did not choose
|
|
to appear stung. He went on as if he had not heard.
|
|
|
|
"Language gives a fuller image, which is all the better for beings vague.
|
|
After all, the true seeing is within; and painting stares at you
|
|
with an insistent imperfection. I feel that especially about
|
|
representations of women. As if a woman were a mere colored superficies!
|
|
You must wait for movement and tone. There is a difference in their
|
|
very breathing: they change from moment to moment.--This woman whom
|
|
you have just seen, for example: how would you paint her voice,
|
|
pray? But her voice is much diviner than anything you have seen of her."
|
|
|
|
"I see, I see. You are jealous. No man must presume to think
|
|
that he can paint your ideal. This is serious, my friend!
|
|
Your great-aunt! `Der Neffe als Onkel' in a tragic sense--ungeheuer!"
|
|
|
|
"You and I shall quarrel, Naumann, if you call that lady my aunt again."
|
|
|
|
"How is she to be called then?"
|
|
|
|
"Mrs. Casaubon."
|
|
|
|
"Good. Suppose I get acquainted with her in spite of you, and find
|
|
that she very much wishes to be painted?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, suppose!" said Will Ladislaw, in a contemptuous undertone,
|
|
intended to dismiss the subject. He was conscious of being irritated
|
|
by ridiculously small causes, which were half of his own creation.
|
|
Why was he making any fuss about Mrs. Casaubon? And yet he felt
|
|
as if something had happened to him with regard to her. There are
|
|
characters which are continually creating collisions and nodes
|
|
for themselves in dramas which nobody is prepared to act with them.
|
|
Their susceptibilities will clash against objects that remain
|
|
innocently quiet.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XX.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"A child forsaken, waking suddenly,
|
|
Whose gaze afeard on all things round doth rove,
|
|
And seeth only that it cannot see
|
|
The meeting eyes of love."
|
|
|
|
|
|
Two hours later, Dorothea was seated in an inner room or boudoir
|
|
of a handsome apartment in the Via Sistina.
|
|
|
|
I am sorry to add that she was sobbing bitterly, with such abandonment
|
|
to this relief of an oppressed heart as a woman habitually
|
|
controlled by pride on her own account and thoughtfulness for others
|
|
will sometimes allow herself when she feels securely alone.
|
|
And Mr. Casaubon was certain to remain away for some time at the Vatican.
|
|
|
|
Yet Dorothea had no distinctly shapen grievance that she could
|
|
state even to herself; and in the midst of her confused thought
|
|
and passion, the mental act that was struggling forth into clearness
|
|
was a self-accusing cry that her feeling of desolation was the fault
|
|
of her own spiritual poverty. She had married the man of her choice,
|
|
and with the advantage over most girls that she had contemplated
|
|
her marriage chiefly as the beginning of new duties: from the very
|
|
first she had thought of Mr. Casaubon as having a mind so much above
|
|
her own, that he must often be claimed by studies which she could
|
|
not entirely share; moreover, after the brief narrow experience
|
|
of her girlhood she was beholding Rome, the city of visible history,
|
|
where the past of a whole hemisphere seems moving in funeral procession
|
|
with strange ancestral images and trophies gathered from afar.
|
|
|
|
But this stupendous fragmentariness heightened the dreamlike strangeness
|
|
of her bridal life. Dorothea had now been five weeks in Rome,
|
|
and in the kindly mornings when autumn and winter seemed to go hand
|
|
in hand like a happy aged couple one of whom would presently survive
|
|
in chiller loneliness, she had driven about at first with Mr. Casaubon,
|
|
but of late chiefly with Tantripp and their experienced courier.
|
|
She had been led through the best galleries, had been taken to the
|
|
chief points of view, had been shown the grandest ruins and the most
|
|
glorious churches, and she had ended by oftenest choosing to drive
|
|
out to the Campagna where she could feel alone with the earth
|
|
and sky, away-from the oppressive masquerade of ages, in which
|
|
her own life too seemed to become a masque with enigmatical costumes.
|
|
|
|
To those who have looked at Rome with the quickening power of a
|
|
knowledge which breathes a growing soul into all historic shapes,
|
|
and traces out the suppressed transitions which unite all contrasts,
|
|
Rome may still be the spiritual centre and interpreter of the world.
|
|
But let them conceive one more historical contrast: the gigantic
|
|
broken revelations of that Imperial and Papal city thrust abruptly
|
|
on the notions of a girl who had been brought up in English
|
|
and Swiss Puritanism, fed on meagre Protestant histories and on
|
|
art chiefly of the hand-screen sort; a girl whose ardent nature
|
|
turned all her small allowance of knowledge into principles,
|
|
fusing her actions into their mould, and whose quick emotions gave
|
|
the most abstract things the quality of a pleasure or a pain;
|
|
a girl who had lately become a wife, and from the enthusiastic
|
|
acceptance of untried duty found herself plunged in tumultuous
|
|
preoccupation with her personal lot. The weight of unintelligible
|
|
Rome might lie easily on bright nymphs to whom it formed a background
|
|
for the brilliant picnic of Anglo-foreign society; but Dorothea
|
|
had no such defence against deep impressions. Ruins and basilicas,
|
|
palaces and colossi, set in the midst of a sordid present, where all
|
|
that was living and warm-blooded seemed sunk in the deep degeneracy
|
|
of a superstition divorced from reverence; the dimmer but yet eager
|
|
Titanic life gazing and struggling on walls and ceilings; the long
|
|
vistas of white forms whose marble eyes seemed to hold the monotonous
|
|
light of an alien world: all this vast wreck of ambitious ideals,
|
|
sensuous and spiritual, mixed confusedly with the signs of breathing
|
|
forgetfulness and degradation, at first jarred her as with an
|
|
electric shock, and then urged themselves on her with that ache
|
|
belonging to a glut of confused ideas which check the flow of emotion.
|
|
Forms both pale and glowing took possession of her young sense,
|
|
and fixed themselves in her memory even when she was not thinking
|
|
of them, preparing strange associations which remained through
|
|
her after-years. Our moods are apt to bring with them images
|
|
which succeed each other like the magic-lantern pictures of a doze;
|
|
and in certain states of dull forlornness Dorothea all her life
|
|
continued to see the vastness of St. Peter's, the huge bronze canopy,
|
|
the excited intention in the attitudes and garments of the prophets
|
|
and evangelists in the mosaics above, and the red drapery which was
|
|
being hung for Christmas spreading itself everywhere like a disease
|
|
of the retina.
|
|
|
|
Not that this inward amazement of Dorothea's was anything
|
|
very exceptional: many souls in their young nudity are tumbled
|
|
out among incongruities and left to "find their feet" among them,
|
|
while their elders go about their business. Nor can I suppose
|
|
that when Mrs. Casaubon is discovered in a fit of weeping six weeks
|
|
after her wedding, the situation will be regarded as tragic.
|
|
Some discouragement, some faintness of heart at the new real
|
|
future which replaces the imaginary, is not unusual, and we do
|
|
not expect people to be deeply moved by what is not unusual.
|
|
That element of tragedy which lies in the very fact of frequency,
|
|
has not yet wrought itself into the coarse emotion of mankind;
|
|
and perhaps our frames could hardly bear much of it. If we had
|
|
a keen vision and feeling of all ordinary human life, it would be
|
|
like hearing the grass grow and the squirrel's heart beat, and we
|
|
should die of that roar which lies on the other side of silence.
|
|
As it is, the quickest of us walk about well wadded with stupidity.
|
|
|
|
However, Dorothea was crying, and if she had been required to state
|
|
the cause, she could only have done so in some such general words as I
|
|
have already used: to have been driven to be more particular would
|
|
have been like trying to give a history of the lights and shadows,
|
|
for that new real future which was replacing the imaginary drew
|
|
its material from the endless minutiae by which her view of
|
|
Mr. Casaubon and her wifely relation, now that she was married to him,
|
|
was gradually changing with the secret motion of a watch-hand
|
|
from what it had been in her maiden dream. It was too early yet
|
|
for her fully to recognize or at least admit the change, still more
|
|
for her to have readjusted that devotedness which was so necessary
|
|
a part of her mental life that she was almost sure sooner or later
|
|
to recover it. Permanent rebellion, the disorder of a life
|
|
without some loving reverent resolve, was not possible to her;
|
|
but she was now in an interval when the very force of her nature
|
|
heightened its confusion. In this way, the early months of marriage
|
|
often are times of critical tumult--whether that of a shrimp-pool
|
|
or of deeper waters--which afterwards subsides into cheerful peace.
|
|
|
|
But was not Mr. Casaubon just as learned as before? Had his forms
|
|
of expression changed, or his sentiments become less laudable?
|
|
Oh waywardness of womanhood! did his chronology fail him, or his
|
|
ability to state not only a theory but the names of those who held it;
|
|
or his provision for giving the heads of any subject on demand?
|
|
And was not Rome the place in all the world to give free play
|
|
to such accomplishments? Besides, had not Dorothea's enthusiasm
|
|
especially dwelt on the prospect of relieving the weight and perhaps
|
|
the sadness with which great tasks lie on him who has to achieve them?--
|
|
And that such weight pressed on Mr. Casaubon was only plainer
|
|
than before.
|
|
|
|
All these are crushing questions; but whatever else remained the same,
|
|
the light had changed, and you cannot find the pearly dawn at noonday.
|
|
The fact is unalterable, that a fellow-mortal with whose nature you
|
|
are acquainted solely through the brief entrances and exits of a few
|
|
imaginative weeks called courtship, may, when seen in the continuity
|
|
of married companionship, be disclosed as something better or worse
|
|
than what you have preconceived, but will certainly not appear
|
|
altogether the same. And it would be astonishing to find how soon
|
|
the change is felt if we had no kindred changes to compare with it.
|
|
To share lodgings with a brilliant dinner-companion, or to see
|
|
your favorite politician in the Ministry, may bring about changes
|
|
quite as rapid: in these cases too we begin by knowing little and
|
|
believing much, and we sometimes end by inverting the quantities.
|
|
|
|
Still, such comparisons might mislead, for no man was more incapable
|
|
of flashy make-believe than Mr. Casaubon: he was as genuine a
|
|
character as any ruminant animal, and he had not actively assisted
|
|
in creating any illusions about himself. How was it that in the weeks
|
|
since her marriage, Dorothea had not distinctly observed but felt
|
|
with a stifling depression, that the large vistas and wide fresh air
|
|
which she had dreamed of finding in her husband's mind were replaced
|
|
by anterooms and winding passages which seemed to lead nowhither?
|
|
I suppose it was that in courtship everything is regarded as provisional
|
|
and preliminary, and the smallest sample of virtue or accomplishment
|
|
is taken to guarantee delightful stores which the broad leisure
|
|
of marriage will reveal. But the door-sill of marriage once crossed,
|
|
expectation is concentrated on the present. Having once embarked
|
|
on your marital voyage, it is impossible not to be aware that you
|
|
make no way and that the sea is not within sight--that, in fact,
|
|
you are exploring an enclosed basin.
|
|
|
|
In their conversation before marriage, Mr. Casaubon had often dwelt on
|
|
some explanation or questionable detail of which Dorothea did not see
|
|
the bearing; but such imperfect coherence seemed due to the brokenness
|
|
of their intercourse, and, supported by her faith in their future,
|
|
she had listened with fervid patience to a recitation of possible
|
|
arguments to be brought against Mr. Casaubon's entirely new view
|
|
of the Philistine god Dagon and other fish-deities, thinking that
|
|
hereafter she should see this subject which touched him so nearly
|
|
from the same high ground whence doubtless it had become so important
|
|
to him. Again, the matter-of-course statement and tone of dismissal
|
|
with which he treated what to her were the most stirring thoughts,
|
|
was easily accounted for as belonging to the sense of haste and
|
|
preoccupation in which she herself shared during their engagement.
|
|
But now, since they had been in Rome, with all the depths of her
|
|
emotion roused to tumultuous activity, and with life made a new
|
|
problem by new elements, she had been becoming more and more aware,
|
|
with a certain terror, that her mind was continually sliding into
|
|
inward fits of anger and repulsion, or else into forlorn weariness.
|
|
How far the judicious Hooker or any other hero of erudition would
|
|
have been the same at Mr. Casaubon's time of life, she had no means
|
|
of knowing, so that he could not have the advantage of comparison;
|
|
but her husband's way of commenting on the strangely impressive objects
|
|
around them had begun to affect her with a sort of mental shiver:
|
|
he had perhaps the best intention of acquitting himself worthily,
|
|
but only of acquitting himself. What was fresh to her mind was worn
|
|
out to his; and such capacity of thought and feeling as had ever
|
|
been stimulated in him by the general life of mankind had long
|
|
shrunk to a sort of dried preparation, a lifeless embalmment
|
|
of knowledge.
|
|
|
|
When he said, "Does this interest you, Dorothea? Shall we stay
|
|
a little longer? I am ready to stay if you wish it,"--it seemed
|
|
to her as if going or staying were alike dreary. Or, "Should you
|
|
like to go to the Farnesina, Dorothea? It contains celebrated
|
|
frescos designed or painted by Raphael, which most persons think
|
|
it worth while to visit."
|
|
|
|
"But do you care about them?" was always Dorothea's question.
|
|
|
|
"They are, I believe, highly esteemed. Some of them represent
|
|
the fable of Cupid and Psyche, which is probably the romantic
|
|
invention of a literary period, and cannot, I think, be reckoned
|
|
as a genuine mythical product. But if you like these wall-paintings
|
|
we can easily drive thither; and you ill then, I think, have seen
|
|
the chief works of Raphael, any of which it were a pity to omit
|
|
in a visit to Rome. He is the painter who has been held to combine
|
|
the most complete grace of form with sublimity of expression.
|
|
Such at least I have gathered to be the opinion of conoscenti."
|
|
|
|
This kind of answer given in a measured official tone, as of a
|
|
clergyman reading according to the rubric, did not help to justify
|
|
the glories of the Eternal City, or to give her the hope that if she
|
|
knew more about them the world would be joyously illuminated for her.
|
|
There is hardly any contact more depressing to a young ardent
|
|
creature than that of a mind in which years full of knowledge
|
|
seem to have issued in a blank absence of interest or sympathy.
|
|
|
|
On other subjects indeed Mr. Casaubon showed a tenacity of occupation
|
|
and an eagerness which are usually regarded as the effect of enthusiasm,
|
|
and Dorothea was anxious to follow this spontaneous direction of
|
|
his thoughts, instead of being made to feel that she dragged him away
|
|
from it. But she was gradually ceasing to expect with her former
|
|
delightful confidence that she should see any wide opening where she
|
|
followed him. Poor Mr. Casaubon himself was lost among small closets
|
|
and winding stairs, and in an agitated dimness about the Cabeiri,
|
|
or in an exposure of other mythologists' ill-considered parallels,
|
|
easily lost sight of any purpose which had prompted him to these labors.
|
|
With his taper stuck before him he forgot the absence of windows,
|
|
and in bitter manuscript remarks on other men's notions about
|
|
the solar deities, he had become indifferent to the sunlight.
|
|
|
|
These characteristics, fixed and unchangeable as bone in Mr. Casaubon,
|
|
might have remained longer unfelt by Dorothea if she had been encouraged
|
|
to pour forth her girlish and womanly feeling--if he would have held
|
|
her hands between his and listened with the delight of tenderness and
|
|
understanding to all the little histories which made up her experience,
|
|
and would have given her the same sort of intimacy in return,
|
|
so that the past life of each could be included in their mutual
|
|
knowledge and affection--or if she could have fed her affection with
|
|
those childlike caresses which are the bent of every sweet woman,
|
|
who has begun by showering kisses on the hard pate of her bald doll,
|
|
creating a happy soul within that woodenness from the wealth of her
|
|
own love. That was Dorothea's bent. With all her yearning to know
|
|
what was afar from her and to be widely benignant, she had ardor
|
|
enough for what was near, to have kissed Mr. Casaubon's coat-sleeve,
|
|
or to have caressed his shoe-latchet, if he would have made any other
|
|
sign of acceptance than pronouncing her, with his unfailing propriety,
|
|
to be of a most affectionate and truly feminine nature, indicating at
|
|
the same time by politely reaching a chair for her that he regarded
|
|
these manifestations as rather crude and startling. Having made his
|
|
clerical toilet with due care in the morning, he was prepared only for
|
|
those amenities of life which were suited to the well-adjusted stiff
|
|
cravat of the period, and to a mind weighted with unpublished matter.
|
|
|
|
And by a sad contradiction Dorothea's ideas and resolves seemed
|
|
like melting ice floating and lost in the warm flood of which they
|
|
had been but another form. She was humiliated to find herself a mere
|
|
victim of feeling, as if she could know nothing except through
|
|
that medium: all her strength was scattered in fits of agitation,
|
|
of struggle, of despondency, and then again in visions of more
|
|
complete renunciation, transforming all hard conditions into duty.
|
|
Poor Dorothea! she was certainly troublesome--to herself chiefly;
|
|
but this morning for the first time she had been troublesome to
|
|
Mr. Casaubon.
|
|
|
|
She had begun, while they were taking coffee, with a determination
|
|
to shake off what she inwardly called her selfishness, and turned
|
|
a face all cheerful attention to her husband when he said,
|
|
"My dear Dorothea, we must now think of all that is yet left undone,
|
|
as a preliminary to our departure. I would fain have returned home
|
|
earlier that we might have been at Lowick for the Christmas; but my
|
|
inquiries here have been protracted beyond their anticipated period.
|
|
I trust, however, that the time here has not been passed unpleasantly
|
|
to you. Among the sights of Europe, that of Rome has ever been
|
|
held one of the most striking and in some respects edifying.
|
|
I well remember that I considered it an epoch in my life when I
|
|
visited it for the first time; after the fall of Napoleon, an event
|
|
which opened the Continent to travellers. Indeed I think it is one
|
|
among several cities to which an extreme hyperbole has been applied--
|
|
`See Rome and die:' but in your case I would propose an emendation
|
|
and say, See Rome as a bride, and live henceforth as a happy wife."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon pronounced this little speech with the most conscientious
|
|
intention, blinking a little and swaying his head up and down,
|
|
and concluding with a smile. He had not found marriage a rapturous state,
|
|
but he had no idea of being anything else than an irreproachable husband,
|
|
who would make a charming young woman as happy as she deserved to be.
|
|
|
|
"I hope you are thoroughly satisfied with our stay--I mean,
|
|
with the result so far as your studies are concerned," said Dorothea,
|
|
trying to keep her mind fixed on what most affected her husband.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Mr. Casaubon, with that peculiar pitch of voice which makes
|
|
the word half a negative. "I have been led farther than I had foreseen,
|
|
and various subjects for annotation have presented themselves which,
|
|
though I have no direct need of them, I could not pretermit.
|
|
The task, notwithstanding the assistance of my amanuensis, has been
|
|
a somewhat laborious one, but your society has happily prevented me
|
|
from that too continuous prosecution of thought beyond the hours
|
|
of study which has been the snare of my solitary life."
|
|
|
|
"I am very glad that my presence has made any difference to you,"
|
|
said Dorothea, who had a vivid memory of evenings in which she
|
|
had supposed that Mr. Casaubon's mind had gone too deep during
|
|
the day to be able to get to the surface again. I fear there
|
|
was a little temper in her reply. "I hope when we get to Lowick,
|
|
I shall be more useful to you, and be able to enter a little more
|
|
into what interests you."
|
|
|
|
"Doubtless, my dear," said Mr. Casaubon, with a slight bow.
|
|
"The notes I have here made will want sifting, and you can,
|
|
if you please, extract them under my direction."
|
|
|
|
"And all your notes," said Dorothea, whose heart had already
|
|
burned within her on this subject, so that now she could not help
|
|
speaking with her tongue. "All those rows of volumes--will you not
|
|
now do what you used to speak of?--will you not make up your mind
|
|
what part of them you will use, and begin to write the book which
|
|
will make your vast knowledge useful to the world? I will write
|
|
to your dictation, or I will copy and extract what you tell me:
|
|
I can be of no other use." Dorothea, in a most unaccountable,
|
|
darkly feminine manner, ended with a slight sob and eyes full
|
|
of tears.
|
|
|
|
The excessive feeling manifested would alone have been highly disturbing
|
|
to Mr. Casaubon, but there were other reasons why Dorothea's words
|
|
were among the most cutting and irritating to him that she could
|
|
have been impelled to use. She was as blind to his inward troubles
|
|
as he to hers: she had not yet learned those hidden conflicts in her
|
|
husband which claim our pity. She had not yet listened patiently
|
|
to his heartbeats, but only felt that her own was beating violently.
|
|
In Mr. Casaubon's ear, Dorothea's voice gave loud emphatic iteration
|
|
to those muffled suggestions of consciousness which it was possible
|
|
to explain as mere fancy, the illusion of exaggerated sensitiveness:
|
|
always when such suggestions are unmistakably repeated from without,
|
|
they are resisted as cruel and unjust. We are angered even by the
|
|
full acceptance of our humiliating confessions--how much more by
|
|
hearing in hard distinct syllables from the lips of a near observer,
|
|
those confused murmurs which we try to call morbid, and strive
|
|
against as if they were the oncoming of numbness! And this cruel
|
|
outward accuser was there in the shape of a wife--nay, of a
|
|
young bride, who, instead of observing his abundant pen-scratches
|
|
and amplitude of paper with the uncritical awe of an elegant-minded
|
|
canary-bird, seemed to present herself as a spy watching everything
|
|
with a malign power of inference. Here, towards this particular
|
|
point of the compass, Mr. Casaubon had a sensitiveness to match
|
|
Dorothea's, and an equal quickness to imagine more than the fact.
|
|
He had formerly observed with approbation her capacity for worshipping
|
|
the right object; he now foresaw with sudden terror that this
|
|
capacity might be replaced by presumption, this worship by the most
|
|
exasperating of all criticism,--that which sees vaguely a great
|
|
many fine ends, and has not the least notion what it costs to reach them.
|
|
|
|
For the first time since Dorothea had known him, Mr. Casaubon's
|
|
face had a quick angry flush upon it.
|
|
|
|
"My love," he said, with irritation reined in by propriety,
|
|
"you may rely upon me for knowing the times and the seasons,
|
|
adapted to the different stages of a work which is not to be measured
|
|
by the facile conjectures of ignorant onlookers. It had been easy
|
|
for me to gain a temporary effect by a mirage of baseless opinion;
|
|
but it is ever the trial of the scrupulous explorer to be saluted
|
|
with the impatient scorn of chatterers who attempt only the
|
|
smallest achievements, being indeed equipped for no other.
|
|
And it were well if all such could be admonished to discriminate
|
|
judgments of which the true subject-matter lies entirely beyond
|
|
their reach, from those of which the elements may be compassed
|
|
by a narrow and superficial survey."
|
|
|
|
This speech was delivered with an energy and readiness quite unusual
|
|
with Mr. Casaubon. It was not indeed entirely an improvisation,
|
|
but had taken shape in inward colloquy, and rushed out like the round
|
|
grains from a fruit when sudden heat cracks it. Dorothea was not
|
|
only his wife: she was a personification of that shallow world
|
|
which surrounds the appreciated or desponding author.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea was indignant in her turn. Had she not been repressing
|
|
everything in herself except the desire to enter into some fellowship
|
|
with her husband's chief interests?
|
|
|
|
"My judgment WAS a very superficial one--such as I am capable
|
|
of forming," she answered, with a prompt resentment, that needed
|
|
no rehearsal. "You showed me the rows of notebooks--you have often
|
|
spoken of them--you have often said that they wanted digesting.
|
|
But I never heard you speak of the writing that is to be published.
|
|
Those were very simple facts, and my judgment went no farther.
|
|
I only begged you to let me be of some good to you."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea rose to leave the table and Mr. Casaubon made no reply,
|
|
taking up a letter which lay beside him as if to reperuse it.
|
|
Both were shocked at their mutual situation--that each should
|
|
have betrayed anger towards the other. If they had been at home,
|
|
settled at Lowick in ordinary life among their neighbors, the clash
|
|
would have been less embarrassing: but on a wedding journey,
|
|
the express object of which is to isolate two people on the ground
|
|
that they are all the world to each other, the sense of disagreement is,
|
|
to say the least, confounding and stultifying. To have changed
|
|
your longitude extensively and placed yourselves in a moral
|
|
solitude in order to have small explosions, to find conversation
|
|
difficult and to hand a glass of water without looking, can hardly
|
|
be regarded as satisfactory fulfilment even to the toughest minds.
|
|
To Dorothea's inexperienced sensitiveness, it seemed like a catastrophe,
|
|
changing all prospects; and to Mr. Casaubon it was a new pain,
|
|
he never having been on a wedding journey before, or found himself
|
|
in that close union which was more of a subjection than he had been
|
|
able to imagine, since this charming young bride not only obliged
|
|
him to much consideration on her behalf (which he had sedulously
|
|
given), but turned out to be capable of agitating him cruelly just
|
|
where he most needed soothing. Instead of getting a soft fence
|
|
against the cold, shadowy, unapplausive audience of his life, had he
|
|
only given it a more substantial presence?
|
|
|
|
Neither of them felt it possible to speak again at present.
|
|
To have reversed a previous arrangement and declined to go out would
|
|
have been a show of persistent anger which Dorothea's conscience
|
|
shrank from, seeing that she already began to feel herself guilty.
|
|
However just her indignation might be, her ideal was not to
|
|
claim justice, but to give tenderness. So when the carriage
|
|
came to the door, she drove with Mr. Casaubon to the Vatican,
|
|
walked with him through the stony avenue of inscriptions, and when
|
|
she parted with him at the entrance to the Library, went on through
|
|
the Museum out of mere listlessness as to what was around her.
|
|
She had not spirit to turn round and say that she would drive anywhere.
|
|
It was when Mr. Casaubon was quitting her that Naumann had first
|
|
seen her, and he had entered the long gallery of sculpture at
|
|
the same time with her; but here Naumann had to await Ladislaw
|
|
with whom he was to settle a bet of champagne about an enigmatical
|
|
mediaeval-looking figure there. After they had examined the figure,
|
|
and had walked on finishing their dispute, they had parted,
|
|
Ladislaw lingering behind while Naumann had gone into the Hall
|
|
of Statues where he again saw Dorothea, and saw her in that brooding
|
|
abstraction which made her pose remarkable. She did not really see
|
|
the streak of sunlight on the floor more than she saw the statues:
|
|
she was inwardly seeing the light of years to come in her own home
|
|
and over the English fields and elms and hedge-bordered highroads;
|
|
and feeling that the way in which they might be filled with joyful
|
|
devotedness was not so clear to her as it had been. But in Dorothea's
|
|
mind there was a current into which all thought and feeling were
|
|
apt sooner or later to flow--the reaching forward of the whole
|
|
consciousness towards the fullest truth, the least partial good.
|
|
There was clearly something better than anger and despondency.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XXI.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Hire facounde eke full womanly and plain,
|
|
No contrefeted termes had she
|
|
To semen wise."
|
|
--CHAUCER.
|
|
|
|
|
|
It was in that way Dorothea came to be sobbing as soon as she was
|
|
securely alone. But she was presently roused by a knock at the door,
|
|
which made her hastily dry her eyes before saying, "Come in."
|
|
Tantripp had brought a card, and said that there was a gentleman
|
|
waiting in the lobby. The courier had told him that only Mrs. Casaubon
|
|
was at home, but he said he was a relation of Mr. Casaubon's: would
|
|
she see him?
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Dorothea, without pause; "show him into the salon."
|
|
Her chief impressions about young Ladislaw were that when she
|
|
had seen him at Lowick she had been made aware of Mr. Casaubon's
|
|
generosity towards him, and also that she had been interested
|
|
in his own hesitation about his career. She was alive to anything
|
|
that gave her an opportunity for active sympathy, and at this
|
|
moment it seemed as if the visit had come to shake her out of her
|
|
self-absorbed discontent--to remind her of her husband's goodness,
|
|
and make her feel that she had now the right to be his helpmate
|
|
in all kind deeds. She waited a minute or two, but when she passed
|
|
into the next room there were just signs enough that she had been
|
|
crying to make her open face look more youthful and appealing
|
|
than usual. She met Ladislaw with that exquisite smile of good-will
|
|
which is unmixed with vanity, and held out her hand to him.
|
|
He was the elder by several years, but at that moment he looked
|
|
much the younger, for his transparent complexion flushed suddenly,
|
|
and he spoke with a shyness extremely unlike the ready indifference
|
|
of his manner with his male companion, while Dorothea became all
|
|
the calmer with a wondering desire to put him at ease.
|
|
|
|
"I was not aware that you and Mr. Casaubon were in Rome,
|
|
until this morning, when I saw you in the Vatican Museum," he said.
|
|
"I knew you at once--but--I mean, that I concluded Mr. Casaubon's
|
|
address would be found at the Poste Restante, and I was anxious
|
|
to pay my respects to him and you as early as possible."
|
|
|
|
"Pray sit down. He is not here now, but he will be glad to hear
|
|
of you, I am sure," said Dorothea, seating herself unthinkingly
|
|
between the fire and the light of the tall window, and pointing
|
|
to a chair opposite, with the quietude of a benignant matron.
|
|
The signs of girlish sorrow in her face were only the more striking.
|
|
"Mr. Casaubon is much engaged; but you will leave your address--
|
|
will you not?--and he will write to you."
|
|
|
|
"You are very good," said Ladislaw, beginning to lose his
|
|
diffidence in the interest with which he was observing the signs
|
|
of weeping which had altered her face. "My address is on my card.
|
|
But if you will allow me I will call again to-morrow at an hour
|
|
when Mr. Casaubon is likely to be at home."
|
|
|
|
"He goes to read in the Library of the Vatican every day, and you
|
|
can hardly see him except by an appointment. Especially now.
|
|
We are about to leave Rome, and he is very busy. He is usually away
|
|
almost from breakfast till dinner. But I am sure he will wish you
|
|
to dine with us."
|
|
|
|
Will Ladislaw was struck mute for a few moments. He had never been fond
|
|
of Mr. Casaubon, and if it had not been for the sense of obligation,
|
|
would have laughed at him as a Bat of erudition. But the idea
|
|
of this dried-up pedant, this elaborator of small explanations
|
|
about as important as the surplus stock of false antiquities kept
|
|
in a vendor's back chamber, having first got this adorable young
|
|
creature to marry him, and then passing his honeymoon away from her,
|
|
groping after his mouldy futilities (Will was given to hyperbole)--
|
|
this sudden picture stirred him with a sort of comic disgust:
|
|
he was divided between the impulse to laugh aloud and the equally
|
|
unseasonable impulse to burst into scornful invective.
|
|
|
|
For an instant he felt that the struggle, was causing a queer
|
|
contortion of his mobile features, but with a good effort
|
|
he resolved it into nothing more offensive than a merry smile.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea wondered; but the smile was irresistible, and shone back
|
|
from her face too. Will Ladislaw's smile was delightful, unless you
|
|
were angry with him beforehand: it was a gush of inward light
|
|
illuminating the transparent skin as well as the eyes, and playing
|
|
about every curve and line as if some Ariel were touching them
|
|
with a new charm, and banishing forever the traces of moodiness.
|
|
The reflection of that smile could not but have a little merriment
|
|
in it too, even under dark eyelashes still moist, as Dorothea
|
|
said inquiringly, "Something amuses you?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Will, quick in finding resources. "I am thinking
|
|
of the sort of figure I cut the first time I saw you, when you
|
|
annihilated my poor sketch with your criticism."
|
|
|
|
"My criticism?" said Dorothea, wondering still more. "Surely not.
|
|
I always feel particularly ignorant about painting."
|
|
|
|
"I suspected you of knowing so much, that you knew how to say just what
|
|
was most cutting. You said--I dare say you don't remember it as I do--
|
|
that the relation of my sketch to nature was quite hidden from you.
|
|
At least, you implied that." Will could laugh now as well as smile.
|
|
|
|
"That was really my ignorance," said Dorothea, admiring
|
|
|
|
Will's good-humor. "I must have said so only because I never could see
|
|
any beauty in the pictures which my uncle told me all judges thought
|
|
very fine. And I have gone about with just the same ignorance in Rome.
|
|
There are comparatively few paintings that I can really enjoy.
|
|
At first when I enter a room where the walls are covered with frescos,
|
|
or with rare pictures, I feel a kind of awe--like a child present
|
|
at great ceremonies where there are grand robes and processions;
|
|
I feel myself in the presence of some higher life than my own.
|
|
But when I begin to examine the pictures one by on the life goes
|
|
out of them, or else is something violent and strange to me.
|
|
It must be my own dulness. I am seeing so much all at once,
|
|
and not understanding half of it. That always makes one feel stupid.
|
|
It is painful to be told that anything is very fine and not be able
|
|
to feel that it is fine--something like being blind, while people
|
|
talk of the sky."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, there is a great deal in the feeling for art which must
|
|
be acquired," said Will. (It was impossible now to doubt the
|
|
directness of Dorothea's confession.) "Art is an old language
|
|
with a great many artificial affected styles, and sometimes
|
|
the chief pleasure one gets out of knowing them is the mere
|
|
sense of knowing. I enjoy the art of all sorts here immensely;
|
|
but I suppose if I could pick my enjoyment to pieces I should
|
|
find it made up of many different threads. There is something
|
|
in daubing a little one's self, and having an idea of the process."
|
|
|
|
"You mean perhaps to be a painter?" said Dorothea, with a new
|
|
direction of interest. "You mean to make painting your profession?
|
|
Mr. Casaubon will like to hear that you have chosen a profession."
|
|
|
|
"No, oh no," said Will, with some coldness. "I have quite made
|
|
up my mind against it. It is too one-sided a life. I have been
|
|
seeing a great deal of the German artists here: I travelled from
|
|
Frankfort with one of them. Some are fine, even brilliant fellows--
|
|
but I should not like to get into their way of looking at the world
|
|
entirely from the studio point of view."
|
|
|
|
"That I can understand," said Dorothea, cordially. "And in Rome
|
|
it seems as if there were so many things which are more wanted
|
|
in the world than pictures. But if you have a genius for painting,
|
|
would it not be right to take that as a guide? Perhaps you might
|
|
do better things than these--or different, so that there might not
|
|
be so many pictures almost all alike in the same place."
|
|
|
|
There was no mistaking this simplicity, and Will was won by it
|
|
into frankness. "A man must have a very rare genius to make changes
|
|
of that sort. I am afraid mine would not carry me even to the pitch
|
|
of doing well what has been done already, at least not so well
|
|
as to make it worth while. And I should never succeed in anything
|
|
by dint of drudgery. If things don't come easily to me I never get them."
|
|
|
|
"I have heard Mr. Casaubon say that he regrets your want of patience,"
|
|
said Dorothea, gently. She was rather shocked at this mode of taking
|
|
all life as a holiday.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I know Mr. Casaubon's opinion. He and I differ."
|
|
|
|
The slight streak of contempt in this hasty reply offended Dorothea.
|
|
She was all the more susceptible about Mr. Casaubon because of her
|
|
morning's trouble.
|
|
|
|
"Certainly you differ," she said, rather proudly. "I did not
|
|
think of comparing you: such power of persevering devoted labor
|
|
as Mr. Casaubon's is not common."
|
|
|
|
Will saw that she was offended, but this only gave an additional impulse
|
|
to the new irritation of his latent dislike towards Mr. Casaubon.
|
|
It was too intolerable that Dorothea should be worshipping this husband:
|
|
such weakness in a woman is pleasant to no man but the husband
|
|
in question. Mortals are easily tempted to pinch the life out of
|
|
their neighbor's buzzing glory, and think that such killing is no murder.
|
|
|
|
"No, indeed," he answered, promptly. "And therefore it is a pity
|
|
that it should be thrown away, as so much English scholarship is,
|
|
for want of knowing what is being done by the rest of the world.
|
|
If Mr. Casaubon read German he would save himself a great deal
|
|
of trouble."
|
|
|
|
"I do not understand you," said Dorothea, startled and anxious.
|
|
|
|
"I merely mean," said Will, in an offhand way, "that the Germans
|
|
have taken the lead in historical inquiries, and they laugh at
|
|
results which are got by groping about in woods with a pocket-compass
|
|
while they have made good roads. When I was with Mr. Casaubon I
|
|
saw that he deafened himself in that direction: it was almost
|
|
against his will that he read a Latin treatise written by a German.
|
|
I was very sorry."
|
|
|
|
Will only thought of giving a good pinch that would annihilate
|
|
that vaunted laboriousness, and was unable to imagine the mode
|
|
in which Dorothea would be wounded. Young Mr. Ladislaw was not at
|
|
all deep himself in German writers; but very little achievement
|
|
is required in order to pity another man's shortcomings.
|
|
|
|
Poor Dorothea felt a pang at the thought that the labor of her
|
|
husband's life might be void, which left her no energy to spare
|
|
for the question whether this young relative who was so much
|
|
obliged to him ought not to have repressed his observation.
|
|
She did not even speak, but sat looking at her hands, absorbed in
|
|
the piteousness of that thought.
|
|
|
|
Will, however, having given that annihilating pinch, was rather ashamed,
|
|
imagining from Dorothea's silence that he had offended her still more;
|
|
and having also a conscience about plucking the tail-feathers
|
|
from a benefactor.
|
|
|
|
"I regretted it especially," he resumed, taking the usual course
|
|
from detraction to insincere eulogy, "because of my gratitude
|
|
and respect towards my cousin. It would not signify so much
|
|
in a man whose talents and character were less distinguished."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea raised her eyes, brighter than usual with excited feeling,
|
|
and said in her saddest recitative, "How I wish I had learned German
|
|
when I was at Lausanne! There were plenty of German teachers.
|
|
But now I can be of no use."
|
|
|
|
There was a new light, but still a mysterious light, for Will
|
|
in Dorothea's last words. The question how she had come to accept
|
|
Mr. Casaubon--which he had dismissed when he first saw her by saying
|
|
that she must be disagreeable in spite of appearances--was not now
|
|
to be answered on any such short and easy method. Whatever else
|
|
she might be, she was not disagreeable. She was not coldly clever
|
|
and indirectly satirical, but adorably simple and full of feeling.
|
|
She was an angel beguiled. It would be a unique delight to wait
|
|
and watch for the melodious fragments in which her heart and soul
|
|
came forth so directly and ingenuously. The AEolian harp again
|
|
came into his mind.
|
|
|
|
She must have made some original romance for herself in this marriage.
|
|
And if Mr. Casaubon had been a dragon who had carried her off to
|
|
his lair with his talons simply and without legal forms, it would
|
|
have been an unavoidable feat of heroism to release her and fall
|
|
at her feet. But he was something more unmanageable than a dragon:
|
|
he was a benefactor with collective society at his back, and he
|
|
was at that moment entering the room in all the unimpeachable
|
|
correctness of his demeanor, while Dorothea was looking animated
|
|
with a newly roused alarm and regret, and Will was looking animated
|
|
with his admiring speculation about her feelings.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon felt a surprise which was quite unmixed with pleasure,
|
|
but he did not swerve from his usual politeness of greeting,
|
|
when Will rose and explained his presence. Mr. Casaubon was less
|
|
happy than usual, and this perhaps made him look all the dimmer
|
|
and more faded; else, the effect might easily have been produced by
|
|
the contrast of his young cousin's appearance. The first impression
|
|
on seeing Will was one of sunny brightness, which added to the
|
|
uncertainty of his changing expression. Surely, his very features
|
|
changed their form, his jaw looked sometimes large and sometimes small;
|
|
and the little ripple in his nose was a preparation for metamorphosis.
|
|
When he turned his head quickly his hair seemed to shake out light,
|
|
and some persons thought they saw decided genius in this coruscation.
|
|
Mr. Casaubon, on the contrary, stood rayless.
|
|
|
|
As Dorothea's eyes were turned anxiously on her husband she was
|
|
perhaps not insensible to the contrast, but it was only mingled
|
|
with other causes in making her more conscious of that new alarm
|
|
on his behalf which was the first stirring of a pitying tenderness
|
|
fed by the realities of his lot and not by her own dreams.
|
|
Yet it was a source of greater freedom to her that Will was there;
|
|
his young equality was agreeable, and also perhaps his openness
|
|
to conviction. She felt an immense need of some one to speak to,
|
|
and she had never before seen any one who seemed so quick and pliable,
|
|
so likely to understand everything.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon gravely hoped that Will was passing his time profitably
|
|
as well as pleasantly in Rome--had thought his intention was to remain
|
|
in South Germany--but begged him to come and dine to-morrow, when he
|
|
could converse more at large: at present he was somewhat weary.
|
|
Ladislaw understood, and accepting the invitation immediately took
|
|
his leave.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea's eyes followed her husband anxiously, while he sank down
|
|
wearily at the end of a sofa, and resting his elbow supported his head
|
|
and looked on the floor. A little flushed, and with bright eyes,
|
|
she seated herself beside him, and said--
|
|
|
|
"Forgive me for speaking so hastily to you this morning. I was wrong.
|
|
I fear I hurt you and made the day more burdensome."
|
|
|
|
"I am glad that you feel that, my dear," said Mr. Casaubon.
|
|
He spoke quietly and bowed. his head a little, but there was still
|
|
an uneasy feeling in his eyes as he looked at her.
|
|
|
|
"But you do forgive me?" said Dorothea, with a quick sob. In her
|
|
need for some manifestation of feeling she was ready to exaggerate
|
|
her own fault. Would not love see returning penitence afar off,
|
|
and fall on its neck and kiss it?
|
|
|
|
"My dear Dorothea--`who with repentance is not satisfied, is not
|
|
of heaven nor earth:'--you do not think me worthy to be banished
|
|
by that severe sentence," said Mr. Casaubon, exerting himself
|
|
to make a strong statement, and also to smile faintly.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea was silent, but a tear which had come up with the sob
|
|
would insist on falling.
|
|
|
|
"You are excited, my dear.. And I also am feeling some unpleasant
|
|
consequences of too much mental disturbance," said Mr. Casaubon.
|
|
In fact, he had it in his thought to tell her that she ought not
|
|
to have received young Ladislaw in his absence: but he abstained,
|
|
partly from the sense that it would be ungracious to bring
|
|
a new complaint in the moment of her penitent acknowledgment,
|
|
partly because he wanted to avoid further agitation of himself
|
|
by speech, and partly because he was too proud to betray that jealousy
|
|
of disposition which was not so exhausted on his scholarly compeers
|
|
that there was none to spare in other directions. There is a sort
|
|
of jealousy which needs very little fire: it is hardly a passion,
|
|
but a blight bred in the cloudy, damp despondency of uneasy egoism.
|
|
|
|
"I think it is time for us to dress," he added, looking at his watch.
|
|
They both rose, and there was never any further allusion between them
|
|
to what had passed on this day.
|
|
|
|
But Dorothea remembered it to the last with the vividness with
|
|
which we all remember epochs in our experience when some dear
|
|
expectation dies, or some new motive is born. Today she had
|
|
begun to see that she had been under a wild illusion in expecting
|
|
a response to her feeling from Mr. Casaubon, and she had felt the
|
|
waking of a presentiment that there might be a sad consciousness
|
|
in his life which made as great a need on his side as on her own.
|
|
|
|
We are all of us born in moral stupidity, taking the world as
|
|
an udder to feed our supreme selves: Dorothea had early begun
|
|
to emerge from that stupidity, but yet it had been easier to her
|
|
to imagine how she would devote herself to Mr. Casaubon, and become
|
|
wise and strong in his strength and wisdom, than to conceive
|
|
with that distinctness which is no longer reflection but feeling--
|
|
an idea wrought back to the directness of sense, like the solidity
|
|
of objects--that he had an equivalent centre of self, whence the
|
|
lights and shadows must always fall with a certain difference.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XXII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Nous causames longtemps; elle etait simple et bonne.
|
|
Ne sachant pas le mal, elle faisait le bien;
|
|
Des richesses du coeur elle me fit l'aumone,
|
|
Et tout en ecoutant comme le coeur se donne,
|
|
Sans oser y penser je lui donnai le mien;
|
|
Elle emporta ma vie, et n'en sut jamais rien."
|
|
--ALFRED DE MUSSET.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Will Ladislaw was delightfully agreeable at dinner the next day,
|
|
and gave no opportunity for Mr. Casaubon to show disapprobation.
|
|
On the contrary it seemed to Dorothea that Will had a happier way
|
|
of drawing her husband into conversation and of deferentially
|
|
listening to him than she had ever observed in any one before.
|
|
To be sure, the listeners about Tipton were not highly gifted!
|
|
Will talked a good deal himself, but what he said was thrown in with
|
|
such rapidity, and with such an unimportant air of saying something
|
|
by the way, that it seemed a gay little chime after the great bell.
|
|
If Will was not always perfect, this was certainly one of his good days.
|
|
He described touches of incident among the poor people in Rome,
|
|
only to be seen by one who could move about freely; he found
|
|
himself in agreement with Mr. Casaubon as to the unsound opinions
|
|
of Middleton concerning the relations of Judaism and Catholicism;
|
|
and passed easily to a half-enthusiastic half-playful picture
|
|
of the enjoyment he got out of the very miscellaneousness of Rome,
|
|
which made the mind flexible with constant comparison, and saved
|
|
you from seeing the world's ages as a set of box-like partitions
|
|
without vital connection. Mr. Casaubon's studies, Will observed,
|
|
had always been of too broad a kind for that, and he had perhaps
|
|
never felt any such sudden effect, but for himself he confessed
|
|
that Rome had given him quite a new sense of history as a whole:
|
|
the fragments stimulated his imagination and made him constructive.
|
|
Then occasionally, but not too often, he appealed to Dorothea,
|
|
and discussed what she said, as if her sentiment were an item
|
|
to be considered in the final judgment even of the Madonna di
|
|
Foligno or the Laocoon. A sense of contributing to form the world's
|
|
opinion makes conversation particularly cheerful; and Mr. Casaubon
|
|
too was not without his pride in his young wife, who spoke better
|
|
than most women, as indeed he had perceived in choosing her.
|
|
|
|
Since things were going on so pleasantly, Mr. Casaubon's statement
|
|
that his labors in the Library would be suspended for a couple of days,
|
|
and that after a brief renewal he should have no further reason
|
|
for staying in Rome, encouraged Will to urge that Mrs. Casaubon
|
|
should not go away without seeing a studio or two. Would not
|
|
Mr. Casaubon take her? That sort of thing ought not to be missed:
|
|
it was quite special: it was a form of life that grew like a small
|
|
fresh vegetation with its population of insects on huge fossils.
|
|
Will would be happy to conduct them--not to anything wearisome,
|
|
only to a few examples.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon, seeing Dorothea look earnestly towards him,
|
|
could not but ask her if she would be interested in such visits:
|
|
he was now at her service during the whole day; and it was agreed
|
|
that Will should come on the morrow and drive with them.
|
|
|
|
Will could not omit Thorwaldsen, a living celebrity about whom
|
|
even Mr. Casaubon inquired, but before the day was far advanced
|
|
he led the way to the studio of his friend Adolf Naumann,
|
|
whom he mentioned as one of the chief renovators of Christian art,
|
|
one of those who had not only revived but expanded that grand
|
|
conception of supreme events as mysteries at which the successive
|
|
ages were spectators, and in relation to which the great souls
|
|
of all periods became as it were contemporaries. Will added
|
|
that he had made himself Naumann's pupil for the nonce.
|
|
|
|
"I have been making some oil-sketches under him," said Will.
|
|
"I hate copying. I must put something of my own in. Naumann has
|
|
been painting the Saints drawing the Car of the Church, and I have
|
|
been making a sketch of Marlowe's Tamburlaine Driving the Conquered
|
|
Kings in his Chariot. I am not so ecclesiastical as Naumann,
|
|
and I sometimes twit him with his excess of meaning. But this time
|
|
I mean to outdo him in breadth of intention. I take Tamburlaine
|
|
in his chariot for the tremendous course of the world's physical
|
|
history lashing on the harnessed dynasties. In my opinion, that is
|
|
a good mythical interpretation." Will here looked at Mr. Casaubon,
|
|
who received this offhand treatment of symbolism very uneasily,
|
|
and bowed with a neutral air.
|
|
|
|
"The sketch must be very grand, if it conveys so much," said Dorothea.
|
|
"I should need some explanation even of the meaning you give.
|
|
Do you intend Tamburlaine to represent earthquakes and volcanoes?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh yes," said Will, laughing, "and migrations of races and
|
|
clearings of forests--and America and the steam-engine. Everything
|
|
you can imagine!"
|
|
|
|
"What a difficult kind of shorthand!" said Dorothea, smiling towards
|
|
her husband. "It would require all your knowledge to be able
|
|
to read it."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon blinked furtively at Will. He had a suspicion that he
|
|
was being laughed at. But it was not possible to include Dorothea
|
|
in the suspicion.
|
|
|
|
They found Naumann painting industriously, but no model was present;
|
|
his pictures were advantageously arranged, and his own plain vivacious
|
|
person set off by a dove-colored blouse and a maroon velvet cap,
|
|
so that everything was as fortunate as if he had expected the
|
|
beautiful young English lady exactly at that time.
|
|
|
|
The painter in his confident English gave little dissertations on his
|
|
finished and unfinished subjects, seeming to observe Mr. Casaubon
|
|
as much as he did Dorothea. Will burst in here and there with ardent
|
|
words of praise, marking out particular merits in his friend's work;
|
|
and Dorothea felt that she was getting quite new notions as to
|
|
the significance of Madonnas seated under inexplicable canopied
|
|
thrones with the simple country as a background, and of saints
|
|
with architectural models in their hands, or knives accidentally
|
|
wedged in their skulls. Some things which had seemed monstrous
|
|
to her were gathering intelligibility and even a natural meaning:
|
|
but all this was apparently a branch of knowledge in which
|
|
Mr. Casaubon had not interested himself.
|
|
|
|
"I think I would rather feel that painting is beautiful than
|
|
have to read it as an enigma; but I should learn to understand
|
|
these pictures sooner than yours with the very wide meaning,"
|
|
said Dorothea, speaking to Will.
|
|
|
|
"Don't speak of my painting before Naumann," said Will. "He will
|
|
tell you, it is all pfuscherei, which is his most opprobrious word!"
|
|
|
|
"Is that true?" said Dorothea, turning her sincere eyes on Naumann,
|
|
who made a slight grimace and said--
|
|
|
|
"Oh, he does not mean it seriously with painting. His walk must
|
|
be belles-lettres. That is wi-ide."
|
|
|
|
Naumann's pronunciation of the vowel seemed to stretch the
|
|
word satirically. Will did not half like it, but managed to laugh:
|
|
and Mr. Casaubon, while he felt some disgust at the artist's German
|
|
accent, began to entertain a little respect for his judicious severity.
|
|
|
|
The respect was not diminished when Naumann, after drawing Will
|
|
aside for a moment and looking, first at a large canvas, then at
|
|
Mr. Casaubon, came forward again and said--
|
|
|
|
"My friend Ladislaw thinks you will pardon me, sir, if I say
|
|
that a sketch of your head would be invaluable to me for the
|
|
St. Thomas Aquinas in my picture there. It is too much to ask;
|
|
but I so seldom see just what I want--the idealistic in the real."
|
|
|
|
"You astonish me greatly, sir," said Mr. Casaubon, his looks improved
|
|
with a glow of delight; "but if my poor physiognomy, which I have
|
|
been accustomed to regard as of the commonest order, can be of any
|
|
use to you in furnishing some traits for the angelical doctor,
|
|
I shall feel honored. That is to say, if the operation will not
|
|
be a lengthy one; and if Mrs. Casaubon will not object to the delay."
|
|
|
|
As for Dorothea, nothing could have pleased her more, unless it
|
|
had been a miraculous voice pronouncing Mr. Casaubon the wisest
|
|
and worthiest among the sons of men. In that case her tottering
|
|
faith would have become firm again.
|
|
|
|
Naumann's apparatus was at hand in wonderful completeness, and the
|
|
sketch went on at once as well as the conversation. Dorothea sat
|
|
down and subsided into calm silence, feeling happier than she had
|
|
done for a long while before. Every one about her seemed good,
|
|
and she said to herself that Rome, if she had only been less ignorant,
|
|
would have been full of beauty its sadness would have been winged
|
|
with hope. No nature could be less suspicious than hers:
|
|
when she was a child she believed in the gratitude of wasps and
|
|
the honorable susceptibility of sparrows, and was proportionately
|
|
indignant when their baseness was made manifest.
|
|
|
|
The adroit artist was asking Mr. Casaubon questions about
|
|
English polities, which brought long answers, and, Will meanwhile
|
|
had perched himself on some steps in the background overlooking all.
|
|
|
|
Presently Naumann said--"Now if I could lay this by for half
|
|
an hour and take it up again--come and look, Ladislaw--I think
|
|
it is perfect so far."
|
|
|
|
Will vented those adjuring interjections which imply that admiration
|
|
is too strong for syntax; and Naumann said in a tone of piteous regret--
|
|
|
|
"Ah--now--if I could but have had more--but you have other engagements--
|
|
I could not ask it--or even to come again to-morrow."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, let us stay!" said Dorothea. "We have nothing to do to-day except
|
|
go about, have we?" she added, looking entreatingly at Mr. Casaubon.
|
|
"It would be a pity not to make the head as good as possible."
|
|
|
|
"I am at your service, sir, in the matter," said Mr. Casaubon,
|
|
with polite condescension. "Having given up the interior of my
|
|
head to idleness, it is as well that the exterior should work
|
|
in this way."
|
|
|
|
"You are unspeakably good--now I am happy!" said Naumann, and then
|
|
went on in German to Will, pointing here and there to the sketch
|
|
as if he were considering that. Putting it aside for a moment,
|
|
he looked round vaguely, as if seeking some occupation for his visitors,
|
|
and afterwards turning to Mr. Casaubon, said--
|
|
|
|
"Perhaps the beautiful bride, the gracious lady, would not be
|
|
unwilling to let me fill up the time by trying to make a slight
|
|
sketch of her--not, of course, as you see, for that picture--
|
|
only as a single study."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon, bowing, doubted not that Mrs. Casaubon would oblige him,
|
|
and Dorothea said, at once, "Where shall I put myself?"
|
|
|
|
Naumann was all apologies in asking her to stand, and allow him to
|
|
adjust her attitude, to which she submitted without any of the affected
|
|
airs and laughs frequently thought necessary on such occasions,
|
|
when the painter said, "It is as Santa Clara that I want you to stand--
|
|
leaning so, with your cheek against your hand--so--looking at
|
|
that stool, please, so!"
|
|
|
|
Will was divided between the inclination to fall at the Saint's feet
|
|
and kiss her robe, and the temptation to knock Naumann down while he
|
|
was adjusting her arm. All this was impudence and desecration,
|
|
and he repented that he had brought her.
|
|
|
|
The artist was diligent, and Will recovering himself moved about
|
|
and occupied Mr. Casaubon as ingeniously as he could; but he did
|
|
not in the end prevent the time from seeming long to that gentleman,
|
|
as was clear from his expressing a fear that Mrs. Casaubon would
|
|
be tired. Naumann took the hint and said--
|
|
|
|
"Now, sir, if you can oblige me again; I will release the lady-wife."
|
|
|
|
So Mr. Casaubon's patience held out further, and when after all it
|
|
turned out that the head of Saint Thomas Aquinas would be more perfect
|
|
if another sitting could be had, it was granted for the morrow.
|
|
On the morrow Santa Clara too was retouched more than once.
|
|
The result of all was so far from displeasing to Mr. Casaubon,
|
|
that he arranged for the purchase of the picture in which Saint
|
|
Thomas Aquinas sat among the doctors of the Church in a disputation
|
|
too abstract to be represented, but listened to with more or less
|
|
attention by an audience above. The Santa Clara, which was spoken of
|
|
in the second place, Naumann declared himself to be dissatisfied with--
|
|
he could not, in conscience, engage to make a worthy picture of it;
|
|
so about the Santa Clara the arrangement was conditional.
|
|
|
|
I will not dwell on Naumann's jokes at the expense of Mr. Casaubon
|
|
that evening, or on his dithyrambs about Dorothea's charm, in all
|
|
which Will joined, but with a difference. No sooner did Naumann
|
|
mention any detail of Dorothea's beauty, than Will got exasperated
|
|
at his presumption: there was grossness in his choice of the most
|
|
ordinary words, and what business had he to talk of her lips?
|
|
She was not a woman to be spoken of as other women were. Will could
|
|
not say just what he thought, but he became irritable. And yet,
|
|
when after some resistance he had consented to take the Casaubons
|
|
to his friend's studio, he had been allured by the gratification
|
|
of his pride in being the person who could grant Naumann such an
|
|
opportunity of studying her loveliness--or rather her divineness,
|
|
for the ordinary phrases which might apply to mere bodily prettiness
|
|
were not applicable to her. (Certainly all Tipton and its neighborhood,
|
|
as well as Dorothea herself, would have been surprised at her beauty
|
|
being made so much of. In that part of the world Miss Brooke had
|
|
been only a "fine young woman.")
|
|
|
|
"Oblige me by letting the subject drop, Naumann. Mrs. Casaubon
|
|
is not to be talked of as if she were a model," said Will.
|
|
Naumann stared at him.
|
|
|
|
"Schon! I will talk of my Aquinas. The head is not a bad type,
|
|
after all. I dare say the great scholastic himself would have been
|
|
flattered to have his portrait asked for. Nothing like these
|
|
starchy doctors for vanity! It was as I thought: he cared much
|
|
less for her portrait than his own."
|
|
|
|
"He's a cursed white-blooded pedantic coxcomb," said Will,
|
|
with gnashing impetuosity. His obligations to Mr. Casaubon were
|
|
not known to his hearer, but Will himself was thinking of them,
|
|
and wishing that he could discharge them all by a check.
|
|
|
|
Naumann gave a shrug and said, "It is good they go away soon, my dear.
|
|
They are spoiling your fine temper."
|
|
|
|
All Will's hope and contrivance were now concentrated on seeing
|
|
Dorothea when she was alone. He only wanted her to take more
|
|
emphatic notice of him; he only wanted to be something more special
|
|
in her remembrance than he could yet believe himself likely to be.
|
|
He was rather impatient under that open ardent good-will, reach he
|
|
saw was her usual state of feeling. The remote worship of a woman
|
|
throned out of their reach plays a great part in men's lives,
|
|
but in most cases the worshipper longs for some queenly recognition,
|
|
some approving sign by which his soul's sovereign may cheer him without
|
|
descending from her high place. That was precisely what Will wanted.
|
|
But there were plenty of contradictions in his imaginative demands.
|
|
It was beautiful to see how Dorothea's eyes turned with wifely
|
|
anxiety and beseeching to Mr. Casaubon: she would have lost some
|
|
of her halo if she had been without that duteous preoccupation;
|
|
and yet at the next moment the husband's sandy absorption of such
|
|
nectar was too intolerable; and Will's longing to say damaging things
|
|
about him was perhaps not the less tormenting because he felt the
|
|
strongest reasons for restraining it.
|
|
|
|
Will had not been invited to dine the next day. Hence he persuaded
|
|
himself that he was bound to call, and that the only eligible time
|
|
was the middle of the day, when Mr. Casaubon would not be at home.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea, who had not been made aware that her former reception of
|
|
Will had displeased her husband, had no hesitation about seeing him,
|
|
especially as he might be come to pay a farewell visit. When he entered
|
|
she was looking at some cameos which she had been buying for Celia.
|
|
She greeted Will as if his visit were quite a matter of course,
|
|
and said at once, having a cameo bracelet in her hand--
|
|
|
|
"I am so glad you are come. Perhaps you understand all about cameos,
|
|
and can tell me if these are really good. I wished to have you
|
|
with us in choosing them, but Mr. Casaubon objected: he thought
|
|
there was not time. He will finish his work to-morrow, and we shall
|
|
go away in three days. I have been uneasy about these cameos.
|
|
Pray sit down and look at them."
|
|
|
|
"I am not particularly knowing, but there can be no great mistake
|
|
about these little Homeric bits: they are exquisitely neat.
|
|
And the color is fine: it will just suit you."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, they are for my sister, who has quite a different complexion.
|
|
You saw her with me at Lowick: she is light-haired and very pretty--
|
|
at least I think so. We were never so long away from each other in our
|
|
lives before. She is a great pet and never was naughty in her life.
|
|
I found out before I came away that she wanted me to buy her some cameos,
|
|
and I should be sorry for them not to be good--after their kind."
|
|
Dorothea added the last words with a smile.
|
|
|
|
"You seem not to care about cameos," said Will, seating himself at
|
|
some distance from her, and observing her while she closed the oases.
|
|
|
|
"No, frankly, I don't think them a great object in life," said Dorothea
|
|
|
|
"I fear you are a heretic about art generally. How is that? I should
|
|
have expected you to be very sensitive to the beautiful everywhere."
|
|
|
|
"I suppose I am dull about many things," said Dorothea, simply.
|
|
"I should like to make life beautiful--I mean everybody's life.
|
|
And then all this immense expense of art, that seems somehow to lie
|
|
outside life and make it no better for the world, pains one.
|
|
It spoils my enjoyment of anything when I am made to think that most
|
|
people are shut out from it."
|
|
|
|
"I call that the fanaticism of sympathy," said Will, impetuously.
|
|
"You might say the same of landscape, of poetry, of all refinement.
|
|
If you carried it out you ought to be miserable in your own goodness,
|
|
and turn evil that you might have no advantage over others.
|
|
The best piety is to enjoy--when you can. You are doing the most
|
|
then to save the earth's character as an agreeable planet.
|
|
And enjoyment radiates. It is of no use to try and take care of
|
|
all the world; that is being taken care of when you feel delight--
|
|
in art or in anything else. Would you turn all the youth of the
|
|
world into a tragic chorus, wailing and moralizing over misery?
|
|
I suspect that you have some false belief in the virtues of misery,
|
|
and want to make your life a martyrdom." Will had gone further than
|
|
he intended, and checked himself. But Dorothea's thought was not
|
|
taking just the same direction as his own, and she answered without any
|
|
special emotion--
|
|
|
|
"Indeed you mistake me. I am not a sad, melancholy creature. I am
|
|
never unhappy long together. I am angry and naughty--not like Celia:
|
|
I have a great outburst, and then all seems glorious again.
|
|
I cannot help believing in glorious things in a blind sort of way.
|
|
I should be quite willing to enjoy the art here, but there is
|
|
so much that I don't know the reason of--so much that seems to me
|
|
a consecration of ugliness rather than beauty. The painting and
|
|
sculpture may be wonderful, but the feeling is often low and brutal,
|
|
and sometimes even ridiculous. Here and there I see what takes me
|
|
at once as noble--something that I might compare with the Alban
|
|
Mountains or the sunset from the Pincian Hill; but that makes it
|
|
the greater pity that there is so little of the best kind among all
|
|
that mass of things over which men have toiled so."
|
|
|
|
"Of course there is always a great deal of poor work: the rarer
|
|
things want that soil to grow in."
|
|
|
|
"Oh dear," said Dorothea, taking up that thought into the chief current
|
|
of her anxiety; "I see it must be very difficult to do anything good.
|
|
I have often felt since I have been in Rome that most of our
|
|
lives would look much uglier and more bungling than the pictures,
|
|
if they could be put on the wall."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea parted her lips again as if she were going to say more,
|
|
but changed her mind and paused.
|
|
|
|
"You are too young--it is an anachronism for you to have such thoughts,"
|
|
said Will, energetically, with a quick shake of the head habitual to him.
|
|
"You talk as if you had never known any youth. It is monstrous--
|
|
as if you had had a vision of Hades in your childhood, like the boy
|
|
in the legend. You have been brought up in some of those horrible
|
|
notions that choose the sweetest women to devour--like Minotaurs
|
|
And now you will go and be shut up in that stone prison at Lowick:
|
|
you will be buried alive. It makes me savage to think of it!
|
|
I would rather never have seen you than think of you with such
|
|
a prospect."
|
|
|
|
Will again feared that he had gone too far; but the meaning we attach
|
|
to words depends on our feeling, and his tone of angry regret had so much
|
|
kindness in it for Dorothea's heart, which had always been giving out
|
|
ardor and had never been fed with much from the living beings around her,
|
|
that she felt a new sense of gratitude and answered with a gentle smile--
|
|
|
|
"It is very good of you to be anxious about me. It is because you
|
|
did not like Lowick yourself: you had set your heart on another
|
|
kind of life. But Lowick is my chosen home."
|
|
|
|
The last sentence was spoken with an almost solemn cadence, and Will
|
|
did not know what to say, since it would not be useful for him
|
|
to embrace her slippers, and tell her that he would die for her:
|
|
it was clear that she required nothing of the sort; and they were
|
|
both silent for a moment or two, when Dorothea began again with an
|
|
air of saying at last what had been in her mind beforehand.
|
|
|
|
"I wanted to ask you again about something you said the other day.
|
|
Perhaps it was half of it your lively way of speaking: I notice
|
|
that you like to put things strongly; I myself often exaggerate
|
|
when I speak hastily."
|
|
|
|
"What was it?" said Will, observing that she spoke with a timidity
|
|
quite new in her. "I have a hyperbolical tongue: it catches fire
|
|
as it goes. I dare say I shall have to retract."
|
|
|
|
"I mean what you said about the necessity of knowing German--I mean,
|
|
for the subjects that Mr. Casaubon is engaged in. I have been thinking
|
|
about it; and it seems to me that with Mr. Casaubon's learning he must
|
|
have before him the same materials as German scholars--has he not?"
|
|
Dorothea's timidity was due to an indistinct consciousness that she
|
|
was in the strange situation of consulting a third person about
|
|
the adequacy of Mr. Casaubon's learning.
|
|
|
|
"Not exactly the same materials," said Will, thinking that he
|
|
would be duly reserved. "He is not an Orientalist, you know.
|
|
He does not profess to have more than second-hand knowledge there."
|
|
|
|
"But there are very valuable books about antiquities which were written
|
|
a long while ago by scholars who knew nothing about these modern things;
|
|
and they are still used. Why should Mr. Casaubon's not be valuable,
|
|
like theirs?" said Dorothea, with more remonstrant energy.
|
|
She was impelled to have the argument aloud, which she had been
|
|
having in her own mind.
|
|
|
|
"That depends on the line of study taken," said Will, also getting
|
|
a tone of rejoinder. "The subject Mr. Casaubon has chosen is as
|
|
changing as chemistry: new discoveries are constantly making new
|
|
points of view. Who wants a system on the basis of the four elements,
|
|
or a book to refute Paracelsus? Do you not see that it is no use
|
|
now to be crawling a little way after men of the last century--
|
|
men like Bryant--and correcting their mistakes?--living in a lumber-room
|
|
and furbishing up broken-legged theories about Chus and Mizraim?"
|
|
|
|
"How can you bear to speak so lightly?" said Dorothea, with a look
|
|
between sorrow and anger. "If it were as you say, what could
|
|
be sadder than so much ardent labor all in vain? I wonder it does
|
|
not affect you more painfully, if you really think that a man
|
|
like Mr. Casaubon, of so much goodness, power, and learning,
|
|
should in any way fail in what has been the labor of his best years."
|
|
She was beginning to be shocked that she had got to such a point
|
|
of supposition, and indignant with Will for having led her to it.
|
|
|
|
"You questioned me about the matter of fact, not of feeling,"
|
|
said Will. "But if you wish to punish me for the fact, I submit.
|
|
I am not in a position to express my feeling toward Mr. Casaubon:
|
|
it would be at best a pensioner's eulogy."
|
|
|
|
"Pray excuse me," said Dorothea, coloring deeply. "I am aware,
|
|
as you say, that I am in fault in having introduced the subject.
|
|
Indeed, I am wrong altogether. Failure after long perseverance is
|
|
much grander than never to have a striving good enough to be called
|
|
a failure."
|
|
|
|
"I quite agree with you," said Will, determined to change the situation--
|
|
"so much so that I have made up my mind not to run that risk of
|
|
never attaining a failure. Mr. Casaubon's generosity has perhaps
|
|
been dangerous to me, and I mean to renounce the liberty it has
|
|
given me. I mean to go back to England shortly and work my own way--
|
|
depend on nobody else than myself."
|
|
|
|
"That is fine--I respect that feeling," said Dorothea,
|
|
with returning kindness. "But Mr. Casaubon, I am sure, has never
|
|
thought of anything in the matter except what was most for your welfare."
|
|
|
|
"She has obstinacy and pride enough to serve instead of love, now she
|
|
has married him," said Will to himself. Aloud he said, rising--
|
|
|
|
"I shall not see you again."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, stay till Mr. Casaubon comes," said Dorothea, earnestly. "I am
|
|
so glad we met in Rome. I wanted to know you."?
|
|
|
|
"And I have made you angry," said Will. "I have made you think
|
|
ill of me."
|
|
|
|
"Oh no. My sister tells me I am always angry with people who do
|
|
not say just what I like. But I hope I am not given to think ill
|
|
of them. In the end I am usually obliged to think ill of myself.
|
|
for being so impatient."
|
|
|
|
"Still, you don't like me; I have made myself an unpleasant thought
|
|
to you."
|
|
|
|
"Not at all," said Dorothea, with the most open kindness.
|
|
"I like you very much."
|
|
|
|
Will was not quite contented, thinking that he would apparently have
|
|
been of more importance if he had been disliked. He said nothing,
|
|
but looked lull, not to say sulky.
|
|
|
|
"And I am quite interested to see what you will do," Dorothea went
|
|
on cheerfully. "I believe devoutly in a natural difference of vocation.
|
|
If it were not for that belief, I suppose I should be very narrow--
|
|
there are so many things, besides painting, that I am quite
|
|
ignorant of. You would hardly believe how little I have taken
|
|
in of music and literature, which you know so much of. I wonder
|
|
what your vocation will turn out to be: perhaps you will be a poet?"
|
|
|
|
"That depends. To be a poet is to have a soul so quick to discern
|
|
that no shade of quality escapes it, and so quick to feel,
|
|
that discernment is but a hand playing with finely ordered variety on
|
|
the chords of emotion--a soul in which knowledge passes instantaneously
|
|
into feeling, and feeling flashes back as a new organ of knowledge.
|
|
One may have that condition by fits only."
|
|
|
|
"But you leave out the poems," said Dorothea. "I think they are wanted
|
|
to complete the poet. I understand what you mean about knowledge
|
|
passing into feeling, for that seems to be just what I experience.
|
|
But I am sure I could never produce a poem."
|
|
|
|
"You ARE a poem--and that is to be the best part of a poet--
|
|
what makes up the poet's consciousness in his best moods," said Will,
|
|
showing such originality as we all share with the morning and the
|
|
spring-time and other endless renewals.
|
|
|
|
"I am very glad to hear it," said Dorothea, laughing out her words
|
|
in a bird-like modulation, and looking at Will with playful gratitude
|
|
in her eyes. "What very kind things you say to me!"
|
|
|
|
"I wish I could ever do anything that would be what you call kind--
|
|
that I could ever be of the slightest service to you I fear I shall
|
|
never have the opportunity." Will spoke with fervor.
|
|
|
|
"Oh yes," said Dorothea, cordially. "It will come; and I shall
|
|
remember how well you wish me. I quite hoped that we should be friends
|
|
when I first saw you--because of your relationship to Mr. Casaubon."
|
|
There was a certain liquid brightness in her eyes, and Will was
|
|
conscious that his own were obeying a law of nature and filling too.
|
|
The allusion to Mr. Casaubon would have spoiled all if anything at
|
|
that moment could have spoiled the subduing power, the sweet dignity,
|
|
of her noble unsuspicious inexperience.
|
|
|
|
"And there is one thing even now that you can do," said Dorothea, rising
|
|
and walking a little way under the strength of a recurring impulse.
|
|
"Promise me that you will not again, to any one, speak of that subject--
|
|
I mean about Mr. Casaubon's writings--I mean in that kind of way.
|
|
It was I who led to it. It was my fault. But promise me."
|
|
|
|
She had returned from her brief pacing and stood opposite Will,
|
|
looking gravely at him.
|
|
|
|
"Certainly, I will promise you," said Will, reddening however.
|
|
If he never said a cutting word about Mr. Casaubon again and left
|
|
off receiving favors from him, it would clearly be permissible
|
|
to hate him the more. The poet must know how to hate, says Goethe;
|
|
and Will was at least ready with that accomplishment. He said that he
|
|
must go now without waiting for Mr. Casaubon, whom he would come
|
|
to take leave of at the last moment. Dorothea gave him her hand,
|
|
and they exchanged a simple "Good-by."
|
|
|
|
But going out of the porte cochere he met Mr. Casaubon,
|
|
and that gentleman, expressing the best wishes for his cousin,
|
|
politely waived the pleasure of any further leave-taking on the morrow,
|
|
which would be sufficiently crowded with the preparations for departure.
|
|
|
|
"I have something to tell you about our cousin Mr. Ladislaw,
|
|
which I think will heighten your opinion of him," said Dorothea
|
|
to her husband in the coarse of the evening. She had mentioned
|
|
immediately on his entering that Will had just gone away, and would
|
|
come again, but Mr. Casaubon had said, "I met him outside, and we
|
|
made our final adieux, I believe," saying this with the air and tone
|
|
by which we imply that any subject, whether private or public,
|
|
does not interest us enough to wish for a further remark upon it.
|
|
So Dorothea had waited.
|
|
|
|
"What is that, my love?" said Mr Casaubon (he always said "my love"
|
|
when his manner was the coldest).
|
|
|
|
"He has made up his mind to leave off wandering at once, and to give up
|
|
his dependence on your generosity. He means soon to go back to England,
|
|
and work his own way. I thought you would consider that a good sign,"
|
|
said Dorothea, with an appealing look into her husband's neutral face.
|
|
|
|
"Did he mention the precise order of occupation to which he would
|
|
addict himself?"
|
|
|
|
"No. But he said that he felt the danger which lay for him
|
|
in your generosity. Of course he will write to you about it.
|
|
Do you not think better of him for his resolve?"
|
|
|
|
"I shall await his communication on the subject," said Mr. Casaubon.
|
|
|
|
"I told him I was sure that the thing you considered in all you did
|
|
for him was his own welfare. I remembered your goodness in what you
|
|
said about him when I first saw him at Lowick," said Dorothea,
|
|
putting her hand on her husband's
|
|
|
|
"I had a duty towards him," said Mr. Casaubon, laying his other
|
|
hand on Dorothea's in conscientious acceptance of her caress,
|
|
but with a glance which he could not hinder from being uneasy.
|
|
"The young man, I confess, is not otherwise an object of interest to me,
|
|
nor need we, I think, discuss his future course, which it is not ours
|
|
to determine beyond the limits which I have sufficiently indicated."
|
|
Dorothea did not mention Will again.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
BOOK III.
|
|
|
|
WAITING FOR DEATH.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XXIII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Your horses of the Sun," he said,
|
|
"And first-rate whip Apollo!
|
|
Whate'er they be, I'll eat my head,
|
|
But I will beat them hollow."
|
|
|
|
|
|
Fred Vincy, we have seen. had a debt on his mind, and though no
|
|
such immaterial burthen could depress that buoyant-hearted young
|
|
gentleman for many hours together, there were circumstances connected
|
|
with this debt which made the thought of it unusually importunate.
|
|
The creditor was Mr. Bambridge a horse-dealer of the neighborhood,
|
|
whose company was much sought in Middlemarch by young men understood
|
|
to be "addicted to pleasure." During the vacations Fred had naturally
|
|
required more amusements than he had ready money for, and Mr. Bambridge
|
|
had been accommodating enough not only to trust him for the hire
|
|
of horses and the accidental expense of ruining a fine hunter,
|
|
but also to make a small advance by which he might be able to meet some
|
|
losses at billiards. The total debt was a hundred and sixty pounds.
|
|
Bambridge was in no alarm about his money, being sure that young
|
|
Vincy had backers; but he had required something to show for it,
|
|
and Fred had at first given a bill with his own signature.
|
|
Three months later he had renewed this bill with the signature
|
|
of Caleb Garth. On both occasions Fred had felt confident that he
|
|
should meet the bill himself, having ample funds at disposal in
|
|
his own hopefulness. You will hardly demand that his confidence
|
|
should have a basis in external facts; such confidence, we know,
|
|
is something less coarse and materialistic: it is a comfortable
|
|
disposition leading us to expect that the wisdom of providence or
|
|
the folly of our friends, the mysteries of luck or the still greater
|
|
mystery of our high individual value in the universe, will bring
|
|
about agreeable issues, such as are consistent with our good taste
|
|
in costume, and our general preference for the best style of thing.
|
|
Fred felt sure that he should have a present from his uncle,
|
|
that he should have a run of luck, that by dint of "swapping" he
|
|
should gradually metamorphose a horse worth forty pounds into a horse
|
|
that would fetch a hundred at any moment--"judgment" being always
|
|
equivalent to an unspecified sum in hard cash. And in any case,
|
|
even supposing negations which only a morbid distrust could imagine,
|
|
Fred had always (at that time) his father's pocket as a last resource,
|
|
so that his assets of hopefulness had a sort of gorgeous superfluity
|
|
about them. Of what might be the capacity of his father's pocket,
|
|
Fred had only a vague notion: was not trade elastic?
|
|
And would not the deficiencies of one year be made up for by the
|
|
surplus of another? The Vincys lived in an easy profuse way,
|
|
not with any new ostentation, but according to the family habits
|
|
and traditions, so that the children had no standard of economy,
|
|
and the elder ones retained some of their infantine notion
|
|
that their father might pay for anything if he would. Mr. Vincy
|
|
himself had expensive Middlemarch habits--spent money on coursing,
|
|
on his cellar, and on dinner-giving, while mamma had those running
|
|
accounts with tradespeople, which give a cheerful sense of getting
|
|
everything one wants without any question of payment. But it was
|
|
in the nature of fathers, Fred knew, to bully one about expenses:
|
|
there was always a little storm over his extravagance if he had
|
|
to disclose a debt, and Fred disliked bad weather within doors.
|
|
He was too filial to be disrespectful to his father, and he
|
|
bore the thunder with the certainty that it was transient;
|
|
but in the mean time it was disagreeable to see his mother cry,
|
|
and also to be obliged to look sulky instead of having fun;
|
|
for Fred was so good-tempered that if he looked glum under scolding,
|
|
it was chiefly for propriety's sake. The easier course plainly,
|
|
was to renew the bill with a friend's signature. Why not? With the
|
|
superfluous securities of hope at his command, there was no reason why
|
|
he should not have increased other people's liabilities to any extent,
|
|
but for the fact that men whose names were good for anything
|
|
were usually pessimists, indisposed to believe that the universal
|
|
order of things would necessarily be agreeable to an agreeable
|
|
young gentleman.
|
|
|
|
With a favor to ask we review our list of friends, do justice
|
|
to their more amiable qualities, forgive their little offenses,
|
|
and concerning each in turn, try to arrive at the conclusion that he
|
|
will be eager to oblige us, our own eagerness to be obliged being
|
|
as communicable as other warmth. Still there is always a certain
|
|
number who are dismissed as but moderately eager until the others
|
|
have refused; and it happened that Fred checked off all his friends
|
|
but one, on the ground that applying to them would be disagreeable;
|
|
being implicitly convinced that he at least (whatever might be
|
|
maintained about mankind generally) had a right to be free from
|
|
anything disagreeable. That he should ever fall into a thoroughly
|
|
unpleasant position--wear trousers shrunk with washing, eat cold mutton,
|
|
have to walk for want of a horse, or to "duck under" in any sort
|
|
of way--was an absurdity irreconcilable with those cheerful
|
|
intuitions implanted in him by nature. And Fred winced under the
|
|
idea of being looked down upon as wanting funds for small debts.
|
|
Thus it came to pass that the friend whom he chose to apply
|
|
to was at once the poorest and the kindest--namely, Caleb Garth.
|
|
|
|
The Garths were very fond of Fred, as he was of them; for when he
|
|
and Rosamond were little ones, and the Garths were better off,
|
|
the slight connection between the two families through
|
|
Mr. Featherstone's double marriage (the first to Mr. Garth's sister,
|
|
and the second to Mrs. Vincy's) had led to an acquaintance which
|
|
was carried on between the children rather than the parents:
|
|
the children drank tea together out of their toy teacups, and spent
|
|
whole days together in play. Mary was a little hoyden, and Fred
|
|
at six years old thought her the nicest girl in the world making
|
|
her his wife with a brass ring which he had cut from an umbrella.
|
|
Through all the stages of his education he had kept his affection
|
|
for the Garths, and his habit of going to their house as a second
|
|
home, though any intercourse between them and the elders of his
|
|
family had long ceased. Even when Caleb Garth was prosperous,
|
|
the Vincys were on condescending terms with him and his wife,
|
|
for there were nice distinctions of rank in Middlemarch; and though
|
|
old manufacturers could not any more than dukes be connected
|
|
with none but equals, they were conscious of an inherent social
|
|
superiority which was defined with great nicety in practice,
|
|
though hardly expressible theoretically. Since then Mr. Garth
|
|
had failed in the building business, which he had unfortunately
|
|
added to his other avocations of surveyor, valuer, and agent,
|
|
had conducted that business for a time entirely for the benefit of
|
|
his assignees, and had been living narrowly, exerting himself to the
|
|
utmost that he might after all pay twenty shillings in the pound.
|
|
He had now achieved this, and from all who did not think it
|
|
a bad precedent, his honorable exertions had won him due esteem;
|
|
but in no part of the world is genteel visiting founded on esteem,
|
|
in the absence of suitable furniture and complete dinner-service.
|
|
Mrs. Vincy had never been at her ease with Mrs. Garth, and frequently
|
|
spoke of her as a woman who had had to work for her bread--
|
|
meaning that Mrs. Garth had been a teacher before her marriage;
|
|
in which case an intimacy with Lindley Murray and Mangnall's Questions
|
|
was something like a draper's discrimination of calico trademarks,
|
|
or a courier's acquaintance with foreign countries: no woman
|
|
who was better off needed that sort of thing. And since Mary had
|
|
been keeping Mr. Featherstone's house, Mrs. Vincy's want of liking
|
|
for the Garths had been converted into something more positive,
|
|
by alarm lest Fred should engage himself to this plain girl,
|
|
whose parents "lived in such a small way." Fred, being aware of this,
|
|
never spoke at home of his visits to Mrs. Garth, which had of late
|
|
become more frequent, the increasing ardor of his affection
|
|
for Mary inclining him the more towards those who belonged to her.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Garth had a small office in the town, and to this Fred went
|
|
with his request. He obtained it without much difficulty,
|
|
for a large amount of painful experience had not sufficed to make
|
|
Caleb Garth cautious about his own affairs, or distrustful of his
|
|
fellow-men when they had not proved themselves untrustworthy;
|
|
and he had the highest opinion of Fred, was "sure the lad
|
|
would turn out well--an open affectionate fellow, with a good
|
|
bottom to his character--you might trust him for anything."
|
|
Such was Caleb's psychological argument. He was one of those
|
|
rare men who are rigid to themselves and indulgent to others.
|
|
He had a certain shame about his neighbors' errors, and never spoke
|
|
of them willingly; hence he was not likely to divert his mind
|
|
from the best mode of hardening timber and other ingenious devices
|
|
in order to preconceive those errors. If he had to blame any one,
|
|
it was necessary for him to move all the papers within his reach,
|
|
or describe various diagrams with his stick, or make calculations
|
|
with the odd money in his pocket, before he could begin; and he
|
|
would rather do other men's work than find fault with their doing.
|
|
I fear he was a bad disciplinarian.
|
|
|
|
When Fred stated the circumstances of his debt, his wish to meet it
|
|
without troubling his father, and the certainty that the money would
|
|
be forthcoming so as to cause no one any inconvenience, Caleb pushed
|
|
his spectacles upward, listened, looked into his favorite's clear
|
|
young eyes, and believed him, not distinguishing confidence about
|
|
the future from veracity about the past; but he felt that it was an
|
|
occasion for a friendly hint as to conduct, and that before giving
|
|
his signature he must give a rather strong admonition. Accordingly,
|
|
he took the paper and lowered his spectacles, measured the space at
|
|
his command, reached his pen and examined it, dipped it in the ink
|
|
and examined it again, then pushed the paper a little way from him,
|
|
lifted up his spectacles again, showed a deepened depression in the
|
|
outer angle of his bushy eyebrows, which gave his face a peculiar
|
|
mildness (pardon these details for once--you would have learned to
|
|
love them if you had known Caleb Garth), and said in a comfortable tone--
|
|
|
|
"It was a misfortune, eh, that breaking the horse's knees?
|
|
And then, these exchanges, they don't answer when you have 'cute
|
|
jockeys to deal with. You'll be wiser another time, my boy."
|
|
|
|
Whereupon Caleb drew down his spectacles, and proceeded to write
|
|
his signature with the care which he always gave to that performance;
|
|
for whatever he did in the way of business he did well.
|
|
He contemplated the large well-proportioned letters and final flourish,
|
|
with his head a trifle on one side for an instant, then handed it
|
|
to Fred, said "Good-by," and returned forthwith to his absorption
|
|
in a plan for Sir James Chettam's new farm-buildings.
|
|
|
|
Either because his interest in this work thrust the incident of
|
|
the signature from his memory, or for some reason of which Caleb
|
|
was more conscious, Mrs. Garth remained ignorant of the affair.
|
|
|
|
Since it occurred, a change had come over Fred's sky, which altered his
|
|
view of the distance, and was the reason why his uncle Featherstone's
|
|
present of money was of importance enough to make his color come
|
|
and go, first with a too definite expectation, and afterwards with a
|
|
proportionate disappointment. His failure in passing his examination,
|
|
had made his accumulation of college debts the more unpardonable
|
|
by his father, and there had been an unprecedented storm at home.
|
|
Mr. Vincy had sworn that if he had anything more of that sort to put
|
|
up with, Fred should turn out and get his living how he could;
|
|
and he had never yet quite recovered his good-humored tone to his son,
|
|
who had especially enraged him by saying at this stage of things
|
|
that he did not want to be a clergyman, and would rather not "go
|
|
on with that." Fred was conscious that he would have been yet more
|
|
severely dealt with if his family as well as himself had not secretly
|
|
regarded him as Mr. Featherstone's heir; that old gentleman's pride
|
|
in him, and apparent fondness for him, serving in the stead of more
|
|
exemplary conduct--just as when a youthful nobleman steals jewellery
|
|
we call the act kleptomania, speak of it with a philosophical smile,
|
|
and never think of his being sent to the house of correction as if he
|
|
were a ragged boy who had stolen turnips. In fact, tacit expectations
|
|
of what would be done for him by uncle Featherstone determined
|
|
the angle at which most people viewed Fred Vincy in Middlemarch;
|
|
and in his own consciousness, what uncle Featherstone would do for him
|
|
in an emergency, or what he would do simply as an incorporated luck,
|
|
formed always an immeasurable depth of aerial perspective. But that
|
|
present of bank-notes, once made, was measurable, and being applied
|
|
to the amount of the debt, showed a deficit which had still to be
|
|
filled up either by Fred's "judgment" or by luck in some other shape.
|
|
For that little episode of the alleged borrowing, in which he had
|
|
made his father the agent in getting the Bulstrode certificate,
|
|
was a new reason against going to his father for money towards meeting
|
|
his actual debt. Fred was keen enough to foresee that anger would
|
|
confuse distinctions, and that his denial of having borrowed expressly
|
|
on the strength of his uncle's will would be taken as a falsehood.
|
|
He had gone to his father and told him one vexatious affair,
|
|
and he had left another untold: in such cases the complete
|
|
revelation always produces the impression of a previous duplicity.
|
|
Now Fred piqued himself on keeping clear of lies, and even fibs;
|
|
he often shrugged his shoulders and made a significant grimace at
|
|
what he called Rosamond's fibs (it is only brothers who can associate
|
|
such ideas with a lovely girl); and rather than incur the accusation
|
|
of falsehood he would even incur some trouble and self-restraint.
|
|
It was under strong inward pressure of this kind that Fred had taken
|
|
the wise step of depositing the eighty pounds with his mother.
|
|
It was a pity that he had not at once given them to Mr. Garth;
|
|
but he meant to make the sum complete with another sixty, and with a
|
|
view to this, he had kept twenty pounds in his own pocket as a sort
|
|
of seed-corn, which, planted by judgment, and watered by luck,
|
|
might yield more than threefold--a very poor rate of multiplication
|
|
when the field is a young gentleman's infinite soul, with all the
|
|
numerals at command.
|
|
|
|
Fred was not a gambler: he had not that specific disease in which the
|
|
suspension of the whole nervous energy on a chance or risk becomes
|
|
as necessary as the dram to the drunkard; he had only the tendency
|
|
to that diffusive form of gambling which has no alcoholic intensity,
|
|
but is carried on with the healthiest chyle-fed blood, keeping up
|
|
a joyous imaginative activity which fashions events according
|
|
to desire, and having no fears about its own weather, only sees
|
|
the advantage there must be to others in going aboard with it.
|
|
Hopefulness has a pleasure in making a throw of any kind,
|
|
because the prospect of success is certain; and only a more generous
|
|
pleasure in offering as many as possible a share in the stake.
|
|
Fred liked play, especially billiards, as he liked hunting or riding
|
|
a steeple-chase; and he only liked it the better because he wanted
|
|
money and hoped to win. But the twenty pounds' worth of seed-corn
|
|
had been planted in vain in the seductive green plot--all of it at
|
|
least which had not been dispersed by the roadside--and Fred found
|
|
himself close upon the term of payment with no money at command
|
|
beyond the eighty pounds which he had deposited with his mother.
|
|
The broken-winded horse which he rode represented a present which
|
|
had been made to him a long while ago by his uncle Featherstone:
|
|
his father always allowed him to keep a horse, Mr. Vincy's own
|
|
habits making him regard this as a reasonable demand even for a son
|
|
who was rather exasperating. This horse, then, was Fred's property,
|
|
and in his anxiety to meet the imminent bill he determined to sacrifice
|
|
a possession without which life would certainly be worth little.
|
|
He made the resolution with a sense of heroism--heroism forced on him
|
|
by the dread of breaking his word to Mr. Garth, by his love for Mary
|
|
and awe of her opinion. He would start for Houndsley horse-fair
|
|
which was to be held the next morning, and--simply sell his horse,
|
|
bringing back the money by coach?--Well, the horse would hardly
|
|
fetch more than thirty pounds, and there was no knowing what
|
|
might happen; it would be folly to balk himself of luck beforehand.
|
|
It was a hundred to one that some good chance would fall in his way;
|
|
the longer he thought of it, the less possible it seemed that he
|
|
should not have a good chance, and the less reasonable that he should
|
|
not equip himself with the powder and shot for bringing it down.
|
|
He would ride to Houndsley with Bambridge and with Horrock "the vet,"
|
|
and without asking them anything expressly, he should virtually get
|
|
the benefit of their opinion. Before he set out, Fred got the eighty
|
|
pounds from his mother.
|
|
|
|
Most of those who saw Fred riding out of Middlemarch in company
|
|
with Bambridge and Horrock, on his way of course to Houndsley
|
|
horse-fair, thought that young Vincy was pleasure-seeking as usual;
|
|
and but for an unwonted consciousness of grave matters on hand,
|
|
he himself would have had a sense of dissipation, and of doing
|
|
what might be expected of a gay young fellow. Considering that Fred
|
|
was not at all coarse, that he rather looked down on the manners
|
|
and speech of young men who had not been to the university,
|
|
and that he had written stanzas as pastoral and unvoluptuous
|
|
as his flute-playing, his attraction towards Bambridge and Horrock
|
|
was an interesting fact which even the love of horse-flesh would
|
|
not wholly account for without that mysterious influence of Naming
|
|
which determinates so much of mortal choice. Under any other name
|
|
than "pleasure" the society of Messieurs Bambridge and Horrock must
|
|
certainly have been regarded as monotonous; and to arrive with them
|
|
at Houndsley on a drizzling afternoon, to get down at the Red Lion
|
|
in a street shaded with coal-dust, and dine in a room furnished with
|
|
a dirt-enamelled map of the county, a bad portrait of an anonymous
|
|
horse in a stable, His Majesty George the Fourth with legs and cravat,
|
|
and various leaden spittoons, might have seemed a hard business,
|
|
but for the sustaining power of nomenclature which determined
|
|
that the pursuit of these things was "gay."
|
|
|
|
In Mr. Horrock there was certainly an apparent unfathomableness
|
|
which offered play to the imagination. Costume, at a glance,
|
|
gave him a thrilling association with horses (enough to specify
|
|
the hat-brim which took the slightest upward angle just to escape
|
|
the suspicion of bending downwards), and nature had given him
|
|
a face which by dint of Mongolian eyes, and a nose, mouth, and chin
|
|
seeming to follow his hat-brim in a moderate inclination upwards,
|
|
gave the effect of a subdued unchangeable sceptical smile,
|
|
of all expressions the most tyrannous over a susceptible mind,
|
|
and, when accompanied by adequate silence, likely to create the
|
|
reputation of an invincible understanding, an infinite fund of humor--
|
|
too dry to flow, and probably in a state of immovable crust,--
|
|
and a critical judgment which, if you could ever be fortunate
|
|
enough to know it, would be THE thing and no other. It is
|
|
a physiognomy seen in all vocations, but perhaps it has never been
|
|
more powerful over the youth of England than in a judge of horses.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Horrock, at a question from Fred about his horse's fetlock,
|
|
turned sideways in his saddle, and watched the horse's action for the
|
|
space of three minutes, then turned forward, twitched his own bridle,
|
|
and remained silent with a profile neither more nor less sceptical
|
|
than it had been.
|
|
|
|
The part thus played in dialogue by Mr. Horrock was terribly effective.
|
|
A mixture of passions was excited in Fred--a mad desire to thrash
|
|
Horrock's opinion into utterance, restrained by anxiety to retain
|
|
the advantage of his friendship. There was always the chance that
|
|
Horrock might say something quite invaluable at the right moment.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bambridge had more open manners, and appeared to give forth
|
|
his ideas without economy. He was loud, robust, and was sometimes
|
|
spoken of as being "given to indulgence"--chiefly in swearing,
|
|
drinking, and beating his wife. Some people who had lost by him
|
|
called him a vicious man; but he regarded horse-dealing as the finest
|
|
of the arts, and might have argued plausibly that it had nothing
|
|
to do with morality. He was undeniably a prosperous man, bore his
|
|
drinking better than others bore their moderation, and, on the whole,
|
|
flourished like the green bay-tree. But his range of conversation
|
|
was limited, and like the fine old tune, "Drops of brandy," gave you
|
|
after a while a sense of returning upon itself in a way that might
|
|
make weak heads dizzy. But a slight infusion of Mr. Bambridge was
|
|
felt to give tone and character to several circles in Middlemarch;
|
|
and he was a distinguished figure in the bar and billiard-room
|
|
at the Green Dragon. He knew some anecdotes about the heroes
|
|
of the turf, and various clever tricks of Marquesses and Viscounts
|
|
which seemed to prove that blood asserted its pre-eminence even
|
|
among black-legs; but the minute retentiveness of his memory was
|
|
chiefly shown about the horses he had himself bought and sold;
|
|
the number of miles they would trot you in no time without turning
|
|
a hair being, after the lapse of years, still a subject of passionate
|
|
asseveration, in which he would assist the imagination of his
|
|
hearers by solemnly swearing that they never saw anything like it.
|
|
In short, Mr. Bambridge was a man of pleasure and a gay companion.
|
|
|
|
Fred was subtle, and did not tell his friends that he was going
|
|
to Houndsley bent on selling his horse: he wished to get indirectly
|
|
at their genuine opinion of its value, not being aware that a
|
|
genuine opinion was the last thing likely to be extracted from
|
|
such eminent critics. It was not Mr. Bambridge's weakness to be
|
|
a gratuitous flatterer. He had never before been so much struck
|
|
with the fact that this unfortunate bay was a roarer to a degree
|
|
which required the roundest word for perdition to give you any idea of it.
|
|
|
|
"You made a bad hand at swapping when you went to anybody
|
|
but me, Vincy! Why, you never threw your leg across a finer
|
|
horse than that chestnut, and you gave him for this brute.
|
|
If you set him cantering, he goes on like twenty sawyers.
|
|
I never heard but one worse roarer in my life, and that was a roan:
|
|
it belonged to Pegwell, the corn-factor; he used to drive him in
|
|
his gig seven years ago, and he wanted me to take him, but I said,
|
|
`Thank you, Peg, I don't deal in wind-instruments.' That was what
|
|
I said. It went the round of the country, that joke did. But,
|
|
what the hell! the horse was a penny trumpet to that roarer of yours."
|
|
|
|
"Why, you said just now his was worse than mine," said Fred,
|
|
more irritable than usual.
|
|
|
|
"I said a lie, then," said Mr. Bambridge, emphatically. "There wasn't
|
|
a penny to choose between 'em."
|
|
|
|
Fred spurred his horse, and they trotted on a little way.
|
|
When they slackened again, Mr. Bambridge said--
|
|
|
|
"Not but what the roan was a better trotter than yours."
|
|
|
|
"I'm quite satisfied with his paces, I know," said Fred, who required
|
|
all the consciousness of being in gay company to support him;
|
|
"I say his trot is an uncommonly clean one, eh, Horrock?"
|
|
|
|
Mr. Horrock looked before him with as complete a neutrality as if he
|
|
had been a portrait by a great master.
|
|
|
|
Fred gave up the fallacious hope of getting a genuine opinion;
|
|
but on reflection he saw that Bambridge's depreciation and Horrock's
|
|
silence were both virtually encouraging, and indicated that they
|
|
thought better of the horse than they chose to say.
|
|
|
|
That very evening, indeed, before the fair had set in, Fred thought
|
|
he saw a favorable opening for disposing advantageously of his horse,
|
|
but an opening which made him congratulate himself on his
|
|
foresight in bringing with him his eighty pounds. A young farmer,
|
|
acquainted with Mr. Bambridge, came into the Red Lion, and entered
|
|
into conversation about parting with a hunter, which he introduced
|
|
at once as Diamond, implying that it was a public character.
|
|
For himself he only wanted a useful hack, which would draw upon occasion;
|
|
being about to marry and to give up hunting. The hunter was in
|
|
a friend's stable at some little distance; there was still time
|
|
for gentlemen to see it before dark. The friend's stable had to be
|
|
reached through a back street where you might as easily have been
|
|
poisoned without expense of drugs as in any grim street of that
|
|
unsanitary period. Fred was not fortified against disgust by brandy,
|
|
as his companions were, but the hope of having at last seen the horse
|
|
that would enable him to make money was exhilarating enough to lead
|
|
him over the same ground again the first thing in the morning.
|
|
He felt sure that if he did not come to a bargain with the farmer,
|
|
Bambridge would; for the stress of circumstances, Fred felt,
|
|
was sharpening his acuteness and endowing him with all the
|
|
constructive power of suspicion. Bambridge had run down Diamond
|
|
in a way that he never would have done (the horse being a friend's)
|
|
if he had not thought of buying it; every one who looked at
|
|
the animal--even Horrock--was evidently impressed with its merit.
|
|
To get all the advantage of being with men of this sort, you must
|
|
know how to draw your inferences, and not be a spoon who takes
|
|
things literally. The color of the horse was a dappled gray,
|
|
and Fred happened to know that Lord Medlicote's man was on the look-out
|
|
for just such a horse. After all his running down, Bambridge let
|
|
it out in the course of the evening, when the farmer was absent,
|
|
that he had seen worse horses go for eighty pounds. Of course he
|
|
contradicted himself twenty times over, but when you know what is
|
|
likely to be true you can test a man's admissions. And Fred could
|
|
not but reckon his own judgment of a horse as worth something.
|
|
The farmer had paused over Fred's respectable though broken-winded
|
|
steed long enough to show that he thought it worth consideration,
|
|
and it seemed probable that he would take it, with five-and-twenty
|
|
pounds in addition, as the equivalent of Diamond. In that case Fred,
|
|
when he had parted with his new horse for at least eighty pounds,
|
|
would be fifty-five pounds in pocket by the transaction, and would
|
|
have a hundred and thirty-five pounds towards meeting the bill;
|
|
so that the deficit temporarily thrown on Mr. Garth would at
|
|
the utmost be twenty-five pounds. By the time he was hurrying
|
|
on his clothes in the morning, he saw so clearly the importance
|
|
of not losing this rare chance, that if Bambridge and Horrock had
|
|
both dissuaded him, he would not have been deluded into a direct
|
|
interpretation of their purpose: he would have been aware that those
|
|
deep hands held something else than a young fellow's interest.
|
|
With regard to horses, distrust was your only clew. But scepticism,
|
|
as we know, can never be thoroughly applied, else life would come
|
|
to a standstill: something we must believe in and do, and whatever
|
|
that something may be called, it is virtually our own judgment,
|
|
even when it seems like the most slavish reliance on another.
|
|
Fred believed in the excellence of his bargain, and even before
|
|
the fair had well set in, had got possession of the dappled gray,
|
|
at the price of his old horse and thirty pounds in addition--only five
|
|
pounds more than he had expected to give.
|
|
|
|
But he felt a little worried and wearied, perhaps with mental debate,
|
|
and without waiting for the further gayeties of the horse-fair, he
|
|
set out alone on his fourteen miles' journey, meaning to take it
|
|
very quietly and keep his horse fresh.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XXIV.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"The offender's sorrow brings but small relief
|
|
To him who wears the strong offence's cross."
|
|
--SHAKESPEARE: Sonnets.
|
|
|
|
|
|
I am sorry to say that only the third day after the propitious
|
|
events at Houndsley Fred Vincy had fallen into worse spirits than he
|
|
had known in his life before. Not that he had been disappointed
|
|
as to the possible market for his horse, but that before the bargain
|
|
could be concluded with Lord Medlicote's man, this Diamond,
|
|
in which hope to the amount of eighty pounds had been invested,
|
|
had without the slightest warning exhibited in the stable a most
|
|
vicious energy in kicking, had just missed killing the groom,
|
|
and had ended in laming himself severely by catching his leg in
|
|
a rope that overhung the stable-board. There was no more redress
|
|
for this than for the discovery of bad temper after marriage--
|
|
which of course old companions were aware of before the ceremony.
|
|
For some reason or other, Fred had none of his usual elasticity
|
|
under this stroke of ill-fortune: he was simply aware that he
|
|
had only fifty pounds, that there was no chance of his getting
|
|
any more at present, and that the bill for a hundred and sixty
|
|
would be presented in five days. Even if he had applied to his
|
|
father on the plea that Mr. Garth should be saved from loss,
|
|
Fred felt smartingly that his father would angrily refuse to rescue
|
|
Mr. Garth from the consequence of what he would call encouraging
|
|
extravagance and deceit. He was so utterly downcast that he could
|
|
frame no other project than to go straight to Mr. Garth and tell
|
|
him the sad truth, carrying with him the fifty pounds, and getting
|
|
that sum at least safely out of his own hands. His father, being at
|
|
the warehouse, did not yet know of the accident: when he did,
|
|
he would storm about the vicious brute being brought into his stable;
|
|
and before meeting that lesser annoyance Fred wanted to get away
|
|
with all his courage to face the greater. He took his father's nag,
|
|
for he had made up his mind that when he had told Mr. Garth,
|
|
he would ride to Stone Court and confess all to Mary. In fact,
|
|
it is probable that but for Mary's existence and Fred's love for her,
|
|
his conscience would hare been much less active both in previously
|
|
urging the debt on his thought and impelling him not to spare
|
|
himself after his usual fashion by deferring an unpleasant task,
|
|
but to act as directly and simply as he could. Even much stronger
|
|
mortals than Fred Vincy hold half their rectitude in the mind of the
|
|
being they love best. "The theatre of all my actions is fallen,"
|
|
said an antique personage when his chief friend was dead; and they
|
|
are fortunate who get a theatre where the audience demands their best.
|
|
Certainly it would have made a considerable difference to Fred at that
|
|
time if Mary Garth had had no decided notions as to what was admirable
|
|
in character.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Garth was not at the office, and Fred rode on to his house,
|
|
which was a little way outside the town--a homely place with an orchard
|
|
in front of it, a rambling, old-fashioned, half-timbered building,
|
|
which before the town had spread had been a farm-house, but was
|
|
now surrounded with the private gardens of the townsmen. We get
|
|
the fonder of our houses if they have a physiognomy of their own,
|
|
as our friends have. The Garth family, which was rather a large one,
|
|
for Mary had four brothers and one sister, were very fond of their
|
|
old house, from which all the best furniture had long been sold.
|
|
Fred liked it too, knowing it by heart even to the attic which smelt
|
|
deliciously of apples and quinces, and until to-day he had never come
|
|
to it without pleasant expectations; but his heart beat uneasily now
|
|
with the sense that he should probably have to make his confession before
|
|
Mrs. Garth, of whom he was rather more in awe than of her husband.
|
|
Not that she was inclined to sarcasm and to impulsive sallies,
|
|
as Mary was. In her present matronly age at least, Mrs. Garth
|
|
never committed herself by over-hasty speech; having, as she said,
|
|
borne the yoke in her youth, and learned self-control. She had that
|
|
rare sense which discerns what is unalterable, and submits to it
|
|
without murmuring. Adoring her husband's virtues, she had very early
|
|
made up her mind to his incapacity of minding his own interests,
|
|
and had met the consequences cheerfully. She had been magnanimous
|
|
enough to renounce all pride in teapots or children's frilling,
|
|
and had never poured any pathetic confidences into the ears
|
|
of her feminine neighbors concerning Mr. Garth's want of prudence
|
|
and the sums he might have had if he had been like other men.
|
|
Hence these fair neighbors thought her either proud or eccentric,
|
|
and sometimes spoke of her to their husbands as "your fine Mrs. Garth."
|
|
She was not without her criticism of them in return, being more
|
|
accurately instructed than most matrons in Middlemarch, and--where is
|
|
the blameless woman?--apt to be a little severe towards her own sex,
|
|
which in her opinion was framed to be entirely subordinate.
|
|
On the other hand, she was disproportionately indulgent towards
|
|
the failings of men, and was often heard to say that these
|
|
were natural. Also, it must be admitted that Mrs. Garth was a trifle
|
|
too emphatic in her resistance to what she held to be follies:
|
|
the passage from governess into housewife had wrought itself a
|
|
little too strongly into her consciousness, and she rarely forgot
|
|
that while her grammar and accent were above the town standard,
|
|
she wore a plain cap, cooked the family dinner, and darned all
|
|
the stockings. She had sometimes taken pupils in a peripatetic fashion,
|
|
making them follow her about in the kitchen with their book or slate.
|
|
She thought it good for them to see that she could make an excellent
|
|
lather while she corrected their blunders "without looking,"--
|
|
that a woman with her sleeves tucked up above her elbows might know
|
|
all about the Subjunctive Mood or the Torrid Zone--that, in short,
|
|
she might possess "education" and other good things ending in
|
|
"tion," and worthy to be pronounced emphatically, without being
|
|
a useless doll. When she made remarks to this edifying effect,
|
|
she had a firm little frown on her brow, which yet did not hinder
|
|
her face from looking benevolent, and her words which came forth
|
|
like a procession were uttered in a fervid agreeable contralto.
|
|
Certainly, the exemplary Mrs. Garth had her droll aspects, but her
|
|
character sustained her oddities, as a very fine wine sustains
|
|
a flavor of skin.
|
|
|
|
Towards Fred Vincy she had a motherly feeling, and had always been
|
|
disposed to excuse his errors, though she would probably not have
|
|
excused Mary for engaging herself to him, her daughter being included
|
|
in that more rigorous judgment which she applied to her own sex.
|
|
But this very fact of her exceptional indulgence towards him made it
|
|
the harder to Fred that he must now inevitably sink in her opinion.
|
|
And the circumstances of his visit turned out to be still more
|
|
unpleasant than he had expected; for Caleb Garth had gone out early
|
|
to look at some repairs not far off. Mrs. Garth at certain hours was
|
|
always in the kitchen, and this morning she was carrying on several
|
|
occupations at once there--making her pies at the well-scoured deal
|
|
table on one side of that airy room, observing Sally's movements
|
|
at the oven and dough-tub through an open door, and giving
|
|
lessons to her youngest boy and girl, who were standing opposite
|
|
to her at the table with their books and slates before them.
|
|
A tub and a clothes-horse at the other end of the kitchen indicated
|
|
an intermittent wash of small things also going on.
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Garth, with her sleeves turned above her elbows, deftly handling
|
|
her pastry--applying her rolling-pin and giving ornamental pinches,
|
|
while she expounded with grammatical fervor what were the right
|
|
views about the concord of verbs and pronouns with "nouns of
|
|
multitude or signifying many," was a sight agreeably amusing.
|
|
She was of the same curly-haired, square-faced type as Mary,
|
|
but handsomer, with more delicacy of feature, a pale skin,
|
|
a solid matronly figure, and a remarkable firmness of glance.
|
|
In her snowy-frilled cap she reminded one of that delightful
|
|
Frenchwoman whom we have all seen marketing, basket on arm.
|
|
Looking at the mother, you might hope that the daughter would become
|
|
like her, which is a prospective advantage equal to a dowry--the mother
|
|
too often standing behind the daughter like a malignant prophecy--
|
|
"Such as I am, she will shortly be."
|
|
|
|
"Now let us go through that once more," said Mrs. Garth,
|
|
pinching an apple-puff which seemed to distract Ben, an energetic
|
|
young male with a heavy brow, from due attention to the lesson.
|
|
"`Not without regard to the import of the word as conveying unity
|
|
or plurality of idea'--tell me again what that means, Ben."
|
|
|
|
(Mrs. Garth, like more celebrated educators, had her favorite
|
|
ancient paths, and in a general wreck of society would have tried
|
|
to hold her "Lindley Murray" above the waves.)
|
|
|
|
"Oh--it means--you must think what you mean," said Ben, rather peevishly.
|
|
"I hate grammar. What's the use of it?"
|
|
|
|
"To teach you to speak and write correctly, so that you can
|
|
be understood," said Mrs. Garth, with severe precision.
|
|
"Should you like to speak as old Job does?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Ben, stoutly; "it's funnier. He says, `Yo goo'--
|
|
that's just as good as `You go.'"
|
|
|
|
"But he says, `A ship's in the garden,' instead of `a sheep,'"
|
|
said Letty, with an air of superiority. "You might think he meant
|
|
a ship off the sea."
|
|
|
|
"No, you mightn't, if you weren't silly," said Ben. "How could
|
|
a ship off the sea come there?"
|
|
|
|
"These things belong only to pronunciation, which is the least part
|
|
of grammar," said Mrs. Garth. "That apple-peel is to be eaten by
|
|
the pigs, Ben; if you eat it, I must give them your piece of pasty.
|
|
Job has only to speak about very plain things. How do you think
|
|
you would write or speak about anything more difficult, if you
|
|
knew no more of grammar than he does? You would use wrong words,
|
|
and put words in the wrong places, and instead of making people
|
|
understand you, they would turn away from you as a tiresome person.
|
|
What would you do then?"
|
|
|
|
"I shouldn't care, I should leave off," said Ben, with a sense
|
|
that this was an agreeable issue where grammar was concerned.
|
|
|
|
"I see you are getting tired and stupid, Ben," said Mrs. Garth,
|
|
accustomed to these obstructive arguments from her male offspring.
|
|
Having finished her pies, she moved towards the clothes-horse,
|
|
and said, "Come here and tell me the story I told you on Wednesday,
|
|
about Cincinnatus."
|
|
|
|
"I know! he was a farmer," said Ben.
|
|
|
|
"Now, Ben, he was a Roman--let ME tell," said Letty, using her
|
|
elbow contentiously.
|
|
|
|
"You silly thing, he was a Roman farmer, and he was ploughing."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, but before that--that didn't come first--people wanted him,"
|
|
said Letty.
|
|
|
|
"Well, but you must say what sort of a man he was first,"
|
|
insisted Ben. "He was a wise man, like my father, and that made
|
|
the people want his advice. And he was a brave man, and could fight.
|
|
And so could my father--couldn't he, mother?"
|
|
|
|
"Now, Ben, let me tell the story straight on, as mother told it us,"
|
|
said Letty, frowning. "Please, mother, tell Ben not to speak."
|
|
|
|
"Letty, I am ashamed of you," said her mother, wringing out the
|
|
caps from the tub. "When your brother began, you ought to have
|
|
waited to see if he could not tell the story. How rude you look,
|
|
pushing and frowning, as if you wanted to conquer with your elbows!
|
|
Cincinnatus, I am sure, would have been sorry to see his daughter
|
|
behave so." (Mrs. Garth delivered this awful sentence with much
|
|
majesty of enunciation, and Letty felt that between repressed
|
|
volubility and general disesteem, that of the Romans inclusive,
|
|
life was already a painful affair.) "Now, Ben."
|
|
|
|
"Well--oh--well--why, there was a great deal of fighting, and they
|
|
were all blockheads, and--I can't tell it just how you told it--
|
|
but they wanted a man to be captain and king and everything--"
|
|
|
|
"Dictator, now," said Letty, with injured looks, and not without
|
|
a wish to make her mother repent.
|
|
|
|
"Very well, dictator!" said Ben, contemptuously. "But that isn't
|
|
a good word: he didn't tell them to write on slates."
|
|
|
|
"Come, come, Ben, you are not so ignorant as that," said Mrs. Garth,
|
|
carefully serious. "Hark, there is a knock at the door! Run, Letty,
|
|
and open it."
|
|
|
|
The knock was Fred's; and when Letty said that her father was not in
|
|
yet, but that her mother was in the kitchen, Fred had no alternative.
|
|
He could not depart from his usual practice of going to see
|
|
Mrs. Garth in the kitchen if she happened to be at work there.
|
|
He put his arm round Letty's neck silently, and led her into
|
|
the kitchen without his usual jokes and caresses.
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Garth was surprised to see Fred at this hour, but surprise
|
|
was not a feeling that she was given to express, and she only said,
|
|
quietly continuing her work--
|
|
|
|
"You, Fred, so early in the day? You look quite pale.
|
|
Has anything happened?"
|
|
|
|
"I want to speak to Mr. Garth," said Fred, not yet ready to say more--
|
|
"and to you also," he added, after a little pause, for he had no
|
|
doubt that Mrs. Garth knew everything about the bill, and he must
|
|
in the end speak of it before her, if not to her solely.
|
|
|
|
"Caleb will be in again in a few minutes," said Mrs. Garth, who imagined
|
|
some trouble between Fred and his father. "He is sure not to be long,
|
|
because he has some work at his desk that must be done this morning.
|
|
Do you mind staying with me, while I finish my matters here?"
|
|
|
|
"But we needn't go on about Cincinnatus, need we?" said Ben,
|
|
who had taken Fred's whip out of his hand, and was trying its
|
|
efficiency on the eat.
|
|
|
|
"No, go out now. But put that whip down. How very mean of you
|
|
to whip poor old Tortoise! Pray take the whip from him, Fred."
|
|
|
|
"Come, old boy, give it me," said Fred, putting out his hand.
|
|
|
|
"Will you let me ride on your horse to-day?" said Ben, rendering up
|
|
the whip, with an air of not being obliged to do it.
|
|
|
|
"Not to-day--another time. I am not riding my own horse."
|
|
|
|
"Shall you see Mary to-day?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I think so," said Fred, with an unpleasant twinge.
|
|
|
|
"Tell her to come home soon, and play at forfeits, and make fun."
|
|
|
|
"Enough, enough, Ben! run away," said Mrs. Garth, seeing that Fred
|
|
was teased. . .
|
|
|
|
"Are Letty and Ben your only pupils now, Mrs. Garth?" said Fred,
|
|
when the children were gone and it was needful to say something
|
|
that would pass the time. He was not yet sure whether he should
|
|
wait for Mr. Garth, or use any good opportunity in conversation
|
|
to confess to Mrs. Garth herself, give her the money and ride away.
|
|
|
|
"One--only one. Fanny Hackbutt comes at half past eleven.
|
|
I am not getting a great income now," said Mrs. Garth, smiling.
|
|
"I am at a low ebb with pupils. But I have saved my little
|
|
purse for Alfred's premium: I have ninety-two pounds.
|
|
He can go to Mr. Hanmer's now; he is just at the right age."
|
|
|
|
This did not lead well towards the news that Mr. Garth was on
|
|
the brink of losing ninety-two pounds and more. Fred was silent.
|
|
"Young gentlemen who go to college are rather more costly than that,"
|
|
Mrs. Garth innocently continued, pulling out the edging on a cap-border.
|
|
"And Caleb thinks that Alfred will turn out a distinguished engineer:
|
|
he wants to give the boy a good chance. There he is! I hear him
|
|
coming in. We will go to him in the parlor, shall we?"
|
|
|
|
When they entered the parlor Caleb had thrown down his hat and was
|
|
seated at his desk.
|
|
|
|
"What! Fred, my boy!" he said, in a tone of mild surprise, holding his
|
|
pen still undipped; "you are here betimes." But missing the usual
|
|
expression of cheerful greeting in Fred's face, he immediately added,
|
|
"Is there anything up at home?--anything the matter?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, Mr. Garth, I am come to tell something that I am afraid will
|
|
give you a bad opinion of me. I am come to tell you and Mrs. Garth
|
|
that I can't keep my word. I can't find the money to meet the bill
|
|
after all. I have been unfortunate; I have only got these fifty
|
|
pounds towards the hundred and sixty."
|
|
|
|
While Fred was speaking, he had taken out the notes and laid them
|
|
on the desk before Mr. Garth. He had burst forth at once with the
|
|
plain fact, feeling boyishly miserable and without verbal resources.
|
|
Mrs. Garth was mutely astonished, and looked at her husband for
|
|
an explanation. Caleb blushed, and after a little pause said--
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I didn't tell you, Susan: I put my name to a bill for Fred;
|
|
it was for a hundred and sixty pounds. He made sure he could meet
|
|
it himself."
|
|
|
|
There was an evident change in Mrs. Garth's face, but it was
|
|
like a change below the surface of water which remains smooth.
|
|
She fixed her eyes on Fred, saying--
|
|
|
|
"I suppose you have asked your father for the rest of the money
|
|
and he has refused you."
|
|
|
|
"No," said Fred, biting his lip, and speaking with more difficulty;
|
|
"but I know it will be of no use to ask him; and unless it were of use,
|
|
I should not like to mention Mr. Garth's name in the matter."
|
|
|
|
"It has come at an unfortunate time," said Caleb, in his hesitating way,
|
|
looking down at the notes and nervously fingering the paper,
|
|
"Christmas upon us--I'm rather hard up just now. You see, I have
|
|
to cut out everything like a tailor with short measure. What can
|
|
we do, Susan? I shall want every farthing we have in the bank.
|
|
It's a hundred and ten pounds, the deuce take it!"
|
|
|
|
"I must give you the ninety-two pounds that I have put by for
|
|
Alfred's premium," said Mrs. Garth, gravely and decisively,
|
|
though a nice ear might have discerned a slight tremor in some
|
|
of the words. "And I have no doubt that Mary has twenty pounds
|
|
saved from her salary by this time. She will advance it."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Garth had not again looked at Fred, and was not in the least
|
|
calculating what words she should use to cut him the most effectively.
|
|
Like the eccentric woman she was, she was at present absorbed in
|
|
considering what was to be done, and did not fancy that the end could
|
|
be better achieved by bitter remarks or explosions. But she had made
|
|
Fred feel for the first time something like the tooth of remorse.
|
|
Curiously enough, his pain in the affair beforehand had consisted
|
|
almost entirely in the sense that he must seem dishonorable,
|
|
and sink in the opinion of the Garths: he had not occupied
|
|
himself with the inconvenience and possible injury that his breach
|
|
might occasion them, for this exercise of the imagination on
|
|
other people's needs is not common with hopeful young gentlemen.
|
|
Indeed we are most of us brought up in the notion that the highest
|
|
motive for not doing a wrong is something irrespective of the beings
|
|
who would suffer the wrong. But at this moment he suddenly saw
|
|
himself as a pitiful rascal who was robbing two women of their savings.
|
|
|
|
"I shall certainly pay it all, Mrs. Garth--ultimately," he stammered out.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, ultimately," said Mrs. Garth, who having a special dislike
|
|
to fine words on ugly occasions, could not now repress an epigram.
|
|
"But boys cannot well be apprenticed ultimately: they should be
|
|
apprenticed at fifteen." She had never been so little inclined
|
|
to make excuses for Fred.
|
|
|
|
"I was the most in the wrong, Susan," said Caleb. "Fred made sure
|
|
of finding the money. But I'd no business to be fingering bills.
|
|
I suppose you have looked all round and tried all honest means?"
|
|
he added, fixing his merciful gray eyes on Fred. Caleb was too delicate,
|
|
to specify Mr. Featherstone.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I have tried everything--I really have. I should have had
|
|
a hundred and thirty pounds ready but for a misfortune with a horse
|
|
which I was about to sell. My uncle had given me eighty pounds,
|
|
and I paid away thirty with my old horse in order to get another which I
|
|
was going to sell for eighty or more--I meant to go without a horse--
|
|
but now it has turned out vicious and lamed itself. I wish I and the
|
|
horses too had been at the devil, before I had brought this on you.
|
|
There's no one else I care so much for: you and Mrs. Garth have
|
|
always been so kind to me. However, it's no use saying that.
|
|
You will always think me a rascal now."
|
|
|
|
Fred turned round and hurried out of the room, conscious that he
|
|
was getting rather womanish, and feeling confusedly that his being
|
|
sorry was not of much use to the Garths. They could see him mount,
|
|
and quickly pass through the gate.
|
|
|
|
"I am disappointed in Fred Vincy," said Mrs. Garth. "I would not have
|
|
believed beforehand that he would have drawn you into his debts.
|
|
I knew he was extravagant, but I did not think that he would
|
|
be so mean as to hang his risks on his oldest friend, who could
|
|
the least afford to lose."
|
|
|
|
"I was a fool, Susan:"
|
|
|
|
"That you were," said the wife, nodding and smiling. "But I
|
|
should not have gone to publish it in the market-place. Why should
|
|
you keep such things from me? It is just so with your buttons:
|
|
you let them burst off without telling me, and go out with your
|
|
wristband hanging. If I had only known I might have been ready
|
|
with some better plan."
|
|
|
|
"You are sadly cut up, I know, Susan," said Caleb, looking feelingly
|
|
at her. "I can't abide your losing the money you've scraped
|
|
together for Alfred."
|
|
|
|
"It is very well that I HAD scraped it together; and it is you
|
|
who will have to suffer, for you must teach the boy yourself.
|
|
You must give up your bad habits. Some men take to drinking,
|
|
and you have taken to working without pay. You must indulge yourself
|
|
a little less in that. And you must ride over to Mary, and ask the
|
|
child what money she has."
|
|
|
|
Caleb had pushed his chair back, and was leaning forward, shaking his
|
|
head slowly, and fitting his finger-tips together with much nicety.
|
|
|
|
"Poor Mary!" he said. "Susan," he went on in a lowered tone,
|
|
"I'm afraid she may be fond of Fred."
|
|
|
|
"Oh no! She always laughs at him; and he is not likely to think
|
|
of her in any other than a brotherly way."
|
|
|
|
Caleb made no rejoinder, but presently lowered his spectacles,
|
|
drew up his chair to the desk, and said, "Deuce take the bill--
|
|
I wish it was at Hanover! These things are a sad interruption
|
|
to business!"
|
|
|
|
The first part of this speech comprised his whole store of maledictory
|
|
expression, and was uttered with a slight snarl easy to imagine.
|
|
But it would be difficult to convey to those who never heard him
|
|
utter the word "business," the peculiar tone of fervid veneration,
|
|
of religious regard, in which he wrapped it, as a consecrated
|
|
symbol is wrapped in its gold-fringed linen.
|
|
|
|
Caleb Garth often shook his head in meditation on the value,
|
|
the indispensable might of that myriad-headed, myriad-handed labor
|
|
by which the social body is fed, clothed, and housed. It had laid
|
|
hold of his imagination in boyhood. The echoes of the great hammer
|
|
where roof or keel were a-making, the signal-shouts of the workmen,
|
|
the roar of the furnace, the thunder and plash of the engine,
|
|
were a sublime music to him; the felling and lading of timber,
|
|
and the huge trunk vibrating star-like in the distance along
|
|
the highway, the crane at work on the wharf, the piled-up produce
|
|
in warehouses, the precision and variety of muscular effort
|
|
wherever exact work had to be turned out,--all these sights of his
|
|
youth had acted on him as poetry without the aid of the poets.
|
|
had made a philosophy for him without the aid of philosophers,
|
|
a religion without the aid of theology. His early ambition had been
|
|
to have as effective a share as possible in this sublime labor,
|
|
which was peculiarly dignified by him with the name of "business;"
|
|
and though he had only been a short time under a surveyor, and had been
|
|
chiefly his own teacher, he knew more of land, building, and mining
|
|
than most of the special men in the county.
|
|
|
|
His classification of human employments was rather crude, and, like the
|
|
categories of more celebrated men, would not be acceptable in these
|
|
advanced times. He divided them into "business, politics, preaching,
|
|
learning, and amusement." He had nothing to say against the last four;
|
|
but he regarded them as a reverential pagan regarded other gods
|
|
than his own. In the same way, he thought very well of all ranks,
|
|
but he would not himself have liked to be of any rank in which he
|
|
had not such close contact with "business" as to get often honorably
|
|
decorated with marks of dust and mortar, the damp of the engine,
|
|
or the sweet soil of the woods and fields. Though he had never
|
|
regarded himself as other than an orthodox Christian, and would argue
|
|
on prevenient grace if the subject were proposed to him, I think
|
|
his virtual divinities were good practical schemes, accurate work,
|
|
and the faithful completion of undertakings: his prince of darkness
|
|
was a slack workman. But there was no spirit of denial in Caleb,
|
|
and the world seemed so wondrous to him that he was ready to accept
|
|
any number of systems, like any number of firmaments, if they did
|
|
not obviously interfere with the best land-drainage, solid building,
|
|
correct measuring, and judicious boring (for coal). In fact, he had
|
|
a reverential soul with a strong practical intelligence. But he could
|
|
not manage finance: he knew values well, but he had no keenness
|
|
of imagination for monetary results in the shape of profit and loss:
|
|
and having ascertained this to his cost, he determined to give up
|
|
all forms of his beloved "business" which required that talent.
|
|
He gave himself up entirely to the many kinds of work which he could
|
|
do without handling capital, and was one of those precious men within
|
|
his own district whom everybody would choose to work for them,
|
|
because he did his work well, charged very little, and often declined
|
|
to charge at all. It is no wonder, then, that the Garths were poor,
|
|
and "lived in a small way." However, they did not mind it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XXV.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Love seeketh not itself to please,
|
|
Nor for itself hath any care
|
|
But for another gives its ease
|
|
And builds a heaven in hell's despair.
|
|
. . . . . . .
|
|
Love seeketh only self to please,
|
|
To bind another to its delight,
|
|
Joys in another's loss of ease,
|
|
And builds a hell in heaven's despite."
|
|
--W. BLAKE: Songs of Experience
|
|
|
|
|
|
Fred Vincy wanted to arrive at Stone Court when Mary could not
|
|
expect him, and when his uncle was not down-stairs in that case
|
|
she might be sitting alone in the wainscoted parlor. He left his
|
|
horse in the yard to avoid making a noise on the gravel in front,
|
|
and entered the parlor without other notice than the noise of the
|
|
door-handle. Mary was in her usual corner, laughing over Mrs. Piozzi's
|
|
recollections of Johnson, and looked up with the fun still in her face.
|
|
It gradually faded as she saw Fred approach her without speaking,
|
|
and stand before her with his elbow on the mantel-piece, looking ill.
|
|
She too was silent, only raising her eyes to him inquiringly.
|
|
|
|
"Mary," he began, "I am a good-for-nothing blackguard."
|
|
|
|
"I should think one of those epithets would do at a time," said Mary,
|
|
trying to smile, but feeling alarmed.
|
|
|
|
"I know you will never think well of me any more. You will think
|
|
me a liar. You will think me dishonest. You will think I didn't
|
|
care for you, or your father and mother. You always do make
|
|
the worst of me, I know."
|
|
|
|
"I cannot deny that I shall think all that of you, Fred, if you give
|
|
me good reasons. But please to tell me at once what you have done.
|
|
I would rather know the painful truth than imagine it."
|
|
|
|
"I owed money--a hundred and sixty pounds. I asked your father to put
|
|
his name to a bill. I thought it would not signify to him. I made
|
|
sure of paying the money myself, and I have tried as hard as I could.
|
|
And now, I have been so unlucky--a horse has turned out badly--
|
|
I can only pay fifty pounds. And I can't ask my father for the money:
|
|
he would not give me a farthing. And my uncle gave me a hundred a
|
|
little while ago. So what can I do? And now your father has no ready
|
|
money to spare, and your mother will have to pay away her ninety-two
|
|
pounds that she has saved, and she says your savings must go too.
|
|
You see what a--"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, poor mother, poor father!" said Mary, her eyes filling
|
|
with tears, and a little sob rising which she tried to repress.
|
|
She looked straight before her and took no notice of Fred,
|
|
all the consequences at home becoming present to her. He too
|
|
remained silent for some moments, feeling more miserable than ever.
|
|
"I wouldn't have hurt you for the world, Mary," he said at last.
|
|
"You can never forgive me."
|
|
|
|
"What does it matter whether I forgive you?" said Mary, passionately.
|
|
"Would that make it any better for my mother to lose the money
|
|
she has been earning by lessons for four years, that she might
|
|
send Alfred to Mr. Hanmer's? Should you think all that pleasant
|
|
enough if I forgave you?"
|
|
|
|
"Say what you like, Mary. I deserve it all."
|
|
|
|
"I don't want to say anything," said Mary, more quietly, "and my
|
|
anger is of no use." She dried her eyes, threw aside her book,
|
|
rose and fetched her sewing.
|
|
|
|
Fred followed her with his eyes, hoping that they would meet hers,
|
|
and in that way find access for his imploring penitence. But no!
|
|
Mary could easily avoid looking upward.
|
|
|
|
"I do care about your mother's money going," he said, when she
|
|
was seated again and sewing quickly. "I wanted to ask you, Mary--
|
|
don't you think that Mr. Featherstone--if you were to tell him--
|
|
tell him, I mean, about apprenticing Alfred--would advance the money?"
|
|
|
|
"My family is not fond of begging, Fred. We would rather work for
|
|
our money. Besides, you say that Mr. Featherstone has lately given
|
|
you a hundred pounds. He rarely makes presents; he has never made
|
|
presents to us. I am sure my father will not ask him for anything;
|
|
and even if I chose to beg of him, it would be of no use."
|
|
|
|
"I am so miserable, Mary--if you knew how miserable I am, you would
|
|
be sorry for me."
|
|
|
|
"There are other things to be more sorry for than that. But selfish
|
|
people always think their own discomfort of more importance than
|
|
anything else in the world. I see enough of that every day."
|
|
|
|
"It is hardly fair to call me selfish. If you knew what things
|
|
other young men do, you would think me a good way off the worst."
|
|
|
|
"I know that people who spend a great deal of money on
|
|
themselves without knowing how they shall pay, must be selfish.
|
|
They are always thinking of what they can get for themselves,
|
|
and not of what other people may lose."
|
|
|
|
"Any man may be unfortunate, Mary, and find himself unable to pay
|
|
when he meant it. There is not a better man in the world than
|
|
your father, and yet he got into trouble."
|
|
|
|
"How dare you make any comparison between my father and you, Fred?"
|
|
said Mary, in a deep tone of indignation. "He never got into
|
|
trouble by thinking of his own idle pleasures, but because he
|
|
was always thinking of the work he was doing for other people.
|
|
And he has fared hard, and worked hard to make good everybody's loss."
|
|
|
|
"And you think that I shall never try to make good anything, Mary.
|
|
It is not generous to believe the worst of a man. When you have
|
|
got any power over him, I think you might try and use it to make
|
|
him better i but that is what you never do. However, I'm going,"
|
|
Fred ended, languidly. "I shall never speak to you about anything again.
|
|
I'm very sorry for all the trouble I've caused--that's all."
|
|
|
|
Mary had dropped her work out of her hand and looked up.
|
|
There is often something maternal even in a girlish love, and Mary's
|
|
hard experience had wrought her nature to an impressibility very
|
|
different from that hard slight thing which we call girlishness.
|
|
At Fred's last words she felt an instantaneous pang, something like
|
|
what a mother feels at the imagined sobs or cries of her naughty
|
|
truant child, which may lose itself and get harm. And when,
|
|
looking up, her eyes met his dull despairing glance, her pity
|
|
for him surmounted her anger and all her other anxieties.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, Fred, how ill you look! Sit down a moment. Don't go yet.
|
|
Let me tell uncle that you are here. He has been wondering that
|
|
he has not seen you for a whole week." Mary spoke hurriedly,
|
|
saying the words that came first without knowing very well what
|
|
they were, but saying them in a half-soothing half-beseeching tone,
|
|
and rising as if to go away to Mr. Featherstone. Of course Fred
|
|
felt as if the clouds had parted and a gleam had come: he moved
|
|
and stood in her way.
|
|
|
|
"Say one word, Mary, and I will do anything. Say you will not think
|
|
the worst of me--will not give me up altogether."
|
|
|
|
"As if it were any pleasure to me to think ill of you," said Mary,
|
|
in a mournful tone. "As if it were not very painful to me to see you
|
|
an idle frivolous creature. How can you bear to be so contemptible,
|
|
when others are working and striving, and there are so many things
|
|
to be done--how can you bear to be fit for nothing in the world
|
|
that is useful? And with so much good in your disposition, Fred,--
|
|
you might be worth a great deal."
|
|
|
|
"I will try to be anything you like, Mary, if you will say that you
|
|
love me."
|
|
|
|
"I should be ashamed to say that I loved a man who must always be
|
|
hanging on others, and reckoning on what they would do for him.
|
|
What will you be when you are forty? Like Mr. Bowyer, I suppose--
|
|
just as idle, living in Mrs. Beck's front parlor--fat and shabby,
|
|
hoping somebody will invite you to dinner--spending your morning in
|
|
learning a comic song--oh no! learning a tune on the flute."
|
|
|
|
Mary's lips had begun to curl with a smile as soon as she had
|
|
asked that question about Fred's future (young souls are mobile),
|
|
and before she ended, her face had its full illumination of fun.
|
|
To him it was like the cessation of an ache that Mary could laugh
|
|
at him, and with a passive sort of smile he tried to reach her hand;
|
|
but she slipped away quickly towards the door and said, "I shall
|
|
tell uncle. You MUST see him for a moment or two."
|
|
|
|
Fred secretly felt that his future was guaranteed against the
|
|
fulfilment of Mary's sarcastic prophecies, apart from that "anything"
|
|
which he was ready to do if she would define it He never dared
|
|
in Mary's presence to approach the subject of his expectations from
|
|
Mr. Featherstone, and she always ignored them, as if everything
|
|
depended on himself. But if ever he actually came into the property,
|
|
she must recognize the change in his position. All this passed through
|
|
his mind somewhat languidly, before he went up to see his uncle.
|
|
He stayed but a little while, excusing himself on the ground that he
|
|
had a cold; and Mary did not reappear before he left the house.
|
|
But as he rode home, he began to be more conscious of being ill,
|
|
than of being melancholy.
|
|
|
|
When Caleb Garth arrived at Stone Court soon after dusk, Mary was
|
|
not surprised, although he seldom had leisure for paying her a visit,
|
|
and was not at all fond of having to talk with Mr. Featherstone.
|
|
The old man, on the other hand, felt himself ill at ease with a
|
|
brother-in-law whom he could not annoy, who did not mind about
|
|
being considered poor, had nothing to ask of him, and understood
|
|
all kinds of farming and mining business better than he did.
|
|
But Mary had felt sure that her parents would want to see her,
|
|
and if her father had not come, she would have obtained leave to go
|
|
home for an hour or two the next day. After discussing prices during
|
|
tea with Mr. Featherstone Caleb rose to bid him good-by, and said,
|
|
"I want to speak to you, Mary."
|
|
|
|
She took a candle into another large parlor, where there was no fire,
|
|
and setting down the feeble light on the dark mahogany table,
|
|
turned round to her father, and putting her arms round his neck kissed
|
|
him with childish kisses which he delighted in,--the expression
|
|
of his large brows softening as the expression of a great beautiful
|
|
dog softens when it is caressed. Mary was his favorite child,
|
|
and whatever Susan might say, and right as she was on all other subjects,
|
|
Caleb thought it natural that Fred or any one else should think
|
|
Mary more lovable than other girls.
|
|
|
|
"I've got something to tell you, my dear," said Caleb in his
|
|
hesitating way. "No very good news; but then it might be worse."
|
|
|
|
"About money, father? I think I know what it is."
|
|
|
|
"Ay? how can that be? You see, I've been a bit of a fool again,
|
|
and put my name to a bill, and now it comes to paying; and your mother
|
|
has got to part with her savings, that's the worst of it, and even they
|
|
won't quite make things even. We wanted a hundred and ten pounds:
|
|
your mother has ninety-two, and I have none to spare in the bank;
|
|
and she thinks that you have some savings."
|
|
|
|
"Oh yes; I have more than four-and-twenty pounds. I thought you
|
|
would come, father, so I put it in my bag. See! beautiful white
|
|
notes and gold."
|
|
|
|
Mary took out the folded money from her reticule and put it into
|
|
her father's hand.
|
|
|
|
"Well, but how--we only want eighteen--here, put the rest back,
|
|
child,--but how did you know about it?" said Caleb, who, in his
|
|
unconquerable indifference to money, was beginning to be chiefly
|
|
concerned about the relation the affair might have to Mary's affections.
|
|
|
|
"Fred told me this morning."
|
|
|
|
"Ah! Did he come on purpose?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I think so. He was a good deal distressed."
|
|
|
|
"I'm afraid Fred is not to be trusted, Mary," said the father,
|
|
with hesitating tenderness. "He means better than he acts, perhaps.
|
|
But I should think it a pity for any body's happiness to be wrapped
|
|
up in him, and so would your mother."
|
|
|
|
"And so should I, father," said Mary, not looking up, but putting
|
|
the back of her father's hand against her cheek.
|
|
|
|
"I don't want to pry, my dear. But I was afraid there might be
|
|
something between you and Fred, and I wanted to caution you.
|
|
You see, Mary"--here Caleb's voice became more tender; he had been
|
|
pushing his hat about on the table and looking at it, but finally he
|
|
turned his eyes on his daughter--"a woman, let her be as good as
|
|
she may, has got to put up with the life her husband makes for her.
|
|
Your mother has had to put up with a good deal because of me."
|
|
|
|
Mary turned the back of her father's hand to her lips and smiled
|
|
at him.
|
|
|
|
"Well, well, nobody's perfect, but"--here Mr. Garth shook his head
|
|
to help out the inadequacy of words--"what I am thinking of is--
|
|
what it must be for a wife when she's never sure of her husband,
|
|
when he hasn't got a principle in him to make him more afraid of doing
|
|
the wrong thing by others than of getting his own toes pinched.
|
|
That's the long and the short of it, Mary. Young folks may get fond
|
|
of each other before they know what life is, and they may think
|
|
it all holiday if they can only get together; but it soon turns
|
|
into working day, my dear. However, you have more sense than most,
|
|
and you haven't been kept in cotton-wool: there may be no occasion
|
|
for me to say this, but a father trembles for his daughter, and you are
|
|
all by yourself here."
|
|
|
|
"Don't fear for me, father," said Mary, gravely meeting
|
|
her father's eyes; "Fred has always been very good to me;
|
|
he is kind-hearted and affectionate, and not false, I think,
|
|
with all his self-indulgence. But I will never engage myself
|
|
to one who has no manly independence, and who goes on loitering
|
|
away his time on the chance that others will provide for him.
|
|
You and my mother have taught me too much pride for that."
|
|
|
|
"That's right--that's right. Then I am easy," said Mr. Garth,
|
|
taking up his {hat or bet. ????} But it's hard to run away with
|
|
your earnings, eh child."
|
|
|
|
"Father!" said Mary, in her deepest tone of remonstrance.
|
|
"Take pocketfuls of love besides to them all at home," was her
|
|
last word before he closed the outer door on himself.
|
|
|
|
"I suppose your father wanted your earnings," said old Mr. Featherstone,
|
|
with his usual power of unpleasant surmise, when Mary returned
|
|
to him. "He makes but a tight fit, I reckon. You're of age now;
|
|
you ought to be saving for yourself."
|
|
|
|
"I consider my father and mother the best part of myself, sir,"
|
|
said Mary, coldly.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Featherstone grunted: he could not deny that an ordinary sort
|
|
of girl like her might be expected to be useful, so he thought
|
|
of another rejoinder, disagreeable enough to be always apropos.
|
|
"If Fred Vincy comes to-morrow, now, don't you keep him chattering:
|
|
let him come up to me."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XXVI.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"He beats me and I rail at him: O worthy satisfaction! would it
|
|
were otherwise--that I could beat him while he railed at me.--"
|
|
--Troilus and Cressida.
|
|
|
|
|
|
But Fred did not go to Stone Court the next day, for reasons that
|
|
were quite peremptory. From those visits to unsanitary Houndsley
|
|
streets in search of Diamond, he had brought back not only a bad
|
|
bargain in horse-flesh, but the further misfortune of some ailment
|
|
which for a day or two had deemed mere depression and headache,
|
|
but which got so much worse when he returned from his visit to Stone
|
|
Court that, going into the dining-room, he threw himself on the sofa,
|
|
and in answer to his mother's anxious question, said, "I feel very ill:
|
|
I think you must send for Wrench."
|
|
|
|
Wrench came, but did not apprehend anything serious, spoke of a
|
|
"slight derangement," and did not speak of coming again on the morrow.
|
|
He had a due value for the Vincys' house, but the wariest men are apt
|
|
to be dulled by routine, and on worried mornings will sometimes go
|
|
through their business with the zest of the daily bell-ringer.
|
|
Mr. Wrench was a small, neat, bilious man, with a well-dressed wig:
|
|
he had a laborious practice, an irascible temper, a lymphatic wife
|
|
and seven children; and he was already rather late before setting out
|
|
on a four-miles drive to meet Dr. Minchin on the other side of Tipton,
|
|
the decease of Hicks, a rural practitioner, having increased Middlemarch
|
|
practice in that direction. Great statesmen err, and why not small
|
|
medical men? Mr. Wrench did not neglect sending the usual white parcels,
|
|
which this time had black and drastic contents. Their effect was
|
|
not alleviating to poor Fred, who, however, unwilling as he said
|
|
to believe that he was "in for an illness," rose at his usual easy
|
|
hour the next morning and went down-stairs meaning to breakfast,
|
|
but succeeded in nothing but in sitting and shivering by the fire.
|
|
Mr. Wrench was again sent for, but was gone on his rounds,
|
|
and Mrs. Vincy seeing her darling's changed looks and general misery,
|
|
began to cry and said she would send for Dr. Sprague.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, nonsense, mother! It's nothing," said Fred, putting out his
|
|
hot dry hand to her, "I shall soon be all right. I must have taken
|
|
cold in that nasty damp ride."
|
|
|
|
"Mamma!" said Rosamond, who was seated near the window (the
|
|
dining-room windows looked on that highly respectable street called
|
|
Lowick Gate), "there is Mr. Lydgate, stopping to speak to some one.
|
|
If I were you I would call him in. He has cured Ellen Bulstrode.
|
|
They say he cures every one."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Vincy sprang to the window and opened it in an instant,
|
|
thinking only of Fred and not of medical etiquette. Lydgate was
|
|
only two yards off on the other side of some iron palisading,
|
|
and turned round at the sudden sound of the sash, before she called
|
|
to him. In two minutes he was in the room, and Rosamond went out,
|
|
after waiting just long enough to show a pretty anxiety conflicting
|
|
with her sense of what was becoming.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate had to hear a narrative in which Mrs. Vincy's mind insisted
|
|
with remarkable instinct on every point of minor importance,
|
|
especially on what Mr. Wrench had said and had not said about
|
|
coming again. That there might be an awkward affair with Wrench,
|
|
Lydgate saw at once; but the ease was serious enough to make him
|
|
dismiss that consideration: he was convinced that Fred was in the
|
|
pink-skinned stage of typhoid fever, and that he had taken just
|
|
the wrong medicines. He must go to bed immediately, must have a
|
|
regular nurse, and various appliances and precautions must be used,
|
|
about which Lydgate was particular. Poor Mrs. Vincy's terror at these
|
|
indications of danger found vent in such words as came most easily.
|
|
She thought it "very ill usage on the part of Mr. Wrench, who had
|
|
attended their house so many years in preference to Mr. Peacock,
|
|
though Mr. Peacock was equally a friend. Why Mr. Wrench should
|
|
neglect her children more than others, she could not for the life
|
|
of her understand. He had not neglected Mrs. Larcher's when they had
|
|
the measles, nor indeed would Mrs. Vincy have wished that he should.
|
|
And if anything should happen--"
|
|
|
|
Here poor Mrs. Vincy's spirit quite broke down, and her Niobe throat
|
|
and good-humored face were sadly convulsed. This was in the hall
|
|
out of Fred's hearing, but Rosamond had opened the drawing-room door,
|
|
and now came forward anxiously. Lydgate apologized for Mr. Wrench,
|
|
said that the symptoms yesterday might have been disguising,
|
|
and that this form of fever was very equivocal in its beginnings:
|
|
he would go immediately to the druggist's and have a prescription
|
|
made up in order to lose no time, but he would write to Mr. Wrench
|
|
and tell him what had been done.
|
|
|
|
"But you must come again--you must go on attending Fred. I can't
|
|
have my boy left to anybody who may come or not. I bear nobody
|
|
ill-will, thank God, and Mr. Wrench saved me in the pleurisy,
|
|
but he'd better have let me die--if--if--"
|
|
|
|
"I will meet Mr. Wrench here, then, shall I?" said Lydgate,
|
|
really believing that Wrench was not well prepared to deal wisely
|
|
with a case of this kind.
|
|
|
|
"Pray make that arrangement, Mr. Lydgate," said Rosamond, coming to
|
|
her mother's aid, and supporting her arm to lead her away.
|
|
|
|
When Mr. Vincy came home he was very angry with Wrench, and did
|
|
not care if he never came into his house again. Lydgate should go
|
|
on now, whether Wrench liked it or not. It was no joke to have
|
|
fever in the house. Everybody must be sent to now, not to come
|
|
to dinner on Thursday. And Pritchard needn't get up any wine:
|
|
brandy was the best thing against infection. "I shall drink brandy,"
|
|
added Mr. Vincy, emphatically--as much as to say, this was not
|
|
an occasion for firing with blank-cartridges. "He's an uncommonly
|
|
unfortunate lad, is Fred. He'd need have--some luck by-and-by to make
|
|
up for all this--else I don't know who'd have an eldest son."
|
|
|
|
"Don't say so, Vincy," said the mother, with a quivering lip,
|
|
"if you don't want him to be taken from me."
|
|
|
|
"It will worret you to death, Lucy; THAT I can see," said Mr. Vincy,
|
|
more mildly. "However, Wrench shall know what I think of the matter."
|
|
(What Mr. Vincy thought confusedly was, that the fever might somehow
|
|
have been hindered if Wrench had shown the proper solicitude about his--
|
|
the Mayor's--family.) "I'm the last man to give in to the cry about
|
|
new doctors, or new parsons either--whether they're Bulstrode's
|
|
men or not. But Wrench shall know what I think, take it as he will."
|
|
|
|
Wrench did not take it at all well. Lydgate was as polite as he
|
|
could be in his offhand way, but politeness in a man who has
|
|
placed you at a disadvantage is only an additional exasperation,
|
|
especially if he happens to have been an object of dislike beforehand.
|
|
Country practitioners used to be an irritable species, susceptible on
|
|
the point of honor; and Mr. Wrench was one of the most irritable
|
|
among them. He did not refuse to meet Lydgate in the evening,
|
|
but his temper was somewhat tried on the occasion. He had to hear
|
|
Mrs. Vincy say--
|
|
|
|
"Oh, Mr. Wrench, what have I ever done that you should use me so?--
|
|
To go away, and never to come again! And my boy might have been
|
|
stretched a corpse!"
|
|
|
|
Mr. Vincy, who had been keeping up a sharp fire on the enemy Infection,
|
|
and was a good deal heated in consequence, started up when he heard
|
|
Wrench come in, and went into the hall to let him know what he thought.
|
|
|
|
"I'll tell you what, Wrench, this is beyond a joke," said the Mayor,
|
|
who of late had had to rebuke offenders with an official air,
|
|
and how broadened himself by putting his thumbs in his armholes.--
|
|
"To let fever get unawares into a house like this. There are
|
|
some things that ought to be actionable, and are not so--
|
|
that's my opinion."
|
|
|
|
But irrational reproaches were easier to bear than the sense of
|
|
being instructed, or rather the sense that a younger man, like Lydgate,
|
|
inwardly considered him in need of instruction, for "in point of fact,"
|
|
Mr. Wrench afterwards said, Lydgate paraded flighty, foreign notions,
|
|
which would not wear. He swallowed his ire for the moment,
|
|
but he afterwards wrote to decline further attendance in the case.
|
|
The house might be a good one, but Mr. Wrench was not going to truckle
|
|
to anybody on a professional matter. He reflected, with much probability
|
|
on his side, that Lydgate would by-and-by be caught tripping too,
|
|
and that his ungentlemanly attempts to discredit the sale of drugs
|
|
by his professional brethren, would by-and-by recoil on himself.
|
|
He threw out biting remarks on Lydgate's tricks, worthy only of a quack,
|
|
to get himself a factitious reputation with credulous people.
|
|
That cant about cures was never got up by sound practitioners.
|
|
|
|
This was a point on which Lydgate smarted as much as Wrench could desire.
|
|
To be puffed by ignorance was not only humiliating, but perilous,
|
|
and not more enviable than the reputation of the weather-prophet.
|
|
He was impatient of the foolish expectations amidst which all work
|
|
must be carried on, and likely enough to damage himself as much
|
|
as Mr. Wrench could wish, by an unprofessional openness.
|
|
|
|
However, Lydgate was installed as medical attendant on the Vincys,
|
|
and the event was a subject of general conversation in Middlemarch.
|
|
Some said, that the Vincys had behaved scandalously, that Mr. Vincy
|
|
had threatened Wrench, and that Mrs. Vincy had accused him of
|
|
poisoning her son. Others were of opinion that Mr. Lydgate's passing
|
|
by was providential, that he was wonderfully clever in fevers,
|
|
and that Bulstrode was in the right to bring him forward.
|
|
Many people believed that Lydgate's coming to the town at all was
|
|
really due to Bulstrode; and Mrs. Taft, who was always counting
|
|
stitches and gathered her information in misleading fragments
|
|
caught between the rows of her knitting, had got it into her head
|
|
that Mr. Lydgate was a natural son of Bulstrode's, a fact which
|
|
seemed to justify her suspicions of evangelical laymen.
|
|
|
|
She one day communicated this piece of knowledge to Mrs. Farebrother,
|
|
who did not fail to tell her son of it, observing--
|
|
|
|
"I should not be surprised at anything in Bulstrode, but I should
|
|
be sorry to think it of Mr. Lydgate."
|
|
|
|
"Why, mother," said Mr. Farebrother, after an explosive laugh,
|
|
"you know very well that Lydgate is of a good family in the North.
|
|
He never heard of Bulstrode before he came here."
|
|
|
|
"That is satisfactory so far as Mr. Lydgate is concerned, Camden,"
|
|
said the old lady, with an air of precision.--"But as to Bulstrode--
|
|
the report may be true of some other son."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XXVII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Let the high Muse chant loves Olympian:
|
|
We are but mortals, and must sing of man.
|
|
|
|
|
|
An eminent philosopher among my friends, who can dignify even your
|
|
ugly furniture by lifting it into the serene light of science,
|
|
has shown me this pregnant little fact. Your pier-glass or extensive
|
|
surface of polished steel made to be rubbed by a housemaid,
|
|
will be minutely and multitudinously scratched in all directions;
|
|
but place now against it a lighted candle as a centre of illumination,
|
|
and lo! the scratches will seem to arrange themselves in a fine
|
|
series of concentric circles round that little sun. It is
|
|
demonstrable that the scratches are going everywhere impartially
|
|
and it is only your candle which produces the flattering illusion
|
|
of a concentric arrangement, its light falling with an exclusive
|
|
optical selection. These things are a parable. The scratches
|
|
are events, and the candle is the egoism of any person now absent--
|
|
of Miss Vincy, for example. Rosamond had a Providence of her own
|
|
who had kindly made her more charming than other girls, and who
|
|
seemed to have arranged Fred's illness and Mr. Wrench's mistake
|
|
in order to bring her and Lydgate within effective proximity.
|
|
It would have been to contravene these arrangements if Rosamond
|
|
had consented to go away to Stone Court or elsewhere, as her
|
|
parents wished her to do, especially since Mr. Lydgate thought
|
|
the precaution needless. Therefore, while Miss Morgan and the
|
|
children were sent away to a farmhouse the morning after Fred's
|
|
illness had declared itself, Rosamond refused to leave papa and mamma.
|
|
|
|
Poor mamma indeed was an object to touch any creature born of woman;
|
|
and Mr. Vincy, who doted on his wife, was more alarmed on her
|
|
account than on Fred's. But for his insistence she would have
|
|
taken no rest: her brightness was all bedimmed; unconscious of
|
|
her costume which had always been se fresh and gay, she was like
|
|
a sick bird with languid eye and plumage ruffled, her senses
|
|
dulled to the sights and sounds that used most to interest her.
|
|
Fred's delirium, in which he seemed to be wandering out of her reach,
|
|
tore her heart. After her first outburst against-Mr. Wrench
|
|
she went about very quietly: her one low cry was to Lydgate.
|
|
She would follow him out of the room and put her hand on his arm
|
|
moaning out, "Save my boy." Once she pleaded, "He has always been
|
|
good to me, Mr. Lydgate: he never had a hard word for his mother,"--
|
|
as if poor Fred's suffering were an accusation against him.
|
|
All the deepest fibres of the mother's memory were stirred, and the
|
|
young man whose voice took a gentler tone when he spoke to her,
|
|
was one with the babe whom she had loved, with a love new to her,
|
|
before he was born.
|
|
|
|
"I have good hope, Mrs. Vincy," Lydgate would say. "Come down with
|
|
me and let us talk about the food." In that way he led her to the
|
|
parlor where Rosamond was, and made a change for her, surprising her
|
|
into taking some tea or broth which had been prepared for her.
|
|
There was a constant understanding between him and Rosamond on
|
|
these matters. He almost always saw her before going to the sickroom,
|
|
and she appealed to him as to what she could do for mamma.
|
|
Her presence of mind and adroitness in carrying out his hints
|
|
were admirable, and it is not wonderful that the idea of seeing
|
|
Rosamond began to mingle itself with his interest in the case.
|
|
Especially when the critical stage was passed, and he began to feel
|
|
confident of Fred's recovery. In the more doubtful time, he had
|
|
advised calling in Dr. Sprague (who, if he could, would rather have
|
|
remained neutral on Wrench's account); but after two consultations,
|
|
the conduct of the case was left to Lydgate, and there was every reason
|
|
to make him assiduous. Morning and evening he was at Mr. Vincy's,
|
|
and gradually the visits became cheerful as Fred became simply feeble,
|
|
and lay not only in need of the utmost petting but conscious of it,
|
|
so that Mrs. Vincy felt as if, after all, the illness had made
|
|
a festival for her tenderness.
|
|
|
|
Both father and mother held it an added reason for good spirits,
|
|
when old Mr. Featherstone sent messages by Lydgate, saying that
|
|
Fred-must make haste and get well, as he, Peter Featherstone,
|
|
could not do without him, and missed his visits sadly. The old
|
|
man himself was getting bedridden. Mrs. Vincy told these messages
|
|
to Fred when he could listen, and he turned towards her his delicate,
|
|
pinched face, from which all the thick blond hair had been cut away,
|
|
and in which the eyes seemed to have got larger, yearning for some
|
|
word about Mary--wondering what she felt about his illness.
|
|
No word passed his lips; but "to hear with eyes belongs to love's
|
|
rare wit," and the mother in the fulness of her heart not only
|
|
divined Fred's longing, but felt ready for any sacrifice in order
|
|
to satisfy him.
|
|
|
|
"If I can only see my boy strong again," she said, in her loving folly;
|
|
"and who knows?--perhaps master of Stone Court! and he can marry
|
|
anybody he likes then."
|
|
|
|
"Not if they won't have me, mother," said Fred. The illness had
|
|
made him childish, and tears came as he spoke.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, take a bit of jelly, my dear," said Mrs. Vincy,
|
|
secretly incredulous of any such refusal.
|
|
|
|
She never left Fred's side when her husband was not in the house,
|
|
and thus Rosamond was in the unusual position of being much alone.
|
|
Lydgate, naturally, never thought of staying long with her, yet it
|
|
seemed that the brief impersonal conversations they had together
|
|
were creating that peculiar intimacy which consists in shyness.
|
|
They were obliged to look at each other in speaking, and somehow the
|
|
looking could not be carried through as the matter of course which it
|
|
really was. Lydgate began to feel this sort of consciousness unpleasant
|
|
and one day looked down, or anywhere, like an ill-worked puppet.
|
|
But this turned out badly: the next day, Rosamond looked down,
|
|
and the consequence was that when their eyes met again, both were
|
|
more conscious than before. There was no help for this in science,
|
|
and as Lydgate did not want to flirt, there seemed to be no help
|
|
for it in folly. It was therefore a relief when neighbors no longer
|
|
considered the house in quarantine, and when the chances of seeing
|
|
Rosamond alone were very much reduced.
|
|
|
|
But that intimacy of mutual embarrassment, in which each feels
|
|
that the other is feeling something, having once existed,
|
|
its effect is not to be done away with. Talk about the weather
|
|
and other well-bred topics is apt to seem a hollow device,
|
|
and behavior can hardly become easy unless it frankly recognizes
|
|
a mutual fascination--which of course need not mean anything deep
|
|
or serious. This was the way in which Rosamond and Lydgate slid
|
|
gracefully into ease, and made their intercourse lively again.
|
|
Visitors came and went as usual, there was once more music in
|
|
the drawing-room, and all the extra hospitality of Mr. Vincy's
|
|
mayoralty returned. Lydgate, whenever he could, took his seat
|
|
by Rosamond's side, and lingered to hear her music, calling himself
|
|
her captive--meaning, all the while, not to be her captive.
|
|
The preposterousness of the notion that he could at once set up a
|
|
satisfactory establishment as a married man was a sufficient guarantee
|
|
against danger. This play at being a little in love was agreeable,
|
|
and did not interfere with graver pursuits. Flirtation, after all,
|
|
was not necessarily a singeing process. Rosamond, for her part,
|
|
had never enjoyed the days so much in her life before: she was sure
|
|
of being admired by some one worth captivating, and she did not
|
|
distinguish flirtation from love, either in herself or in another.
|
|
She seemed to be sailing with a fair wind just whither she would go,
|
|
and her thoughts were much occupied with a handsome house in
|
|
Lowick Gate which she hoped would by-and-by be vacant. She was
|
|
quite determined, when she was married, to rid herself adroitly
|
|
of all the visitors who were not agreeable to her at her father's;
|
|
and she imagined the drawing-room in her favorite house with various
|
|
styles of furniture.
|
|
|
|
Certainly her thoughts were much occupied with Lydgate himself;
|
|
he seemed to her almost perfect: if he had known his notes so that his
|
|
enchantment under her music had been less like an emotional elephant's,
|
|
and if he had been able to discriminate better the refinements of her
|
|
taste in dress, she could hardly have mentioned a deficiency in him.
|
|
How different he was from young Plymdale or Mr. Caius Larcher!
|
|
Those young men had not a notion of French, and could speak on
|
|
no subject with striking knowledge, except perhaps the dyeing
|
|
and carrying trades, which of course they were ashamed to mention;
|
|
they were Middlemarch gentry, elated with their silver-headed whips
|
|
and satin stocks, but embarrassed in their manners, and timidly jocose:
|
|
even Fred was above them, having at least the accent and manner
|
|
of a university man. Whereas Lydgate was always listened to,
|
|
bore himself with the careless politeness of conscious superiority,
|
|
and seemed to have the right clothes on by a certain natural affinity,
|
|
without ever having to think about them. Rosamond was proud when he
|
|
entered the room, and when he approached her with a distinguishing smile,
|
|
she had a delicious sense that she was the object of enviable homage.
|
|
If Lydgate had been aware of all the pride he excited in that
|
|
delicate bosom, he might have been just as well pleased as any
|
|
other man, even the most densely ignorant of humoral pathology
|
|
or fibrous tissue: he held it one of the prettiest attitudes of
|
|
the feminine mind to adore a man's pre-eminence without too precise
|
|
a knowledge of what it consisted in. But Rosamond was not one
|
|
of those helpless girls who betray themselves unawares, and whose
|
|
behavior is awkwardly driven by their impulses, instead of being
|
|
steered by wary grace and propriety. Do you imagine that her rapid
|
|
forecast and rumination concerning house-furniture and society
|
|
were ever discernible in her conversation, even with her mamma?
|
|
On the contrary, she would have expressed the prettiest surprise
|
|
and disapprobation if she had heard that another young lady had been
|
|
detected in that immodest prematureness--indeed, would probably
|
|
have disbelieved in its possibility. For Rosamond never showed
|
|
any unbecoming knowledge, and was always that combination of
|
|
correct sentiments, music, dancing, drawing, elegant note-writing,
|
|
private album for extracted verse, and perfect blond loveliness,
|
|
which made the irresistible woman for the doomed man of that date.
|
|
Think no unfair evil of her, pray: she had no wicked plots,
|
|
nothing sordid or mercenary; in fact, she never thought of money except
|
|
as something necessary which other people would always provide.
|
|
She was not in the habit of devising falsehoods, and if her statements
|
|
were no direct clew to fact, why, they were not intended in that light--
|
|
they were among her elegant accomplishments, intended to please.
|
|
Nature had inspired many arts in finishing Mrs. Lemon's favorite pupil,
|
|
who by general consent (Fred's excepted) was a rare compound
|
|
of beauty, cleverness, and amiability.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate found it more and more agreeable to be with her, and there
|
|
was no constraint now, there was a delightful interchange of influence
|
|
in their eyes, and what they said had that superfluity of meaning
|
|
for them, which is observable with some sense of flatness by a
|
|
third person; still they had no interviews or asides from which
|
|
a third person need have been excluded. In fact, they flirted;
|
|
and Lydgate was secure in the belief that they did nothing else.
|
|
If a man could not love and be wise, surely he could flirt
|
|
and be wise at the same time? Really, the men in Middlemarch,
|
|
except Mr. Farebrother, were great bores, and Lydgate did not care
|
|
about commercial politics or cards: what was he to do for relaxation?
|
|
He was often invited to the Bulstrodes'; but the girls there were
|
|
hardly out of the schoolroom; and Mrs. Bulstrode's NAIVE way
|
|
of conciliating piety and worldliness, the nothingness of this
|
|
life and the desirability of cut glass, the consciousness at once
|
|
of filthy rags and the best damask, was not a sufficient relief from
|
|
the weight of her husband's invariable seriousness. The Vincys'
|
|
house, with all its faults, was the pleasanter by contrast; besides,
|
|
it nourished Rosamond--sweet to look at as a half-opened blush-rose,
|
|
and adorned with accomplishments for the refined amusement of man.
|
|
|
|
But he made some enemies, other than medical, by his success with
|
|
Miss Vincy. One evening he came into the drawing-room rather late,
|
|
when several other visitors were there. The card-table had drawn
|
|
off the elders, and Mr. Ned Plymdale (one of the good matches
|
|
in Middlemarch, though not one of its leading minds) was in
|
|
tete-a-tete with Rosamond. He had brought the last "Keepsake,"
|
|
the gorgeous watered-silk publication which marked modern progress
|
|
at that time; and he considered himself very fortunate that he could
|
|
be the first to look over it with her, dwelling on the ladies and
|
|
gentlemen with shiny copper-plate cheeks and copper-plate smiles,
|
|
and pointing to comic verses as capital and sentimental stories
|
|
as interesting. Rosamond was gracious, and Mr. Ned was satisfied
|
|
that he had the very best thing in art and literature as a medium
|
|
for "paying addresses"--the very thing to please a nice girl.
|
|
He had also reasons, deep rather than ostensible, for being satisfied
|
|
with his own appearance. To superficial observers his chin had too
|
|
vanishing an aspect, looking as if it were being gradually reabsorbed.
|
|
And it did indeed cause him some difficulty about the fit of his
|
|
satin stocks, for which chins were at that time useful.
|
|
|
|
"I think the Honorable Mrs. S. is something like you," said Mr. Ned.
|
|
He kept the book open at the bewitching portrait, and looked at it
|
|
rather languishingly.
|
|
|
|
"Her back is very large; she seems to have sat for that,"
|
|
said Rosamond, not meaning any satire, but thinking how red young
|
|
Plymdale's hands were, and wondering why Lydgate did not come.
|
|
She went on with her tatting all the while.
|
|
|
|
"I did not say she was as beautiful as you are," said Mr. Ned,
|
|
venturing to look from the portrait to its rival.
|
|
|
|
"I suspect you of being an adroit flatterer," said Rosamond,
|
|
feeling sure that she should have to reject this young gentleman
|
|
a second time.
|
|
|
|
But now Lydgate came in; the book was closed before he reached
|
|
Rosamond's corner, and as he took his seat with easy confidence on
|
|
the other side of her, young Plymdale's jaw fell like a barometer
|
|
towards the cheerless side of change. Rosamond enjoyed not only
|
|
Lydgate's presence but its effect: she liked to excite jealousy.
|
|
|
|
"What a late comer you are!" she said, as they shook hands.
|
|
"Mamma had given you up a little while ago. How do you find Fred?"
|
|
|
|
"As usual; going on well, but slowly. I want him to go away--
|
|
to Stone Court, for example. But your mamma seems to have
|
|
some objection."
|
|
|
|
"Poor fellow!" said Rosamond, prettily. "You will see Fred
|
|
so changed," she added, turning to the other suitor; "we have
|
|
looked to Mr. Lydgate as our guardian angel during this illness."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Ned smiled nervously, while Lydgate, drawing the "Keepsake"
|
|
towards him and opening it, gave a short scornful laugh and tossed
|
|
up his chill, as if in wonderment at human folly.
|
|
|
|
"What are you laughing at so profanely?" said Rosamond,
|
|
with bland neutrality.
|
|
|
|
"I wonder which would turn out to be the silliest--the engravings
|
|
or the writing here," said Lydgate, in his most convinced tone,
|
|
while he turned over the pages quickly, seeming to see all through the
|
|
book in no time, and showing his large white hands to much advantage,
|
|
as Rosamond thought. "Do look at this bridegroom coming out of church:
|
|
did you ever see such a `sugared invention'--as the Elizabethans
|
|
used to say? Did any haberdasher ever look so smirking? Yet I
|
|
will answer for it the story makes him one of the first gentlemen
|
|
in the land."
|
|
|
|
"You are so severe, I am frightened at you," said Rosamond,
|
|
keeping her amusement duly moderate. Poor young Plymdale had lingered
|
|
with admiration over this very engraving, and his spirit was stirred.
|
|
|
|
"There are a great many celebrated people writing in the `Keepsake,'
|
|
at all events," he said, in a tone at once piqued and timid.
|
|
"This is the first time I have heard it called silly."
|
|
|
|
"I think I shall turn round on you and accuse you of being a Goth,"
|
|
said Rosamond, looking at Lydgate with a smile. "I suspect you
|
|
know nothing about Lady Blessington and L. E. L." Rosamond herself
|
|
was not without relish for these writers, but she did not readily
|
|
commit herself by admiration, and was alive to the slightest hint
|
|
that anything was not, according to Lydgate, in the very highest taste.
|
|
|
|
"But Sir Walter Scott--I suppose Mr. Lydgate knows him,"
|
|
said young Plymdale, a little cheered by this advantage.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I read no literature now," said Lydgate, shutting the book,
|
|
and pushing it away. "I read so much when I was a lad, that I
|
|
suppose it will last me all my life. I used to know Scott's poems
|
|
by heart."
|
|
|
|
"I should like to know when you left off," said Rosamond, "because
|
|
then I might be sure that I knew something which you did not know."
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Lydgate would say that was not worth knowing," said Mr. Ned,
|
|
purposely caustic.
|
|
|
|
"On the contrary," said Lydgate, showing no smart; but smiling
|
|
with exasperating confidence at Rosamond. "It would be worth
|
|
knowing by the fact that Miss Vincy could tell it me."
|
|
|
|
Young Plymdale soon went to look at the whist-playing, thinking
|
|
that Lydgate was one of the most conceited, unpleasant fellows it
|
|
had ever been his ill-fortune to meet.
|
|
|
|
"How rash you are!" said Rosamond, inwardly delighted. "Do you
|
|
see that you have given offence?"
|
|
|
|
"What! is it Mr. Plymdale's book? I am sorry. I didn't think
|
|
about it."
|
|
|
|
"I shall begin to admit what you said of yourself when you first
|
|
came here--that you are a bear, and want teaching by the birds."
|
|
|
|
"Well, there is a bird who can teach me what she will. Don't I
|
|
listen to her willingly?"
|
|
|
|
To Rosamond it seemed as if she and Lydgate were as good as engaged.
|
|
That they were some time to be engaged had long been an idea in her mind;
|
|
and ideas, we know, tend to a more solid kind of existence, the necessary
|
|
materials being at hand. It is true, Lydgate had the counter-idea
|
|
of remaining unengaged; but this was a mere negative, a shadow east
|
|
by other resolves which themselves were capable of shrinking.
|
|
Circumstance was almost sure to be on the side of Rosamond's idea,
|
|
which had a shaping activity and looked through watchful blue eyes,
|
|
whereas Lydgate's lay blind and unconcerned as a jelly-fish which gets
|
|
melted without knowing it.
|
|
|
|
That evening when he went home, he looked at his phials to see
|
|
how a process of maceration was going on, with undisturbed interest;
|
|
and he wrote out his daily notes with as much precision as usual.
|
|
The reveries from which it was difficult for him to detach himself
|
|
were ideal constructions of something else than Rosamond's virtues,
|
|
and the primitive tissue was still his fair unknown. Moreover, he was
|
|
beginning to feel some zest for the growing though half-suppressed
|
|
feud between him and the other medical men, which was likely to become
|
|
more manifest, now that Bulstrode's method of managing the new
|
|
hospital was about to be declared; and there were various inspiriting
|
|
signs that his non-acceptance by some of Peacock's patients might be
|
|
counterbalanced by the impression he had produced in other quarters.
|
|
Only a few days later, when he had happened to overtake Rosamond
|
|
on the Lowick road and had got down from his horse to walk by her
|
|
side until he had quite protected her from a passing drove, he had
|
|
been stopped by a servant on horseback with a message calling him
|
|
in to a house of some importance where Peacock had never attended;
|
|
and it was the second instance of this kind. The servant was Sir
|
|
James Chettam's, and the house was Lowick Manor.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XXVIII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
1st Gent. All times are good to seek your wedded home
|
|
Bringing a mutual delight.
|
|
|
|
2d Gent. Why, true.
|
|
The calendar hath not an evil day
|
|
For souls made one by love, and even death
|
|
Were sweetness, if it came like rolling waves
|
|
While they two clasped each other, and foresaw
|
|
No life apart.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mr. and Mrs. Casaubon, returning from their wedding journey,
|
|
arrived at Lowick Manor in the middle of January. A light snow
|
|
was falling as they descended at the door, and in the morning,
|
|
when Dorothea passed from her dressing-room avenue the blue-green
|
|
boudoir that we know of, she saw the long avenue of limes lifting
|
|
their trunks from a white earth, and spreading white branches
|
|
against the dun and motionless sky. The distant flat shrank
|
|
in uniform whiteness and low-hanging uniformity of cloud.
|
|
The very furniture in the room seemed to have shrunk since she
|
|
saw it before: the slag in the tapestry looked more like a ghost
|
|
in his ghostly blue-green world; the volumes of polite literature
|
|
in the bookcase looked morn like immovable imitations of books.
|
|
The bright fire of dry oak-boughs burning on the dogs seemed an
|
|
incongruous renewal of life and glow--like the figure of Dorothea
|
|
herself as she entered carrying the red-leather cases containing
|
|
the cameos for Celia.
|
|
|
|
She was glowing from her morning toilet as only healthful youth
|
|
can glow: there was gem-like brightness on her coiled hair
|
|
and in her hazel eyes; there was warm red life in her lips;
|
|
her throat had a breathing whiteness above the differing white
|
|
of the fur which itself seemed to wind about her neck and cling
|
|
down her blue-gray pelisse with a tenderness gathered from her own,
|
|
a sentient commingled innocence which kept its loveliness against
|
|
the crystalline purity of the outdoor snow. As she laid the cameo-
|
|
cases on the table in the bow-window, she unconsciously kept her
|
|
hands on them, immediately absorbed in looking out on the still,
|
|
white enclosure which made her visible world.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon, who had risen early complaining of palpitation,
|
|
was in the library giving audience to his curate Mr. Tucker.
|
|
By-and-by Celia would come in her quality of bridesmaid as well
|
|
as sister, and through the next weeks there would be wedding visits
|
|
received and given; all in continuance of that transitional life
|
|
understood to correspond with the excitement of bridal felicity,
|
|
and keeping up the sense of busy ineffectiveness, as of a dream
|
|
which the dreamer begins to suspect. The duties of her married life,
|
|
contemplated as so great beforehand, seemed to be shrinking with the
|
|
furniture and the white vapor-walled landscape. The clear heights
|
|
where she expected to walk in full communion had become difficult
|
|
to see even in her imagination; the delicious repose of the soul on
|
|
a complete superior had been shaken into uneasy effort and alarmed
|
|
with dim presentiment. When would the days begin of that active
|
|
wifely devotion which was to strengthen her husband's life and exalt
|
|
her own? Never perhaps, as she had preconceived them; but somehow--
|
|
still somehow. In this solemnly pledged union of her life,
|
|
duty would present itself in some new form of inspiration and give
|
|
a new meaning to wifely love.
|
|
|
|
Meanwhile there was the snow and the low arch of dun vapor--
|
|
there was the stifling oppression of that gentlewoman's world,
|
|
where everything was done for her and none asked for her aid--
|
|
where the sense of connection with a manifold pregnant existence
|
|
had to be kept up painfully as an inward vision, instead of coming
|
|
from without in claims that would have shaped her energies.--
|
|
"What shall I do?" "Whatever you please, my dear: "that had been
|
|
her brief history since she had left off learning morning lessons
|
|
and practising silly rhythms on the hated piano. Marriage, which was
|
|
to bring guidance into worthy and imperative occupation, had not yet
|
|
freed her from the gentlewoman's oppressive liberty: it had not even
|
|
filled her leisure with the ruminant joy of unchecked tenderness.
|
|
Her blooming full-pulsed youth stood there in a moral imprisonment
|
|
which made itself one with the chill, colorless, narrowed landscape,
|
|
with the shrunken furniture, the never-read books, and the ghostly
|
|
stag in a pale fantastic world that seemed to be vanishing from
|
|
the daylight.
|
|
|
|
In the first minutes when Dorothea looked out she felt nothing
|
|
but the dreary oppression; then came a keen remembrance, and turning
|
|
away from the window she walked round the room. The ideas and
|
|
hopes which were living in her mind when she first saw this room
|
|
nearly three months before were present now only as memories:
|
|
she judged them as we judge transient and departed things.
|
|
All existence seemed to beat with a lower pulse than her own,
|
|
and her religious faith was a solitary cry, the struggle out of a
|
|
nightmare in which every object was withering and shrinking away
|
|
from her. Each remembered thing in the room was disenchanted,
|
|
was deadened as an unlit transparency, till her wandering gaze came
|
|
to the group of miniatures, and there at last she saw something
|
|
which had gathered new breath and meaning: it was the miniature
|
|
of Mr. Casaubon's aunt Julia, who had made the unfortunate marriage--
|
|
of Will Ladislaw's grandmother. Dorothea could fancy that it was
|
|
alive now--the delicate woman's face which yet had a headstrong look,
|
|
a peculiarity difficult to interpret. Was it only her friends
|
|
who thought her marriage unfortunate? or did she herself find it
|
|
out to be a mistake, and taste the salt bitterness of her tears
|
|
in the merciful silence of the night? What breadths of experience
|
|
Dorothea seemed to have passed over since she first looked at
|
|
this miniature! She felt a new companionship with it, as if it
|
|
had an ear for her and could see how she was looking at it.
|
|
Here was a woman who had known some difficulty about marriage.
|
|
Nay, the colors deepened, the lips and chin seemed to get larger,
|
|
the hair and eyes seemed to be sending out light, the face was
|
|
masculine and beamed on her with that full gaze which tells her
|
|
on whom it falls that she is too interesting for the slightest
|
|
movement of her eyelid to pass unnoticed and uninterpreted.
|
|
The vivid presentation came like a pleasant glow to Dorothea:
|
|
she felt herself smiling, and turning from the miniature sat down and
|
|
looked up as if she were again talking to a figure in front of her.
|
|
But the smile disappeared as she went on meditating, and at last she
|
|
said aloud--
|
|
|
|
"Oh, it was cruel to speak so! How sad--how dreadful!"
|
|
|
|
She rose quickly and went out of the room, hurrying along the corridor,
|
|
with the irresistible impulse to go and see her husband and inquire
|
|
if she could do anything for him. Perhaps Mr. Tucker was gone
|
|
and Mr. Casaubon was alone in the library. She felt as if all
|
|
her morning's gloom would vanish if she could see her husband
|
|
glad because of her presence.
|
|
|
|
But when she reached the head of the dark oak there was Celia
|
|
coming up, and below there was Mr. Brooke, exchanging welcomes
|
|
and congratulations with Mr. Casaubon.
|
|
|
|
"Dodo!" said Celia, in her quiet staccato; then kissed her sister,
|
|
whose arms encircled her, and said no more. I think they both
|
|
cried a little in a furtive manner, while Dorothea ran down-stairs
|
|
to greet her uncle.
|
|
|
|
"I need not ask how you are, my dear," said Mr. Brooke, after kissing
|
|
her forehead. "Rome has agreed with you, I see--happiness, frescos,
|
|
the antique--that sort of thing. Well, it's very pleasant to
|
|
have you back again, and you understand all about art now, eh?
|
|
But Casaubon is a little pale, I tell him--a little pale, you know.
|
|
Studying hard in his holidays is carrying it rather too far.
|
|
I overdid it at one time"--Mr. Brooke still held Dorothea's hand,
|
|
but had turned his face to Mr. Casaubon--"about topography,
|
|
ruins, temples--I thought I had a clew, but I saw it would carry
|
|
me too far, and nothing might come of it. You may go any length
|
|
in that sort of thing, and nothing may come of it, you know."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea's eyes also were turned up to her husband's face with some
|
|
anxiety at the idea that those who saw him afresh after absence
|
|
might be aware of signs which she had not noticed.
|
|
|
|
"Nothing to alarm you, my dear," said Mr. Brooke, observing
|
|
her expression. "A little English beef and mutton will soon make
|
|
a difference. It was all very well to look pale, sitting for the
|
|
portrait of Aquinas, you know--we got your letter just in time.
|
|
But Aquinas, now--he was a little too subtle, wasn't he?
|
|
Does anybody read Aquinas?"
|
|
|
|
"He is not indeed an author adapted to superficial minds,"
|
|
said Mr. Casaubon, meeting these timely questions with dignified patience.
|
|
|
|
"You would like coffee in your own room, uncle?" said Dorothea,
|
|
coming to the rescue.
|
|
|
|
"Yes; and you must go to Celia: she has great news to tell you,
|
|
you know. I leave it all to her."
|
|
|
|
The blue-green boudoir looked much more cheerful when Celia was
|
|
seated there in a pelisse exactly like her sister's, surveying
|
|
the cameos with a placid satisfaction, while the conversation
|
|
passed on to other topics.
|
|
|
|
"Do you think it nice to go to Rome on a wedding journey?"
|
|
said Celia, with her ready delicate blush which Dorothea was used
|
|
to on the smallest occasions.
|
|
|
|
"It would not suit all--not you, dear,
|
|
for example," said Dorothea, quietly.
|
|
No one would ever know what she thought of a wedding journey to Rome.
|
|
|
|
"Mrs. Cadwallader says it is nonsense, people going a long journey
|
|
when they are married. She says they get tired to death of
|
|
each other, and can't quarrel comfortably, as they would at home.
|
|
And Lady Chettam says she went to Bath." Celia's color changed
|
|
again and again--seemed
|
|
|
|
|
|
To come and go with tidings from the heart,
|
|
As it a running messenger had been.
|
|
|
|
It must mean more than Celia's blushing usually did.
|
|
|
|
"Celia! has something happened?" said Dorothea, in a tone full
|
|
of sisterly feeling. "Have you really any great news to tell me?"
|
|
|
|
"It was because you went away, Dodo. Then there was nobody but me
|
|
for Sir James to talk to," said Celia, with a certain roguishness
|
|
in her eyes.
|
|
|
|
"I understand. It is as I used to hope and believe," said Dorothea,
|
|
taking her sister's face between her hands, and looking at her
|
|
half anxiously. Celia's marriage seemed more serious than it used
|
|
to do.
|
|
|
|
"It was only three days ago," said Celia. "And Lady Chettam
|
|
is very kind."
|
|
|
|
"And you are very happy?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes. We are not going to be married yet. Because every thing
|
|
is to be got ready. And I don't want to be married so very soon,
|
|
because I think it is nice to be engaged. And we shall be married
|
|
all our lives after."
|
|
|
|
"I do believe you could not marry better, Kitty. Sir James is a good,
|
|
honorable man," said Dorothea, warmly.
|
|
|
|
"He has gone on with the cottages, Dodo. He will tell you about
|
|
them when he comes. Shall you be glad to see him?"
|
|
|
|
"Of course I shall. How can you ask me?"
|
|
|
|
"Only I was afraid you would be getting so learned," said Celia,
|
|
regarding Mr. Casaubon's learning as a kind of damp which might
|
|
in due time saturate a neighboring body.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XXIX.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"I found that no genius in another could please me. My unfortunate
|
|
paradoxes had entirely dried up that source of comfort."--GOLDSMITH.
|
|
|
|
|
|
One morning, some weeks after her arrival at Lowick, Dorothea--
|
|
but why always Dorothea? Was her point of view the only possible
|
|
one with regard to this marriage? protest against all our interest,
|
|
all our effort at understanding being given to the young skins that
|
|
look blooming in spite of trouble; for these too will get faded,
|
|
and will know the older and more eating griefs which we are helping
|
|
to neglect. In spite of the blinking eyes and white moles objectionable
|
|
to Celia, and the want of muscular curve which was morally painful
|
|
to Sir James, Mr. Casaubon had an intense consciousness within him,
|
|
and was spiritually a-hungered like the rest of us. He had done
|
|
nothing exceptional in marrying--nothing but what society sanctions,
|
|
and considers an occasion for wreaths and bouquets. It had occurred
|
|
to him that he must not any longer defer his intention of matrimony,
|
|
and he had reflected that in taking a wife, a man of good position
|
|
should expect and carefully choose a blooming young lady--the younger
|
|
the better, because more educable and submissive--of a rank
|
|
equal to his own, of religious principles, virtuous disposition,
|
|
and good understanding. On such a young lady he would make handsome
|
|
settlements, and he would neglect no arrangement for her happiness:
|
|
in return, he should receive family pleasures and leave behind him
|
|
that copy of himself which seemed so urgently required of a man--
|
|
to the sonneteers of the sixteenth century. Times had altered
|
|
since then, and no sonneteer had insisted on Mr. Casaubon's leaving
|
|
a copy of himself; moreover, he had not yet succeeded in issuing
|
|
copies of his mythological key; but he had always intended to acquit
|
|
himself by marriage, and the sense that he was fast leaving the
|
|
years behind him, that the world was getting dimmer and that he
|
|
felt lonely, was a reason to him for losing no more time in overtaking
|
|
domestic delights before they too were left behind by the years.
|
|
|
|
And when he had seen Dorothea he believed that he had found even
|
|
more than he demanded: she might really be such a helpmate to him
|
|
as would enable him to dispense with a hired secretary, an aid
|
|
which Mr. Casaubon had never yet employed and had a suspicious
|
|
dread of. (Mr. Casaubon was nervously conscious that he was
|
|
expected to manifest a powerful mind.) Providence, in its kindness,
|
|
had supplied him with the wife he needed. A wife, a modest
|
|
young lady, with the purely appreciative, unambitious abilities
|
|
of her sex, is sure to think her husband's mind powerful.
|
|
Whether Providence had taken equal care of Miss Brooke in presenting
|
|
her with Mr. Casaubon was an idea which could hardly occur to him.
|
|
Society never made the preposterous demand that a man should think
|
|
as much about his own qualifications for making a charming girl
|
|
happy as he thinks of hers for making himself happy. As if a man
|
|
could choose not only his wife hut his wife's husband! Or as if he
|
|
were bound to provide charms for his posterity in his own person!--
|
|
When Dorothea accepted him with effusion, that was only natural;
|
|
and Mr. Casaubon believed that his happiness was going to begin.
|
|
|
|
He had not had much foretaste of happiness in his previous life.
|
|
To know intense joy without a strong bodily frame, one must have an
|
|
enthusiastic soul. Mr. Casaubon had never had a strong bodily frame,
|
|
and his soul was sensitive without being enthusiastic: it was too
|
|
languid to thrill out of self-consciousness into passionate delight;
|
|
it went on fluttering in the swampy ground where it was hatched,
|
|
thinking of its wings and never flying. His experience was of
|
|
that pitiable kind which shrinks from pity, and fears most of all
|
|
that it should be known: it was that proud narrow sensitiveness
|
|
which has not mass enough to spare for transformation into sympathy,
|
|
and quivers thread-like in small currents of self-preoccupation
|
|
or at best of an egoistic scrupulosity. And Mr. Casaubon
|
|
had many scruples: he was capable of a severe self-restraint;
|
|
he was resolute in being a man of honor according to the code;
|
|
he would be unimpeachable by any recognized opinion. In conduct
|
|
these ends had been attained; but the difficulty of making his Key
|
|
to all Mythologies unimpeachable weighed like lead upon his mind;
|
|
and the pamphlets--or "Parerga" as he called them--by which he tested
|
|
his public and deposited small monumental records of his march,
|
|
were far from having been seen in all their significance.
|
|
He suspected the Archdeacon of not having read them; he was
|
|
in painful doubt as to what was really thought of them by the
|
|
leading minds of Brasenose, and bitterly convinced that his old
|
|
acquaintance Carp had been the writer of that depreciatory recension
|
|
which was kept locked in a small drawer of Mr. Casaubon's desk,
|
|
and also in a dark closet of his verbal memory. These were heavy
|
|
impressions to struggle against, and brought that melancholy
|
|
embitterment which is the consequence of all excessive claim:
|
|
even his religious faith wavered with his wavering trust in his
|
|
own authorship, and the consolations of the Christian hope in
|
|
immortality seemed to lean on the immortality of the still unwritten
|
|
Key to all Mythologies. For my part I am very sorry for him.
|
|
It is an uneasy lot at best, to be what we call highly taught and
|
|
yet not to enjoy: to be present at this great spectacle of life
|
|
and never to be liberated from a small hungry shivering self--
|
|
never to be fully possessed by the glory we behold, never to have
|
|
our consciousness rapturously transformed into the vividness
|
|
of a thought, the ardor of a passion, the energy of an action,
|
|
but always to be scholarly and uninspired, ambitious and timid,
|
|
scrupulous and dim-sighted. Becoming a dean or even a bishop would
|
|
make little difference, I fear, to Mr. Casaubon's uneasiness.
|
|
Doubtless some ancient Greek has observed that behind the big mask
|
|
and the speaking-trumpet, there must always be our poor little
|
|
eyes peeping as usual and our timorous lips more or less under
|
|
anxious control.
|
|
|
|
To this mental estate mapped out a quarter of a century before,
|
|
to sensibilities thus fenced in, Mr. Casaubon had thought of annexing
|
|
happiness with a lovely young bride; but even before marriage,
|
|
as we have seen, he found himself under a new depression in
|
|
the consciousness that the new bliss was not blissful to him.
|
|
Inclination yearned back to its old, easier custom. And the deeper
|
|
he went in domesticity the more did the sense of acquitting himself
|
|
and acting with propriety predominate over any other satisfaction.
|
|
Marriage, like religion and erudition, nay, like authorship itself,
|
|
was fated to become an outward requirement, and Edward Casaubon
|
|
was bent on fulfilling unimpeachably all requirements. Even drawing
|
|
Dorothea into use in his study, according to his own intention
|
|
before marriage, was an effort which he was always tempted to defer,
|
|
and but for her pleading insistence it might never have begun.
|
|
But she had succeeded in making it a matter of course that she should
|
|
take her place at an early hour in the library and have work either
|
|
of reading aloud or copying assigned her. The work had been easier
|
|
to define because Mr. Casaubon had adopted an immediate intention:
|
|
there was to be a new Parergon, a small monograph on some
|
|
lately traced indications concerning the Egyptian mysteries
|
|
whereby certain assertions of Warburton's could be corrected.
|
|
References were extensive even here, but not altogether shoreless;
|
|
and sentences were actually to be written in the shape wherein they
|
|
would be scanned by Brasenose and a less formidable posterity.
|
|
These minor monumental productions were always exciting to Mr. Casaubon;
|
|
digestion was made difficult by the interference of citations,
|
|
or by the rivalry of dialectical phrases ringing against each other
|
|
in his brain. And from the first there was to be a Latin dedication
|
|
about which everything was uncertain except that it was not to be
|
|
addressed to Carp: it was a poisonous regret to Mr. Casaubon that he
|
|
had once addressed a dedication to Carp in which he had numbered
|
|
that member of the animal kingdom among the viros nullo aevo
|
|
perituros, a mistake which would infallibly lay the dedicator open
|
|
to ridicule in the next age, and might even be chuckled over by Pike
|
|
and Tench in the present.
|
|
|
|
Thus Mr. Casaubon was in one of his busiest epochs, and as I
|
|
began to say a little while ago, Dorothea joined him early in the
|
|
library where he had breakfasted alone. Celia at this time was on
|
|
a second visit to Lowick, probably the last before her marriage,
|
|
and was in the drawing-room expecting Sir James.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea had learned to read the signs of her husband's mood, and she
|
|
saw that the morning had become more foggy there during the last hour.
|
|
She was going silently to her desk when he said, in that distant
|
|
tone which implied that he was discharging a disagreeable duty--
|
|
|
|
"Dorothea, here is a letter for you, which was enclosed in one
|
|
addressed to me."
|
|
|
|
It was a letter of two pages, and she immediately looked at the signature.
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Ladislaw! What can he have to say to me?" she exclaimed,
|
|
in a tone of pleased surprise. "But," she added, looking at
|
|
Mr. Casaubon, "I can imagine what he has written to you about."
|
|
|
|
"You can, if you please, read the letter," said Mr. Casaubon,
|
|
severely pointing to it with his pen, and not looking at her.
|
|
"But I may as well say beforehand, that I must decline the proposal it
|
|
contains to pay a visit here. I trust I may be excused for desiring
|
|
an interval of complete freedom from such distractions as have been
|
|
hitherto inevitable, and especially from guests whose desultory
|
|
vivacity makes their presence a fatigue."
|
|
|
|
There had been no clashing of temper between Dorothea and her
|
|
husband since that little explosion in Rome, which had left such
|
|
strong traces in her mind that it had been easier ever since
|
|
to quell emotion than to incur the consequence of venting it.
|
|
But this ill-tempered anticipation that she could desire visits
|
|
which might be disagreeable to her husband, this gratuitous defence
|
|
of himself against selfish complaint on her part, was too sharp
|
|
a sting to be meditated on until after it had been resented.
|
|
Dorothea had thought that she could have been patient with John Milton,
|
|
but she had never imagined him behaving in this way; and for a moment
|
|
Mr. Casaubon seemed to be stupidly undiscerning and odiously unjust.
|
|
Pity, that "new-born babe" which was by-and-by to rule many a
|
|
storm within her, did not "stride the blast" on this occasion.
|
|
With her first words, uttered in a tone that shook him, she startled
|
|
Mr. Casaubon into looking at her, and meeting the flash of her eyes.
|
|
|
|
"Why do you attribute to me a wish for anything that would annoy you?
|
|
You speak to me as if I were something you had to contend against.
|
|
Wait at least till I appear to consult my own pleasure apart
|
|
from yours."
|
|
|
|
"Dorothea, you are hasty," answered Mr. Casaubon, nervously.
|
|
|
|
Decidedly, this woman was too young to be on the formidable level
|
|
of wifehood--unless she had been pale and feature less and taken
|
|
everything for granted.
|
|
|
|
"I think it was you who were first hasty in your false suppositions
|
|
about my feeling," said Dorothea, in the same tone. The fire was
|
|
not dissipated yet, and she thought it was ignoble in her husband
|
|
not to apologize to her.
|
|
|
|
"We will, if you please, say no more on this subject, Dorothea.
|
|
I have neither leisure nor energy for this kind of debate."
|
|
|
|
Here Mr. Casaubon dipped his pen and made as if he would return to
|
|
his writing, though his hand trembled so much that the words seemed
|
|
to be written in an unknown character. There are answers which,
|
|
in turning away wrath, only send it to the other end of the room,
|
|
and to have a discussion coolly waived when you feel that justice
|
|
is all on your own side is even more exasperating in marriage than
|
|
in philosophy.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea left Ladislaw's two letters unread on her husband's
|
|
writing-table and went to her own place, the scorn and indignation
|
|
within her rejecting the reading of these letters, just as we
|
|
hurl away any trash towards which we seem to have been suspected
|
|
of mean cupidity. She did not in the least divine the subtle
|
|
sources of her husband's bad temper about these letters:
|
|
she only knew that they had caused him to offend her. She began
|
|
to work at once, and her hand did not tremble; on the contrary,
|
|
in writing out the quotations which had been given to her the
|
|
day before, she felt that she was forming her letters beautifully,
|
|
and it seemed to her that she saw the construction of the Latin she
|
|
was copying, and which she was beginning to understand, more clearly
|
|
than usual. In her indignation there was a sense of superiority,
|
|
but it went out for the present in firmness of stroke, and did
|
|
not compress itself into an inward articulate voice pronouncing
|
|
the once "affable archangel" a poor creature.
|
|
|
|
There had been this apparent quiet for half an hour, and Dorothea
|
|
had not looked away from her own table, when she heard the loud bang
|
|
of a book on the floor, and turning quickly saw Mr. Casaubon on the
|
|
library steps clinging forward as if he were in some bodily distress.
|
|
She started up and bounded towards him in an instant: he was evidently
|
|
in great straits for breath. Jumping on a stool she got close
|
|
to his elbow and said with her whole soul melted into tender alarm--
|
|
|
|
"Can you lean on me, dear?"
|
|
|
|
He was still for two or three minutes, which seemed endless to her,
|
|
unable to speak or move, gasping for breath. When at last he
|
|
descended the three steps and fell backward in the large chair
|
|
which Dorothea had drawn close to the foot of the ladder,
|
|
he no longer gasped but seemed helpless and about to faint.
|
|
Dorothea rang the bell violently, and presently Mr. Casaubon was
|
|
helped to the couch: he did not faint, and was gradually reviving,
|
|
when Sir James Chettam came in, having been met in the hall with
|
|
the news that Mr. Casaubon had "had a fit in the library."
|
|
|
|
"Good God! this is just what might have been expected," was his
|
|
immediate thought. If his prophetic soul had been urged to particularize,
|
|
it seemed to him that "fits" would have been the definite expression
|
|
alighted upon. He asked his informant, the butler, whether the
|
|
doctor had been sent for. The butler never knew his master want
|
|
the doctor before; but would it not be right to send for a physician?
|
|
|
|
When Sir James entered the library, however, Mr. Casaubon could make
|
|
some signs of his usual politeness, and Dorothea, who in the reaction
|
|
from her first terror had been kneeling and sobbing by his side now
|
|
rose and herself proposed that some one should ride off for a medical man.
|
|
|
|
"I recommend you to send for Lydgate," said Sir James. "My mother
|
|
has called him in, and she has found him uncommonly clever.
|
|
She has had a poor opinion of the physicians since my father's death."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea appealed to her husband, and he made a silent sign of approval.
|
|
So Mr. Lydgate was sent for and he came wonderfully soon, for the
|
|
messenger, who was Sir James Chettam's man and knew Mr. Lydgate, met him
|
|
leading his horse along the Lowick road and giving his arm to Miss Vincy.
|
|
|
|
Celia, in the drawing-room, had known nothing of the trouble till
|
|
Sir James told her of it. After Dorothea's account, he no longer
|
|
considered the illness a fit, but still something "of that nature."
|
|
|
|
"Poor dear Dodo--how dreadful!" said Celia, feeling as much grieved
|
|
as her own perfect happiness would allow. Her little hands were clasped,
|
|
and enclosed by Sir James's as a bud is enfolded by a liberal calyx.
|
|
"It is very shocking that Mr. Casaubon should be ill; but I never
|
|
did like him. And I think he is not half fond enough of Dorothea;
|
|
and he ought to be, for I am sure no one else would have had him--
|
|
do you think they would?"
|
|
|
|
"I always thought it a horrible sacrifice of your sister,"
|
|
said Sir James.
|
|
|
|
"Yes. But poor Dodo never did do what other people do, and I think
|
|
she never will."
|
|
|
|
"She is a noble creature," said the loyal-hearted Sir James.
|
|
He had just had a fresh impression of this kind, as he had seen
|
|
Dorothea stretching her tender arm under her husband's neck and
|
|
looking at him with unspeakable sorrow. He did not know how much
|
|
penitence there was in the sorrow.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Celia, thinking it was very well for Sir James to say so,
|
|
but HE would not have been comfortable with Dodo. "Shall I go
|
|
to her? Could I help her, do you think?"
|
|
|
|
"I think it would be well for you just to go and see her before
|
|
Lydgate comes," said Sir James, magnanimously. "Only don't stay long."
|
|
|
|
While Celia was gone he walked up and down remembering what he had
|
|
originally felt about Dorothea's engagement, and feeling a revival
|
|
of his disgust at Mr. Brooke's indifference. If Cadwallader--
|
|
if every one else had regarded the affair as he, Sir James, had done,
|
|
the marriage might have been hindered. It was wicked to let a
|
|
young girl blindly decide her fate in that way, without any effort
|
|
to save her. Sir James had long ceased to have any regrets on his
|
|
own account: his heart was satisfied with his engagement to Celia.
|
|
But he had a chivalrous nature (was not the disinterested service
|
|
of woman among the ideal glories of old chivalry?): his disregarded
|
|
love had not turned to bitterness; its death had made sweet odors--
|
|
floating memories that clung with a consecrating effect to Dorothea.
|
|
He could remain her brotherly friend, interpreting her actions with
|
|
generous trustfulness.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XXX.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Qui veut delasser hors de propos, lasse."--PASCAL.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon had no second attack of equal severity with the first,
|
|
and in a few days began to recover his usual condition.
|
|
But Lydgate seemed to think the case worth a great deal of attention.
|
|
He not only used his stethoscope (which had not become a matter
|
|
of course in practice at that time), but sat quietly by his patient
|
|
and watched him. To Mr. Casaubon's questions about himself,
|
|
he replied that the source of the illness was the common error
|
|
of intellectual men--a too eager and monotonous application:
|
|
the remedy was, to be satisfied with moderate work, and to seek
|
|
variety of relaxation. Mr. Brooke, who sat by on one occasion,
|
|
suggested that Mr. Casaubon should go fishing, as Cadwallader did,
|
|
and have a turning-room, make toys, table-legs, and that kind
|
|
of thing.
|
|
|
|
"In short, you recommend me to anticipate the arrival of my
|
|
second childhood," said poor Mr. Casaubon, with some bitterness.
|
|
"These things," he added, looking at Lydgate, "would be to me such
|
|
relaxation as tow-picking is to prisoners in a house of correction."
|
|
|
|
"I confess," said Lydgate, smiling, "amusement is rather
|
|
an unsatisfactory prescription. It is something like telling
|
|
people to keep up their spirits. Perhaps I had better say,
|
|
that you must submit to be mildly bored rather than to go on working."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, yes," said Mr. Brooke. "Get Dorothea to play back. gammon with
|
|
you in the evenings. And shuttlecock, now--I don't know a finer game
|
|
than shuttlecock for the daytime. I remember it all the fashion.
|
|
To be sure, your eyes might not stand that, Casaubon. But you
|
|
must unbend, you know. Why, you might take to some light study:
|
|
conchology, now: it always think that must be a light study.
|
|
Or get Dorothea to read you light things, Smollett--`Roderick Random,'
|
|
`Humphrey Clinker:' they are a little broad, but she may read
|
|
anything now she's married, you know. I remember they made me
|
|
laugh uncommonly--there's a droll bit about a postilion's breeches.
|
|
We have no such humor now. I have gone through all these things,
|
|
but they might be rather new to you."
|
|
|
|
"As new as eating thistles," would have been an answer to represent
|
|
Mr. Casaubon's feelings. But he only bowed resignedly, with due
|
|
respect to his wife's uncle, and observed that doubtless the works
|
|
he mentioned had "served as a resource to a certain order of minds."
|
|
|
|
"You see," said the able magistrate to Lydgate, when they were
|
|
outside the door, "Casaubon has been a little narrow: it leaves him
|
|
rather at a loss when you forbid him his particular work, which I
|
|
believe is something very deep indeed--in the line of research,
|
|
you know. I would never give way to that; I was always versatile.
|
|
But a clergyman is tied a little tight. If they would make him
|
|
a bishop, now!--he did a very good pamphlet for Peel. He would
|
|
have more movement then, more show; he might get a little flesh.
|
|
But I recommend you to talk to Mrs. Casaubon. She is clever enough
|
|
for anything, is my niece. Tell her, her husband wants liveliness,
|
|
diversion: put her on amusing tactics."
|
|
|
|
Without Mr. Brooke's advice, Lydgate had determined on speaking
|
|
to Dorothea. She had not been present while her uncle was throwing
|
|
out his pleasant suggestions as to the mode in which life at Lowick
|
|
might be enlivened, but she was usually by her husband's side, and the
|
|
unaffected signs of intense anxiety in her face and voice about whatever
|
|
touched his mind or health, made a drama which Lydgate was inclined
|
|
to watch. He said to himself that he was only doing right in telling
|
|
her the truth about her husband's probable future, but he certainly
|
|
thought also that it would be interesting to talk confidentially
|
|
with her. A medical man likes to make psychological observations,
|
|
and sometimes in the pursuit of such studies is too easily tempted
|
|
into momentous prophecy which life and death easily set at nought.
|
|
Lydgate had often been satirical on this gratuitous prediction,
|
|
and he meant now to be guarded.
|
|
|
|
He asked for Mrs. Casaubon, but being told that she was out walking,
|
|
he was going away, when Dorothea and Celia appeared, both glowing
|
|
from their struggle with the March wind. When Lydgate begged to speak
|
|
with her alone, Dorothea opened the library door which happened
|
|
to be the nearest, thinking of nothing at the moment but what he
|
|
might have to say about Mr. Casaubon. It was the first time
|
|
she had entered this room since her husband had been taken ill,
|
|
and the servant had chosen not to open the shutters. But there was
|
|
light enough to read by from the narrow upper panes of the windows.
|
|
|
|
"You will not mind this sombre light," said Dorothea, standing in
|
|
the middle of the room. "Since you forbade books, the library has
|
|
been out of the question. But Mr. Casaubon will soon be here again,
|
|
I hope. Is he not making progress?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, much more rapid progress than I at first expected.
|
|
Indeed, he is already nearly in his usual state of health."
|
|
|
|
"You do not fear that the illness will return?" said Dorothea,
|
|
whose quick ear had detected some significance in Lydgate's tone.
|
|
|
|
"Such cases are peculiarly difficult to pronounce upon," said Lydgate.
|
|
"The only point on which I can be confident is that it will be
|
|
desirable to be very watchful on Mr. Casaubon's account, lest he
|
|
should in any way strain his nervous power."
|
|
|
|
"I beseech you to speak quite plainly," said Dorothea, in an
|
|
imploring tone. "I cannot bear to think that there might be
|
|
something which I did not know, and which, if I had known it,
|
|
would have made me act differently." The words came out like a cry:
|
|
it was evident that they were the voice of some mental experience
|
|
which lay not very far off.
|
|
|
|
"Sit down," she added, placing herself on the nearest chair,
|
|
and throwing off her bonnet and gloves, with an instinctive discarding
|
|
of formality where a great question of destiny was concerned.
|
|
|
|
"What you say now justifies my own view," said Lydgate. "I think it
|
|
is one's function as a medical man to hinder regrets of that sort
|
|
as far as possible. But I beg you to observe that Mr. Casaubon's
|
|
case is precisely of the kind in which the issue is most difficult
|
|
to pronounce upon. He may possibly live for fifteen years or more,
|
|
without much worse health than he has had hitherto."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea had turned very pale, and when Lydgate paused she said
|
|
in a low voice, "You mean if we are very careful."
|
|
|
|
"Yes--careful against mental agitation of all kinds, and against
|
|
excessive application."
|
|
|
|
"He would be miserable, if he had to give up his work," said Dorothea,
|
|
with a quick prevision of that wretchedness.
|
|
|
|
"I am aware of that. The only course is to try by all means,
|
|
direct and indirect, to moderate and vary his occupations.
|
|
With a happy concurrence of circumstances, there is, as I said,
|
|
no immediate danger from that affection of the heart, which I believe
|
|
to have been the cause of his late attack. On the other hand,
|
|
it is possible that the disease may develop itself more rapidly:
|
|
it is one of those eases in which death is sometimes sudden.
|
|
Nothing should be neglected which might be affected by such
|
|
an issue."
|
|
|
|
There was silence for a few moments, while Dorothea sat as if she
|
|
had been turned to marble, though the life within her was so intense
|
|
that her mind had never before swept in brief time over an equal
|
|
range of scenes and motives.
|
|
|
|
"Help me, pray," she said, at last, in the same low voice as before.
|
|
"Tell me what I can do."
|
|
|
|
"What do you think of foreign travel? You have been lately in Rome,
|
|
I think."
|
|
|
|
The memories which made this resource utterly hopeless were a new
|
|
current that shook Dorothea out of her pallid immobility.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, that would not do--that would be worse than anything," she said
|
|
with a more childlike despondency, while the tears rolled down.
|
|
"Nothing will be of any use that he does not enjoy."
|
|
|
|
"I wish that I could have spared you this pain," said Lydgate,
|
|
deeply touched, yet wondering about her marriage. Women just like
|
|
Dorothea had not entered into his traditions.
|
|
|
|
"It was right of you to tell me. I thank you for telling me
|
|
the truth."
|
|
|
|
"I wish you to understand that I shall not say anything
|
|
to enlighten Mr. Casaubon himself. I think it desirable
|
|
for him to know nothing more than that he must not overwork
|
|
him self, and must observe certain rules. Anxiety
|
|
of any kind would be precisely the most unfavorable condition for him."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate rose, and Dorothea mechanically rose at the same time?
|
|
unclasping her cloak and throwing it off as if it stifled her.
|
|
He was bowing and quitting her, when an impulse which if she had
|
|
been alone would have turned into a prayer, made her say with a sob
|
|
in her voice--
|
|
|
|
"Oh, you are a wise man, are you not? You know all about life
|
|
and death. Advise me. Think what I can do. He has been laboring
|
|
all his life and looking forward. He minds about nothing else.--
|
|
And I mind about nothing else--"
|
|
|
|
For years after Lydgate remembered the impression produced in him
|
|
by this involuntary appeal--this cry from soul to soul, without other
|
|
consciousness than their moving with kindred natures in the same
|
|
embroiled medium, the same troublous fitfully illuminated life.
|
|
But what could he say now except that he should see Mr. Casaubon
|
|
again to-morrow?
|
|
|
|
When he was gone, Dorothea's tears gushed forth, and relieved
|
|
her stifling oppression. Then she dried her eyes, reminded that
|
|
her distress must not be betrayed to her husband; and looked
|
|
round the room thinking that she must order the servant to attend
|
|
to it as usual, since Mr. Casaubon might now at any moment wish
|
|
to enter. On his writing-table there were letters which had lain
|
|
untouched since the morning when he was taken ill, and among them,
|
|
as Dorothea. well remembered, there were young Ladislaw's letters,
|
|
the one addressed to her still unopened. The associations of
|
|
these letters had been made the more painful by that sudden attack
|
|
of illness which she felt that the agitation caused by her anger
|
|
might have helped to bring on: it would be time enough to read
|
|
them when they were again thrust upon her, and she had had no
|
|
inclination to fetch them from the library. But now it occurred
|
|
to her that they should be put out of her husband's sight:
|
|
whatever might have been the sources of his annoyance about them,
|
|
he must, if possible, not be annoyed again; and she ran her eyes
|
|
first over the letter addressed to him to assure herself whether or
|
|
not it would be necessary to write in order to hinder the offensive visit.
|
|
|
|
Will wrote from Rome, and began by saying that his obligations to
|
|
Mr. Casaubon were too deep for all thanks not to seem impertinent.
|
|
It was plain that if he were not grateful, he must be the
|
|
poorest-spirited rascal who had ever found a generous friend.
|
|
To expand in wordy thanks would be like saying, "I am honest."
|
|
But Will had come to perceive that his defects--defects which
|
|
Mr. Casaubon had himself often pointed to--needed for their correction
|
|
that more strenuous position which his relative's generosity
|
|
had hitherto prevented from being inevitable. He trusted that he
|
|
should make the best return, if return were possible, by showing
|
|
the effectiveness of the education for which he was indebted,
|
|
and by ceasing in future to need any diversion towards himself of funds
|
|
on which others might have a better claim. He was coming to England,
|
|
to try his fortune, as many other young men were obliged to do whose
|
|
only capital was in their brains. His friend Naumann had desired him
|
|
to take charge of the "Dispute"--the picture painted for Mr. Casaubon,
|
|
with whose permission, and Mrs. Casaubon's, Will would convey it to
|
|
Lowick in person. A letter addressed to the Poste Restante in Paris
|
|
within the fortnight would hinder him, if necessary, from arriving
|
|
at an inconvenient moment. He enclosed a letter to Mrs. Casaubon
|
|
in which he continued a discussion about art, begun with her in Rome.
|
|
|
|
Opening her own letter Dorothea saw that it was a lively continuation
|
|
of his remonstrance with her fanatical sympathy and her want of
|
|
sturdy neutral delight in things as they were--an outpouring of his
|
|
young vivacity which it was impossible to read just now. She had
|
|
immediately to consider what was to be done about the other letter:
|
|
there was still time perhaps to prevent Will from coming to Lowick.
|
|
Dorothea ended by giving the letter to her uncle, who was still
|
|
in the house, and begging him to let Will know that Mr. Casaubon
|
|
had been ill, and that his health would not allow the reception
|
|
of any visitors.
|
|
|
|
No one more ready than Mr. Brooke to write a letter: his only
|
|
difficulty was to write a short one, and his ideas in this case
|
|
expanded over the three large pages and the inward foldings.
|
|
He had simply said to Dorothea--
|
|
|
|
"To be sure, I will write, my dear. He's a very clever young fellow--
|
|
this young Ladislaw--I dare say will be a rising young man.
|
|
It's a good letter--marks his sense of things, you know.
|
|
However, I will tell him about Casaubon."
|
|
|
|
But the end of Mr. Brooke's pen was a thinking organ, evolving sentences,
|
|
especially of a benevolent kind, before the rest of his mind could
|
|
well overtake them. It expressed regrets and proposed remedies,
|
|
which, when Mr. Brooke read them, seemed felicitously worded--
|
|
surprisingly the right thing, and determined a sequel which he
|
|
had never before thought of. In this case, his pen found it such
|
|
a pity young Ladislaw should not have come into the neighborhood.
|
|
just at that time, in order that Mr. Brooke might make his acquaintance
|
|
more fully, and that they might go over the long-neglected Italian
|
|
drawings together--it also felt such an interest in a young man
|
|
who was starting in life with a stock of ideas--that by the end of
|
|
the second page it had persuaded Mr. Brooke to invite young Ladislaw,
|
|
since he could not be received at Lowick, to come to Tipton Grange.
|
|
Why not? They could find a great many things to do together,
|
|
and this was a period of peculiar growth--the political horizon
|
|
was expanding, and--in short, Mr. Brooke's pen went off into a little
|
|
speech which it had lately reported for that imperfectly edited organ
|
|
the "Middlemarch Pioneer." While Mr. Brooke was sealing this letter,
|
|
he felt elated with an influx of dim projects:--a young man capable
|
|
of putting ideas into form, the "Pioneer" purchased to clear
|
|
the pathway for a new candidate, documents utilized--who knew what
|
|
might come of it all? Since Celia was going to marry immediately,
|
|
it would be very pleasant to have a young fellow at table with him,
|
|
at least for a time.
|
|
|
|
But he went away without telling Dorothea what he had put into
|
|
the letter, for she was engaged with her husband, and--in fact,
|
|
these things were of no importance to her.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XXXI.
|
|
|
|
How will you know the pitch of that great bell
|
|
Too large for you to stir? Let but a flute
|
|
Play 'neath the fine-mixed metal listen close
|
|
Till the right note flows forth, a silvery rill.
|
|
Then shall the huge bell tremble--then the mass
|
|
With myriad waves concurrent shall respond
|
|
In low soft unison.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lydgate that evening spoke to Miss Vincy of Mrs. Casaubon,
|
|
and laid some emphasis on the strong feeling she appeared to have
|
|
for that formal studious man thirty years older than herself.
|
|
|
|
"Of course she is devoted to her husband," said Rosamond,
|
|
implying a notion of necessary sequence which the scientific
|
|
man regarded as the prettiest possible for a woman; but she
|
|
was thinking at the same time that it was not so very melancholy
|
|
to be mistress of Lowick Manor with a husband likely to die soon.
|
|
"Do you think her very handsome?"
|
|
|
|
"She certainly is handsome, but I have not thought about it,"
|
|
said Lydgate.
|
|
|
|
"I suppose it would be unprofessional," said Rosamond, dimpling.
|
|
"But how your practice is spreading! You were called in before
|
|
to the Chettams, I think; and now, the Casaubons."
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Lydgate, in a tone of compulsory admission. "But I
|
|
don't really like attending such people so well as the poor.
|
|
The cases are more monotonous, and one has to go through more fuss
|
|
and listen more deferentially to nonsense."
|
|
|
|
"Not more than in Middlemarch," said Rosamond. "And at least you go
|
|
through wide corridors and have the scent of rose-leaves everywhere."
|
|
|
|
"That is true, Mademoiselle de Montmorenci," said Lydgate,
|
|
just bending his head to the table and lifting with his fourth finger
|
|
her delicate handkerchief which lay at the mouth of her reticule,
|
|
as if to enjoy its scent, while he looked at her with a smile.
|
|
|
|
But this agreeable holiday freedom with which Lydgate hovered
|
|
about the flower of Middlemarch, could not continue indefinitely.
|
|
It was not more possible to find social isolation in that town
|
|
than elsewhere, and two people persistently flirting could
|
|
by no means escape from "the various entanglements, weights,
|
|
blows, clashings, motions, by which things severally go on."
|
|
Whatever Miss Vincy did must be remarked, and she was perhaps the more
|
|
conspicuous to admirers and critics because just now Mrs. Vincy,
|
|
after some struggle, had gone with Fred to stay a little while at
|
|
Stone Court, there being no other way of at once gratifying old
|
|
Featherstone and keeping watch against Mary Garth, who appeared a less
|
|
tolerable daughter-in-law in proportion as Fred's illness disappeared.
|
|
|
|
Aunt Bulstrode, for example, came a little oftener into Lowick
|
|
Gate to see Rosamond, now she was alone. For Mrs. Bulstrode had
|
|
a true sisterly feeling for her brother; always thinking that he
|
|
might have married better, but wishing well to the children.
|
|
Now Mrs. Bulstrode had a long-standing intimacy with Mrs. Plymdale.
|
|
They had nearly the same preferences in silks, patterns for underclothing,
|
|
china-ware, and clergymen; they confided their little troubles
|
|
of health and household management to each other, and various little
|
|
points of superiority on Mrs. Bulstrode's side, namely, more decided
|
|
seriousness, more admiration for mind, and a house outside the town,
|
|
sometimes served to give color to their conversation without dividing
|
|
them--well-meaning women both, knowing very little of their own motives.
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Bulstrode, paying a morning visit to Mrs. Plymdale, happened to
|
|
say that she could not stay longer, because she was going to see
|
|
poor Rosamond.
|
|
|
|
"Why do you say `poor Rosamond'?" said Mrs. Plymdale, a round-eyed
|
|
sharp little woman, like a tamed falcon.
|
|
|
|
"She is so pretty, and has been brought up in such thoughtlessness.
|
|
The mother, you know, had always that levity about her, which makes
|
|
me anxious for the children."
|
|
|
|
"Well, Harriet, if I am to speak my mind," said Mrs. Plymdale,
|
|
with emphasis, "I must say, anybody would suppose you and
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode would be delighted with what has happened,
|
|
for you have done everything to put Mr. Lydgate forward."
|
|
|
|
"Selina, what do you mean?" said Mrs. Bulstrode, in genuine surprise.
|
|
|
|
"Not but what I am truly thankful for Ned's sake," said Mrs. Plymdale.
|
|
"He could certainly better afford to keep such a wife than
|
|
some people can; but I should wish him to look elsewhere.
|
|
Still a mother has anxieties, and some young men would take to
|
|
a bad life in consequence. Besides, if I was obliged to speak,
|
|
I should say I was not fond of strangers coming into a town."
|
|
|
|
"I don't know, Selina," said Mrs. Bulstrode, with a little emphasis
|
|
in her turn. "Mr. Bulstrode was a stranger here at one time.
|
|
Abraham and Moses were strangers in the land, and we are told to
|
|
entertain strangers. And especially," she added, after a slight pause,
|
|
"when they are unexceptionable."
|
|
|
|
"I was not speaking in a religious sense, Harriet. I spoke
|
|
as a mother."
|
|
|
|
"Selina, I am sure you have never heard me say anything against
|
|
a niece of mine marrying your son."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, it is pride in Miss Vincy--I am sure it is nothing else,"
|
|
said Mrs. Plymdale, who had never before given all her confidence
|
|
to "Harriet" on this subject. "No young man in Middlemarch
|
|
was good enough for her: I have heard her mother say as much.
|
|
That is not a Christian spirit, I think. But now, from all I hear,
|
|
she has found a man AS proud as herself."
|
|
|
|
"You don't mean that there is anything between Rosamond and Mr. Lydgate?"
|
|
said Mrs. Bulstrode, rather mortified at finding out her own ignorance
|
|
|
|
"Is it possible you don't know, Harriet?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I go about so little; and I am not fond of gossip; I really
|
|
never hear any. You see so many people that I don't see.
|
|
Your circle is rather different from ours."
|
|
|
|
"Well, but your own niece and Mr. Bulstrode's great favorite--
|
|
and yours too, I am sure, Harriet! I thought, at one time,
|
|
you meant him for Kate, when she is a little older."
|
|
|
|
"I don't believe there can be anything serious at present,"
|
|
said Mrs. Bulstrode. "My brother would certainly have told me."
|
|
|
|
"Well, people have different ways, but I understand that nobody
|
|
can see Miss Vincy and Mr. Lydgate together without taking them
|
|
to be engaged. However, it is not my business. Shall I put up
|
|
the pattern of mittens?"
|
|
|
|
After this Mrs. Bulstrode drove to her niece with a mind newly weighted.
|
|
She was herself handsomely dressed, but she noticed with a little
|
|
more regret than usual that Rosamond, who was just come in and
|
|
met her in walking-dress, was almost as expensively equipped.
|
|
Mrs. Bulstrode was a feminine smaller edition of her brother,
|
|
and had none of her husband's low-toned pallor. She had a good
|
|
honest glance and used no circumlocution.
|
|
|
|
"You are alone, I see, my dear," she said, as they entered the
|
|
drawing-room together, looking round gravely. Rosamond felt sure
|
|
that her aunt had something particular to say, and they sat down near
|
|
each other. Nevertheless, the quilling inside Rosamond's bonnet
|
|
was so charming that it was impossible not to desire the same kind
|
|
of thing for Kate, and Mrs. Bulstrode's eyes, which were rather fine,
|
|
rolled round that ample quilled circuit, while she spoke.
|
|
|
|
"I have just heard something about you that has surprised me
|
|
very much, Rosamond."
|
|
|
|
"What is that, aunt?" Rosamond's eyes also were roaming over her
|
|
aunt's large embroidered collar.
|
|
|
|
"I can hardly believe it--that you should be engaged without my
|
|
knowing it--without your father's telling me." Here Mrs. Bulstrode's
|
|
eyes finally rested on Rosamond's, who blushed deeply, and said--
|
|
|
|
"I am not engaged, aunt."
|
|
|
|
"How is it that every one says so, then--that it is the town's talk?"
|
|
|
|
"The town's talk is of very little consequence, I think,"
|
|
said Rosamond, inwardly gratified.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, my dear, be more thoughtful; don't despise your neighbors so.
|
|
Remember you are turned twenty-two now, and you will have no fortune:
|
|
your father, I am sure, will not be able to spare you anything.
|
|
Mr. Lydgate is very intellectual and clever; I know there is an
|
|
attraction in that. I like talking to such men myself; and your
|
|
uncle finds him very useful. But the profession is a poor one here.
|
|
To be sure, this life is not everything; but it is seldom a medical
|
|
man has true religious views--there is too much pride of intellect.
|
|
And you are not fit to marry a poor man.
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Lydgate is not a poor man, aunt. He has very high connections."
|
|
|
|
"He told me himself he was poor."
|
|
|
|
"That is because he is used to people who have a high style
|
|
|
|
"My dear Rosamond, YOU must not think of living in high style."
|
|
|
|
Rosamond looked down and played with her reticule. She was not
|
|
a fiery young lady and had no sharp answers, but she meant to live
|
|
as she pleased.
|
|
|
|
"Then it is really true?" said Mrs. Bulstrode, looking very earnestly
|
|
at her niece. "You are thinking of Mr. Lydgate--there is some
|
|
understanding between you, though your father doesn't know. Be open,
|
|
my dear Rosamond: Mr. Lydgate has really made you an offer?"
|
|
|
|
Poor Rosamond's feelings were very unpleasant. She had been quite
|
|
easy as to Lydgate's feeling and intention, but now when her aunt
|
|
put this question she did not like being unable to say Yes.
|
|
Her pride was hurt, but her habitual control of manner helped her.
|
|
|
|
"Pray excuse me, aunt. I would rather not speak on the subject."
|
|
|
|
"You would not give your heart to a man without a decided prospect,
|
|
I trust, my dear. And think of the two excellent offers I know
|
|
of that you have refused!--and one still within your reach, if you
|
|
will not throw it away. I knew a very great beauty who married
|
|
badly at last, by doing so. Mr. Ned Plymdale is a nice young man--
|
|
some might think good-looking; and an only son; and a large business
|
|
of that kind is better than a profession. Not that marrying
|
|
is everything I would have you seek first the kingdom of God.
|
|
But a girl should keep her heart within her own power."
|
|
|
|
"I should never give it to Mr. Ned Plymdale, if it were. I have already
|
|
refused him. If I loved, I should love at once and without change,"
|
|
said Rosamond, with a great sense of being a romantic heroine,
|
|
and playing the part prettily.
|
|
|
|
"I see how it is, my dear," said Mrs. Bulstrode, in a melancholy voice,
|
|
rising to go. "You have allowed your affections to be engaged
|
|
without return."
|
|
|
|
"No, indeed, aunt," said Rosamond, with emphasis.
|
|
|
|
"Then you are quite confident that Mr. Lydgate has a serious
|
|
attachment to you?"
|
|
|
|
Rosamond's cheeks by this time were persistently burning, and she
|
|
felt much mortification. She chose to be silent, and her aunt went
|
|
away all the more convinced.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode in things worldly and indifferent was disposed to do
|
|
what his wife bade him, and she now, without telling her reasons,
|
|
desired him on the next opportunity to find out in conversation
|
|
with Mr. Lydgate whether he had any intention of marrying soon.
|
|
The result was a decided negative. Mr. Bulstrode, on being
|
|
cross-questioned, showed that Lydgate had spoken as no man
|
|
would who had any attachment that could issue in matrimony.
|
|
Mrs. Bulstrode now felt that she had a serious duty before her,
|
|
and she soon managed to arrange a tete-a-tete with Lydgate,
|
|
in which she passed from inquiries about Fred Vincy's health,
|
|
and expressions of her sincere anxiety for her brother's large family,
|
|
to general remarks on the dangers which lay before young people
|
|
with regard to their settlement in life. Young men were often wild
|
|
and disappointing, making little return for the money spent on them,
|
|
and a girl was exposed to many circumstances which might interfere
|
|
with her prospects.
|
|
|
|
"Especially when she has great attractions, and her parents see
|
|
much company," said Mrs. Bulstrode "Gentlemen pay her attention,
|
|
and engross her all to themselves, for the mere pleasure of the moment,
|
|
and that drives off others. I think it is a heavy responsibility,
|
|
Mr. Lydgate, to interfere with the prospects of any girl."
|
|
Here Mrs. Bulstrode fixed her eyes on him, with an unmistakable
|
|
purpose of warning, if not of rebuke.
|
|
|
|
"Clearly," said Lydgate, looking at her--perhaps even staring
|
|
a little in return. "On the other hand, a man must be a great
|
|
coxcomb to go about with a notion that he must not pay attention
|
|
to a young lady lest she should fall in love with him, or lest
|
|
others should think she must."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, Mr. Lydgate, you know well what your advantages are.
|
|
You know that our young men here cannot cope with you. Where you
|
|
frequent a house it may militate very much against a girl's making
|
|
a desirable settlement in life, and prevent her from accepting
|
|
offers even if they are made."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate was less flattered by his advantage over the Middlemarch Orlandos
|
|
than he was annoyed by the perception of Mrs. Bulstrode's meaning.
|
|
She felt that she had spoken as impressively as it was necessary to do,
|
|
and that in using the superior word "militate" she had thrown a noble
|
|
drapery over a mass of particulars which were still evident enough.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate was fuming a little, pushed his hair back with one hand,
|
|
felt curiously in his waistcoat-pocket with the other, and then stooped
|
|
to beckon the tiny black spaniel, which had the insight to decline
|
|
his hollow caresses. It would not have been decent to go away,
|
|
because he had been dining with other guests, and had just taken tea.
|
|
But Mrs. Bulstrode, having no doubt that she had been understood,
|
|
turned the conversation.
|
|
|
|
Solomon's Proverbs, I think, have omitted to say, that as the sore
|
|
palate findeth grit, so an uneasy consciousness heareth innuendoes.
|
|
The next day Mr. Farebrother, parting from Lydgate in the street,
|
|
supposed that they should meet at Vincy's in the evening.
|
|
Lydgate answered curtly, no--he had work to do--he must give up going
|
|
out in the evening.
|
|
|
|
"What! you are going to get lashed to the mast, eh, and are stopping
|
|
your ears?" said the Vicar. "Well, if you don't mean to be won
|
|
by the sirens, you are right to take precautions in time."
|
|
|
|
A few days before, Lydgate would have taken no notice of these words
|
|
as anything more than the Vicar's usual way of putting things.
|
|
They seemed now to convey an innuendo which confirmed the impression
|
|
that he had been making a fool of himself and behaving so as to
|
|
be misunderstood: not, he believed, by Rosamond herself; she, he
|
|
felt sure, took everything as lightly as he intended it. She had
|
|
an exquisite tact and insight in relation to all points of manners;
|
|
but the people she lived among were blunderers and busybodies.
|
|
However, the mistake should go no farther. He resolved--and kept
|
|
his resolution--that he would not go to Mr. Vincy's except on business.
|
|
|
|
Rosamond became very unhappy. The uneasiness first stirred
|
|
by her aunt's questions grew and grew till at the end of ten
|
|
days that she had not seen Lydgate, it grew into terror at the
|
|
blank that might possibly come--into foreboding of that ready,
|
|
fatal sponge which so cheaply wipes out the hopes of mortals.
|
|
The world would have a new dreariness for her, as a wilderness that
|
|
a magician's spells had turned for a little while into a garden.
|
|
She felt that she was beginning to know the pang of disappointed love,
|
|
and that no other man could be the occasion of such delightful
|
|
aerial building as she had been enjoying for the last six months.
|
|
Poor Rosamond lost her appetite and felt as forlorn as Ariadne--
|
|
as a charming stage Ariadne left behind with all her boxes full of
|
|
costumes and no hope of a coach.
|
|
|
|
There are many wonderful mixtures in the world which are all
|
|
alike called love, and claim the privileges of a sublime rage
|
|
which is an apology for everything (in literature and the drama).
|
|
Happily Rosamond did not think of committing any desperate act:
|
|
she plaited her fair hair as beautifully as usual, and kept herself
|
|
proudly calm. Her most cheerful supposition was that her aunt
|
|
Bulstrode had interfered in some way to hinder Lydgate's visits:
|
|
everything was better than a spontaneous indifference in him.
|
|
Any one who imagines ten days too short a time--not for falling
|
|
into leanness, lightness, or other measurable effects of passion, but--
|
|
for the whole spiritual circuit of alarmed conjecture and disappointment,
|
|
is ignorant of what can go on in the elegant leisure of a young
|
|
lady's mind.
|
|
|
|
On the eleventh day, however, Lydgate when leaving Stone Court
|
|
was requested by Mrs. Vincy to let her husband know that there
|
|
was a marked change in Mr. Featherstone's health, and that she
|
|
wished him to come to Stone Court on that day. Now Lydgate
|
|
might have called at the warehouse, or might have written a
|
|
message on a leaf of his pocket-book and left it at the door.
|
|
Yet these simple devices apparently did not occur to him,
|
|
from which we may conclude that he had no strong objection to calling
|
|
at the house at an hour when Mr. Vincy was not at home, and leaving
|
|
the message with Miss Vincy. A man may, from various motives,
|
|
decline to give his company, but perhaps not even a sage would
|
|
be gratified that nobody missed him. It would be a graceful,
|
|
easy way of piecing on the new habits to the old, to have a few
|
|
playful words with Rosamond about his resistance to dissipation,
|
|
and his firm resolve to take long fasts even from sweet sounds.
|
|
It must be confessed, also, that momentary speculations as to all the
|
|
possible grounds for Mrs. Bulstrode's hints had managed to get woven
|
|
like slight clinging hairs into the more substantial web of his thoughts.
|
|
|
|
Miss Vincy was alone, and blushed so deeply when Lydgate came in that he
|
|
felt a corresponding embarrassment, and instead of any playfulness,
|
|
he began at once to speak of his reason for calling, and to beg her,
|
|
almost formally, to deliver the message to her father. Rosamond,
|
|
who at the first moment felt as if her happiness were returning,
|
|
was keenly hurt by Lydgate's manner; her blush had departed, and she
|
|
assented coldly, without adding an unnecessary word, some trivial
|
|
chain-work which she had in her hands enabling her to avoid looking
|
|
at Lydgate higher than his chin. In all failures, the beginning
|
|
is certainly the half of the whole. After sitting two long moments
|
|
while he moved his whip and could say nothing, Lydgate rose to go,
|
|
and Rosamond, made nervous by her struggle between mortification
|
|
and the wish not to betray it, dropped her chain as if startled,
|
|
and rose too, mechanically. Lydgate instantaneously stooped to pick
|
|
up the chain. When he rose he was very near to a lovely little
|
|
face set on a fair long neck which he had been used to see turning
|
|
about under the most perfect management of self-contented grace.
|
|
But as he raised his eyes now he saw a certain helpless quivering
|
|
which touched him quite newly, and made him look at Rosamond with a
|
|
questioning flash. At this moment she was as natural as she had ever
|
|
been when she was five years old: she felt that her tears had risen,
|
|
and it was no use to try to do anything else than let them stay
|
|
like water on a blue flower or let them fall over her cheeks,
|
|
even as they would.
|
|
|
|
That moment of naturalness was the crystallizing feather-touch:
|
|
it shook flirtation into love. Remember that the ambitious man
|
|
who was looking at those Forget-me-nots under the water was very
|
|
warm-hearted and rash. He did not know where the chain went;
|
|
an idea had thrilled through the recesses within him which had
|
|
a miraculous effect in raising the power of passionate love lying
|
|
buried there in no sealed sepulchre, but under the lightest,
|
|
easily pierced mould. His words were quite abrupt and awkward;
|
|
but the tone made them sound like an ardent, appealing avowal.
|
|
|
|
"What is the matter? you are distressed. Tell me, pray."
|
|
|
|
Rosamond had never been spoken to in such tones before. I am not sure
|
|
that she knew what the words were: but she looked at Lydgate and the
|
|
tears fell over her cheeks. There could have been no more complete
|
|
answer than that silence, and Lydgate, forgetting everything else,
|
|
completely mastered by the outrush of tenderness at the sudden
|
|
belief that this sweet young creature depended on him for her joy,
|
|
actually put his arms round her, folding her gently and protectingly--
|
|
he was used to being gentle with the weak and suffering--and kissed
|
|
each of the two large tears. This was a strange way of arriving
|
|
at an understanding, but it was a short way. Rosamond was
|
|
not angry, but she moved backward a little in timid happiness,
|
|
and Lydgate could now sit near her and speak less incompletely.
|
|
Rosamond had to make her little confession, and he poured out words
|
|
of gratitude and tenderness with impulsive lavishment. In half
|
|
an hour he left the house an engaged man, whose soul was not his own,
|
|
but the woman's to whom he had bound himself.
|
|
|
|
He came again in the evening to speak with Mr. Vincy, who, just returned
|
|
from Stone Court, was feeling sure that it would not be long before he
|
|
heard of Mr. Featherstone's demise. The felicitous word "demise,"
|
|
which had seasonably occurred to him, had raised his spirits even
|
|
above their usual evening pitch. The right word is always a power,
|
|
and communicates its definiteness to our action. Considered as
|
|
a demise, old Featherstone's death assumed a merely legal aspect,
|
|
so that Mr. Vincy could tap his snuff-box over it and be jovial,
|
|
without even an intermittent affectation of solemnity; and Mr. Vincy
|
|
hated both solemnity and affectation. Who was ever awe struck
|
|
about a testator, or sang a hymn on the title to real property?
|
|
Mr. Vincy was inclined to take a jovial view of all things that evening:
|
|
he even observed to Lydgate that Fred had got the family constitution
|
|
after all, and would soon be as fine a fellow as ever again;
|
|
and when his approbation of Rosamond's engagement was asked for,
|
|
he gave it with astonishing facility, passing at once to general
|
|
remarks on the desirableness of matrimony for young men and maidens,
|
|
and apparently deducing from the whole the appropriateness of a little
|
|
more punch.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XXXII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"They'll take suggestion as a cat laps milk."
|
|
--SHAKESPEARE: Tempest.
|
|
|
|
|
|
The triumphant confidence of the Mayor founded on Mr. Featherstone's
|
|
insistent demand that Fred and his mother should not leave him,
|
|
was a feeble emotion compared with all that was agitating the breasts
|
|
of the old man's blood-relations, who naturally manifested more
|
|
their sense of the family tie and were more visibly numerous now
|
|
that he had become bedridden. Naturally: for when "poor Peter"
|
|
had occupied his arm-chair in the wainscoted parlor, no assiduous
|
|
beetles for whom the cook prepares boiling water could have been
|
|
less welcome on a hearth which they had reasons for preferring,
|
|
than those persons whose Featherstone blood was ill-nourished, not
|
|
from penuriousness on their part, but from poverty. Brother Solomon
|
|
and Sister Jane were rich, and the family candor and total abstinence
|
|
from false politeness with which they were always received
|
|
seemed to them no argument that their brother in the solemn act
|
|
of making his will would overlook the superior claims of wealth.
|
|
Themselves at least he had never been unnatural enough to banish from
|
|
his house, and it seemed hardly eccentric that he should hare kept
|
|
away Brother Jonah, Sister Martha, and the rest, who had no shadow
|
|
of such claims. They knew Peter's maxim, that money was a good egg,
|
|
and should be laid in a warm nest.
|
|
|
|
But Brother Jonah, Sister Martha, and all the needy exiles, held a
|
|
different point of view. Probabilities are as various as the faces
|
|
to be seen at will in fretwork or paper-hangings: every form is there,
|
|
from Jupiter to Judy, if you only look with creative inclination.
|
|
To the poorer and least favored it seemed likely that since Peter
|
|
had done nothing for them in his life, he would remember them
|
|
at the last. Jonah argued that men liked to make a surprise of
|
|
their wills, while Martha said that nobody need be surprised if he
|
|
left the best part of his money to those who least expected it.
|
|
Also it was not to be thought but that an own brother "lying there"
|
|
with dropsy in his legs must come to feel that blood was thicker
|
|
than water, and if he didn't alter his will, he might have money
|
|
by him. At any rate some blood-relations should be on the premises
|
|
and on the watch against those who were hardly relations at all.
|
|
Such things had been known as forged wills and disputed wills,
|
|
which seemed to have the golden-hazy advantage of somehow enabling
|
|
non-legatees to live out of them. Again, those who were no
|
|
blood-relations might be caught making away with things--and poor
|
|
Peter "lying there" helpless! Somebody should be on the watch.
|
|
But in this conclusion they were at one with Solomon and Jane;
|
|
also, some nephews, nieces, and cousins, arguing with still greater
|
|
subtilty as to what might be done by a man able to "will away"
|
|
his property and give himself large treats of oddity, felt in a handsome
|
|
sort of way that there was a family interest to be attended to,
|
|
and thought of Stone Court as a place which it would be nothing
|
|
but right for them to visit. Sister Martha, otherwise Mrs. Cranch,
|
|
living with some wheeziness in the Chalky Flats, could not undertake
|
|
the journey; but her son, as being poor Peter's own nephew,
|
|
could represent her advantageously, and watch lest his uncle Jonah
|
|
should make an unfair use of the improbable things which seemed
|
|
likely to happen. In fact there was a general sense running in
|
|
the Featherstone blood that everybody must watch everybody else,
|
|
and that it would be well for everybody else to reflect that the
|
|
Almighty was watching him.
|
|
|
|
Thus Stone Court continually saw one or other blood-relation
|
|
alighting or departing, and Mary Garth had the unpleasant task
|
|
of carrying their messages to Mr. Featherstone, who would see
|
|
none of them, and sent her down with the still more unpleasant
|
|
task of telling them so. As manager of the household she felt
|
|
bound to ask them in good provincial fashion to stay and eat;
|
|
but she chose to consult Mrs. Vincy on the point of extra
|
|
down-stairs consumption now that Mr. Featherstone was laid up.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, my dear, you must do things handsomely where there's last
|
|
illness and a property. God knows, I don't grudge them every ham
|
|
in the house--only, save the best for the funeral. Have some stuffed
|
|
veal always, and a fine cheese in cut. You must expect to keep
|
|
open house in these last illnesses," said liberal Mrs. Vincy,
|
|
once more of cheerful note and bright plumage.
|
|
|
|
But some of the visitors alighted and did not depart after the handsome
|
|
treating to veal and ham. Brother Jonah, for example (there are
|
|
such unpleasant people in most families; perhaps even in the highest
|
|
aristocracy there are Brobdingnag specimens, gigantically in debt
|
|
and bloated at greater expense)--Brother Jonah, I say, having come
|
|
down in the world, was mainly supported by a calling which he was
|
|
modest enough not to boast of, though it was much better than swindling
|
|
either on exchange or turf, but which did not require his presence
|
|
at Brassing so long as he had a good corner to sit in and a supply
|
|
of food. He chose the kitchen-corner, partly because he liked
|
|
it best, and partly because he did not want to sit with Solomon,
|
|
concerning whom he had a strong brotherly opinion. Seated in a famous
|
|
arm-chair and in his best suit, constantly within sight of good cheer,
|
|
he had a comfortable consciousness of being on the premises,
|
|
mingled with fleeting suggestions of Sunday and the bar at the Green Man;
|
|
and he informed Mary Garth that he should not go out of reach of his
|
|
brother Peter while that poor fellow was above ground. The troublesome
|
|
ones in a family are usually either the wits or the idiots.
|
|
Jonah was the wit among the Featherstones, and joked with the maid-
|
|
servants when they came about the hearth, but seemed to consider
|
|
Miss Garth a suspicious character, and followed her with cold eyes.
|
|
|
|
Mary would have borne this one pair of eyes with comparative ease,
|
|
but unfortunately there was young Cranch, who, having come all
|
|
the way from the Chalky Flats to represent his mother and watch
|
|
his uncle Jonah, also felt it his duty to stay and to sit chiefly
|
|
in the kitchen to give his uncle company. Young Cranch was not
|
|
exactly the balancing point between the wit and the idiot,--
|
|
verging slightly towards the latter type, and squinting so as to
|
|
leave everything in doubt about his sentiments except that they
|
|
were not of a forcible character. When Mary Garth entered the
|
|
kitchen and Mr. Jonah Featherstone began to follow her with his cold
|
|
detective eyes, young Cranch turning his head in the same direction
|
|
seemed to insist on it that she should remark how he was squinting,
|
|
as if he did it with design, like the gypsies when Borrow read
|
|
the New Testament to them. This was rather too much for poor Mary;
|
|
sometimes it made her bilious, sometimes it upset her gravity.
|
|
One day that she had an opportunity she could not resist describing
|
|
the kitchen scene to Fred, who would not be hindered from
|
|
immediately going to see it, affecting simply to pass through.
|
|
But no sooner did he face the four eyes than he had to rush through
|
|
the nearest door which happened to lead to the dairy, and there
|
|
under the high roof and among the pans he gave way to laughter
|
|
which made a hollow resonance perfectly audible in the kitchen.
|
|
He fled by another doorway, but Mr. Jonah, who had not before seen
|
|
Fred's white complexion, long legs, and pinched delicacy of face,
|
|
prepared many sarcasms in which these points of appearance were
|
|
wittily combined with the lowest moral attributes.
|
|
|
|
"Why, Tom, YOU don't wear such gentlemanly trousers--
|
|
you haven't got half such fine long legs," said Jonah to his nephew,
|
|
winking at the same time, to imply that there was something more in
|
|
these statements than their undeniableness. Tom looked at his legs,
|
|
but left it uncertain whether he preferred his moral advantages
|
|
to a more vicious length of limb and reprehensible gentility of trouser.
|
|
|
|
In the large wainscoted parlor too there were constantly pairs
|
|
of eyes on the watch, and own relatives eager to be "sitters-up."
|
|
Many came, lunched, and departed, but Brother Solomon and the lady
|
|
who had been Jane Featherstone for twenty-five years before she
|
|
was Mrs. Waule found it good to be there every day for hoars,
|
|
without other calculable occupation than that of observing the
|
|
cunning Mary Garth (who was so deep that she could be found out
|
|
in nothing) and giving occasional dry wrinkly indications of crying--
|
|
as if capable of torrents in a wetter season--at the thought
|
|
that they were not allowed to go into Mr. Featherstone's room.
|
|
For the old man's dislike of his own family seemed to get stronger
|
|
as he got less able to amuse himself by saying biting things to them.
|
|
Too languid to sting, he had the more venom refluent in his blood.
|
|
|
|
Not fully believing the message sent through Mary Garth, they had
|
|
presented themselves together within the door of the bedroom,
|
|
both in black--Mrs. Waule having a white handkerchief partially unfolded
|
|
in her hand--and both with faces in a sort of half-mourning purple;
|
|
while Mrs. Vincy with her pink cheeks and pink ribbons flying
|
|
was actually administering a cordial to their own brother,
|
|
and the light-complexioned Fred, his short hair curling as might
|
|
be expected in a gambler's, was lolling at his ease in a large chair.
|
|
|
|
Old Featherstone no sooner caught sight of these funereal figures
|
|
appearing in spite of his orders than rage came to strengthen
|
|
him more successfully than the cordial. He was propped up on
|
|
a bed-rest, and always had his gold-headed stick lying by him.
|
|
He seized it now and swept it backwards and forwards in as large
|
|
an area as he could, apparently to ban these ugly spectres,
|
|
crying in a hoarse sort of screech--
|
|
|
|
"Back, back, Mrs. Waule! Back, Solomon!"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, Brother. Peter," Mrs. Waule began--but Solomon put his hand
|
|
before her repressingly. He was a large-cheeked man, nearly seventy,
|
|
with small furtive eyes, and was not only of much blander temper but
|
|
thought himself much deeper than his brother Peter; indeed not likely
|
|
to be deceived in any of his fellow-men, inasmuch as they could not
|
|
well be more greedy and deceitful than he suspected them of being.
|
|
Even the invisible powers, he thought, were likely to be soothed
|
|
by a bland parenthesis here and there--coming from a man of property,
|
|
who might have been as impious as others.
|
|
|
|
"Brother Peter," he said, in a wheedling yet gravely official tone,
|
|
"It's nothing but right I should speak to you about the Three Crofts
|
|
and the Manganese. The Almighty knows what I've got on my mind--"
|
|
|
|
"Then he knows more than I want to know," said Peter, laying down
|
|
his stick with a show of truce which had a threat in it too,
|
|
for he reversed the stick so as to make the gold handle a club
|
|
in case of closer fighting, and looked hard at Solomon's bald head.
|
|
|
|
"There's things you might repent of, Brother, for want of speaking
|
|
to me," said Solomon, not advancing, however. "I could sit up
|
|
with you to-night, and Jane with me, willingly, and you might take
|
|
your own time to speak, or let me speak."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I shall take my own time--you needn't offer me yours,"
|
|
said Peter.
|
|
|
|
"But you can't take your own time to die in, Brother," began Mrs. Waule,
|
|
with her usual woolly tone. "And when you lie speechless you may
|
|
be tired of having strangers about you, and you may think of me
|
|
and my children"--but here her voice broke under the touching
|
|
thought which she was attributing to her speechless brother;
|
|
the mention of ourselves being naturally affecting.
|
|
|
|
"No, I shan't," said old Featherstone, contradictiously.
|
|
"I shan't think of any of you. I've made my will, I tell you,
|
|
I've made my will." Here he turned his head towards Mrs. Vincy,
|
|
and swallowed some more of his cordial.
|
|
|
|
"Some people would be ashamed to fill up a place belonging by rights to
|
|
others," said Mrs. Waule, turning her narrow eyes in the same direction.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, sister," said Solomon, with ironical softness, "you and me
|
|
are not fine, and handsome, and clever enough: we must be humble
|
|
and let smart people push themselves before us."
|
|
|
|
Fred's spirit could not bear this: rising and looking
|
|
at Mr. Featherstone, he said, "Shall my mother
|
|
and I leave the room, sir, that you may be alone with your friends?"
|
|
|
|
"Sit down, I tell you," said old Featherstone, snappishly.
|
|
"Stop where you are. Good-by, Solomon," he added, trying to wield
|
|
his stick again, but failing now that he had reversed the handle.
|
|
"Good-by, Mrs. Waule. Don't you come again."
|
|
|
|
"I shall be down-stairs, Brother, whether or no," said Solomon.
|
|
"I shall do my duty, and it remains to be seen what the Almighty
|
|
will allow."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, in property going out of families," said Mrs. Waule,
|
|
in continuation,--"and where there's steady young men to carry on.
|
|
But I pity them who are not such, and I pity their mothers.
|
|
Good-by, Brother Peter."
|
|
|
|
"Remember, I'm the eldest after you, Brother, and prospered from
|
|
the first, just as you did, and have got land already by the name
|
|
of Featherstone," said Solomon, relying much on that reflection,
|
|
as one which might be suggested in the watches of the night.
|
|
"But I bid you good-by for the present."
|
|
|
|
Their exit was hastened by their seeing old Mr. Featherstone pull his
|
|
wig on each side and shut his eyes with his mouth-widening grimace,
|
|
as if he were determined to be deaf and blind.
|
|
|
|
None the less they came to Stone Court daily and sat below at the post
|
|
of duty, sometimes carrying on a slow dialogue in an undertone in which
|
|
the observation and response were so far apart, that any one hearing
|
|
them might have imagined himself listening to speaking automata,
|
|
in some doubt whether the ingenious mechanism would really work,
|
|
or wind itself up for a long time in order to stick and be silent.
|
|
Solomon and Jane would have been sorry to be quick: what that led
|
|
to might be seen on the other side of the wall in the person
|
|
of Brother Jonah.
|
|
|
|
But their watch in the wainscoted parlor was sometimes varied
|
|
by the presence of other guests from far or near. Now that Peter
|
|
Featherstone was up-stairs, his property could be discussed with
|
|
all that local enlightenment to be found on the spot: some rural
|
|
and Middlemarch neighbors expressed much agreement with the family
|
|
and sympathy with their interest against the Vincys, and feminine
|
|
visitors were even moved to tears, in conversation with Mrs. Waule,
|
|
when they recalled the fact that they themselves had been disappointed
|
|
in times past by codicils and marriages for spite on the part
|
|
of ungrateful elderly gentlemen, who, it might have been supposed,
|
|
had been spared for something better. Such conversation paused suddenly,
|
|
like an organ when the bellows are let drop, if Mary Garth came into
|
|
the room; and all eyes were turned on her as a possible legatee,
|
|
or one who might get access to iron chests.
|
|
|
|
But the younger men who were relatives or connections of the family,
|
|
were disposed to admire her in this problematic light, as a girl
|
|
who showed much conduct, and who among all the chances that were
|
|
flying might turn out to be at least a moderate prize. Hence she
|
|
had her share of compliments and polite attentions.
|
|
|
|
Especially from Mr. Borthrop Trumbull, a distinguished bachelor
|
|
and auctioneer of those parts, much concerned in the sale of land
|
|
and cattle: a public character, indeed, whose name was seen on widely
|
|
distributed placards, and who might reasonably be sorry for those who
|
|
did not know of him. He was second cousin to Peter Featherstone,
|
|
and had been treated by him with more amenity than any other relative,
|
|
being useful in matters of business; and in that programme of his
|
|
funeral which the old man had himself dictated, he had been named
|
|
as a Bearer. There was no odious cupidity in Mr. Borthrop Trumbull--
|
|
nothing more than a sincere sense of his own merit, which, he was aware,
|
|
in case of rivalry might tell against competitors; so that if Peter
|
|
Featherstone, who so far as he, Trumbull, was concerned, had behaved
|
|
like as good a soul as ever breathed, should have done anything handsome
|
|
by him, all he could say was, that he had never fished and fawned,
|
|
but had advised him to the best of his experience, which now extended
|
|
over twenty years from the time of his apprenticeship at fifteen,
|
|
and was likely to yield a knowledge of no surreptitious kind.
|
|
His admiration was far from being confined to himself, but was
|
|
accustomed professionally as well as privately to delight in estimating
|
|
things at a high rate. He was an amateur of superior phrases,
|
|
and never used poor language without immediately correcting himself--
|
|
which was fortunate, as he was rather loud, and given to predominate,
|
|
standing or walking about frequently, pulling down his waistcoat
|
|
with the air of a man who is very much of his own opinion,
|
|
trimming himself rapidly with his fore-finger, and marking each new
|
|
series in these movements by a busy play with his large seals.
|
|
There was occasionally a little fierceness in his demeanor,
|
|
but it was directed chiefly against false opinion, of which there
|
|
is so much to correct in the world that a man of some reading
|
|
and experience necessarily has his patience tried. He felt that
|
|
the Featherstone family generally was of limited understanding,
|
|
but being a man of the world and a public character, took everything
|
|
as a matter of course, and even went to converse with Mr. Jonah
|
|
and young Cranch in the kitchen, not doubting that he had impressed
|
|
the latter greatly by his leading questions concerning the
|
|
Chalky Flats. If anybody had observed that Mr. Borthrop Trumbull,
|
|
being an auctioneer, was bound to know the nature of everything,
|
|
he would have smiled and trimmed himself silently with the sense
|
|
that he came pretty near that. On the whole, in an auctioneering way,
|
|
he was an honorable man, not ashamed of his business, and feeling
|
|
that "the celebrated Peel, now Sir Robert," if introduced to him,
|
|
would not fail to recognize his importance.
|
|
|
|
"I don't mind if I have a slice of that ham, and a glass of that ale,
|
|
Miss Garth, if you will allow me," he said, coming into the parlor
|
|
at half-past eleven, after having had the exceptional privilege
|
|
of seeing old Featherstone, and standing with his back to the fire
|
|
between Mrs. Waule and Solomon.
|
|
|
|
"It's not necessary for you to go out;--let me ring the bell."
|
|
|
|
"Thank you," said Mary, "I have an errand."
|
|
|
|
"Well, Mr. Trumbull, you're highly favored," said Mrs. Waule.
|
|
|
|
"What! seeing the old man?" said the auctioneer, playing with his seals
|
|
dispassionately. "Ah, you see he has relied on me considerably."
|
|
Here he pressed his lips together, and frowned meditatively.
|
|
|
|
"Might anybody ask what their brother has been saying?" said Solomon,
|
|
in a soft tone of humility, in which he had a sense of luxurious cunning,
|
|
he being a rich man and not in need of it.
|
|
|
|
"Oh yes, anybody may ask," said Mr. Trumbull, with loud and
|
|
good-humored though cutting sarcasm. "Anybody may interrogate.
|
|
Any one may give their remarks an interrogative turn," he continued,
|
|
his sonorousness rising with his style. "This is constantly done
|
|
by good speakers, even when they anticipate no answer. It is what we
|
|
call a figure of speech--speech at a high figure, as one may say."
|
|
The eloquent auctioneer smiled at his own ingenuity.
|
|
|
|
"I shouldn't be sorry to hear he'd remembered you, Mr. Trumbull,"
|
|
said Solomon. "I never was against the deserving. It's the
|
|
undeserving I'm against."
|
|
|
|
"Ah, there it is, you see, there it is," said Mr. Trumbull,
|
|
significantly. "It can't be denied that undeserving people have
|
|
been legatees, and even residuary legatees. It is so, with testamentary
|
|
dispositions." Again he pursed up his lips and frowned a little.
|
|
|
|
"Do you mean to say for certain, Mr. Trumbull, that my brother has
|
|
left his land away from our family?" said Mrs. Waule, on whom,
|
|
as an unhopeful woman, those long words had a depressing effect.
|
|
|
|
"A man might as well turn his land into charity land at once as
|
|
leave it to some people," observed Solomon, his sister's question
|
|
having drawn no answer.
|
|
|
|
"What, Blue-Coat land?" said Mrs. Waule, again. "Oh, Mr. Trumbull,
|
|
you never can mean to say that. It would be flying in the face
|
|
of the Almighty that's prospered him."
|
|
|
|
While Mrs. Waule was speaking, Mr. Borthrop Trumbull walked
|
|
away from the fireplace towards the window, patrolling with
|
|
his fore-finger round the inside of his stock, then along his
|
|
whiskers and the curves of his hair. He now walked to Miss
|
|
Garth's work-table, opened a book which lay there and read
|
|
the title aloud with pompous emphasis as if he were offering it for sale:
|
|
|
|
"`Anne of Geierstein' (pronounced Jeersteen) or the `Maiden
|
|
of the Mist, by the author of Waverley.'" Then turning the page,
|
|
he began sonorously--"The course of four centuries has well-nigh
|
|
elapsed since the series of events which are related in the
|
|
following chapters took place on the Continent." He pronounced
|
|
the last truly admirable word with the accent on the last syllable,
|
|
not as unaware of vulgar usage, but feeling that this novel delivery
|
|
enhanced the sonorous beauty which his reading had given to the whole.
|
|
|
|
And now the servant came in with the tray, so that the moments
|
|
for answering Mrs. Waule's question had gone by safely, while she
|
|
and Solomon, watching Mr. Trumbull's movements, were thinking that
|
|
high learning interfered sadly with serious affairs. Mr. Borthrop
|
|
Trumbull really knew nothing about old Featherstone's will;
|
|
but he could hardly have been brought to declare any ignorance
|
|
unless he had been arrested for misprision of treason.
|
|
|
|
"I shall take a mere mouthful of ham and a glass of ale,"
|
|
he said, reassuringly. "As a man with public business, I take a snack
|
|
when I can. I will back this ham," he added, after swallowing some
|
|
morsels with alarming haste, "against any ham in the three kingdoms.
|
|
In my opinion it is better than the hams at Freshitt Hall--
|
|
and I think I am a tolerable judge."
|
|
|
|
"Some don't like so much sugar in their hams," said Mrs. Waule.
|
|
"But my poor brother would always have sugar."
|
|
|
|
"If any person demands better, he is at liberty to do so;
|
|
but, God bless me, what an aroma! I should be glad to buy in
|
|
that quality, I know. There is some gratification to a gentleman"--
|
|
here Mr. Trumbull's voice conveyed an emotional remonstrance--
|
|
"in having this kind of ham set on his table."
|
|
|
|
He pushed aside his plate, poured out his glass of ale and drew
|
|
his chair a little forward, profiting by the occasion to look
|
|
at the inner side of his legs, which he stroked approvingly--
|
|
Mr. Trumbull having all those less frivolous airs and gestures
|
|
which distinguish the predominant races of the north.
|
|
|
|
"You have an interesting work there, I see, Miss Garth," he observed,
|
|
when Mary re-entered. "It is by the author of `Waverley': that
|
|
is Sir Walter Scott. I have bought one of his works myself--
|
|
a very nice thing, a very superior publication, entitled `Ivanhoe.'
|
|
You will not get any writer to beat him in a hurry, I think--
|
|
he will not, in my opinion, be speedily surpassed. I have just been
|
|
reading a portion at the commencement of `Anne of Jeersteen.'
|
|
It commences well." (Things never began with Mr. Borthrop Trumbull:
|
|
they al ways commenced, both in private life and on his handbills.)
|
|
"You are a reader, I see. Do you subscribe to our Middlemarch library?"
|
|
|
|
"No," said Mary. "Mr. Fred Vincy brought this book."
|
|
|
|
"I am a great bookman myself," returned Mr. Trumbull.
|
|
"I have no less than two hundred volumes in calf, and I
|
|
flatter myself they are well selected. Also pictures
|
|
by Murillo, Rubens, Teniers, Titian, Vandyck, and others.
|
|
I shall be happy to lend you any work you like to mention, Miss Garth."
|
|
|
|
"I am much obliged," said Mary, hastening away again, "but I have
|
|
little time for reading."
|
|
|
|
"I should say my brother has done something for HER in his will,"
|
|
said Mr. Solomon, in a very low undertone, when she had shut the door
|
|
behind her, pointing with his head towards the absent Mary.
|
|
|
|
"His first wife was a poor match for him, though," said Mrs. Waule.
|
|
"She brought him nothing: and this young woman is only her niece,--
|
|
and very proud. And my brother has always paid her wage."
|
|
|
|
"A sensible girl though, in my opinion," said Mr. Trumbull, finishing his
|
|
ale and starting up with an emphatic adjustment of his waistcoat.
|
|
"I have observed her when she has been mixing medicine in drops.
|
|
She minds what she is doing, sir. That is a great point in a woman,
|
|
and a great point for our friend up-stairs, poor dear old soul.
|
|
A man whose life is of any value should think of his wife as a nurse:
|
|
that is what I should do, if I married; and I believe I have lived
|
|
single long enough not to make a mistake in that line. Some men
|
|
must marry to elevate themselves a little, but when I am in need
|
|
of that, I hope some one will tell me so--I hope some individual
|
|
will apprise me of the fact. I wish you good morning, Mrs. Waule.
|
|
Good morning, Mr. Solomon. I trust we shall meet under less
|
|
melancholy auspices."
|
|
|
|
When Mr. Trumbull had departed with a fine bow, Solomon,
|
|
leaning forward, observed to his sister, "You may depend,
|
|
Jane, my brother has left that girl a lumping sum."
|
|
|
|
"Anybody would think so, from the way Mr. Trumbull talks,"
|
|
said Jane. Then, after a pause, "He talks as if my daughters
|
|
wasn't to be trusted to give drops."
|
|
|
|
"Auctioneers talk wild," said Solomon. "Not but what Trumbull has
|
|
made money."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XXXIII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Close up his eyes and draw the curtain close;
|
|
And let us all to meditation."
|
|
--2 Henry VI.
|
|
|
|
|
|
That night after twelve o'clock Mary Garth relieved the watch in
|
|
Mr. Featherstone's room, and sat there alone through the small hours.
|
|
She often chose this task, in which she found some pleasure,
|
|
notwithstanding the old man's testiness whenever he demanded
|
|
her attentions. There were intervals in which she could sit
|
|
perfectly still, enjoying the outer stillness and the subdued light.
|
|
The red fire with its gently audible movement seemed like a solemn
|
|
existence calmly independent of the petty passions, the imbecile desires,
|
|
the straining after worthless uncertainties, which were daily moving
|
|
her contempt. Mary was fond of her own thoughts, and could amuse
|
|
herself well sitting in twilight with her hands in her lap; for,
|
|
having early had strong reason to believe that things were not likely
|
|
to be arranged for her peculiar satisfaction, she wasted no time
|
|
in astonishment and annoyance at that fact. And she had already
|
|
come to take life very much as a comedy in which she had a proud,
|
|
nay, a generous resolution not to act the mean or treacherous part.
|
|
Mary might have become cynical if she had not had parents whom
|
|
she honored, and a well of affectionate gratitude within her, which
|
|
was all the fuller because she had learned to make no unreasonable claims.
|
|
|
|
She sat to-night revolving, as she was wont, the scenes of the day,
|
|
her lips often curling with amusement at the oddities to which her fancy
|
|
added fresh drollery: people were so ridiculous with their illusions,
|
|
carrying their fool's caps unawares, thinking their own lies
|
|
opaque while everybody else's were transparent, making themselves
|
|
exceptions to everything, as if when all the world looked yellow
|
|
under a lamp they alone were rosy. Yet there were some illusions
|
|
under Mary's eyes which were not quite comic to her. She was
|
|
secretly convinced, though she had no other grounds than her close
|
|
observation of old Featherstone's nature, that in spite of his
|
|
fondness for having the Vincys about him, they were as likely to be
|
|
disappointed as any of the relations whom he kept at a distance.
|
|
She had a good deal of disdain for Mrs. Vincy's evident alarm lest
|
|
she and Fred should be alone together, but it did not hinder her
|
|
from thinking anxiously of the way in which Fred would be affected,
|
|
if it should turn out that his uncle had left him as poor as ever.
|
|
She could make a butt of Fred when he was present, but she did
|
|
not enjoy his follies when he was absent.
|
|
|
|
Yet she liked her thoughts: a vigorous young mind not overbalanced
|
|
by passion, finds a good in making acquaintance with life, and watches
|
|
its own powers with interest. Mary had plenty of merriment within.
|
|
|
|
Her thought was not veined by any solemnity or pathos about
|
|
the old man on the bed: such sentiments are easier to affect
|
|
than to feel about an aged creature whose life is not visibly
|
|
anything but a remnant of vices. She had always seen the most
|
|
disagreeable side of Mr. Featherstone. he was not proud of her,
|
|
and she was only useful to him. To be anxious about a soul that is
|
|
always snapping at you must be left to the saints of the earth;
|
|
and Mary was not one of them. She had never returned him a
|
|
harsh word, and had waited on him faithfully: that was her utmost.
|
|
Old Featherstone himself was not in the least anxious about his soul,
|
|
and had declined to see Mr. Tucker on the subject.
|
|
|
|
To-night he had not snapped, and for the first hour or two he lay
|
|
remarkably still, until at last Mary heard him rattling his bunch of
|
|
keys against the tin box which he always kept in the bed beside him.
|
|
About three o'clock he said, with remarkable distinctness,
|
|
"Missy, come here!"
|
|
|
|
Mary obeyed, and found that he had already drawn the tin box
|
|
from under the clothes, though he usually asked to have this done
|
|
for him; and he had selected the key. He now unlocked the box,
|
|
and, drawing from it another key, looked straight at her with eyes
|
|
that seemed to have recovered all their sharpness and said,
|
|
"How many of 'em are in the house?"
|
|
|
|
"You mean of your own relations, sir," said Mary, well used
|
|
to the old man's way of speech. He nodded slightly and she went on.
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Jonah Featherstone and young Cranch are sleeping here."
|
|
|
|
"Oh ay, they stick, do they? and the rest--they come every day,
|
|
I'll warrant--Solomon and Jane, and all the young uns?
|
|
They come peeping, and counting and casting up?"
|
|
|
|
"Not all of them every day. Mr. Solomon and Mrs. Waule are here
|
|
every day, and the others come often."
|
|
|
|
The old man listened with a grimace while she spoke, and then said,
|
|
relaxing his face, "The more fools they. You hearken, missy.
|
|
It's three o'clock in the morning, and I've got all my faculties
|
|
as well as ever I had in my life. I know all my property,
|
|
and where the money's put out, and everything. And I've made
|
|
everything ready to change my mind, and do as I like at the last.
|
|
Do you hear, missy? I've got my faculties."
|
|
|
|
"Well, sir?" said Mary, quietly.
|
|
|
|
He now lowered his tone with an air of deeper cunning. "I've made
|
|
two wills, and I'm going to burn one. Now you do as I tell you.
|
|
This is the key of my iron chest, in the closet there. You push well
|
|
at the side of the brass plate at the top, till it goes like a bolt:
|
|
then you can put the key in the front lock and turn it. See and
|
|
do that; and take out the topmost paper--Last Will and Testament--
|
|
big printed."
|
|
|
|
"No, sir," said Mary, in a firm voice, "I cannot do that."
|
|
|
|
"Not do it? I tell you, you must," said the old man, his voice
|
|
beginning to shake under the shock of this resistance.
|
|
|
|
"I cannot touch your iron chest or your will. I must refuse to do
|
|
anything that might lay me open to suspicion."
|
|
|
|
"I tell you, I'm in my right mind. Shan't I do as I like at the last?
|
|
I made two wills on purpose. Take the key, I say."
|
|
|
|
"No, sir, I will not," said Mary, more resolutely still.
|
|
Her repulsion was getting stronger.
|
|
|
|
"I tell you, there's no time to lose."
|
|
|
|
"I cannot help that, sir. I will not let the close of your life
|
|
soil the beginning of mine. I will not touch your iron chest
|
|
or your will." She moved to a little distance from the bedside.
|
|
|
|
The old man paused with a blank stare for a little while, holding the
|
|
one key erect on the ring; then with an agitated jerk he began
|
|
to work with his bony left hand at emptying the tin box before him.
|
|
|
|
"Missy," he began to say, hurriedly, "look here! take the money--
|
|
the notes and gold--look here--take it--you shall have it all--
|
|
do as I tell you."
|
|
|
|
He made an effort to stretch out the key towards her as far
|
|
as possible, and Mary again retreated.
|
|
|
|
"I will not touch your key or your money, sir. Pray don't ask me
|
|
to do it again. If you do, I must go and call your brother."
|
|
|
|
He let his hand fall, and for the first time in her life Mary
|
|
saw old Peter Featherstone begin to cry childishly. She said,
|
|
in as gentle a tone as she could command, "Pray put up your money,
|
|
sir;" and then went away to her seat by the fire, hoping this
|
|
would help to convince him that it was useless to say more.
|
|
Presently he rallied and said eagerly--
|
|
|
|
"Look here, then. Call the young chap. Call Fred Vincy."
|
|
|
|
Mary's heart began to beat more quickly. Various ideas rushed
|
|
through her mind as to what the burning of a second will might imply.
|
|
She had to make a difficult decision in a hurry.
|
|
|
|
"I will call him, if you will let me call Mr. Jonah and others
|
|
with him."
|
|
|
|
"Nobody else, I say. The young chap. I shall do as I like."
|
|
|
|
"Wait till broad daylight, sir, when every one is stirring.
|
|
Or let me call Simmons now, to go and fetch the lawyer? He can be
|
|
here in less than two hours."
|
|
|
|
"Lawyer? What do I want with the lawyer? Nobody shall know--I say,
|
|
nobody shall know. I shall do as I like."
|
|
|
|
"Let me call some one else, sir," said Mary, persuasively. She did
|
|
not like her position--alone with the old man, who seemed to show
|
|
a strange flaring of nervous energy which enabled him to speak again
|
|
and again without falling into his usual cough; yet she desired
|
|
not to push unnecessarily the contradiction which agitated him.
|
|
"Let me, pray, call some one else."
|
|
|
|
"You let me alone, I say. Look here, missy. Take the money.
|
|
You'll never have the chance again. It's pretty nigh two hundred--
|
|
there's more in the box, and nobody knows how much there was.
|
|
Take it and do as I tell you."
|
|
|
|
Mary, standing by the fire, saw its red light falling on the old man,
|
|
propped up on his pillows and bed-rest, with his bony hand holding
|
|
out the key, and the money lying on the quilt before him. She never
|
|
forgot that vision of a man wanting to do as he liked at the last.
|
|
But the way in which he had put the offer of the money urged her to
|
|
speak with harder resolution than ever.
|
|
|
|
"It is of no use, sir. I will not do it. Put up your money.
|
|
I will not touch your money. I will do anything else I can to
|
|
comfort you; but I will not touch your keys or your money."
|
|
|
|
"Anything else anything else!" said old Featherstone, with hoarse
|
|
rage, which, as if in a nightmare, tried to be loud, and yet was
|
|
only just audible. "I want nothing else. You come here--you come here."
|
|
|
|
Mary approached him cautiously, knowing him too well. She saw him
|
|
dropping his keys and trying to grasp his stick, while he looked
|
|
at her like an aged hyena, the muscles of his face getting distorted
|
|
with the effort of his hand. She paused at a safe distance.
|
|
|
|
"Let me give you some cordial," she said, quietly, "and try to
|
|
compose yourself. You will perhaps go to sleep. And to-morrow
|
|
by daylight you can do as you like."
|
|
|
|
He lifted the stick, in spite of her being beyond his reach,
|
|
and threw it with a hard effort which was but impotence.
|
|
It fell, slipping over the foot of the bed. Mary let it lie,
|
|
and retreated to her chair by the fire. By-and-by she would
|
|
go to him with the cordial. Fatigue would make him passive.
|
|
It was getting towards the chillest moment of the morning,
|
|
the fire had got low, and she could see through the chink between
|
|
the moreen window-curtains the light whitened by the blind.
|
|
Having put some wood on the fire and thrown a shawl over her,
|
|
she sat down, hoping that Mr. Featherstone might now fall asleep.
|
|
If she went near him the irritation might be kept up. He had said
|
|
nothing after throwing the stick, but she had seen him taking
|
|
his keys again and laying his right hand on the money. He did
|
|
not put it up, however, and she thought that he was dropping off
|
|
to sleep.
|
|
|
|
But Mary herself began to be more agitated by the remembrance
|
|
of what she had gone through, than she had been by the reality--
|
|
questioning those acts of hers which had come imperatively and
|
|
excluded all question in the critical moment.
|
|
|
|
Presently the dry wood sent out a flame which illuminated every crevice,
|
|
and Mary saw that the old man was lying quietly with his head turned
|
|
a little on one side. She went towards him with inaudible steps,
|
|
and thought that his face looked strangely motionless; but the next
|
|
moment the movement of the flame communicating itself to all objects
|
|
made her uncertain. The violent beating of her heart rendered
|
|
her perceptions so doubtful that even when she touched him and
|
|
listened for his breathing, she could not trust her conclusions.
|
|
She went to the window and gently propped aside the curtain and blind,
|
|
so that the still light of the sky fell on the bed.
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|
|
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The next moment she ran to the bell and rang it energetically.
|
|
In a very little while there was no longer any doubt that Peter
|
|
Featherstone was dead, with his right hand clasping the keys,
|
|
and his left hand lying on the heap of notes and gold.
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BOOK IV.
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THREE LOVE PROBLEMS.
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CHAPTER XXXIV.
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1st Gent. Such men as this are feathers, chips, and straws.
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Carry no weight, no force.
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2d Gent. But levity
|
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Is causal too, and makes the sum of weight.
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|
For power finds its place in lack of power;
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Advance is cession, and the driven ship
|
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May run aground because the helmsman's thought
|
|
Lacked force to balance opposites."
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It was on a morning of May that Peter Featherstone was buried.
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|
In the prosaic neighborhood of Middlemarch, May was not always warm
|
|
and sunny, and on this particular morning a chill wind was blowing
|
|
the blossoms from the surrounding gardens on to the green mounds
|
|
of Lowick churchyard. Swiftly moving clouds only now and then
|
|
allowed a gleam to light up any object, whether ugly or beautiful,
|
|
that happened to stand within its golden shower. In the churchyard
|
|
the objects were remarkably various, for there was a little country
|
|
crowd waiting to see the funeral. The news had spread that it
|
|
was to be a "big burying;" the old gentleman had left written
|
|
directions about everything and meant to have a funeral "beyond
|
|
his betters." This was true; for old Featherstone had not been
|
|
a Harpagon whose passions had all been devoured by the ever-lean
|
|
and ever-hungry passion of saving, and who would drive a bargain
|
|
with his undertaker beforehand. He loved money, but he also
|
|
loved to spend it in gratifying his peculiar tastes, and perhaps
|
|
he loved it best of all as a means of making others feel his
|
|
power more or less uncomfortably. If any one will here contend
|
|
that there must have been traits of goodness in old Featherstone,
|
|
I will not presume to deny this; but I must observe that goodness
|
|
is of a modest nature, easily discouraged, and when much privacy,
|
|
elbowed in early life by unabashed vices, is apt to retire into
|
|
extreme privacy, so that it is more easily believed in by those who
|
|
construct a selfish old gentleman theoretically, than by those who
|
|
form the narrower judgments based on his personal acquaintance.
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|
In any case, he had been bent on having a handsome funeral, and on
|
|
having persons "bid" to it who would rather have stayed at home.
|
|
He had even desired that female relatives should follow him to
|
|
the grave, and poor sister Martha had taken a difficult journey
|
|
for this purpose from the Chalky Flats. She and Jane would have
|
|
been altogether cheered (in a tearful manner) by this sign that
|
|
a brother who disliked seeing them while he was living had been
|
|
prospectively fond of their presence when he should have become
|
|
a testator, if the sign had not been made equivocal by being extended
|
|
to Mrs. Vincy, whose expense in handsome crape seemed to imply
|
|
the most presumptuous hopes, aggravated by a bloom of complexion
|
|
which told pretty plainly that she was not a blood-relation,
|
|
but of that generally objectionable class called wife's kin.
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We are all of us imaginative in some form or other, for images
|
|
are the brood of desire; and poor old Featherstone, who laughed
|
|
much at the way in which others cajoled themselves, did not escape
|
|
the fellowship of illusion. In writing the programme for his burial
|
|
he certainly did not make clear to himself that his pleasure in the
|
|
little drama of which it formed a part was confined to anticipation.
|
|
In chuckling over the vexations he could inflict by the rigid clutch
|
|
of his dead hand, he inevitably mingled his consciousness with that
|
|
livid stagnant presence, and so far as he was preoccupied with a
|
|
future life, it was with one of gratification inside his coffin.
|
|
Thus old Featherstone was imaginative, after his fashion.
|
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|
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However, the three mourning-coaches were filled according to the
|
|
written orders of the deceased. There were pall-bearers on horseback,
|
|
with the richest scarfs and hatbands, and even the under-bearers
|
|
had trappings of woe which were of a good well-priced quality.
|
|
The black procession, when dismounted, looked the larger for
|
|
the smallness of the churchyard; the heavy human faces and the
|
|
black draperies shivering in the wind seemed to tell of a world
|
|
strangely incongruous with the lightly dropping blossoms and
|
|
the gleams of sunshine on the daisies. The clergyman who met
|
|
the procession was Mr. Cadwallader--also according to the request
|
|
of Peter Featherstone, prompted as usual by peculiar reasons.
|
|
Having a contempt for curates, whom he always called understrappers,
|
|
he was resolved to be buried by a beneficed clergyman. Mr. Casaubon
|
|
was out of the question, not merely because he declined duty
|
|
of this sort, but because Featherstone had an especial dislike
|
|
to him as the rector of his own parish, who had a lien on the land
|
|
in the shape of tithe, also as the deliverer of morning sermons,
|
|
which the old man, being in his pew and not at all sleepy,
|
|
had been obliged to sit through with an inward snarl. He had an
|
|
objection to a parson stuck up above his head preaching to him.
|
|
But his relations with Mr. Cadwallader had been of a different kind:
|
|
the trout-stream which ran through Mr. Casaubon's land took its course
|
|
through Featherstone's also, so that Mr. Cadwallader was a parson
|
|
who had had to ask a favor instead of preaching. Moreover, he was
|
|
one of the high gentry living four miles away from Lowick, and was
|
|
thus exalted to an equal sky with the sheriff of the county and other
|
|
dignities vaguely regarded as necessary to the system of things.
|
|
There would be a satisfaction in being buried by Mr. Cadwallader,
|
|
whose very name offered a fine opportunity for pronouncing wrongly
|
|
if you liked.
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|
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This distinction conferred on the Rector of Tipton and Freshitt was
|
|
the reason why Mrs. Cadwallader made one of the group that watched
|
|
old Featherstone's funeral from an upper window of the manor.
|
|
She was not fond of visiting that house, but she liked, as she said,
|
|
to see collections of strange animals such as there would be at
|
|
this funeral; and she had persuaded Sir James and the young Lady
|
|
Chettam to drive the Rector and herself to Lowick in order that the
|
|
visit might be altogether pleasant.
|
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|
"I will go anywhere with you, Mrs. Cadwallader," Celia had said;
|
|
"but I don't like funerals."
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|
|
"Oh, my dear, when you have a clergyman in your family you must
|
|
accommodate your tastes: I did that very early. When I married
|
|
Humphrey I made up my mind to like sermons, and I set out by liking
|
|
the end very much. That soon spread to the middle and the beginning,
|
|
because I couldn't have the end without them."
|
|
|
|
"No, to be sure not," said the Dowager Lady Chettam,
|
|
with stately emphasis.
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|
|
The upper window from which the funeral could be well seen was in the
|
|
room occupied by Mr. Casaubon when he had been forbidden to work;
|
|
but he had resumed nearly his habitual style of life now in spite
|
|
of warnings and prescriptions, and after politely welcoming
|
|
Mrs. Cadwallader had slipped again into the library to chew a cud
|
|
of erudite mistake about Cush and Mizraim.
|
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|
|
But for her visitors Dorothea too might have been shut up in the library,
|
|
and would not have witnessed this scene of old Featherstone's
|
|
funeral, which, aloof as it seemed to be from the tenor of her life,
|
|
always afterwards came back to her at the touch of certain sensitive
|
|
points in memory, just as the vision of St. Peter's at Rome
|
|
was inwoven with moods of despondency. Scenes which make vital
|
|
changes in our neighbors' lot are but the background of our own,
|
|
yet, like a particular aspect of the fields and trees, they become
|
|
associated for us with the epochs of our own history, and make a part
|
|
of that unity which lies in the selection of our keenest consciousness.
|
|
|
|
The dream-like association of something alien and ill-understood
|
|
with the deepest secrets of her experience seemed to mirror that sense
|
|
of loneliness which was due to the very ardor of Dorothea's nature.
|
|
The country gentry of old time lived in a rarefied social air:
|
|
dotted apart on their stations up the mountain they looked down
|
|
with imperfect discrimination on the belts of thicker life below.
|
|
And Dorothea was not at ease in the perspective and chilliness of
|
|
that height.
|
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|
|
"I shall not look any more," said Celia, after the train had entered
|
|
the church, placing herself a little behind her husband's elbow
|
|
so that she could slyly touch his coat with her cheek. "I dare say
|
|
Dodo likes it: she is fond of melancholy things and ugly people."
|
|
|
|
"I am fond of knowing something about the people I live among,"
|
|
said Dorothea, who had been watching everything with the
|
|
interest of a monk on his holiday tour. "It seems to me
|
|
we know nothing of our neighbors, unless they are cottagers.
|
|
One is constantly wondering what sort of lives other people lead,
|
|
and how they take things. I am quite obliged to Mrs. Cadwallader
|
|
for coming and calling me out of the library."
|
|
|
|
"Quite right to feel obliged to me," said Mrs. Cadwallader.
|
|
"Your rich Lowick farmers are as curious as any buffaloes or bisons,
|
|
and I dare say you don't half see them at church. They are quite
|
|
different from your uncle's tenants or Sir James's--monsters--
|
|
farmers without landlords--one can't tell how to class them."
|
|
|
|
"Most of these followers are not Lowick people," said Sir James;
|
|
"I suppose they are legatees from a distance, or from Middlemarch.
|
|
Lovegood tells me the old fellow has left a good deal of money as well
|
|
as land."
|
|
|
|
"Think of that now! when so many younger sons can't dine at
|
|
their own expense," said Mrs. Cadwallader. "Ah," turning round
|
|
at the sound of the opening door, "here is Mr. Brooke. I felt
|
|
that we were incomplete before, and here is the explanation.
|
|
You are come to see this odd funeral, of course?"
|
|
|
|
"No, I came to look after Casaubon--to see how he goes on,
|
|
you know. And to bring a little news--a little news, my dear,"
|
|
said Mr. Brooke, nodding at Dorothea as she came towards him.
|
|
"I looked into the library, and I saw Casaubon over his books.
|
|
I told him it wouldn't do: I said, `This will never do, you know:
|
|
think of your wife, Casaubon.' And he promised me to come up. I didn't
|
|
tell him my news: I said, he must come up."
|
|
|
|
"Ah, now they are coming out of church," Mrs. Cadwallader exclaimed.
|
|
"Dear me, what a wonderfully mixed set! Mr. Lydgate as doctor,
|
|
I suppose. But that is really a good looking woman, and the fair
|
|
young man must be her son. Who are they, Sir James, do you know?"
|
|
|
|
"I see Vincy, the Mayor of Middlemarch; they are probably his wife
|
|
and son," said Sir James, looking interrogatively at Mr. Brooke,
|
|
who nodded and said--
|
|
|
|
"Yes, a very decent family--a very good fellow is Vincy; a credit
|
|
to the manufacturing interest. You have seen him at my house,
|
|
you know."
|
|
|
|
"Ah, yes: one of your secret committee," said Mrs. Cadwallader,
|
|
provokingly.
|
|
|
|
"A coursing fellow, though," said Sir James, with a fox-hunter's disgust.
|
|
|
|
"And one of those who suck the life out of the wretched handloom
|
|
weavers in Tipton and Freshitt. That is how his family look so fair
|
|
and sleek," said Mrs. Cadwallader. "Those dark, purple-faced people
|
|
are an excellent foil. Dear me, they are like a set of jugs!
|
|
Do look at Humphrey: one might fancy him an ugly archangel towering
|
|
above them in his white surplice."
|
|
|
|
"It's a solemn thing, though, a funeral," said Mr. Brooke, "if you
|
|
take it in that light, you know."
|
|
|
|
"But I am not taking it in that light. I can't wear my solemnity
|
|
too often, else it will go to rags. It was time the old man died,
|
|
and none of these people are sorry."
|
|
|
|
"How piteous!" said Dorothea. "This funeral seems to me the most
|
|
dismal thing I ever saw. It is a blot on the morning I cannot
|
|
bear to think that any one should die and leave no love behind."
|
|
|
|
She was going to say more, but she saw her husband enter and seat
|
|
himself a little in the background. The difference his presence
|
|
made to her was not always a happy one: she felt that he often
|
|
inwardly objected to her speech.
|
|
|
|
"Positively," exclaimed Mrs. Cadwallader, "there is a new face
|
|
come out from behind that broad man queerer than any of them:
|
|
a little round head with bulging eyes--a sort of frog-face--do look.
|
|
He must be of another blood, I think."
|
|
|
|
"Let me see!" said Celia, with awakened curiosity, standing behind Mrs.
|
|
Cadwallader and leaning forward over her head. "Oh, what an odd face!"
|
|
Then with a quick change to another sort of surprised expression, she
|
|
added, "Why, Dodo, you never told me that Mr. Ladislaw was come again!"
|
|
|
|
Dorothea felt a shock of alarm: every one noticed her sudden paleness
|
|
as she looked up immediately at her uncle, while Mr. Casaubon
|
|
looked at her.
|
|
|
|
"He came with me, you know; he is my guest--puts up with me at
|
|
the Grange," said Mr. Brooke, in his easiest tone, nodding at Dorothea,
|
|
as if the announcement were just what she might have expected.
|
|
"And we have brought the picture at the top of the carriage.
|
|
I knew you would be pleased with the surprise, Casaubon. There you
|
|
are to the very life--as Aquinas, you know. Quite the right sort
|
|
of thing. And you will hear young Ladislaw talk about it.
|
|
He talks uncommonly well--points out this, that, and the other--
|
|
knows art and everything of that kind--companionable, you know--is up
|
|
with you in any track--what I've been wanting a long while."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon bowed with cold politeness, mastering his irritation,
|
|
but only so far as to be silent. He remembered Will's letter
|
|
quite as well as Dorothea did; he had noticed that it was not
|
|
among the letters which had been reserved for him on his recovery,
|
|
and secretly concluding that Dorothea had sent word to Will not
|
|
to come to Lowick, he had shrunk with proud sensitiveness from ever
|
|
recurring to the subject. He now inferred that she had asked
|
|
her uncle to invite Will to the Grange; and she felt it impossible
|
|
at that moment to enter into any explanation.
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Cadwallader's eyes, diverted from the churchyard, saw a good
|
|
deal of dumb show which was not so intelligible to her as she could
|
|
have desired, and could not repress the question, "Who is Mr. Ladislaw?"
|
|
|
|
"A young relative of Mr. Casaubon's," said Sir James, promptly.
|
|
His good-nature often made him quick and clear-seeing
|
|
in personal matters, and he had divined from Dorothea's
|
|
glance at her husband that there was some alarm in her mind.
|
|
|
|
"A very nice young fellow--Casaubon has done everything for him,"
|
|
explained Mr. Brooke. "He repays your expense in him, Casaubon,"
|
|
he went on, nodding encouragingly. "I hope he will stay with me
|
|
a long while and we shall make something of my documents. I have
|
|
plenty of ideas and facts, you know, and I can see he is just the man
|
|
to put them into shape--remembers what the right quotations are,
|
|
omne tulit punctum, and that sort of thing--gives subjects a kind
|
|
of turn. I invited him some time ago when you were ill, Casaubon;
|
|
Dorothea said you couldn't have anybody in the house, you know,
|
|
and she asked me to write."
|
|
|
|
Poor Dorothea felt that every word of her uncle's was about as
|
|
pleasant as a grain of sand in the eye to Mr. Casaubon. It would
|
|
be altogether unfitting now to explain that she had not wished her
|
|
uncle to invite Will Ladislaw. She could not in the least make clear
|
|
to herself the reasons for her husband's dislike to his presence--
|
|
a dislike painfully impressed on her by the scene in the library;
|
|
but she felt the unbecomingness of saying anything that might convey
|
|
a notion of it to others. Mr. Casaubon, indeed, had not thoroughly
|
|
represented those mixed reasons to himself; irritated feeling
|
|
with him, as with all of us, seeking rather for justification
|
|
than for self-knowledge. But he wished to repress outward signs,
|
|
and only Dorothea could discern the changes in her husband's face
|
|
before he observed with more of dignified bending and sing-song
|
|
than usual--
|
|
|
|
"You are exceedingly hospitable, my dear sir; and I owe you
|
|
acknowledgments for exercising your hospitality towards a relative
|
|
of mine."
|
|
|
|
The funeral was ended now, and the churchyard was being cleared.
|
|
|
|
"Now you can see him, Mrs. Cadwallader," said Celia. "He is just like
|
|
a miniature of Mr. Casaubon's aunt that hangs in Dorothea's boudoir--
|
|
quite nice-looking."
|
|
|
|
"A very pretty sprig," said Mrs. Cadwallader, dryly. "What
|
|
is your nephew to be, Mr. Casaubon?"
|
|
|
|
"Pardon me, he is not my nephew. He is my cousin."
|
|
|
|
"Well, you know," interposed Mr. Brooke, "he is trying his wings.
|
|
He is just the sort of young fellow to rise. I should be glad
|
|
to give him an opportunity. He would make a good secretary, now,
|
|
like Hobbes, Milton, Swift--that sort of man."
|
|
|
|
"I understand," said Mrs. Cadwallader. "One who can write speeches."
|
|
|
|
"I'll fetch him in now, eh, Casaubon?" said Mr. Brooke.
|
|
"He wouldn't come in till I had announced him, you know. And we'll
|
|
go down and look at the picture. There you are to the life:
|
|
a deep subtle sort of thinker with his fore-finger on the page,
|
|
while Saint Bonaventure or somebody else, rather fat and florid,
|
|
is looking up at the Trinity. Everything is symbolical, you know--
|
|
the higher style of art: I like that up to a certain point,
|
|
but not too far--it's rather straining to keep up with, you know.
|
|
But you are at home in that, Casaubon. And your painter's flesh
|
|
is good--solidity, transparency, everything of that sort.
|
|
I went into that a great deal at one time. However, I'll go and
|
|
fetch Ladislaw."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XXXV.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Non, je ne comprends pas de plus charmant plaisir
|
|
Que de voir d'heritiers une troupe affligee
|
|
Le maintien interdit, et la mine allongee,
|
|
Lire un long testament ou pales, etonnes
|
|
On leur laisse un bonsoir avec un pied de nez.
|
|
Pour voir au naturel leur tristesse profonde
|
|
Je reviendrais, je crois, expres de l'autre monde."
|
|
--REGNARD: Le Legataire Universel.
|
|
|
|
|
|
When the animals entered the Ark in pairs, one may imagine that allied
|
|
species made much private remark on each other, and were tempted
|
|
to think that so many forms feeding on the same store of fodder
|
|
were eminently superfluous, as tending to diminish the rations.
|
|
(I fear the part played by the vultures on that occasion would be too
|
|
painful for art to represent, those birds being disadvantageously
|
|
naked about the gullet, and apparently without rites and ceremonies.)
|
|
|
|
The same sort of temptation befell the Christian Carnivora who formed
|
|
Peter Featherstone's funeral procession; most of them having their minds
|
|
bent on a limited store which each would have liked to get the most of.
|
|
The long-recognized blood-relations and connections by marriage
|
|
made already a goodly number, which, multiplied by possibilities,
|
|
presented a fine range for jealous conjecture and pathetic hopefulness.
|
|
Jealousy of the Vincys had created a fellowship in hostility among
|
|
all persons of the Featherstone blood, so that in the absence of any
|
|
decided indication that one of themselves was to have more than
|
|
the rest, the dread lest that long-legged Fred Vincy should have
|
|
the land was necessarily dominant, though it left abundant feeling
|
|
and leisure for vaguer jealousies, such as were entertained towards
|
|
Mary Garth. Solomon found time to reflect that Jonah was undeserving,
|
|
and Jonah to abuse Solomon as greedy; Jane, the elder sister,
|
|
held that Martha's children ought not to expect so much as the
|
|
young Waules; and Martha, more lax on the subject of primogeniture,
|
|
was sorry to think that Jane was so "having." These nearest of kin
|
|
were naturally impressed with the unreasonableness of expectations
|
|
in cousins and second cousins, and used their arithmetic in reckoning
|
|
the large sums that small legacies might mount to, if there were
|
|
too many of them. Two cousins were present to hear the will,
|
|
and a second cousin besides Mr. Trumbull. This second cousin was
|
|
a Middlemarch mercer of polite manners and superfluous aspirates.
|
|
The two cousins were elderly men from Brassing, one of them
|
|
conscious of claims on the score of inconvenient expense sustained
|
|
by him in presents of oysters and other eatables to his rich
|
|
cousin Peter; the other entirely saturnine, leaning his hands
|
|
and chin on a stick, and conscious of claims based on no narrow
|
|
performance but on merit generally: both blameless citizens
|
|
of Brassing, who wished that Jonah Featherstone did not live there.
|
|
The wit of a family is usually best received among strangers.
|
|
|
|
"Why, Trumbull himself is pretty sure of five hundred--THAT
|
|
you may depend,--I shouldn't wonder if my brother promised him,"
|
|
said Solomon, musing aloud with his sisters, the evening before
|
|
the funeral.
|
|
|
|
"Dear, dear!" said poor sister Martha, whose imagination of hundreds
|
|
had been habitually narrowed to the amount of her unpaid rent.
|
|
|
|
But in the morning all the ordinary currents of conjecture were
|
|
disturbed by the presence of a strange mourner who had plashed
|
|
among them as if from the moon. This was the stranger described
|
|
by Mrs. Cadwallader as frog-faced: a man perhaps about two or three
|
|
and thirty, whose prominent eyes, thin-lipped, downward-curved mouth,
|
|
and hair sleekly brushed away from a forehead that sank suddenly
|
|
above the ridge of the eyebrows, certainly gave his face a batrachian
|
|
unchangeableness of expression. Here, clearly, was a new legatee;
|
|
else why was he bidden as a mourner? Here were new possibilities,
|
|
raising a new uncertainty, which almost checked remark in the
|
|
mourning-coaches. We are all humiliated by the sudden discovery
|
|
of a fact which has existed very comfortably and perhaps been staring
|
|
at us in private while we have been making up our world entirely
|
|
without it. No one had seen this questionable stranger before
|
|
except Mary Garth, and she knew nothing more of him than that he
|
|
had twice been to Stone Court when Mr. Featherstone was down-stairs,
|
|
and had sat alone with him for several hours. She had found an
|
|
opportunity of mentioning this to her father, and perhaps Caleb's
|
|
were the only eyes, except the lawyer's, which examined the stranger
|
|
with more of inquiry than of disgust or suspicion. Caleb Garth,
|
|
having little expectation and less cupidity, was interested in the
|
|
verification of his own guesses, and the calmness with which he
|
|
half smilingly rubbed his chin and shot intelligent glances much
|
|
as if he were valuing a tree, made a fine contrast with the alarm
|
|
or scorn visible in other faces when the unknown mourner, whose name
|
|
was understood to be Rigg, entered the wainscoted parlor and took
|
|
his seat near the door to make part of the audience when the will
|
|
should be read. Just then Mr. Solomon and Mr. Jonah were gone
|
|
up-stairs with the lawyer to search for the will; and Mrs. Waule,
|
|
seeing two vacant seats between herself and Mr. Borthrop Trumbull,
|
|
had the spirit to move next to that great authority, who was handling
|
|
his watch-seals and trimming his outlines with a determination not to
|
|
show anything so compromising to a man of ability as wonder or surprise.
|
|
|
|
"I suppose you know everything about what my poor brother's done,
|
|
Mr. Trumbull," said Mrs. Waule, in the lowest of her woolly tones,
|
|
while she turned her crape-shadowed bonnet towards Mr. Trumbull's ear.
|
|
|
|
"My good lady, whatever was told me was told in confidence,"
|
|
said the auctioneer, putting his hand up to screen that secret.
|
|
|
|
"Them who've made sure of their good-luck may be disappointed yet,"
|
|
Mrs. Waule continued, finding some relief in this communication.
|
|
|
|
"Hopes are often delusive," said Mr. Trumbull, still in confidence.
|
|
|
|
"Ah!" said Mrs. Waule, looking across at the Vincys, and then
|
|
moving back to the side of her sister Martha.
|
|
|
|
"It's wonderful how close poor Peter was," she said, in the same
|
|
undertones. "We none of us know what he might have had on his mind.
|
|
I only hope and trust he wasn't a worse liver than we think of, Martha."
|
|
|
|
Poor Mrs. Cranch was bulky, and, breathing asthmatically,
|
|
had the additional motive for making her remarks unexceptionable
|
|
and giving them a general bearing, that even her whispers were loud
|
|
and liable to sudden bursts like those of a deranged barrel-organ.
|
|
|
|
"I never WAS covetious, Jane," she replied; "but I have six
|
|
children and have buried three, and I didn't marry into money.
|
|
The eldest, that sits there, is but nineteen--so I leave you to guess.
|
|
And stock always short, and land most awkward. But if ever I've
|
|
begged and prayed; it's been to God above; though where there's
|
|
one brother a bachelor and the other childless after twice marrying--
|
|
anybody might think!"
|
|
|
|
Meanwhile, Mr. Vincy had glanced at the passive face of Mr. Rigg,
|
|
and had taken out his snuff-box and tapped it, but had put it again
|
|
unopened as an indulgence which, however clarifying to the judgment,
|
|
was unsuited to the occasion. "I shouldn't wonder if Featherstone
|
|
had better feelings than any of us gave him credit for," he observed,
|
|
in the ear of his wife. "This funeral shows a thought about everybody:
|
|
it looks well when a man wants to be followed by his friends,
|
|
and if they are humble, not to be ashamed of them. I should be
|
|
all the better pleased if he'd left lots of small legacies.
|
|
They may be uncommonly useful to fellows in a small way."
|
|
|
|
"Everything is as handsome as could be, crape and silk and everything,"
|
|
said Mrs. Vincy, contentedly.
|
|
|
|
But I am sorry to say that Fred was under some difficulty in repressing
|
|
a laugh, which would have been more unsuitable than his father's
|
|
snuff-box. Fred had overheard Mr. Jonah suggesting something about a
|
|
"love-child," and with this thought in his mind, the stranger's face,
|
|
which happened to be opposite him, affected him too ludicrously.
|
|
Mary Garth, discerning his distress in the twitchings of his mouth,
|
|
and his recourse to a cough, came cleverly to his rescue by asking
|
|
him to change seats with her, so that he got into a shadowy corner.
|
|
Fred was feeling as good-naturedly as possible towards everybody,
|
|
including Rigg; and having some relenting towards all these people
|
|
who were less lucky than he was aware of being himself, he would
|
|
not for the world have behaved amiss; still, it was particularly easy
|
|
to laugh.
|
|
|
|
But the entrance of the lawyer and the two brothers drew every
|
|
one's attention. The lawyer was Mr. Standish, and he had come
|
|
to Stone Court this morning believing that he knew thoroughly well
|
|
who would be pleased and who disappointed before the day was over.
|
|
The will he expected to read was the last of three which he
|
|
had drawn up for Mr. Featherstone. Mr. Standish was not a man
|
|
who varied his manners: he behaved with the same deep-voiced,
|
|
off-hand civility to everybody, as if he saw no difference in them,
|
|
and talked chiefly of the hay-crop, which would be "very fine,
|
|
by God!" of the last bulletins concerning the King, and of the Duke
|
|
of Clarence, who was a sailor every inch of him, and just the man
|
|
to rule over an island like Britain.
|
|
|
|
Old Featherstone had often reflected as he sat looking at the fire
|
|
that Standish would be surprised some day: it is true that if he
|
|
had done as he liked at the last, and burnt the will drawn up
|
|
by another lawyer, he would not have secured that minor end;
|
|
still he had had his pleasure in ruminating on it. And certainly
|
|
Mr. Standish was surprised, but not at all sorry; on the contrary,
|
|
he rather enjoyed the zest of a little curiosity in his own mind,
|
|
which the discovery of a second will added to the prospective amazement
|
|
on the part of the Featherstone family.
|
|
|
|
As to the sentiments of Solomon and Jonah, they were held in
|
|
utter suspense: it seemed to them that the old will would have
|
|
a certain validity, and that there might be such an interlacement
|
|
of poor Peter's former and latter intentions as to create endless
|
|
"lawing" before anybody came by their own--an inconvenience which
|
|
would have at least the advantage of going all round. Hence the
|
|
brothers showed a thoroughly neutral gravity as they re-entered
|
|
with Mr. Standish; but Solomon took out his white handkerchief again
|
|
with a sense that in any case there would be affecting passages,
|
|
and crying at funerals, however dry, was customarily served up in lawn.
|
|
|
|
Perhaps the person who felt the most throbbing excitement at this
|
|
moment was Mary Garth, in the consciousness that it was she
|
|
who had virtually determined the production of this second will,
|
|
which might have momentous effects on the lot of some persons present.
|
|
No soul except herself knew what had passed on that final night.
|
|
|
|
"The will I hold in my hand," said Mr. Standish, who, seated at
|
|
the table in the middle of the room, took his time about everything,
|
|
including the coughs with which he showed a disposition to clear
|
|
his voice, "was drawn up by myself and executed by our deceased
|
|
friend on the 9th of August, 1825. But I find that there is
|
|
a subsequent instrument hitherto unknown to me, bearing date the
|
|
20th of July, 1826, hardly a year later than the previous one.
|
|
And there is farther, I see"--Mr. Standish was cautiously travelling
|
|
over the document with his spectacles--"a codicil to this latter will,
|
|
bearing date March 1, 1828."
|
|
|
|
"Dear, dear!" said sister Martha, not meaning to be audible,
|
|
but driven to some articulation under this pressure of dates.
|
|
|
|
"I shall begin by reading the earlier will," continued Mr. Standish,
|
|
"since such, as appears by his not having destroyed the document,
|
|
was the intention of deceased."
|
|
|
|
The preamble was felt to be rather long, and several besides
|
|
Solomon shook their heads pathetically, looking on the ground:
|
|
all eyes avoided meeting other eyes, and were chiefly fixed either
|
|
on the spots in the table-cloth or on Mr. Standish's bald head;
|
|
excepting Mary Garth's. When all the rest were trying to look
|
|
nowhere in particular, it was safe for her to look at them.
|
|
And at the sound of the first "give and bequeath" she could see all
|
|
complexions changing subtly, as if some faint vibration were passing
|
|
through them, save that of Mr. Rigg. He sat in unaltered calm, and,
|
|
in fact, the company, preoccupied with more important problems,
|
|
and with the complication of listening to bequests which might or
|
|
might not be revoked, had ceased to think of him. Fred blushed,
|
|
and Mr. Vincy found it impossible to do without his snuff-box in
|
|
his hand, though he kept it closed.
|
|
|
|
The small bequests came first, and even the recollection that there
|
|
was another will and that poor Peter might have thought better of it,
|
|
could not quell the rising disgust and indignation. One likes
|
|
to be done well by in every tense, past, present, and future.
|
|
And here was Peter capable five years ago of leaving only two hundred
|
|
apiece to his own brothers and sisters, and only a hundred apiece
|
|
to his own nephews and nieces: the Garths were not mentioned,
|
|
but Mrs. Vincy and Rosamond were each to have a hundred.
|
|
Mr. Trumbull was to have the gold-headed cane and fifty pounds;
|
|
the other second cousins and the cousins present were each to have
|
|
the like handsome sum, which, as the saturnine cousin observed,
|
|
was a sort of legacy that left a man nowhere; and there was much
|
|
more of such offensive dribbling in favor of persons not present--
|
|
problematical, and, it was to be feared, low connections.
|
|
Altogether, reckoning hastily, here were about three thousand
|
|
disposed of. Where then had Peter meant the rest of the money to go--
|
|
and where the land? and what was revoked and what not revoked--
|
|
and was the revocation for better or for worse? All emotion
|
|
must be conditional, and might turn out to be the wrong thing.
|
|
The men were strong enough to bear up and keep quiet under this
|
|
confused suspense; some letting their lower lip fall, others pursing
|
|
it up, according to the habit of their muscles. But Jane and Martha
|
|
sank under the rush of questions, and began to cry; poor Mrs. Cranch
|
|
being half moved with the consolation of getting any hundreds at all
|
|
without working for them, and half aware that her share was scanty;
|
|
whereas Mrs. Waule's mind was entirely flooded with the sense
|
|
of being an own sister and getting little, while somebody else
|
|
was to have much. The general expectation now was that the "much"
|
|
would fall to Fred Vincy, but the Vincys themselves were surprised
|
|
when ten thousand pounds in specified investments were declared to be
|
|
bequeathed to him:--was the land coming too? Fred bit his lips:
|
|
it was difficult to help smiling, and Mrs. Vincy felt herself
|
|
the happiest of women--possible revocation shrinking out of sight
|
|
in this dazzling vision.
|
|
|
|
There was still a residue of personal property as well as the land,
|
|
but the whole was left to one person, and that person was--
|
|
O possibilities! O expectations founded on the favor of "close"
|
|
old gentlemen! O endless vocatives that would still leave
|
|
expression slipping helpless from the measurement of mortal folly!--
|
|
that residuary legatee was Joshua Rigg, who was also sole executor,
|
|
and who was to take thenceforth the name of Featherstone.
|
|
|
|
There was a rustling which seemed like a shudder running round
|
|
the room. Every one stared afresh at Mr. Rigg, who apparently
|
|
experienced no surprise.
|
|
|
|
"A most singular testamentary disposition!" exclaimed Mr. Trumbull,
|
|
preferring for once that he should be considered ignorant in the past.
|
|
"But there is a second will--there is a further document. We have
|
|
not yet heard the final wishes of the deceased."
|
|
|
|
Mary Garth was feeling that what they had yet to hear were not the
|
|
final wishes. The second will revoked everything except the legacies
|
|
to the low persons before mentioned (some alterations in these being
|
|
the occasion of the codicil), and the bequest of all the land
|
|
lying in Lowick parish with all the stock and household furniture,
|
|
to Joshua Rigg. The residue of the property was to be devoted to
|
|
the erection and endowment of almshouses for old men, to be called
|
|
Featherstone's Alms-Houses, and to be built on a piece of land
|
|
near Middlemarch already bought for the purpose by the testator,
|
|
he wishing--so the document declared--to please God Almighty.
|
|
Nobody present had a farthing; but Mr. Trumbull had the gold-headed cane.
|
|
It took some time for the company to recover the power of expression.
|
|
Mary dared not look at Fred.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Vincy was the first to speak--after using his snuff-
|
|
box energetically--and he spoke with loud indignation.
|
|
"The most unaccountable will I ever heard! I should say
|
|
he was not in his right mind when he made it. I should
|
|
say this last will was void," added Mr. Vincy, feeling
|
|
that this expression put the thing in the true light. "Eh Standish?"
|
|
|
|
"Our deceased friend always knew what he was about, I think,"
|
|
said Mr. Standish. "Everything is quite regular. Here is a letter
|
|
from Clemmens of Brassing tied with the will. He drew it up.
|
|
A very respectable solicitor."
|
|
|
|
"I never noticed any alienation of mind--any aberration of intellect
|
|
in the late Mr. Featherstone," said Borthrop Trumbull, "but I call this
|
|
will eccentric. I was always willingly of service to the old soul;
|
|
and he intimated pretty plainly a sense of obligation which would show
|
|
itself in his will. The gold-headed cane is farcical considered as
|
|
an acknowledgment to me; but happily I am above mercenary considerations."
|
|
|
|
"There's nothing very surprising in the matter that I can see,"
|
|
said Caleb Garth. "Anybody might have had more reason for wondering
|
|
if the will had been what you might expect from an open-minded
|
|
straightforward man. For my part, I wish there was no such thing
|
|
as a will."
|
|
|
|
"That's a strange sentiment to come from a Christian man, by God!"
|
|
said the lawyer. "I should like to know how you will back
|
|
that up, Garth!"
|
|
|
|
"Oh," said Caleb, leaning forward, adjusting his finger-tips
|
|
with nicety and looking meditatively on the ground. It always
|
|
seemed to him that words were the hardest part of "business."
|
|
|
|
But here Mr. Jonah Featherstone made himself heard. "Well,
|
|
he always was a fine hypocrite, was my brother Peter. But this
|
|
will cuts out everything. If I'd known, a wagon and six horses
|
|
shouldn't have drawn me from Brassing. I'll put a white hat
|
|
and drab coat on to-morrow."
|
|
|
|
"Dear, dear," wept Mrs. Cranch, "and we've been at the expense
|
|
of travelling, and that poor lad sitting idle here so long!
|
|
It's the first time I ever heard my brother Peter was so wishful
|
|
to please God Almighty; but if I was to be struck helpless I must
|
|
say it's hard--I can think no other."
|
|
|
|
"It'll do him no good where he's gone, that's my belief,"
|
|
said Solomon, with a bitterness which was remarkably genuine,
|
|
though his tone could not help being sly. "Peter was a bad liver,
|
|
and almshouses won't cover it, when he's had the impudence to show
|
|
it at the last."
|
|
|
|
"And all the while had got his own lawful family--brothers and sisters
|
|
and nephews and nieces--and has sat in church with 'em whenever
|
|
he thought well to come," said Mrs. Waule. "And might have left
|
|
his property so respectable, to them that's never been used to
|
|
extravagance or unsteadiness in no manner of way--and not so poor
|
|
but what they could have saved every penny and made more of it.
|
|
And me--the trouble I've been at, times and times, to come here
|
|
and be sisterly--and him with things on his mind all the while that
|
|
might make anybody's flesh creep. But if the Almighty's allowed it,
|
|
he means to punish him for it. Brother Solomon, I shall be going,
|
|
if you'll drive me."
|
|
|
|
"I've no desire to put my foot on the premises again," said Solomon.
|
|
"I've got land of my own and property of my own to will away."
|
|
|
|
"It's a poor tale how luck goes in the world," said Jonah.
|
|
"It never answers to have a bit of spirit in you. You'd better be
|
|
a dog in the manger. But those above ground might learn a lesson.
|
|
One fool's will is enough in a family."
|
|
|
|
"There's more ways than one of being a fool," said Solomon.
|
|
"I shan't leave my money to be poured down the sink, and I shan't
|
|
leave it to foundlings from Africay. I like Feather, stones that
|
|
were brewed such, and not turned Featherstones with sticking
|
|
the name on 'em."
|
|
|
|
Solomon addressed these remarks in a loud aside to Mrs. Waule
|
|
as he rose to accompany her. Brother Jonah felt himself capable
|
|
of much more stinging wit than this, but he reflected that there
|
|
was no use in offending the new proprietor of Stone Court, until you
|
|
were certain that he was quite without intentions of hospitality
|
|
towards witty men whose name he was about to bear.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Joshua Rigg, in fact, appeared to trouble himself little
|
|
about any innuendoes, but showed a notable change of manner,
|
|
walking coolly up to Mr. Standish and putting business questions
|
|
with much coolness. He had a high chirping voice and a vile accent.
|
|
Fred, whom he no longer moved to laughter, thought him the lowest
|
|
monster he had ever seen. But Fred was feeling rather sick.
|
|
The Middlemarch mercer waited for an opportunity of engaging
|
|
Mr. Rigg in conversation: there was no knowing how many pairs
|
|
of legs the new proprietor might require hose for, and profits
|
|
were more to be relied on than legacies. Also, the mercer,
|
|
as a second cousin, was dispassionate enough to feel curiosity.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Vincy, after his one outburst, had remained proudly silent,
|
|
though too much preoccupied with unpleasant feelings to think
|
|
of moving, till he observed that his wife had gone to Fred's
|
|
side and was crying silently while she held her darling's hand.
|
|
He rose immediately, and turning his back on the company while he
|
|
said to her in an undertone,--"Don't give way, Lucy; don't make
|
|
a fool of yourself, my dear, before these people," he added in his
|
|
usual loud voice--"Go and order the phaeton, Fred; I have no time
|
|
to waste."
|
|
|
|
Mary Garth had before this been getting ready to go home with her father.
|
|
She met Fred in the hall, and now for the first time had the courage
|
|
to look at him He had that withered sort of paleness which will
|
|
sometimes come on young faces, and his hand was very cold when she
|
|
shook it. Mary too was agitated; she was conscious that fatally,
|
|
without will of her own, she had perhaps made a great difference
|
|
to Fred's lot.
|
|
|
|
"Good-by," she said, with affectionate sadness. "Be brave, Fred.
|
|
I do believe you are better without the money. What was the good
|
|
of it to Mr. Featherstone?"
|
|
|
|
"That's all very fine," said Fred, pettishly. "What is a fellow
|
|
to do? I must go into the Church now." (He knew that this would
|
|
vex Mary: very well; then she must tell him what else he could do.)
|
|
"And I thought I should be able to pay your father at once and make
|
|
everything right. And you have not even a hundred pounds left you.
|
|
What shall you do now, Mary?"
|
|
|
|
"Take another situation, of course, as soon as I can get one.
|
|
My father has enough to do to keep the rest, without me. Good-by."
|
|
|
|
In a very short time Stone Court was cleared of well-brewed Featherstones
|
|
and other long-accustomed visitors. Another stranger had been
|
|
brought to settle in the neighborhood of Middlemarch, but in the case
|
|
of Mr. Rigg Featherstone there was more discontent with immediate
|
|
visible consequences than speculation as to the effect which his
|
|
presence might have in the future. No soul was prophetic enough to
|
|
have any foreboding as to what might appear on the trial of Joshua Rigg.
|
|
|
|
And here I am naturally led to reflect on the means of elevating
|
|
a low subject. Historical parallels are remarkably efficient in
|
|
this way. The chief objection to them is, that the diligent narrator
|
|
may lack space, or (what is often the same thing) may not be able
|
|
to think of them with any degree of particularity, though he may have
|
|
a philosophical confidence that if known they would be illustrative.
|
|
It seems an easier and shorter way to dignity, to observe that--
|
|
since there never was a true story which could not be told in parables,
|
|
where you might put a monkey for a margrave, and vice versa--
|
|
whatever has been or is to be narrated by me about low people,
|
|
may be ennobled by being considered a parable; so that if any bad
|
|
habits and ugly consequences are brought into view, the reader may have
|
|
the relief of regarding them as not more than figuratively ungenteel,
|
|
and may feel himself virtually in company with persons of some style.
|
|
Thus while I tell the truth about loobies, my reader's imagination
|
|
need not be entirely excluded from an occupation with lords;
|
|
and the petty sums which any bankrupt of high standing would be
|
|
sorry to retire upon, may be lifted to the level of high commercial
|
|
transactions by the inexpensive addition of proportional ciphers.
|
|
|
|
As to any provincial history in which the agents are all of high
|
|
moral rank, that must be of a date long posterior to the first
|
|
Reform Bill, and Peter Featherstone, you perceive, was dead
|
|
and buried some months before Lord Grey came into office.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XXXVI.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"'Tis strange to see the humors of these men,
|
|
These great aspiring spirits, that should be wise:
|
|
. . . . . . . .
|
|
For being the nature of great spirits to love
|
|
To be where they may be most eminent;
|
|
They, rating of themselves so farre above
|
|
Us in conceit, with whom they do frequent,
|
|
Imagine how we wonder and esteeme
|
|
All that they do or say; which makes them strive
|
|
To make our admiration more extreme,
|
|
Which they suppose they cannot, 'less they give
|
|
Notice of their extreme and highest thoughts.
|
|
--DANIEL: Tragedy of Philotas.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mr. Vincy went home from the reading of the will with his point
|
|
of view considerably changed in relation to many subjects. He was an
|
|
open-minded man, but given to indirect modes of expressing himself:
|
|
when he was disappointed in a market for his silk braids, he swore
|
|
at the groom; when his brother-in-law Bulstrode had vexed him,
|
|
he made cutting remarks on Methodism; and it was now apparent that
|
|
he regarded Fred's idleness with a sudden increase of severity,
|
|
by his throwing an embroidered cap out of the smoking-room on to
|
|
the hall-floor.
|
|
|
|
"Well, sir," he observed, when that young gentleman was moving off
|
|
to bed, "I hope you've made up your mind now to go up next term
|
|
and pass your examination. I've taken my resolution, so I advise
|
|
you to lose no time in taking yours."
|
|
|
|
Fred made no answer: he was too utterly depressed. Twenty-four hours
|
|
ago he had thought that instead of needing to know what he should do,
|
|
he should by this time know that he needed to do nothing: that he
|
|
should hunt in pink, have a first-rate hunter, ride to cover on a
|
|
fine hack, and be generally respected for doing so; moreover, that he
|
|
should be able at once to pay Mr. Garth, and that Mary could no longer
|
|
have any reason for not marrying him. And all this was to have come
|
|
without study or other inconvenience, purely by the favor of providence
|
|
in the shape of an old gentleman's caprice. But now, at the end
|
|
of the twenty-four hours, all those firm expectations were upset.
|
|
It was "rather hard lines" that while he was smarting under this
|
|
disappointment he should be treated as if he could have helped it.
|
|
But he went away silently and his mother pleaded for him.
|
|
|
|
"Don't be hard on the poor boy, Vincy. He'll turn out well yet,
|
|
though that wicked man has deceived him. I feel as sure as I
|
|
sit here, Fred will turn out well--else why was he brought back
|
|
from the brink of the grave? And I call it a robbery: it was
|
|
like giving him the land, to promise it; and what is promising,
|
|
if making everybody believe is not promising? And you see he did
|
|
leave him ten thousand pounds, and then took it away again."
|
|
|
|
"Took it away again!" said Mr. Vincy, pettishly. "I tell you
|
|
the lad's an unlucky lad, Lucy. And you've always spoiled him."
|
|
|
|
"Well, Vincy, he was my first, and you made a fine fuss with him
|
|
when he came. You were as proud as proud," said Mrs. Vincy,
|
|
easily recovering her cheerful smile.
|
|
|
|
"Who knows what babies will turn to? I was fool enough, I dare say,"
|
|
said the husband--more mildly, however.
|
|
|
|
"But who has handsomer, better children than ours? Fred is far
|
|
beyond other people's sons: you may hear it in his speech, that he
|
|
has kept college company. And Rosamond--where is there a girl
|
|
like her? She might stand beside any lady in the land, and only
|
|
look the better for it. You see--Mr. Lydgate has kept the highest
|
|
company and been everywhere, and he fell in love with her at once.
|
|
Not but what I could have wished Rosamond had not engaged herself.
|
|
She might have met somebody on a visit who would have been a far
|
|
better match; I mean at her schoolfellow Miss Willoughby's. There are
|
|
relations in that family quite as high as Mr. Lydgate's."
|
|
|
|
"Damn relations!" said Mr. Vincy; "I've had enough of them.
|
|
I don't want a son-in-law who has got nothing but his relations
|
|
to recommend him."
|
|
|
|
"Why, my dear," said Mrs. Vincy, "you seemed as pleased as could
|
|
be about it. It's true, I wasn't at home; but Rosamond told me you
|
|
hadn't a word to say against the engagement. And she has begun
|
|
to buy in the best linen and cambric for her underclothing."
|
|
|
|
"Not by my will," said Mr. Vincy. "I shall have enough to do this year,
|
|
with an idle scamp of a son, without paying for wedding-clothes.
|
|
The times are as tight as can be; everybody is being ruined;
|
|
and I don't believe Lydgate has got a farthing. I shan't give
|
|
my consent to their marrying. Let 'em wait, as their elders
|
|
have done before 'em."
|
|
|
|
"Rosamond will take it hard, Vincy, and you know you never could
|
|
bear to cross her."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I could. The sooner the engagement's off, the better.
|
|
I don't believe he'll ever make an income, the way he goes on.
|
|
He makes enemies; that's all I hear of his making."
|
|
|
|
"But he stands very high with Mr. Bulstrode, my dear. The marriage
|
|
would please HIM, I should think."
|
|
|
|
"Please the deuce!" said Mr. Vincy. "Bulstrode won't pay for
|
|
their keep. And if Lydgate thinks I'm going to give money for them
|
|
to set up housekeeping, he's mistaken, that's all. I expect I shall
|
|
have to put down my horses soon. You'd better tell Rosy what I say."
|
|
|
|
This was a not infrequent procedure with Mr. Vincy--to be rash
|
|
in jovial assent, and on becoming subsequently conscious that he had
|
|
been rash, to employ others in making the offensive retractation.
|
|
However, Mrs. Vincy, who never willingly opposed her husband,
|
|
lost no time the next morning in letting Rosamond know what he
|
|
had said. Rosamond, examining some muslin-work, listened in silence,
|
|
and at the end gave a certain turn of her graceful neck, of which
|
|
only long experience could teach you that it meant perfect obstinacy.
|
|
|
|
"What do you say, my dear?" said her mother, with affectionate deference.
|
|
|
|
"Papa does not mean anything of the kind," said Rosamond, quite calmly.
|
|
"He has always said that he wished me to marry the man I loved.
|
|
And I shall marry Mr. Lydgate. It is seven weeks now since papa gave
|
|
his consent. And I hope we shall have Mrs. Bretton's house."
|
|
|
|
"Well, my dear, I shall leave you to manage your papa. You always
|
|
do manage everybody. But if we ever do go and get damask,
|
|
Sadler's is the place--far better than Hopkins's. Mrs. Bretton's
|
|
is very large, though: I should love you to have such a house;
|
|
but it will take a great deal of furniture--carpeting and everything,
|
|
besides plate and glass. And you hear, your papa says he will give
|
|
no money. Do you think Mr. Lydgate expects it?"
|
|
|
|
"You cannot imagine that I should ask him, mamma. Of course he
|
|
understands his own affairs."
|
|
|
|
"But he may have been looking for money, my dear, and we all thought
|
|
of your having a pretty legacy as well as Fred;--and now everything
|
|
is so dreadful--there's no pleasure in thinking of anything,
|
|
with that poor boy disappointed as he is."
|
|
|
|
"That has nothing to do with my marriage, mamma. Fred must leave off
|
|
being idle. I am going up-stairs to take this work to Miss Morgan:
|
|
she does the open hemming very well. Mary Garth might do some work
|
|
for me now, I should think. Her sewing is exquisite; it is the nicest
|
|
thing I know about Mary. I should so like to have all my cambric
|
|
frilling double-hemmed. And it takes a long time."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Vincy's belief that Rosamond could manage her papa was
|
|
well founded. Apart from his dinners and his coursing, Mr. Vincy,
|
|
blustering as he was, had as little of his own way as if he had
|
|
been a prime minister: the force of circumstances was easily
|
|
too much for him, as it is for most pleasure-loving florid men;
|
|
and the circumstance called Rosamond was particularly forcible
|
|
by means of that mild persistence which, as we know, enables a white
|
|
soft living substance to make its way in spite of opposing rock.
|
|
Papa was not a rock: he had no other fixity than that fixity of
|
|
alternating impulses sometimes called habit, and this was altogether
|
|
unfavorable to his taking the only decisive line of conduct in relation
|
|
to his daughter's engagement--namely, to inquire thoroughly into
|
|
Lydgate's circumstances, declare his own inability to furnish money,
|
|
and forbid alike either a speedy marriage or an engagement which must
|
|
be too lengthy. That seems very simple and easy in the statement;
|
|
but a disagreeable resolve formed in the chill hours of the morning
|
|
had as many conditions against it as the early frost, and rarely
|
|
persisted under the warming influences of the day. The indirect
|
|
though emphatic expression of opinion to which Mr. Vincy was prone
|
|
suffered much restraint in this case: Lydgate was a proud man
|
|
towards whom innuendoes were obviously unsafe, and throwing his hat
|
|
on the floor was out of the question. Mr. Vincy was a little in awe
|
|
of him, a little vain that he wanted to marry Rosamond, a little
|
|
indisposed to raise a question of money in which his own position
|
|
was not advantageous, a little afraid of being worsted in dialogue
|
|
with a man better educated and more highly bred than himself,
|
|
and a little afraid of doing what his daughter would not like.
|
|
The part Mr. Vincy preferred playing was that of the generous host
|
|
whom nobody criticises. In the earlier half of the day there was
|
|
business to hinder any formal communication of an adverse resolve;
|
|
in the later there was dinner, wine, whist, and general satisfaction.
|
|
And in the mean while the hours were each leaving their little
|
|
deposit and gradually forming the final reason for inaction, namely,
|
|
that action was too late. The accepted lover spent most of his
|
|
evenings in Lowick Gate, and a love-making not at all dependent
|
|
on money-advances from fathers-in-law, or prospective income from
|
|
a profession, went on flourishingly under Mr. Vincy's own eyes.
|
|
Young love-making--that gossamer web! Even the points it
|
|
clings to--the things whence its subtle interlacings are swung--
|
|
are scarcely perceptible: momentary touches of fingertips,
|
|
meetings of rays from blue and dark orbs, unfinished phrases,
|
|
lightest changes of cheek and lip, faintest tremors. The web itself
|
|
is made of spontaneous beliefs and indefinable joys, yearnings of one
|
|
life towards another, visions of completeness, indefinite trust.
|
|
And Lydgate fell to spinning that web from his inward self with
|
|
wonderful rapidity, in spite of experience supposed to be finished
|
|
off with the drama of Laure--in spite too of medicine and biology;
|
|
for the inspection of macerated muscle or of eyes presented in a dish
|
|
(like Santa Lucia's), and other incidents of scientific inquiry,
|
|
are observed to be less incompatible with poetic love than a native
|
|
dulness or a lively addiction to the lowest prose. As for Rosamond,
|
|
she was in the water-lily's expanding wonderment at its own fuller life,
|
|
and she too was spinning industriously at the mutual web. All this
|
|
went on in the corner of the drawing-room where the piano stood,
|
|
and subtle as it was, the light made it a sort of rainbow visible
|
|
to many observers besides Mr. Farebrother. The certainty that Miss
|
|
Vincy and Mr. Lydgate were engaged became general in Middlemarch
|
|
without the aid of formal announcement.
|
|
|
|
Aunt Bulstrode was again stirred to anxiety; but this time she
|
|
addressed herself to her brother, going to the warehouse expressly
|
|
to avoid Mrs. Vincy's volatility. His replies were not satisfactory.
|
|
|
|
"Walter, you never mean to tell me that you have allowed all
|
|
this to go on without inquiry into Mr. Lydgate's prospects?"
|
|
said Mrs. Bulstrode, opening her eyes with wider gravity at her brother,
|
|
who was in his peevish warehouse humor. "Think of this girl
|
|
brought up in luxury--in too worldly a way, I am sorry to say--
|
|
what will she do on a small income?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, confound it, Harriet I what can I do when men come into
|
|
the town without any asking of mine? Did you shut your house up
|
|
against Lydgate? Bulstrode has pushed him forward more than anybody.
|
|
I never made any fuss about the young fellow. You should go
|
|
and talk to your husband about it, not me."
|
|
|
|
"Well, really, Walter, how can Mr. Bulstrode be to blame?
|
|
I am sure he did not wish for the engagement."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, if Bulstrode had not taken him by the hand, I should never
|
|
have invited him."
|
|
|
|
"But you called him in to attend on Fred, and I am sure that was
|
|
a mercy," said Mrs. Bulstrode, losing her clew in the intricacies
|
|
of the subject.
|
|
|
|
"I don't know about mercy," said Mr. Vincy, testily. "I know I
|
|
am worried more than I like with my family. I was a good brother
|
|
to you, Harriet, before you married Bulstrode, and I must say he
|
|
doesn't always show that friendly spirit towards your family that might
|
|
have been expected of him." Mr. Vincy was very little like a Jesuit,
|
|
but no accomplished Jesuit could have turned a question more adroitly.
|
|
Harriet had to defend her husband instead of blaming her brother,
|
|
and the conversation ended at a point as far from the beginning as
|
|
some recent sparring between the brothers-in-law at a vestry meeting.
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Bulstrode did not repeat her brother's complaints to her husband,
|
|
but in the evening she spoke to him of Lydgate and Rosamond.
|
|
He did not share her warm interest, however; and only spoke with
|
|
resignation of the risks attendant on the beginning of medical
|
|
practice and the desirability of prudence.
|
|
|
|
"I am sure we are bound to pray for that thoughtless girl--
|
|
brought up as she has been," said Mrs. Bulstrode, wishing to rouse
|
|
her husband's feelings.
|
|
|
|
"Truly, my dear," said Mr. Bulstrode, assentingly. "Those who are
|
|
not of this world can do little else to arrest the errors of the
|
|
obstinately worldly. That is what we must accustom ourselves to
|
|
recognize with regard to your brother's family. I could have wished
|
|
that Mr. Lydgate had not entered into such a union; but my relations
|
|
with him are limited to that use of his gifts for God's purposes
|
|
which is taught us by the divine government under each dispensation."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Bulstrode said no more, attributing some dissatisfaction which she
|
|
felt to her own want of spirituality. She believed that her husband
|
|
was one of those men whose memoirs should be written when they died.
|
|
|
|
As to Lydgate himself, having been accepted, he was prepared to
|
|
accept all the consequences which he believed himself to foresee
|
|
with perfect clearness. Of course he must be married in a year--
|
|
perhaps even in half a year. This was not what he had intended;
|
|
but other schemes would not be hindered: they would simply
|
|
adjust themselves anew. Marriage, of course, must be prepared
|
|
for in the usual way. A house must be taken instead of the rooms
|
|
he at present occupied; and Lydgate, having heard Rosamond speak
|
|
with admiration of old Mrs. Bretton's house (situated in Lowick
|
|
Gate), took notice when it fell vacant after the old lady's death,
|
|
and immediately entered into treaty for it.
|
|
|
|
He did this in an episodic way, very much as he gave orders to his
|
|
tailor for every requisite of perfect dress, without any notion
|
|
of being extravagant. On the contrary, he would have despised any
|
|
ostentation of expense; his profession had familiarized him with all
|
|
grades of poverty, and he cared much for those who suffered hardships.
|
|
He would have behaved perfectly at a table where the sauce was served
|
|
in a jug with the handle off, and he would have remembered nothing
|
|
about a grand dinner except that a man was there who talked well.
|
|
But it had never occurred to him that he should live in any other
|
|
than what he would have called an ordinary way, with green glasses
|
|
for hock, and excellent waiting at table. In warming himself at
|
|
French social theories he had brought away no smell of scorching.
|
|
We may handle even extreme opinions with impunity while our furniture,
|
|
our dinner-giving, and preference for armorial bearings in our
|
|
own ease, link us indissolubly with the established order.
|
|
And Lydgate's tendency was not towards extreme opinions: he would
|
|
have liked no barefooted doctrines, being particular about his boots:
|
|
he was no radical in relation to anything but medical reform
|
|
and the prosecution of discovery. In the rest of practical life
|
|
he walked by hereditary habit; half from that personal pride
|
|
and unreflecting egoism which I have already called commonness,
|
|
and half from that naivete which belonged to preoccupation
|
|
with favorite ideas.
|
|
|
|
Any inward debate Lydgate had as to the consequences of this
|
|
engagement which had stolen upon him, turned on the paucity of time
|
|
rather than of money. Certainly, being in love and being expected
|
|
continually by some one who always turned out to be prettier
|
|
than memory could represent her to be, did interfere with the
|
|
diligent use of spare hours which might serve some "plodding
|
|
fellow of a German" to make the great, imminent discovery.
|
|
This was really an argument for not deferring the marriage too long,
|
|
as he implied to Mr. Farebrother, one day that the Vicar came
|
|
to his room with some pond-products which he wanted to examine
|
|
under a better microscope than his own, and, finding Lydgate's
|
|
tableful of apparatus and specimens in confusion, said sarcastically--
|
|
|
|
"Eros has degenerated; he began by introducing order and harmony,
|
|
and now he brings back chaos."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, at some stages," said Lydgate, lifting his brows and smiling,
|
|
while he began to arrange his microscope. "But a better order will
|
|
begin after."
|
|
|
|
"Soon?" said the Vicar.
|
|
|
|
"I hope so, really. This unsettled state of affairs uses up the time,
|
|
and when one has notions in science, every moment is an opportunity.
|
|
I feel sure that marriage must be the best thing for a man who wants
|
|
to work steadily. He has everything at home then--no teasing with
|
|
personal speculations--he can get calmness and freedom."
|
|
|
|
"You are an enviable dog," said the Vicar, "to have such a prospect--
|
|
Rosamond, calmness and freedom, all to your share. Here am
|
|
I with nothing but my pipe and pond-animalcules. Now, are you ready?"
|
|
|
|
Lydgate did not mention to the Vicar another reason he had
|
|
for wishing to shorten the period of courtship. It was rather
|
|
irritating to him, even with the wine of love in his veins, to be
|
|
obliged to mingle so often with the family party at the Vincys',
|
|
and to enter so much into Middlemarch gossip, protracted good cheer,
|
|
whist-playing, and general futility. He had to be deferential
|
|
when Mr. Vincy decided questions with trenchant ignorance,
|
|
especially as to those liquors which were the best inward pickle,
|
|
preserving you from the effects of bad air. Mrs. Vincy's openness
|
|
and simplicity were quite unstreaked with suspicion as to the subtle
|
|
offence she might give to the taste of her intended son-in-law;
|
|
and altogether Lydgate had to confess to himself that he was
|
|
descending a little in relation to Rosamond's family. But that
|
|
exquisite creature herself suffered in the same sort of way:--
|
|
it was at least one delightful thought that in marrying her,
|
|
he could give her a much-needed transplantation.
|
|
|
|
"Dear!" he said to her one evening, in his gentlest tone, as he
|
|
sat down by her and looked closely at her face--
|
|
|
|
But I must first say that he had found her alone in the drawing-room,
|
|
where the great old-fashioned window, almost as large as the side
|
|
of the room, was opened to the summer scents of the garden at the
|
|
back of the house. Her father and mother were gone to a party,
|
|
and the rest were all out with the butterflies.
|
|
|
|
"Dear! your eyelids are red."
|
|
|
|
"Are they?" said Rosamond. "I wonder why." It was not in her
|
|
nature to pour forth wishes or grievances. They only came forth
|
|
gracefully on solicitation.
|
|
|
|
"As if you could hide it from me!"? said Lydgate, laying his hand tenderly
|
|
on both of hers. "Don't I see a tiny drop on one of the lashes?
|
|
Things trouble you, and you don't tell me. That is unloving."
|
|
|
|
"Why should I tell you what you cannot alter? They are
|
|
every-day things:--perhaps they have been a little worse lately."
|
|
|
|
"Family annoyances. Don't fear speaking. I guess them."
|
|
|
|
"Papa has been more irritable lately. Fred makes him angry, and this
|
|
morning there was a fresh quarrel because Fred threatens to throw
|
|
his whole education away, and do something quite beneath him.
|
|
And besides--"
|
|
|
|
Rosamond hesitated, and her cheeks were gathering a slight flush.
|
|
Lydgate had never seen her in trouble since the morning of
|
|
their engagement, and he had never felt so passionately towards
|
|
her as at this moment. He kissed the hesitating lips gently,
|
|
as if to encourage them.
|
|
|
|
"I feel that papa is not quite pleased about our engagement,"
|
|
Rosamond continued, almost in a whisper; "and he said last night
|
|
that he should certainly speak to you and say it must be given up."
|
|
|
|
"Will you give it up?" said Lydgate, with quick energy--almost angrily.
|
|
|
|
"I never give up anything that I choose to do," said Rosamond,
|
|
recovering her calmness at the touching of this chord.
|
|
|
|
"God bless you!" said Lydgate, kissing her again. This constancy
|
|
of purpose in the right place was adorable. He went on:--
|
|
|
|
"It is too late now for your father to say that our engagement
|
|
must be given up. You are of age, and I claim you as mine.
|
|
If anything is done to make you unhappy,--that is a reason for
|
|
hastening our marriage."
|
|
|
|
An unmistakable delight shone forth from the blue eyes that met his,
|
|
and the radiance seemed to light up all his future with mild sunshine.
|
|
Ideal happiness (of the kind known in the Arabian Nights, in which you
|
|
are invited to step from the labor and discord of the street into
|
|
a paradise where everything is given to you and nothing claimed)
|
|
seemed to be an affair of a few weeks' waiting, more or less.
|
|
|
|
"Why should we defer it?" he said, with ardent insistence.
|
|
"I have taken the house now: everything else can soon be got ready--
|
|
can it not? You will not mind about new clothes. Those can be
|
|
bought afterwards."
|
|
|
|
"What original notions you clever men have!" said Rosamond, dimpling with
|
|
more thorough laughter than usual at this humorous incongruity.
|
|
"This is the first time I ever heard of wedding-clothes being
|
|
bought after marriage."
|
|
|
|
"But you don't mean to say you would insist on my waiting months
|
|
for the sake of clothes?" said Lydgate, half thinking that Rosamond
|
|
was tormenting him prettily, and half fearing that she really shrank
|
|
from speedy marriage. "Remember, we are looking forward to a better
|
|
sort of happiness even than this--being continually together,
|
|
independent of others, and ordering our lives as we will.
|
|
Come, dear, tell me how soon you can be altogether mine."
|
|
|
|
There was a serious pleading in Lydgate's tone, as if he felt that
|
|
she would be injuring him by any fantastic delays. Rosamond became
|
|
serious too, and slightly meditative; in fact, she was going through
|
|
many intricacies of lace-edging and hosiery and petticoat-tucking,
|
|
in order to give an answer that would at least be approximative.
|
|
|
|
"Six weeks would be ample--say so, Rosamond," insisted Lydgate,
|
|
releasing her hands to put his arm gently round her.
|
|
|
|
One little hand immediately went to pat her hair, while she gave
|
|
her neck a meditative turn, and then said seriously--
|
|
|
|
"There would be the house-linen and the furniture to be prepared.
|
|
Still, mamma could see to those while we were away."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, to be sure. We must be away a week or so."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, more than that!" said Rosamond, earnestly. She was thinking
|
|
of her evening dresses for the visit to Sir Godwin Lydgate's, which
|
|
she had long been secretly hoping for as a delightful employment
|
|
of at least one quarter of the honeymoon, even if she deferred
|
|
her introduction to the uncle who was a doctor of divinity (also
|
|
a pleasing though sober kind of rank, when sustained by blood). She
|
|
looked at her lover with some wondering remonstrance as she spoke,
|
|
and he readily understood that she might wish to lengthen the sweet
|
|
time of double solitude.
|
|
|
|
"Whatever you wish, my darling, when the day is fixed. But let
|
|
us take a decided course, and put an end to any discomfort you
|
|
may be suffering. Six weeks!--I am sure they would be ample."
|
|
|
|
"I could certainly hasten the work," said Rosamond. "Will you, then,
|
|
mention it to papa?--I think it would be better to write to him."
|
|
She blushed and looked at him as the garden flowers look at us when we
|
|
walk forth happily among them in the transcendent evening light:
|
|
is there not a soul beyond utterance, half nymph, half child,
|
|
in those delicate petals which glow and breathe about the centres
|
|
of deep color?
|
|
|
|
He touched her ear and a little bit of neck under it with his lips,
|
|
and they sat quite still for many minutes which flowed by them
|
|
like a small gurgling brook with the kisses of the sun upon it.
|
|
Rosamond thought that no one could be more in love than she was;
|
|
and Lydgate thought that after all his wild mistakes and absurd credulity,
|
|
he had found perfect womanhood--felt as If already breathed upon
|
|
by exquisite wedded affection such as would be bestowed by an
|
|
accomplished creature who venerated his high musings and momentous
|
|
labors and would never interfere with them; who would create order
|
|
in the home and accounts with still magic, yet keep her fingers ready
|
|
to touch the lute and transform life into romance at any moment;
|
|
who was instructed to the true womanly limit and not a hair's-
|
|
breadth beyond--docile, therefore, and ready to carry out behests
|
|
which came from that limit. It was plainer now than ever that his
|
|
notion of remaining much longer a bachelor had been a mistake:
|
|
marriage would not be an obstruction but a furtherance.
|
|
And happening the next day to accompany a patient to Brassing,
|
|
he saw a dinner-service there which struck him as so exactly the right
|
|
thing that he bought it at once. It saved time to do these things
|
|
just when you thought of them, and Lydgate hated ugly crockery.
|
|
The dinner-service in question was expensive, but that might be in
|
|
the nature of dinner-services. Furnishing was necessarily expensive;
|
|
but then it had to be done only once.
|
|
|
|
"It must be lovely," said Mrs. Vincy, when Lydgate mentioned his
|
|
purchase with some descriptive touches. "Just what Rosy ought
|
|
to have. I trust in heaven it won't be broken!"
|
|
|
|
"One must hire servants who will not break things," said Lydgate.
|
|
(Certainly, this was reasoning with an imperfect vision of sequences.
|
|
But at that period there was no sort of reasoning which was not more
|
|
or less sanctioned by men of science.)
|
|
|
|
Of course it was unnecessary to defer the mention of anything
|
|
to mamma, who did not readily take views that were not cheerful,
|
|
and being a happy wife herself, had hardly any feeling but pride
|
|
in her daughter's marriage. But Rosamond had good reasons for
|
|
suggesting to Lydgate that papa should be appealed to in writing.
|
|
She prepared for the arrival of the letter by walking with her papa
|
|
to the warehouse the next morning, and telling him on the way that
|
|
Mr. Lydgate wished to be married soon.
|
|
|
|
"Nonsense, my dear!" said Mr. Vincy. "What has he got to marry on?
|
|
You'd much better give up the engagement. I've told you so pretty
|
|
plainly before this. What have you had such an education for,
|
|
if you are to go and marry a poor man? It's a cruel thing for a father
|
|
to see."
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Lydgate is not poor, papa. He bought Mr. Peacock's practice,
|
|
which, they say, is worth eight or nine hundred a-year."
|
|
|
|
"Stuff and nonsense! What's buying a practice? He might as well
|
|
buy next year's swallows. It'll all slip through his fingers."
|
|
|
|
"On the contrary, papa, he will increase the practice. See how he
|
|
has been called in by the Chettams and Casaubons."
|
|
|
|
"I hope he knows I shan't give anything--with this disappointment
|
|
about Fred, and Parliament going to be dissolved, and machine-breaking
|
|
everywhere, and an election coming on--"
|
|
|
|
"Dear papa! what can that have to do with my marriage?"
|
|
|
|
"A pretty deal to do with it! We may all be ruined for what I know--
|
|
the country's in that state! Some say it's the end of the world,
|
|
and be hanged if I don't think it looks like it! Anyhow, it's not
|
|
a time for me to be drawing money out of my business, and I should
|
|
wish Lydgate to know that."
|
|
|
|
"I am sure he expects nothing, papa. And he has such very
|
|
high connections: he is sure to rise in one way or another.
|
|
He is engaged in making scientific discoveries."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Vincy was silent.
|
|
|
|
"I cannot give up my only prospect of happiness, papa Mr. Lydgate
|
|
is a gentleman. I could never love any one who was not a
|
|
perfect gentleman. You would not like me to go into a consumption,
|
|
as Arabella Hawley did. And you know that I never change my mind."
|
|
|
|
Again papa was silent.
|
|
|
|
"Promise me, papa, that you will consent to what we wish.
|
|
We shall never give each other up; and you know that you have always
|
|
objected to long courtships and late marriages."
|
|
|
|
There was a little more urgency of this kind, till Mr. Vincy said,
|
|
"Well, well, child, he must write to me first before I car answer him,"--
|
|
and Rosamond was certain that she had gained her point.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Vincy's answer consisted chiefly in a demand that Lydgate
|
|
should insure his life--a demand immediately conceded. This was
|
|
a delightfully reassuring idea supposing that Lydgate died,
|
|
but in the mean time not a self-supporting idea. However, it
|
|
seemed to make everything comfortable about Rosamond's marriage;
|
|
and the necessary purchases went on with much spirit. Not without
|
|
prudential considerations, however. A bride (who is going to visit
|
|
at a baronet's) must have a few first-rate pocket-handkerchiefs;
|
|
but beyond the absolutely necessary half-dozen, Rosamond contented
|
|
herself without the very highest style of embroidery and Valenciennes.
|
|
Lydgate also, finding that his sum of eight hundred pounds had been
|
|
considerably reduced since he had come to Middlemarch, restrained his
|
|
inclination for some plate of an old pattern which was shown to him
|
|
when he went into Kibble's establishment at Brassing to buy forks
|
|
and spoons. He was too proud to act as if he presupposed that
|
|
Mr. Vincy would advance money to provide furniture-; and though,
|
|
since it would not be necessary to pay for everything at once,
|
|
some bills would be left standing over, he did not waste time in
|
|
conjecturing how much his father-in-law would give in the form of dowry,
|
|
to make payment easy. He was not going to do anything extravagant,
|
|
but the requisite things must be bought, and it would be bad economy
|
|
to buy them of a poor quality. All these matters were by the bye.
|
|
Lydgate foresaw that science and his profession were the objects
|
|
he should alone pursue enthusiastically; but he could not imagine
|
|
himself pursuing them in such a home as Wrench had--the doors
|
|
all open, the oil-cloth worn, the children in soiled pinafores,
|
|
and lunch lingering in the form of bones, black-handled knives,
|
|
and willow-pattern. But Wrench had a wretched lymphatic wife
|
|
who made a mummy of herself indoors in a large shawl; and he must
|
|
have altogether begun with an ill-chosen domestic apparatus.
|
|
|
|
Rosamond, however, was on her side much occupied with conjectures,
|
|
though her quick imitative perception warned her against betraying
|
|
them too crudely.
|
|
|
|
"I shall like so much to know your family," she said one day,
|
|
when the wedding journey was being discussed. "We might perhaps
|
|
take a direction that would allow us to see them as we returned.
|
|
Which of your uncles do you like best?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh,--my uncle Godwin, I think. He is a good-natured old fellow."
|
|
|
|
"You were constantly at his house at Quallingham, when you were a boy,
|
|
were you not? I should so like to see the old spot and everything
|
|
you were used to. Does he know you are going to be married?"
|
|
|
|
"No," said Lydgate, carelessly, turning in his chair and rubbing
|
|
his hair up.
|
|
|
|
"Do send him word of it, you naughty undutiful nephew. He will
|
|
perhaps ask you to take me to Quallingham; and then you could show
|
|
me about the grounds, and I could imagine you there when you were
|
|
a boy. Remember, you see me in my home, just as it has been since I
|
|
was a child. It is not fair that I should be so ignorant of yours.
|
|
But perhaps you would be a little ashamed of me. I forgot that."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate smiled at her tenderly, and really accepted the suggestion
|
|
that the proud pleasure of showing so charming a bride was worth
|
|
some trouble. And now he came to think of it, he would like to see
|
|
the old spots with Rosamond.
|
|
|
|
"I will write to him, then. But my cousins are bores."
|
|
|
|
It seemed magnificent to Rosamond to be able to speak so slightingly
|
|
of a baronet's family, and she felt much contentment in the prospect
|
|
of being able to estimate them contemptuously on her own account.
|
|
|
|
But mamma was near spoiling all, a day or two later, by saying--
|
|
|
|
"I hope your uncle Sir Godwin will not look down on Rosy, Mr. Lydgate.
|
|
I should think he would do something handsome. A thousand or two
|
|
can be nothing to a baronet."
|
|
|
|
"Mamma!" said Rosamond, blushing deeply; and Lydgate pitied her so
|
|
much that he remained silent and went to the other end of the room
|
|
to examine a print curiously, as if he had been absent-minded. Mamma
|
|
had a little filial lecture afterwards, and was docile as usual.
|
|
But Rosamond reflected that if any of those high-bred cousins
|
|
who were bores, should be induced to visit Middlemarch, they would
|
|
see many things in her own family which might shock them. Hence it
|
|
seemed desirable that Lydgate should by-and-by get some first-rate
|
|
position elsewhere than in Middlemarch; and this could hardly be
|
|
difficult in the case of a man who had a titled uncle and could
|
|
make discoveries. Lydgate, you perceive, had talked fervidly to Rosamond
|
|
of his hopes as to the highest uses of his life, and had found it
|
|
delightful to be listened to by a creature who would bring him the
|
|
sweet furtherance of satisfying affection--beauty--repose--such help
|
|
as our thoughts get from the summer sky and the flower-fringed meadows.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate relied much on the psychological difference between
|
|
what for the sake of variety I will call goose and gander:
|
|
especially on the innate submissiveness of the goose as beautifully
|
|
corresponding to the strength of the gander.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XXXVII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Thrice happy she that is so well assured
|
|
Unto herself and settled so in heart
|
|
That neither will for better be allured
|
|
Ne fears to worse with any chance to start,
|
|
But like a steddy ship doth strongly part
|
|
The raging waves and keeps her course aright;
|
|
Ne aught for tempest doth from it depart,
|
|
Ne aught for fairer weather's false delight.
|
|
Such self-assurance need not fear the spight
|
|
Of grudging foes; ne favour seek of friends;
|
|
But in the stay of her own stedfast might
|
|
Neither to one herself nor other bends.
|
|
Most happy she that most assured doth rest,
|
|
But he most happy who such one loves best."
|
|
--SPENSER.
|
|
|
|
|
|
The doubt hinted by Mr. Vincy whether it were only the general
|
|
election or the end of the world that was coming on, now that George
|
|
the Fourth was dead, Parliament dissolved, Wellington and Peel
|
|
generally depreciated and the new King apologetic, was a feeble
|
|
type of the uncertainties in provincial opinion at that time.
|
|
With the glow-worm lights of country places, how could men see
|
|
which were their own thoughts in the confusion of a Tory Ministry
|
|
passing Liberal measures, of Tory nobles and electors being anxious
|
|
to return Liberals rather than friends of the recreant Ministers,
|
|
and of outcries for remedies which seemed to have a mysteriously remote
|
|
bearing on private interest, and were made suspicious by the advocacy
|
|
of disagreeable neighbors? Buyers of the Middlemarch newspapers
|
|
found themselves in an anomalous position: during the agitation
|
|
on the Catholic Question many had given up the "Pioneer"--which had
|
|
a motto from Charles James Fox and was in the van of progress--
|
|
because it had taken Peel's side about the Papists, and had thus
|
|
blotted its Liberalism with a toleration of Jesuitry and Baal;
|
|
but they were illsatisfied with the "Trumpet," which--since its
|
|
blasts against Rome, and in the general flaccidity of the public
|
|
mind (nobody knowing who would support whom)--had become feeble
|
|
in its blowing.
|
|
|
|
It was a time, according to a noticeable article in the "Pioneer,"
|
|
when the crying needs of the country might well counteract a reluctance
|
|
to public action on the part of men whose minds had from long
|
|
experience acquired breadth as well as concentration, decision of
|
|
judgment as well as tolerance, dispassionateness as well as energy--
|
|
in fact, all those qualities which in the melancholy experience
|
|
of mankind have been the least disposed to share lodgings.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Hackbutt, whose fluent speech was at that time floating more widely
|
|
than usual, and leaving much uncertainty as to its ultimate channel,
|
|
was heard to say in Mr. Hawley's office that the article in question
|
|
"emanated" from Brooke of Tipton, and that Brooke had secretly
|
|
bought the "Pioneer" some months ago.
|
|
|
|
"That means mischief, eh?" said Mr. Hawley. "He's got the freak of
|
|
being a popular man now, after dangling about like a stray tortoise.
|
|
So much the worse for him. I've had my eye on him for some time.
|
|
He shall be prettily pumped upon. He's a damned bad landlord.
|
|
What business has an old county man to come currying favor with a low
|
|
set of dark-blue freemen? As to his paper, I only hope he may do the
|
|
writing himself. It would be worth our paying for."
|
|
|
|
"I understand he has got a very brilliant young fellow to edit it,
|
|
who can write the highest style of leading article, quite equal
|
|
to anything in the London papers. And he means to take very high
|
|
ground on Reform."
|
|
|
|
"Let Brooke reform his rent-roll. He's a cursed old screw,
|
|
and the buildings all over his estate are going to rack.
|
|
I sup pose this young fellow is some loose fish from London."
|
|
|
|
"His name is Ladislaw. He is said to be of foreign extraction."
|
|
|
|
"I know the sort," said Mr. Hawley; "some emissary. He'll begin with
|
|
flourishing about the Rights of Man and end with murdering a wench.
|
|
That's the style."
|
|
|
|
"You must concede that there are abuses, Hawley," said Mr. Hackbutt,
|
|
foreseeing some political disagreement with his family lawyer.
|
|
"I myself should never favor immoderate views--in fact I take my
|
|
stand with Huskisson--but I cannot blind myself to the consideration
|
|
that the non-representation of large towns--"
|
|
|
|
"Large towns be damned!" said Mr. Hawley, impatient of exposition.
|
|
"I know a little too much about Middlemarch elections. Let 'em
|
|
quash every pocket borough to-morrow, and bring in every mushroom
|
|
town in the kingdom--they'll only increase the expense of getting
|
|
into Parliament. I go upon facts."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Hawley's disgust at the notion of the "Pioneer" being edited
|
|
by an emissary, and of Brooke becoming actively political--
|
|
as if a tortoise of desultory pursuits should protrude its small
|
|
head ambitiously and become rampant--was hardly equal to the
|
|
annoyance felt by some members of Mr. Brooke's own family.
|
|
The result had oozed forth gradually, like the discovery that your
|
|
neighbor has set up an unpleasant kind of manufacture which will be
|
|
permanently under your nostrils without legal remedy. The "Pioneer"
|
|
had been secretly bought even before Will Ladislaw's arrival,
|
|
the expected opportunity having offered itself in the readiness
|
|
of the proprietor to part with a valuable property which did not pay;
|
|
and in the interval since Mr. Brooke had written his invitation,
|
|
those germinal ideas of making his mind tell upon the world at
|
|
large which had been present in him from his younger years, but had
|
|
hitherto lain in some obstruction, had been sprouting under cover.
|
|
|
|
The development was much furthered by a delight in his guest which
|
|
proved greater even than he had anticipated. For it seemed that Will
|
|
was not only at home in all those artistic and literary subjects
|
|
which Mr. Brooke had gone into at one time, but that he was strikingly
|
|
ready at seizing the points of the political situation, and dealing
|
|
with them in that large spirit which, aided by adequate memory,
|
|
lends itself to quotation and general effectiveness of treatment.
|
|
|
|
"He seems to me a kind of Shelley, you know," Mr. Brooke took
|
|
an opportunity of saying, for the gratification of Mr. Casaubon.
|
|
"I don't mean as to anything objectionable--laxities or atheism,
|
|
or anything of that kind, you know--Ladislaw's sentiments in every
|
|
way I am sure are good--indeed, we were talking a great deal
|
|
together last night. But he has the same sort of enthusiasm
|
|
for liberty, freedom, emancipation--a fine thing under guidance--
|
|
under guidance, you know. I think I shall be able to put him on
|
|
the right tack; and I am the more pleased because he is a relation
|
|
of yours, Casaubon."
|
|
|
|
If the right tack implied anything more precise than the rest
|
|
of Mr. Brooke's speech, Mr. Casaubon silently hoped that it
|
|
referred to some occupation at a great distance from Lowick.
|
|
He had disliked Will while he helped him, but he had begun to dislike
|
|
him still more now that Will had declined his help. That is the
|
|
way with us when we have any uneasy jealousy in our disposition:
|
|
if our talents are chiefly of the burrowing kind, our honey-sipping
|
|
cousin (whom we have grave reasons for objecting to) is likely
|
|
to have a secret contempt for us, and any one who admires him
|
|
passes an oblique criticism on ourselves. Having the scruples of
|
|
rectitude in our souls, we are above the meanness of injuring him--
|
|
rather we meet all his claims on us by active benefits; and the drawing
|
|
of cheeks for him, being a superiority which he must recognize,
|
|
gives our bitterness a milder infusion. Now Mr. Casaubon had been
|
|
deprived of that superiority (as anything more than a remembrance)
|
|
in a sudden, capricious manner. His antipathy to Will did
|
|
not spring from the common jealousy of a winter-worn husband:
|
|
it was something deeper, bred by his lifelong claims and discontents;
|
|
but Dorothea, now that she was present--Dorothea, as a young
|
|
wife who herself had shown an offensive capability of criticism,
|
|
necessarily gave concentration to the uneasiness which had before
|
|
been vague.
|
|
|
|
Will Ladislaw on his side felt that his dislike was flourishing
|
|
at the expense of his gratitude, and spent much inward discourse in
|
|
justifying the dislike. Casaubon hated him--he knew that very well;
|
|
on his first entrance he could discern a bitterness in the mouth
|
|
and a venom in the glance which would almost justify declaring war
|
|
in spite of past benefits. He was much obliged to Casaubon in the past,
|
|
but really the act of marrying this wife was a set-off against
|
|
the obligation It was a question whether gratitude which refers
|
|
to what is done for one's self ought not to give way to indignation
|
|
at what is done against another. And Casaubon had done a wrong
|
|
to Dorothea in marrying her. A man was bound to know himself better
|
|
than that, and if he chose to grow gray crunching bones in a cavern,
|
|
he had no business to be luring a girl into his companionship.
|
|
"It is the most horrible of virgin-sacrifices," said Will; and he
|
|
painted to himself what were Dorothea's inward sorrows as if he had
|
|
been writing a choric wail. But he would never lose sight of her:
|
|
he would watch over her--if he gave up everything else in life
|
|
he would watch over her, and she should know that she had one
|
|
slave in the world, Will had--to use Sir Thomas Browne's phrase--
|
|
a "passionate prodigality" of statement both to himself and others.
|
|
The simple truth was that nothing then invited him so strongly as the
|
|
presence of Dorothea.
|
|
|
|
Invitations of the formal kind had been wanting, however, for Will
|
|
had never been asked to go to Lowick. Mr. Brooke, indeed, confident of
|
|
doing everything agreeable which Casaubon, poor fellow, was too much
|
|
absorbed to think of, had arranged to bring Ladislaw to Lowick
|
|
several times (not neglecting meanwhile to introduce him elsewhere
|
|
on every opportunity as "a young relative of Casaubon's"). And
|
|
though Will had not seen Dorothea alone, their interviews had been
|
|
enough to restore her former sense of young companionship with one
|
|
who was cleverer than herself, yet seemed ready to be swayed by her.
|
|
Poor Dorothea before her marriage had never found much room
|
|
in other minds for what she cared most to say; and she had not,
|
|
as we know, enjoyed her husband's superior instruction so much
|
|
as she had expected. If she spoke with any keenness of interest
|
|
to Mr. Casaubon, he heard her with an air of patience as if she
|
|
had given a quotation from the Delectus familiar to him from his
|
|
tender years, and sometimes mentioned curtly what ancient sects
|
|
or personages had held similar ideas, as if there were too much
|
|
of that sort in stock already; at other times he would inform
|
|
her that she was mistaken, and reassert what her remark had questioned.
|
|
|
|
But Will Ladislaw always seemed to see more in what she said than she
|
|
herself saw. Dorothea had little vanity, but she had the ardent
|
|
woman's need to rule beneficently by making the joy of another soul.
|
|
Hence the mere chance of seeing Will occasionally was like a lunette
|
|
opened in the wall of her prison, giving her a glimpse of the sunny air;
|
|
and this pleasure began to nullify her original alarm at what her husband
|
|
might think about the introduction of Will as her uncle's guest.
|
|
On this subject Mr. Casaubon had remained dumb.
|
|
|
|
But Will wanted to talk with Dorothea alone, and was impatient
|
|
of slow circumstance. However slight the terrestrial intercourse
|
|
between Dante and Beatrice or Petrarch and Laura, time changes
|
|
the proportion of things, and in later days it is preferable to have
|
|
fewer sonnets and more conversation. Necessity excused stratagem,
|
|
but stratagem was limited by the dread of offending Dorothea.
|
|
He found out at last that he wanted to take a particular sketch
|
|
at Lowick; and one morning when Mr. Brooke had to drive along
|
|
the Lowick road on his way to the county town, Will asked to be set
|
|
down with his sketch-book and camp-stool at Lowick, and without
|
|
announcing himself at the Manor settled himself to sketch in a
|
|
position where he must see Dorothea if she came out to walk--
|
|
and he knew that she usually walked an hour in the morning.
|
|
|
|
But the stratagem was defeated by the weather. Clouds gathered with
|
|
treacherous quickness, the rain came down, and Will was obliged to take
|
|
shelter in the house. He intended, on the strength of relationship,
|
|
to go into the drawing-room and wait there without being announced;
|
|
and seeing his old acquaintance the butler in the hall, he said,
|
|
"Don't mention that I am here, Pratt; I will wait till luncheon;
|
|
I know Mr. Casaubon does not like to be disturbed when he is in
|
|
the library."
|
|
|
|
"Master is out, sir; there's only Mrs. Casaubon in the library.
|
|
I'd better tell her you're here, sir," said Pratt, a red-cheeked
|
|
man given to lively converse with Tantripp, and often agreeing with
|
|
her that it must be dull for Madam.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, very well; this confounded rain has hindered me from sketching,"
|
|
said Will, feeling so happy that he affected indifference with
|
|
delightful ease.
|
|
|
|
In another minute he was in the library, and Dorothea was meeting
|
|
him with her sweet unconstrained smile.
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Casaubon has gone to the Archdeacon's," she said, at once.
|
|
"I don't know whether he will be at home again long before dinner.
|
|
He was uncertain how long he should be. Did you want to say anything
|
|
particular to him?"
|
|
|
|
"No; I came to sketch, but the rain drove me in. Else I would
|
|
not have disturbed you yet. I supposed that Mr. Casaubon was here,
|
|
and I know he dislikes interruption at this hour."
|
|
|
|
"I am indebted to the rain, then. I am so glad to see you."
|
|
Dorothea uttered these common words with the simple sincerity of an
|
|
unhappy child, visited at school.
|
|
|
|
"I really came for the chance of seeing you alone," said Will,
|
|
mysteriously forced to be just as simple as she was. He could
|
|
not stay to ask himself, why not? "I wanted to talk about things,
|
|
as we did in Rome. It always makes a difference when other people
|
|
are present."
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Dorothea, in her clear full tone of assent. "Sit down."
|
|
She seated herself on a dark ottoman with the brown books behind her,
|
|
looking in her plain dress of some thin woollen-white material,
|
|
without a single ornament on her besides her wedding-ring,
|
|
as if she were under a vow to be different from all other women;
|
|
and Will sat down opposite her at two yards' distance, the light
|
|
falling on his bright curls and delicate but rather petulant profile,
|
|
with its defiant curves of lip and chin. Each looked at the other
|
|
as if they had been two flowers which had opened then and there.
|
|
Dorothea for the moment forgot her husband's mysterious irritation
|
|
against Will: it seemed fresh water at her thirsty lips to speak
|
|
without fear to the one person whom she had found receptive; for in
|
|
looking backward through sadness she exaggerated a past solace.
|
|
|
|
"I have often thought that I should like to talk to you again,"
|
|
she said, immediately. "It seems strange to me how many things I
|
|
said to you."
|
|
|
|
"I remember them all," said Will, with the unspeakable content
|
|
in his soul of feeling that he was in the presence of a creature
|
|
worthy to be perfectly loved. I think his own feelings at that
|
|
moment were perfect, for we mortals have our divine moments,
|
|
when love is satisfied in the completeness the beloved object.
|
|
|
|
"I have tried to learn a great deal since we were in Rome,"
|
|
said Dorothea. "I can read Latin a little, and I am beginning to
|
|
understand just a little Greek. I can help Mr. Casaubon better now.
|
|
I can find out references for him and save his eyes in many ways.
|
|
But it is very difficult to be learned; it seems as if people were
|
|
worn out on the way to great thoughts, and can never enjoy them
|
|
because they are too tired."
|
|
|
|
"If a man has a capacity for great thoughts, he is likely to overtake
|
|
them before he is decrepit," said Will, with irrepressible quickness.
|
|
But through certain sensibilities Dorothea was as quick as he,
|
|
and seeing her face change, he added, immediately, "But it is quite
|
|
true that the best minds have been sometimes overstrained in working
|
|
out their ideas."
|
|
|
|
"You correct me," said Dorothea. "I expressed myself ill.
|
|
I should have said that those who have great thoughts get too much
|
|
worn in working them out. I used to feel about that, even when I
|
|
was a little girl; and it always seemed to me that the use I should
|
|
like to make of my life would be to help some one who did great works,
|
|
so that his burthen might be lighter."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea was led on to this bit of autobiography without any
|
|
sense of making a revelation. But she had never before said
|
|
anything to Will which threw so strong a light on her marriage.
|
|
He did not shrug his shoulders; and for want of that muscular
|
|
outlet he thought the more irritably of beautiful lips kissing
|
|
holy skulls and other emptinesses ecclesiastically enshrined.
|
|
Also he had to take care that his speech should not betray that thought.
|
|
|
|
"But you may easily carry the help too far," he said, "and get
|
|
over-wrought yourself. Are you not too much shut up? You already
|
|
look paler. It would be better for Mr. Casaubon to have a secretary;
|
|
he could easily get a man who would do half his work for him.
|
|
It would save him more effectually, and you need only help him in
|
|
lighter ways."
|
|
|
|
"How can you think of that?" said Dorothea, in a tone of
|
|
earnest remonstrance. "I should have no happiness if I did not
|
|
help him in his work. What could I do? There is no good to be
|
|
done in Lowick. The only thing I desire is to help him more.
|
|
And he objects to a secretary: please not to mention that again."
|
|
|
|
"Certainly not, now I know your feeling. But I have heard both
|
|
Mr. Brooke and Sir James Chettam express the same wish."
|
|
|
|
"Yes?" said Dorothea, "but they don't understand--they want me
|
|
to be a great deal on horseback, and have the garden altered and
|
|
new conservatories, to fill up my days. I thought you could understand
|
|
that one's mind has other wants," she added, rather impatiently--
|
|
"besides, Mr. Casaubon cannot bear to hear of a secretary."
|
|
|
|
"My mistake is excusable," said Will. "In old days I used to hear
|
|
Mr. Casaubon speak as if he looked forward to having a secretary.
|
|
Indeed he held out the prospect of that office to me. But I turned
|
|
out to be--not good enough for it."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea was trying to extract out of this an excuse for her
|
|
husband's evident repulsion, as she said, with a playful smile,
|
|
"You were not a steady worker enough."
|
|
|
|
"No," said Will, shaking his head backward somewhat after the manner
|
|
of a-spirited horse. And then, the old irritable demon prompting him
|
|
to give another good pinch at the moth-wings of poor Mr. Casaubon's
|
|
glory, he went on, "And I have seen since that Mr. Casaubon does
|
|
not like any one to overlook his work. and know thoroughly what he
|
|
is doing. He is too doubtful--too uncertain of himself. I may
|
|
not be good for much, but he dislikes me because I disagree with him."
|
|
|
|
Will was not without his intentions to be always generous,
|
|
but our tongues are little triggers which have usually been pulled
|
|
before general intentions can be brought to bear. And it was too
|
|
intolerable that Casaubon's dislike of him should not be fairly
|
|
accounted for to Dorothea. Yet when he had spoken he was rather
|
|
uneasy as to the effect on her.
|
|
|
|
But Dorothea was strangely quiet--not immediately indignant,
|
|
as she had been on a like occasion in Rome. And the cause lay deep.
|
|
She was no longer struggling against the perception of facts,
|
|
but adjusting herself to their clearest perception; and now when she
|
|
looked steadily at her husband's failure, still more at his possible
|
|
consciousness of failure, she seemed to be looking along the one
|
|
tract where duty became tenderness. Will's want of reticence
|
|
might have been met with more severity, if he had not already been
|
|
recommended to her mercy by her husband's dislike, which must seem
|
|
hard to her till she saw better reason for it.
|
|
|
|
She did not answer at once, but after looking down ruminatingly
|
|
she said, with some earnestness, "Mr. Casaubon must have overcome
|
|
his dislike of you so far as his actions were concerned:
|
|
and that is admirable."
|
|
|
|
"Yes; he has shown a sense of justice in family matters.
|
|
It was an abominable thing that my grandmother should have been
|
|
disinherited because she made what they called a mesalliance,
|
|
though there was nothing to be said against her husband except
|
|
that he was a Polish refugee who gave lessons for his bread."
|
|
|
|
"I wish I knew all about her!" said Dorothea. "I wonder how she
|
|
bore the change from wealth to poverty: I wonder whether she
|
|
was happy with her husband! Do you know much about them?"
|
|
|
|
"No; only that my grandfather was a patriot--a bright fellow--
|
|
could speak many languages--musical--got his bread by teaching
|
|
all sorts of things. They both died rather early. And I never
|
|
knew much of my father, beyond what my mother told me; but he
|
|
inherited the musical talents. I remember his slow walk and his
|
|
long thin hands; and one day remains with me when he was lying ill,
|
|
and I was very hungry, and had only a little bit of bread."
|
|
|
|
"Ah, what a different life from mine!" said Dorothea,
|
|
with keen interest, clasping her hands on her lap. "I have
|
|
always had too much of everything. But tell me how it was--
|
|
Mr. Casaubon could not have known about you then."
|
|
|
|
"No; but my father had made himself known to Mr. Casaubon,
|
|
and that was my last hungry day. My father died soon after,
|
|
and my mother and I were well taken care of. Mr. Casaubon always
|
|
expressly recognized it as his duty to take care of us because of
|
|
the harsh injustice which had been shown to his mother's sister.
|
|
But now I am telling you what is not new to you."
|
|
|
|
In his inmost soul Will was conscious of wishing to tell Dorothea
|
|
what was rather new even in his own construction of things--
|
|
namely, that Mr. Casaubon had never done more than pay a debt
|
|
towards him. Will was much too good a fellow to be easy under
|
|
the sense of being ungrateful. And when gratitude has become
|
|
a matter of reasoning there are many ways of escaping from its bonds.
|
|
|
|
"No," answered Dorothea; "Mr. Casaubon has always avoided dwelling
|
|
on his own honorable actions." She did not feel that her husband's
|
|
conduct was depreciated; but this notion of what justice had required
|
|
in his relations with Will Ladislaw took strong hold on her mind.
|
|
After a moment's pause, she added, "He had never told me that he
|
|
supported your mother. Is she still living?"
|
|
|
|
"No; she died by an accident--a fall--four years ago. It is curious
|
|
that my mother, too, ran away from her family, but not for the sake
|
|
of her husband. She never would tell me anything about her family,
|
|
except that she forsook them to get her own living--went on the stage,
|
|
in fact. She was a dark-eyed creature, with crisp ringlets,
|
|
and never seemed to be getting old. You see I come of rebellious
|
|
blood on both sides," Will ended, smiling brightly at Dorothea,
|
|
while she was still looking with serious intentness before her,
|
|
like a child seeing a drama for the first time.
|
|
|
|
But her face, too, broke into a smile as she said, "That is
|
|
your apology, I suppose, for having yourself been rather rebellious;
|
|
I mean, to Mr. Casaubon's wishes. You must remember that you have
|
|
not done what he thought best for you. And if he dislikes you--
|
|
you were speaking of dislike a little while ago--but I should
|
|
rather say, if he has shown any painful feelings towards you,
|
|
you must consider how sensitive he has become from the wearing effect
|
|
of study. Perhaps," she continued, getting into a pleading tone,
|
|
"my uncle has not told you how serious Mr. Casaubon's illness was.
|
|
It would be very petty of us who are well and can bear things,
|
|
to think much of small offences from those who carry a weight
|
|
of trial."
|
|
|
|
"You teach me better," said Will. "I will never grumble on that
|
|
subject again." There was a gentleness in his tone which came from
|
|
the unutterable contentment of perceiving--what Dorothea was hardly
|
|
conscious of--that she was travelling into the remoteness of pure
|
|
pity and loyalty towards her husband. Will was ready to adore
|
|
her pity and loyalty, if she would associate himself with her in
|
|
manifesting them. "I have really sometimes been a perverse fellow,"
|
|
he went on, "but I will never again, if I can help it, do or say
|
|
what you would disapprove."
|
|
|
|
"That is very good of you," said Dorothea, with another open smile.
|
|
"I shall have a little kingdom then, where I shall give laws.
|
|
But you will soon go away, out of my rule, I imagine. You will soon
|
|
be tired of staying at the Grange."
|
|
|
|
"That is a point I wanted to mention to you--one of the reasons why I
|
|
wished to speak to you alone. Mr. Brooke proposes that I should stay
|
|
in this neighborhood. He has bought one of the Middlemarch newspapers,
|
|
and he wishes me to conduct that, and also to help him in other ways."
|
|
|
|
"Would not that be a sacrifice of higher prospects for you?"
|
|
said Dorothea.
|
|
|
|
"Perhaps; but I have always been blamed for thinking of prospects,
|
|
and not settling to anything. And here is something offered to me.
|
|
If you would not like me to accept it, I will give it up.
|
|
Otherwise I would rather stay in this part of the country than go away.
|
|
I belong to nobody anywhere else."
|
|
|
|
"I should like you to stay very much," said Dorothea, at once,
|
|
as simply and readily as she had spoken at Rome. There was not
|
|
the shadow of a reason in her mind at the moment why she should
|
|
not say so.
|
|
|
|
"Then I WILL stay," said Ladislaw, shaking his head backward,
|
|
rising and going towards the window, as if to see whether the rain
|
|
had ceased.
|
|
|
|
But the next moment, Dorothea, according to a habit which was
|
|
getting continually stronger, began to reflect that her husband felt
|
|
differently from herself, and she colored deeply under the double
|
|
embarrassment of having expressed what might be in opposition to her
|
|
husband's feeling, and of having to suggest this opposition to Will.
|
|
If is face was not turned towards her, and this made it easier to say--
|
|
|
|
"But my opinion is of little consequence on such a subject.
|
|
I think you should be guided by Mr. Casaubon. I spoke without
|
|
thinking of anything else than my own feeling, which has
|
|
nothing to do with the real question. But it now occurs to me--
|
|
perhaps Mr. Casaubon might see that the proposal was not wise.
|
|
Can you not wait now and mention it to him?"
|
|
|
|
"I can't wait to-day," said Will, inwardly seared by the possibility
|
|
that Mr. Casaubon would enter. "The rain is quite over now. I told
|
|
Mr. Brooke not to call for me: I would rather walk the five miles.
|
|
I shall strike across Halsell Common, and see the gleams on the
|
|
wet grass. I like that."
|
|
|
|
He approached her to shake hands quite hurriedly, longing but not
|
|
daring to say, "Don't mention the subject to Mr. Casaubon."
|
|
No, he dared not, could not say it. To ask her to be less simple
|
|
and direct would be like breathing on the crystal that you want to
|
|
see the light through. And there was always the other great dread--
|
|
of himself becoming dimmed and forever ray-shorn in her eyes.
|
|
|
|
"I wish you could have stayed," said Dorothea, with a touch
|
|
of mournfulness, as she rose and put out her hand. She also had
|
|
her thought which she did not like to express:--Will certainly
|
|
ought to lose no time in consulting Mr. Casaubon's wishes,
|
|
but for her to urge this might seem an undue dictation.
|
|
|
|
So they only said "Good-by," and Will quitted the house,
|
|
striking across the fields so as not to run any risk of encountering
|
|
Mr. Casaubon's carriage, which, however, did not appear at the gate
|
|
until four o'clock. That was an unpropitious hour for coming home:
|
|
it was too early to gain the moral support under ennui of dressing
|
|
his person for dinner, and too late to undress his mind of the day's
|
|
frivolous ceremony and affairs, so as to be prepared for a good
|
|
plunge into the serious business of study. On such occasions he
|
|
usually threw into an easy-chair in the library, and allowed Dorothea
|
|
to read the London papers to him, closing his eyes the while.
|
|
To-day, however, he declined that relief, observing that he had
|
|
already had too many public details urged upon him; but he spoke
|
|
more cheerfully than usual, when Dorothea asked about his fatigue,
|
|
and added with that air of formal effort which never forsook
|
|
him even when he spoke without his waistcoat and cravat--
|
|
|
|
"I have had the gratification of meeting my former acquaintance,
|
|
Dr. Spanning, to-day, and of being praised by one who is himself
|
|
a worthy recipient of praise. He spoke very handsomely of my late
|
|
tractate on the Egyptian Mysteries,--using, in fact, terms which it
|
|
would not become me to repeat." In uttering the last clause,
|
|
Mr. Casaubon leaned over the elbow of his chair, and swayed his
|
|
head up and down, apparently as a muscular outlet instead of that
|
|
recapitulation which would not have been becoming.
|
|
|
|
"I am very glad you have had that pleasure," said Dorothea,
|
|
delighted to see her husband less weary than usual at this hour.
|
|
"Before you came I had been regretting that you happened to be
|
|
out to-day."
|
|
|
|
"Why so, my dear?" said Mr. Casaubon, throwing himself backward again.
|
|
|
|
"Because Mr. Ladislaw has been here; and he has mentioned a proposal
|
|
of my uncle's which I should like to know your opinion of."
|
|
Her husband she felt was really concerned in this question.
|
|
Even with her ignorance of the world she had a vague impression
|
|
that the position offered to Will was out of keeping with his family
|
|
connections, and certainly Mr. Casaubon had a claim to be consulted.
|
|
He did not speak, but merely bowed.
|
|
|
|
"Dear uncle, you know, has many projects. It appears that he
|
|
has bought one of the Middlemarch newspapers, and he has asked
|
|
Mr. Ladislaw to stay in this neighborhood and conduct the paper
|
|
for him, besides helping him in other ways."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea looked at her husband while she spoke, but he had at
|
|
first blinked and finally closed his eyes, as if to save them;
|
|
while his lips became more tense. "What is your opinion?" she added,
|
|
rather timidly, after a slight pause.
|
|
|
|
"Did Mr. Ladislaw come on purpose to ask my opinion?" said Mr. Casaubon,
|
|
opening his eyes narrowly with a knife-edged look at Dorothea.
|
|
She was really uncomfortable on the point he inquired about, but she
|
|
only became a little more serious, and her eyes did not swerve.
|
|
|
|
"No," she answered immediately, "he did not say that he came to ask
|
|
your opinion. But when he mentioned the proposal, he of course
|
|
expected me to tell you of it."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon was silent.
|
|
|
|
"I feared that you might feel some objection. But certainly
|
|
a young man with so much talent might be very useful to my uncle--
|
|
might help him to do good in a better way. And Mr. Ladislaw wishes
|
|
to have some fixed occupation. He has been blamed, he says,
|
|
for not seeking something of that kind, and he would like to stay
|
|
in this neighborhood because no one cares for him elsewhere."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea felt that this was a consideration to soften her husband.
|
|
However, he did not speak, and she presently recurred to Dr. Spanning
|
|
and the Archdeacon's breakfast. But there was no longer sunshine
|
|
on these subjects.
|
|
|
|
The next morning, without Dorothea's knowledge, Mr. Casaubon
|
|
despatched the following letter, beginning "Dear Mr. Ladislaw"
|
|
(he had always before addressed him as "Will"):--
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Mrs. Casaubon informs me that a proposal has been made to you,
|
|
and (according to an inference by no means stretched) has on your
|
|
part been in some degree entertained, which involves your residence
|
|
in this neighborhood in a capacity which I am justified in saying
|
|
touches my own position in such a way as renders it not only natural
|
|
and warrantable IN me when that effect is viewed under the
|
|
influence of legitimate feeling, but incumbent on me when the same
|
|
effect is considered in the light of my responsibilities, to state
|
|
at once that your acceptance of the proposal above indicated would
|
|
be highly offensive to me. That I have some claim to the exercise
|
|
of a veto here, would not, I believe, be denied by any reasonable
|
|
person cognizant of the relations between us: relations which,
|
|
though thrown into the past by your recent procedure, are not
|
|
thereby annulled in their character of determining antecedents.
|
|
I will not here make reflections on any person's judgment.
|
|
It is enough for me to point out to yourself that there are certain
|
|
social fitnesses and proprieties which should hinder a somewhat
|
|
near relative of mine from becoming any wise conspicuous in this
|
|
vicinity in a status not only much beneath my own, but associated
|
|
at best with the sciolism of literary or political adventurers.
|
|
At any rate, the contrary issue must exclude you from further
|
|
reception at my house.
|
|
Yours faithfully,
|
|
"EDWARD CASAUBON."
|
|
|
|
|
|
Meanwhile Dorothea's mind was innocently at work towards the further
|
|
embitterment of her husband; dwelling, with a sympathy that grew to
|
|
agitation, on what Will had told her about his parents and grandparents.
|
|
Any private hours in her day were usually spent in her blue-green
|
|
boudoir, and she had come to be very fond of its pallid quaintness.
|
|
Nothing had been outwardly altered there; but while the summer had
|
|
gradually advanced over the western fields beyond the avenue of elms,
|
|
the bare room had gathered within it those memories of an inward life
|
|
which fill the air as with a cloud of good or had angels, the invisible
|
|
yet active forms of our spiritual triumphs or our spiritual falls.
|
|
She had been so used to struggle for and to find resolve in looking
|
|
along the avenue towards the arch of western light that the vision
|
|
itself had gained a communicating power. Even the pale stag seemed
|
|
to have reminding glances and to mean mutely, "Yes, we know."
|
|
And the group of delicately touched miniatures had made an audience
|
|
as of beings no longer disturbed about their own earthly lot,
|
|
but still humanly interested. Especially the mysterious "Aunt Julia"
|
|
about whom Dorothea had never found it easy to question her husband.
|
|
|
|
And now, since her conversation with Will, many fresh images
|
|
had gathered round that Aunt Julia who was Will's grandmother;
|
|
the presence of that delicate miniature, so like a living face
|
|
that she knew, helping to concentrate her feelings. What a wrong,
|
|
to cut off the girl from the family protection and inheritance only
|
|
because she had chosen a man who was poor! Dorothea, early troubling
|
|
her elders with questions about the facts around her, had wrought
|
|
herself into some independent clearness as to the historical,
|
|
political reasons why eldest sons had superior rights, and why land
|
|
should be entailed: those reasons, impressing her with a certain awe,
|
|
might be weightier than she knew, but here was a question of ties
|
|
which left them uninfringed. Here was a daughter whose child--
|
|
even according to the ordinary aping of aristocratic institutions
|
|
by people who are no more aristocratic than retired grocers,
|
|
and who have no more land to "keep together" than a lawn and a paddock--
|
|
would have a prior claim. Was inheritance a question of liking
|
|
or of responsibility? All the energy of Dorothea's nature went on
|
|
the side of responsibility--the fulfilment of claims founded on our
|
|
own deeds, such as marriage and parentage.
|
|
|
|
It was true, she said to herself, that Mr. Casaubon had a debt
|
|
to the Ladislaws--that he had to pay back what the Ladislaws had
|
|
been wronged of. And now she began to think of her husband's will,
|
|
which had been made at the time of their marriage, leaving the bulk
|
|
of his property to her, with proviso in case of her having children.
|
|
That ought to be altered; and no time ought to be lost. This very
|
|
question which had just arisen about Will Ladislaw's occupation,
|
|
was the occasion for placing things on a new, right footing.
|
|
Her husband, she felt sure, according to all his previous conduct,
|
|
would be ready to take the just view, if she proposed it--she, in whose
|
|
interest an unfair concentration of the property had been urged.
|
|
His sense of right had surmounted and would continue to surmount
|
|
anything that might be called antipathy. She suspected that her
|
|
uncle's scheme was disapproved by Mr. Casaubon, and this made it seem
|
|
all the more opportune that a fresh understanding should be begun,
|
|
so that instead of Will's starting penniless and accepting the first
|
|
function that offered itself, he should find himself in possession
|
|
of a rightful income which should be paid by her husband during
|
|
his life, and, by an immediate alteration of the will, should
|
|
be secured at his death. The vision of all this as what ought
|
|
to be done seemed to Dorothea like a sudden letting in of daylight,
|
|
waking her from her previous stupidity and incurious self-absorbed
|
|
ignorance about her husband's relation to others. Will Ladislaw
|
|
had refused Mr. Casaubon's future aid on a ground that no longer
|
|
appeared right to her; and Mr. Casaubon had never himself seen
|
|
fully what was the claim upon him. "But he will!" said Dorothea.
|
|
"The great strength of his character lies here. And what are we
|
|
doing with our money? We make no use of half of our income. My own
|
|
money buys me nothing but an uneasy conscience."
|
|
|
|
There was a peculiar fascination for Dorothea in this division of
|
|
property intended for herself, and always regarded by her as excessive.
|
|
She was blind, you see, to many things obvious to others--
|
|
likely to tread in the wrong places, as Celia had warned her;
|
|
yet her blindness to whatever did not lie in her own pure purpose
|
|
carried her safely by the side of precipices where vision would
|
|
have been perilous with fear.
|
|
|
|
The thoughts which had gathered vividness in the solitude of her
|
|
boudoir occupied her incessantly through the day on which Mr. Casaubon
|
|
had sent his letter to Will. Everything seemed hindrance to her till
|
|
she could find an opportunity of opening her heart to her husband.
|
|
To his preoccupied mind all subjects were to be approached gently,
|
|
and she had never since his illness lost from her consciousness
|
|
the dread of agitating him. Bat when young ardor is set brooding
|
|
over the conception of a prompt deed, the deed itself seems
|
|
to start forth with independent life, mastering ideal obstacles.
|
|
The day passed in a sombre fashion, not unusual, though Mr. Casaubon
|
|
was perhaps unusually silent; but there were hours of the night which
|
|
might be counted on as opportunities of conversation; for Dorothea,
|
|
when aware of her husband's sleeplessness, had established a habit
|
|
of rising, lighting a candle, and reading him to sleep again. And this
|
|
night she was from the beginning sleepless, excited by resolves.
|
|
He slept as usual for a few hours, but she had risen softly and had
|
|
sat in the darkness for nearly an hour before he said--
|
|
|
|
"Dorothea, since you are up, will you light a candle?"
|
|
|
|
"Do you feel ill, dear?" was her first question, as she obeyed him.
|
|
|
|
"No, not at all; but I shall be obliged, since you are up, if you
|
|
will read me a few pages of Lowth."
|
|
|
|
"May I talk to you a little instead?" said Dorothea.
|
|
|
|
"Certainly."
|
|
|
|
"I have been thinking about money all day--that I have always
|
|
had too much, and especially the prospect of too much."
|
|
|
|
"These, my dear Dorothea, are providential arrangements."
|
|
|
|
"But if one has too much in consequence of others being wronged,
|
|
it seems to me that the divine voice which tells us to set that wrong
|
|
right must be obeyed."
|
|
|
|
"What, my love, is the bearing of your remark?"
|
|
|
|
"That you have been too liberal in arrangements for me--I mean,
|
|
with regard to property; and that makes me unhappy."
|
|
|
|
"How so? I have none but comparatively distant connections."
|
|
|
|
"I have been led to think about your aunt Julia, and how she was left
|
|
in poverty only because she married a poor man, an act which was
|
|
not disgraceful, since he was not unworthy. It was on that ground,
|
|
I know, that you educated Mr. Ladislaw and provided for his mother."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea waited a few moments for some answer that would help her onward.
|
|
None came, and her next words seemed the more forcible to her,
|
|
falling clear upon the dark silence.
|
|
|
|
"But surely we should regard his claim as a much greater one, even to
|
|
the half of that property which I know that you have destined for me.
|
|
And I think he ought at once to be provided for on that understanding.
|
|
It is not right that he should be in the dependence of poverty
|
|
while we are rich. And if there is any objection to the proposal
|
|
he mentioned, the giving him his true place and his true share
|
|
would set aside any motive for his accepting it."
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Ladislaw has probably been speaking to you on this subject?"
|
|
said Mr. Casaubon, with a certain biting quickness not habitual
|
|
to him.
|
|
|
|
"Indeed, no!" said Dorothea, earnestly. "How can you imagine it,
|
|
since he has so lately declined everything from you? I fear you
|
|
think too hardly of him, dear. He only told me a little about his
|
|
parents and grandparents, and almost all in answer to my questions.
|
|
You are so good, so just--you have done everything you thought
|
|
to be right. But it seems to me clear that more than that is right;
|
|
and I must speak about it, since I am the person who would get what is
|
|
called benefit by that `more' not being done."
|
|
|
|
There was a perceptible pause before Mr. Casaubon replied,
|
|
not quickly as before, but with a still more biting emphasis.
|
|
|
|
"Dorothea, my love, this is not the first occasion, but it were well
|
|
that it should be the last, on which you have assumed a judgment
|
|
on subjects beyond your scope. Into the question how far conduct,
|
|
especially in the matter of alliances, constitutes a forfeiture
|
|
of family claims, I do not now enter. Suffice it, that you
|
|
are not here qualified to discriminate. What I now wish you to
|
|
understand is, that I accept no revision, still less dictation within
|
|
that range of affairs which I have deliberated upon as distinctly
|
|
and properly mine. It is not for you to interfere between me
|
|
and Mr. Ladislaw, and still less to encourage communications
|
|
from him to you which constitute a criticism on my procedure."
|
|
|
|
Poor Dorothea, shrouded in the darkness, was in a tumult of
|
|
conflicting emotions. Alarm at the possible effect on himself of her
|
|
husband's strongly manifested anger, would have checked any expression
|
|
of her own resentment, even if she had been quite free from doubt
|
|
and compunction under the consciousness that there might be some
|
|
justice in his last insinuation. Hearing him breathe quickly after
|
|
he had spoken, she sat listening, frightened, wretched--with a dumb
|
|
inward cry for help to bear this nightmare of a life in which every
|
|
energy was arrested by dread. But nothing else happened, except
|
|
that they both remained a long while sleepless, without speaking again.
|
|
|
|
The next day, Mr. Casaubon received the following answer from
|
|
Will Ladislaw:--
|
|
|
|
|
|
"DEAR MR. CASAUBON,--I have given all due consideration to your letter
|
|
of yesterday, but I am unable to take precisely your view of our
|
|
mutual position. With the fullest acknowledgment of your generous
|
|
conduct to me in the past, I must still maintain that an obligation
|
|
of this kind cannot fairly fetter me as you appear to expect that
|
|
it should. Granted that a benefactor's wishes may constitute a claim;
|
|
there must always be a reservation as to the quality of those wishes.
|
|
They may possibly clash with more imperative considerations.
|
|
Or a benefactor's veto might impose such a negation on a man's life
|
|
that the consequent blank might be more cruel than the benefaction
|
|
was generous. I am merely using strong illustrations. In the present
|
|
case I am unable to take your view of the bearing which my acceptance
|
|
of occupation--not enriching certainly, but not dishonorable--
|
|
will have on your own position which seems to me too substantial
|
|
to be affected in that shadowy manner. And though I do not believe
|
|
that any change in our relations will occur (certainly none has
|
|
yet occurred) which can nullify the obligations imposed on me
|
|
by the past, pardon me for not seeing that those obligations should
|
|
restrain me from using the ordinary freedom of living where I choose,
|
|
and maintaining myself by any lawful occupation I may choose.
|
|
Regretting that there exists this difference between us as to a relation
|
|
in which the conferring of benefits has been entirely on your side--
|
|
I remain, yours with persistent obligation,
|
|
WILL LADISLAW."
|
|
|
|
|
|
Poor Mr. Casaubon felt (and must not we, being impartial, feel with him
|
|
a little?) that no man had juster cause for disgust and suspicion
|
|
than he. Young Ladislaw, he was sure, meant to defy and annoy him,
|
|
meant to win Dorothea's confidence and sow her mind with disrespect,
|
|
and perhaps aversion, towards her husband. Some motive beneath
|
|
the surface had been needed to account for Will's sudden change
|
|
of in rejecting Mr. Casaubon's aid and quitting his travels;
|
|
and this defiant determination to fix himself in the neighborhood
|
|
by taking up something so much at variance with his former choice
|
|
as Mr. Brooke's Middlemarch projects, revealed clearly enough that
|
|
the undeclared motive had relation to Dorothea. Not for one moment
|
|
did Mr. Casaubon suspect Dorothea of any doubleness: he had no
|
|
suspicions of her, but he had (what was little less uncomfortable)
|
|
the positive knowledge that her tendency to form opinions about
|
|
her husband's conduct was accompanied with a disposition to regard
|
|
Will Ladislaw favorably and be influenced by what he said.
|
|
His own proud reticence had prevented him from ever being undeceived
|
|
in the supposition that Dorothea had originally asked her uncle
|
|
to invite Will to his house.
|
|
|
|
And now, on receiving Will's letter, Mr. Casaubon had to consider
|
|
his duty. He would never have been easy to call his action anything
|
|
else than duty; but in this case, contending motives thrust him
|
|
back into negations.
|
|
|
|
Should he apply directly to Mr. Brooke, and demand of that troublesome
|
|
gentleman to revoke his proposal? Or should he consult Sir James Chettam,
|
|
and get him to concur in remonstrance against a step which touched
|
|
the whole family? In either case Mr. Casaubon was aware that failure
|
|
was just as probable as success. It was impossible for him to mention
|
|
Dorothea's name in the matter, and without some alarming urgency
|
|
Mr. Brooke was as likely as not, after meeting all representations
|
|
with apparent assent, to wind up by saying, "Never fear, Casaubon!
|
|
Depend upon it, young Ladislaw will do you credit. Depend upon it,
|
|
I have put my finger on the right thing." And Mr. Casaubon shrank
|
|
nervously from communicating on the subject with Sir James Chettam,
|
|
between whom and himself there had never been any cordiality,
|
|
and who would immediately think of Dorothea without any mention of her.
|
|
|
|
Poor Mr. Casaubon was distrustful of everybody's feeling towards him,
|
|
especially as a husband. To let any one suppose that he was jealous
|
|
would be to admit their (suspected) view of his disadvantages:
|
|
to let them know that he did not find marriage particularly blissful
|
|
would imply his conversion to their (probably) earlier disapproval.
|
|
It would be as bad as letting Carp, and Brasenose generally,
|
|
know how backward he was in organizing the matter for his
|
|
"Key to all Mythologies." All through his life Mr. Casaubon had been
|
|
trying not to admit even to himself the inward sores of self-doubt
|
|
and jealousy. And on the most delicate of all personal subjects,
|
|
the habit of proud suspicious reticence told doubly.
|
|
|
|
Thus Mr. Casaubon remained proudly, bitterly silent. But he
|
|
had forbidden Will to come to Lowick Manor, and he was mentally
|
|
preparing other measures of frustration.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XXXVIII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"C'est beaucoup que le jugement des hommes sur les actions humaines;
|
|
tot ou tard il devient efficace."--GUIZOT.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sir James Chettam could not look with any satisfaction on Mr. Brooke's
|
|
new courses; but it was easier to object than to hinder.
|
|
Sir James accounted for his having come in alone one day to lunch
|
|
with the Cadwalladers by saying--
|
|
|
|
"I can't talk to you as I want, before Celia: it might hurt her.
|
|
Indeed, it would not be right."
|
|
|
|
"I know what you mean--the `Pioneer' at the Grange!" darted in
|
|
Mrs. Cadwallader, almost before the last word was off her friend's
|
|
tongue. "It is frightful--this taking to buying whistles and blowing
|
|
them in everybody's hearing. Lying in bed all day and playing
|
|
at dominoes, like poor Lord Plessy, would be more private and bearable."
|
|
|
|
"I see they are beginning to attack our friend Brooke in the `Trumpet,'"
|
|
said the Rector, lounging back and smiling easily, as he would
|
|
have done if he had been attacked himself. "There are tremendous
|
|
sarcasms against a landlord not a hundred miles from Middlemarch,
|
|
who receives his own rents, and makes no returns."
|
|
|
|
"I do wish Brooke would leave that off," said Sir James, with his
|
|
little frown of annoyance.
|
|
|
|
"Is he really going to be put in nomination, though?"
|
|
said Mr. Cadwallader. "I saw Farebrother yesterday--
|
|
he's Whiggish himself, hoists Brougham and Useful Knowledge;
|
|
that's the worst I know of him;--and he says that Brooke is
|
|
getting up a pretty strong party. Bulstrode, the banker, is his
|
|
foremost man. But he thinks Brooke would come off badly at a nomination."
|
|
|
|
"Exactly," said Sir James, with earnestness. "I have been inquiring
|
|
into the thing, for I've never known anything about Middlemarch
|
|
politics before--the county being my business. What Brooke trusts to,
|
|
is that they are going to turn out Oliver because he is a Peelite.
|
|
But Hawley tells me that if they send up a Whig at all it is sure to
|
|
be Bagster, one of those candidates who come from heaven knows where,
|
|
but dead against Ministers, and an experienced Parliamentary man.
|
|
Hawley's rather rough: he forgot that he was speaking to me.
|
|
He said if Brooke wanted a pelting, he could get it cheaper than
|
|
by going to the hustings."
|
|
|
|
"I warned you all of it," said Mrs. Cadwallader, waving her
|
|
hands outward. "I said to Humphrey long ago, Mr. Brooke is going
|
|
to make a splash in the mud. And now he has done it."
|
|
|
|
"Well, he might have taken it into his head to marry," said the Rector.
|
|
"That would have been a graver mess than a little flirtation
|
|
with politics."
|
|
|
|
"He may do that afterwards," said Mrs. Cadwallader--"when he has
|
|
come out on the other side of the mud with an ague."
|
|
|
|
"What I care for most is his own dignity," said Sir James.
|
|
"Of course I care the more because of the family. But he's getting
|
|
on in life now, and I don't like to think of his exposing himself.
|
|
They will be raking up everything against him."
|
|
|
|
"I suppose it's no use trying any persuasion," said the Rector.
|
|
"There's such an odd mixture of obstinacy and changeableness in Brooke.
|
|
Have you tried him on the subject?"
|
|
|
|
"Well, no," said Sir James; "I feel a delicacy in appearing to dictate.
|
|
But I have been talking to this young Ladislaw that Brooke is
|
|
making a factotum of. Ladislaw seems clever enough for anything.
|
|
I thought it as well to hear what he had to say; and he is against
|
|
Brooke's standing this time. I think he'll turn him round:
|
|
I think the nomination may be staved off."
|
|
|
|
"I know," said Mrs. Cadwallader, nodding. "The independent member
|
|
hasn't got his speeches well enough by heart."
|
|
|
|
"But this Ladislaw--there again is a vexatious business,"
|
|
said Sir James. "We have had him two or three times to dine at
|
|
the Hall (you have met him, by the bye) as Brooke's guest and a
|
|
relation of Casaubon's, thinking he was only on a flying visit.
|
|
And now I find he's in everybody's mouth in Middlemarch as the editor
|
|
of the `Pioneer.' There are stories going about him as a quill-driving
|
|
alien, a foreign emissary, and what not."
|
|
|
|
"Casaubon won't like that," said the Rector.
|
|
|
|
"There IS some foreign blood in Ladislaw," returned Sir James.
|
|
"I hope he won't go into extreme opinions and carry Brooke on."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, he's a dangerous young sprig, that Mr. Ladislaw,"
|
|
said Mrs. Cadwallader, "with his opera songs and his ready tongue.
|
|
A sort of Byronic hero--an amorous conspirator, it strikes me.
|
|
And Thomas Aquinas is not fond of him. I could see that, the day
|
|
the picture was brought."
|
|
|
|
"I don't like to begin on the subject with Casaubon," said Sir James.
|
|
"He has more right to interfere than I. But it's a disagreeable
|
|
affair all round. What a character for anybody with decent
|
|
connections to show himself in!--one of those newspaper fellows!
|
|
You have only to look at Keck, who manages the `Trumpet.'
|
|
I saw him the other day with Hawley. His writing is sound enough,
|
|
I believe, but he's such a low fellow, that I wished he had been on
|
|
the wrong side."
|
|
|
|
"What can you expect with these peddling Middlemarch papers?"
|
|
said the Rector. "I don't suppose you could get a high style of man
|
|
anywhere to be writing up interests he doesn't really care about,
|
|
and for pay that hardly keeps him in at elbows."
|
|
|
|
"Exactly: that makes it so annoying that Brooke should have put
|
|
a man who has a sort of connection with the family in a position
|
|
of that kind. For my part, I think Ladislaw is rather a fool
|
|
for accepting."
|
|
|
|
"It is Aquinas's fault," said Mrs. Cadwallader. "Why didn't he use
|
|
his interest to get Ladislaw made an attache or sent to India?
|
|
That is how families get rid of troublesome sprigs."
|
|
|
|
"There is no knowing to what lengths the mischief may go,"
|
|
said Sir James, anxiously. "But if Casaubon says nothing, what can
|
|
I do?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh my dear Sir James," said the Rector, "don't let us make too
|
|
much of all this. It is likely enough to end in mere smoke.
|
|
After a month or two Brooke and this Master Ladislaw will get
|
|
tired of each other; Ladislaw will take wing; Brooke will sell
|
|
the `Pioneer,' and everything will settle down again as usual."
|
|
|
|
"There is one good chance--that he will not like to feel his money
|
|
oozing away," said Mrs. Cadwallader. "If I knew the items of election
|
|
expenses I could scare him. It's no use plying him with wide words
|
|
like Expenditure: I wouldn't talk of phlebotomy, I would empty
|
|
a pot of leeches upon him. What we good stingy people don't like,
|
|
is having our sixpences sucked away from us."
|
|
|
|
"And he will not like having things raked up against him,"
|
|
said Sir James. "There is the management of his estate. they have
|
|
begun upon that already. And it really is painful for me to see.
|
|
It is a nuisance under one's very nose. I do think one is bound
|
|
to do the best for one's land and tenants, especially in these
|
|
hard times."
|
|
|
|
"Perhaps the `Trumpet' may rouse him to make a change, and some good
|
|
may come of it all," said the Rector. "I know I should be glad.
|
|
I should hear less grumbling when my tithe is paid. I don't know
|
|
what I should do if there were not a modus in Tipton."
|
|
|
|
"I want him to have a proper man to look after things--I want him
|
|
to take on Garth again," said Sir James. "He got rid of Garth
|
|
twelve years ago, and everything has been going wrong since.
|
|
I think of getting Garth to manage for me--he has made such a capital
|
|
plan for my buildings; and Lovegood is hardly up to the mark.
|
|
But Garth would not undertake the Tipton estate again unless Brooke
|
|
left it entirely to him."
|
|
|
|
"In the right of it too," said the Rector. "Garth is an
|
|
independent fellow: an original, simple-minded fellow. One day,
|
|
when he was doing some valuation for me, he told me point-blank
|
|
that clergymen seldom understood anything about business, and did
|
|
mischief when they meddled; but he said it as quietly and respectfully
|
|
as if he had been talking to me about sailors. He would make
|
|
a different parish of Tipton, if Brooke would let him manage.
|
|
I wish, by the help of the `Trumpet,' you could bring that round."
|
|
|
|
"If Dorothea had kept near her uncle, there would have been
|
|
some chance," said Sir James. "She might have got some power
|
|
over him in time, and she was always uneasy about the estate.
|
|
She had wonderfully good notions about such things. But now
|
|
Casaubon takes her up entirely. Celia complains a good deal.
|
|
We can hardly get her to dine with us, since he had that fit."
|
|
Sir James ended with a look of pitying disgust, and Mrs. Cadwallader
|
|
shrugged her shoulders as much as to say that SHE was not likely
|
|
to see anything new in that direction.
|
|
|
|
"Poor Casaubon!" the Rector said. "That was a nasty attack.
|
|
I thought he looked shattered the other day at the Archdeacon's."
|
|
|
|
"In point of fact," resumed Sir James, not choosing to dwell on
|
|
"fits," "Brooke doesn't mean badly by his tenants or any one else,
|
|
but he has got that way of paring and clipping at expenses."
|
|
|
|
"Come, that's a blessing," said Mrs. Cadwallader. "That helps him
|
|
to find himself in a morning. He may not know his own opinions,
|
|
but he does know his own pocket."
|
|
|
|
"I don't believe a man is in pocket by stinginess on his land,"
|
|
said Sir James.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, stinginess may be abused like other virtues: it will not do
|
|
to keep one's own pigs lean," said Mrs. Cadwallader, who had risen
|
|
to look out of the window. "But talk of an independent politician
|
|
and he will appear."
|
|
|
|
"What! Brooke?" said her husband.
|
|
|
|
"Yes. Now, you ply him with the `Trumpet,' Humphrey; and I will
|
|
put the leeches on him. What will you do, Sir James?"
|
|
|
|
"The fact is, I don't like to begin about it with Brooke, in our
|
|
mutual position; the whole thing is so unpleasant. I do wish people
|
|
would behave like gentlemen," said the good baronet, feeling that
|
|
this was a simple and comprehensive programme for social well-being.
|
|
|
|
"Here you all are, eh?" said Mr. Brooke, shuffling round and
|
|
shaking hands. "I was going up to the Hall by-and-by, Chettam.
|
|
But it's pleasant to find everybody, you know. Well, what do
|
|
you think of things?--going on a little fast! It was true enough,
|
|
what Lafitte said--`Since yesterday, a century has passed away:'--
|
|
they're in the next century, you know, on the other side of the water.
|
|
Going on faster than we are."
|
|
|
|
"Why, yes," said the Rector, taking up the newspaper. "Here is
|
|
the `Trumpet' accusing you of lagging behind--did you see?"
|
|
|
|
"Eh? no," said Mr. Brooke, dropping his gloves into his hat
|
|
and hastily adjusting his eye-glass. But Mr. Cadwallader kept
|
|
the paper in his hand, saying, with a smile in his eyes--
|
|
|
|
"Look here! all this is about a landlord not a hundred
|
|
miles from Middlemarch, who receives his own rents.
|
|
They say he is the most retrogressive man in the county.
|
|
I think you must have taught them that word in the `Pioneer.'"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, that is Keek--an illiterate fellow, you know. Retrogressive, now!
|
|
Come, that's capital. He thinks it means destructive: they want
|
|
to make me out a destructive, you know," said Mr. Brooke, with
|
|
that cheerfulness which is usually sustained by an adversary's ignorance.
|
|
|
|
"I think he knows the meaning of the word. Here is a sharp stroke
|
|
or two. If we had to describe a man who is retrogressive in the
|
|
most evil sense of the word--we should say, he is one who would
|
|
dub himself a reformer of our constitution, while every interest
|
|
for which he is immediately responsible is going to decay:
|
|
a philanthropist who cannot bear one rogue to be hanged, but does
|
|
not mind five honest tenants being half-starved: a man who shrieks
|
|
at corruption, and keeps his farms at rack-rent: who roars himself
|
|
red at rotten boroughs, and does not mind if every field on his farms
|
|
has a rotten gate: a man very open-hearted to Leeds and Manchester,
|
|
no doubt; he would give any number of representatives who will pay
|
|
for their seats out of their own pockets: what he objects to giving,
|
|
is a little return on rent-days to help a tenant to buy stock,
|
|
or an outlay on repairs to keep the weather out at a tenant's barn-door
|
|
or make his house look a little less like an Irish cottier's. But
|
|
we all know the wag's definition of a philanthropist: a man whose
|
|
charity increases directly as the square of the distance. And so on.
|
|
All the rest is to show what sort of legislator a philanthropist
|
|
is likely to make," ended the Rector, throwing down the paper,
|
|
and clasping his hands at the back of his head, while he looked at
|
|
Mr. Brooke with an air of amused neutrality.
|
|
|
|
"Come, that's rather good, you know," said Mr. Brooke, taking up
|
|
the paper and trying to bear the attack as easily as his neighbor did,
|
|
but coloring and smiling rather nervously; "that about roaring himself
|
|
red at rotten boroughs--I never made a speech about rotten boroughs
|
|
in my life. And as to roaring myself red and that kind of thing--
|
|
these men never understand what is good satire. Satire, you know,
|
|
should be true up to a certain point. I recollect they said that in
|
|
`The Edinburgh' somewhere--it must be true up to a certain point."
|
|
|
|
"Well, that is really a hit about the gates," said Sir James,
|
|
anxious to tread carefully. "Dagley complained to me the other day
|
|
that he hadn't got a decent gate on his farm. Garth has invented
|
|
a new pattern of gate--I wish you would try it. One ought to use
|
|
some of one's timber in that way."
|
|
|
|
"You go in for fancy farming, you know, Chettam," said Mr. Brooke,
|
|
appearing to glance over the columns of the "Trumpet."
|
|
"That's your hobby, and you don't mind the expense."
|
|
|
|
"I thought the most expensive hobby in the world was standing
|
|
for Parliament," said Mrs. Cadwallader. "They said the last
|
|
unsuccessful candidate at Middlemarch--Giles, wasn't his name?--
|
|
spent ten thousand pounds and failed because he did not bribe enough.
|
|
What a bitter reflection for a man!"
|
|
|
|
"Somebody was saying," said the Rector, laughingly, "that East
|
|
Retford was nothing to Middlemarch, for bribery."
|
|
|
|
"Nothing of the kind," said Mr. Brooke. "The Tories bribe,
|
|
you know: Hawley and his set bribe with treating, hot codlings,
|
|
and that sort of thing; and they bring the voters drunk to the poll.
|
|
But they are not going to have it their own way in future--
|
|
not in future, you know. Middlemarch is a little backward, I admit--
|
|
the freemen are a little backward. But we shall educate them--
|
|
we shall bring them on, you know. The best people there are on
|
|
our side."
|
|
|
|
"Hawley says you have men on your side who will do you harm,"
|
|
remarked Sir James. "He says Bulstrode the banker will do you harm."
|
|
|
|
"And that if you got pelted," interposed Mrs. Cadwallader, "half the
|
|
rotten eggs would mean hatred of your committee-man. Good heavens!
|
|
Think what it must be to be pelted for wrong opinions. And I seem
|
|
to remember a story of a man they pretended to chair and let him
|
|
fall into a dust-heap on purpose!"
|
|
|
|
"Pelting is nothing to their finding holes in one's coat,"
|
|
said the Rector. "I confess that's what I should be afraid of,
|
|
if we parsons had to stand at the hustings for preferment.
|
|
I should be afraid of their reckoning up all my fishing days.
|
|
Upon my word, I think the truth is the hardest missile one can be
|
|
pelted with."
|
|
|
|
"The fact is," said Sir James, "if a man goes into public life he
|
|
must be prepared for the consequences. He must make himself proof
|
|
against calumny."
|
|
|
|
"My dear Chettam, that is all very fine, you know," said Mr. Brooke.
|
|
"But how will you make yourself proof against calumny? You should
|
|
read history--look at ostracism, persecution, martyrdom, and that
|
|
kind of thing. They always happen to the best men, you know.
|
|
But what is that in Horace?--'fiat justitia, ruat . . .
|
|
something or other."
|
|
|
|
"Exactly," said Sir James, with a little more heat than usual.
|
|
"What I mean by being proof against calumny is being able to point
|
|
to the fact as a contradiction."
|
|
|
|
"And it is not martyrdom to pay bills that one has run into one's self,"
|
|
said Mrs. Cadwallader.
|
|
|
|
But it was Sir James's evident annoyance that most stirred Mr. Brooke.
|
|
"Well, you know, Chettam," he said, rising, taking up his hat
|
|
and leaning on his stick, "you and I have a different system.
|
|
You are all for outlay with your farms. I don't want to make out that
|
|
my system is good under all circumstances--under all circumstances,
|
|
you know."
|
|
|
|
"There ought to be a new valuation made from time to time,"
|
|
said Sir James. "Returns are very well occasionally, but I
|
|
like a fair valuation. What do you say, Cadwallader?"
|
|
|
|
"I agree with you. If I were Brooke, I would choke the `Trumpet'
|
|
at once by getting Garth to make a new valuation of the farms,
|
|
and giving him carte blanche about gates and repairs:
|
|
that's my view of the political situation," said the Rector,
|
|
broadening himself by sticking his thumbs in his armholes,
|
|
and laughing towards Mr. Brooke.
|
|
|
|
"That's a showy sort of thing to do, you know," said Mr. Brooke.
|
|
"But I should like you to tell me of another landlord who has
|
|
distressed his tenants for arrears as little as I have. I let
|
|
the old tenants stay on. I'm uncommonly easy, let me tell you,
|
|
uncommonly easy. I have my own ideas, and I take my stand on them,
|
|
you know. A man who does that is always charged with eccentricity,
|
|
inconsistency, and that kind of thing. When I change my line of action,
|
|
I shall follow my own ideas."
|
|
|
|
After that, Mr. Brooke remembered that there was a packet which he
|
|
had omitted to send off from the Grange, and he bade everybody
|
|
hurriedly good-by.
|
|
|
|
"I didn't want to take a liberty with Brooke," said Sir James;
|
|
"I see he is nettled. But as to what he says about old tenants,
|
|
in point of fact no new tenant would take the farms on the
|
|
present terms."
|
|
|
|
"I have a notion that he will be brought round in time,"
|
|
said the Rector. "But you were pulling one way, Elinor, and we
|
|
were pulling another. You wanted to frighten him away from expense,
|
|
and we want to frighten him into it. Better let him try to be
|
|
popular and see that his character as a landlord stands in his way.
|
|
I don't think it signifies two straws about the `Pioneer,'
|
|
or Ladislaw, or Brooke's speechifying to the Middlemarchers.
|
|
But it does signify about the parishioners in Tipton being comfortable."
|
|
|
|
"Excuse me, it is you two who are on the wrong tack,"
|
|
said Mrs. Cadwallader. "You should have proved to him that he loses
|
|
money by bad management, and then we should all have pulled together.
|
|
If you put him a-horseback on politics, I warn you of the consequences.
|
|
It was all very well to ride on sticks at home and call them ideas."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XXXIX.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"If, as I have, you also doe,
|
|
Vertue attired in woman see,
|
|
And dare love that, and say so too,
|
|
And forget the He and She;
|
|
|
|
And if this love, though placed so,
|
|
From prophane men you hide,
|
|
Which will no faith on this bestow,
|
|
Or, if they doe, deride:
|
|
|
|
Then you have done a braver thing
|
|
Than all the Worthies did,
|
|
And a braver thence will spring,
|
|
Which is, to keep that hid."
|
|
--DR. DONNE.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sir James Chettam's mind was not fruitful ill devices, but his growing
|
|
anxiety to "act on Brooke," once brought close to his constant
|
|
belief in Dorothea's capacity for influence, became formative,
|
|
and issued in a little plan; namely, to plead Celia's indisposition
|
|
as a reason for fetching Dorothea by herself to the Hall, and to
|
|
leave her at the Grange with the carriage on the way, after making
|
|
her fully aware of the situation concerning the management of the estate.
|
|
|
|
In this way it happened that one day near four o'clock, when
|
|
Mr. Brooke and Ladislaw were seated in the library, the door
|
|
opened and Mrs. Casaubon was announced.
|
|
|
|
Will, the moment before, had been low in the depths of boredom, and,
|
|
obliged to help Mr. Brooke in arranging "documents" about hanging
|
|
sheep-stealers, was exemplifying the power our minds have of riding
|
|
several horses at once by inwardly arranging measures towards getting
|
|
a lodging for himself in Middlemarch and cutting short his constant
|
|
residence at the Grange; while there flitted through all these steadier
|
|
images a tickling vision of a sheep-stealing epic written with
|
|
Homeric particularity. When Mrs. Casaubon was announced he started
|
|
up as from an electric shock, and felt a tingling at his finger-ends.
|
|
Any one observing him would have seen a change in his complexion,
|
|
in the adjustment of his facial muscles, in the vividness of his glance,
|
|
which might have made them imagine that every molecule in his
|
|
body had passed the message of a magic touch. And so it had.
|
|
For effective magic is transcendent nature; and who shall measure
|
|
the subtlety of those touches which convey the quality of soul
|
|
as well as body, and make a man's passion for one woman differ from
|
|
his passion for another as joy in the morning light over valley and
|
|
river and white mountain-top differs from joy among Chinese lanterns
|
|
and glass panels? Will, too, was made of very impressible stuff.
|
|
The bow of a violin drawn near him cleverly, would at one stroke
|
|
change the aspect of the world for him, and his point of view shifted--
|
|
as easily as his mood. Dorothea's entrance was the freshness of morning.
|
|
|
|
"Well, my dear, this is pleasant, now," said Mr. Brooke, meeting and
|
|
kissing her. "You have left Casaubon with his books, I suppose.
|
|
That's right. We must not have you getting too learned for a woman,
|
|
you know."
|
|
|
|
"There is no fear of that, uncle," said Dorothea, turning to Will
|
|
and shaking hands with open cheerfulness, while she made no other form
|
|
of greeting, but went on answering her uncle. "I am very slow.
|
|
When I want to be busy with books, I am often playing truant among
|
|
my thoughts. I find it is not so easy to be learned as to plan cottages."
|
|
|
|
She seated herself beside her uncle opposite to Will, and was evidently
|
|
preoccupied with something that made her almost unmindful of him.
|
|
He was ridiculously disappointed, as if he had imagined that her
|
|
coming had anything to do with him.
|
|
|
|
"Why, yes, my dear, it was quite your hobby to draw plans.
|
|
But it was good to break that off a little. Hobbies are apt
|
|
to ran away with us, you know; it doesn't do to be run away with.
|
|
We must keep the reins. I have never let myself be run away with;
|
|
I always pulled up. That is what I tell Ladislaw. He and I
|
|
are alike, you know: he likes to go into everything. We are
|
|
working at capital punishment. We shall do a great deal together,
|
|
Ladislaw and I."
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Dorothea, with characteristic directness, "Sir James has
|
|
been telling me that he is in hope of seeing a great change made soon
|
|
in your management of the estate--that you are thinking of having
|
|
the farms valued, and repairs made, and the cottages improved,
|
|
so that Tipton may look quite another place. Oh, how happy!"--
|
|
she went on, clasping her hands, with a return to that more childlike
|
|
impetuous manner, which had been subdued since her marriage.
|
|
"If I were at home still, I should take to riding again, that I might
|
|
go about with you and see all that! And you are going to engage
|
|
Mr. Garth, who praised my cottages, Sir James says."
|
|
|
|
"Chettam is a little hasty, my dear," said Mr. Brooke, coloring slightly;
|
|
"a little hasty, you know. I never said I should do anything
|
|
of the kind. I never said I should NOT do it, you know."
|
|
|
|
"He only feels confident that you will do it," said Dorothea,
|
|
in a voice as clear and unhesitating as that of a young chorister
|
|
chanting a credo, "because you mean to enter Parliament as a member
|
|
who cares for the improvement of the people, and one of the first
|
|
things to be made better is the state of the land and the laborers.
|
|
Think of Kit Downes, uncle, who lives with his wife and seven children
|
|
in a house with one sitting room and one bedroom hardly larger than
|
|
this table!--and those poor Dagleys, in their tumble-down farmhouse,
|
|
where they live in the back kitchen and leave the other rooms to
|
|
the rats! That is one reason why I did not like the pictures here,
|
|
dear uncle--which you think me stupid about. I used to come from the
|
|
village with all that dirt and coarse ugliness like a pain within me,
|
|
and the simpering pictures in the drawing-room seemed to me like a
|
|
wicked attempt to find delight in what is false, while we don't
|
|
mind how hard the truth is for the neighbors outside our walls.
|
|
I think we have no right to come forward and urge wider changes
|
|
for good, until we have tried to alter the evils which lie under
|
|
our own hands."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea had gathered emotion as she went on, and had forgotten
|
|
everything except the relief of pouring forth her feelings, unchecked:
|
|
an experience once habitual with her, but hardly ever present since
|
|
her marriage, which had been a perpetual struggle of energy with fear.
|
|
For the moment, Will's admiration was accompanied with a chilling
|
|
sense of remoteness. A man is seldom ashamed of feeling that he
|
|
cannot love a woman so well when he sees a certain greatness in her:
|
|
nature having intended greatness for men. But nature has sometimes
|
|
made sad oversights in carrying out her intention; as in the case
|
|
of good Mr. Brooke, whose masculine consciousness was at this moment
|
|
in rather a stammering condition under the eloquence of his niece.
|
|
He could not immediately find any other mode of expressing himself
|
|
than that of rising, fixing his eye-glass, and fingering the papers
|
|
before him. At last he said--
|
|
|
|
"There is something in what you say, my dear, something in
|
|
what you say--but not everything--eh, Ladislaw? You and I
|
|
don't like our pictures and statues being found fault with.
|
|
Young ladies are a little ardent, you know--a little one-sided,
|
|
my dear. Fine art, poetry, that kind of thing, elevates a nation--
|
|
emollit mores--you understand a little Latin now. But--eh? what?"
|
|
|
|
These interrogatives were addressed to the footman who had
|
|
come in to say that the keeper had found one of Dagley's
|
|
boys with a leveret in his hand just killed.
|
|
|
|
"I'll come, I'll come. I shall let him off easily, you know,"
|
|
said Mr. Brooke aside to Dorothea, shuffling away very cheerfully.
|
|
|
|
"I hope you feel how right this change is that I--that Sir James
|
|
wishes for," said Dorothea to Will, as soon as her uncle was gone.
|
|
|
|
"I do, now I have heard you speak about it. I shall not forget what
|
|
you have said. But can you think of something else at this moment?
|
|
I may not have another opportunity of speaking to you about what
|
|
has occurred," said Will, rising with a movement of impatience,
|
|
and holding the back of his chair with both hands.
|
|
|
|
"Pray tell me what it is," said Dorothea, anxiously, also rising
|
|
and going to the open window, where Monk was looking in,
|
|
panting and wagging his tail. She leaned her back against the
|
|
window-frame, and laid her hand on the dog's head; for though,
|
|
as we know, she was not fond of pets that must be held in the hands
|
|
or trodden on, she was always attentive to the feelings of dogs,
|
|
and very polite if she had to decline their advances.
|
|
|
|
Will followed her only with his eyes and said, "I presume you know
|
|
that Mr. Casaubon has forbidden me to go to his house."
|
|
|
|
"No, I did not," said Dorothea, after a moment's pause. She was
|
|
evidently much moved. "I am very, very sorry," she added, mournfully.
|
|
She was thinking of what Will had no knowledge of--the conversation
|
|
between her and her husband in the darkness; and she was anew smitten
|
|
with hopelessness that she could influence Mr. Casaubon's action.
|
|
But the marked expression of her sorrow convinced Will that it
|
|
was not all given to him personally, and that Dorothea had not been
|
|
visited by the idea that Mr. Casaubon's dislike and jealousy of him
|
|
turned upon herself. He felt an odd mixture of delight and vexation:
|
|
of delight that he could dwell and be cherished in her thought as in
|
|
a pure home, without suspicion and without stint--of vexation because
|
|
he was of too little account with her, was not formidable enough,
|
|
was treated with an unhesitating benevolence which did not flatter him.
|
|
But his dread of any change in Dorothea was stronger than his discontent,
|
|
and he began to speak again in a tone of mere explanation.
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Casaubon's reason is, his displeasure at my taking a position
|
|
here which he considers unsuited to my rank as his cousin.
|
|
I have told him that I cannot give way on this point. It is a little
|
|
too hard on me to expect that my course in life is to be hampered
|
|
by prejudices which I think ridiculous. Obligation may be stretched
|
|
till it is no better than a brand of slavery stamped on us when we
|
|
were too young to know its meaning. I would not have accepted
|
|
the position if I had not meant to make it useful and honorable.
|
|
I am not bound to regard family dignity in any other light."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea felt wretched. She thought her husband altogether
|
|
in the wrong, on more grounds than Will had mentioned.
|
|
|
|
"It is better for us not to speak on the subject," she said,
|
|
with a tremulousness not common in her voice, "since you and
|
|
Mr. Casaubon disagree. You intend to remain?" She was looking
|
|
out on the lawn, with melancholy meditation.
|
|
|
|
"Yes; but I shall hardly ever see you now," said Will, in a tone
|
|
of almost boyish complaint.
|
|
|
|
"No," said Dorothea, turning her eyes full upon him, "hardly ever.
|
|
But I shall hear of you. I shall know what you are doing for
|
|
my uncle."
|
|
|
|
"I shall know hardly anything about you," said Will. "No one
|
|
will tell me anything."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, my life is very simple," said Dorothea, her lips curling
|
|
with an exquisite smile, which irradiated her melancholy.
|
|
"I am always at Lowick."
|
|
|
|
"That is a dreadful imprisonment," said Will, impetuously.
|
|
|
|
"No, don't think that," said Dorothea. "I have no longings."
|
|
|
|
He did not speak, but she replied to some change in his expression.
|
|
"I mean, for myself. Except that I should like not to have so much
|
|
more than my share without doing anything for others. But I have
|
|
a belief of my own, and it comforts me."
|
|
|
|
"What is that?" said Will, rather jealous of the belief.
|
|
|
|
"That by desiring what is perfectly good, even when we don't
|
|
quite know what it is and cannot do what we would, we are part
|
|
of the divine power against evil--widening the skirts of light
|
|
and making the struggle with darkness narrower."
|
|
|
|
"That is a beautiful mysticism--it is a--"
|
|
|
|
"Please not to call it by any name," said Dorothea, putting out
|
|
her hands entreatingly. "You will say it is Persian, or something
|
|
else geographical. It is my life. I have found it out, and cannot
|
|
part with it. I have always been finding out my religion since I
|
|
was a little girl. I used to pray so much--now I hardly ever pray.
|
|
I try not to have desires merely for myself, because they may not
|
|
be good for others, and I have too much already. I only told you,
|
|
that you might know quite well how my days go at Lowick."
|
|
|
|
"God bless you for telling me!" said Will, ardently, and rather
|
|
wondering at himself. They were looking at each other like two
|
|
fond children who were talking confidentially of birds.
|
|
|
|
"What is YOUR religion?" said Dorothea. "I mean--not what you
|
|
know about religion, but the belief that helps you most?"
|
|
|
|
"To love what is good and beautiful when I see it," said Will.
|
|
"But I am a rebel: I don't feel bound, as you do, to submit to what I
|
|
don't like."
|
|
|
|
"But if you like what is good, that comes to the same thing,"
|
|
said Dorothea, smiling.
|
|
|
|
"Now you are subtle," said Will.
|
|
|
|
"Yes; Mr. Casaubon often says I am too subtle. I don't feel as if I
|
|
were subtle," said Dorothea, playfully. "But how long my uncle is!
|
|
I must go and look for him. I must really go on to the Hall.
|
|
Celia is expecting me."
|
|
|
|
Will offered to tell Mr. Brooke, who presently came and said
|
|
that he would step into the carriage and go with Dorothea as far
|
|
as Dagley's, to speak about the small delinquent who had been caught
|
|
with the Ieveret. Dorothea renewed the subject of the estate
|
|
as they drove along, but Mr. Brooke, not being taken unawares,
|
|
got the talk under his own control.
|
|
|
|
"Chettam, now," he replied; "he finds fault with me, my dear;
|
|
but I should not preserve my game if it were not for Chettam,
|
|
and he can't say that that expense is for the sake of the tenants,
|
|
you know. It's a little against my feeling:--poaching, now, if you
|
|
come to look into it--I have often thought of getting up the subject.
|
|
Not long ago, Flavell, the Methodist preacher, was brought up for
|
|
knocking down a hare that came across his path when he and his wife
|
|
were walking out together. He was pretty quick, and knocked it on
|
|
the neck."
|
|
|
|
"That was very brutal, I think," said Dorothea
|
|
|
|
"Well, now, it seemed rather black to me, I confess, in a
|
|
Methodist preacher, you know. And Johnson said, `You may judge
|
|
what a hypoCRITE he is.' And upon my word, I thought
|
|
Flavell looked very little like `the highest style of man'--
|
|
as somebody calls the Christian--Young, the poet Young, I think--
|
|
you know Young? Well, now, Flavell in his shabby black gaiters,
|
|
pleading that he thought the Lord had sent him and his wife a good dinner,
|
|
and he had a right to knock it down, though not a mighty hunter
|
|
before the Lord, as Nimrod was--I assure you it was rather comic:
|
|
Fielding would have made something of it--or Scott, now--Scott might
|
|
have worked it up. But really, when I came to think of it,
|
|
I couldn't help liking that the fellow should have a bit of hare
|
|
to say grace over. It's all a matter of prejudice--prejudice with
|
|
the law on its side, you know--about the stick and the gaiters,
|
|
and so on. However, it doesn't do to reason about things; and law
|
|
is law. But I got Johnson to be quiet, and I hushed the matter up.
|
|
I doubt whether Chettam would not have been more severe, and yet
|
|
he comes down on me as if I were the hardest man in the county.
|
|
But here we are at Dagley's."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke got down at a farmyard-gate, and Dorothea drove on.
|
|
It is wonderful how much uglier things will look when we only suspect
|
|
that we are blamed for them. Even our own persons in the glass
|
|
are apt to change their aspect for us after we have heard some frank
|
|
remark on their less admirable points; and on the other hand it
|
|
is astonishing how pleasantly conscience takes our encroachments
|
|
on those who never complain or have nobody to complain for them.
|
|
Dagley's homestead never before looked so dismal to Mr. Brooke as it
|
|
did today, with his mind thus sore about the fault-finding of the
|
|
"Trumpet," echoed by Sir James.
|
|
|
|
It is true that an observer, under that softening influence of
|
|
the fine arts which makes other people's hardships picturesque,
|
|
might have been delighted with this homestead called Freeman's End:
|
|
the old house had dormer-windows in the dark red roof, two of
|
|
the chimneys were choked with ivy, the large porch was blocked
|
|
up with bundles of sticks, and half the windows were closed
|
|
with gray worm-eaten shutters about which the jasmine-boughs grew
|
|
in wild luxuriance; the mouldering garden wall with hollyhocks
|
|
peeping over it was a perfect study of highly mingled subdued color,
|
|
and there was an aged goat (kept doubtless on interesting
|
|
superstitious grounds) lying against the open back-kitchen door.
|
|
The mossy thatch of the cow-shed, the broken gray barn-doors,
|
|
the pauper laborers in ragged breeches who had nearly finished
|
|
unloading a wagon of corn into the barn ready for early thrashing;
|
|
the scanty dairy of cows being tethered for milking and leaving
|
|
one half of the shed in brown emptiness; the very pigs and white
|
|
ducks seeming to wander about the uneven neglected yard as if in
|
|
low spirits from feeding on a too meagre quality of rinsings,--
|
|
all these objects under the quiet light of a sky marbled with high
|
|
clouds would have made a sort of picture which we have all paused
|
|
over as a "charming bit," touching other sensibilities than those
|
|
which are stirred by the depression of the agricultural interest,
|
|
with the sad lack of farming capital, as seen constantly in the
|
|
newspapers of that time. But these troublesome associations were
|
|
just now strongly present to Mr. Brooke, and spoiled the scene
|
|
for him. Mr. Dagley himself made a figure in the landscape,
|
|
carrying a pitchfork and wearing his milking-hat--a very old beaver
|
|
flattened in front. His coat and breeches were the best he had,
|
|
and he would not have been wearing them on this weekday occasion
|
|
if he had not been to market and returned later than usual,
|
|
having given himself the rare treat of dining at the public table
|
|
of the Blue Bull. How he came to fall into this extravagance
|
|
would perhaps be matter of wonderment to himself on the morrow;
|
|
but before dinner something in the state of the country, a slight
|
|
pause in the harvest before the Far Dips were cut, the stories about
|
|
the new King and the numerous handbills on the walls, had seemed
|
|
to warrant a little recklessness. It was a maxim about Middlemarch,
|
|
and regarded as self-evident, that good meat should have good drink,
|
|
which last Dagley interpreted as plenty of table ale well followed
|
|
up by rum-and-water. These liquors have so far truth in them
|
|
that they were not false enough to make poor Dagley seem merry:
|
|
they only made his discontent less tongue-tied than usual.
|
|
He had also taken too much in the shape of muddy political talk,
|
|
a stimulant dangerously disturbing to his farming conservatism,
|
|
which consisted in holding that whatever is, is bad, and any change
|
|
is likely to be worse. He was flushed, and his eyes had a decidedly
|
|
quarrelsome stare as he stood still grasping his pitchfork,
|
|
while the landlord approached with his easy shuffling walk,
|
|
one hand in his trouser-pocket and the other swinging round a thin
|
|
walking-stick.
|
|
|
|
"Dagley, my good fellow," began Mr. Brooke, conscious that he
|
|
was going to be very friendly about the boy.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, ay, I'm a good feller, am I? Thank ye, sir, thank ye,"
|
|
said Dagley, with a loud snarling irony which made Fag the sheep-dog
|
|
stir from his seat and prick his ears; but seeing Monk enter
|
|
the yard after some outside loitering, Fag seated himself again
|
|
in an attitude of observation. "I'm glad to hear I'm a good feller."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke reflected that it was market-day, and that his worthy
|
|
tenant had probably been dining, but saw no reason why he should
|
|
not go on, since he could take the precaution of repeating what he
|
|
had to say to Mrs. Dagley.
|
|
|
|
"Your little lad Jacob has been caught killing a leveret, Dagley:
|
|
I have told Johnson to lock him up in the empty stable an hour
|
|
or two, just to frighten him, you know. But he will be brought
|
|
home by-and-by, before night: and you'll just look after him,
|
|
will you, and give him a reprimand, you know?"
|
|
|
|
"No, I woon't: I'll be dee'd if I'll leather my boy to please
|
|
you or anybody else, not if you was twenty landlords istid o'
|
|
one, and that a bad un."
|
|
|
|
Dagley's words were loud enough to summon his wife to the
|
|
back-kitchen door--the only entrance ever used, and one always
|
|
open except in bad weather--and Mr. Brooke, saying soothingly,
|
|
"Well, well, I'll speak to your wife--I didn't mean beating, you know,"
|
|
turned to walk to the house. But Dagley, only the more inclined
|
|
to "have his say" with a gentleman who walked away from him,
|
|
followed at once, with Fag slouching at his heels and sullenly
|
|
evading some small and probably charitable advances on the part of Monk.
|
|
|
|
"How do you do, Mrs. Dagley?" said Mr. Brooke, making some haste.
|
|
"I came to tell you about your boy: I don't want you to give
|
|
him the stick, you know." He was careful to speak quite plainly
|
|
this time.
|
|
|
|
Overworked Mrs. Dagley--a thin, worn woman, from whose life
|
|
pleasure had so entirely vanished that she had not even any Sunday
|
|
clothes which could give her satisfaction in preparing for church--
|
|
had already had a misunderstanding with her husband since he
|
|
had come home, and was in low spirits, expecting the worst.
|
|
But her husband was beforehand in answering.
|
|
|
|
"No, nor he woon't hev the stick, whether you want it or no,"
|
|
pursued Dagley, throwing out his voice, as if he wanted it to hit hard.
|
|
"You've got no call to come an' talk about sticks o' these primises,
|
|
as you woon't give a stick tow'rt mending. Go to Middlemarch to ax
|
|
for YOUR charrickter."
|
|
|
|
"You'd far better hold your tongue, Dagley," said the wife,
|
|
"and not kick your own trough over. When a man as is father
|
|
of a family has been an' spent money at market and made himself
|
|
the worse for liquor, he's done enough mischief for one day.
|
|
But I should like to know what my boy's done, sir."
|
|
|
|
"Niver do you mind what he's done," said Dagley, more fiercely,
|
|
"it's my business to speak, an' not yourn. An' I wull speak, too.
|
|
I'll hev my say--supper or no. An' what I say is, as I've lived upo'
|
|
your ground from my father and grandfather afore me, an' hev dropped
|
|
our money into't, an' me an' my children might lie an' rot on
|
|
the ground for top-dressin' as we can't find the money to buy,
|
|
if the King wasn't to put a stop."
|
|
|
|
"My good fellow, you're drunk, you know," said Mr. Brooke,
|
|
confidentially but not judiciously. "Another day, another day,"
|
|
he added, turning as if to go.
|
|
|
|
But Dagley immediately fronted him, and Fag at his heels growled low,
|
|
as his master's voice grew louder and more insulting, while Monk
|
|
also drew close in silent dignified watch. The laborers on the wagon
|
|
were pausing to listen, and it seemed wiser to be quite passive
|
|
than to attempt a ridiculous flight pursued by a bawling man.
|
|
|
|
"I'm no more drunk nor you are, nor so much," said Dagley.
|
|
"I can carry my liquor, an' I know what I meean. An' I meean
|
|
as the King 'ull put a stop to 't, for them say it as knows it,
|
|
as there's to be a Rinform, and them landlords as never done
|
|
the right thing by their tenants 'ull be treated i' that way as
|
|
they'll hev to scuttle off. An' there's them i' Middlemarch knows
|
|
what the Rinform is--an' as knows who'll hev to scuttle. Says they,
|
|
`I know who YOUR landlord is.' An' says I, `I hope you're
|
|
the better for knowin' him, I arn't.' Says they, `He's a close-fisted un.'
|
|
`Ay ay,' says I. `He's a man for the Rinform,' says they.
|
|
That's what they says. An' I made out what the Rinform were--
|
|
an' it were to send you an' your likes a-scuttlin'
|
|
an' wi' pretty strong-smellin' things too. An' you may do as you
|
|
like now, for I'm none afeard on you. An' you'd better let
|
|
my boy aloan, an' look to yoursen, afore the Rinform has got upo'
|
|
your back. That's what I'n got to say," concluded Mr. Dagley,
|
|
striking his fork into the ground with a firmness which proved
|
|
inconvenient as he tried to draw it up again.
|
|
|
|
At this last action Monk began to bark loudly, and it was a moment
|
|
for Mr. Brooke to escape. He walked out of the yard as quickly
|
|
as he could, in some amazement at the novelty of his situation.
|
|
He had never been insulted on his own land before, and had been inclined
|
|
to regard himself as a general favorite (we are all apt to do so,
|
|
when we think of our own amiability more than of what other people
|
|
are likely to want of us). When he had quarrelled with Caleb Garth
|
|
twelve years before he had thought that the tenants would be pleased
|
|
at the landlord's taking everything into his own hands.
|
|
|
|
Some who follow the narrative of his experience may wonder at the
|
|
midnight darkness of Mr. Dagley; but nothing was easier in those
|
|
times than for an hereditary farmer of his grade to be ignorant,
|
|
in spite somehow of having a rector in the twin parish who was a
|
|
gentleman to the backbone, a curate nearer at hand who preached more
|
|
learnedly than the rector, a landlord who had gone into everything,
|
|
especially fine art and social improvement, and all the lights
|
|
of Middlemarch only three miles off. As to the facility with
|
|
which mortals escape knowledge, try an average acquaintance in
|
|
the intellectual blaze of London, and consider what that eligible
|
|
person for a dinner-party would have been if he had learned scant
|
|
skill in "summing" from the parish-clerk of Tipton, and read
|
|
a chapter in the Bible with immense difficulty, because such names
|
|
as Isaiah or Apollos remained unmanageable after twice spelling.
|
|
Poor Dagley read a few verses sometimes on a Sunday evening,
|
|
and the world was at least not darker to him than it had been before.
|
|
Some things he knew thoroughly, namely, the slovenly habits of farming,
|
|
and the awkwardness of weather, stock and crops, at Freeman's End--
|
|
so called apparently by way of sarcasm, to imply that a man was free
|
|
to quit it if he chose, but that there was no earthly "beyond"
|
|
open to him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XL.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Wise in his daily work was he:
|
|
To fruits of diligence,
|
|
And not to faiths or polity,
|
|
He plied his utmost sense.
|
|
These perfect in their little parts,
|
|
Whose work is all their prize--
|
|
Without them how could laws, or arts,
|
|
Or towered cities rise?
|
|
|
|
|
|
In watching effects, if only of an electric battery, it is often
|
|
necessary to change our place and examine a particular mixture
|
|
or group at some distance from the point where the movement we
|
|
are interested in was set up. The group I am moving towards is
|
|
at Caleb Garth's breakfast-table in the large parlor where the
|
|
maps and desk were: father, mother, and five of the children.
|
|
Mary was just now at home waiting for a situation, while Christy,
|
|
the boy next to her, was getting cheap learning and cheap fare
|
|
in Scotland, having to his father's disappointment taken to books
|
|
instead of that sacred calling "business."
|
|
|
|
The letters had come--nine costly letters, for which the postman had
|
|
been paid three and twopence, and Mr. Garth was forgetting his tea
|
|
and toast while he read his letters and laid them open one above
|
|
the other, sometimes swaying his head slowly, sometimes screwing up
|
|
his mouth in inward debate, but not forgetting to cut off a large
|
|
red seal unbroken, which Letty snatched up like an eager terrier.
|
|
|
|
The talk among the rest went on unrestrainedly, for nothing disturbed
|
|
Caleb's absorption except shaking the table when he was writing.
|
|
|
|
Two letters of the nine had been for Mary. After reading them,
|
|
she had passed them to her mother, and sat playing with her
|
|
tea-spoon absently, till with a sudden recollection she returned
|
|
to her sewing, which she had kept on her lap during breakfast.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, don't sew, Mary!" said Ben, pulling her arm down. "Make me
|
|
a peacock with this bread-crumb." He had been kneading a small mass
|
|
for the purpose.
|
|
|
|
"No, no, Mischief!" said Mary, good-humoredly, while she pricked
|
|
his hand lightly with her needle. "Try and mould it yourself:
|
|
you have seen me do it often enough. I must get this sewing done.
|
|
It is for Rosamond Vincy: she is to be married next week, and she
|
|
can't be married without this handkerchief." Mary ended merrily,
|
|
amused with the last notion.
|
|
|
|
"Why can't she, Mary?" said Letty, seriously interested in this mystery,
|
|
and pushing her head so close to her sister that Mary now turned
|
|
the threatening needle towards Letty's nose.
|
|
|
|
"Because this is one of a dozen, and without it there would
|
|
only be eleven," said Mary, with a grave air of explanation,
|
|
so that Letty sank back with a sense of knowledge.
|
|
|
|
"Have you made up your mind, my dear?" said Mrs. Garth, laying the
|
|
letters down.
|
|
|
|
"I shall go to the school at York," said Mary. "I am less unfit
|
|
to teach in a school than in a family. I like to teach classes best.
|
|
And, you see, I must teach: there is nothing else to be done."
|
|
|
|
"Teaching seems to me the most delightful work in the world,"
|
|
said Mrs. Garth, with a touch of rebuke in her tone. "I could
|
|
understand your objection to it if you had not knowledge enough,
|
|
Mary, or if you disliked children."
|
|
|
|
"I suppose we never quite understand why another dislikes
|
|
what we like, mother," said Mary, rather curtly. "I am
|
|
not fond of a schoolroom: I like the outside world better.
|
|
It is a very inconvenient fault of mine."
|
|
|
|
"It must be very stupid to be always in a girls' school," said Alfred.
|
|
"Such a set of nincompoops, like Mrs. Ballard's pupils walking two
|
|
and two."
|
|
|
|
"And they have no games worth playing at," said Jim. "They can
|
|
neither throw nor leap. I don't wonder at Mary's not liking it."
|
|
|
|
"What is that Mary doesn't like, eh?" said the father, looking over
|
|
his spectacles and pausing before he opened his next letter.
|
|
|
|
"Being among a lot of nincompoop girls," said Alfred.
|
|
|
|
"Is it the situation you had heard of, Mary?" said Caleb, gently,
|
|
looking at his daughter.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, father: the school at York. I have determined to take it.
|
|
It is quite the best. Thirty-five pounds a-year, and extra pay for
|
|
teaching the smallest strummers at the piano."
|
|
|
|
"Poor child! I wish she could stay at home with us, Susan," said Caleb,
|
|
looking plaintively at his wife.
|
|
|
|
"Mary would not be happy without doing her duty," said Mrs. Garth,
|
|
magisterially, conscious of having done her own.
|
|
|
|
"It wouldn't make me happy to do such a nasty duty as that,"
|
|
said Alfred--at which Mary and her father laughed silently,
|
|
but Mrs. Garth said, gravely--
|
|
|
|
"Do find a fitter word than nasty, my dear Alfred, for everything
|
|
that you think disagreeable. And suppose that Mary could help you
|
|
to go to Mr. Hanmer's with the money she gets?"
|
|
|
|
"That seems to me a great shame. But she's an old brick," said Alfred,
|
|
rising from his chair, and pulling Mary's head backward to kiss her.
|
|
|
|
Mary colored and laughed, but could not conceal that the tears
|
|
were coming. Caleb, looking on over his spectacles, with the
|
|
angles of his eyebrows falling, had an expression of mingled
|
|
delight and sorrow as he returned to the opening of his letter;
|
|
and even Mrs. Garth, her lips curling with a calm contentment,
|
|
allowed that inappropriate language to pass without correction,
|
|
although Ben immediately took it up, and sang, "She's an old brick,
|
|
old brick, old brick!" to a cantering measure, which he beat out
|
|
with his fist on Mary's arm.
|
|
|
|
But Mrs. Garth's eyes were now drawn towards her husband,
|
|
who was already deep in the letter he was reading. His face
|
|
had an expression of grave surprise, which alarmed her a little,
|
|
but he did not like to be questioned while he was reading, and she
|
|
remained anxiously watching till she saw him suddenly shaken by a
|
|
little joyous laugh as he turned back to the beginning of the letter,
|
|
and looking at her above his spectacles, said, in a low tone,
|
|
"What do you think, Susan?"
|
|
|
|
She went and stood behind him, putting her hand on his shoulder,
|
|
while they read the letter together. It was from Sir James Chettam,
|
|
offering to Mr. Garth the management of the family estates at Freshitt
|
|
and elsewhere, and adding that Sir James had been requested by
|
|
Mr. Brooke of Tipton to ascertain whether Mr. Garth would be disposed
|
|
at the same time to resume the agency of the Tipton property.
|
|
The Baronet added in very obliging words that he himself was
|
|
particularly desirous of seeing the Freshitt and Tipton estates under
|
|
the same management, and he hoped to be able to show that the double
|
|
agency might be held on terms agreeable to Mr. Garth, whom he would
|
|
be glad to see at the Hall at twelve o'clock on the following day.
|
|
|
|
"He writes handsomely, doesn't he, Susan?" said Caleb, turning his
|
|
eyes upward to his wife, who raised her hand from his shoulder
|
|
to his ear, while she rested her chin on his head. "Brooke didn't
|
|
like to ask me himself, I can see," he continued, laughing silently.
|
|
|
|
"Here is an honor to your father, children," said Mrs. Garth,
|
|
looking round at the five pair of eyes, all fixed on the parents.
|
|
"He is asked to take a post again by those who dismissed him long ago.
|
|
That shows that he did his work well, so that they feel the want
|
|
of him."
|
|
|
|
"Like Cincinnatus--hooray!" said Ben, riding on his chair,
|
|
with a pleasant confidence that discipline was relaxed.
|
|
|
|
"Will they come to fetch him, mother?" said Letty, thinking of
|
|
the Mayor and Corporation in their robes.
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Garth patted Letty's head and smiled, but seeing that her
|
|
husband was gathering up his letters and likely soon to be out
|
|
of reach in that sanctuary "business," she pressed his shoulder
|
|
and said emphatically--
|
|
|
|
"Now, mind you ask fair pay, Caleb."
|
|
|
|
"Oh yes," said Caleb, in a deep voice of assent, as if it would be
|
|
unreasonable to suppose anything else of him. "It'll come to between
|
|
four and five hundred, the two together." Then with a little start
|
|
of remembrance he said, "Mary, write and give up that school.
|
|
Stay and help your mother. I'm as pleased as Punch, now I've
|
|
thought of that."
|
|
|
|
No manner could have been less like that of Punch triumphant
|
|
than Caleb's, but his talents did not lie in finding phrases,
|
|
though he was very particular about his letter-writing, and regarded
|
|
his wife as a treasury of correct language.
|
|
|
|
There was almost an uproar among the children now, and Mary held
|
|
up the cambric embroidery towards her mother entreatingly, that it
|
|
might be put out of reach while the boys dragged her into a dance.
|
|
Mrs. Garth, in placid joy, began to put the cups and plates together,
|
|
while Caleb pushing his chair from the table, as if he were going
|
|
to move to the desk, still sat holding his letters in his hand
|
|
and looking on the ground meditatively, stretching out the fingers
|
|
of his left hand, according to a mute language of his own. At last
|
|
he said--
|
|
|
|
"It's a thousand pities Christy didn't take to business, Susan.
|
|
I shall want help by-and-by. And Alfred must go off to the engineering--
|
|
I've made up my mind to that." He fell into meditation and
|
|
finger-rhetoric again for a little while, and then continued:
|
|
"I shall make Brooke have new agreements with the tenants, and I shall
|
|
draw up a rotation of crops. And I'll lay a wager we can get fine
|
|
bricks out of the clay at Bott's corner. I must look into that:
|
|
it would cheapen the repairs. It's a fine bit of work, Susan!
|
|
A man without a family would be glad to do it for nothing."
|
|
|
|
"Mind you don't, though," said his wife, lifting up her finger.
|
|
|
|
"No, no; but it's a fine thing to come to a man when he's seen
|
|
into the nature of business: to have the chance of getting a bit
|
|
of the country into good fettle, as they say, and putting men into
|
|
the right way with their farming, and getting a bit of good contriving
|
|
and solid building done--that those who are living and those who come
|
|
after will be the better for. I'd sooner have it than a fortune.
|
|
I hold it the most honorable work that is." Here Caleb laid down
|
|
his letters, thrust his fingers between the buttons of his waistcoat,
|
|
and sat upright, but presently proceeded with some awe in his voice
|
|
and moving his head slowly aside--"It's a great gift of God, Susan."
|
|
|
|
"That it is, Caleb," said his wife, with answering fervor.
|
|
"And it will be a blessing to your children to have had a father
|
|
who did such work: a father whose good work remains though his name
|
|
may be forgotten." She could not say any more to him then about
|
|
the pay.
|
|
|
|
In the evening, when Caleb, rather tired with his day's work,
|
|
was seated in silence with his pocket-book open on his knee,
|
|
while Mrs. Garth and Mary were at their sewing, and Letty in a corner
|
|
was whispering a dialogue with her doll, Mr. Farebrother came up
|
|
the orchard walk, dividing the bright August lights and shadows
|
|
with the tufted grass and the apple-tree boughs. We know that he
|
|
was fond of his parishioners the Garths, and had thought Mary worth
|
|
mentioning to Lydgate. He used to the full the clergyman's privilege
|
|
of disregarding the Middlemarch discrimination of ranks, and always
|
|
told his mother that Mrs. Garth was more of a lady than any matron
|
|
in the town. Still, you see, he spent his evenings at the Vincys',
|
|
where the matron, though less of a lady, presided over a well-lit
|
|
drawing-room and whist. In those days human intercourse was not
|
|
determined solely by respect. But the Vicar did heartily respect
|
|
the Garths, and a visit from him was no surprise to that family.
|
|
Nevertheless he accounted for it even while he was shaking hands,
|
|
by saying, "I come as an envoy, Mrs. Garth: I have something
|
|
to say to you and Garth on behalf of Fred Vincy. The fact is,
|
|
poor fellow," he continued, as he seated himself and looked round
|
|
with his bright glance at the three who were listening to him,
|
|
"he has taken me into his confidence."
|
|
|
|
Mary's heart beat rather quickly: she wondered how far Fred's
|
|
confidence had gone.
|
|
|
|
"We haven't seen the lad for months," said Caleb. "I couldn't
|
|
think what was become of him."
|
|
|
|
"He has been away on a visit," said the Vicar, "because home was
|
|
a little too hot for him, and Lydgate told his mother that the poor
|
|
fellow must not begin to study yet. But yesterday he came and poured
|
|
himself out to me. I am very glad he did, because I have seen him
|
|
grow up from a youngster of fourteen, and I am so much at home
|
|
in the house that the children are like nephews and nieces to me.
|
|
But it is a difficult case to advise upon. However, he has
|
|
asked me to come and tell you that he is going away, and that he
|
|
is so miserable about his debt to you, and his inability to pay,
|
|
that he can't bear to come himself even to bid you good by."
|
|
|
|
"Tell him it doesn't signify a farthing," said Caleb, waving his hand.
|
|
"We've had the pinch and have got over it. And now I'm going to be
|
|
as rich as a Jew."
|
|
|
|
"Which means," said Mrs. Garth, smiling at the Vicar, "that we
|
|
are going to have enough to bring up the boys well and to keep
|
|
Mary at home."
|
|
|
|
"What is the treasure-trove?" said Mr. Farebrother.
|
|
|
|
"I'm going to be agent for two estates, Freshitt and Tipton;
|
|
and perhaps for a pretty little bit of land in Lowick besides:
|
|
it's all the same family connection, and employment spreads like water
|
|
if it's once set going. It makes me very happy, Mr. Farebrother"--
|
|
here Caleb threw back his head a little, and spread his arms on the elbows
|
|
of his chair--"that I've got an opportunity again with the letting
|
|
of the land, and carrying out a notion or two with improvements.
|
|
It's a most uncommonly cramping thing, as I've often told Susan,
|
|
to sit on horseback and look over the hedges at the wrong thing,
|
|
and not be able to put your hand to it to make it right. What people
|
|
do who go into politics I can't think: it drives me almost mad
|
|
to see mismanagement over only a few hundred acres."
|
|
|
|
It was seldom that Caleb volunteered so long a speech, but his
|
|
happiness had the effect of mountain air: his eyes were bright,
|
|
and the words came without effort.
|
|
|
|
"I congratulate you heartily, Garth," said the Vicar. "This is
|
|
the best sort of news I could have had to carry to Fred Vincy,
|
|
for he dwelt a good deal on the injury he had done you in causing
|
|
you to part with money--robbing you of it, he said--which you wanted
|
|
for other purposes. I wish Fred were not such an idle dog; he has
|
|
some very good points, and his father is a little hard upon him."
|
|
|
|
"Where is he going?" said Mrs. Garth, rather coldly.
|
|
|
|
"He means to try again for his degree, and he is going up to study
|
|
before term. I have advised him to do that. I don't urge him to
|
|
enter the Church--on the contrary. But if he will go and work so as
|
|
to pass, that will be some guarantee that he has energy and a will;
|
|
and he is quite at sea; he doesn't know what else to do. So far he
|
|
will please his father, and I have promised in the mean time to try
|
|
and reconcile Vincy to his son's adopting some other line of life.
|
|
Fred says frankly he is not fit for a clergyman, and I would do
|
|
anything I could to hinder a man from the fatal step of choosing
|
|
the wrong profession. He quoted to me what you said, Miss Garth--
|
|
do you remember it?" (Mr. Farebrother used to say "Mary" instead
|
|
of "Miss Garth," but it was part of his delicacy to treat her
|
|
with the more deference because, according to Mrs. Vincy's phrase,
|
|
she worked for her bread.)
|
|
|
|
Mary felt uncomfortable, but, determined to take the matter lightly,
|
|
answered at once, "I have said so many impertinent things to Fred--
|
|
we are such old playfellows."
|
|
|
|
"You said, according to him, that he would be one of those
|
|
ridiculous clergymen who help to make the whole clergy ridiculous.
|
|
Really, that was so cutting that I felt a little cut myself."
|
|
|
|
Caleb laughed. "She gets her tongue from you, Susan," he said,
|
|
with some enjoyment.
|
|
|
|
"Not its flippancy, father," said Mary, quickly, fearing that her
|
|
mother would be displeased. "It is rather too bad of Fred to repeat
|
|
my flippant speeches to Mr. Farebrother."
|
|
|
|
"It was certainly a hasty speech, my dear," said Mrs. Garth,
|
|
with whom speaking evil of dignities was a high misdemeanor.
|
|
"We should not value our Vicar the less because there was a ridiculous
|
|
curate in the next parish."
|
|
|
|
"There's something in what she says, though," said Caleb, not disposed
|
|
to have Mary's sharpness undervalued. "A bad workman of any sort
|
|
makes his fellows mistrusted. Things hang together," he added,
|
|
looking on the floor and moving his feet uneasily with a sense
|
|
that words were scantier than thoughts.
|
|
|
|
"Clearly," said the Vicar, amused. "By being contemptible we set
|
|
men's minds, to the tune of contempt. I certainly agree with Miss
|
|
Garth's view of the matter, whether I am condemned by it or not.
|
|
But as to Fred Vincy, it is only fair he should be excused a little:
|
|
old Featherstone's delusive behavior did help to spoil him.
|
|
There was something quite diabolical in not leaving him a farthing
|
|
after all. But Fred has the good taste not to dwell on that.
|
|
And what he cares most about is having offended you, Mrs. Garth;
|
|
he supposes you will never think well of him again."
|
|
|
|
"I have been disappointed in Fred," said Mrs. Garth, with decision.
|
|
"But I shall be ready to think well of him again when he gives me
|
|
good reason to do so."
|
|
|
|
At this point Mary went out of the room, taking Letty with her.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, we must forgive young people when they're sorry," said Caleb,
|
|
watching Mary close the door. "And as you say, Mr. Farebrother,
|
|
there was the very devil in that old man."
|
|
|
|
Now Mary's gone out, I must tell you a thing--it's only known
|
|
to Susan and me, and you'll not tell it again. The old scoundrel
|
|
wanted Mary to burn one of the wills the very night he died,
|
|
when she was sitting up with him by herself, and he offered her
|
|
a sum of money that he had in the box by him if she would do it.
|
|
But Mary, you understand, could do no such thing--would not be handling
|
|
his iron chest, and so on. Now, you see, the will he wanted burnt
|
|
was this last, so that if Mary had done what he wanted, Fred Vincy
|
|
would have had ten thousand pounds. The old man did turn to him
|
|
at the last. That touches poor Mary close; she couldn't help it--
|
|
she was in the right to do what she did, but she feels, as she says,
|
|
much as if she had knocked down somebody's property and broken it
|
|
against her will, when she was rightfully defending herself. I feel
|
|
with her, somehow, and if I could make any amends to the poor lad,
|
|
instead of bearing him a grudge for the harm he did us, I should
|
|
be glad to do it. Now, what is your opinion, sir? Susan doesn't
|
|
agree with me. She says--tell what you say, Susan."
|
|
|
|
"Mary could not have acted otherwise, even if she had known what would
|
|
be the effect on Fred," said Mrs. Garth, pausing from her work,
|
|
and looking at Mr. Farebrother.
|
|
|
|
"And she was quite ignorant of it. It seems to me, a loss which falls
|
|
on another because we have done right is not to lie upon our conscience."
|
|
|
|
The Vicar did not answer immediately, and Caleb said, "It's the feeling.
|
|
The child feels in that way, and I feel with her. You don't mean
|
|
your horse to tread on a dog when you're backing out of the way;
|
|
but it goes through you, when it's done."
|
|
|
|
"I am sure Mrs. Garth would agree with you there," said Mr. Farebrother,
|
|
who for some reason seemed more inclined to ruminate than to speak.
|
|
"One could hardly say that the feeling you mention about Fred
|
|
is wrong--or rather, mistaken--though no man ought to make a claim
|
|
on such feeling."
|
|
|
|
"Well, well," said Caleb, "it's a secret. You will not tell Fred."
|
|
|
|
"Certainly not. But I shall carry the other good news--that you
|
|
can afford the loss he caused you."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Farebrother left the house soon after, and seeing Mary in the
|
|
orchard with Letty, went to say good-by to her. They made a pretty
|
|
picture in the western light which brought out the brightness of the
|
|
apples on the old scant-leaved boughs--Mary in her lavender gingham
|
|
and black ribbons holding a basket, while Letty in her well-worn
|
|
nankin picked up the fallen apples. If you want to know more
|
|
particularly how Mary looked, ten to one you will see a face like hers
|
|
in the crowded street to-morrow, if you are there on the watch:
|
|
she will not be among those daughters of Zion who are haughty,
|
|
and walk with stretched-out necks and wanton eyes, mincing as they go:
|
|
let all those pass, and fix your eyes on some small plump brownish
|
|
person of firm but quiet carriage, who looks about her, but does
|
|
not suppose that anybody is looking at her. If she has a broad
|
|
face and square brow, well-marked eyebrows and curly dark hair,
|
|
a certain expression of amusement in her glance which her mouth keeps
|
|
the secret of, and for the rest features entirely insignificant--
|
|
take that ordinary but not disagreeable person for a portrait
|
|
of Mary Garth. If you made her smile, she would show you perfect
|
|
little teeth; if you made her angry, she would not raise her voice,
|
|
but would probably say one of the bitterest things you have ever tasted
|
|
the flavor of; if you did her a kindness, she would never forget it.
|
|
Mary admired the keen-faced handsome little Vicar in his well-brushed
|
|
threadbare clothes more than any man she had had the opportunity
|
|
of knowing. She had never heard him say a foolish thing, though she
|
|
knew that he did unwise ones; and perhaps foolish sayings were more
|
|
objectionable to her than any of Mr. Farebrother's unwise doings.
|
|
At least, it was remarkable that the actual imperfections of the
|
|
Vicar's clerical character never seemed to call forth the same
|
|
scorn and dislike which she showed beforehand for the predicted
|
|
imperfections of the clerical character sustained by Fred Vincy.
|
|
These irregularities of judgment, I imagine, are found even in riper
|
|
minds than Mary Garth's: our impartiality is kept for abstract
|
|
merit and demerit, which none of us ever saw. Will any one guess
|
|
towards which of those widely different men Mary had the peculiar
|
|
woman's tenderness?--the one she was most inclined to be severe on,
|
|
or the contrary?
|
|
|
|
"Have you any message for your old playfellow, Miss Garth?"
|
|
said the Vicar, as he took a fragrant apple from the basket which she
|
|
held towards him, and put it in his pocket. "Something to soften
|
|
down that harsh judgment? I am going straight to see him."
|
|
|
|
"No," said Mary, shaking her head, and smiling. "If I were to say
|
|
that he would not be ridiculous as a clergyman, I must say that he
|
|
would be something worse than ridiculous. But I am very glad
|
|
to hear that he is going away to work."
|
|
|
|
"On the other hand, I am very glad to hear that YOU are not
|
|
going away to work. My mother, I am sure, will be all the happier
|
|
if you will come to see her at the vicarage: you know she is fond
|
|
of having young people to talk to, and she has a great deal to tell
|
|
about old times. You will really be doing a kindness."
|
|
|
|
"I should like it very much, if I may," said Mary. "Everything
|
|
seems too happy for me all at once. I thought it would always
|
|
be part of my life to long for home, and losing that grievance
|
|
makes me feel rather empty: I suppose it served instead of sense
|
|
to fill up my mind?"
|
|
|
|
"May I go with you, Mary?" whispered Letty--a most inconvenient child,
|
|
who listened to everything. But she was made exultant by having
|
|
her chin pinched and her cheek kissed by Mr. Farebrother--
|
|
an incident which she narrated to her mother and father.
|
|
|
|
As the Vicar walked to Lowick, any one watching him closely might
|
|
have seen him twice shrug his shoulders. I think that the rare
|
|
Englishmen who have this gesture are never of the heavy type--
|
|
for fear of any lumbering instance to the contrary, I will say,
|
|
hardly ever; they have usually a fine temperament and much tolerance
|
|
towards the smaller errors of men (themselves inclusive). The Vicar
|
|
was holding an inward dialogue in which he told himself that there
|
|
was probably something more between Fred and Mary Garth than the
|
|
regard of old playfellows, and replied with a question whether
|
|
that bit of womanhood were not a great deal too choice for that
|
|
crude young gentleman. The rejoinder to this was the first shrug.
|
|
Then he laughed at himself for being likely to have felt jealous,
|
|
as if he had been a man able to marry, which, added he, it is
|
|
as clear as any balance-sheet that I am not. Whereupon followed
|
|
the second shrug.
|
|
|
|
What could two men, so different from each other, see in this
|
|
"brown patch," as Mary called herself? It was certainly not her
|
|
plainness that attracted them (and let all plain young ladies be
|
|
warned against the dangerous encouragement given them by Society
|
|
to confide in their want of beauty). A human being in this aged
|
|
nation of ours is a very wonderful whole, the slow creation of long
|
|
interchanging influences: and charm is a result of two such wholes,
|
|
the one loving and the one loved.
|
|
|
|
When Mr. and Mrs. Garth were sitting alone, Caleb said, "Susan, guess
|
|
what I'm thinking of."
|
|
|
|
"The rotation of crops," said Mrs. Garth, smiling at him,
|
|
above her knitting, "or else the back-doors of the Tipton cottages."
|
|
|
|
"No," said Caleb, gravely; "I am thinking that I could do a great
|
|
turn for Fred Vincy. Christy's gone, Alfred will be gone soon,
|
|
and it will be five years before Jim is ready to take to business.
|
|
I shall want help, and Fred might come in and learn the nature
|
|
of things and act under me, and it might be the making of him into
|
|
a useful man, if he gives up being a parson. What do you think?"
|
|
|
|
"I think, there is hardly anything honest that his family would
|
|
object to more," said Mrs. Garth, decidedly.
|
|
|
|
"What care I about their objecting?" said Caleb, with a sturdiness
|
|
which he was apt to show when he had an opinion. "The lad is of age
|
|
and must get his bread. He has sense enough and quickness enough;
|
|
he likes being on the land, and it's my belief that he could learn
|
|
business well if he gave his mind to it."
|
|
|
|
"But would he? His father and mother wanted him to be a fine
|
|
gentleman, and I think he has the same sort of feeling himself.
|
|
They all think us beneath them. And if the proposal came from you,
|
|
I am sure Mrs. Vincy would say that we wanted Fred for Mary."
|
|
|
|
"Life is a poor tale, if it is to be settled by nonsense of that sort,"
|
|
said Caleb, with disgust.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, but there is a certain pride which is proper, Caleb."
|
|
|
|
"I call it improper pride to let fools' notions hinder you from doing
|
|
a good action. There's no sort of work," said Caleb, with fervor,
|
|
putting out his hand and moving it up and down to mark his emphasis,
|
|
"that could ever be done well, if you minded what fools say.
|
|
You must have it inside you that your plan is right, and that plan you
|
|
must follow."
|
|
|
|
"I will not oppose any plan you have set your mind on, Caleb,"
|
|
said Mrs. Garth, who was a firm woman, but knew that there
|
|
were some points on which her mild husband was yet firmer.
|
|
"Still, it seems to be fixed that Fred is to go back to college:
|
|
will it not be better to wait and see what he will choose to do
|
|
after that? It is not easy to keep people against their will.
|
|
And you are not yet quite sure enough of your own position,
|
|
or what you will want."
|
|
|
|
"Well, it may be better to wait a bit. But as to my getting
|
|
plenty of work for two, I'm pretty sure of that. I've always had
|
|
my hands full with scattered things, and there's always something
|
|
fresh turning up. Why, only yesterday--bless me, I don't think I
|
|
told you!--it was rather odd that two men should have been at me
|
|
on different sides to do the same bit of valuing. And who do you
|
|
think they were?" said Caleb, taking a pinch of snuff and holding
|
|
it up between his fingers, as if it were a part of his exposition.
|
|
He was fond of a pinch when it occurred to him, but he usually
|
|
forgot that this indulgence was at his command.
|
|
|
|
His wife held down her knitting and looked attentive.
|
|
|
|
"Why, that Rigg, or Rigg Featherstone, was one. But Bulstrode
|
|
was before him, so I'm going to do it for Bulstrode. Whether it's
|
|
mortgage or purchase they're going for, I can't tell yet."
|
|
|
|
"Can that man be going to sell the land just left him--which he
|
|
has taken the name for?" said Mrs. Garth.
|
|
|
|
"Deuce knows," said Caleb, who never referred the knowledge
|
|
of discreditable doings to any higher power than the deuce.
|
|
"But Bulstrode has long been wanting to get a handsome bit of land
|
|
under his fingers--that I know. And it's a difficult matter to get,
|
|
in this part of the country."
|
|
|
|
Caleb scattered his snuff carefully instead of taking it,
|
|
and then added, "The ins and outs of things are curious.
|
|
Here is the land they've been all along expecting for Fred,
|
|
which it seems the old man never meant to leave him a foot of,
|
|
but left it to this side-slip of a son that he kept in the dark,
|
|
and thought of his sticking there and vexing everybody as well as he
|
|
could have vexed 'em himself if he could have kept alive. I say,
|
|
it would be curious if it got into Bulstrode's hands after all.
|
|
The old man hated him, and never would bank with him."
|
|
|
|
"What reason could the miserable creature have for hating a man
|
|
whom he had nothing to do with?" said Mrs. Garth.
|
|
|
|
"Pooh! where's the use of asking for such fellows' reasons? The soul
|
|
of man," said Caleb, with the deep tone and grave shake of the head
|
|
which always came when he used this phrase--"The soul of man,
|
|
when it gets fairly rotten, will bear you all sorts of poisonous
|
|
toad-stools, and no eye can see whence came the seed thereof."
|
|
|
|
It was one of Caleb's quaintnesses, that in his difficulty of finding
|
|
speech for his thought, he caught, as it were, snatches of diction
|
|
which he associated with various points of view or states of mind;
|
|
and whenever he had a feeling of awe, he was haunted by a sense
|
|
of Biblical phraseology, though he could hardly have given
|
|
a strict quotation.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XLI.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"By swaggering could I never thrive,
|
|
For the rain it raineth every day.
|
|
--Twelfth Night
|
|
|
|
|
|
The transactions referred to by Caleb Garth as having gone forward
|
|
between Mr. Bulstrode and Mr. Joshua Rigg Featherstone concerning
|
|
the land attached to Stone Court, had occasioned the interchange
|
|
of a letter or two between these personages.
|
|
|
|
Who shall tell what may be the effect of writing? If it happens
|
|
to have been cut in stone, though it lie face down-most for ages
|
|
on a forsaken beach, or "rest quietly under the drums and tramplings
|
|
of many conquests," it may end by letting us into the secret of
|
|
usurpations and other scandals gossiped about long empires ago:--
|
|
this world being apparently a huge whispering-gallery. Such conditions
|
|
are often minutely represented in our petty lifetimes. As the stone
|
|
which has been kicked by generations of clowns may come by curious
|
|
little links of effect under the eyes of a scholar, through whose
|
|
labors it may at last fix the date of invasions and unlock religions,
|
|
so a bit of ink and paper which has long been an innocent wrapping
|
|
or stop-gap may at last be laid open under the one pair of eyes which
|
|
have knowledge enough to turn it into the opening of a catastrophe.
|
|
To Uriel watching the progress of planetary history from the sun,
|
|
the one result would be just as much of a coincidence as the other.
|
|
|
|
Having made this rather lofty comparison I am less uneasy in calling
|
|
attention to the existence of low people by whose interference,
|
|
however little we may like it, the course of the world is very
|
|
much determined. It would be well, certainly, if we could help
|
|
to reduce their number, and something might perhaps be done by not
|
|
lightly giving occasion to their existence. Socially speaking,
|
|
Joshua Rigg would have been generally pronounced a superfluity.
|
|
But those who like Peter Featherstone never had a copy of
|
|
themselves demanded, are the very last to wait for such a request
|
|
either in prose or verse. The copy in this case bore more of
|
|
outside resemblance to the mother, in whose sex frog-features,
|
|
accompanied with fresh-colored cheeks and a well-rounded figure,
|
|
are compatible with much charm for a certain order of admirers.
|
|
The result is sometimes a frog-faced male, desirable, surely,
|
|
to no order of intelligent beings. Especially when he is suddenly
|
|
brought into evidence to frustrate other people's expectations--
|
|
the very lowest aspect in which a social superfluity can present himself.
|
|
|
|
But Mr. Rigg Featherstone's low characteristics were all of the sober,
|
|
water-drinking kind. From the earliest to the latest hour of the day
|
|
he was always as sleek, neat, and cool as the frog he resembled,
|
|
and old Peter had secretly chuckled over an offshoot almost more
|
|
calculating, and far more imperturbable, than himself. I will add
|
|
that his finger-nails were scrupulously attended to, and that he
|
|
meant to marry a well-educated young lady (as yet unspecified)
|
|
whose person was good, and whose connections, in a solid middle-class
|
|
way, were undeniable. Thus his nails and modesty were comparable
|
|
to those of most gentlemen; though his ambition had been educated
|
|
only by the opportunities of a clerk and accountant in the smaller
|
|
commercial houses of a seaport. He thought the rural Featherstones
|
|
very simple absurd people, and they in their turn regarded his
|
|
"bringing up" in a seaport town as an exaggeration of the monstrosity
|
|
that their brother Peter, and still more Peter's property, should
|
|
have had such belongings.
|
|
|
|
The garden and gravel approach, as seen from the two windows of the
|
|
wainscoted parlor at Stone Court, were never in better trim than now,
|
|
when Mr. Rigg Featherstone stood, with his hands behind him,
|
|
looking out on these grounds as their master. But it seemed doubtful
|
|
whether he looked out for the sake of contemplation or of turning his
|
|
back to a person who stood in the middle of the room, with his legs
|
|
considerably apart and his hands in his trouser-pockets: a person
|
|
in all respects a contrast to the sleek and cool Rigg. He was a man
|
|
obviously on the way towards sixty, very florid and hairy, with much
|
|
gray in his bushy whiskers and thick curly hair, a stoutish body
|
|
which showed to disadvantage the somewhat worn joinings of his clothes,
|
|
and the air of a swaggerer, who would aim at being noticeable even at
|
|
a show of fireworks, regarding his own remarks on any other person's
|
|
performance as likely to be more interesting than the performance itself.
|
|
|
|
His name was John Raffles, and he sometimes wrote jocosely W.A.G.
|
|
after his signature, observing when he did so, that he was once
|
|
taught by Leonard Lamb of Finsbury who wrote B.A. after his name,
|
|
and that he, Raffles, originated the witticism of calling that
|
|
celebrated principal Ba-Lamb. Such were the appearance and mental
|
|
flavor of Mr. Raffles, both of which seemed to have a stale odor
|
|
of travellers' rooms in the commercial hotels of that period.
|
|
|
|
"Come, now, Josh," he was saying, in a full rumbling tone, "look at it
|
|
in this light: here is your poor mother going into the vale of years,
|
|
and you could afford something handsome now to make her comfortable."
|
|
|
|
"Not while you live. Nothing would make her comfortable while
|
|
you live," returned Rigg, in his cool high voice. "What I give her,
|
|
you'll take."
|
|
|
|
"You bear me a grudge, Josh, that I know. But come, now--as between
|
|
man and man--without humbug--a little capital might enable me to make
|
|
a first-rate thing of the shop. The tobacco trade is growing.
|
|
I should cut my own nose off in not doing the best I could at it.
|
|
I should stick to it like a flea to a fleece for my own sake.
|
|
I should always be on the spot. And nothing would make your
|
|
poor mother so happy. I've pretty well done with my wild oats--
|
|
turned fifty-five. I want to settle down in my chimney-corner. And
|
|
if I once buckled to the tobacco trade, I could bring an amount
|
|
of brains and experience to bear on it that would not be found
|
|
elsewhere in a hurry. I don't want to be bothering you one time
|
|
after another, but to get things once for all into the right channel.
|
|
Consider that, Josh--as between man and man--and with your poor mother
|
|
to be made easy for her life. I was always fond of the old woman,
|
|
by Jove!"
|
|
|
|
"Have you done?" said Mr. Rigg, quietly, without looking away
|
|
from the window.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I've done," said Raffles, taking hold of his hat which stood
|
|
before him on the table, and giving it a sort of oratorical push.
|
|
|
|
"Then just listen to me. The more you say anything, the less I shall
|
|
believe it. The more you want me to do a thing, the more reason I
|
|
shall have for never doing it. Do you think I mean to forget your
|
|
kicking me when I was a lad, and eating all the best victual away
|
|
from me and my mother? Do you think I forget your always coming
|
|
home to sell and pocket everything, and going off again leaving us
|
|
in the lurch? I should be glad to see you whipped at the cart-tail.
|
|
My mother was a fool to you: she'd no right to give me a father-in-law,
|
|
and she's been punished for it. She shall have her weekly allowance
|
|
paid and no more: and that shall be stopped if you dare to come
|
|
on to these premises again, or to come into this country after
|
|
me again. The next time you show yourself inside the gates here,
|
|
you shall be driven off with the dogs and the wagoner's whip."
|
|
|
|
As Rigg pronounced the last words he turned round and looked
|
|
at Raffles with his prominent frozen eyes. The contrast
|
|
was as striking as it could have been eighteen years before,
|
|
when Rigg was a most unengaging kickable boy, and Raffles was
|
|
the rather thick-set Adonis of bar-rooms and back-parlors. But
|
|
the advantage now was on the side of Rigg, and auditors of this
|
|
conversation might probably have expected that Raffles would retire
|
|
with the air of a defeated dog. Not at all. He made a grimace
|
|
which was habitual with him whenever he was "out" in a game;
|
|
then subsided into a laugh, and drew a brandy-flask from his pocket.
|
|
|
|
"Come, Josh," he said, in a cajoling tone, "give us a spoonful of brandy,
|
|
and a sovereign to pay the way back, and I'll go. Honor bright!
|
|
I'll go like a bullet, BY Jove!"
|
|
|
|
"Mind," said Rigg, drawing out a bunch of keys, "if I ever see you again,
|
|
I shan't speak to you. I don't own you any more than if I saw a crow;
|
|
and if you want to own me you'll get nothing by it but a character
|
|
for being what you are--a spiteful, brassy, bullying rogue."
|
|
|
|
"That's a pity, now, Josh," said Raffles, affecting to scratch
|
|
his head and wrinkle his brows upward as if he were nonplussed.
|
|
"I'm very fond of you; BY Jove, I am! There's nothing I like
|
|
better than plaguing you--you're so like your mother, and I must
|
|
do without it. But the brandy and the sovereign's a bargain."
|
|
|
|
He jerked forward the flask and Rigg went to a fine old oaken
|
|
bureau with his keys. But Raffles had reminded himself by his
|
|
movement with the flask that it had become dangerously loose
|
|
from its leather covering, and catching sight of a folded paper
|
|
which had fallen within the fender, he took it up and shoved
|
|
it under the leather so as to make the glass firm.
|
|
|
|
By that time Rigg came forward with a brandy-bottle, filled
|
|
the flask, and handed Raffles a sovereign, neither looking at him
|
|
nor speaking to him. After locking up the bureau again, he walked
|
|
to the window and gazed out as impassibly as he had done at the
|
|
beginning of the interview, while Raffles took a small allowance
|
|
from the flask, screwed it up, and deposited it in his side-pocket,
|
|
with provoking slowness, making a grimace at his stepson's back.
|
|
|
|
"Farewell, Josh--and if forever!" said Raffles, turning back his
|
|
head as he opened the door.
|
|
|
|
Rigg saw him leave the grounds and enter the lane. The gray day
|
|
had turned to a light drizzling rain, which freshened the hedgerows
|
|
and the grassy borders of the by-roads, and hastened the laborers
|
|
who were loading the last shocks of corn. Raffles, walking with
|
|
the uneasy gait of a town loiterer obliged to do a bit of country
|
|
journeying on foot, looked as incongruous amid this moist rural quiet
|
|
and industry as if he had been a baboon escaped from a menagerie.
|
|
But there were none to stare at him except the long-weaned calves,
|
|
and none to show dislike of his appearance except the little
|
|
water-rats which rustled away at his approach.
|
|
|
|
He was fortunate enough when he got on to the highroad to be overtaken
|
|
by the stage-coach, which carried him to Brassing; and there he took
|
|
the new-made railway, observing to his fellow-passengers that he
|
|
considered it pretty well seasoned now it had done for Huskisson.
|
|
Mr. Raffles on most occasions kept up the sense of having been
|
|
educated at an academy, and being able, if he chose, to pass
|
|
well everywhere; indeed, there was not one of his fellow-men whom
|
|
he did not feel himself in a position to ridicule and torment,
|
|
confident of the entertainment which he thus gave to all the rest
|
|
of the company.
|
|
|
|
He played this part now with as much spirit as if his journey had been
|
|
entirely successful, resorting at frequent intervals to his flask.
|
|
The paper with which he had wedged it was a letter signed
|
|
Nicholas Bulstrode, but Raffles was not likely to disturb it
|
|
from its present useful position.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XLII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"How much, methinks, I could despise this man
|
|
Were I not bound in charity against it!
|
|
--SHAKESPEARE: Henry VIII.
|
|
|
|
One of the professional calls made by Lydgate soon after his return
|
|
from his wedding-journey was to Lowick Manor, in consequence
|
|
of a letter which had requested him to fix a time for his visit.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon had never put any question concerning the nature
|
|
of his illness to Lydgate, nor had he even to Dorothea betrayed
|
|
any anxiety as to how far it might be likely to cut short his
|
|
labors or his life. On this point, as on all others, he shrank
|
|
from pity; and if the suspicion of being pitied for anything
|
|
in his lot surmised or known in spite of himself was embittering,
|
|
the idea of calling forth a show of compassion by frankly admitting
|
|
an alarm or a sorrow was necessarily intolerable to him.
|
|
Every proud mind knows something of this experience, and perhaps
|
|
it is only to be overcome by a sense of fellowship deep enough
|
|
to make all efforts at isolation seem mean and petty instead of exalting.
|
|
|
|
But Mr. Casaubon was now brooding over something through which the
|
|
question of his health and life haunted his silence with a more
|
|
harassing importunity even than through the autumnal unripeness
|
|
of his authorship. It is true that this last might be called his
|
|
central ambition; but there are some kinds of authorship in which
|
|
by far the largest result is the uneasy susceptibility accumulated
|
|
in the consciousness of the author one knows of the river by a
|
|
few streaks amid a long-gathered deposit of uncomfortable mud.
|
|
That was the way with Mr. Casaubon's hard intellectual labors.
|
|
Their most characteristic result was not the "Key to all Mythologies,"
|
|
but a morbid consciousness that others did not give him the place
|
|
which he had not demonstrably merited--a perpetual suspicious
|
|
conjecture that the views entertained of him were not to his advantage--
|
|
a melancholy absence of passion in his efforts at achievement, and a
|
|
passionate resistance to the confession that he had achieved nothing.
|
|
|
|
Thus his intellectual ambition which seemed to others to have
|
|
absorbed and dried him, was really no security against wounds,
|
|
least of all against those which came from Dorothea. And he had
|
|
begun now to frame possibilities for the future which were somehow
|
|
more embittering to him than anything his mind had dwelt on before.
|
|
|
|
Against certain facts he was helpless: against Will Ladislaw's
|
|
existence his defiant stay in the neighborhood of Lowick, and his
|
|
flippant state of mind with regard to the possessors of authentic,
|
|
well-stamped erudition: against Dorothea's nature, always taking on
|
|
some new shape of ardent activity, and even in submission and silence
|
|
covering fervid reasons which it was an irritation to think of:
|
|
against certain notions and likings which had taken possession of
|
|
her mind in relation to subjects that he could not possibly discuss
|
|
with her. "There was no denying that Dorothea was as virtuous
|
|
and lovely a young lady as he could have obtained for a wife;
|
|
but a young lady turned out to be something more troublesome than he
|
|
had conceived. She nursed him, she read to him, she anticipated
|
|
his wants, and was solicitous about his feelings; but there had
|
|
entered into the husband's mind the certainty that she judged him,
|
|
and that her wifely devotedness was like a penitential expiation
|
|
of unbelieving thoughts--was accompanied with a power of comparison
|
|
by which himself and his doings were seen too luminously as a part
|
|
of things in general. His discontent passed vapor-like through all
|
|
her gentle loving manifestations, and clung to that inappreciative
|
|
world which she had only brought nearer to him.
|
|
|
|
Poor Mr. Casaubon! This suffering was the harder to bear because it
|
|
seemed like a betrayal: the young creature who had worshipped
|
|
him with perfect trust had quickly turned into the critical wife;
|
|
and early instances of criticism and resentment had made an impression
|
|
which no tenderness and submission afterwards could remove.
|
|
To his suspicious interpretation Dorothea's silence now was
|
|
a suppressed rebellion; a remark from her which he had not in
|
|
any way anticipated was an assertion of conscious superiority;
|
|
her gentle answers had an irritating cautiousness in them;
|
|
and when she acquiesced it was a self-approved effort of forbearance.
|
|
The tenacity with which he strove to hide this inward drama made it
|
|
the more vivid for him; as we hear with the more keenness what we
|
|
wish others not to hear.
|
|
|
|
Instead of wondering at this result of misery in Mr. Casaubon,
|
|
I think it quite ordinary. Will not a tiny speck very close to our
|
|
vision blot out the glory of the world, and leave only a margin
|
|
by which we see the blot? I know no speck so troublesome as self.
|
|
And who, if Mr. Casaubon had chosen to expound his discontents--
|
|
his suspicions that he was not any longer adored without criticism--
|
|
could have denied that they were founded on good reasons?
|
|
On the contrary, there was a strong reason to be added, which he
|
|
had not himself taken explicitly into account--namely, that he was
|
|
not unmixedly adorable. He suspected this, however, as he suspected
|
|
other things, without confessing it, and like the rest of us,
|
|
felt how soothing it would have been to have a co pan ion who would
|
|
never find it out.
|
|
|
|
This sore susceptibility in relation to Dorothea was thoroughly
|
|
prepared before Will Ladislaw had returned to Lowick, and what had
|
|
occurred since then had brought Mr. Casaubon's power of suspicious
|
|
construction into exasperated activity. To all the facts which he knew,
|
|
he added imaginary facts both present and future which become more
|
|
real to him than those because they called up a stronger dislike,
|
|
a more predominating bitterness. Suspicion and jealousy of Will
|
|
Ladislaw's intentions, suspicion and jealousy of Dorothea's impressions,
|
|
were constantly at their weaving work. It would be quite unjust
|
|
to him to suppose that he could have entered into any coarse
|
|
misinterpretation of Dorothea: his own habits of mind and conduct,
|
|
quite as much as the open elevation of her nature, saved him
|
|
from any such mistake. What he was jealous of was her opinion,
|
|
the sway that might be given to her ardent mind in its judgments,
|
|
and the future possibilities to which these might lead her.
|
|
As to Will, though until his last defiant letter he had nothing definite
|
|
which he would choose formally to allege against him, he felt himself
|
|
warranted in believing that he was capable of any design which could
|
|
fascinate a rebellious temper and an undisciplined impulsiveness.
|
|
He was quite sure that Dorothea was the cause of Will's return
|
|
from Rome, and his determination to settle in the neighborhood;
|
|
and he was penetrating enough to imagine that Dorothea had innocently
|
|
encouraged this course. It was as clear as possible that she was
|
|
ready to be attached to Will and to be pliant to his suggestions:
|
|
they had never had a tete-a-tete without her bringing away from
|
|
it some new troublesome impression, and the last interview that
|
|
Mr. Casaubon was aware of (Dorothea, on returning from Freshitt Hall,
|
|
had for the first time been silent about having seen Will) had led
|
|
to a scene which roused an angrier feeling against them both than
|
|
he had ever known before. Dorothea's outpouring of her notions
|
|
about money, in the darkness of the night, had done nothing but bring
|
|
a mixture of more odious foreboding into her husband's mind.
|
|
|
|
And there was the shock lately given to his health always sadly
|
|
present with him. He was certainly much revived; he had recovered
|
|
all his usual power of work: the illness might have been mere fatigue,
|
|
and there might still be twenty years of achievement before him,
|
|
which would justify the thirty years of preparation. That prospect
|
|
was made the sweeter by a flavor of vengeance against the hasty
|
|
sneers of Carp & Company; for even when Mr. Casaubon was carrying
|
|
his taper among the tombs of the past, those modern figures came
|
|
athwart the dim light, and interrupted his diligent exploration.
|
|
To convince Carp of his mistake, so that he would have to eat his
|
|
own words with a good deal of indigestion, would be an agreeable
|
|
accident of triumphant authorship, which the prospect of living to
|
|
future ages on earth and to all eternity in heaven could not exclude
|
|
from contemplation. Since, thus, the prevision of his own unending
|
|
bliss could not nullify the bitter savors of irritated jealousy
|
|
and vindictiveness, it is the less surprising that the probability
|
|
of a transient earthly bliss for other persons, when he himself
|
|
should have entered into glory, had not a potently sweetening effect.
|
|
If the truth should be that some undermining disease was at work
|
|
within him, there might be large opportunity for some people to be
|
|
the happier when he was gone; and if one of those people should be
|
|
Will Ladislaw, Mr. Casaubon objected so strongly that it seemed
|
|
as if the annoyance would make part of his disembodied existence.
|
|
|
|
This is a very bare and therefore a very incomplete way of putting
|
|
the case. The human soul moves in many channels, and Mr. Casaubon,
|
|
we know, had a sense of rectitude and an honorable pride in satisfying
|
|
the requirements of honor, which compelled him to find other
|
|
reasons for his conduct than those of jealousy and vindictiveness.
|
|
The way in which Mr. Casaubon put the case was this:--"In marrying
|
|
Dorothea Brooke I had to care for her well-being in case of my death.
|
|
But well-being is not to be secured by ample, independent possession
|
|
of property; on the contrary, occasions might arise in which such
|
|
possession might expose her to the more danger. She is ready prey
|
|
to any man who knows how to play adroitly either on her affectionate
|
|
ardor or her Quixotic enthusiasm; and a man stands by with that
|
|
very intention in his mind--a man with no other principle than
|
|
transient caprice, and who has a personal animosity towards me--
|
|
I am sure of it--an animosity which is fed by the consciousness
|
|
of his ingratitude, and which he has constantly vented in ridicule
|
|
of which I am as well assured as if I had heard it. Even if I
|
|
live I shall not be without uneasiness as to what he may attempt
|
|
through indirect influence. This man has gained Dorothea's ear:
|
|
he has fascinated her attention; he has evidently tried to impress
|
|
her mind with the notion that he has claims beyond anything I have done
|
|
for him. If I die--and he is waiting here on the watch for that--
|
|
he will persuade her to marry him. That would be calamity for
|
|
her and success for him. SHE would not think it calamity:
|
|
he would make her believe anything; she has a tendency to
|
|
immoderate attachment which she inwardly reproaches me for not
|
|
responding to, and already her mind is occupied with his fortunes.
|
|
He thinks of an easy conquest and of entering into my nest.
|
|
That I will hinder! Such a marriage would be fatal to Dorothea.
|
|
Has he ever persisted in anything except from contradiction?
|
|
In knowledge he has always tried to be showy at small cost.
|
|
In religion he could be, as long as it suited him, the facile echo of
|
|
Dorothea's vagaries. When was sciolism ever dissociated from laxity?
|
|
I utterly distrust his morals, and it is my duty to hinder to the
|
|
utmost the fulfilment of his designs."
|
|
|
|
The arrangements made by Mr. Casaubon on his marriage left strong
|
|
measures open to him, but in ruminating on them his mind inevitably
|
|
dwelt so much on the probabilities of his own life that the longing
|
|
to get the nearest possible calculation had at last overcome his
|
|
proud reticence, and had determined him to ask Lydgate's opinion
|
|
as to the nature of his illness.
|
|
|
|
He had mentioned to Dorothea that Lydgate was coming by appointment
|
|
at half-past three, and in answer to her anxious question, whether he
|
|
had felt ill, replied,--"No, I merely wish to have his opinion
|
|
concerning some habitual symptoms. You need not see him, my dear.
|
|
I shall give orders that he may be sent to me in the Yew-tree Walk,
|
|
where I shall be taking my usual exercise."
|
|
|
|
When Lydgate entered the Yew-tree Walk he saw Mr. Casaubon slowly
|
|
receding with his hands behind him according to his habit,
|
|
and his head bent forward. It was a lovely afternoon; the leaves
|
|
from the lofty limes were falling silently across the sombre
|
|
evergreens, while the lights and shadows slept side by side:
|
|
there was no sound but the cawing of the rooks, which to the
|
|
accustomed ear is a lullaby, or that last solemn lullaby, a dirge.
|
|
Lydgate, conscious of an energetic frame in its prime, felt some
|
|
compassion when the figure which he was likely soon to overtake
|
|
turned round, and in advancing towards him showed more markedly
|
|
than ever the signs of premature age--the student's bent shoulders,
|
|
the emaciated limbs, and the melancholy lines of the mouth.
|
|
"Poor fellow," he thought, "some men with his years are like lions;
|
|
one can tell nothing of their age except that they are full grown."
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Lydgate," said Mr. Casaubon, with his invariably po lite air,
|
|
"I am exceedingly obliged to you for your punctuality. We will,
|
|
if you please, carry on our conversation in walking to and fro."
|
|
|
|
"I hope your wish to see me is not due to the return
|
|
of unpleasant symptoms," said Lydgate, filling up a pause.
|
|
|
|
"Not immediately--no. In order to account for that wish I must mention--
|
|
what it were otherwise needless to refer to--that my life,
|
|
on all collateral accounts insignificant, derives a possible
|
|
importance from the incompleteness of labors which have extended
|
|
through all its best years. In short, I have long had on hand
|
|
a work which I would fain leave behind me in such a state, at least,
|
|
that it might be committed to the press by--others. Were I assured
|
|
that this is the utmost I can reasonably expect, that assurance
|
|
would be a useful circumscription of my attempts, and a guide
|
|
in both the positive and negative determination of my course."
|
|
|
|
Here Mr. Casaubon paused, removed one hand from his back and thrust
|
|
it between the buttons of his single-breasted coat. To a mind
|
|
largely instructed in the human destiny hardly anything could be
|
|
more interesting than the inward conflict implied in his formal
|
|
measured address, delivered with the usual sing-song and motion
|
|
of the head. Nay, are there many situations more sublimely tragic
|
|
than the struggle of the soul with the demand to renounce a work
|
|
which has been all the significance of its life--a significance
|
|
which is to vanish as the waters which come and go where no man has
|
|
need of them? But there was nothing to strike others as sublime
|
|
about Mr. Casaubon, and Lydgate, who had some contempt at hand for
|
|
futile scholarship, felt a little amusement mingling with his pity.
|
|
He was at present too ill acquainted with disaster to enter into
|
|
the pathos of a lot where everything is below the level of tragedy
|
|
except the passionate egoism of the sufferer.
|
|
|
|
"You refer to the possible hindrances from want of health?" he said,
|
|
wishing to help forward Mr. Casaubon's purpose, which seemed to be
|
|
clogged by some hesitation.
|
|
|
|
"I do. You have not implied to me that the symptoms which--
|
|
I am bound to testify--you watched with scrupulous care,
|
|
were those of a fatal disease. But were it so, Mr. Lydgate,
|
|
I should desire to know the truth without reservation, and I
|
|
appeal to you for an exact statement of your conclusions:
|
|
I request it as a friendly service. If you can tell me that my
|
|
life is not threatened by anything else than ordinary casualties,
|
|
I shall rejoice, on grounds which I have already indicated.
|
|
If not, knowledge of the truth is even more important to me."
|
|
|
|
"Then I can no longer hesitate as to my course," said Lydgate;
|
|
"but the first thing I must impress on you is that my conclusions
|
|
are doubly uncertain--uncertain not only because of my fallibility,
|
|
but because diseases of the heart are eminently difficult to found
|
|
predictions on. In any ease, one can hardly increase appreciably
|
|
the tremendous uncertainty of life."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon winced perceptibly, but bowed.
|
|
|
|
"I believe that you are suffering from what is called fatty
|
|
degeneration of the heart, a disease which was first divined
|
|
and explored by Laennec, the man who gave us the stethoscope,
|
|
not so very many years ago. A good deal of experience--a more
|
|
lengthened observation--is wanting on the subject. But after
|
|
what you have said, it is my duty to tell you that death from this
|
|
disease is often sudden. At the same time, no such result can
|
|
be predicted. Your condition may be consistent with a tolerably
|
|
comfortable life for another fifteen years, or even more. I could
|
|
add no information to this beyond anatomical or medical details,
|
|
which would leave expectation at precisely the same point."
|
|
Lydgate's instinct was fine enough to tell him that plain speech,
|
|
quite free from ostentatious caution, would be felt by Mr. Casaubon
|
|
as a tribute of respect.
|
|
|
|
"I thank you, Mr. Lydgate," said Mr. Casaubon, after a moment's pause.
|
|
"One thing more I have still to ask: did you communicate what you
|
|
have now told me to Mrs. Casaubon?"
|
|
|
|
"Partly--I mean, as to the possible issues." Lydgate was going
|
|
to explain why he had told Dorothea, but Mr. Casaubon, with an
|
|
unmistakable desire to end the conversation, waved his hand slightly,
|
|
and said again, "I thank you," proceeding to remark on the rare
|
|
beauty of the day.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate, certain that his patient wished to be alone, soon left him;
|
|
and the black figure with hands behind and head bent forward
|
|
continued to pace the walk where the dark yew-trees gave him
|
|
a mute companionship in melancholy, and the little shadows of bird
|
|
or leaf that fleeted across the isles of sunlight, stole along
|
|
in silence as in the presence of a sorrow. Here was a man who now
|
|
for the first time found himself looking into the eyes of death--
|
|
who was passing through one of those rare moments of experience
|
|
when we feel the truth of a commonplace, which is as different from
|
|
what we call knowing it, as the vision of waters upon the earth is
|
|
different from the delirious vision of the water which cannot be had
|
|
to cool the burning tongue. When the commonplace "We must all die"
|
|
transforms itself suddenly into the acute consciousness "I must die--
|
|
and soon," then death grapples us, and his fingers are cruel;
|
|
afterwards, he may come to fold us in his arms as our mother did,
|
|
and our last moment of dim earthly discerning may be like the first.
|
|
To Mr. Casaubon now, it was as if he suddenly found himself on
|
|
the dark river-brink and heard the plash of the oncoming oar,
|
|
not discerning the forms, but expecting the summons. In such an
|
|
hour the mind does not change its lifelong bias, but carries it
|
|
onward in imagination to the other side of death, gazing backward--
|
|
perhaps with the divine calm of beneficence, perhaps with the petty
|
|
anxieties of self-assertion. What was Mr. Casaubon's bias his acts
|
|
will give us a clew to. He held himself to be, with some private
|
|
scholarly reservations, a believing Christian, as to estimates of
|
|
the present and hopes of the future. But what we strive to gratify,
|
|
though we may call it a distant hope, is an immediate desire:
|
|
the future estate for which men drudge up city alleys exists already
|
|
in their imagination and love. And Mr. Casaubon's immediate desire
|
|
was not for divine communion and light divested of earthly conditions;
|
|
his passionate longings, poor man, clung low and mist-like in very
|
|
shady places.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea had been aware when Lydgate had ridden away, and she had
|
|
stepped into the garden, with the impulse to go at once to her husband.
|
|
But she hesitated, fearing to offend him by obtruding herself;
|
|
for her ardor, continually repulsed, served, with her intense memory,
|
|
to heighten her dread, as thwarted energy subsides into a shudder;
|
|
and she wandered slowly round the nearer clumps of trees until
|
|
she saw him advancing. Then she went towards him, and might have
|
|
represented a heaven-sent angel coming with a promise that the
|
|
short hours remaining should yet be filled with that faithful
|
|
love which clings the closer to a comprehended grief. His glance
|
|
in reply to hers was so chill that she felt her timidity increased;
|
|
yet she turned and passed her hand through his arm.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon kept his hands behind him and allowed her pliant arm
|
|
to cling with difficulty against his rigid arm.
|
|
|
|
There was something horrible to Dorothea in the sensation which this
|
|
unresponsive hardness inflicted on her. That is a strong word,
|
|
but not too strong: it is in these acts called trivialities that
|
|
the seeds of joy are forever wasted, until men and women look round
|
|
with haggard faces at the devastation their own waste has made,
|
|
and say, the earth bears no harvest of sweetness--calling their
|
|
denial knowledge. You may ask why, in the name of manliness,
|
|
Mr. Casaubon should have behaved in that way. Consider that his
|
|
was a mind which shrank from pity: have you ever watched in such
|
|
a mind the effect of a suspicion that what is pressing it as a grief
|
|
may be really a source of contentment, either actual or future,
|
|
to the being who already offends by pitying? Besides, he knew
|
|
little of Dorothea's sensations, and had not reflected that on
|
|
such an occasion as the present they were comparable in strength
|
|
to his own sensibilities about Carp's criticisms.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea did not withdraw her arm, but she could not venture to speak.
|
|
Mr. Casaubon did not say, "I wish to be alone," but he directed his
|
|
steps in silence towards the house, and as they entered by the glass
|
|
door on this eastern side, Dorothea withdrew her arm and lingered
|
|
on the matting, that she might leave her husband quite free.
|
|
He entered the library and shut himself in, alone with his sorrow.
|
|
|
|
She went up to her boudoir. The open bow-window let in the serene
|
|
glory of the afternoon lying in the avenue, where the lime-trees
|
|
east long shadows. But Dorothea knew nothing of the scene.
|
|
She threw herself on a chair, not heeding that she was in the
|
|
dazzling sun-rays: if there were discomfort in that, how could
|
|
she tell that it was not part of her inward misery?
|
|
|
|
She was in the reaction of a rebellious anger stronger than any she
|
|
had felt since her marriage. Instead of tears there came words:--
|
|
|
|
"What have I done--what am I--that he should treat me so?
|
|
He never knows what is in my mind--he never cares. What is the use
|
|
of anything I do? He wishes he had never married me."
|
|
|
|
She began to hear herself, and was checked into stillness. Like one
|
|
who has lost his way and is weary, she sat and saw as in one glance
|
|
all the paths of her young hope which she should never find again.
|
|
And just as clearly in the miserable light she saw her own and her
|
|
husband's solitude--how they walked apart so that she was obliged
|
|
to survey him. If he had drawn her towards him, she would never have
|
|
surveyed him--never have said, "Is he worth living for?" but would
|
|
have felt him simply a part of her own life. Now she said bitterly,
|
|
"It is his fault, not mine." In the jar of her whole being,
|
|
Pity was overthrown. Was it her fault that she had believed in him--
|
|
had believed in his worthiness?--And what, exactly, was he?--
|
|
She was able enough to estimate him--she who waited on his glances
|
|
with trembling, and shut her best soul in prison, paying it only
|
|
hidden visits, that she might be petty enough to please him.
|
|
In such a crisis as this, some women begin to hate.
|
|
|
|
The sun was low when Dorothea was thinking that she would not go
|
|
down again, but would send a message to her husband saying that she
|
|
was not well and preferred remaining up-stairs. She had never
|
|
deliberately allowed her resentment to govern her in this way before,
|
|
but she believed now that she could not see him again without
|
|
telling him the truth about her feeling, and she must wait till
|
|
she could do it without interruption. He might wonder and be hurt
|
|
at her message. It was good that he should wonder and be hurt.
|
|
Her anger said, as anger is apt to say, that God was with her--
|
|
that all heaven, though it were crowded with spirits watching them,
|
|
must be on her side. She had determined to ring her bell, when there
|
|
came a rap at the door.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon had sent to say that he would have his dinner
|
|
in the library. He wished to be quite alone this evening,
|
|
being much occupied.
|
|
|
|
"I shall not dine, then, Tantripp."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, madam, let me bring you a little something?"
|
|
|
|
"No; I am not well. Get everything ready in my dressing room,
|
|
but pray do not disturb me again."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea sat almost motionless in her meditative struggle,
|
|
while the evening slowly deepened into night. But the struggle
|
|
changed continually, as that of a man who begins with a movement
|
|
towards striking and ends with conquering his desire to strike.
|
|
The energy that would animate a crime is not more than is wanted
|
|
to inspire a resolved, submission, when the noble habit of the soul
|
|
reasserts itself. That thought with which Dorothea had gone
|
|
out to meet her husband--her conviction that he had been asking
|
|
about the possible arrest of all his work, and that the answer
|
|
must have wrung his heart, could not be long without rising beside
|
|
the image of him, like a shadowy monitor looking at her anger
|
|
with sad remonstrance. It cost her a litany of pictured sorrows
|
|
and of silent cries that she might be the mercy for those sorrows--
|
|
but the resolved submission did come; and when the house was still,
|
|
and she knew that it was near the time when Mr. Casaubon habitually
|
|
went to rest, she opened her door gently and stood outside in the
|
|
darkness waiting for his coming up-stairs with a light in his hand.
|
|
If he did not come soon she thought that she would go down and even risk
|
|
incurring another pang. She would never again expect anything else.
|
|
But she did hear the library door open, and slowly the light advanced
|
|
up the staircase without noise from the footsteps on the carpet.
|
|
When her husband stood opposite to her, she saw that his face was
|
|
more haggard. He started slightly on seeing her, and she looked up
|
|
at him beseechingly, without speaking.
|
|
|
|
"Dorothea!" he said, with a gentle surprise in his tone. "Were you
|
|
waiting for me?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I did not like to disturb you."
|
|
|
|
"Come, my dear, come. You are young, and need not to extend your
|
|
life by watching."
|
|
|
|
When the kind quiet melancholy of that speech fell on Dorothea's ears,
|
|
she felt something like the thankfulness that might well up
|
|
in us if we had narrowly escaped hurting a lamed creature.
|
|
She put her hand into her husband's, and they went along the broad
|
|
corridor together.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
BOOK V.
|
|
|
|
THE DEAD HAND.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XLIII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
This figure hath high price: 't was wrought with love
|
|
Ages ago in finest ivory;
|
|
Nought modish in it, pure and noble lines
|
|
Of generous womanhood that fits all time
|
|
That too is costly ware; majolica
|
|
Of deft design, to please a lordly eye:
|
|
The smile, you see, is perfect--wonderful
|
|
As mere Faience! a table ornament
|
|
To suit the richest mounting."
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dorothea seldom left home without her husband, but she did occasionally
|
|
drive into Middlemarch alone, on little errands of shopping or charity
|
|
such as occur to every lady of any wealth when she lives within three
|
|
miles of a town. Two days after that scene in the Yew-tree Walk,
|
|
she determined to use such an opportunity in order if possible to
|
|
see Lydgate, and learn from him whether her husband had really felt
|
|
any depressing change of symptoms which he was concealing from her,
|
|
and whether he had insisted on knowing the utmost about himself.
|
|
She felt almost guilty in asking for knowledge about him from another,
|
|
but the dread of being without it--the dread of that ignorance
|
|
which would make her unjust or hard--overcame every scruple.
|
|
That there had been some crisis in her husband's mind she was certain:
|
|
he had the very next day begun a new method of arranging his notes,
|
|
and had associated her quite newly in carrying out his plan.
|
|
Poor Dorothea needed to lay up stores of patience.
|
|
|
|
It was about four o'clock when she drove to Lydgate's house in
|
|
Lowick Gate, wishing, in her immediate doubt of finding him at home,
|
|
that she had written beforehand. And he was not at home.
|
|
|
|
"Is Mrs. Lydgate at home?" said Dorothea, who had never, that she
|
|
knew of, seen Rosamond, but now remembered the fact of the marriage.
|
|
Yes, Mrs. Lydgate was at home.
|
|
|
|
"I will go in and speak to her, if she will allow me. Will you
|
|
ask her if she can see me--see Mrs. Casaubon, for a few minutes?"
|
|
|
|
When the servant had gone to deliver that message, Dorothea could
|
|
hear sounds of music through an open window--a few notes
|
|
from a man's voice and then a piano bursting into roulades.
|
|
But the roulades broke off suddenly, and then the servant came
|
|
back saying that Mrs. Lydgate would be happy to see Mrs. Casaubon.
|
|
|
|
When the drawing-room door opened and Dorothea entered, there was
|
|
a sort of contrast not infrequent in country life when the habits
|
|
of the different ranks were less blent than now. Let those who know,
|
|
tell us exactly what stuff it was that Dorothea wore in those days
|
|
of mild autumn--that thin white woollen stuff soft to the touch
|
|
and soft to the eye. It always seemed to have been lately washed,
|
|
and to smell of the sweet hedges--was always in the shape of a
|
|
pelisse with sleeves hanging all out of the fashion. Yet if she
|
|
had entered before a still audience as Imogene or Cato's daughter,
|
|
the dress might have seemed right enough: the grace and dignity were
|
|
in her limbs and neck; and about her simply parted hair and candid
|
|
eyes the large round poke which was then in the fate of women,
|
|
seemed no more odd as a head-dress than the gold trencher we call
|
|
a halo. By the present audience of two persons, no dramatic heroine
|
|
could have been expected with more interest than Mrs. Casaubon.
|
|
To Rosamond she was one of those county divinities not mixing with
|
|
Middlemarch mortality, whose slightest marks of manner or appearance
|
|
were worthy of her study; moreover, Rosamond was not without satisfaction
|
|
that Mrs. Casaubon should have an opportunity of studying HER.
|
|
What is the use of being exquisite if you are not seen by the best
|
|
judges? and since Rosamond had received the highest compliments
|
|
at Sir Godwin Lydgate's, she felt quite confident of the impression
|
|
she must make on people of good birth. Dorothea put out her hand
|
|
with her usual simple kindness, and looked admiringly at Lydgate's
|
|
lovely bride--aware that there was a gentleman standing at a distance,
|
|
but seeing him merely as a coated figure at a wide angle.
|
|
The gentleman was too much occupied with the presence of the one woman
|
|
to reflect on the contrast between the two--a contrast that would
|
|
certainly have been striking to a calm observer. They were both tall,
|
|
and their eyes were on a level; but imagine Rosamond's infantine
|
|
blondness and wondrous crown of hair-plaits, with her pale-blue
|
|
dress of a fit and fashion so perfect that no dressmaker could look
|
|
at it without emotion, a large embroidered collar which it was
|
|
to be hoped all beholders would know the price of, her small hands
|
|
duly set off with rings, and that controlled self-consciousness
|
|
of manner which is the expensive substitute for simplicity.
|
|
|
|
"Thank you very much for allowing me to interrupt you,"
|
|
said Dorothea, immediately. "I am anxious to see Mr. Lydgate,
|
|
if possible, before I go home, and I hoped that you might possibly
|
|
tell me where I could find him, or even allow me to wait for him,
|
|
if you expect him soon."
|
|
|
|
"He is at the New Hospital," said Rosamond; "I am not sure how soon
|
|
he will come home. But I can send for him,"
|
|
|
|
"Will you let me go and fetch him?" said Will Ladislaw, coming forward.
|
|
He had already taken up his hat before Dorothea entered.
|
|
She colored with surprise, but put out her hand with a smile
|
|
of unmistakable pleasure, saying--
|
|
|
|
"I did not know it was you: I had no thought of seeing you here."
|
|
|
|
"May I go to the Hospital and tell Mr. Lydgate that you wish
|
|
to see him?" said Will.
|
|
|
|
"It would be quicker to send the carriage for him," said Dorothea,
|
|
"if you will be kind enough to give the message to the coachman."
|
|
|
|
Will was moving to the door when Dorothea, whose mind had flashed
|
|
in an instant over many connected memories, turned quickly and said,
|
|
"I will go myself, thank you. I wish to lose no time before getting
|
|
home again. I will drive to the Hospital and see Mr. Lydgate there.
|
|
Pray excuse me, Mrs. Lydgate. I am very much obliged to you."
|
|
|
|
Her mind was evidently arrested by some sudden thought, and she
|
|
left the room hardly conscious of what was immediately around her--
|
|
hardly conscious that Will opened the door for her and offered her his
|
|
arm to lead her to the carriage. She took the arm but said nothing.
|
|
Will was feeling rather vexed and miserable, and found nothing
|
|
to say on his side. He handed her into the carriage in silence,
|
|
they said good-by, and Dorothea drove away.
|
|
|
|
In the five minutes' drive to the Hospital she had time for some
|
|
reflections that were quite new to her. Her decision to go, and her
|
|
preoccupation in leaving the room, had come from the sudden sense
|
|
that there would be a sort of deception in her voluntarily allowing
|
|
any further intercourse between herself and Will which she was unable
|
|
to mention to her husband, and already her errand in seeking Lydgate
|
|
was a matter of concealment. That was all that had been explicitly
|
|
in her mind; but she had been urged also by a vague discomfort.
|
|
Now that she was alone in her drive, she heard the notes of the man's
|
|
voice and the accompanying piano, which she had not noted much
|
|
at the time, returning on her inward sense; and she found herself
|
|
thinking with some wonder that Will Ladislaw was passing his time
|
|
with Mrs. Lydgate in her husband's absence. And then she could
|
|
not help remembering that he had passed some time with her under
|
|
like circumstances, so why should there be any unfitness in the fact?
|
|
But Will was Mr. Casaubon's relative, and one towards whom she was
|
|
bound to show kindness. Still there had been signs which perhaps
|
|
she ought to have understood as implying that Mr. Casaubon did
|
|
not like his cousin's visits during his own absence. "Perhaps I
|
|
have been mistaken in many things," said poor Dorothea to herself,
|
|
while the tears came rolling and she had to dry them quickly.
|
|
She felt confusedly unhappy, and the image of Will which had been
|
|
so clear to her before was mysteriously spoiled. But the carriage
|
|
stopped at the gate of the Hospital. She was soon walking round
|
|
the grass plots with Lydgate, and her feelings recovered the strong
|
|
bent which had made her seek for this interview.
|
|
|
|
Will Ladislaw, meanwhile, was mortified, and knew the reason
|
|
of it clearly enough. His chances of meeting Dorothea were rare;
|
|
and here for the first time there had come a chance which had set
|
|
him at a disadvantage. It was not only, as it had been hitherto,
|
|
that she was not supremely occupied with him, but that she had seen
|
|
him under circumstances in which he might appear not to be supremely
|
|
occupied with her. He felt thrust to a new distance from her,
|
|
amongst the circles of Middlemarchers who made no part of her life.
|
|
But that was not his fault: of course, since he had taken his lodgings
|
|
in the town, he had been making as many acquaintances as he could,
|
|
his position requiring that he should know everybody and everything.
|
|
Lydgate was really better worth knowing than any one else in
|
|
the neighborhood, and he happened to have a wife who was musical
|
|
and altogether worth calling upon. Here was the whole history
|
|
of the situation in which Diana had descended too unexpectedly on
|
|
her worshipper. It was mortifying. Will was conscious that he should
|
|
not have been at Middlemarch but for Dorothea; and yet his position
|
|
there was threatening to divide him from her with those barriers
|
|
of habitual sentiment which are more fatal to the persistence
|
|
of mutual interest than all the distance between Rome and Britain.
|
|
Prejudices about rank and status were easy enough to defy in the
|
|
form of a tyrannical letter from Mr. Casaubon; but prejudices,
|
|
like odorous bodies, have a double existence both solid and subtle--
|
|
solid as the pyramids, subtle as the twentieth echo of an echo,
|
|
or as the memory of hyacinths which once scented the darkness.
|
|
And Will was of a temperament to feel keenly the presence
|
|
of subtleties: a man of clumsier perceptions would not have felt,
|
|
as he did, that for the first time some sense of unfitness
|
|
in perfect freedom with him had sprung up in Dorothea's mind,
|
|
and that their silence, as he conducted her to the carriage,
|
|
had had a chill in it. Perhaps Casaubon, in his hatred and jealousy,
|
|
had been insisting to Dorothea that Will had slid below her socially.
|
|
Confound Casaubon!
|
|
|
|
Will re-entered the drawing-room, took up his hat, and looking
|
|
irritated as he advanced towards Mrs. Lydgate, who had seated
|
|
herself at her work-table, said--
|
|
|
|
"It is always fatal to have music or poetry interrupted. May I
|
|
come another day and just finish about the rendering of `Lungi dal
|
|
caro bene'?"
|
|
|
|
"I shall be happy to be taught," said Rosamond. "But I am sure
|
|
you admit that the interruption was a very beautiful one. I quite
|
|
envy your acquaintance with Mrs. Casaubon. Is she very clever?
|
|
She looks as if she were."
|
|
|
|
"Really, I never thought about it," said Will, sulkily.
|
|
|
|
"That is just the answer Tertius gave me, when I first asked him
|
|
if she were handsome. What is it that you gentlemen are thinking
|
|
of when you are with Mrs. Casaubon?"
|
|
|
|
"Herself," said Will, not indisposed to provoke the charming
|
|
Mrs. Lydgate. "When one sees a perfect woman, one never thinks
|
|
of her attributes--one is conscious of her presence."
|
|
|
|
"I shall be jealous when Tertius goes to Lowick," said Rosamond,
|
|
dimpling, and speaking with aery lightness. "He will come back
|
|
and think nothing of me."
|
|
|
|
"That does not seem to have been the effect on Lydgate hitherto.
|
|
Mrs. Casaubon is too unlike other women for them to be compared
|
|
with her."
|
|
|
|
"You are a devout worshipper, I perceive. You often see her,
|
|
I suppose."
|
|
|
|
"No," said Will, almost pettishly. "Worship is usually a matter
|
|
of theory rather than of practice. But I am practising it to excess
|
|
just at this moment--I must really tear myself away.
|
|
|
|
"Pray come again some evening: Mr. Lydgate will like to hear
|
|
the music, and I cannot enjoy it so well without him."
|
|
|
|
When her husband was at home again, Rosamond said, standing in
|
|
front of him and holding his coat-collar with both her hands,
|
|
"Mr. Ladislaw was here singing with me when Mrs. Casaubon came in.
|
|
He seemed vexed. Do you think he disliked her seeing him at our house?
|
|
Surely your position is more than equal to his--whatever may be his
|
|
relation to the Casaubons."
|
|
|
|
"No, no; it must be something else if he were really vexed,
|
|
Ladislaw is a sort of gypsy; he thinks nothing of leather and prunella."
|
|
|
|
"Music apart, he is not always very agreeable. Do you like him?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes: I think he is a good fellow: rather miscellaneous and
|
|
bric-a-brac, but likable."
|
|
|
|
"Do you know, I think he adores Mrs. Casaubon."
|
|
|
|
"Poor devil!" said Lydgate, smiling and pinching his wife's ears.
|
|
|
|
Rosamond felt herself beginning to know a great deal of the world,
|
|
especially in discovering what when she was in her unmarried girlhood
|
|
had been inconceivable to her except as a dim tragedy in by-gone costumes--
|
|
that women, even after marriage, might make conquests and enslave men.
|
|
At that time young ladies in the country, even when educated at
|
|
Mrs. Lemon's, read little French literature later than Racine,
|
|
and public prints had not cast their present magnificent illumination
|
|
over the scandals of life. Still, vanity, with a woman's whole
|
|
mind and day to work in, can construct abundantly on slight hints,
|
|
especially on such a hint as the possibility of indefinite conquests.
|
|
How delightful to make captives from the throne of marriage with a
|
|
husband as crown-prince by your side--himself in fact a subject--
|
|
while the captives look up forever hopeless, losing their rest probably,
|
|
and if their appetite too, so much the better! But Rosamond's romance
|
|
turned at present chiefly on her crown-prince, and it was enough
|
|
to enjoy his assured subjection. When he said, "Poor devil I"
|
|
she asked, with playful curiosity--
|
|
|
|
"Why so?"
|
|
|
|
"Why, what can a man do when he takes to adoring one of you mermaids?
|
|
He only neglects his work and runs up bills."
|
|
|
|
"I am sure you do not neglect your work. You are always at the Hospital,
|
|
or seeing poor patients, or thinking about some doctor's quarrel;
|
|
and then at home you always want to pore over your microscope
|
|
and phials. Confess you like those things better than me."
|
|
|
|
"Haven't you ambition enough to wish that your husband should
|
|
be something better than a Middlemarch doctor?" said Lydgate,
|
|
letting his hands fall on to his wife's shoulders, and looking
|
|
at her with affectionate gravity. "I shall make you learn
|
|
my favorite bit from an old poet--
|
|
|
|
`Why should our pride make such a stir to be
|
|
And be forgot? What good is like to this,
|
|
To do worthy the writing, and to write
|
|
Worthy the reading and the worlds delight?'
|
|
|
|
What I want, Rosy, is to do worthy the writing,--and to write out
|
|
myself what I have done. A man must work, to do that, my pet."
|
|
|
|
"Of course, I wish you to make discoveries: no one could more wish
|
|
you to attain a high position in some better place than Middlemarch.
|
|
You cannot say that I have ever tried to hinder you from working.
|
|
But we cannot live like hermits. You are not discontented
|
|
with me, Tertius?"
|
|
|
|
"No, dear, no. I am too entirely contented."
|
|
|
|
"But what did Mrs. Casaubon want to say to you?"
|
|
|
|
"Merely to ask about her husband's health. But I think she is
|
|
going to be splendid to our New Hospital: I think she will give
|
|
us two hundred a-year."
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XLIV.
|
|
|
|
|
|
I would not creep along the coast but steer
|
|
Out in mid-sea, by guidance of the stars.
|
|
|
|
|
|
When Dorothea, walking round the laurel-planted plots of the New
|
|
Hospital with Lydgate, had learned from him that there were no signs
|
|
of change in Mr. Casaubon's bodily condition beyond the mental
|
|
sign of anxiety to know the truth about his illness, she was
|
|
silent for a few moments, wondering whether she had said or done
|
|
anything to rouse this new anxiety. Lydgate, not willing to let
|
|
slip an opportunity of furthering a favorite purpose, ventured to say--
|
|
|
|
"I don't know whether your or Mr.--Casaubon's attention has been drawn
|
|
to the needs of our New Hospital. Circumstances have made it seem
|
|
rather egotistic in me to urge the subject; but that is not my fault:
|
|
it is because there is a fight being made against it by the other
|
|
medical men. I think you are generally interested in such things,
|
|
for I remember that when I first had the pleasure of seeing you
|
|
at Tipton Grange before your marriage, you were asking me some
|
|
questions about the way in which the health of the poor was affected
|
|
by their miserable housing."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, indeed," said Dorothea, brightening. "I shall be quite
|
|
grateful to you if you will tell me how I can help to make things
|
|
a little better. Everything of that sort has slipped away from me
|
|
since I have been married. I mean," she said, after a moment's
|
|
hesitation, "that the people in our village are tolerably comfortable,
|
|
and my mind has been too much taken up for me to inquire further.
|
|
But here--in such a place as Middlemarch--there must be a great
|
|
deal to be done."
|
|
|
|
"There is everything to be done," said Lydgate, with abrupt energy.
|
|
"And this Hospital is a capital piece of work, due entirely to
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode's exertions, and in a great degree to his money.
|
|
But one man can't do everything in a scheme of this sort. Of course
|
|
he looked forward to help. And now there's a mean, petty feud
|
|
set up against the thing in the town, by certain persons who want
|
|
to make it a failure."
|
|
|
|
"What can be their reasons?" said Dorothea, with naive surprise.
|
|
|
|
"Chiefly Mr. Bulstrode's unpopularity, to begin with. Half the
|
|
town would almost take trouble for the sake of thwarting him.
|
|
In this stupid world most people never consider that a thing is good
|
|
to be done unless it is done by their own set. I had no connection
|
|
with Bulstrode before I came here. I look at him quite impartially,
|
|
and I see that he has some notions--that he has set things on foot--
|
|
which I can turn to good public purpose. If a fair number of the better
|
|
educated men went to work with the belief that their observations
|
|
might contribute to the reform of medical doctrine and practice,
|
|
we should soon see a change for the better. That's my point of view.
|
|
I hold that by refusing to work with Mr. Bulstrode I should be
|
|
turning my back on an opportunity of making my profession more
|
|
generally serviceable."
|
|
|
|
"I quite agree with you," said Dorothea, at once fascinated by
|
|
the situation sketched in Lydgate's words. "But what is there
|
|
against Mr. Bulstrode? I know that my uncle is friendly with him."
|
|
|
|
"People don't like his religious tone," said Lydgate, breaking off there.
|
|
|
|
"That is all the stronger reason for despising such an opposition,"
|
|
said Dorothea, looking at the affairs of Middlemarch by the light
|
|
of the great persecutions.
|
|
|
|
"To put the matter quite fairly, they have other objections to him:--
|
|
he is masterful and rather unsociable, and he is concerned with trade,
|
|
which has complaints of its own that I know nothing about.
|
|
But what has that to do with the question whether it would not be
|
|
a fine thing to establish here a more valuable hospital than any
|
|
they have in the county? The immediate motive to the opposition,
|
|
however, is the fact that Bulstrode has put the medical direction
|
|
into my hands. Of course I am glad of that. It gives me an
|
|
opportunity of doing some good work,--and I am aware that I have
|
|
to justify his choice of me. But the consequence is, that the
|
|
whole profession in Middlemarch have set themselves tooth and nail
|
|
against the Hospital, and not only refuse to cooperate themselves,
|
|
but try to blacken the whole affair and hinder subscriptions."
|
|
|
|
"How very petty!" exclaimed Dorothea, indignantly.
|
|
|
|
"I suppose one must expect to fight one's way: there is hardly
|
|
anything to be done without it. And the ignorance of people about
|
|
here is stupendous. I don't lay claim to anything else than having
|
|
used some opportunities which have not come within everybody's reach;
|
|
but there is no stifling the offence of being young, and a new-comer,
|
|
and happening to know something more than the old inhabitants.
|
|
Still, if I believe that I can set going a better method of treatment--
|
|
if I believe that I can pursue certain observations and inquiries
|
|
which may be a lasting benefit to medical practice, I should be
|
|
a base truckler if I allowed any consideration of personal comfort
|
|
to hinder me. And the course is all the clearer from there being
|
|
no salary in question to put my persistence in an equivocal light."
|
|
|
|
"I am glad you have told me this, Mr. Lydgate," said Dorothea, cordially.
|
|
"I feel sure I can help a little. I have some money, and don't know
|
|
what to do with it--that is often an uncomfortable thought to me.
|
|
I am sure I can spare two hundred a-year for a grand purpose like this.
|
|
How happy you must be, to know things that you feel sure will do
|
|
great good! I wish I could awake with that knowledge every morning.
|
|
There seems to be so much trouble taken that one can hardly see
|
|
the good of!"
|
|
|
|
There was a melancholy cadence in Dorothea's voice as she spoke
|
|
these last words. But she presently added, more cheerfully,
|
|
"Pray come to Lowick and tell us more of this. I will mention
|
|
the subject to Mr. Casaubon. I must hasten home now."
|
|
|
|
She did mention it that evening, and said that she should like to
|
|
subscribe two hundred a-year--she had seven hundred a-year as the
|
|
equivalent of her own fortune, settled on her at her marriage.
|
|
Mr. Casaubon made no objection beyond a passing remark that the
|
|
sum might be disproportionate in relation to other good objects,
|
|
but when Dorothea in her ignorance resisted that suggestion,
|
|
he acquiesced. He did not care himself about spending money,
|
|
and was not reluctant to give it. If he ever felt keenly any question
|
|
of money it was through the medium of another passion than the love
|
|
of material property.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea told him that she had seen Lydgate, and recited the gist
|
|
of her conversation with him about the Hospital. Mr. Casaubon did
|
|
not question her further, but he felt sure that she had wished to know
|
|
what had passed between Lydgate and himself "She knows that I know,"
|
|
said the ever-restless voice within; but that increase of tacit
|
|
knowledge only thrust further off any confidence between them.
|
|
He distrusted her affection; and what loneliness is more lonely
|
|
than distrust?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XLV.
|
|
|
|
|
|
It is the humor of many heads to extol the days of their forefathers,
|
|
and declaim against the wickedness of times present. Which
|
|
notwithstanding they cannot handsomely do, without the borrowed help
|
|
and satire of times past; condemning the vices of their own times,
|
|
by the expressions of vices in times which they commend, which cannot
|
|
but argue the community of vice in both. Horace, therefore, Juvenal,
|
|
and Persius, were no prophets, although their lines did seem to indigitate
|
|
and point at our times.--SIR THOMAS BROWNE: Pseudodoxia Epidemica.
|
|
|
|
|
|
That opposition to the New Fever Hospital which Lydgate had sketched
|
|
to Dorothea was, like other oppositions, to be viewed in many
|
|
different lights. He regarded it as a mixture of jealousy and
|
|
dunderheaded prejudice. Mr. Bulstrode saw in it not only medical
|
|
jealousy but a determination to thwart himself, prompted mainly
|
|
by a hatred of that vital religion of which he had striven to be
|
|
an effectual lay representative--a hatred which certainly found
|
|
pretexts apart from religion such as were only too easy to find
|
|
in the entanglements of human action. These might be called the
|
|
ministerial views. But oppositions have the illimitable range of
|
|
objections at command, which need never stop short at the boundary
|
|
of knowledge, but can draw forever on the vasts of ignorance.
|
|
What the opposition in Middlemarch said about the New Hospital
|
|
and its administration had certainly a great deal of echo in it,
|
|
for heaven has taken care that everybody shall not be an originator;
|
|
but there were differences which represented every social shade
|
|
between the polished moderation of Dr. Minchin and the trenchant
|
|
assertion of Mrs. Dollop, the landlady of the Tankard in Slaughter Lane.
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Dollop became more and more convinced by her own asseveration,
|
|
that Dr. Lydgate meant to let the people die in the Hospital,
|
|
if not to poison them, for the sake of cutting them up without
|
|
saying by your leave or with your leave; for it was a known "fac"
|
|
that he had wanted to cut up Mrs. Goby, as respectable a woman
|
|
as any in Parley Street, who had money in trust before her marriage--
|
|
a poor tale for a doctor, who if he was good for anything should know
|
|
what was the matter with you before you died, and not want to pry
|
|
into your inside after you were gone. If that was not reason,
|
|
Mrs. Dollop wished to know what was; but there was a prevalent feeling
|
|
in her audience that her opinion was a bulwark, and that if it were
|
|
overthrown there would be no limits to the cutting-up of bodies,
|
|
as had been well seen in Burke and Hare with their pitch-plaisters--
|
|
such a hanging business as that was not wanted in Middlemarch!
|
|
|
|
And let it not be supposed that opinion at the Tankard in Slaughter
|
|
Lane was unimportant to the medical profession: that old authentic
|
|
public-house--the original Tankard, known by the name of Dollop's--
|
|
was the resort of a great Benefit Club, which had some months before put
|
|
to the vote whether its long-standing medical man, "Doctor Gambit,"
|
|
should not be cashiered in favor of "this Doctor Lydgate," who was
|
|
capable of performing the most astonishing cures, and rescuing people
|
|
altogether given up by other practitioners. But the balance had been
|
|
turned against Lydgate by two members, who for some private reasons
|
|
held that this power of resuscitating persons as good as dead was an
|
|
equivocal recommendation, and might interfere with providential favors.
|
|
In the course of the year, however, there had been a change
|
|
in the public sentiment, of which the unanimity at Dollop's was an index
|
|
|
|
A good deal more than a year ago, before anything was known of
|
|
Lydgate's skill, the judgments on it had naturally been divided,
|
|
depending on a sense of likelihood, situated perhaps in the pit
|
|
of the stomach or in the pineal gland, and differing in its verdicts,
|
|
but not the less valuable as a guide in the total deficit of evidence.
|
|
Patients who had chronic diseases or whose lives had long been
|
|
worn threadbare, like old Featherstone's, had been at once inclined
|
|
to try him; also, many who did not like paying their doctor's bills,
|
|
thought agreeably of opening an account with a new doctor and
|
|
sending for him without stint if the children's temper wanted
|
|
a dose, occasions when the old practitioners were often crusty;
|
|
and all persons thus inclined to employ Lydgate held it likely
|
|
that he was clever. Some considered that he might do more than
|
|
others "where there was liver;"--at least there would be no harm
|
|
in getting a few bottles of "stuff" from him, since if these proved
|
|
useless it would still be possible to return to the Purifying Pills,
|
|
which kept you alive if they did not remove the yellowness.
|
|
But these were people of minor importance. Good Middlemarch families
|
|
were of course not going to change their doctor without reason shown;
|
|
and everybody who had employed Mr. Peacock did not feel obliged
|
|
to accept a new man merely in the character of his successor,
|
|
objecting that he was "not likely to be equal to Peacock."
|
|
|
|
But Lydgate had not been long in the town before there were
|
|
particulars enough reported of him to breed much more specific
|
|
expectations and to intensify differences into partisanship;
|
|
some of the particulars being of that impressive order of which the
|
|
significance is entirely hidden, like a statistical amount without
|
|
a standard of comparison, but with a note of exclamation at the end.
|
|
The cubic feet of oxygen yearly swallowed by a full-grown man--
|
|
what a shudder they might have created in some Middlemarch circles!
|
|
"Oxygen! nobody knows what that may be--is it any wonder the cholera
|
|
has got to Dantzic? And yet there are people who say quarantine is
|
|
no good!"
|
|
|
|
One of the facts quickly rumored was that Lydgate did not dispense drugs.
|
|
This was offensive both to the physicians whose exclusive distinction
|
|
seemed infringed on, and to the surgeon-apothecaries with whom he
|
|
ranged himself; and only a little while before, they might have counted
|
|
on having the law on their side against a man who without calling
|
|
himself a London-made M.D. dared to ask for pay except as a charge
|
|
on drugs. But Lydgate had not been experienced enough to foresee
|
|
that his new course would be even more offensive to the laity;
|
|
and to Mr. Mawmsey, an important grocer in the Top Market, who,
|
|
though not one of his patients, questioned him in an affable manner
|
|
on the subject, he was injudicious enough to give a hasty popular
|
|
explanation of his reasons, pointing out to Mr. Mawmsey that it
|
|
must lower the character of practitioners, and be a constant injury
|
|
to the public, if their only mode of getting paid for their work
|
|
was by their making out long bills for draughts, boluses, and mixtures.
|
|
|
|
"It is in that way that hard-working medical men may come to be almost
|
|
as mischievous as quacks," said Lydgate, rather thoughtlessly.
|
|
"To get their own bread they must overdose the king's lieges;
|
|
and that's a bad sort of treason, Mr. Mawmsey--undermines the
|
|
constitution in a fatal way."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Mawmsey was not only an overseer (it was about a question of
|
|
outdoor pay that he was having an interview with Lydgate), he was
|
|
also asthmatic and had an increasing family: thus, from a medical
|
|
point of view, as well as from his own, he was an important man;
|
|
indeed, an exceptional grocer, whose hair was arranged in a
|
|
flame-like pyramid, and whose retail deference was of the cordial,
|
|
encouraging kind--jocosely complimentary, and with a certain
|
|
considerate abstinence from letting out the full force of his mind.
|
|
It was Mr. Mawmsey's friendly jocoseness in questioning him which
|
|
had set the tone of Lydgate's reply. But let the wise be warned
|
|
against too great readiness at explanation: it multiplies the
|
|
sources of mistake, lengthening the sum for reckoners sure to go wrong.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate smiled as he ended his speech, putting his foot into
|
|
the stirrup, and Mr. Mawmsey laughed more than he would have
|
|
done if he had known who the king's lieges were, giving his
|
|
"Good morning, sir, good-morning, sir," with the air of one who saw
|
|
everything clearly enough. But in truth his views were perturbed.
|
|
For years he had been paying bills with strictly made items,
|
|
so that for every half-crown and eighteen-pence he was certain
|
|
something measurable had been delivered. He had done this with
|
|
satisfaction, including it among his responsibilities as a husband
|
|
and father, and regarding a longer bill than usual as a dignity
|
|
worth mentioning. Moreover, in addition to the massive benefit
|
|
of the drugs to "self and family," he had enjoyed the pleasure
|
|
of forming an acute judgment as to their immediate effects, so as
|
|
to give an intelligent statement for the guidance of Mr. Gambit--
|
|
a practitioner just a little lower in status than Wrench or Toller,
|
|
and especially esteemed as an accoucheur, of whose ability Mr. Mawmsey
|
|
had the poorest opinion on all other points, but in doctoring,
|
|
he was wont to say in an undertone, he placed Gambit above any of them.
|
|
|
|
Here were deeper reasons than the superficial talk of a new man,
|
|
which appeared still flimsier in the drawing-room over the shop,
|
|
when they were recited to Mrs. Mawmsey, a woman accustomed to be
|
|
made much of as a fertile mother,--generally under attendance more
|
|
or less frequent from Mr. Gambit, and occasionally having attacks
|
|
which required Dr. Minchin.
|
|
|
|
"Does this Mr. Lydgate mean to say there is no use in taking medicine?"
|
|
said Mrs. Mawmsey, who was slightly given to drawling. "I should
|
|
like him to tell me how I could bear up at Fair time, if I didn't
|
|
take strengthening medicine for a month beforehand. Think of what I
|
|
have to provide for calling customers, my dear!"--here Mrs. Mawmsey
|
|
turned to an intimate female friend who sat by--"a large veal pie--
|
|
a stuffed fillet--a round of beef--ham, tongue, et cetera,
|
|
et cetera! But what keeps me up best is the pink mixture,
|
|
not the brown. I wonder, Mr. Mawmsey, with your experience,
|
|
you could have patience to listen. I should have told him at once
|
|
that I knew a little better than that."
|
|
|
|
"No, no, no," said Mr. Mawmsey; "I was not going to tell him
|
|
my opinion. Hear everything and judge for yourself is my motto.
|
|
But he didn't know who he was talking to. I was not to be turned
|
|
on HIS finger. People often pretend to tell me things, when they
|
|
might as well say, `Mawmsey, you're a fool.' But I smile at it:
|
|
I humor everybody's weak place. If physic had done harm to self
|
|
and family, I should have found it out by this time."
|
|
|
|
The next day Mr. Gambit was told that Lydgate went about saying
|
|
physic was of no use.
|
|
|
|
"Indeed!" said he, lifting his eyebrows with cautious surprise.
|
|
(He was a stout husky man with a large ring on his fourth finger.)
|
|
"How will he cure his patients, then?"
|
|
|
|
"That is what I say," returned Mrs. Mawmsey, who habitually gave
|
|
weight to her speech by loading her pronouns. "Does HE suppose
|
|
that people will pay him only to come and sit with them and go
|
|
away again?"
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Mawmsey had had a great deal of sitting from Mr. Gambit,
|
|
including very full accounts of his own habits of body and other affairs;
|
|
but of course he knew there was no innuendo in her remark, since his
|
|
spare time and personal narrative had never been charged for.
|
|
So he replied, humorously--
|
|
|
|
"Well, Lydgate is a good-looking young fellow, you know."
|
|
|
|
"Not one that I would employ," said Mrs. Mawmsey. "OTHERS
|
|
may do as they please."
|
|
|
|
Hence Mr. Gambit could go away from the chief grocer's without
|
|
fear of rivalry, but not without a sense that Lydgate was one
|
|
of those hypocrites who try to discredit others by advertising
|
|
their own honesty, and that it might be worth some people's while
|
|
to show him up. Mr. Gambit, however, had a satisfactory practice,
|
|
much pervaded by the smells of retail trading which suggested
|
|
the reduction of cash payments to a balance. And he did not
|
|
think it worth his while to show Lydgate up until he knew how.
|
|
He had not indeed great resources of education, and had had to work
|
|
his own way against a good deal of professional contempt; but he made
|
|
none the worse accoucheur for calling the breathing apparatus "longs."
|
|
|
|
Other medical men felt themselves more capable. Mr. Toller shared the
|
|
highest practice in the town and belonged to an old Middlemarch family:
|
|
there were Tollers in the law and everything else above the line
|
|
of retail trade. Unlike our irascible friend Wrench, he had the
|
|
easiest way in the world of taking things which might be supposed
|
|
to annoy him, being a well-bred, quietly facetious man, who kept
|
|
a good house, was very fond of a little sporting when he could get it,
|
|
very friendly with Mr. Hawley, and hostile to Mr. Bulstrode.
|
|
It may seem odd that with such pleasant habits he should hare been
|
|
given to the heroic treatment, bleeding and blistering and starving
|
|
his patients, with a dispassionate disregard to his personal example;
|
|
but the incongruity favored the opinion of his ability among
|
|
his patients, who commonly observed that Mr. Toller had lazy manners,
|
|
but his treatment was as active as you could desire: no man,
|
|
said they, carried more seriousness into his profession: he was
|
|
a little slow in coming, but when he came, he DID something.
|
|
He was a great favorite in his own circle, and whatever he implied
|
|
to any one's disadvantage told doubly from his careless ironical tone.
|
|
|
|
He naturally got tired of smiling and saying, "Ah!" when he was told
|
|
that Mr. Peacock's successor did not mean to dispense medicines;
|
|
and Mr. Hackbutt one day mentioning it over the wine at a dinner-party,
|
|
Mr. Toller said, laughingly, "Dibbitts will get rid of his
|
|
stale drugs, then. I'm fond of little Dibbitts--I'm glad he's in luck."
|
|
|
|
"I see your meaning, Toller," said Mr. Hackbutt, "and I am entirely
|
|
of your opinion. I shall take an opportunity of expressing myself
|
|
to that effect. A medical man should be responsible for the
|
|
quality of the drugs consumed by his patients. That is the rationale
|
|
of the system of charging which has hitherto obtained;
|
|
and nothing is more offensive than this ostentation of reform,
|
|
where there is no real amelioration."
|
|
|
|
"Ostentation, Hackbutt?" said Mr. Toller, ironically. "I don't
|
|
see that. A man can't very well be ostentatious of what nobody
|
|
believes in. There's no reform in the matter: the question is,
|
|
whether the profit on the drugs is paid to the medical man by the
|
|
druggist or by the patient, and whether there shall be extra pay
|
|
under the name of attendance."
|
|
|
|
"Ah, to be sure; one of your damned new versions of old humbug,"
|
|
said Mr. Hawley, passing the decanter to Mr. Wrench.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Wrench, generally abstemious, often drank wine rather freely
|
|
at a party, getting the more irritable in consequence.
|
|
|
|
"As to humbug, Hawley," he said, "that's a word easy to fling about.
|
|
But what I contend against is the way medical men are fouling their
|
|
own nest, and setting up a cry about the country as if a general
|
|
practitioner who dispenses drugs couldn't be a gentleman. I throw
|
|
back the imputation with scorn. I say, the most ungentlemanly trick
|
|
a man can be guilty of is to come among the members of his profession
|
|
with innovations which are a libel on their time-honored procedure.
|
|
That is my opinion, and I am ready to maintain it against any one who
|
|
contradicts me." Mr. Wrench's voice had become exceedingly sharp.
|
|
|
|
"I can't oblige you there, Wrench," said Mr. Hawley, thrusting his
|
|
hands into his trouser-pockets.
|
|
|
|
"My dear fellow," said Mr. Toller, striking in pacifically! and
|
|
looking at Mr. Wrench, "the physicians have their toes trodden
|
|
on more than we have. If you come to dignity it is a question
|
|
for Minchin and Sprague."
|
|
|
|
"Does medical jurisprudence provide nothing against these infringements?"
|
|
said Mr. Hackbutt, with a disinterested desire to offer his lights.
|
|
"How does the law stand, eh, Hawley?"
|
|
|
|
"Nothing to be done there," said Mr. Hawley. "I looked into
|
|
it for Sprague. You'd only break your nose against a damned
|
|
judge's decision."
|
|
|
|
"Pooh! no need of law," said Mr. Toller. "So far as practice is
|
|
concerned the attempt is an absurdity. No patient will like it--
|
|
certainly not Peacock's, who have been used to depletion.
|
|
Pass the wine."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Toller's prediction was partly verified. If Mr. and Mrs. Mawmsey,
|
|
who had no idea of employing Lydgate, were made uneasy by his supposed
|
|
declaration against drugs, it was inevitable that those who called
|
|
him in should watch a little anxiously to see whether he did "use
|
|
all the means he might use" in the case. Even good Mr. Powderell,
|
|
who in his constant charity of interpretation was inclined to
|
|
esteem Lydgate the more for what seemed a conscientious pursuit
|
|
of a better plan, had his mind disturbed with doubts during his
|
|
wife's attack of erysipelas, and could not abstain from mentioning
|
|
to Lydgate that Mr. Peacock on a similar occasion had administered
|
|
a series of boluses which were not otherwise definable than by their
|
|
remarkable effect in bringing Mrs. Powderell round before Michaelmas
|
|
from an illness which had begun in a remarkably hot August.
|
|
At last, indeed, in the conflict between his desire not to hurt
|
|
Lydgate and his anxiety that no "means" should be lacking,
|
|
he induced his wife privately to take Widgeon's Purifying Bills,
|
|
an esteemed Middlemarch medicine, which arrested every disease
|
|
at the fountain by setting to work at once upon the blood.
|
|
This co-operative measure was not to be mentioned to Lydgate,
|
|
and Mr. Powderell himself had no certain reliance on it,
|
|
only hoping that it might be attended with a blessing.
|
|
|
|
But in this doubtful stage of Lydgate's introduction he was helped
|
|
by what we mortals rashly call good fortune. I suppose no doctor ever
|
|
came newly to a place without making cures that surprised somebody--
|
|
cures which may be called fortune's testimonials, and deserve as
|
|
much credit as the ten or printed kind. Various patients got well
|
|
while Lydgate was attending them, some even of dangerous illnesses;
|
|
and it was remarked that the new doctor with his new ways had at
|
|
least the merit of bringing people back from the brink of death.
|
|
The trash talked on such occasions was the more vexatious to Lydgate,
|
|
because it gave precisely the sort of prestige which an incompetent
|
|
and unscrupulous man would desire, and was sure to be imputed to him
|
|
by the simmering dislike of the other medical men as an encouragement
|
|
on his own part of ignorant puffing. But even his proud outspokenness
|
|
was checked by the discernment that it was as useless to fight
|
|
against the interpretations of ignorance as to whip the fog;
|
|
and "good fortune" insisted on using those interpretations.
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Larcher having just become charitably concerned about alarming
|
|
symptoms in her charwoman, when Dr. Minchin called, asked him to see
|
|
her then and there, and to give her a certificate for the Infirmary;
|
|
whereupon after examination he wrote a statement of the case as one
|
|
of tumor, and recommended the bearer Nancy Nash as an out-patient. Nancy,
|
|
calling at home on her way to the Infirmary, allowed the stay maker
|
|
and his wife, in whose attic she lodged, to read Dr. Minchin's paper,
|
|
and by this means became a subject of compassionate conversation
|
|
in the neighboring shops of Churchyard Lane as being afflicted with
|
|
a tumor at first declared to be as large and hard as a duck's egg,
|
|
but later in the day to be about the size of "your fist."
|
|
Most hearers agreed that it would have to be cut out, but one had
|
|
known of oil and another of "squitchineal" as adequate to soften
|
|
and reduce any lump in the body when taken enough of into the inside--
|
|
the oil by gradually "soopling," the squitchineal by eating away.
|
|
|
|
Meanwhile when Nancy presented herself at the Infirmary, it happened
|
|
to be one of Lydgate's days there. After questioning and examining her,
|
|
Lydgate said to the house-surgeon in an undertone, "It's not tumor:
|
|
it's cramp." He ordered her a blister and some steel mixture,
|
|
and told her to go home and rest, giving her at the same time a note
|
|
to Mrs. Larcher, who, she said, was her best employer, to testify
|
|
that she was in need of good food.
|
|
|
|
But by-and-by Nancy, in her attic, became portentously worse,
|
|
the supposed tumor having indeed given way to the blister, but only
|
|
wandered to another region with angrier pain. The staymaker's wife
|
|
went to fetch Lydgate, and he continued for a fortnight to attend Nancy
|
|
in her own home, until under his treatment she got quite well and went
|
|
to work again. But the case continued to be described as one of tumor
|
|
in Churchyard Lane and other streets--nay, by Mrs. Larcher also;
|
|
for when Lydgate's remarkable cure was mentioned to Dr. Minchin,
|
|
he naturally did not like to say, "The case was not one of tumor,
|
|
and I was mistaken in describing it as such," but answered,
|
|
"Indeed! ah! I saw it was a surgical case, not of a fatal kind."
|
|
He had been inwardly annoyed, however, when he had asked at the
|
|
Infirmary about the woman he had recommended two days before,
|
|
to hear from the house-surgeon, a youngster who was not sorry
|
|
to vex Minchin with impunity, exactly what had occurred:
|
|
he privately pronounced that it was indecent in a general practitioner
|
|
to contradict a physician's diagnosis in that open manner,
|
|
and afterwards agreed with Wrench that Lydgate was disagreeably
|
|
inattentive to etiquette. Lydgate did not make the affair a ground
|
|
for valuing himself or (very particularly) despising Minchin,
|
|
such rectification of misjudgments often happening among men
|
|
of equal qualifications. But report took up this amazing case
|
|
of tumor, not clearly distinguished from cancer, and considered
|
|
the more awful for being of the wandering sort; till much prejudice
|
|
against Lydgate's method as to drugs was overcome by the proof
|
|
of his marvellous skill in the speedy restoration of Nancy Nash
|
|
after she had been rolling and rolling in agonies from the presence
|
|
of a tumor both hard and obstinate, but nevertheless compelled to yield.
|
|
|
|
How could Lydgate help himself? It is offensive to tell a lady
|
|
when she is expressing her amazement at your skill, that she is
|
|
altogether mistaken and rather foolish in her amazement. And to have
|
|
entered into the nature of diseases would only have added to his
|
|
breaches of medical propriety. Thus he had to wince under a promise
|
|
of success given by that ignorant praise which misses every valid quality.
|
|
|
|
In the case of a more conspicuous patient, Mr. Borthrop Trumbull,
|
|
Lydgate was conscious of having shown himself something better than
|
|
an every-day doctor, though here too it was an equivocal advantage
|
|
that he won. The eloquent auctioneer was seized with pneumonia,
|
|
and having been a patient of Mr. Peacock's, sent for Lydgate,
|
|
whom he had expressed his intention to patronize. Mr Trumbull was
|
|
a robust man, a good subject for trying the expectant theory upon--
|
|
watching the course of an interesting disease when left as much
|
|
as possible to itself, so that the stages might be noted for future
|
|
guidance; and from the air with which he described his sensations
|
|
Lydgate surmised that he would like to be taken into his medical
|
|
man's confidence, and be represented as a partner in his own cure.
|
|
The auctioneer heard, without much surprise, that his was a
|
|
constitution which (always with due watching) might be left to itself,
|
|
so as to offer a beautiful example of a disease with all its phases
|
|
seen in clear delineation, and that he probably had the rare strength
|
|
of mind voluntarily to become the test of a rational procedure,
|
|
and thus make the disorder of his pulmonary functions a general
|
|
benefit to society.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Trumbull acquiesced at once, and entered strongly into the view
|
|
that an illness of his was no ordinary occasion for medical science.
|
|
|
|
"Never fear, sir; you are not speaking to one who is altogether ignorant
|
|
of the vis medicatrix," said he, with his usual superiority
|
|
of expression, made rather pathetic by difficulty of breathing.
|
|
And he went without shrinking through his abstinence from drugs,
|
|
much sustained by application of the thermometer which implied
|
|
the importance of his temperature, by the sense that he furnished
|
|
objects for the microscope, and by learning many new words which
|
|
seemed suited to the dignity of his secretions. For Lydgate
|
|
was acute enough to indulge him with a little technical talk.
|
|
|
|
It may be imagined that Mr. Trumbull rose from his couch with a
|
|
disposition to speak of an illness in which he had manifested the
|
|
strength of his mind as well as constitution; and he was not backward
|
|
in awarding credit to the medical man who had discerned the quality of
|
|
patient he had to deal with. The auctioneer was not an ungenerous man,
|
|
and liked to give others their due, feeling that he could afford it.
|
|
He had caught the words "expectant method," and rang chimes on this
|
|
and other learned phrases to accompany the assurance that Lydgate "knew
|
|
a thing or two more than the rest of the doctors--was far better versed
|
|
in the secrets of his profession than the majority of his compeers."
|
|
|
|
This had happened before the affair of Fred Vincy's illness had given
|
|
to Mr. Wrench's enmity towards Lydgate more definite personal ground.
|
|
The new-comer already threatened to be a nuisance in the shape
|
|
of rivalry, and was certainly a nuisance in the shape of practical
|
|
criticism or reflections on his hard-driven elders, who had had
|
|
something else to do than to busy themselves with untried notions.
|
|
His practice had spread in one or two quarters, and from the
|
|
first the report of his high family had led to his being pretty
|
|
generally invited, so that the other medical men had to meet him
|
|
at dinner in the best houses; and having to meet a man whom you
|
|
dislike is not observed always to end in a mutual attachment.
|
|
There was hardly ever so much unanimity among them as in the opinion
|
|
that Lydgate was an arrogant young fellow, and yet ready for the
|
|
sake of ultimately predominating to show a crawling subservience
|
|
to Bulstrode. That Mr. Farebrother, whose name was a chief flag of the
|
|
anti-Bulstrode party, always defended Lydgate and made a friend of him,
|
|
was referred to Farebrother's unaccountable way of fighting on both sides.
|
|
|
|
Here was plenty of preparation for the outburst of professional
|
|
disgust at the announcement of the laws Mr. Bulstrode was laying
|
|
down for the direction of the New Hospital, which were the more
|
|
exasperating because there was no present possibility of interfering
|
|
with his will and pleasure, everybody except Lord Medlicote
|
|
having refused help towards the building, on the ground that they
|
|
preferred giving to the Old Infirmary. Mr. Bulstrode met all
|
|
the expenses, and had ceased to be sorry that he was purchasing
|
|
the right to carry out his notions of improvement without hindrance
|
|
from prejudiced coadjutors; but he had had to spend large sums,
|
|
and the building had lingered. Caleb Garth had undertaken it,
|
|
had failed during its progress, and before the interior fittings
|
|
were begun had retired from the management of the business;
|
|
and when referring to the Hospital he often said that however
|
|
Bulstrode might ring if you tried him, he liked good solid carpentry
|
|
and masonry, and had a notion both of drains and chimneys. In fact,
|
|
the Hospital had become an object of intense interest to Bulstrode,
|
|
and he would willingly have continued to spare a large yearly sum that
|
|
he might rule it dictatorially without any Board; but he had another
|
|
favorite object which also required money for its accomplishment:
|
|
he wished to bay some land in the neighborhood of Middlemarch,
|
|
and therefore he wished to get considerable contributions towards
|
|
maintaining the Hospital. Meanwhile he framed his plan of management.
|
|
The Hospital was to be reserved for fever in all its forms;
|
|
Lydgate was to be chief medical superintendent, that he might have free
|
|
authority to pursue all comparative investigations which his studies,
|
|
particularly in Paris, had shown him the importance of, the other
|
|
medical visitors having a consultative influence, but no power to
|
|
contravene Lydgate's ultimate decisions; and the general management
|
|
was to be lodged exclusively in the hands of five directors associated
|
|
with Mr. Bulstrode, who were to have votes in the ratio of their
|
|
contributions, the Board itself filling up any vacancy in its numbers,
|
|
and no mob of small contributors being admitted to a share of government.
|
|
|
|
There was an immediate refusal on the part of every medical man
|
|
in the town to become a visitor at the Fever Hospital.
|
|
|
|
"Very well," said Lydgate to Mr. Bulstrode, "we have a capital
|
|
house-surgeon and dispenser, a clear-headed, neat-handed fellow;
|
|
we'll get Webbe from Crabsley, as good a country practitioner
|
|
as any of them, to come over twice a-week, and in case of any
|
|
exceptional operation, Protheroe will come from Brassing.
|
|
I must work the harder, that's all, and I have given up my post
|
|
at the Infirmary. The plan will flourish in spite of them,
|
|
and then they'll be glad to come in. Things can't last as they are:
|
|
there must be all sorts of reform soon, and then young fellows may
|
|
be glad to come and study here." Lydgate was in high spirits.
|
|
|
|
"I shall not flinch, you may depend upon it, Mr. Lydgate,"
|
|
said Mr. Bulstrode. "While I see you carrying out high intentions
|
|
with vigor, you shall have my unfailing support. And I have humble
|
|
confidence that the blessing which has hitherto attended my efforts
|
|
against the spirit of evil in this town will not be withdrawn.
|
|
Suitable directors to assist me I have no doubt of securing.
|
|
Mr. Brooke of Tipton has already given me his concurrence,
|
|
and a pledge to contribute yearly: he has not specified the sum--
|
|
probably not a great one. But he will be a useful member of
|
|
the board."
|
|
|
|
A useful member was perhaps to be defined as one who would
|
|
originate nothing, and always vote with Mr. Bulstrode.
|
|
|
|
The medical aversion to Lydgate was hardly disguised now. Neither
|
|
Dr. Sprague nor Dr. Minchin said that he disliked Lydgate's knowledge,
|
|
or his disposition to improve treatment: what they disliked was
|
|
his arrogance, which nobody felt to be altogether deniable. They implied
|
|
that he was insolent, pretentious, and given to that reckless innovation
|
|
for the sake of noise and show which was the essence of the charlatan.
|
|
|
|
The word charlatan once thrown on the air could not be let drop.
|
|
In those days the world was agitated about the wondrous doings of
|
|
Mr. St. John Long, "noblemen and gentlemen" attesting his extraction
|
|
of a fluid like mercury from the temples of a patient.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Toller remarked one day, smilingly, to Mrs. Taft, that "Bulstrode
|
|
had found a man to suit him in Lydgate; a charlatan in religion
|
|
is sure to like other sorts of charlatans."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, indeed, I can imagine," said Mrs. Taft, keeping the number
|
|
of thirty stitches carefully in her mind all the while; "there are
|
|
so many of that sort. I remember Mr. Cheshire, with his irons,
|
|
trying to make people straight when the Almighty had made them crooked."
|
|
|
|
"No, no," said Mr. Toller, "Cheshire was all right--all fair
|
|
and above board. But there's St. John Long--that's the kind of
|
|
fellow we call a charlatan, advertising cures in ways nobody knows
|
|
anything about: a fellow who wants to make a noise by pretending
|
|
to go deeper than other people. The other day he was pretending
|
|
to tap a man's brain and get quicksilver out of it."
|
|
|
|
"Good gracious! what dreadful trifling with people's constitutions!"
|
|
said Mrs. Taft.
|
|
|
|
After this, it came to be held in various quarters that Lydgate
|
|
played even with respectable constitutions for his own purposes,
|
|
and how much more likely that in his flighty experimenting he
|
|
should make sixes and sevens of hospital patients. Especially it
|
|
was to be expected, as the landlady of the Tankard had said,
|
|
that he would recklessly cut up their dead bodies. For Lydgate
|
|
having attended Mrs. Goby, who died apparently of a heart-disease
|
|
not very clearly expressed in the symptoms, too daringly asked
|
|
leave of her relatives to open the body, and thus gave an offence
|
|
quickly spreading beyond Parley Street, where that lady had long
|
|
resided on an income such as made this association of her body
|
|
with the victims of Burke and Hare a flagrant insult to her memory.
|
|
|
|
Affairs were in this stage when Lydgate opened the subject of the
|
|
Hospital to Dorothea. We see that be was bearing enmity and silly
|
|
misconception with much spirit, aware that they were partly created
|
|
by his good share of success.
|
|
|
|
"They will not drive me away," he said, talking confidentially
|
|
in Mr. Farebrother's study. "I have got a good opportunity here,
|
|
for the ends I care most about; and I am pretty sure to get
|
|
income enough for our wants. By-and-by I shall go on as quietly
|
|
as possible: I have no seductions now away from home and work.
|
|
And I am more and more convinced that it will be possible to
|
|
demonstrate the homogeneous origin of all the tissues. Raspail and
|
|
others are on the same track, and I have been losing time."
|
|
|
|
"I have no power of prophecy there," said Mr. Farebrother,
|
|
who had been puffing at his pipe thoughtfully while Lydgate talked;
|
|
"but as to the hostility in the town, you'll weather it if you
|
|
are prudent."
|
|
|
|
"How am I to be prudent?" said Lydgate, "I just do what comes
|
|
before me to do. I can't help people's ignorance and spite,
|
|
any more than Vesalius could. It isn't possible to square one's
|
|
conduct to silly conclusions which nobody can foresee."
|
|
|
|
"Quite true; I didn't mean that. I meant only two things. One is,
|
|
keep yourself as separable from Bulstrode as you can: of course,
|
|
you can go on doing good work of your own by his help; but don't
|
|
get tied. Perhaps it seems like personal feeling in me to say so--
|
|
and there's a good deal of that, I own--but personal feeling is not
|
|
always in the wrong if you boil it down to the impressions which make
|
|
it simply an opinion."
|
|
|
|
"Bulstrode is nothing to me," said Lydgate, carelessly, "except on
|
|
public grounds. As to getting very closely united to him, I am not
|
|
fond enough of him for that. But what was the other thing you meant?"
|
|
said Lydgate, who was nursing his leg as comfortably as possible,
|
|
and feeling in no great need of advice.
|
|
|
|
"Why, this. Take care--experto crede--take care not to get
|
|
hampered about money matters. I know, by a word you let fall one day,
|
|
that you don't like my playing at cards so much for money. You are
|
|
right enough there. But try and keep clear of wanting small sums
|
|
that you haven't got. I am perhaps talking rather superfluously;
|
|
but a man likes to assume superiority over himself, by holding up
|
|
his bad example and sermonizing on it."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate took Mr. Farebrother's hints very cordially, though he
|
|
would hardly have borne them from another man. He could not help
|
|
remembering that he had lately made some debts, but these had
|
|
seemed inevitable, and he had no intention now to do more than
|
|
keep house in a simple way. The furniture for which he owed
|
|
would not want renewing; nor even the stock of wine for a long while.
|
|
|
|
Many thoughts cheered him at that time--and justly. A man
|
|
conscious of enthusiasm for worthy aims is sustained under petty
|
|
hostilities by the memory of great workers who had to fight their
|
|
way not without wounds, and who hover in his mind as patron saints,
|
|
invisibly helping. At home, that same evening when he had been
|
|
chatting with Mr. Farebrother, he had his long legs stretched
|
|
on the sofa, his head thrown back, and his hands clasped behind
|
|
it according to his favorite ruminating attitude, while Rosamond
|
|
sat at the piano, and played one tune after another, of which her
|
|
husband only knew (like the emotional elephant he was!) that they
|
|
fell in with his mood as if they had been melodious sea-breezes.
|
|
|
|
There was something very fine in Lydgate's look just then,
|
|
and any one might have been encouraged to bet on his achievement.
|
|
In his dark eyes and on his mouth and brow there was that placidity
|
|
which comes from the fulness of contemplative thought--the mind
|
|
not searching, but beholding, and the glance seeming to be filled
|
|
with what is behind it.
|
|
|
|
Presently Rosamond left the piano and seated herself on a chair
|
|
close to the sofa and opposite her husband's face.
|
|
|
|
"Is that enough music for you, my lord?" she said, folding her hands
|
|
before her and putting on a little air of meekness.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, dear, if you are tired," said Lydgate, gently, turning his
|
|
eyes and resting them on her, but not otherwise moving.
|
|
Rosamond's presence at that moment was perhaps no more than a spoonful
|
|
brought to the lake, and her woman's instinct in this matter was not dull.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"What is absorbing you?" she said, leaning forward and bringing
|
|
her face nearer to his.
|
|
|
|
He moved his hands and placed them gently behind her shoulders.
|
|
|
|
"I am thinking of a great fellow, who was about as old as I am
|
|
three hundred years ago, and had already begun a new era in anatomy."
|
|
|
|
"I can't guess," said Rosamond, shaking her head. "We used to play
|
|
at guessing historical characters at Mrs. Lemon's, but not anatomists."
|
|
|
|
"I'll tell you. His name was Vesalius. And the only way he could get
|
|
to know anatomy as he did, was by going to snatch bodies at night,
|
|
from graveyards and places of execution."
|
|
|
|
"Oh!" said Rosamond, with a look of disgust on her pretty face,
|
|
"I am very glad you are not Vesalius. I should have thought he
|
|
might find some less horrible way than that."
|
|
|
|
"No, he couldn't," said Lydgate, going on too earnestly to take
|
|
much notice of her answer. "He could only get a complete skeleton
|
|
by snatching the whitened bones of a criminal from the gallows,
|
|
and burying them, and fetching them away by bits secretly, in the
|
|
dead of night."
|
|
|
|
"I hope he is not one of your great heroes," said Rosamond,
|
|
half playfully, half anxiously, "else I shall have you getting up
|
|
in the night to go to St. Peter's churchyard. You know how angry
|
|
you told me the people were about Mrs. Goby. You have enemies
|
|
enough already."
|
|
|
|
"So had Vesalius, Rosy. No wonder the medical fogies in Middlemarch
|
|
are jealous, when some of the greatest doctors living were fierce
|
|
upon Vesalius because they had believed in Galen, and he showed
|
|
that Galen was wrong. They called him a liar and a poisonous monster.
|
|
But the facts of the human frame were on his side; and so he got
|
|
the better of them."
|
|
|
|
"And what happened to him afterwards?" said Rosamond, with some interest.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, he had a good deal of fighting to the last. And they did
|
|
exasperate him enough at one time to make him burn a good deal
|
|
of his work. Then he got shipwrecked just as he was coming from
|
|
Jerusalem to take a great chair at Padua. He died rather miserably."
|
|
|
|
There was a moment's pause before Rosamond said, "Do you know,
|
|
Tertius, I often wish you had not been a medical man."
|
|
|
|
"Nay, Rosy, don't say that," said Lydgate, drawing her closer to him.
|
|
"That is like saying you wish you had married another man."
|
|
|
|
"Not at all; you are clever enough for anything: you might easily
|
|
have been something else. And your cousins at Quallingham all think
|
|
that you have sunk below them in your choice of a profession."
|
|
|
|
"The cousins at Quallingham may go to the devil!" said Lydgate,
|
|
with scorn. "It was like their impudence if they said anything
|
|
of the sort to you."
|
|
|
|
"Still," said Rosamond, "I do NOT think it is a nice profession,
|
|
dear." We know that she had much quiet perseverance in her opinion.
|
|
|
|
"It is the grandest profession in the world, Rosamond," said Lydgate,
|
|
gravely. "And to say that you love me without loving the medical man
|
|
in me, is the same sort of thing as to say that you like eating a peach
|
|
but don't like its flavor. Don't say that again, dear, it pains me."
|
|
|
|
"Very well, Doctor Grave-face," said Rosy, dimpling, "I will declare
|
|
in future that I dote on skeletons, and body-snatchers, and bits
|
|
of things in phials, and quarrels with everybody, that end in your
|
|
dying miserably."
|
|
|
|
"No, no, not so bad as that," said Lydgate, giving up remonstrance
|
|
and petting her resignedly.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XLVI.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Pues no podemos haber aquello que queremos, queramos aquello
|
|
que podremos.
|
|
|
|
Since we cannot get what we like, let us like what we can get.
|
|
--Spanish Proverb.
|
|
|
|
|
|
While Lydgate, safely married and with the Hospital under his command,
|
|
felt himself struggling for Medical Reform against Middlemarch,
|
|
Middlemarch was becoming more and more conscious of the national
|
|
struggle for another kind of Reform.
|
|
|
|
By the time that Lord John Russell's measure was being debated
|
|
in the House of Commons, there was a new political animation
|
|
in Middlemarch, and a new definition of parties which might show
|
|
a decided change of balance if a new election came. And there
|
|
were some who already predicted this event, declaring that a
|
|
Reform Bill would never be carried by the actual Parliament.
|
|
This was what Will Ladislaw dwelt on to Mr. Brooke as a reason
|
|
for congratulation that he had not yet tried his strength at the hustings.
|
|
|
|
"Things will grow and ripen as if it were a comet year," said Will.
|
|
"The public temper will soon get to a cometary heat, now the question
|
|
of Reform has set in. There is likely to be another election before long,
|
|
and by that time Middlemarch will have got more ideas into its head.
|
|
What we have to work at now is the `Pioneer' and political meetings."
|
|
|
|
"Quite right, Ladislaw; we shall make a new thing of opinion here,"
|
|
said Mr. Brooke. "Only I want to keep myself independent
|
|
about Reform, you know; I don't want to go too far. I want
|
|
to take up. Wilberforce's and Romilly's line, you know,
|
|
and work at Negro Emancipation, Criminal Law--that kind of thing.
|
|
But of course I should support Grey."
|
|
|
|
"If you go in for the principle of Reform, you must be prepared
|
|
to take what the situation offers," said Will. "If everybody
|
|
pulled for his own bit against everybody else, the whole question
|
|
would go to tatters."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, yes, I agree with you--I quite take that point of view.
|
|
I should put it in that light. I should support Grey, you know.
|
|
But I don't want to change the balance of the constitution, and I don't
|
|
think Grey would."
|
|
|
|
"But that is what the country wants,"-said Will. "Else there would
|
|
be no meaning in political unions or any other movement that knows
|
|
what it's about. It wants to have a House of Commons which is not
|
|
weighted with nominees of the landed class, but with representatives
|
|
of the other interests. And as to contending for a reform short
|
|
of that, it is like asking for a bit of an avalanche which has
|
|
already begun to thunder."
|
|
|
|
"That is fine, Ladislaw: that is the way to put it. Write that
|
|
down, now. We must begin to get documents about the feeling
|
|
of the country, as well as the machine-breaking and general distress."
|
|
|
|
"As to documents," said Will, "a two-inch card will hold plenty.
|
|
A few rows of figures are enough to deduce misery from, and a few
|
|
more will show the rate at which the political determination of the
|
|
people is growing."
|
|
|
|
"Good: draw that out a little more at length, Ladislaw. That is
|
|
an idea, now: write it out in the `Pioneer.' Put the figures and
|
|
deduce the misery, you know; and put the other figures and deduce--
|
|
and so on. You have a way of putting things. Burke, now:--when I
|
|
think of Burke, I can't help wishing somebody had a pocket-borough
|
|
to give you, Ladislaw. You'd never get elected, you know.
|
|
And we shall always want talent in the House: reform as we will,
|
|
we shall always want talent. That avalanche and the thunder, now,
|
|
was really a little like Burke. I want that sort of thing--not ideas,
|
|
you know, but a way of putting them."
|
|
|
|
"Pocket-boroughs would be a fine thing," said Ladislaw, "if they
|
|
were always in the right pocket, and there were always a Burke
|
|
at hand."
|
|
|
|
Will was not displeased with that complimentary comparison,
|
|
even from Mr. Brooke; for it is a little too trying to human flesh
|
|
to be conscious of expressing one's self better than others and
|
|
never to have it noticed, and in the general dearth of admiration
|
|
for the right thing, even a chance bray of applause falling
|
|
exactly in time is rather fortifying. Will felt that his literary
|
|
refinements were usually beyond the limits of Middlemarch perception;
|
|
nevertheless, he was beginning thoroughly to like the work
|
|
of which when he began he had said to himself rather languidly,
|
|
"Why not?"--and he studied the political situation with as ardent
|
|
an interest as he had ever given to poetic metres or mediaevalism.
|
|
It is undeniable that but for the desire to be where Dorothea was,
|
|
and perhaps the want of knowing what else to do, Will would not
|
|
at this time have been meditating on the needs of the English
|
|
people or criticising English statesmanship: he would probably
|
|
have been rambling in Italy sketching plans for several dramas,
|
|
trying prose and finding it too jejune, trying verse and finding
|
|
it too artificial, beginning to copy "bits" from old pictures,
|
|
leaving off because they were "no good," and observing that, after all,
|
|
self-culture was the principal point; while in politics he would
|
|
have been sympathizing warmly with liberty and progress in general.
|
|
Our sense of duty must often wait for some work which shall take
|
|
the place of dilettanteism and make us feel that the quality
|
|
of our action is not a matter of indifference.
|
|
|
|
Ladislaw had now accepted his bit of work, though it was not that
|
|
indeterminate loftiest thing which he had once dreamed of as alone
|
|
worthy of continuous effort. His nature warmed easily in the presence
|
|
of subjects which were visibly mixed with life and action, and the
|
|
easily stirred rebellion in him helped the glow of public spirit.
|
|
In spite of Mr. Casaubon and the banishment from Lowick, he was
|
|
rather happy; getting a great deal of fresh knowledge in a vivid
|
|
way and for practical purposes, and making the "Pioneer" celebrated
|
|
as far as Brassing (never mind the smallness of the area; the writing
|
|
was not worse than much that reaches the four corners of the earth).
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke was occasionally irritating; but Will's impatience was
|
|
relieved by the division of his time between visits to the Grange
|
|
and retreats to his Middlemarch lodgings, which gave variety
|
|
to his life.
|
|
|
|
"Shift the pegs a little," he said to himself, "and Mr. Brooke
|
|
might be in the Cabinet, while I was Under-Secretary. That is
|
|
the common order of things: the little waves make the large ones
|
|
and are of the same pattern. I am better here than in the sort
|
|
of life Mr. Casaubon would have trained me for, where the doing would
|
|
be all laid down by a precedent too rigid for me to react upon.
|
|
I don't care for prestige or high pay."
|
|
|
|
As Lydgate had said of him, he was a sort of gypsy, rather enjoying
|
|
the sense of belonging to no class; he had a feeling of romance
|
|
in his position, and a pleasant consciousness of creating a little
|
|
surprise wherever he went. That sort of enjoyment had been disturbed
|
|
when he had felt some new distance between himself and Dorothea
|
|
in their accidental meeting at Lydgate's, and his irritation had gone
|
|
out towards Mr. Casaubon, who had declared beforehand that Will
|
|
would lose caste. "I never had any caste," he would have said,
|
|
if that prophecy had been uttered to him, and the quick blood
|
|
would have come and gone like breath in his transparent skin.
|
|
But it is one thing to like defiance, and another thing to like
|
|
its consequences.
|
|
|
|
Meanwhile, the town opinion about the new editor of the "Pioneer"
|
|
was tending to confirm Mr. Casaubon's view. Will's relationship in
|
|
that distinguished quarter did not, like Lydgate's high connections,
|
|
serve as an advantageous introduction: if it was rumored that young
|
|
Ladislaw was Mr. Casaubon's nephew or cousin, it was also rumored
|
|
that "Mr. Casaubon would have nothing to do with him."
|
|
|
|
"Brooke has taken him up," said Mr. Hawley, "because that is what
|
|
no man in his senses could have expected. Casaubon has devilish
|
|
good reasons, you may be sure, for turning the cold shoulder on
|
|
a young fellow whose bringing-up he paid for. Just like Brooke--
|
|
one of those fellows who would praise a cat to sell a horse."
|
|
|
|
And some oddities of Will's, more or less poetical, appeared to support
|
|
Mr. Keck, the editor of the "Trumpet," in asserting that Ladislaw,
|
|
if the truth were known, was not only a Polish emissary but crack-brained,
|
|
which accounted for the preternatural quickness and glibness of his
|
|
speech when he got on to a platform--as he did whenever he had
|
|
an opportunity, speaking with a facility which cast reflections on
|
|
solid Englishmen generally. It was disgusting to Keck to see a strip
|
|
of a fellow, with light curls round his head, get up and speechify
|
|
by the hour against institutions "which had existed when he was
|
|
in his cradle." And in a leading article of the "Trumpet," Keck
|
|
characterized Ladislaw's speech at a Reform meeting as "the violence
|
|
of an energumen--a miserable effort to shroud in the brilliancy
|
|
of fireworks the daring of irresponsible statements and the poverty
|
|
of a knowledge which was of the cheapest and most recent description."
|
|
|
|
"That was a rattling article yesterday, Keck," said Dr. Sprague,
|
|
with sarcastic intentions. "But what is an energumen?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, a term that came up in the French Revolution," said Keck.
|
|
|
|
This dangerous aspect of Ladislaw was strangely contrasted with
|
|
other habits which became matter of remark. He had a fondness,
|
|
half artistic, half affectionate, for little children--the smaller
|
|
they were on tolerably active legs, and the funnier their clothing,
|
|
the better Will liked to surprise and please them. We know
|
|
that in Rome he was given to ramble about among the poor people,
|
|
and the taste did not quit him in Middlemarch.
|
|
|
|
He had somehow picked up a troop of droll children, little hatless
|
|
boys with their galligaskins much worn and scant shirting to hang out,
|
|
little girls who tossed their hair out of their eyes to look at him,
|
|
and guardian brothers at the mature age of seven. This troop he
|
|
had led out on gypsy excursions to Halsell Wood at nutting-time,
|
|
and since the cold weather had set in he had taken them on a clear
|
|
day to gather sticks for a bonfire in the hollow of a hillside,
|
|
where he drew out a small feast of gingerbread for them, and improvised
|
|
a Punch-and-Judy drama with some private home-made puppets.
|
|
Here was one oddity. Another was, that in houses where he
|
|
got friendly, he was given to stretch himself at full length on the
|
|
rug while he talked, and was apt to be discovered in this attitude
|
|
by occasional callers for whom such an irregularity was likely
|
|
to confirm the notions of his dangerously mixed blood and general laxity.
|
|
|
|
But Will's articles and speeches naturally recommended him in
|
|
families which the new strictness of party division had marked
|
|
off on the side of Reform. He was invited to Mr. Bulstrode's;
|
|
but here he could not lie down on the rug, and Mrs. Bulstrode felt
|
|
that his mode of talking about Catholic countries, as if there
|
|
were any truce with Antichrist, illustrated the usual tendency
|
|
to unsoundness in intellectual men.
|
|
|
|
At Mr. Farebrother's, however, whom the irony of events had brought
|
|
on the same side with Bulstrode in the national movement, Will became
|
|
a favorite with the ladies; especially with little Miss Noble,
|
|
whom it was one of his oddities to escort when he met her in the
|
|
street with her little basket, giving her his arm in the eyes of
|
|
the town, and insisting on going with her to pay some call where she
|
|
distributed her small filchings from her own share of sweet things.
|
|
|
|
But the house where he visited oftenest and lay most on the rug
|
|
was Lydgate's. The two men were not at all alike, but they
|
|
agreed none the worse. Lydgate was abrupt but not irritable,
|
|
taking little notice of megrims in healthy people; and Ladislaw
|
|
did not usually throw away his susceptibilities on those who took
|
|
no notice of them. With Rosamond, on the other hand, he pouted and
|
|
was wayward--nay, often uncomplimentary, much to her inward surprise;
|
|
nevertheless he was gradually becoming necessary to her entertainment
|
|
by his companionship in her music, his varied talk, and his
|
|
freedom from the grave preoccupation which, with all her husband's
|
|
tenderness and indulgence, often made his manners unsatisfactory
|
|
to her, and confirmed her dislike of the medical profession.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate, inclined to be sarcastic on the superstitious faith of the people
|
|
in the efficacy of "the bill," while nobody cared about the low state
|
|
of pathology, sometimes assailed Will with troublesome questions.
|
|
One evening in March, Rosamond in her cherry-colored dress with
|
|
swansdown trimming about the throat sat at the tea-table; Lydgate,
|
|
lately come in tired from his outdoor work, was seated sideways
|
|
on an easy-chair by the fire with one leg over the elbow, his brow
|
|
looking a little troubled as his eyes rambled over the columns of
|
|
the "Pioneer," while Rosamond, having noticed that he was perturbed,
|
|
avoided looking at him, and inwardly thanked heaven that she herself
|
|
had not a moody disposition. Will Ladislaw was stretched on the rug
|
|
contemplating the curtain-pole abstractedly, and humming very low
|
|
the notes of "When first I saw thy face;" while the house spaniel,
|
|
also stretched out with small choice of room, looked from between
|
|
his paws at the usurper of the rug with silent but strong objection.
|
|
|
|
Rosamond bringing Lydgate his cup of tea, he threw down the paper,
|
|
and said to Will, who had started up and gone to the table--
|
|
|
|
"It's no use your puffing Brooke as a reforming landlord, Ladislaw:
|
|
they only pick the more holes in his coat in the `Trumpet.'"
|
|
|
|
"No matter; those who read the `Pioneer' don't read the `Trumpet,'"
|
|
said Will, swallowing his tea and walking about. "Do you suppose the
|
|
public reads with a view to its own conversion? We should have a witches'
|
|
brewing with a vengeance then--`Mingle, mingle, mingle, mingle, You
|
|
that mingle may'--and nobody would know which side he was going to take."
|
|
|
|
"Farebrother says, he doesn't believe Brooke would get elected
|
|
if the opportunity came: the very men who profess to be for him
|
|
would bring another member out of the bag at the right moment."
|
|
|
|
"There's no harm in trying. It's good to have resident members."
|
|
|
|
"Why?" said Lydgate, who was much given to use that inconvenient
|
|
word in a curt tone.
|
|
|
|
"They represent the local stupidity better," said Will,
|
|
laughing, and shaking his curls; "and they are kept
|
|
on their best behavior in the neighborhood. Brooke is
|
|
not a bad fellow, but he has done some good things on
|
|
his estate that he never would have done but for this Parliamentary bite."
|
|
|
|
"He's not fitted to be a public man," said Lydgate,
|
|
with contemptuous decision. "He would disappoint everybody
|
|
who counted on him: I can see that at the Hospital.
|
|
Only, there Bulstrode holds the reins and drives him."
|
|
|
|
"That depends on how you fix your standard of public men," said Will.
|
|
"He's good enough for the occasion: when the people have made up
|
|
their mind as they are making it up now, they don't want a man--
|
|
they only want a vote."
|
|
|
|
"That is the way with you political writers, Ladislaw--crying up
|
|
a measure as if it were a universal cure, and crying up men
|
|
who are a part of the very disease that wants curing."
|
|
|
|
"Why not? Men may help to cure themselves off the face of the land
|
|
without knowing it," said Will, who could find reasons impromptu,
|
|
when he had not thought of a question beforehand.
|
|
|
|
"That is no excuse for encouraging the superstitious exaggeration
|
|
of hopes about this particular measure, helping the cry to swallow
|
|
it whole and to send up voting popinjays who are good for nothing
|
|
but to carry it. You go against rottenness, and there is nothing
|
|
more thoroughly rotten than making people believe that society can
|
|
be cured by a political hocus-pocus."
|
|
|
|
"That's very fine, my dear fellow. But your cure must begin somewhere,
|
|
and put it that a thousand things which debase a population can
|
|
never be reformed without this particular reform to begin with.
|
|
Look what Stanley said the other day--that the House had been
|
|
tinkering long enough at small questions of bribery, inquiring whether
|
|
this or that voter has had a guinea when everybody knows that the
|
|
seats have been sold wholesale. Wait for wisdom and conscience
|
|
in public agents--fiddlestick! The only conscience we can trust
|
|
to is the massive sense of wrong in a class, and the best wisdom
|
|
that will work is the wisdom of balancing claims. That's my text--
|
|
which side is injured? I support the man who supports their claims;
|
|
not the virtuous upholder of the wrong."
|
|
|
|
"That general talk about a particular case is mere question
|
|
begging, Ladislaw. When I say, I go in for the dose that cures,
|
|
it doesn't follow that I go in for opium in a given case of gout."
|
|
|
|
"I am not begging the question we are upon--whether we are
|
|
to try for nothing till we find immaculate men to work with.
|
|
Should you go on that plan? If there were one man who would carry
|
|
you a medical reform and another who would oppose it, should you
|
|
inquire which had the better motives or even the better brains?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, of course," said Lydgate, seeing himself checkmated by a move
|
|
which he had often used himself, "if one did not work with such men
|
|
as are at hand, things must come to a dead-lock. Suppose the worst
|
|
opinion in the town about Bulstrode were a true one, that would
|
|
not make it less true that he has the sense and the resolution
|
|
to do what I think ought to be done in the matters I know and care
|
|
most about; but that is the only ground on which I go with him,"
|
|
Lydgate added rather proudly, bearing in mind Mr. Farebrother's remarks.
|
|
"He is nothing to me otherwise; I would not cry him up on any
|
|
personal ground--I would keep clear of that."
|
|
|
|
"Do you mean that I cry up Brooke on any personal ground?" said Will
|
|
Ladislaw, nettled, and turning sharp round. For the first time he felt
|
|
offended with Lydgate; not the less so, perhaps, because he would have
|
|
declined any close inquiry into the growth of his relation to Mr. Brooke.
|
|
|
|
"Not at all," said Lydgate, "I was simply explaining my own action.
|
|
I meant that a man may work for a special end with others whose
|
|
motives and general course are equivocal, if he is quite sure
|
|
of his personal independence, and that he is not working for his
|
|
private interest--either place or money."
|
|
|
|
"Then, why don't you extend your liberality to others?" said Will,
|
|
still nettled. "My personal independence is as important to me as yours
|
|
is to you. You have no more reason to imagine that I have personal
|
|
expectations from Brooke, than I have to imagine that you have personal
|
|
expectations from Bulstrode. Motives are points of honor, I suppose--
|
|
nobody can prove them. But as to money and place in the world."
|
|
Will ended, tossing back his head, "I think it is pretty clear
|
|
that I am not determined by considerations of that sort."
|
|
|
|
"You quite mistake me, Ladislaw," said Lydgate, surprised. He had
|
|
been preoccupied with his own vindication, and had been blind
|
|
to what Ladislaw might infer on his own account. "I beg your
|
|
pardon for unintentionally annoying you. In fact, I should rather
|
|
attribute to you a romantic disregard of your own worldly interests.
|
|
On the political question, I referred simply to intellectual bias."
|
|
|
|
"How very unpleasant you both are this evening!" said Rosamond.
|
|
"I cannot conceive why money should have been referred to.
|
|
Polities and Medicine are sufficiently disagreeable to quarrel upon.
|
|
You can both of you go on quarrelling with all the world and with each
|
|
other on those two topics."
|
|
|
|
Rosamond looked mildly neutral as she said this, rising to ring
|
|
the bell, and then crossing to her work-table.
|
|
|
|
"Poor Rosy!" said Lydgate, putting out his hand to her as she
|
|
was passing him. "Disputation is not amusing to cherubs.
|
|
Have some music. Ask Ladislaw to sing with you."
|
|
|
|
When Will was gone Rosamond said to her husband, "What put you
|
|
out of temper this evening, Tertius?"
|
|
|
|
"Me? It was Ladislaw who was out of temper. He is like a bit
|
|
of tinder."
|
|
|
|
"But I mean, before that. Something had vexed you before you came in,
|
|
you looked cross. And that made you begin to dispute with Mr. Ladislaw.
|
|
You hurt me very much when you look so, Tertius."
|
|
|
|
"Do I? Then I am a brute," said Lydgate, caressing her penitently.
|
|
|
|
"What vexed you?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, outdoor things--business." It was really a letter insisting
|
|
on the payment of a bill for furniture. But Rosamond was expecting
|
|
to have a baby, and Lydgate wished to save her from any perturbation.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XLVII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Was never true love loved in vain,
|
|
For truest love is highest gain.
|
|
No art can make it: it must spring
|
|
Where elements are fostering.
|
|
So in heaven's spot and hour
|
|
Springs the little native flower,
|
|
Downward root and upward eye,
|
|
Shapen by the earth and sky.
|
|
|
|
|
|
It happened to be on a Saturday evening that Will Ladislaw had that
|
|
little discussion with Lydgate. Its effect when he went to his own
|
|
rooms was to make him sit up half the night, thinking over again,
|
|
under a new irritation, all that he had before thought of his having
|
|
settled in Middlemarch and harnessed himself with Mr. Brooke.
|
|
Hesitations before he had taken the step had since turned into
|
|
susceptibility to every hint that he would have been wiser not
|
|
to take it; and hence came his heat towards Lydgate--a heat which
|
|
still kept him restless. Was he not making a fool of himself?--
|
|
and at a time when he was more than ever conscious of being something
|
|
better than a fool? And for what end?
|
|
|
|
Well, for no definite end. True, he had dreamy visions of possibilities:
|
|
there is no human being who having both passions and thoughts does
|
|
not think in consequence of his passions--does not find images rising
|
|
in his mind which soothe the passion with hope or sting it with dread.
|
|
But this, which happens to us all, happens to some with a wide difference;
|
|
and Will was not one of those whose wit "keeps the roadway:"
|
|
he had his bypaths where there were little joys of his own choosing,
|
|
such as gentlemen cantering on the highroad might have thought
|
|
rather idiotic. The way in which he made a sort of happiness for
|
|
himself out of his feeling for Dorothea was an example of this.
|
|
It may seem strange, but it is the fact, that the ordinary vulgar
|
|
vision of which Mr. Casaubon suspected him--namely, that Dorothea
|
|
might become a widow, and that the interest he had established
|
|
in her mind might turn into acceptance of him as a husband--
|
|
had no tempting, arresting power over him; he did not live
|
|
in the scenery of such an event, and follow it out, as we all do
|
|
with that imagined "otherwise" which is our practical heaven.
|
|
It was not only that he was unwilling to entertain thoughts which
|
|
could be accused of baseness, and was already uneasy in the sense
|
|
that he had to justify himself from the charge of ingratitude--
|
|
the latent consciousness of many other barriers between himself
|
|
and Dorothea besides the existence of her husband, had helped
|
|
to turn away his imagination from speculating on what might befall
|
|
Mr. Casaubon. And there were yet other reasons. Will, we know,
|
|
could not bear the thought of any flaw appearing in his crystal:
|
|
he was at once exasperated and delighted by the calm freedom
|
|
with which Dorothea looked at him and spoke to him, and there
|
|
was something so exquisite in thinking of her just as she was,
|
|
that he could not long for a change which must somehow change her.
|
|
Do we not shun the street version of a fine melody?--or shrink from
|
|
the news that the rarity--some bit of chiselling or engraving perhaps--
|
|
which we have dwelt on even with exultation in the trouble it has
|
|
cost us to snatch glimpses of it, is really not an uncommon thing,
|
|
and may be obtained as an every-day possession? Our good depends
|
|
on the quality and breadth of our emotion; and to Will, a creature
|
|
who cared little for what are called the solid things of life and
|
|
greatly for its subtler influences, to have within him such a feeling
|
|
as he had towards Dorothea, was like the inheritance of a fortune.
|
|
What others might have called the futility of his passion, made an
|
|
additional delight for his imagination: he was conscious of a
|
|
generous movement, and of verifying in his own experience that higher
|
|
love-poetry which had charmed his fancy. Dorothea, he said to himself,
|
|
was forever enthroned in his soul: no other woman could sit higher
|
|
than her footstool; and if he could have written out in immortal
|
|
syllables the effect she wrought within him, he might have boasted
|
|
after the example of old Drayton, that,--
|
|
|
|
"Queens hereafter might be glad to live
|
|
Upon the alms of her superfluous praise."
|
|
|
|
But this result was questionable. And what else could he do
|
|
for Dorothea? What was his devotion worth to her? It was impossible
|
|
to tell. He would not go out of her reach. He saw no creature among
|
|
her friends to whom he could believe that she spoke with the same simple
|
|
confidence as to him. She had once said that she would like him to stay;
|
|
and stay he would, whatever fire-breathing dragons might hiss around her.
|
|
|
|
This had always been the conclusion of Will's hesitations.
|
|
But he was not without contradictoriness and rebellion even towards
|
|
his own resolve. He had often got irritated, as he was on this
|
|
particular night, by some outside demonstration that his public
|
|
exertions with Mr. Brooke as a chief could not seem as heroic
|
|
as he would like them to be, and this was always associated with
|
|
the other ground of irritation--that notwithstanding his sacrifice
|
|
of dignity for Dorothea's sake, he could hardly ever see her.
|
|
Whereupon, not being able to contradict these unpleasant facts,
|
|
he contradicted his own strongest bias and said, "I am a fool."
|
|
|
|
Nevertheless, since the inward debate necessarily turned on Dorothea,
|
|
he ended, as he had done before, only by getting a livelier sense
|
|
of what her presence would be to him; and suddenly reflecting that
|
|
the morrow would be Sunday, he determined to go to Lowick Church
|
|
and see her. He slept upon that idea, but when he was dressing
|
|
in the rational morning light, Objection said--
|
|
|
|
"That will be a virtual defiance of Mr. Casaubon's prohibition
|
|
to visit Lowick, and Dorothea will be displeased."
|
|
|
|
"Nonsense!" argued Inclination, "it would be too monstrous
|
|
for him to hinder me from going out to a pretty country church
|
|
on a spring morning. And Dorothea will be glad."
|
|
|
|
"It will be clear to Mr. Casaubon that you have come either to annoy
|
|
him or to see Dorothea."
|
|
|
|
"It is not true that I go to annoy him, and why should I not go
|
|
to see Dorothea? Is he to have everything to himself and be
|
|
always comfortable? Let him smart a little, as other people are
|
|
obliged to do. I have always liked the quaintness of the church and
|
|
congregation; besides, I know the Tuckers: I shall go into their pew."
|
|
|
|
Having silenced Objection by force of unreason, Will walked to
|
|
Lowick as if he had been on the way to Paradise, crossing Halsell
|
|
Common and skirting the wood, where the sunlight fell broadly under
|
|
the budding boughs, bringing out the beauties of moss and lichen,
|
|
and fresh green growths piercing the brown. Everything seemed to know
|
|
that it was Sunday, and to approve of his going to Lowick Church.
|
|
Will easily felt happy when nothing crossed his humor, and by this
|
|
time the thought of vexing Mr. Casaubon had become rather amusing
|
|
to him, making his face break into its merry smile, pleasant to see
|
|
as the breaking of sunshine on the water--though the occasion was
|
|
not exemplary. But most of us are apt to settle within ourselves
|
|
that the man who blocks our way is odious, and not to mind
|
|
causing him a little of the disgust which his personality excites
|
|
in ourselves. Will went along with a small book under his arm and
|
|
a hand in each side-pocket, never reading, but chanting a little,
|
|
as he made scenes of what would happen in church and coming out.
|
|
He was experimenting in tunes to suit some words of his own,
|
|
sometimes trying a ready-made melody, sometimes improvising.
|
|
The words were not exactly a hymn, but they certainly fitted his
|
|
Sunday experience:--
|
|
|
|
"O me, O me, what frugal cheer
|
|
My love doth feed upon!
|
|
A touch, a ray, that is not here,
|
|
A shadow that is gone:
|
|
|
|
"A dream of breath that might be near,
|
|
An inly-echoed tone,
|
|
The thought that one may think me dear,
|
|
The place where one was known,
|
|
|
|
"The tremor of a banished fear,
|
|
An ill that was not done--
|
|
O me, O me, what frugal cheer
|
|
My love doth feed upon!"
|
|
|
|
Sometimes, when he took off his hat, shaking his head backward,
|
|
and showing his delicate throat as he sang, he looked like an incarnation
|
|
of the spring whose spirit filled the air--a bright creature,
|
|
abundant in uncertain promises.
|
|
|
|
The bells were still ringing when he got to Lowick, and he went into
|
|
the curate's pew before any one else arrived there. But he was still
|
|
left alone in it when the congregation had assembled. The curate's
|
|
pew was opposite the rector's at the entrance of the small chancel,
|
|
and Will had time to fear that Dorothea might not come while he
|
|
looked round at the group of rural faces which made the congregation
|
|
from year to year within the white-washed walls and dark old pews,
|
|
hardly with more change than we see in the boughs of a tree
|
|
which breaks here and there with age, but yet has young shoots.
|
|
Mr. Rigg's frog-face was something alien and unaccountable,
|
|
but notwithstanding this shock to the order of things, there were
|
|
still the Waules and the rural stock of the Powderells in their
|
|
pews side by side; brother Samuel's cheek had the same purple
|
|
round as ever, and the three generations of decent cottagers
|
|
came as of old with a sense of duty to their betters generally--
|
|
the smaller children regarding Mr. Casaubon, who wore the black gown
|
|
and mounted to the highest box, as probably the chief of all betters,
|
|
and the one most awful if offended. Even in 1831 Lowick was
|
|
at peace, not more agitated by Reform than by the solemn tenor
|
|
of the Sunday sermon. The congregation had been used to seeing
|
|
Will at church in former days, and no one took much note of him
|
|
except the choir, who expected him to make a figure in the singing.
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|
|
|
Dorothea did at last appear on this quaint background, walking up
|
|
the short aisle in her white beaver bonnet and gray cloak--the same
|
|
she had worn in the Vatican. Her face being, from her entrance,
|
|
towards the chancel, even her shortsighted eyes soon discerned Will,
|
|
but there was no outward show of her feeling except a slight
|
|
paleness and a grave bow as she passed him. To his own surprise
|
|
Will felt suddenly uncomfortable, and dared not look at her after
|
|
they had bowed to each other. Two minutes later, when Mr. Casaubon
|
|
came out of the vestry, and, entering the pew, seated himself
|
|
in face of Dorothea, Will felt his paralysis more complete.
|
|
He could look nowhere except at the choir in the little gallery
|
|
over the vestry-door: Dorothea was perhaps pained, and he had made
|
|
a wretched blunder. It was no longer amusing to vex Mr. Casaubon,
|
|
who had the advantage probably of watching him and seeing that he
|
|
dared not turn his head. Why had he not imagined this beforehand?--
|
|
but he could not expect that he should sit in that square
|
|
pew alone, unrelieved by any Tuckers, who had apparently departed
|
|
from Lowick altogether, for a new clergyman was in the desk.
|
|
Still he called himself stupid now for not foreseeing that it would
|
|
be impossible for him to look towards Dorothea--nay, that she
|
|
might feel his coming an impertinence. There was no delivering
|
|
himself from his cage, however; and Will found his places and looked
|
|
at his book as if he had been a school-mistress, feeling that
|
|
the morning service had never been so immeasurably long before,
|
|
that he was utterly ridiculous, out of temper, and miserable.
|
|
This was what a man got by worshipping the sight of a woman!
|
|
The clerk observed with surprise that Mr. Ladislaw did not join in
|
|
the tune of Hanover, and reflected that he might have a cold.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Casaubon did not preach that morning, and there was no change
|
|
in Will's situation until the blessing had been pronounced and
|
|
every one rose. It was the fashion at Lowick for "the betters"
|
|
to go out first. With a sudden determination to break the spell
|
|
that was upon him, Will looked straight at Mr. Casaubon. But that
|
|
gentleman's eyes were on the button of the pew-door, which he opened,
|
|
allowing Dorothea to pass, and following her immediately without
|
|
raising his eyelids. Will's glance had caught Dorothea's as she
|
|
turned out of the pew, and again she bowed, but this time with a
|
|
look of agitation, as if she were repressing tears. Will walked
|
|
out after them, but they went on towards the little gate leading
|
|
out of the churchyard into the shrubbery, never looking round.
|
|
|
|
It was impossible for him to follow them, and he could only walk
|
|
back sadly at mid-day along the same road which he had trodden
|
|
hopefully in the morning. The lights were all changed for him
|
|
both without and within.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XLVIII
|
|
|
|
|
|
Surely the golden hours are turning gray
|
|
And dance no more, and vainly strive to run:
|
|
I see their white locks streaming in the wind--
|
|
Each face is haggard as it looks at me,
|
|
Slow turning in the constant clasping round
|
|
Storm-driven.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dorothea's distress when she was leaving the church came chiefly
|
|
from the perception that Mr. Casaubon was determined not to speak
|
|
to his cousin, and that Will's presence at church had served
|
|
to mark more strongly the alienation between them. Will's coming
|
|
seemed to her quite excusable, nay, she thought it an amiable
|
|
movement in him towards a reconciliation which she herself had been
|
|
constantly wishing for. He had probably imagined, as she had,
|
|
that if Mr. Casaubon and he could meet easily, they would shake
|
|
hands and friendly intercourse might return. But now Dorothea felt
|
|
quite robbed of that hope. Will was banished further than ever,
|
|
for Mr. Casaubon must have been newly embittered by this thrusting
|
|
upon him of a presence which he refused to recognize.
|
|
|
|
He had not been very well that morning, suffering from some
|
|
difficulty in breathing, and had not preached in consequence;
|
|
she was not surprised, therefore, that he was nearly silent
|
|
at luncheon, still less that he made no allusion to Will Ladislaw.
|
|
For her own part she felt that she could never again introduce
|
|
that subject. They usually spent apart the hours between luncheon
|
|
and dinner on a Sunday; Mr. Casaubon in the library dozing chiefly,
|
|
and Dorothea in her boudoir, where she was wont to occupy
|
|
herself with some of her favorite books. There was a little
|
|
heap of them on the table in the bow-window--of various sorts,
|
|
from Herodotus, which she was learning to read with Mr. Casaubon,
|
|
to her old companion Pascal, and Keble's "Christian Year."
|
|
But to-day opened one after another, and could read none of them.
|
|
Everything seemed dreary: the portents before the birth of Cyrus--
|
|
Jewish antiquities--oh dear!--devout epigrams--the sacred chime
|
|
of favorite hymns--all alike were as flat as tunes beaten on wood:
|
|
even the spring flowers and the grass had a dull shiver in them
|
|
under the afternoon clouds that hid the sun fitfully; even the
|
|
sustaining thoughts which had become habits seemed to have in them
|
|
the weariness of long future days in which she would still live
|
|
with them for her sole companions. It was another or rather a
|
|
fuller sort of companionship that poor Dorothea was hungering for,
|
|
and the hunger had grown from the perpetual effort demanded by her
|
|
married life. She was always trying to be what her husband wished,
|
|
and never able to repose on his delight in what she was. The thing
|
|
that she liked, that she spontaneously cared to have, seemed to be
|
|
always excluded from her life; for if it was only granted and not
|
|
shared by her husband it might as well have been denied. About Will
|
|
Ladislaw there had been a difference between them from the first,
|
|
and it had ended, since Mr. Casaubon had so severely repulsed
|
|
Dorothea's strong feeling about his claims on the family property,
|
|
by her being convinced that she was in the right and her husband
|
|
in the wrong, but that she was helpless. This afternoon the
|
|
helplessness was more wretchedly benumbing than ever: she longed
|
|
for objects who could be dear to her, and to whom she could be dear.
|
|
She longed for work which would be directly beneficent like the
|
|
sunshine and the rain, and now it appeared that she was to live
|
|
more and more in a virtual tomb, where there was the apparatus
|
|
of a ghastly labor producing what would never see the light.
|
|
Today she had stood at the door of the tomb and seen Will Ladislaw
|
|
receding into the distant world of warm activity and fellowship--
|
|
turning his face towards her as he went.
|
|
|
|
Books were of no use. Thinking was of no use. It was Sunday, and she
|
|
could not have the carriage to go to Celia, who had lately had a baby.
|
|
There was no refuge now from spiritual emptiness and discontent,
|
|
and Dorothea had to bear her bad mood, as she would have borne
|
|
a headache.
|
|
|
|
After dinner, at the hour when she usually began to read aloud,
|
|
Mr. Casaubon proposed that they should go into the library, where,
|
|
he said, he had ordered a fire and lights. He seemed to have revived,
|
|
and to be thinking intently.
|
|
|
|
In the library Dorothea observed that he had newly arranged a row
|
|
of his note-books on a table, and now he took up and put into her hand
|
|
a well-known volume, which was a table of contents to all the others.
|
|
|
|
"You will oblige me, my dear," he said, seating himself, "if instead
|
|
of other reading this evening, you will go through this aloud,
|
|
pencil in hand, and at each point where I say `mark,' will make a
|
|
cross with your pencil. This is the first step in a sifting process
|
|
which I have long had in view, and as we go on I shall be able
|
|
to indicate to you certain principles of selection whereby you will,
|
|
I trust, have an intelligent participation in my purpose."
|
|
|
|
This proposal was only one more sign added to many since his
|
|
memorable interview with Lydgate, that Mr. Casaubon's original
|
|
reluctance to let Dorothea work with him had given place to the
|
|
contrary disposition, namely, to demand much interest and labor from her.
|
|
|
|
After she had read and marked for two hours, he said, "We will
|
|
take the volume up-stairs--and the pencil, if you please--
|
|
and in case of reading in the night, we can pursue this task.
|
|
It is not wearisome to you, I trust, Dorothea?"
|
|
|
|
"I prefer always reading what you like best to hear," said Dorothea,
|
|
who told the simple truth; for what she dreaded was to exert herself
|
|
in reading or anything else which left him as joyless as ever.
|
|
|
|
It was a proof of the force with which certain characteristics
|
|
in Dorothea impressed those around her, that her husband,
|
|
with all his jealousy and suspicion, had gathered implicit trust
|
|
in the integrity of her promises, and her power of devoting herself
|
|
to her idea of the right and best. Of late he had begun to feel
|
|
that these qualities were a peculiar possession for himself,
|
|
and he wanted to engross them.
|
|
|
|
The reading in the night did come. Dorothea in her young weariness
|
|
had slept soon and fast: she was awakened by a sense of light,
|
|
which seemed to her at first like a sudden vision of sunset after
|
|
she had climbed a steep hill: she opened her eyes and saw her
|
|
husband wrapped in his warm gown seating himself in the arm-chair
|
|
near the fire-place where the embers were still glowing.
|
|
He had lit two candles, expecting that Dorothea would awake,
|
|
but not liking to rouse her by more direct means.
|
|
|
|
"Are you ill, Edward?" she said, rising immediately.
|
|
|
|
"I felt some uneasiness in a reclining posture. I will sit here
|
|
for a time." She threw wood on the fire, wrapped herself up,
|
|
and said, "You would like me to read to you?"
|
|
|
|
"You would oblige me greatly by doing so, Dorothea," said Mr. Casaubon,
|
|
with a shade more meekness than usual in his polite manner.
|
|
"I am wakeful: my mind is remarkably lucid."
|
|
|
|
"I fear that the excitement may be too great for you," said Dorothea,
|
|
remembering Lydgate's cautions.
|
|
|
|
"No, I am not conscious of undue excitement. Thought is easy."
|
|
Dorothea dared not insist, and she read for an hour or more on
|
|
the same plan as she had done in the evening, but getting over
|
|
the pages with more quickness. Mr. Casaubon's mind was more alert,
|
|
and he seemed to anticipate what was coming after a very slight
|
|
verbal indication, saying, "That will do--mark that"--or "Pass
|
|
on to the next head--I omit the second excursus on Crete."
|
|
Dorothea was amazed to think of the bird-like speed with which his
|
|
mind was surveying the ground where it had been creeping for years.
|
|
At last he said--
|
|
|
|
"Close the book now, my dear. We will resume our work to-morrow.
|
|
I have deferred it too long, and would gladly see it completed.
|
|
But you observe that the principle on which my selection is made,
|
|
is to give adequate, and not disproportionate illustration to each
|
|
of the theses enumerated in my introduction, as at present sketched.
|
|
You have perceived that distinctly, Dorothea?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Dorothea, rather tremulously. She felt sick at heart.
|
|
|
|
"And now I think that I can take some repose," said Mr. Casaubon.
|
|
He laid down again and begged her to put out the lights. When she
|
|
had lain down too, and there was a darkness only broken by a dull
|
|
glow on the hearth, he said--
|
|
|
|
"Before I sleep, I have a request to make, Dorothea."
|
|
|
|
"What is it?" said Dorothea, with dread in her mind.
|
|
|
|
"It is that you will let me know, deliberately, whether, in case
|
|
of my death, you will carry out my wishes: whether you will avoid
|
|
doing what I should deprecate, and apply yourself to do what I
|
|
should desire."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea was not taken by surprise: many incidents had been leading
|
|
her to the conjecture of some intention on her husband's part
|
|
which might make a new yoke for her. She did not answer immediately.
|
|
|
|
"You refuse?" said Mr. Casaubon, with more edge in his tone.
|
|
|
|
"No, I do not yet refuse," said Dorothea, in a clear voice, the need
|
|
of freedom asserting itself within her; "but it is too solemn--
|
|
I think it is not right--to make a promise when I am ignorant
|
|
what it will bind me to. Whatever affection prompted I would do
|
|
without promising."
|
|
|
|
"But you would use your own judgment: I ask you to obey mine;
|
|
you refuse."
|
|
|
|
"No, dear, no!" said Dorothea, beseechingly, crushed by opposing fears.
|
|
"But may I wait and reflect a little while? I desire with my whole soul
|
|
to do what will comfort you; but I cannot give any pledge suddenly--
|
|
still less a pledge to do I know not what."
|
|
|
|
"You cannot then confide in the nature of my wishes?"
|
|
|
|
"Grant me till to-morrow," said Dorothea, beseechingly.
|
|
|
|
"Till to-morrow then," said Mr. Casaubon.
|
|
|
|
Soon she could hear that he was sleeping, but there was no more
|
|
sleep for her. While she constrained herself to lie still lest she
|
|
should disturb him, her mind was carrying on a conflict in which
|
|
imagination ranged its forces first on one side and then on the other.
|
|
She had no presentiment that the power which her husband wished
|
|
to establish over her future action had relation to anything else
|
|
than his work. But it was clear enough to her that he would expect
|
|
her to devote herself to sifting those mixed heaps of material,
|
|
which were to be the doubtful illustration of principles still
|
|
more doubtful. The poor child had become altogether unbelieving
|
|
as to the trustworthiness of that Key which had made the ambition
|
|
and the labor of her husband's life. It was not wonderful that,
|
|
in spite of her small instruction, her judgment in this matter was
|
|
truer than his: for she looked with unbiassed comparison and
|
|
healthy sense at probabilities on which he had risked all his egoism.
|
|
And now she pictured to herself the days, and months, and years which
|
|
she must spend in sorting what might be called shattered mummies,
|
|
and fragments of a tradition which was itself a mosaic wrought from
|
|
crushed ruins--sorting them as food for a theory which was already
|
|
withered in the birth like an elfin child. Doubtless a vigorous
|
|
error vigorously pursued has kept the embryos of truth a-breathing:
|
|
the quest of gold being at the same time a questioning of substances,
|
|
the body of chemistry is prepared for its soul, and Lavoisier is born.
|
|
But Mr. Casaubon's theory of the elements which made the seed of all
|
|
tradition was not likely to bruise itself unawares against discoveries:
|
|
it floated among flexible conjectures no more solid than those
|
|
etymologies which seemed strong because of likeness in sound until
|
|
it was shown that likeness in sound made them impossible: it was
|
|
a method of interpretation which was not tested by the necessity
|
|
of forming anything which had sharper collisions than an elaborate
|
|
notion of Gog and Magog: it was as free from interruption as a
|
|
plan for threading the stars together. And Dorothea had so often
|
|
had to check her weariness and impatience over this questionable
|
|
riddle-guessing, as it revealed itself to her instead of the
|
|
fellowship in high knowledge which was to make life worthier!
|
|
She could understand well enough now why her husband had come
|
|
to cling to her, as possibly the only hope left that his labors
|
|
would ever take a shape in which they could be given to the world.
|
|
At first it had seemed that he wished to keep even her aloof from
|
|
any close knowledge of what he was doing; but gradually the terrible
|
|
stringency of human need--the prospect of a too speedy death--
|
|
|
|
And here Dorothea's pity turned from her own future to her
|
|
husband's past--nay, to his present hard struggle with a lot which had
|
|
grown out of that past: the lonely labor, the ambition breathing
|
|
hardly under the pressure of self-distrust; the goal receding,
|
|
and the heavier limbs; and now at last the sword visibly trembling
|
|
above him! And had she not wished to marry him that she might help
|
|
him in his life's labor?--But she had thought the work was to be
|
|
something greater, which she could serve in devoutly for its own sake.
|
|
Was it right, even to soothe his grief--would it be possible,
|
|
even if she promised--to work as in a treadmill fruitlessly?
|
|
|
|
And yet, could she deny him? Could she say, "I refuse to content
|
|
this pining hunger?" It would be refusing to do for him dead,
|
|
what she was almost sure to do for him living. If he lived
|
|
as Lydgate had said he might, for fifteen years or more, her life
|
|
would certainly be spent in helping him and obeying him.
|
|
|
|
Still, there was a deep difference between that devotion to the
|
|
living and that indefinite promise of devotion to the dead.
|
|
While he lived, he could claim nothing that she would not still
|
|
be free to remonstrate against, and even to refuse. But--
|
|
the thought passed through her mind more than once, though she
|
|
could not believe in it--might he not mean to demand something
|
|
more from her than she had been able to imagine, since he wanted
|
|
her pledge to carry out his wishes without telling her exactly
|
|
what they were? No; his heart was bound up in his work only:
|
|
that was the end for which his failing life was to be eked out by hers.
|
|
|
|
And now, if she were to say, "No! if you die, I will put no finger
|
|
to your work"--it seemed as if she would be crushing that bruised heart.
|
|
|
|
For four hours Dorothea lay in this conflict, till she felt ill
|
|
and bewildered, unable to resolve, praying mutely. Helpless as a
|
|
child which has sobbed and sought too long, she fell into a late
|
|
morning sleep, and when she waked Mr. Casaubon was already up.
|
|
Tantripp told her that he had read prayers, breakfasted, and was
|
|
in the library.
|
|
|
|
"I never saw you look so pale, madam," said Tantripp, a solid-figured
|
|
woman who had been with the sisters at Lausanne.
|
|
|
|
"Was I ever high-colored, Tantripp?" said Dorothea, smiling faintly.
|
|
|
|
"Well, not to say high-colored, but with a bloom like a Chiny rose.
|
|
But always smelling those leather books, what can be expected?
|
|
Do rest a little this morning, madam. Let me say you are ill and not
|
|
able to go into that close library."
|
|
|
|
"Oh no, no! let me make haste," said Dorothea. "Mr. Casaubon wants
|
|
me particularly."
|
|
|
|
When she went down she felt sure that she should promise to fulfil
|
|
his wishes; but that would be later in the day--not yet.
|
|
|
|
As Dorothea entered the library, Mr. Casaubon turned round from
|
|
the table where he had been placing some books, and said--
|
|
|
|
"I was waiting for your appearance, my dear. I had hoped
|
|
to set to work at once this morning, but I find myself under
|
|
some indisposition, probably from too much excitement yesterday.
|
|
I am going now to take a turn in the shrubbery, since the air is milder."
|
|
|
|
"I am glad to hear that," said Dorothea. "Your mind, I feared,
|
|
was too active last night."
|
|
|
|
"I would fain have it set at rest on the point
|
|
I last spoke of, Dorothea. You can now, I hope, give me an answer."
|
|
|
|
"May I come out to you in the garden presently?" said Dorothea,
|
|
winning a little breathing space in that way.
|
|
|
|
"I shall be in the Yew-tree Walk for the next half-hour,"
|
|
said Mr. Casaubon, and then he left her.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea, feeling very weary, rang and asked Tantripp to bring
|
|
her some wraps. She had been sitting still for a few minutes,
|
|
but not in any renewal of the former conflict: she simply felt
|
|
that she was going to say "Yes" to her own doom: she was too weak,
|
|
too full of dread at the thought of inflicting a keen-edged blow
|
|
on her husband, to do anything but submit completely. She sat still
|
|
and let Tantripp put on her bonnet and shawl, a passivity which was
|
|
unusual with her, for she liked to wait on herself.
|
|
|
|
"God bless you, madam!" said Tantripp, with an irrepressible movement
|
|
of love towards the beautiful, gentle creature for whom she felt
|
|
unable to do anything more, now that she had finished tying the bonnet.
|
|
|
|
This was too much for Dorothea's highly-strung feeling, and she
|
|
burst into tears, sobbing against Tantripp's arm. But soon she
|
|
checked herself, dried her eyes, and went out at the glass door
|
|
into the shrubbery.
|
|
|
|
"I wish every book in that library was built into a caticom for
|
|
your master," said Tantripp to Pratt, the butler, finding him in the
|
|
breakfast-room. She had been at Rome, and visited the antiquities,
|
|
as we know; and she always declined to call Mr. Casaubon anything
|
|
but "your master," when speaking to the other servants.
|
|
|
|
Pratt laughed. He liked his master very well, but he liked
|
|
Tantripp better.
|
|
|
|
When Dorothea was out on the gravel walks, she lingered among the
|
|
nearer clumps of trees, hesitating, as she had done once before,
|
|
though from a different cause. Then she had feared lest her effort
|
|
at fellowship should be unwelcome; now she dreaded going to the spot
|
|
where she foresaw that she must bind herself to a fellowship from
|
|
which she shrank. Neither law nor the world's opinion compelled
|
|
her to this--only her husband's nature and her own compassion,
|
|
only the ideal and not the real yoke of marriage. She saw clearly
|
|
enough the whole situation, yet she was fettered: she could not
|
|
smite the stricken soul that entreated hers. If that were weakness,
|
|
Dorothea was weak. But the half-hour was passing, and she must not
|
|
delay longer. When she entered the Yew-tree Walk she could not see
|
|
her husband; but the walk had bends, and she went, expecting to catch
|
|
sight of his figure wrapped in a blue cloak, which, with a warm
|
|
velvet cap, was his outer garment on chill days for the garden.
|
|
It occurred to her that he might be resting in the summer-house,
|
|
towards which the path diverged a little. Turning the angle,
|
|
she could see him seated on the bench, close to a stone table.
|
|
His arms were resting on the table, and his brow was bowed down on them,
|
|
the blue cloak being dragged forward and screening his face on
|
|
each side.
|
|
|
|
"He exhausted himself last night," Dorothea said to herself,
|
|
thinking at first that he was asleep, and that the summer-house was
|
|
too damp a place to rest in. But then she remembered that of late
|
|
she had seen him take that attitude when she was reading to him,
|
|
as if he found it easier than any other; and that he would
|
|
sometimes speak, as well as listen, with his face down in that way.
|
|
She went into the summerhouse and said, "I am come, Edward; I am ready."
|
|
|
|
He took no notice, and she thought that he must be fast asleep.
|
|
She laid her hand on his shoulder, and repeated, "I am ready!"
|
|
Still he was motionless; and with a sudden confused fear, she leaned
|
|
down to him, took off his velvet cap, and leaned her cheek close to
|
|
his head, crying in a distressed tone--
|
|
|
|
"Wake, dear, wake! Listen to me. I am come to answer."
|
|
But Dorothea never gave her answer.
|
|
|
|
Later in the day, Lydgate was seated by her bedside, and she was
|
|
talking deliriously, thinking aloud, and recalling what had gone
|
|
through her mind the night before. She knew him, and called him
|
|
by his name, but appeared to think it right that she should explain
|
|
everything to him; and again, and again, begged him to explain
|
|
everything to her husband.
|
|
|
|
"Tell him I shall go to him soon: I am ready to promise.
|
|
Only, thinking about it was so dreadful--it has made me ill.
|
|
Not very ill. I shall soon be better. Go and tell him."
|
|
|
|
But the silence in her husband's ear was never more to be broken.
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER XLIX.
|
|
|
|
|
|
A task too strong for wizard spells
|
|
This squire had brought about;
|
|
'T is easy dropping stones in wells,
|
|
But who shall get them out?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
"I wish to God we could hinder Dorothea from knowing this," said Sir
|
|
James Chettam, with a little frown on his brow, and an expression
|
|
of intense disgust about his mouth.
|
|
|
|
He was standing on the hearth-rug in the library at Lowick Grange,
|
|
and speaking to Mr. Brooke. It was the day after Mr. Casaubon had
|
|
been buried, and Dorothea was not yet able to leave her room.
|
|
|
|
"That would be difficult, you know, Chettam, as she is an executrix,
|
|
and she likes to go into these things--property, land, that kind
|
|
of thing. She has her notions, you know," said Mr. Brooke,
|
|
sticking his eye-glasses on nervously, and exploring the edges of a
|
|
folded paper which he held in his hand; "and she would like to act--
|
|
depend upon it, as an executrix Dorothea would want to act. And she
|
|
was twenty-one last December, you know. I can hinder nothing."
|
|
|
|
Sir James looked at the carpet for a minute in silence, and then
|
|
lifting his eyes suddenly fixed them on Mr. Brooke, saying, "I will
|
|
tell you what we can do. Until Dorothea is well, all business must
|
|
be kept from her, and as soon as she is able to be moved she must
|
|
come to us. Being with Celia and the baby will be the best thing
|
|
in the world for her, and will pass away the time. And meanwhile you
|
|
must get rid of Ladislaw: you must send him out of the country."
|
|
Here Sir James's look of disgust returned in all its intensity.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke put his hands behind him, walked to the window
|
|
and straightened his back with a little shake before he replied.
|
|
|
|
"That is easily said, Chettam, easily said, you know."
|
|
|
|
"My dear sir," persisted Sir James, restraining his indignation
|
|
within respectful forms, "it was you who brought him here, and you
|
|
who keep him here--I mean by the occupation you give him."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, but I can't dismiss him in an instant without assigning reasons,
|
|
my dear Chettam. Ladislaw has been invaluable, most satisfactory.
|
|
I consider that I have done this part of the country a service by
|
|
bringing him--by bringing him, you know." Mr. Brooke ended with a nod,
|
|
turning round to give it.
|
|
|
|
"It's a pity this part of the country didn't do without him,
|
|
that's all I have to say about it. At any rate, as Dorothea's
|
|
brother-in-law, I feel warranted in objecting strongly to his being
|
|
kept here by any action on the part of her friends. You admit,
|
|
I hope, that I have a right to speak about what concerns the dignity
|
|
of my wife's sister?"
|
|
|
|
Sir James was getting warm.
|
|
|
|
"Of course, my dear Chettam, of course. But you and I have
|
|
different ideas--different--"
|
|
|
|
"Not about this action of Casaubon's, I should hope," interrupted
|
|
Sir James. "I say that he has most unfairly compromised Dorothea.
|
|
I say that there never was a meaner, more ungentlemanly action
|
|
than this--a codicil of this sort to a will which he made at the time
|
|
of his marriage with the knowledge and reliance of her family--
|
|
a positive insult to Dorothea!"
|
|
|
|
"Well, you know, Casaubon was a little twisted about Ladislaw.
|
|
Ladislaw has told me the reason--dislike of the bent he took, you know--
|
|
Ladislaw didn't think much of Casaubon's notions, Thoth and Dagon--
|
|
that sort of thing: and I fancy that Casaubon didn't like the
|
|
independent position Ladislaw had taken up. I saw the letters
|
|
between them, you know. Poor Casaubon was a little buried in books--
|
|
he didn't know the world."
|
|
|
|
"It's all very well for Ladislaw to put that color on it,"
|
|
said Sir James. "But I believe Casaubon was only jealous of him
|
|
on Dorothea's account, and the world will suppose that she
|
|
gave him some reason; and that is what makes it so abominable--
|
|
coupling her name with this young fellow's."
|
|
|
|
"My dear Chettam, it won't lead to anything, you know,"
|
|
said Mr. Brooke, seating himself and sticking on his eye-
|
|
glass again. "It's all of a piece with Casaubon's oddity.
|
|
This paper, now, `Synoptical Tabulation' and so on, `for the use
|
|
of Mrs. Casaubon,' it was locked up in the desk with the will.
|
|
I suppose he meant Dorothea to publish his researches, eh? and
|
|
she'll do it, you know; she has gone into his studies uncommonly."
|
|
|
|
"My dear sir," said Sir James, impatiently, "that is neither
|
|
here nor there. The question is, whether you don't see with me
|
|
the propriety of sending young Ladislaw away?"
|
|
|
|
"Well, no, not the urgency of the thing. By-and-by, perhaps,
|
|
it may come round. As to gossip, you know, sending him away won't
|
|
hinder gossip. People say what they like to say, not what they
|
|
have chapter and verse for," said Mr Brooke, becoming acute about
|
|
the truths that lay on the side of his own wishes. "I might get rid
|
|
of Ladislaw up to a certain point--take away the `Pioneer' from him,
|
|
and that sort of thing; but I couldn't send him out of the country
|
|
if he didn't choose to go--didn't choose, you know."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke, persisting as quietly as if he were only discussing
|
|
the nature of last year's weather, and nodding at the end with his
|
|
usual amenity, was an exasperating form of obstinacy.
|
|
|
|
"Good God!" said Sir James, with as much passion as he ever showed,
|
|
"let us get him a post; let us spend money on him. If he could go
|
|
in the suite of some Colonial Governor! Grampus might take him--
|
|
and I could write to Fulke about it."
|
|
|
|
"But Ladislaw won't be shipped off like a head of cattle, my dear fellow;
|
|
Ladislaw has his ideas. It's my opinion that if he were to part
|
|
from me to-morrow, you'd only hear the more of him in the country.
|
|
With his talent for speaking and drawing up documents, there are
|
|
few men who could come up to him as an agitator--an agitator,
|
|
you know."
|
|
|
|
"Agitator!" said Sir James, with bitter emphasis, feeling that
|
|
the syllables of this word properly repeated were a sufficient
|
|
exposure of its hatefulness.
|
|
|
|
"But be reasonable, Chettam. Dorothea, now. As you say,
|
|
she had better go to Celia as soon as possible. She can stay under
|
|
your roof, and in the mean time things may come round quietly.
|
|
Don't let us be firing off our guns in a hurry, you know.
|
|
Standish will keep our counsel, and the news will be old before
|
|
it's known. Twenty things may happen to carry off Ladislaw--
|
|
without my doing anything, you know."
|
|
|
|
"Then I am to conclude that you decline to do anything?"
|
|
|
|
"Decline, Chettam?--no--I didn't say decline. But I really don't
|
|
see what I could do. Ladislaw is a gentleman."
|
|
|
|
"I am glad to hear It!" said Sir James, his irritation making him
|
|
forget himself a little. "I am sure Casaubon was not."
|
|
|
|
"Well, it would have been worse if he had made the codicil to hinder
|
|
her from marrying again at all, you know."
|
|
|
|
"I don't know that," said Sir James. "It would have been
|
|
less indelicate."
|
|
|
|
"One of poor Casaubon's freaks! That attack upset his brain a little.
|
|
It all goes for nothing. She doesn't WANT to marry Ladislaw."
|
|
|
|
"But this codicil is framed so as to make everybody believe that she did.
|
|
I don't believe anything of the sort about Dorothea," said Sir James--
|
|
then frowningly, "but I suspect Ladislaw. I tell you frankly,
|
|
I suspect Ladislaw."
|
|
|
|
"I couldn't take any immediate action on that ground, Chettam. In fact,
|
|
if it were possible to pack him off--send him to Norfolk Island--
|
|
that sort of thing--it would look all the worse for Dorothea to
|
|
those who knew about it. It would seem as if we distrusted her--
|
|
distrusted her, you know."
|
|
|
|
That Mr. Brooke had hit on an undeniable argument, did not tend
|
|
to soothe Sir James. He put out his hand to reach his hat,
|
|
implying that he did not mean to contend further, and said,
|
|
still with some heat--
|
|
|
|
"Well, I can only say that I think Dorothea was sacrificed once,
|
|
because her friends were too careless. I shall do what I can,
|
|
as her brother, to protect her now."
|
|
|
|
"You can't do better than get her to Freshitt as soon as possible,
|
|
Chettam. I approve that plan altogether," said Mr. Brooke, well pleased
|
|
that he had won the argument. It would have been highly inconvenient
|
|
to him to part with Ladislaw at that time, when a dissolution might
|
|
happen any day, and electors were to be convinced of the course by
|
|
which the interests of the country would be best served. Mr. Brooke
|
|
sincerely believed that this end could be secured by his own return
|
|
to Parliament: he offered the forces of his mind honestly to the nation.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER L.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"`This Loller here wol precilen us somewhat.'
|
|
`Nay by my father's soule! that schal he nat,'
|
|
Sayde the Schipman, `here schal he not preche,
|
|
We schal no gospel glosen here ne teche.
|
|
We leven all in the gret God,' quod he.
|
|
He wolden sowen some diffcultee."
|
|
Canterbury Tales.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea had been safe at Freshitt Hall nearly a week before she had asked
|
|
any dangerous questions. Every morning now she sat with Celia in the
|
|
prettiest of up-stairs sitting-rooms, opening into a small conservatory--
|
|
Celia all in white and lavender like a bunch of mixed violets,
|
|
watching the remarkable acts of the baby, which were so dubious
|
|
to her inexperienced mind that all conversation was interrupted
|
|
by appeals for their interpretation made to the oracular nurse.
|
|
Dorothea sat by in her widow's dress, with an expression which rather
|
|
provoked Celia, as being much too sad; for not only was baby quite well,
|
|
but really when a husband had been so dull and troublesome while
|
|
he lived, and besides that had--well, well! Sir James, of course,
|
|
had told Celia everything, with a strong representation how important
|
|
it was that Dorothea should not know it sooner than was inevitable.
|
|
|
|
But Mr. Brooke had been right in predicting that Dorothea would not
|
|
long remain passive where action had been assigned to her; she knew
|
|
the purport of her husband's will made at the time of their marriage,
|
|
and her mind, as soon as she was clearly conscious of her position,
|
|
was silently occupied with what she ought to do as the owner
|
|
of Lowick Manor with the patronage of the living attached to it.
|
|
|
|
One morning when her uncle paid his usual visit, though with an unusual
|
|
alacrity in his manner which he accounted for by saying that it
|
|
was now pretty certain Parliament would be dissolved forthwith,
|
|
Dorothea said--
|
|
|
|
"Uncle, it is right now that I should consider who is to have
|
|
the living at Lowick. After Mr. Tucker had been provided for,
|
|
I never heard my husband say that he had any clergyman in his
|
|
mind as a successor to himself. I think I ought to have the
|
|
keys now and go to Lowick to examine all my husband's papers.
|
|
There may be something that would throw light on his wishes."
|
|
|
|
"No hurry, my dear," said Mr. Brooke, quietly. "By-and-by, you know,
|
|
you can go, if you like. But I cast my eyes over things in the
|
|
desks and drawers--there was nothing--nothing but deep subjects,
|
|
you know--besides the will. Everything can be done by-and-by. As
|
|
to the living, I have had an application for interest already--
|
|
I should say rather good. Mr. Tyke has been strongly recommended
|
|
to me--I had something to do with getting him an appointment before.
|
|
An apostolic man, I believe--the sort of thing that would suit you,
|
|
my dear."
|
|
|
|
"I should like to have fuller knowledge about him, uncle, and judge
|
|
for myself, if Mr. Casaubon has not left any expression of his wishes.
|
|
He has perhaps made some addition to his will--there may be some
|
|
instructions for me," said Dorothea, who had all the while had this
|
|
conjecture in her mind with relation to her husband's work.
|
|
|
|
"Nothing about the rectory, my dear--nothing," said Mr. Brooke,
|
|
rising to go away, and putting out his hand to his nieces:
|
|
"nor about his researches, you know. Nothing in the will."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea's lip quivered.
|
|
|
|
"Come, you must not think of these things yet, my dear.
|
|
By-and-by, you know."
|
|
|
|
"I am quite well now, uncle; I wish to exert myself."
|
|
|
|
"Well, well, we shall see. But I must run away now--I have no end
|
|
of work now--it's a crisis--a political crisis, you know. And here
|
|
is Celia and her little man--you are an aunt, you know, now, and I
|
|
am a sort of grandfather," said Mr. Brooke, with placid hurry,
|
|
anxious to get away and tell Chettam that it would not be his
|
|
(Mr. Brooke's) fault if Dorothea insisted on looking into everything.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea sank back in her chair when her uncle had left the room,
|
|
and cast her eyes down meditatively on her crossed hands.
|
|
|
|
"Look, Dodo! look at him! Did you ever see anything like that?"
|
|
said Celia, in her comfortable staccato.
|
|
|
|
"What, Kitty?" said Dorothea, lifting her eyes rather absently.
|
|
|
|
"What? why, his upper lip; see how he is drawing it down,
|
|
as if he meant to make a face. Isn't it wonderful! He may have
|
|
his little thoughts. I wish nurse were here. Do look at him."
|
|
|
|
A large tear which had been for some time gathering, rolled down
|
|
Dorothea's cheek as she looked up and tried to smile.
|
|
|
|
"Don't be sad, Dodo; kiss baby. What are you brooding over so?
|
|
I am sure you did everything, and a great deal too much. You should
|
|
be happy now."
|
|
|
|
"I wonder if Sir James would drive me to Lowick. I want to look
|
|
over everything--to see if there were any words written for me."
|
|
|
|
"You are not to go till Mr. Lydgate says you may go. And he
|
|
has not said so yet (here you are, nurse; take baby and walk
|
|
up and down the gallery). Besides, you have got a wrong notion
|
|
in your head as usual, Dodo--I can see that: it vexes me."
|
|
|
|
"Where am I wrong, Kitty?" said Dorothea, quite meekly. She was
|
|
almost ready now to think Celia wiser than herself, and was really
|
|
wondering with some fear what her wrong notion was. Celia felt
|
|
her advantage, and was determined to use it. None of them knew Dodo
|
|
as well as she did, or knew how to manage her. Since Celia's
|
|
baby was born, she had had a new sense of her mental solidity
|
|
and calm wisdom. It seemed clear that where there was a baby,
|
|
things were right enough, and that error, in general, was a mere
|
|
lack of that central poising force.
|
|
|
|
"I can see what you are thinking of as well as can be, Dodo,"
|
|
said Celia. "You are wanting to find out if there is anything
|
|
uncomfortable for you to do now, only because Mr. Casaubon wished it.
|
|
As if you had not been uncomfortable enough before. And he doesn't
|
|
deserve it, and you will find that out. He has behaved very badly.
|
|
James is as angry with him as can be. And I had better tell you,
|
|
to prepare you."
|
|
|
|
"Celia," said Dorothea, entreatingly, "you distress me.
|
|
Tell me at once what you mean." It glanced through her mind that'
|
|
Mr. Casaubon had left the property away from her--which would not
|
|
be so very distressing.
|
|
|
|
"Why, he has made a codicil to his will, to say the property was
|
|
all to go away from you if you married--I mean--"
|
|
|
|
"That is of no consequence," said Dorothea, breaking in impetuously.
|
|
|
|
"But if you married Mr. Ladislaw, not anybody else," Celia went
|
|
on with persevering quietude. "Of course that is of no consequence
|
|
in one way--you never WOULD marry Mr. Ladislaw; but that only
|
|
makes it worse of Mr. Casaubon."
|
|
|
|
The blood rushed to Dorothea's face and neck painfully. But Celia
|
|
was administering what she thought a sobering dose of fact.
|
|
It was taking up notions that had done Dodo's health so much harm.
|
|
So she went on in her neutral tone, as if she had been remarking on
|
|
baby's robes.
|
|
|
|
"James says so. He says it is abominable, and not like a gentleman.
|
|
And there never was a better judge than James. It is as if
|
|
Mr. Casaubon wanted to make people believe that you would wish
|
|
to marry Mr. Ladislaw--which is ridiculous. Only James says it
|
|
was to hinder Mr. Ladislaw from wanting to marry you for your money--
|
|
just as if he ever would think of making you an offer. Mrs. Cadwallader
|
|
said you might as well marry an Italian with white mice! But I
|
|
must just go and look at baby," Celia added, without the least
|
|
change of tone, throwing a light shawl over her, and tripping away.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea by this time had turned cold again, and now threw herself
|
|
back helplessly in her chair. She might have compared her experience
|
|
at that moment to the vague, alarmed consciousness that her life
|
|
was taking on a new form that she was undergoing a metamorphosis in
|
|
which memory would not adjust itself to the stirring of new organs.
|
|
Everything was changing its aspect: her husband's conduct,
|
|
her own duteous feeling towards him, every struggle between them--
|
|
and yet more, her whole relation to Will Ladislaw. Her world
|
|
was in a state of convulsive change; the only thing she could say
|
|
distinctly to herself was, that she must wait and think anew.
|
|
One change terrified her as if it had been a sin; it was a
|
|
violent shock of repulsion from her departed husband, who had had
|
|
hidden thoughts, perhaps perverting everything she said and did.
|
|
Then again she was conscious of another change which also made
|
|
her tremulous; it was a sudden strange yearning of heart towards
|
|
Will Ladislaw. It had never before entered her mind that he could,
|
|
under any circumstances, be her lover: conceive the effect of the
|
|
sudden revelation that another had thought of him in that light--
|
|
that perhaps he himself had been conscious of such a possibility,--
|
|
and this with the hurrying, crowding vision of unfitting conditions,
|
|
and questions not soon to be solved.
|
|
|
|
It seemed a long while--she did not know how long--before she heard
|
|
Celia saying, "That will do, nurse; he will be quiet on my lap now.
|
|
You can go to lunch, and let Garratt stay in the next room."
|
|
"What I think, Dodo," Celia went on, observing nothing more than that
|
|
Dorothea was leaning back in her chair, and likely to be passive,
|
|
"is that Mr. Casaubon was spiteful. I never did like him, and James
|
|
never did. I think the corners of his mouth were dreadfully spiteful.
|
|
And now he has behaved in this way, I am sure religion does not
|
|
require you to make yourself uncomfortable about him. If he has
|
|
been taken away, that is a mercy, and you ought to be grateful.
|
|
We should not grieve, should we, baby?" said Celia confidentially
|
|
to that unconscious centre and poise of the world, who had the most
|
|
remarkable fists all complete even to the nails, and hair enough,
|
|
really, when you took his cap off, to make--you didn't know what:--
|
|
in short, he was Bouddha in a Western form.
|
|
|
|
At this crisis Lydgate was announced, and one of the first things he
|
|
said was, "I fear you are not so well as you were, Mrs. Casaubon;
|
|
have you been agitated? allow me to feel your pulse." Dorothea's hand
|
|
was of a marble coldness.
|
|
|
|
"She wants to go to Lowick, to look over papers," said Celia.
|
|
"She ought not, ought she?"
|
|
|
|
Lydgate did not speak for a few moments. Then he said,
|
|
looking at Dorothea. "I hardly know. In my opinion Mrs. Casaubon
|
|
should do what would give her the most repose of mind.
|
|
That repose will not always come from being forbidden to act."
|
|
|
|
"Thank you;" said Dorothea, exerting herself, "I am sure that is wise.
|
|
There are so many things which I ought to attend to. Why should I sit
|
|
here idle?" Then, with an effort to recall subjects not connected with
|
|
her agitation, she added, abruptly, "You know every one in Middlemarch,
|
|
I think, Mr. Lydgate. I shall ask you to tell me a great deal.
|
|
I have serious things to do now. I have a living to give away.
|
|
You know Mr. Tyke and all the--" But Dorothea's effort was too much
|
|
for her; she broke off and burst into sobs. Lydgate made her drink
|
|
a dose of sal volatile.
|
|
|
|
"Let Mrs. Casaubon do as she likes," he said to Sir James, whom he
|
|
asked to see before quitting the house. "She wants perfect freedom,
|
|
I think, more than any other prescription."
|
|
|
|
His attendance on Dorothea while her brain was excited, had enabled
|
|
him to form some true conclusions concerning the trials of her life.
|
|
He felt sure that she had been suffering from the strain and
|
|
conflict of self-repression; and that she was likely now to feel
|
|
herself only in another sort of pinfold than that from which she
|
|
had been released.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate's advice was all the easier for Sir James to follow
|
|
when he found that Celia had already told Dorothea the unpleasant
|
|
fact about the will. There was no help for it now--no reason
|
|
for any further delay in the execution of necessary business.
|
|
And the next day Sir James complied at once with her request
|
|
that he would drive her to Lowick.
|
|
|
|
"I have no wish to stay there at present," said Dorothea;
|
|
"I could hardly bear it. I am much happier at Freshitt with Celia.
|
|
I shall be able to think better about what should be done at Lowick
|
|
by looking at it from a distance. And I should like to be at the
|
|
Grange a little while with my uncle, and go about in all the old
|
|
walks and among the people in the village."
|
|
|
|
"Not yet, I think. Your uncle is having political company,
|
|
and you are better out of the way of such doings," said Sir James,
|
|
who at that moment thought of the Grange chiefly as a haunt
|
|
of young Ladislaw's. But no word passed between him and Dorothea
|
|
about the objectionable part of the will; indeed, both of them
|
|
felt that the mention of it between them would be impossible.
|
|
Sir James was shy, even with men, about disagreeable subjects;
|
|
and the one thing that Dorothea would have chosen to say, if she
|
|
had spoken on the matter at all, was forbidden to her at present
|
|
because it seemed to be a further exposure of her husband's injustice.
|
|
Yet she did wish that Sir James could know what had passed between her
|
|
and her husband about Will Ladislaw's moral claim on the property:
|
|
it would then, she thought, be apparent to him as it was to her,
|
|
that her husband's strange indelicate proviso had been chiefly urged
|
|
by his bitter resistance to that idea of claim, and not merely
|
|
by personal feelings more difficult to talk about. Also, it must
|
|
be admitted, Dorothea wished that this could be known for Will's sake,
|
|
since her friends seemed to think of him as simply an object of
|
|
Mr. Casaubon's charity. Why should he be compared with an Italian
|
|
carrying white mice? That word quoted from Mrs. Cadwallader seemed
|
|
like a mocking travesty wrought in the dark by an impish finger.
|
|
|
|
At Lowick Dorothea searched desk and drawer--searched all her
|
|
husband's places of deposit for private writing, but found no paper
|
|
addressed especially to her, except that "Synoptical Tabulation,"
|
|
which was probably only the beginning of many intended directions
|
|
for her guidance. In carrying out this bequest of labor to Dorothea,
|
|
as in all else, Mr. Casaubon had been slow and hesitating, oppressed in
|
|
the plan of transmitting his work, as he had been in executing it,
|
|
by the sense of moving heavily in a dim and clogging medium:
|
|
distrust of Dorothea's competence to arrange what he had prepared
|
|
was subdued only by distrust of any other redactor. But he had come
|
|
at last to create a trust for himself out of Dorothea's nature:
|
|
she could do what she resolved to do: and he willingly imagined her
|
|
toiling under the fetters of a promise to erect a tomb with his name
|
|
upon it. (Not that Mr. Casaubon called the future volumes a tomb;
|
|
he called them the Key to all Mythologies.) But the months gained
|
|
on him and left his plans belated: he had only had time to ask
|
|
for that promise by which he sought to keep his cold grasp on
|
|
Dorothea's life.
|
|
|
|
The grasp had slipped away. Bound by a pledge given from the
|
|
depths of her pity, she would have been capable of undertaking
|
|
a toil which her judgment whispered was vain for all uses except
|
|
that consecration of faithfulness which is a supreme use. But now
|
|
her judgment, instead of being controlled by duteous devotion,
|
|
was made active by the imbittering discovery that in her past union
|
|
there had lurked the hidden alienation of secrecy and suspicion.
|
|
The living, suffering man was no longer before her to awaken
|
|
her pity: there remained only the retrospect of painful subjection
|
|
to a husband whose thoughts had been lower than she had believed,
|
|
whose exorbitant claims for himself had even blinded his scrupulous
|
|
care for his own character, and made him defeat his own pride by
|
|
shocking men of ordinary honor. As for the property which was the
|
|
sign of that broken tie, she would have been glad to be free from
|
|
it and have nothing more than her original fortune which had been
|
|
settled on her, if there had not been duties attached to ownership,
|
|
which she ought not to flinch from. About this property many
|
|
troublous questions insisted on rising: had she not been right
|
|
in thinking that the half of it ought to go to Will Ladislaw?--
|
|
but was it not impossible now for her to do that act of justice?
|
|
Mr. Casaubon had taken a cruelly effective means of hindering her:
|
|
even with indignation against him in her heart, any act that seemed a
|
|
triumphant eluding of his purpose revolted her.
|
|
|
|
After collecting papers of business which she wished to examine,
|
|
she locked up again the desks and drawers--all empty of personal
|
|
words for her--empty of any sign that in her husband's lonely
|
|
brooding his heart had gone out to her in excuse or explanation;
|
|
and she went back to Freshitt with the sense that around his last hard
|
|
demand and his last injurious assertion of his power, the silence
|
|
was unbroken.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea tried now to turn her thoughts towards immediate duties,
|
|
and one of these was of a kind which others were determined to remind
|
|
her of. Lydgate's ear had caught eagerly her mention of the living,
|
|
and as soon as he could, he reopened the subject, seeing here a
|
|
possibility of making amends for the casting-vote he had once given
|
|
with an ill-satisfied conscience. "Instead of telling you anything
|
|
about Mr. Tyke," he said, "I should like to speak of another man--
|
|
Mr. Farebrother, the Vicar of St. Botolph's. His living is a poor one,
|
|
and gives him a stinted provision for himself and his family.
|
|
His mother, aunt, and sister all live with him, and depend upon him.
|
|
I believe he has never married because of them. I never heard
|
|
such good preaching as his--such plain, easy eloquence. He would
|
|
have done to preach at St. Paul's Cross after old Latimer. His talk
|
|
is just as good about all subjects: original, simple, clear.
|
|
I think him a remarkable fellow: he ought to have done more than he
|
|
has done."
|
|
|
|
"Why has he not done more?" said Dorothea, interested now in all
|
|
who had slipped below their own intention.
|
|
|
|
"That's a hard question," said Lydgate. "I find myself that it's
|
|
uncommonly difficult to make the right thing work: there are so many
|
|
strings pulling at once. Farebrother often hints that he has got
|
|
into the wrong profession; he wants a wider range than that of a
|
|
poor clergyman, and I suppose he has no interest to help him on.
|
|
He is very fond of Natural History and various scientific matters,
|
|
and he is hampered in reconciling these tastes with his position.
|
|
He has no money to spare--hardly enough to use; and that has led
|
|
him into card-playing--Middlemarch is a great place for whist.
|
|
He does play for money, and he wins a good deal. Of course that
|
|
takes him into company a little beneath him, and makes him slack
|
|
about some things; and yet, with all that, looking at him as a whole,
|
|
I think he is one of the most blameless men I ever knew. He has
|
|
neither venom nor doubleness in him, and those often go with a more
|
|
correct outside."
|
|
|
|
"I wonder whether he suffers in his conscience because of that habit,"
|
|
said Dorothea; "I wonder whether he wishes he could leave it off."
|
|
|
|
"I have no doubt he would leave it off, if he were transplanted
|
|
into plenty: he would be glad of the time for other things."
|
|
|
|
"My uncle says that Mr. Tyke is spoken of as an apostolic man,"
|
|
said Dorothea, meditatively. She was wishing it were possible to restore
|
|
the times of primitive zeal, and yet thinking of Mr. Farebrother
|
|
with a strong desire to rescue him from his chance-gotten money.
|
|
|
|
"I don't pretend to say that Farebrother is apostolic," said Lydgate.
|
|
"His position is not quite like that of the Apostles: he is only a
|
|
parson among parishioners whose lives he has to try and make better.
|
|
Practically I find that what is called being apostolic now,
|
|
is an impatience of everything in which the parson doesn't cut
|
|
the principal figure. I see something of that in Mr. Tyke at
|
|
the Hospital: a good deal of his doctrine is a sort of pinching hard
|
|
to make people uncomfortably--aware of him. Besides, an apostolic
|
|
man at Lowick!--he ought to think, as St. Francis did, that it
|
|
is needful to preach to the birds."
|
|
|
|
"True," said Dorothea. "It is hard to imagine what sort of notions
|
|
our farmers and laborers get from their teaching. I have been
|
|
looking into a volume of sermons by Mr. Tyke: such sermons would
|
|
be of no use at Lowick--I mean, about imputed righteousness and
|
|
the prophecies in the Apocalypse. I have always been thinking
|
|
of the different ways in which Christianity is taught, and whenever
|
|
I find one way that makes it a wider blessing than any other,
|
|
I cling to that as the truest--I mean that which takes in the most
|
|
good of all kinds, and brings in the most people as sharers in it.
|
|
It is surely better to pardon too much, than to condemn too much.
|
|
But I should like to see Mr. Farebrother and hear him preach."
|
|
|
|
"Do," said Lydgate; "I trust to the effect of that. He is very
|
|
much beloved, but he has his enemies too: there are always
|
|
people who can't forgive an able man for differing from them.
|
|
And that money-winning business is really a blot. You don't,
|
|
of course, see many Middlemarch people: but Mr. Ladislaw, who is
|
|
constantly seeing Mr. Brooke, is a great friend of Mr. Farebrother's
|
|
old ladies, and would be glad to sing the Vicar's praises.
|
|
One of the old ladies--Miss Noble, the aunt--is a wonderfully
|
|
quaint picture of self-forgetful goodness, and Ladislaw gallants
|
|
her about sometimes. I met them one day in a back street:
|
|
you know Ladislaw's look--a sort of Daphnis in coat and waistcoat;
|
|
and this little old maid reaching up to his arm--they looked
|
|
like a couple dropped out of a romantic comedy. But the best
|
|
evidence about Farebrother is to see him and hear him."
|
|
|
|
Happily Dorothea was in her private sitting-room when this
|
|
conversation occurred, and there was no one present to make Lydgate's
|
|
innocent introduction of Ladislaw painful to her. As was usual
|
|
with him in matters of personal gossip, Lydgate had quite forgotten
|
|
Rosamond's remark that she thought Will adored Mrs. Casaubon.
|
|
At that moment he was only caring for what would recommend the
|
|
Farebrother family; and he had purposely given emphasis to the worst
|
|
that could be said about the Vicar, in order to forestall objections.
|
|
In the weeks. since Mr. Casaubon's death he had hardly seen
|
|
Ladislaw, and he had heard no rumor to warn him that Mr. Brooke's
|
|
confidential secretary was a dangerous subject with Mrs. Casaubon.
|
|
When he was gone, his picture of Ladislaw lingered in her mind
|
|
and disputed the ground with that question of the Lowick living.
|
|
What was Will Ladislaw thinking about her? Would he hear of
|
|
that fact which made her cheeks burn as they never used to do?
|
|
And how would he feel when he heard it?--But she could see
|
|
as well as possible how he smiled down at the little old maid.
|
|
An Italian with white mice!--on the contrary, he was a creature
|
|
who entered into every one's feelings, and could take the pressure
|
|
of their thought instead of urging his own with iron resistance.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LI.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Party is Nature too, and you shall see
|
|
By force of Logic how they both agree:
|
|
The Many in the One, the One in Many;
|
|
All is not Some, nor Some the same as Any:
|
|
Genus holds species, both are great or small;
|
|
One genus highest, one not high at all;
|
|
Each species has its differentia too,
|
|
This is not That, and He was never You,
|
|
Though this and that are AYES, and you and he
|
|
Are like as one to one, or three to three.
|
|
|
|
|
|
No gossip about Mr. Casaubon's will had yet reached Ladislaw:
|
|
the air seemed to be filled with the dissolution of Parliament
|
|
and the coming election, as the old wakes and fairs were filled
|
|
with the rival clatter of itinerant shows; and more private noises
|
|
were taken little notice of. The famous "dry election" was at hand,
|
|
in which the depths of public feeling might be measured by the low
|
|
flood-mark of drink. Will Ladislaw was one of the busiest at this time;
|
|
and though Dorothea's widowhood was continually in his thought,
|
|
he was so far from wishing to be spoken to on the subject,
|
|
that when Lydgate sought him out to tell him what had passed about
|
|
the Lowick living, he answered rather waspishly--
|
|
|
|
"Why should you bring me into the matter? I never see Mrs. Casaubon,
|
|
and am not likely to see her, since she is at Freshitt.
|
|
I never go there. It is Tory ground, where I and the `Pioneer'
|
|
are no more welcome than a poacher and his gun."
|
|
|
|
The fact was that Will had been made the more susceptible by
|
|
observing that Mr. Brooke, instead of wishing him, as before,
|
|
to come to the Grange oftener than was quite agreeable to himself,
|
|
seemed now to contrive that he should go there as little as possible.
|
|
This was a shuffling concession of Mr. Brooke's to Sir James
|
|
Chettam's indignant remonstrance; and Will, awake to the slightest
|
|
hint in this direction, concluded that he was to be kept away from
|
|
the Grange on Dorothea's account. Her friends, then, regarded him
|
|
with some suspicion? Their fears were quite superfluous: they were
|
|
very much mistaken if they imagined that he would put himself
|
|
forward as a needy adventurer trying to win the favor of a rich woman.
|
|
|
|
Until now Will had never fully seen the chasm between himself
|
|
and Dorothea--until now that he was come to the brink of it, and saw
|
|
her on the other side. He began, not without some inward rage,
|
|
to think of going away from the neighborhood: it would be impossible
|
|
for him to show any further interest in Dorothea without subjecting
|
|
himself to disagreeable imputations--perhaps even in her mind,
|
|
which others might try to poison.
|
|
|
|
"We are forever divided," said Will. "I might as well be at Rome;
|
|
she would be no farther from me." But what we call our despair
|
|
is often only the painful eagerness of unfed hope. There were
|
|
plenty of reasons why he should not go--public reasons why he
|
|
should not quit his post at this crisis, leaving Mr. Brooke in the
|
|
lurch when he needed "coaching" for the election, and when there
|
|
was so much canvassing, direct and indirect, to be carried on.
|
|
Will could not like to leave his own chessmen in the heat of a game;
|
|
and any candidate on the right side, even if his brain and marrow
|
|
had been as soft as was consistent with a gentlemanly bearing,
|
|
might help to turn a majority. To coach Mr. Brooke and keep him
|
|
steadily to the idea that he must pledge himself to vote for the actual
|
|
Reform Bill, instead of insisting on his independence and power
|
|
of pulling up in time, was not an easy task. Mr. Farebrother's
|
|
prophecy of a fourth candidate "in the bag" had not yet been fulfilled,
|
|
neither the Parliamentary Candidate Society nor any other power
|
|
on the watch to secure a reforming majority seeing a worthy nodus
|
|
for interference while there was a second reforming candidate
|
|
like Mr. Brooke, who might be returned at his own expense;
|
|
and the fight lay entirely between Pinkerton the old Tory member,
|
|
Bagster the new Whig member returned at the last election, and Brooke
|
|
the future independent member, who was to fetter himself for this
|
|
occasion only. Mr. Hawley and his party would bend all their
|
|
forces to the return of Pinkerton, and Mr. Brooke's success must
|
|
depend either on plumpers which would leave Bagster in the rear,
|
|
or on the new minting of Tory votes into reforming votes.
|
|
The latter means, of course, would be preferable.
|
|
|
|
This prospect of converting votes was a dangerous distraction to
|
|
Mr. Brooke: his impression that waverers were likely to be allured
|
|
by wavering statements, and also the liability of his mind to stick
|
|
afresh at opposing arguments as they turned up in his memory,
|
|
gave Will Ladislaw much trouble.
|
|
|
|
"You know there are tactics in these things," said Mr. Brooke;
|
|
"meeting people half-way--tempering your ideas--saying, `Well now,
|
|
there's something in that,' and so on. I agree with you that this
|
|
is a peculiar occasion--the country with a will of its own--
|
|
political unions--that sort of thing--but we sometimes cut with rather
|
|
too sharp a knife, Ladislaw. These ten-pound householders, now:
|
|
why ten? Draw the line somewhere--yes: but why just at ten?
|
|
That's a difficult question, now, if you go into it."
|
|
|
|
"Of course it is," said Will, impatiently. "But if you are to wait
|
|
till we get a logical Bill, you must put yourself forward as
|
|
a revolutionist, and then Middlemarch would not elect you, I fancy.
|
|
As for trimming, this is not a time for trimming."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke always ended by agreeing with Ladislaw, who still
|
|
appeared to him a sort of Burke with a leaven of Shelley; but after
|
|
an interval the wisdom of his own methods reasserted itself,
|
|
and he was again drawn into using them with much hopefulness.
|
|
At this stage of affairs he was in excellent spirits, which even
|
|
supported him under large advances of money; for his powers
|
|
of convincing and persuading had not yet been, tested by anything
|
|
more difficult than a chairman's speech introducing other orators,
|
|
or a dialogue with a Middlemarch voter, from which he came away
|
|
with a sense that he was a tactician by nature, and that it
|
|
was a pity he had not gone earlier into this kind of thing.
|
|
He was a little conscious of defeat, however, with Mr. Mawmsey,
|
|
a chief representative in Middlemarch of that great social power,
|
|
the retail trader, and naturally one of the most doubtful voters
|
|
in the borough--willing for his own part to supply an equal quality
|
|
of teas and sugars to reformer and anti-reformer, as well as to agree
|
|
impartially with both, and feeling like the burgesses of old that
|
|
this necessity of electing members was a great burthen to a town;
|
|
for even if there were no danger in holding out hopes to all
|
|
parties beforehand, there would be the painful necessity at last
|
|
of disappointing respectable people whose names were on his books.
|
|
He was accustomed to receive large orders from Mr. Brooke of Tipton;
|
|
but then, there were many of Pinkerton's committee whose opinions
|
|
had a great weight of grocery on their side. Mr. Mawmsey thinking
|
|
that Mr. Brooke, as not too "clever in his intellects," was the more
|
|
likely to forgive a grocer who gave a hostile vote under pressure,
|
|
had become confidential in his back parlor.
|
|
|
|
"As to Reform, sir, put it in a family light," he said, rattling the
|
|
small silver in his pocket, and smiling affably. "Will it support
|
|
Mrs. Mawmsey, and enable her to bring up six children when I am no more?
|
|
I put the question FICTIOUSLY, knowing what must be the answer.
|
|
Very well, sir. I ask you what, as a husband and a father, I am
|
|
to do when gentlemen come to me and say, `Do as you like, Mawmsey;
|
|
but if you vote against us, I shall get my groceries elsewhere:
|
|
when I sugar my liquor I like to feel that I am benefiting the country
|
|
by maintaining tradesmen of the right color.' Those very words have
|
|
been spoken to me, sir, in the very chair where you are now sitting.
|
|
I don't mean by your honorable self, Mr. Brooke."
|
|
|
|
"No, no, no--that's narrow, you know. Until my butler complains
|
|
to me of your goods, Mr. Mawmsey," said Mr. Brooke, soothingly,
|
|
"until I hear that you send bad sugars, spices--that sort of thing--
|
|
I shall never order him to go elsewhere."
|
|
|
|
"Sir, I am your humble servant, and greatly obliged," said Mr. Mawmsey,
|
|
feeling that politics were clearing up a little. "There would be some
|
|
pleasure in voting for a gentleman who speaks in that honorable manner."
|
|
|
|
"Well, you know, Mr. Mawmsey, you would find it the right thing to put
|
|
yourself on our side. This Reform will touch everybody by-and-by--
|
|
a thoroughly popular measure--a sort of A, B, C, you know,
|
|
that must come first before the rest can follow. I quite agree
|
|
with you that you've got to look at the thing in a family light:
|
|
but public spirit, now. We're all one family, you know--
|
|
it's all one cupboard. Such a thing as a vote, now: why, it may
|
|
help to make men's fortunes at the Cape--there's no knowing
|
|
what may be the effect of a vote," Mr. Brooke ended, with a sense
|
|
of being a little out at sea, though finding it still enjoyable.
|
|
But Mr. Mawmsey answered in a tone of decisive check.
|
|
|
|
"I beg your pardon, sir, but I can't afford that. When I give a vote
|
|
I must know what I am doing; I must look to what will be the effects
|
|
on my till and ledger, speaking respectfully. Prices, I'll admit,
|
|
are what nobody can know the merits of; and the sudden falls after
|
|
you've bought in currants, which are a goods that will not keep--
|
|
I've never; myself seen into the ins and outs there; which is a rebuke
|
|
to human pride. But as to one family, there's debtor and creditor,
|
|
I hope; they're not going to reform that away; else I should vote
|
|
for things staying as they are. Few men have less need to cry
|
|
for change than I have, personally speaking--that is, for self
|
|
and family. I am not one of those who have nothing to lose:
|
|
I mean as to respectability both in parish and private business,
|
|
and noways in respect of your honorable self and custom, which you
|
|
was good enough to say you would not withdraw from me, vote or no vote,
|
|
while the article sent in was satisfactory."
|
|
|
|
After this conversation Mr. Mawmsey went up and boasted to his wife
|
|
that he had been rather too many for Brooke of Tipton, and that he
|
|
didn't mind so much now about going to the poll.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke on this occasion abstained from boasting of his tactics
|
|
to Ladislaw, who for his part was glad enough to persuade himself
|
|
that he had no concern with any canvassing except the purely
|
|
argumentative sort, and that he worked no meaner engine than knowledge.
|
|
Mr. Brooke, necessarily, had his agents, who understood the nature
|
|
of the Middlemarch voter and the means of enlisting his ignorance
|
|
on the side of the Bill--which were remarkably similar to the means
|
|
of enlisting it on the side against the Bill. Will stopped his ears.
|
|
Occasionally Parliament, like the rest of our lives, even to our
|
|
eating and apparel, could hardly go on if our imaginations were
|
|
too active about processes. There were plenty of dirty-handed men
|
|
in the world to do dirty business; and Will protested to himself
|
|
that his share in bringing Mr. Brooke through would be quite innocent.
|
|
|
|
But whether he should succeed in that mode of contributing
|
|
to the majority on the right side was very doubtful to him.
|
|
He had written out various speeches and memoranda for speeches,
|
|
but he had begun to perceive that Mr. Brooke's mind, if it had
|
|
the burthen of remembering any train of thought, would let it drop,
|
|
run away in search of it, and not easily come back again. To collect
|
|
documents is one mode of serving your country, and to remember
|
|
the contents of a document is another. No! the only way in which
|
|
Mr. Brooke could be coerced into thinking of the right arguments
|
|
at the right time was to be well plied with them till they took
|
|
up all the room in his brain. But here there was the difficulty
|
|
of finding room, so many things having been taken in beforehand.
|
|
Mr. Brooke himself observed that his ideas stood rather in his way
|
|
when he was speaking.
|
|
|
|
However, Ladislaw's coaching was forthwith to be put to the test,
|
|
for before the day of nomination Mr. Brooke was to explain himself to
|
|
the worthy electors of Middlemarch from the balcony of the White Hart,
|
|
which looked out advantageously at an angle of the market-place,
|
|
commanding a large area in front and two converging streets.
|
|
It was a fine May morning, and everything seemed hopeful:
|
|
there was some prospect of an understanding between Bagster's
|
|
committee and Brooke's, to which Mr. Bulstrode, Mr. Standish
|
|
as a Liberal lawyer, and such manufacturers as Mr. Plymdale and
|
|
Mr. Vincy, gave a solidity which almost counterbalanced Mr. Hawley
|
|
and his associates who sat for Pinkerton at the Green Dragon.
|
|
Mr. Brooke, conscious of having weakened the blasts of the "Trumpet"
|
|
against him, by his reforms as a landlord in the last half year,
|
|
and hearing himself cheered a little as he drove into the town,
|
|
felt his heart tolerably light under his buff-colored waistcoat.
|
|
But with regard to critical occasions, it often happens that all moments
|
|
seem comfortably remote until the last.
|
|
|
|
"This looks well, eh?" said Mr. Brooke as the crowd gathered.
|
|
"I shall have a good audience, at any rate. I like this, now--
|
|
this kind of public made up of one's own neighbors, you know."
|
|
|
|
The weavers and tanners of Middlemarch, unlike Mr. Mawmsey, had never
|
|
thought of Mr. Brooke as a neighbor, and were not more attached
|
|
to him than if he had been sent in a box from London. But they
|
|
listened without much disturbance to the speakers who introduced
|
|
the candidate, one of them--a political personage from Brassing,
|
|
who came to tell Middlemarch its duty--spoke so fully, that it was
|
|
alarming to think what the candidate could find to say after him.
|
|
Meanwhile the crowd became denser, and as the political personage
|
|
neared the end of his speech, Mr. Brooke felt a remarkable change
|
|
in his sensations while he still handled his eye-glass, trifled
|
|
with documents before him, and exchanged remarks with his committee,
|
|
as a man to whom the moment of summons was indifferent.
|
|
|
|
"I'll take another glass of sherry, Ladislaw," he said, with an
|
|
easy air, to Will, who was close behind him, and presently handed
|
|
him the supposed fortifier. It was ill-chosen; for Mr. Brooke
|
|
was an abstemious man, and to drink a second glass of sherry
|
|
quickly at no great interval from the first was a surprise
|
|
to his system which tended to scatter his energies instead of
|
|
collecting them Pray pity him: so many English gentlemen make
|
|
themselves miserable by speechifying on entirely private grounds!
|
|
whereas Mr. Brooke wished to serve his country by standing
|
|
for Parliament--which, indeed, may also be done on private grounds,
|
|
but being once undertaken does absolutely demand some speechifying.
|
|
|
|
It was not about the beginning of his speech that Mr. Brooke was at
|
|
all anxious; this, he felt sure, would be all right; he should have
|
|
it quite pat, cut out as neatly as a set of couplets from Pope.
|
|
Embarking would be easy, but the vision of open sea that might
|
|
come after was alarming. "And questions, now," hinted the demon
|
|
just waking up in his stomach, "somebody may put questions
|
|
about the schedules.--Ladislaw," he continued, aloud, "just hand
|
|
me the memorandum of the schedules."
|
|
|
|
When Mr. Brooke presented himself on the balcony, the cheers were
|
|
quite loud enough to counterbalance the yells, groans, brayings,
|
|
and other expressions of adverse theory, which were so moderate that
|
|
Mr. Standish (decidedly an old bird) observed in the ear next to him,
|
|
"This looks dangerous, by God! Hawley has got some deeper plan
|
|
than this." Still, the cheers were exhilarating, and no candidate
|
|
could look more amiable than Mr. Brooke, with the memorandum
|
|
in his breast-pocket, his left hand on the rail of the balcony,
|
|
and his right trifling with his eye-glass. The striking points
|
|
in his appearance were his buff waistcoat, short-clipped blond hair,
|
|
and neutral physiognomy. He began with some confidence.
|
|
|
|
"Gentlemen--Electors of Middlemarch!"
|
|
|
|
This was so much the right thing that a little pause after it
|
|
seemed natural.
|
|
|
|
"I'm uncommonly glad to be here--I was never so proud and happy
|
|
in my life--never so happy, you know."
|
|
|
|
This was a bold figure of speech, but not exactly the right thing;
|
|
for, unhappily, the pat opening had slipped away--even couplets
|
|
from Pope may be but "fallings from us, vanishings," when fear
|
|
clutches us, and a glass of sherry is hurrying like smoke among
|
|
our ideas. Ladislaw, who stood at the window behind the speaker,
|
|
thought, "it's all up now. The only chance is that, since the best
|
|
thing won't always do, floundering may answer for once." Mr. Brooke,
|
|
meanwhile, having lost other clews, fell back on himself and his
|
|
qualifications--always an appropriate graceful subject for a candidate.
|
|
|
|
"I am a close neighbor of yours, my good friends--you've known
|
|
me on the bench a good while--I've always gone a good deal into
|
|
public questions--machinery, now, and machine-breaking--you're many
|
|
of you concerned with machinery, and I've been going into that lately.
|
|
It won't do, you know, breaking machines: everything must go on--
|
|
trade, manufactures, commerce, interchange of staples--that kind
|
|
of thing--since Adam Smith, that must go on. We must look all over
|
|
the globe:--`Observation with extensive view,' must look everywhere,
|
|
`from China to Peru,' as somebody says--Johnson, I think, `The Rambler,'
|
|
you know. That is what I have done up to a certain point--not as far
|
|
as Peru; but I've not always stayed at home--I saw it wouldn't do.
|
|
I've been in the Levant, where some of your Middlemarch goods go--
|
|
and then, again, in the Baltic. The Baltic, now."
|
|
|
|
Plying among his recollections in this way, Mr. Brooke might have
|
|
got along, easily to himself, and would have come back from the
|
|
remotest seas without trouble; but a diabolical procedure had been set
|
|
up by the enemy. At one and the same moment there had risen above
|
|
the shoulders of the crowd, nearly opposite Mr. Brooke, and within
|
|
ten yards of him, the effigy of himself: buff-colored waistcoat,
|
|
eye-glass, and neutral physiognomy, painted on rag; and there
|
|
had arisen, apparently in the air, like the note of the cuckoo,
|
|
a parrot-like, Punch-voiced echo of his words. Everybody looked
|
|
up at the open windows in the houses at the opposite angles
|
|
of the converging streets; but they were either blank, or filled
|
|
by laughing listeners. The most innocent echo has an impish mockery
|
|
in it when it follows a gravely persistent speaker, and this echo
|
|
was not at all innocent; if it did not follow with the precision
|
|
of a natural echo, it had a wicked choice of the words it overtook.
|
|
By the time it said, "The Baltic, now," the laugh which had been
|
|
running through the audience became a general shout, and but for
|
|
the sobering effects of party and that great public cause which
|
|
the entanglement of things had identified with "Brooke of Tipton,"
|
|
the laugh might have caught his committee. Mr. Bulstrode asked,
|
|
reprehensively, what the new police was doing; but a voice could not
|
|
well be collared, and an attack on the effigy of the candidate would
|
|
have been too equivocal, since Hawley probably meant it to be pelted.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke himself was not in a position to be quickly conscious
|
|
of anything except a general slipping away of ideas within himself:
|
|
he had even a little singing in the ears, and he was the only person
|
|
who had not yet taken distinct account of the echo or discerned the
|
|
image of himself. Few things hold the perceptions more thoroughly
|
|
captive than anxiety about what we have got to say. Mr. Brooke heard
|
|
the laughter; but he had expected some Tory efforts at disturbance,
|
|
and he was at this moment additionally excited by the tickling,
|
|
stinging sense that his lost exordium was coming back to fetch him
|
|
from the Baltic.
|
|
|
|
"That reminds me," he went on, thrusting a hand into his side-pocket,
|
|
with an easy air, "if I wanted a precedent, you know--but we never want
|
|
a precedent for the right thing--but there is Chatham, now; I can't
|
|
say I should have supported Chatham, or Pitt, the younger Pitt--
|
|
he was not a man of ideas, and we want ideas, you know."
|
|
|
|
"Blast your ideas! we want the Bill," said a loud rough voice
|
|
from the crowd below.
|
|
|
|
Immediately the invisible Punch, who had hitherto followed
|
|
Mr. Brooke, repeated, "Blast your ideas! we want the Bill."
|
|
The laugh was louder than ever, and for the first time Mr. Brooke
|
|
being himself silent, heard distinctly the mocking echo. But it
|
|
seemed to ridicule his interrupter, and in that light was encouraging;
|
|
so he replied with amenity--
|
|
|
|
"There is something in what you say, my good friend, and what do we
|
|
meet for but to speak our minds--freedom of opinion, freedom of
|
|
the press, liberty--that kind of thing? The Bill, now--you shall have
|
|
the Bill"--here Mr. Brooke paused a moment to fix on his eye-glass
|
|
and take the paper from his breast-pocket, with a sense of being
|
|
practical and coming to particulars. The invisible Punch followed:--
|
|
|
|
"You shall have the Bill, Mr. Brooke, per electioneering contest,
|
|
and a seat outside Parliament as delivered, five thousand pounds,
|
|
seven shillings, and fourpence."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke, amid the roars of laughter, turned red, let his eye-glass
|
|
fall, and looking about him confusedly, saw the image of himself,
|
|
which had come nearer. The next moment he saw it dolorously
|
|
bespattered with eggs. His spirit rose a little, and his voice too.
|
|
|
|
"Buffoonery, tricks, ridicule the test of truth--all that is very
|
|
well"--here an unpleasant egg broke on Mr. Brooke's shoulder,
|
|
as the echo said, "All that is very well;" then came a hail of eggs,
|
|
chiefly aimed at the image, but occasionally hitting the original,
|
|
as if by chance. There was a stream of new men pushing among
|
|
the crowd; whistles, yells, bellowings, and fifes made all the greater
|
|
hubbub because there was shouting and struggling to put them down.
|
|
No voice would have had wing enough to rise above the uproar,
|
|
and Mr. Brooke, disagreeably anointed, stood his ground no longer.
|
|
The frustration would have been less exasperating if it had been
|
|
less gamesome and boyish: a serious assault of which the newspaper
|
|
reporter "can aver that it endangered the learned gentleman's ribs,"
|
|
or can respectfully bear witness to "the soles of that gentleman's boots
|
|
having been visible above the railing," has perhaps more consolations
|
|
attached to it.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke re-entered the committee-room, saying, as carelessly
|
|
as he could, "This is a little too bad, you know. I should have got
|
|
the ear of the people by-and-by--but they didn't give me time.
|
|
I should have gone into the Bill by-and-by, you know," he added,
|
|
glancing at Ladislaw. "However, things will come all right at
|
|
the nomination."
|
|
|
|
But it was not resolved unanimously that things would come right;
|
|
on the contrary, the committee looked rather grim, and the political
|
|
personage from Brassing was writing busily, as if he were brewing
|
|
new devices.
|
|
|
|
"It was Bowyer who did it," said Mr. Standish, evasively. "I know
|
|
it as well as if he had been advertised. He's uncommonly good
|
|
at ventriloquism, and he did it uncommonly well, by God! Hawley has
|
|
been having him to dinner lately: there's a fund of talent in Bowyer."
|
|
|
|
"Well, you know, you never mentioned him to me, Standish, else I
|
|
would have invited him to dine," said poor Mr. Brooke, who had gone
|
|
through a great deal of inviting for the good of his country.
|
|
|
|
"There's not a more paltry fellow in Middlemarch than Bowyer,"
|
|
said Ladislaw, indignantly, "but it seems as if the paltry fellows
|
|
were always to turn the scale."
|
|
|
|
Will was thoroughly out of temper with himself as well as with his
|
|
"principal," and he went to shut himself in his rooms with a half-formed
|
|
resolve to throw up the "Pioneer" and Mr. Brooke together.
|
|
Why should he stay? If the impassable gulf between himself and
|
|
Dorothea were ever to be filled up, it must rather be by his going
|
|
away and getting into a thoroughly different position than by staying
|
|
here and slipping into deserved contempt as an understrapper of
|
|
Brooke's. Then came the young dream of wonders that he might do--
|
|
in five years, for example: political writing, political speaking,
|
|
would get a higher value now public life was going to be wider and
|
|
more national, and they might give him such distinction that he would
|
|
not seem to be asking Dorothea to step down to him. Five years:--
|
|
if he could only be sure that she cared for him more than for others;
|
|
if he could only make her aware that he stood aloof until he could
|
|
tell his love without lowering himself--then he could go away easily,
|
|
and begin a career which at five-and-twenty seemed probable enough
|
|
in the inward order of things, where talent brings fame, and fame
|
|
everything else which is delightful. He could speak and he could write;
|
|
he could master any subject if he chose, and he meant always to take
|
|
the side of reason and justice, on which he would carry all his ardor.
|
|
Why should he not one day be lifted above the shoulders of the crowd,
|
|
and feel that he had won that eminence well? Without doubt he would
|
|
leave Middlemarch, go to town, and make himself fit for celebrity
|
|
by "eating his dinners."
|
|
|
|
But not immediately: not until some kind of sign had passed between
|
|
him and Dorothea. He could not be satisfied until she knew why,
|
|
even if he were the man she would choose to marry, he would not
|
|
marry her. Hence he must keep his post and bear with Mr. Brooke
|
|
a little longer.
|
|
|
|
But he soon had reason to suspect that Mr. Brooke had
|
|
anticipated him in the wish to break up their connection.
|
|
Deputations without and voices within had concurred in inducing
|
|
that philanthropist to take a stronger measure than usual for the
|
|
good of mankind; namely, to withdraw in favor of another candidate,
|
|
to whom he left the advantages of his canvassing machinery.
|
|
He himself called this a strong measure, but observed that
|
|
his health was less capable of sustaining excitement than he had imagined.
|
|
|
|
"I have felt uneasy about the chest--it won't do to carry that too far,"
|
|
he said to Ladislaw in explaining the affair. "I must pull up.
|
|
Poor Casaubon was a warning, you know. I've made some heavy advances,
|
|
but I've dug a channel. It's rather coarse work--this electioneering,
|
|
eh, Ladislaw? dare say you are tired of it. However, we have dug
|
|
a channel with the `Pioneer'--put things in a track, and so on.
|
|
A more ordinary man than you might carry it on now--more ordinary,
|
|
you know."
|
|
|
|
"Do you wish me to give it up?" said Will, the quick color coming
|
|
in his face, as he rose from the writing-table, and took a turn
|
|
of three steps with his hands in his pockets. "I am ready to do
|
|
so whenever you wish it."
|
|
|
|
"As to wishing, my dear Ladislaw, I have the highest opinion of
|
|
your powers, you know. But about the `Pioneer,' I have been consulting
|
|
a little with some of the men on our side, and they are inclined to take
|
|
it into their hands--indemnify me to a certain extent--carry it on,
|
|
in fact. And under the circumstances, you might like to give up--
|
|
might find a better field. These people might not take that high view
|
|
of you which I have always taken, as an alter ego, a right hand--
|
|
though I always looked forward to your doing something else.
|
|
I think of having a run into France. But I'll write you any letters,
|
|
you know--to Althorpe and people of that kind. I've met Althorpe."
|
|
|
|
"I am exceedingly obliged to you," said Ladislaw, proudly. "Since you
|
|
are going to part with the `Pioneer,' I need not trouble you about
|
|
the steps I shall take. I may choose to continue here for the present."
|
|
|
|
After Mr. Brooke had left him Will said to himself, "The rest
|
|
of the family have been urging him to get rid of me, and he
|
|
doesn't care now about my going. I shall stay as long as I like.
|
|
I shall go of my own movements and not because they are afraid
|
|
of me."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"His heart
|
|
The lowliest duties on itself did lay."
|
|
--WORDSWORTH.
|
|
|
|
|
|
On that June evening when Mr. Farebrother knew that he was to have
|
|
the Lowick living, there was joy in the old fashioned parlor,
|
|
and even the portraits of the great lawyers seemed to look on
|
|
with satisfaction. His mother left her tea and toast untouched,
|
|
but sat with her usual pretty primness, only showing her emotion by
|
|
that flush in the cheeks and brightness in the eyes which give an old
|
|
woman a touching momentary identity with her far-off youthful self,
|
|
and saying decisively--
|
|
|
|
"The greatest comfort, Camden, is that you have deserved it."
|
|
|
|
"When a man gets a good berth, mother, half the deserving must
|
|
come after," said the son, brimful of pleasure, and not trying
|
|
to conceal it. The gladness in his face was of that active kind
|
|
which seems to have energy enough not only to flash outwardly,
|
|
but to light up busy vision within: one seemed to see thoughts,
|
|
as well as delight, in his glances.
|
|
|
|
"Now, aunt," he went on, rubbing his hands and looking at Miss Noble,
|
|
who was making tender little beaver-like noises, "There shall
|
|
be sugar-candy always on the table for you to steal and give
|
|
to the children, and you shall have a great many new stockings
|
|
to make presents of, and you shall darn your own more than ever!"
|
|
|
|
Miss Noble nodded at her nephew with a subdued half-frightened laugh,
|
|
conscious of having already dropped an additional lump of sugar
|
|
into her basket on the strength of the new preferment.
|
|
|
|
"As for you, Winny"--the Vicar went on--"I shall make no difficulty
|
|
about your marrying any Lowick bachelor--Mr. Solomon Featherstone,
|
|
for example, as soon as I find you are in love with him."
|
|
|
|
Miss Winifred, who had been looking at her brother all the while
|
|
and crying heartily, which was her way of rejoicing, smiled through
|
|
her tears and said, "You must set me the example, Cam: YOU
|
|
must marry now."
|
|
|
|
"With all my heart. But who is in love with me? I am a seedy
|
|
old fellow," said the Vicar, rising, pushing his chair away
|
|
and looking down at himself. "What do you say, mother?"
|
|
|
|
"You are a handsome man, Camden: though not so fine a figure
|
|
of a man as your father," said the old lady.
|
|
|
|
"I wish you would marry Miss Garth, brother," said Miss Winifred.
|
|
"She would make us so lively at Lowick."
|
|
|
|
"Very fine! You talk as if young women were tied up to be chosen,
|
|
like poultry at market; as if I had only to ask and everybody would
|
|
have me," said the Vicar, not caring to specify.
|
|
|
|
"We don't want everybody," said Miss Winifred. "But YOU would
|
|
like Miss Garth, mother, shouldn't you?"
|
|
|
|
"My son's choice shall be mine," said Mrs. Farebrother,
|
|
with majestic discretion, "and a wife would be most welcome,
|
|
Camden. You will want your whist at home when we go to Lowick,
|
|
and Henrietta Noble never was a whist-player." (Mrs. Farebrother
|
|
always called her tiny old sister by that magnificent name.)
|
|
|
|
"I shall do without whist now, mother."
|
|
|
|
"Why so, Camden? In my time whist was thought an undeniable
|
|
amusement for a good churchman," said Mrs. Farebrother, innocent of
|
|
the meaning that whist had for her son, and speaking rather sharply,
|
|
as at some dangerous countenancing of new doctrine.
|
|
|
|
"I shall be too busy for whist; I shall have two parishes,"
|
|
said the Vicar, preferring not to discuss the virtues of that game.
|
|
|
|
He had already said to Dorothea, "I don't feel bound to give
|
|
up St. Botolph's. It is protest enough against the pluralism
|
|
they want to reform if I give somebody else most of the money.
|
|
The stronger thing is not to give up power, but to use it well."
|
|
|
|
"I have thought of that," said Dorothea. "So far as self is concerned,
|
|
I think it would be easier to give up power and money than to keep them.
|
|
It seems very unfitting that I should have this patronage, yet I
|
|
felt that I ought not to let it be used by some one else instead
|
|
of me."
|
|
|
|
"It is I who am bound to act so that you will not regret your power,"
|
|
said Mr. Farebrother.
|
|
|
|
His was one of the natures in which conscience gets the more active
|
|
when the yoke of life ceases to gall them. He made no display
|
|
of humility on the subject, but in his heart he felt rather ashamed
|
|
that his conduct had shown laches which others who did not get
|
|
benefices were free from.
|
|
|
|
"I used often to wish I had been something else than a clergyman,"
|
|
he said to Lydgate, "but perhaps it will be better to try and
|
|
make as good a clergyman out of myself as I can. That is the
|
|
well-beneficed point of view, you perceive, from which difficulties
|
|
are much simplified," he ended, smiling.
|
|
|
|
The Vicar did feel then as if his share of duties would be easy.
|
|
But Duty has a trick of behaving unexpectedly--something like a heavy
|
|
friend whom we have amiably asked to visit us, and who breaks his leg
|
|
within our gates.
|
|
|
|
Hardly a week later, Duty presented itself in his study under
|
|
the disguise of Fred Vincy, now returned from Omnibus College
|
|
with his bachelor's degree.
|
|
|
|
"I am ashamed to trouble you, Mr. Farebrother," said Fred,
|
|
whose fair open face was propitiating, "but you are the only
|
|
friend I can consult. I told you everything once before,
|
|
and you were so good that I can't help coming to you again."
|
|
|
|
"Sit down, Fred, I'm ready to hear and do anything I can,"
|
|
said the Vicar, who was busy packing some small objects for removal,
|
|
and went on with his work.
|
|
|
|
"I wanted to tell you--" Fred hesitated an instant and then went
|
|
on plungingly, "I might go into the Church now; and really,
|
|
look where I may, I can't see anything else to do. I don't
|
|
like it, but I know it's uncommonly hard on my father to say so,
|
|
after he has spent a good deal of money in educating me for it."
|
|
Fred paused again an instant, and then repeated, "and I can't see
|
|
anything else to do."
|
|
|
|
"I did talk to your father about it, Fred, but I made little way
|
|
with him. He said it was too late. But you have got over one
|
|
bridge now: what are your other difficulties?"
|
|
|
|
"Merely that I don't like it. I don't like divinity, and preaching,
|
|
and feeling obliged to look serious. I like riding across country,
|
|
and doing as other men do. I don't mean that I want to be a bad
|
|
fellow in any way; but I've no taste for the sort of thing
|
|
people expect of a clergyman. And yet what else am I to do?
|
|
My father can't spare me any capital, else I might go into farming.
|
|
And he has no room for me in his trade. And of course I can't
|
|
begin to study for law or physic now, when my father wants me
|
|
to earn something. It's all very well to say I'm wrong to go into
|
|
the Church; but those who say so might as well tell me to go into
|
|
the backwoods."
|
|
|
|
Fred's voice had taken a tone of grumbling remonstrance,
|
|
and Mr. Farebrother might have been inclined to smile
|
|
if his mind had not been too busy in imagining more than Fred told him.
|
|
|
|
"Have you any difficulties about doctrines--about the Articles?"
|
|
he said, trying hard to think of the question simply for Fred's sake.
|
|
|
|
"No; I suppose the Articles are right. I am not prepared with any
|
|
arguments to disprove them, and much better, cleverer fellows than I
|
|
am go in for them entirely. I think it would be rather ridiculous
|
|
in me to urge scruples of that sort, as if I were a judge,"
|
|
said Fred, quite simply.
|
|
|
|
"I suppose, then, it has occurred to you that you might be a fair
|
|
parish priest without being much of a divine?"
|
|
|
|
"Of course, if I am obliged to be a clergyman, I shall try and do
|
|
my duty, though I mayn't like it. Do you think any body ought
|
|
to blame me?"
|
|
|
|
"For going into the Church under the circumstances? That depends
|
|
on your conscience, Fred--how far you have counted the cost,
|
|
and seen what your position will require of you. I can only tell
|
|
you about myself, that I have always been too lax, and have been
|
|
uneasy in consequence."
|
|
|
|
"But there is another hindrance," said Fred, coloring. "I did
|
|
not tell you before, though perhaps I may have said things
|
|
that made you guess it. There is somebody I am very fond of:
|
|
I have loved her ever since we were children."
|
|
|
|
"Miss Garth, I suppose?" said the Vicar, examining some labels
|
|
very closely.
|
|
|
|
"Yes. I shouldn't mind anything if she would have me. And I know
|
|
I could be a good fellow then."
|
|
|
|
"And you think she returns the feeling?"
|
|
|
|
"She never will say so; and a good while ago she made me promise not
|
|
to speak to her about it again. And she has set her mind especially
|
|
against my being a clergyman; I know that. But I can't give her up.
|
|
I do think she cares about me. I saw Mrs. Garth last night, and she
|
|
said that Mary was staying at Lowick Rectory with Miss Farebrother."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, she is very kindly helping my sister. Do you wish to go there?"
|
|
|
|
"No, I want to ask a great favor of you. I am ashamed to bother
|
|
you in this way; but Mary might listen to what you said, if you
|
|
mentioned the subject to her--I mean about my going into the Church."
|
|
|
|
"That is rather a delicate task, my dear Fred. I shall have to
|
|
presuppose your attachment to her; and to enter on the subject as you
|
|
wish me to do, will be asking her to tell me whether she returns it."
|
|
|
|
"That is what I want her to tell you," said Fred, bluntly. "I don't
|
|
know what to do, unless I can get at her feeling."
|
|
|
|
"You mean that you would be guided by that as to your going into
|
|
the Church?"
|
|
|
|
"If Mary said she would never have me I might as well go wrong
|
|
in one way as another."
|
|
|
|
"That is nonsense, Fred. Men outlive their love, but they don't
|
|
outlive the consequences of their recklessness."
|
|
|
|
"Not my sort of love: I have never been without loving Mary.
|
|
If I had to give her up, it would be like beginning to live on
|
|
wooden legs."
|
|
|
|
"Will she not be hurt at my intrusion?"
|
|
|
|
"No, I feel sure she will not. She respects you more than any one,
|
|
and she would not put you off with fun as she does me. Of course I
|
|
could not have told any one else, or asked any one else to speak to her,
|
|
but you. There is no one else who could be such a friend to both
|
|
of us." Fred paused a moment, and then said, rather complainingly,
|
|
"And she ought to acknowledge that I have worked in order to pass.
|
|
She ought to believe that I would exert myself for her sake."
|
|
|
|
There was a moment's silence before Mr. Farebrother laid down his work,
|
|
and putting out his hand to Fred said--
|
|
|
|
"Very well, my boy. I will do what you wish."
|
|
|
|
That very day Mr. Farebrother went to Lowick parsonage on the nag
|
|
which he had just set up. "Decidedly I am an old stalk," he thought,
|
|
"the young growths are pushing me aside."
|
|
|
|
He found Mary in the garden gathering roses and sprinkling the petals
|
|
on a sheet. The sun was low, and tall trees sent their shadows across
|
|
the grassy walks where Mary was moving without bonnet or parasol.
|
|
She did not observe Mr. Farebrother's approach along the grass,
|
|
and had just stooped down to lecture a small black-and-tan terrier,
|
|
which would persist in walking on the sheet and smelling at the
|
|
rose-leaves as Mary sprinkled them. She took his fore-paws in one hand,
|
|
and lifted up the forefinger of the other, while the dog wrinkled
|
|
his brows and looked embarrassed. "Fly, Fly, I am ashamed of you,"
|
|
Mary was saying in a grave contralto. "This is not becoming in a
|
|
sensible dog; anybody would think you were a silly young gentleman."
|
|
|
|
"You are unmerciful to young gentlemen, Miss Garth," said the Vicar,
|
|
within two yards of her.
|
|
|
|
Mary started up and blushed. "It always answers to reason with Fly,"
|
|
she said, laughingly.
|
|
|
|
"But not with young gentlemen?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, with some, I suppose; since some of them turn into excellent men."
|
|
|
|
"I am glad of that admission, because I want at this very moment
|
|
to interest you in a young gentleman."
|
|
|
|
"Not a silly one, I hope," said Mary, beginning to pluck
|
|
the roses again, and feeling her heart beat uncomfortably.
|
|
|
|
"No; though perhaps wisdom is not his strong point,
|
|
but rather affection and sincerity. However, wisdom lies
|
|
more in those two qualities than people are apt to imagine.
|
|
I hope you know by those marks what young gentleman I mean."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I think I do," said Mary, bravely, her face getting more serious,
|
|
and her hands cold; "it must be Fred Vincy."
|
|
|
|
"He has asked me to consult you about his going into the Church.
|
|
I hope you will not think that I consented to take a liberty in
|
|
promising to do so."
|
|
|
|
"On the contrary, Mr. Farebrother," said Mary, giving up the roses,
|
|
and folding her arms, but unable to look up, "whenever you have
|
|
anything to say to me I feel honored."
|
|
|
|
"But before I enter on that question, let me just touch a point on
|
|
which your father took me into confidence; by the way, it was that
|
|
very evening on which I once before fulfilled a mission from Fred,
|
|
just after he had gone to college. Mr. Garth told me what happened
|
|
on the night of Featherstone's death--how you refused to burn the will;
|
|
and he said that you had some heart-prickings on that subject,
|
|
because you had been the innocent means of hindering Fred from
|
|
getting his ten thousand pounds. I have kept that in mind,
|
|
and I have heard something that may relieve you on that score--
|
|
may show you that no sin-offering is demanded from you there.".
|
|
|
|
Mr. Farebrother paused a moment and looked at Mary. He meant
|
|
to give Fred his full advantage, but it would be well, he thought,
|
|
to clear her mind of any superstitions, such as women sometimes follow
|
|
when they do a man the wrong of marrying him as an act of atonement.
|
|
Mary's cheeks had begun to burn a little, and she was mute.
|
|
|
|
"I mean, that your action made no real difference to Fred's lot.
|
|
I find that the first will would not have been legally good after the
|
|
burning of the last; it would not have stood if it had been disputed,
|
|
and you may be sure it would have been disputed. So, on that score,
|
|
you may feel your mind free."
|
|
|
|
"Thank you, Mr. Farebrother," said Mary, earnestly. "I am grateful
|
|
to you for remembering my feelings."
|
|
|
|
"Well, now I may go on. Fred, you know, has taken his degree.
|
|
He has worked his way so far, and now the question is, what is
|
|
he to do? That question is so difficult that he is inclined to
|
|
follow his father's wishes and enter the Church, though you know
|
|
better than I do that he was quite set against that formerly.
|
|
I have questioned him on the subject, and I confess I see no
|
|
insuperable objection to his being a clergyman, as things go.
|
|
He says that he could turn his mind to doing his best in that vocation,
|
|
on one condition. If that condition were fulfilled I would do my
|
|
utmost in helping Fred on. After a time--not, of course, at first--
|
|
he might be with me as my curate, and he would have so much to do
|
|
that his stipend would be nearly what I used to get as vicar.
|
|
But I repeat that there is a condition without which all this good
|
|
cannot come to pass. He has opened his heart to me, Miss Garth,
|
|
and asked me to plead for him. The condition lies entirely in
|
|
your feeling."
|
|
|
|
Mary looked so much moved, that he said after a moment, "Let us
|
|
walk a little;" and when they were walking he added, "To speak
|
|
quite plainly, Fred will not take any course which would lessen the
|
|
chance that you would consent to be his wife; but with that prospect,
|
|
he will try his best at anything you approve."
|
|
|
|
"I cannot possibly say that I will ever be his wife, Mr. Farebrother:
|
|
but I certainly never will be his wife if he becomes a clergyman.
|
|
What you say is most generous and kind; I don't mean for a moment
|
|
to correct your judgment. It is only that I have my girlish,
|
|
mocking way of looking at things," said Mary, with a returning
|
|
sparkle of playfulness in her answer which only made its modesty
|
|
more charming.
|
|
|
|
"He wishes me to report exactly what you think," said Mr. Farebrother.
|
|
|
|
"I could not love a man who is ridiculous," said Mary, not choosing to
|
|
go deeper. "Fred has sense and knowledge enough to make him respectable,
|
|
if he likes, in some good worldly business, but I can never imagine
|
|
him preaching and exhorting, and pronouncing blessings, and praying
|
|
by the sick, without feeling as if I were looking at a caricature.
|
|
His being a clergyman would be only for gentility's sake, and I think
|
|
there is nothing more contemptible than such imbecile gentility.
|
|
I used to think that of Mr. Crowse, with his empty face and neat
|
|
umbrella, and mincing little speeches. What right have such men
|
|
to represent Christianity--as if it were an institution for getting up
|
|
idiots genteelly--as if--" Mary checked herself. She had been carried
|
|
along as if she had been speaking to Fred instead of Mr. Farebrother.
|
|
|
|
"Young women are severe: they don't feel the stress of action
|
|
as men do, though perhaps I ought to make you an exception there.
|
|
But you don't put Fred Vincy on so low a level as that?"
|
|
|
|
"No, indeed, he has plenty of sense, but I think he would not show
|
|
it as a clergyman. He would be a piece of professional affectation."
|
|
|
|
"Then the answer is quite decided. As a clergyman he could have
|
|
no hope?"
|
|
|
|
Mary shook her head.
|
|
|
|
"But if he braved all the difficulties of getting his bread
|
|
in some other way--will you give him the support of hope?
|
|
May he count on winning you?"
|
|
|
|
"I think Fred ought not to need telling again what I have already
|
|
said to him," Mary answered, with a slight resentment in her manner.
|
|
"I mean that he ought not to put such questions until he has done
|
|
something worthy, instead of saying that he could do it."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Farebrother was silent for a minute or more, and then, as they
|
|
turned and paused under the shadow of a maple at the end of a grassy
|
|
walk, said, "I understand that you resist any attempt to fetter you,
|
|
but either your feeling for Fred Vincy excludes your entertaining
|
|
another attachment, or it does not: either he may count on your
|
|
remaining single until he shall have earned your hand, or he may in any
|
|
case be disappointed. Pardon me, Mary--you know I used to catechise
|
|
you under that name--but when the state of a woman's affections
|
|
touches the happiness of another life--of more lives than one--I think
|
|
it would be the nobler course for her to be perfectly direct and open."
|
|
|
|
Mary in her turn was silent, wondering not at Mr. Farebrother's
|
|
manner but at his tone, which had a grave restrained emotion in it.
|
|
When the strange idea flashed across her that his words had reference
|
|
to himself, she was incredulous, and ashamed of entertaining it.
|
|
She had never thought that any man could love her except Fred,
|
|
who had espoused her with the umbrella ring, when she wore socks
|
|
and little strapped shoes; still less that she could be of any
|
|
importance to Mr. Farebrother, the cleverest man in her narrow circle.
|
|
She had only time to feel that all this was hazy and perhaps illusory;
|
|
but one thing was clear and determined--her answer.
|
|
|
|
"Since you think it my duty, Mr. Farebrother, I will tell you
|
|
that I have too strong a feeling for Fred to give him up for any
|
|
one else. I should never be quite happy if I thought he was
|
|
unhappy for the loss of me. It has taken such deep root in me--
|
|
my gratitude to him for always loving me best, and minding so much
|
|
if I hurt myself, from the time when we were very little. I cannot
|
|
imagine any new feeling coming to make that weaker. I should like
|
|
better than anything to see him worthy of every one's respect.
|
|
But please tell him I will not promise to marry him till then:
|
|
I should shame and grieve my father and mother. He is free to choose
|
|
some one else."
|
|
|
|
"Then I have fulfilled my commission thoroughly,"
|
|
said Mr. Farebrother, putting out his hand to Mary,
|
|
"and I shall ride back to Middlemarch forthwith. With this
|
|
prospect before him, we shall get Fred into the right niche
|
|
somehow, and I hope I shall live to join your hands. God bless you!"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, please stay, and let me give you some tea," said Mary.
|
|
Her eyes filled with tears, for something indefinable, something like
|
|
the resolute suppression of a pain in Mr. Farebrother's manner,
|
|
made her feel suddenly miserable, as she had once felt when she saw
|
|
her father's hands trembling in a moment of trouble.
|
|
|
|
"No, my dear, no. I must get back."
|
|
|
|
In three minutes the Vicar was on horseback again, having gone
|
|
magnanimously through a duty much harder than the renunciation
|
|
of whist, or even than the writing of penitential meditations.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LIII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
It is but a shallow haste which concludeth insincerity from what
|
|
outsiders call inconsistency--putting a dead mechanism of "ifs"
|
|
and "therefores" for the living myriad of hidden suckers whereby
|
|
the belief and the conduct are wrought into mutual sustainment.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode, when he was hoping to acquire a new interest in Lowick,
|
|
had naturally had an especial wish that the new clergyman should be one
|
|
whom he thoroughly approved; and he believed it to be a chastisement
|
|
and admonition directed to his own shortcomings and those of the nation
|
|
at large, that just about the time when he came in possession of the
|
|
deeds which made him the proprietor of Stone Court, Mr. Farebrother
|
|
"read himself" into the quaint little church and preached his first
|
|
sermon to the congregation of farmers, laborers, and village artisans.
|
|
It was not that Mr. Bulstrode intended to frequent Lowick Church
|
|
or to reside at Stone Court for a good while to come: he had
|
|
bought the excellent farm and fine homestead simply as a retreat
|
|
which he might gradually enlarge as to the land and beautify as
|
|
to the dwelling, until it should be conducive to the divine glory
|
|
that he should enter on it as a residence, partially withdrawing
|
|
from his present exertions in the administration of business,
|
|
and throwing more conspicuously on the side of Gospel truth the weight
|
|
of local landed proprietorship, which Providence might increase by
|
|
unforeseen occasions of purchase. A strong leading in this direction
|
|
seemed to have been given in the surprising facility of getting
|
|
Stone Court, when every one had expected that Mr. Rigg Featherstone
|
|
would have clung to it as the Garden of Eden. That was what poor
|
|
old Peter himself had expected; having often, in imagination,
|
|
looked up through the sods above him, and, unobstructed by.
|
|
perspective, seen his frog-faced legatee enjoying the fine
|
|
old place to the perpetual surprise and disappointment of other survivors.
|
|
|
|
But how little we know what would make paradise for our neighbors!
|
|
We judge from our own desires, and our neighbors themselves
|
|
are not always open enough even to throw out a hint of theirs.
|
|
The cool and judicious Joshua Rigg had not allowed his parent
|
|
to perceive that Stone Court was anything less than the chief good
|
|
in his estimation, and he had certainly wished to call it his own.
|
|
But as Warren Hastings looked at gold and thought of buying Daylesford,
|
|
so Joshua Rigg looked at Stone Court and thought of buying gold.
|
|
He had a very distinct and intense vision of his chief good,
|
|
the vigorous greed which he had inherited having taken a special form
|
|
by dint of circumstance: and his chief good was to be a moneychanger.
|
|
From his earliest employment as an errand-boy in a seaport,
|
|
he had looked through the windows of the moneychangers as other
|
|
boys look through the windows of the pastry-cooks; the fascination
|
|
had wrought itself gradually into a deep special passion; he meant,
|
|
when he had property, to do many things, one of them being to marry
|
|
a genteel young person; but these were all accidents and joys that
|
|
imagination could dispense with. The one joy after which his soul
|
|
thirsted was to have a money-changer's shop on a much-frequented quay,
|
|
to have locks all round him of which he held the keys, and to look
|
|
sublimely cool as he handled the breeding coins of all nations,
|
|
while helpless Cupidity looked at him enviously from the other side
|
|
of an iron lattice. The strength of that passion had been a power
|
|
enabling him to master all the knowledge necessary to gratify it.
|
|
And when others were thinking that he had settled at Stone Court for life,
|
|
Joshua himself was thinking that the moment now was not far off when he
|
|
should settle on the North Quay with the best appointments in safes
|
|
and locks.
|
|
|
|
Enough. We are concerned with looking at Joshua Rigg's sale of his
|
|
land from Mr. Bulstrode's point of view, and he interpreted it
|
|
as a cheering dispensation conveying perhaps a sanction to a purpose
|
|
which he had for some time entertained without external encouragement;
|
|
he interpreted it thus, but not too confidently, offering up his
|
|
thanksgiving in guarded phraseology. His doubts did not arise from the
|
|
possible relations of the event to Joshua Rigg's destiny, which belonged
|
|
to the unmapped regions not taken under the providential government,
|
|
except perhaps in an imperfect colonial way; but they arose from
|
|
reflecting that this dispensation too might be a chastisement
|
|
for himself, as Mr. Farebrother's induction to the living clearly was.
|
|
|
|
This was not what Mr. Bulstrode said to any man for the sake of
|
|
deceiving him: it was what he said to himself--it was as genuinely
|
|
his mode of explaining events as any theory of yours may be,
|
|
if you happen to disagree with him. For the egoism which enters
|
|
into our theories does not affect their sincerity; rather, the more
|
|
our egoism is satisfied, the more robust is our belief.
|
|
|
|
However, whether for sanction or for chastisement, Mr. Bulstrode,
|
|
hardly fifteen months after the death of Peter Featherstone,
|
|
had become the proprietor of Stone Court, and what Peter would
|
|
say "if he were worthy to know," had become an inexhaustible and
|
|
consolatory subject of conversation to his disappointed relatives.
|
|
The tables were now turned on that dear brother departed,
|
|
and to contemplate the frustration of his cunning by the superior
|
|
cunning of things in general was a cud of delight to Solomon.
|
|
Mrs. Waule had a melancholy triumph in the proof that it did
|
|
not answer to make false Featherstones and cut off the genuine;
|
|
and Sister Martha receiving the news in the Chalky Flats said,
|
|
"Dear, dear! then the Almighty could have been none so pleased
|
|
with the almshouses after all."
|
|
|
|
Affectionate Mrs. Bulstrode was particularly glad of the advantage
|
|
which her husband's health was likely to get from the purchase of
|
|
Stone Court. Few days passed without his riding thither and looking
|
|
over some part of the farm with the bailiff, and the evenings were
|
|
delicious in that quiet spot, when the new hay-ricks lately set up were
|
|
sending forth odors to mingle with the breath of the rich old garden.
|
|
One evening, while the sun was still above the horizon and burning
|
|
in golden lamps among the great walnut boughs, Mr. Bulstrode was
|
|
pausing on horseback outside the front gate waiting for Caleb Garth,
|
|
who had met him by appointment to give an opinion on a question
|
|
of stable drainage, and was now advising the bailiff in the rick-yard.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode was conscious of being in a good spiritual frame and more
|
|
than usually serene, under the influence of his innocent recreation.
|
|
He was doctrinally convinced that there was a total absence of merit
|
|
in himself; but that doctrinal conviction may be held without pain
|
|
when the sense of demerit does not take a distinct shape in memory
|
|
and revive the tingling of shame or the pang of remorse. Nay, it may
|
|
be held with intense satisfaction when the depth of our sinning
|
|
is but a measure for the depth of forgiveness, and a clenching
|
|
proof that we are peculiar instruments of the divine intention.
|
|
The memory has as many moods as the temper, and shifts its scenery
|
|
like a diorama. At this moment Mr. Bulstrode felt as if the
|
|
sunshine were all one with that of far-off evenings when he was
|
|
a very young man and used to go out preaching beyond Highbury.
|
|
And he would willingly have had that service of exhortation
|
|
in prospect now. The texts were there still, and so was his own
|
|
facility in expounding them. His brief reverie was interrupted
|
|
by the return of Caleb Garth, who also was on horseback,
|
|
and was just shaking his bridle before starting, when he exclaimed--
|
|
|
|
"Bless my heart! what's this fellow in black coming along the lane?
|
|
He's like one of those men one sees about after the races."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode turned his horse and looked along the lane, but made
|
|
no reply. The comer was our slight acquaintance Mr. Raffles,
|
|
whose appearance presented no other change than such as was due
|
|
to a suit of black and a crape hat-band. He was within three yards
|
|
of the horseman now, and they could see the flash of recognition
|
|
in his face as he whirled his stick upward, looking all the while
|
|
at Mr. Bulstrode, and at last exclaiming:--
|
|
|
|
"By Jove, Nick, it's you! I couldn't be mistaken, though the
|
|
five-and-twenty years have played old Boguy with us both! How are you,
|
|
eh? you didn't expect to see ME here. Come, shake us by the hand."
|
|
To say that Mr. Raffles' manner was rather excited would be only
|
|
one mode of saying that it was evening. Caleb Garth could see
|
|
that there was a moment of struggle and hesitation in Mr. Bulstrode,
|
|
but it ended in his putting out his hand coldly to Raffles and saying--
|
|
|
|
"I did not indeed expect to see you in this remote country place."
|
|
|
|
"Well, it belongs to a stepson of mine," said Raffles, adjusting himself
|
|
in a swaggering attitude. "I came to see him here before. I'm not
|
|
so surprised at seeing you, old fellow, because I picked up a letter--
|
|
what you may call a providential thing. It's uncommonly fortunate
|
|
I met you, though; for I don't care about seeing my stepson:
|
|
he's not affectionate, and his poor mother's gone now. To tell
|
|
the truth, I came out of love to you, Nick: I came to get your
|
|
address, for--look here!" Raffles drew a crumpled paper from his pocket.
|
|
|
|
Almost any other man than Caleb Garth might have been tempted to
|
|
linger on the spot for the sake of hearing all he could about a man
|
|
whose acquaintance with Bulstrode seemed to imply passages in the
|
|
banker's life so unlike anything that was known of him in Middlemarch
|
|
that they must have the nature of a secret to pique curiosity.
|
|
But Caleb was peculiar: certain human tendencies which are commonly
|
|
strong were almost absent from his mind; and one of these was
|
|
curiosity about personal affairs. Especially if there was anything
|
|
discreditable to be found out concerning another man, Caleb preferred
|
|
not to know it; and if he had to tell anybody under him that his evil
|
|
doings were discovered, he was more embarrassed than the culprit.
|
|
He now spurred his horse, and saying, "I wish you good evening,
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode; I must be getting home," set off at a trot.
|
|
|
|
"You didn't put your full address to this letter," Raffles continued.
|
|
"That was not like the first-rate man of business you used to be.
|
|
`The Shrubs,'--they may be anywhere: you live near at hand, eh?--
|
|
have cut the London concern altogether--perhaps turned country squire--
|
|
have a rural mansion to invite me to. Lord, how many years it is ago!
|
|
The old lady must have been dead a pretty long while--gone to glory
|
|
without the pain of knowing how poor her daughter was, eh? But, by Jove!
|
|
you're very pale and pasty, Nick. Come, if you're going home,
|
|
I'll walk by your side."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode's usual paleness had in fact taken an almost deathly hue.
|
|
Five minutes before, the expanse of his life had been submerged in its
|
|
evening sunshine which shone backward to its remembered morning:
|
|
sin seemed to be a question of doctrine and inward penitence,
|
|
humiliation an exercise of the closet, the bearing of his deeds a matter
|
|
of private vision adjusted solely by spiritual relations and conceptions
|
|
of the divine purposes. And now, as if by some hideous magic,
|
|
this loud red figure had risen before him in unmanageable solidity--
|
|
an incorporate past which had not entered into his imagination
|
|
of chastisements. But Mr. Bulstrode's thought was busy, and he
|
|
was not a man to act or speak rashly.
|
|
|
|
"I was going home," he said, "but I can defer my ride a little.
|
|
And you can, if you please, rest here."
|
|
|
|
"Thank you," said Raffles, making a grimace. "I don't care now
|
|
about seeing my stepson. I'd rather go home with you."
|
|
|
|
"Your stepson, if Mr. Rigg Featherstone was he, is here no longer.
|
|
I am master here now."
|
|
|
|
Raffles opened wide eyes, and gave a long whistle of surprise,
|
|
before he said, "Well then, I've no objection. I've had enough walking
|
|
from the coach-road. I never was much of a walker, or rider either.
|
|
What I like is a smart vehicle and a spirited cob. I was always
|
|
a little heavy in the saddle. What a pleasant surprise it must be
|
|
to you to see me, old fellow!" he continued, as they turned towards
|
|
the house. "You don't say so; but you never took your luck heartily--
|
|
you were always thinking of improving the occasion--you'd such a gift
|
|
for improving your luck."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Raffles seemed greatly to enjoy his own wit, and Swung his leg
|
|
in a swaggering manner which was rather too much for his companion's
|
|
judicious patience.
|
|
|
|
"If I remember rightly," Mr. Bulstrode observed, with chill anger,
|
|
"our acquaintance many years ago had not the sort of intimacy
|
|
which you are now assuming, Mr. Raffles. Any services you desire
|
|
of me will be the more readily rendered if you will avoid a tone
|
|
of familiarity which did not lie in our former intercourse, and can
|
|
hardly be warranted by more than twenty years of separation."
|
|
|
|
"You don't like being called Nick? Why, I always called you
|
|
Nick in my heart, and though lost to sight, to memory dear.
|
|
By Jove! my feelings have ripened for you like fine old cognac.
|
|
I hope you've got some in the house now. Josh filled my flask well
|
|
the last time."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode had not yet fully learned that even the desire
|
|
for cognac was not stronger in Raffles than the desire to torment,
|
|
and that a hint of annoyance always served him as a fresh cue.
|
|
But it was at least clear that further objection was useless,
|
|
and Mr. Bulstrode, in giving orders to the housekeeper for the
|
|
accommodation of the guest, had a resolute air of quietude.
|
|
|
|
There was the comfort of thinking that this housekeeper had been in
|
|
the service of Rigg also, and might accept the idea that Mr. Bulstrode
|
|
entertained Raffles merely as a friend of her former master.
|
|
|
|
When there was food and drink spread before his visitor in the
|
|
wainscoted parlor, and no witness in the room, Mr. Bulstrode said--
|
|
|
|
"Your habits and mine are so different, Mr. Raffles, that we can
|
|
hardly enjoy each other's society. The wisest plan for both of us
|
|
will therefore be to part as soon as possible. Since you say
|
|
that you wished to meet me, you probably considered that you had
|
|
some business to transact with me. But under the circumstances I
|
|
will invite you to remain here for the night, and I will myself
|
|
ride over here early to-morrow morning--before breakfast, in fact,
|
|
when I can receive any Communication you have to make to me."
|
|
|
|
"With all my heart," said Raffles; "this is a comfortable place--
|
|
a little dull for a continuance; but I can put up with it for
|
|
a night, with this good liquor and the prospect of seeing you again
|
|
in the morning. You're a much better host than my stepson was;
|
|
but Josh owed me a bit of a grudge for marrying his mother;
|
|
and between you and me there was never anything but kindness."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode, hoping that the peculiar mixture of joviality
|
|
and sneering in Raffles' manner was a good deal the effect
|
|
of drink, had determined to wait till he was quite sober before
|
|
he spent more words upon him. But he rode home with a terribly
|
|
lucid vision of the difficulty there would be in arranging
|
|
any result that could be permanently counted on with this man.
|
|
It was inevitable that he should wish to get rid of John Raffles,
|
|
though his reappearance could not be regarded as lying outside
|
|
the divine plan. The spirit of evil might have sent him to threaten
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode's subversion as an instrument of good; but the threat
|
|
must have been permitted, and was a chastisement of a new kind.
|
|
It was an hour of anguish for him very different from the hours
|
|
in which his struggle had been securely private, and which had
|
|
ended with a sense that his secret misdeeds were pardoned and his
|
|
services accepted. Those misdeeds even when committed--had they
|
|
not been half sanctified by the singleness of his desire to devote
|
|
himself and all he possessed to the furtherance of the divine scheme?
|
|
And was he after all to become a mere stone of stumbling and a
|
|
rock of offence? For who would understand the work within him?
|
|
Who would not, when there was the pretext of casting disgrace
|
|
upon him, confound his whole life and the truths he had espoused,
|
|
in one heap of obloquy?
|
|
|
|
In his closest meditations the life-long habit of Mr. Bulstrode's
|
|
mind clad his most egoistic terrors in doctrinal references
|
|
to superhuman ends. But even while we are talking and meditating
|
|
about the earth's orbit and the solar system, what we feel and
|
|
adjust our movements to is the stable earth and the changing day.
|
|
And now within all the automatic succession of theoretic phrases--
|
|
distinct and inmost as the shiver and the ache of oncoming fever
|
|
when we are discussing abstract pain, was the forecast of disgrace
|
|
in the presence of his neighbors and of his own wife. For the pain,
|
|
as well as the public estimate of disgrace, depends on the amount
|
|
of previous profession. To men who only aim at escaping felony,
|
|
nothing short of the prisoner's dock is disgrace. But Mr. Bulstrode
|
|
had aimed at being an eminent Christian.
|
|
|
|
It was not more than half-past seven in the morning when he again
|
|
reached Stone Court. The fine old place never looked more like a
|
|
delightful home than at that moment; the great white lilies were
|
|
in flower, the nasturtiums, their pretty leaves all silvered with dew,
|
|
were running away over the low stone wall; the very noises all
|
|
around had a heart of peace within them. But everything was spoiled
|
|
for the owner as he walked on the gravel in front and awaited
|
|
the descent of Mr. Raffles, with whom he was condemned to breakfast.
|
|
|
|
It was not long before they were seated together in the wainscoted
|
|
parlor over their tea and toast, which was as much as Raffles cared
|
|
to take at that early hour. The difference between his morning
|
|
and evening self was not so great as his companion had imagined
|
|
that it might be; the delight in tormenting was perhaps even the
|
|
stronger because his spirits were rather less highly pitched.
|
|
Certainly his manners seemed more disagreeable by the morning light.
|
|
|
|
"As I have little time to spare, Mr. Raffles," said the banker,
|
|
who could hardly do more than sip his tea and break his toast
|
|
without eating it, "I shall be obliged if you will mention at once
|
|
the ground on which you wished to meet with me. I presume that you
|
|
have a home elsewhere and will be glad to return to it."
|
|
|
|
"Why, if a man has got any heart, doesn't he want to see an
|
|
old friend, Nick?--I must call you Nick--we always did call you
|
|
young Nick when we knew you meant to marry the old widow. Some said
|
|
you had a handsome family likeness to old Nick, but that was your
|
|
mother's fault, calling you Nicholas. Aren't you glad to see me again?
|
|
I expected an invite to stay with you at some pretty place. My own
|
|
establishment is broken up now my wife's dead. I've no particular
|
|
attachment to any spot; I would as soon settle hereabout as anywhere."
|
|
|
|
"May I ask why you returned from America? I considered that the strong
|
|
wish you expressed to go there, when an adequate sum was furnished,
|
|
was tantamount to an engagement that you would remain there for life."
|
|
|
|
"Never knew that a wish to go to a place was the same thing as a
|
|
wish to stay. But I did stay a matter of ten years; it didn't
|
|
suit me to stay any longer. And I'm not going again, Nick."
|
|
Here Mr. Raffles winked slowly as he looked at Mr. Bulstrode.
|
|
|
|
"Do you wish to be settled in any business? What is your calling now?"
|
|
|
|
"Thank you, my calling is to enjoy myself as much as I can.
|
|
I don't care about working any more. If I did anything it would be
|
|
a little travelling in the tobacco line--or something of that sort,
|
|
which takes a man into agreeable company. But not without
|
|
an independence to fall back upon. That's what I want: I'm not
|
|
so strong as I was, Nick, though I've got more color than you.
|
|
I want an independence."
|
|
|
|
"That could be supplied to you, if you would engage to keep at
|
|
a distance," said Mr. Bulstrode, perhaps with a little too much
|
|
eagerness in his undertone.
|
|
|
|
"That must be as it suits my convenience," said Raffles coolly. "I see
|
|
no reason why I shouldn't make a few acquaintances hereabout. I'm not
|
|
ashamed of myself as company for anybody. I dropped my portmanteau at
|
|
the turnpike when I got down--change of linen--genuine--honor bright--
|
|
more than fronts and wristbands; and with this suit of mourning,
|
|
straps and everything, I should do you credit among the nobs here."
|
|
Mr. Raffles had pushed away hit chair and looked down at himself,
|
|
particularly at his straps His chief intention was to annoy Bulstrode,
|
|
but he really thought that his appearance now would produce
|
|
a good effect, and that he was not only handsome and witty,
|
|
but clad in a mourning style which implied solid connections.
|
|
|
|
"If you intend to rely on me in any way, Mr. Raffles," said Bulstrode,
|
|
after a moment's pause, "you will expect to meet my wishes."
|
|
|
|
"Ah, to be sure," said Raffles, with a mocking cordiality.
|
|
"Didn't I always do it? Lord, you made a pretty thing out of me,
|
|
and I got but little. I've often thought since, I might have done
|
|
better by telling the old woman that I'd found her daughter and
|
|
her grandchild: it would have suited my feelings better; I've got
|
|
a soft place in my heart. But you've buried the old lady by this time,
|
|
I suppose--it's all one to her now. And you've got your fortune
|
|
out of that profitable business which had such a blessing on it.
|
|
You've taken to being a nob, buying land, being a country bashaw.
|
|
Still in the Dissenting line, eh? Still godly? Or taken to the Church
|
|
as more genteel?"
|
|
|
|
This time Mr. Raffles' slow wink and slight protrusion of his
|
|
tongue was worse than a nightmare, because it held the certitude
|
|
that it was not a nightmare, but a waking misery. Mr. Bulstrode
|
|
felt a shuddering nausea, and did not speak, but was considering
|
|
diligently whether he should not leave Raffles to do as he would,
|
|
and simply defy him as a slanderer. The man would soon show
|
|
himself disreputable enough to make people disbelieve him.
|
|
"But not when he tells any ugly-looking truth about YOU,"
|
|
said discerning consciousness. And again: it seemed no wrong to keep
|
|
Raffles at a distance, but Mr. Bulstrode shrank from the direct
|
|
falsehood of denying true statements. It was one thing to look back on
|
|
forgiven sins, nay, to explain questionable conformity to lax customs,
|
|
and another to enter deliberately on the necessity of falsehood.
|
|
|
|
But since Bulstrode did not speak, Raffles ran on, by way of using
|
|
time to the utmost.
|
|
|
|
"I've not had such fine luck as you, by Jove! Things went
|
|
confoundedly with me in New York; those Yankees are cool hands,
|
|
and a man of gentlemanly feelings has no chance with them. I married
|
|
when I came back--a nice woman in the tobacco trade--very fond of me--
|
|
but the trade was restricted, as we say. She had been settled
|
|
there a good many years by a friend; but there was a son too much
|
|
in the case. Josh and I never hit it off. However, I made the most
|
|
of the position, and I've always taken my glass in good company.
|
|
It's been all on the square with me; I'm as open as the day.
|
|
You won't take it ill of me that I didn't look you up before.
|
|
I've got a complaint that makes me a little dilatory. I thought you were
|
|
trading and praying away in London still, and didn't find you there.
|
|
But you see I was sent to you, Nick--perhaps for a blessing to both
|
|
of us."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Raffles ended with a jocose snuffle: no man felt his intellect
|
|
more superior to religious cant. And if the cunning which calculates
|
|
on the meanest feelings in men could be, called intellect, he had
|
|
his share, for under the blurting rallying tone with which he
|
|
spoke to Bulstrode, there was an evident selection of statements,
|
|
as if they had been so many moves at chess. Meanwhile Bulstrode
|
|
had determined on his move, and he said, with gathered resolution--
|
|
|
|
"You will do well to reflect, Mr. Raffles, that it is possible for a
|
|
man to overreach himself in the effort to secure undue advantage.
|
|
Although I am not in any way bound to you, I am willing to supply
|
|
you with a regular annuity--in quarterly payments--so long as you
|
|
fulfil a promise to remain at a distance from this neighborhood.
|
|
It is in your power to choose. If you insist on remaining here,
|
|
even for a short time, you will get nothing from me. I shall decline
|
|
to know you."
|
|
|
|
"Ha, ha!" said Raffles, with an affected explosion, "that reminds
|
|
me of a droll dog of a thief who declined to know the constable."
|
|
|
|
"Your allusions are lost on me sir," said Bulstrode, with white heat;
|
|
"the law has no hold on me either through your agency or any other."
|
|
|
|
"You can't understand a joke, my good fellow. I only meant
|
|
that I should never decline to know you. But let us be serious.
|
|
Your quarterly payment won't quite suit me. I like my freedom."
|
|
|
|
Here Raffles rose and stalked once or twice up and down the room,
|
|
swinging his leg, and assuming an air of masterly meditation.
|
|
At last he stopped opposite Bulstrode, and said, "I'll tell
|
|
you what! Give us a couple of hundreds--come, that's modest--
|
|
and I'll go away--honor bright!--pick up my portmanteau and go away.
|
|
But I shall not give up my Liberty for a dirty annuity. I shall
|
|
come and go where I like. Perhaps it may suit me to stay away,
|
|
and correspond with a friend; perhaps not. Have you the money
|
|
with you?"
|
|
|
|
"No, I have one hundred," said Bulstrode, feeling the immediate riddance
|
|
too great a relief to be rejected on the ground of future uncertainties.
|
|
"I will forward you the other if you will mention an address."
|
|
|
|
"No, I'll wait here till you bring it," said Raffles. "I'll take
|
|
a stroll and have a snack, and you'll be back by that time."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode's sickly body, shattered by the agitations he
|
|
had gone through since the last evening, made him feel abjectly
|
|
in the power of this loud invulnerable man. At that moment
|
|
he snatched at a temporary repose to be won on any terms.
|
|
He was rising to do what Raffles suggested, when the latter said,
|
|
lifting up his finger as if with a sudden recollection--
|
|
|
|
"I did have another look after Sarah again, though I didn't
|
|
tell you; I'd a tender conscience about that pretty young woman.
|
|
I didn't find her, but I found out her husband's name, and I made
|
|
a note of it. But hang it, I lost my pocketbook. However, if I
|
|
heard it, I should know it again. I've got my faculties as if I
|
|
was in my prime, but names wear out, by Jove! Sometimes I'm no
|
|
better than a confounded tax-paper before the names are filled in.
|
|
However, if I hear of her and her family, you shall know, Nick.
|
|
You'd like to do something for her, now she's your step-daughter."
|
|
|
|
"Doubtless," said Mr. Bulstrode, with the usual steady look of his
|
|
light-gray eyes; "though that might reduce my power of assisting you."
|
|
|
|
As he walked out of the room, Raffles winked slowly at his back,
|
|
and then turned towards the window to watch the banker riding away--
|
|
virtually at his command. His lips first curled with a smile and then
|
|
opened with a short triumphant laugh.
|
|
|
|
"But what the deuce was the name?" he presently said, half aloud,
|
|
scratching his head, and wrinkling his brows horizontally. He had
|
|
not really cared or thought about this point of forgetfulness until
|
|
it occurred to him in his invention of annoyances for Bulstrode.
|
|
|
|
"It began with L; it was almost all l's I fancy," he went on,
|
|
with a sense that he was getting hold of the slippery name.
|
|
But the hold was too slight, and he soon got tired of this mental chase;
|
|
for few men were more impatient of private occupation or more
|
|
in need of making themselves continually heard than Mr. Raffles.
|
|
He preferred using his time in pleasant conversation with the bailiff
|
|
and the housekeeper, from whom he gathered as much as he wanted to
|
|
know about Mr. Bulstrode's position in Middlemarch.
|
|
|
|
After all, however, there was a dull space of time which needed relieving
|
|
with bread and cheese and ale, and when he was seated alone with these
|
|
resources in the wainscoted parlor, he suddenly slapped his knee,
|
|
and exclaimed, "Ladislaw!" That action of memory which he had tried
|
|
to set going, and had abandoned in despair, had suddenly completed
|
|
itself without conscious effort--a common experience, agreeable as
|
|
a completed sneeze, even if the name remembered is of no value.
|
|
Raffles immediately took out his pocket-book, and wrote down the name,
|
|
not because he expected to use it, but merely for the sake of not
|
|
being at a loss if he ever did happen to want it. He was not going
|
|
to tell Bulstrode: there was no actual good in telling, and to
|
|
a mind like that of Mr. Raffles there is always probable good in a secret.
|
|
|
|
He was satisfied with his present success, and by three o'clock that day
|
|
he had taken up his portmanteau at the turnpike and mounted the coach,
|
|
relieving Mr. Bulstrode's eyes of an ugly black spot on the landscape
|
|
at Stone Court, but not relieving him of the dread that the black spot
|
|
might reappear and become inseparable even from the vision of his hearth.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
BOOK VI.
|
|
|
|
THE WIDOW AND THE WIFE.
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|
|
|
CHAPTER LIV.
|
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|
|
"Negli occhi porta la mia donna Amore;
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|
Per che si fa gentil eio ch'ella mira:
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|
Ov'ella passa, ogni uom ver lei si gira,
|
|
E cui saluta fa tremar lo core.
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|
Sicche, bassando il viso, tutto smore,
|
|
E d'ogni suo difetto allor sospira:
|
|
Fuggon dinanzi a lei Superbia ed Ira:
|
|
Aiutatemi, donne, a farle onore.
|
|
|
|
Ogni dolcezza, ogni pensiero umile
|
|
Nasee nel core a chi parlar la sente;
|
|
Ond' e beato chi prima la vide.
|
|
Quel ch'ella par quand' un poco sorride,
|
|
Non si pub dicer, ne tener a mente,
|
|
Si e nuovo miracolo gentile."
|
|
--DANTE: la Vita Nuova.
|
|
|
|
|
|
By that delightful morning when the hay-ricks at Stone Court were
|
|
scenting the air quite impartially, as if Mr. Raffles had been
|
|
a guest worthy of finest incense, Dorothea had again taken up
|
|
her abode at Lowick Manor. After three months Freshitt had become
|
|
rather oppressive: to sit like a model for Saint Catherine looking
|
|
rapturously at Celia's baby would not do for many hours in the day,
|
|
and to remain in that momentous babe's presence with persistent
|
|
disregard was a course that could not have been tolerated in a
|
|
childless sister. Dorothea would have been capable of carrying
|
|
baby joyfully for a mile if there had been need, and of loving
|
|
it the more tenderly for that labor; but to an aunt who does not
|
|
recognize her infant nephew as Bouddha, and has nothing to do for him but
|
|
to admire, his behavior is apt to appear monotonous, and the interest
|
|
of watching him exhaustible. This possibility was quite hidden
|
|
from Celia, who felt that Dorothea's childless widowhood fell in quite
|
|
prettily with the birth of little Arthur (baby was named after Mr. Brooke).
|
|
|
|
"Dodo is just the creature not to mind about having anything of her own--
|
|
children or anything!" said Celia to her husband. "And if she
|
|
had had a baby, it never could have been such a dear as Arthur.
|
|
Could it, James?
|
|
|
|
"Not if it had been like Casaubon," said Sir James, conscious of
|
|
some indirectness in his answer, and of holding a strictly private
|
|
opinion as to the perfections of his first-born.
|
|
|
|
"No! just imagine! Really it was a mercy," said Celia; "and I think
|
|
it is very nice for Dodo to be a widow. She can be just as fond
|
|
of our baby as if it were her own, and she can have as many notions
|
|
of her own as she likes."
|
|
|
|
"It is a pity she was not a queen," said the devout Sir James.
|
|
|
|
"But what should we have been then? We must have been something else,"
|
|
said Celia, objecting to so laborious a flight of imagination.
|
|
"I like her better as she is."
|
|
|
|
Hence, when she found that Dorothea was making arrangements for her final
|
|
departure to Lowick, Celia raised her eyebrows with disappointment,
|
|
and in her quiet unemphatic way shot a needle-arrow of sarcasm.
|
|
|
|
"What will you do at Lowick, Dodo? You say yourself there is
|
|
nothing to be done there: everybody is so clean and well off,
|
|
it makes you quite melancholy. And here you have been so happy
|
|
going all about Tipton with Mr. Garth into the worst backyards.
|
|
And now uncle is abroad, you and Mr. Garth can have it all your own way;
|
|
and I am sure James does everything you tell him."
|
|
|
|
"I shall often come here, and I shall see how baby grows all
|
|
the better," said Dorothea.
|
|
|
|
"But you will never see him washed," said Celia; "and that is quite
|
|
the best part of the day." She was almost pouting: it did seem
|
|
to her very hard in Dodo to go away from the baby when she might stay.
|
|
|
|
"Dear Kitty, I will come and stay all night on purpose,"
|
|
said Dorothea; "but I want to be alone now, and in my own home.
|
|
I wish to know the Farebrothers better, and to talk to Mr. Farebrother
|
|
about what there is to be done in Middlemarch."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea's native strength of will was no longer all converted into
|
|
resolute submission. She had a great yearning to be at Lowick,
|
|
and was simply determined to go, not feeling bound to tell all
|
|
her reasons. But every one around her disapproved. Sir James was
|
|
much pained, and offered that they should all migrate to Cheltenham
|
|
for a few months with the sacred ark, otherwise called a cradle:
|
|
at that period a man could hardly know what to propose if Cheltenham
|
|
were rejected.
|
|
|
|
The Dowager Lady Chettam, just returned from a visit to her daughter
|
|
in town, wished, at least, that Mrs. Vigo should be written to,
|
|
and invited to accept the office of companion to Mrs. Casaubon:
|
|
it was not credible that Dorothea as a young widow would think
|
|
of living alone in the house at Lowick. Mrs. Vigo had been reader
|
|
and secretary to royal personages, and in point of knowledge and
|
|
sentiments even Dorothea could have nothing to object to her.
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Cadwallader said, privately, "You will certainly go mad in
|
|
that house alone, my dear. You will see visions. We have all got
|
|
to exert ourselves a little to keep sane, and call things by the same
|
|
names as other people call them by. To be sure, for younger sons
|
|
and women who have no money, it is a sort of provision to go mad:
|
|
they are taken care of then. But you must not run into that.
|
|
I dare say you are a little bored here with our good dowager;
|
|
but think what a bore you might become yourself to your fellow-creatures
|
|
if you were always playing tragedy queen and taking things sublimely.
|
|
Sitting alone in that library at Lowick you may fancy yourself
|
|
ruling the weather; you must get a few people round you who wouldn't
|
|
believe you if you told them. That is a good lowering medicine."
|
|
|
|
"I never called everything by the same name that all the people
|
|
about me did," said Dorothea, stoutly.
|
|
|
|
"But I suppose you have found out your mistake, my dear,"
|
|
said Mrs. Cadwallader, "and that is a proof of sanity."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea was aware of the sting, but it did not hurt her.
|
|
"No," she said, "I still think that the greater part of the world
|
|
is mistaken about many things. Surely one may be sane and yet
|
|
think so, since the greater part of the world has often had to come
|
|
round from its opinion."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Cadwallader said no more on that point to Dorothea, but to her
|
|
husband she remarked, "It will be well for her to marry again as soon
|
|
as it is proper, if one could get her among the right people.
|
|
Of course the Chettams would not wish it. But I see clearly
|
|
a husband is the best thing to keep her in order. If we were not
|
|
so poor I would invite Lord Triton. He will be marquis some day,
|
|
and there is no denying that she would make a good marchioness:
|
|
she looks handsomer than ever in her mourning."
|
|
|
|
"My dear Elinor, do let the poor woman alone. Such contrivances
|
|
are of no use," said the easy Rector.
|
|
|
|
"No use? How are matches made, except by bringing men and
|
|
women together? And it is a shame that her uncle should have run
|
|
away and shut up the Grange just now. There ought to be plenty
|
|
of eligible matches invited to Freshitt and the Grange. Lord Triton
|
|
is precisely the man: full of plans for making the people happy
|
|
in a soft-headed sort of way. That would just suit Mrs. Casaubon."
|
|
|
|
"Let Mrs. Casaubon choose for herself, Elinor."
|
|
|
|
"That is the nonsense you wise men talk! How can she choose
|
|
if she has no variety to choose from? A woman's choice usually
|
|
means taking the only man she can get. Mark my words, Humphrey.
|
|
If her friends don't exert themselves, there will be a worse
|
|
business than the Casaubon business yet."
|
|
|
|
"For heaven's sake don't touch on that topic, Elinor! It is a
|
|
very sore point with Sir James He would be deeply offended if you
|
|
entered on it to him unnecessarily."
|
|
|
|
"I have never entered on it," said Mrs Cadwallader, opening her hands.
|
|
"Celia told me all about the will at the beginning, without any
|
|
asking of mine."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, yes; but they want the thing hushed up, and I understand
|
|
that the young fellow is going out of the neighborhood."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Cadwallader said nothing, but gave her husband three
|
|
significant nods, with a very sarcastic expression in her dark eyes.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea quietly persisted in spite of remonstrance and persuasion.
|
|
So by the end of June the shutters were all opened at Lowick Manor,
|
|
and the morning gazed calmly into the library, shining on the rows
|
|
of note-books as it shines on the weary waste planted with huge
|
|
stones, the mute memorial of a forgotten faith; and the evening
|
|
laden with roses entered silently into the blue-green boudoir
|
|
where Dorothea chose oftenest to sit. At first she walked into
|
|
every room, questioning the eighteen months of her married life,
|
|
and carrying on her thoughts as if they were a speech to be heard
|
|
by her husband. Then, she lingered in the library and could not
|
|
be at rest till she had carefully ranged all the note-books as she
|
|
imagined that he would wish to see them, in orderly sequence.
|
|
The pity which had been the restraining compelling motive in her life
|
|
with him still clung about his image, even while she remonstrated
|
|
with him in indignant thought and told him that he was unjust.
|
|
One little act of hers may perhaps be smiled at as superstitious.
|
|
The Synoptical Tabulation for the use of Mrs. Casaubon, she
|
|
carefully enclosed and sealed, writing within the envelope,
|
|
"I could not use it. Do you not see now that I could not submit
|
|
my soul to yours, by working hopelessly at what I have no belief
|
|
in--Dorothea?" Then she deposited the paper in her own desk.
|
|
|
|
That silent colloquy was perhaps only the more earnest because underneath
|
|
and through it all there was always the deep longing which had really
|
|
determined her to come to Lowick. The longing was to see Will Ladislaw.
|
|
She did not know any good that could come of their meeting:
|
|
she was helpless; her hands had been tied from making up to him
|
|
for any unfairness in his lot. But her soul thirsted to see him.
|
|
How could it be otherwise? If a princess in the days of enchantment
|
|
had seen a four-footed creature from among those which live in herds
|
|
come to her once and again with a human gaze which rested upon her
|
|
with choice and beseeching, what would she think of in her journeying,
|
|
what would she look for when the herds passed her? Surely for
|
|
the gaze which had found her, and which she would know again.
|
|
Life would be no better than candle-light tinsel and daylight
|
|
rubbish if our spirits were not touched by what has been, to issues
|
|
of longing and constancy. It was true that Dorothea wanted to know
|
|
the Farebrothers better, and especially to talk to the new rector,
|
|
but also true that remembering what Lydgate had told her about
|
|
Will Ladislaw and little Miss Noble, she counted on Will's coming
|
|
to Lowick to see the Farebrother family. The very first Sunday,
|
|
BEFORE she entered the church, she saw him as she had seen
|
|
him the last time she was there, alone in the clergyman's pew;
|
|
but WHEN she entered his figure was gone.
|
|
|
|
In the week-days when she went to see the ladies at the Rectory,
|
|
she listened in vain for some word that they might let fall about Will;
|
|
but it seemed to her that Mrs. Farebrother talked of every one else
|
|
in the neighborhood and out of it.
|
|
|
|
"Probably some of Mr. Farebrother's Middlemarch hearers may follow
|
|
him to Lowick sometimes. Do you not think so?" said Dorothea,
|
|
rather despising herself for having a secret motive in asking
|
|
the question.
|
|
|
|
"If they are wise they will, Mrs. Casaubon," said the old lady.
|
|
"I see that you set a right value on my son's preaching. His grandfather
|
|
on my side was an excellent clergyman, but his father was in the law:--
|
|
most exemplary and honest nevertheless, which is a reason for our
|
|
never being rich. They say Fortune is a woman and capricious.
|
|
But sometimes she is a good woman and gives to those who merit,
|
|
which has been the case with you, Mrs. Casaubon, who have given a
|
|
living to my son."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Farebrother recurred to her knitting with a dignified satisfaction
|
|
in her neat little effort at oratory, but this was not what Dorothea
|
|
wanted to hear. Poor thing! she did not even know whether Will Ladislaw
|
|
was still at Middlemarch, and there was no one whom she dared to ask,
|
|
unless it were Lydgate. But just now she could not see Lydgate
|
|
without sending for him or going to seek him. Perhaps Will Ladislaw,
|
|
having heard of that strange ban against him left by Mr. Casaubon,
|
|
had felt it better that he and she should not meet again, and perhaps
|
|
she was wrong to wish for a meeting that others might find many good
|
|
reasons against. Still "I do wish it" came at the end of those
|
|
wise reflections as naturally as a sob after holding the breath.
|
|
And the meeting did happen, but in a formal way quite unexpected by her.
|
|
|
|
One morning, about eleven, Dorothea was seated in her boudoir with a
|
|
map of the land attached to the manor and other papers before her,
|
|
which were to help her in making an exact statement for herself
|
|
of her income and affairs. She had not yet applied herself
|
|
to her work, but was seated with her hands folded on her lap,
|
|
looking out along the avenue of limes to the distant fields.
|
|
Every leaf was at rest in the sunshine, the familiar scene
|
|
was changeless, and seemed to represent the prospect of her life,
|
|
full of motiveless ease--motiveless, if her own energy could not
|
|
seek out reasons for ardent action. The widow's cap of those times
|
|
made an oval frame for the face, and had a crown standing up;
|
|
the dress was an experiment in the utmost laying on of crape;
|
|
but this heavy solemnity of clothing made her face look all the younger,
|
|
with its recovered bloom, and the sweet, inquiring candor of her eyes.
|
|
|
|
Her reverie was broken by Tantripp, who came to say that Mr. Ladislaw
|
|
was below, and begged permission to see Madam if it were not too early.
|
|
|
|
"I will see him," said Dorothea, rising immediately. "Let him
|
|
be shown into the drawing-room."
|
|
|
|
The drawing-room was the most neutral room in the house to her--
|
|
the one least associated with the trials of her married life:
|
|
the damask matched the wood-work, which was all white and gold;
|
|
there were two tall mirrors and tables with nothing on them--
|
|
in brief, it was a room where you had no reason for sitting in one
|
|
place rather than in another. It was below the boudoir, and had
|
|
also a bow-window looking out on the avenue. But when Pratt showed
|
|
Will Ladislaw into it the window was open; and a winged visitor,
|
|
buzzing in and out now and then without minding the furniture,
|
|
made the room look less formal and uninhabited.
|
|
|
|
"Glad to see you here again, sir," said Pratt, lingering to adjust
|
|
a blind.
|
|
|
|
"I am only come to say good-by, Pratt," said Will, who wished even
|
|
the butler to know that he was too proud to hang about Mrs. Casaubon
|
|
now she was a rich widow.
|
|
|
|
"Very sorry to hear it, sir," said Pratt, retiring. Of course,
|
|
as a servant who was to be told nothing, he knew the fact of
|
|
which Ladislaw was still ignorant, and had drawn his inferences;
|
|
indeed, had not differed from his betrothed Tantripp when she said,
|
|
"Your master was as jealous as a fiend--and no reason.
|
|
Madam would look higher than Mr. Ladislaw, else I don't know her.
|
|
Mrs. Cadwallader's maid says there's a lord coming who is to marry
|
|
her when the mourning's over."
|
|
|
|
There were not many moments for Will to walk about with his hat
|
|
in his hand before Dorothea entered. The meeting was very different
|
|
from that first meeting in Rome when Will had been embarrassed
|
|
and Dorothea calm. This time he felt miserable but determined,
|
|
while she was in a state of agitation which could not be hidden.
|
|
Just outside the door she had felt that this longed-for meeting was
|
|
after all too difficult, and when she saw Will advancing towards her,
|
|
the deep blush which was rare in her came with painful suddenness.
|
|
Neither of them knew how it was, but neither of them spoke.
|
|
She gave her hand for a moment, and then they went to sit down
|
|
near the window, she on one settee and he on another opposite.
|
|
Will was peculiarly uneasy: it seemed to him not like Dorothea
|
|
that the mere fact of her being a widow should cause such a change
|
|
in her manner of receiving him; and he knew of no other condition
|
|
which could have affected their previous relation to each other--
|
|
except that, as his imagination at once told him, her friends
|
|
might have been poisoning her mind with their suspicions
|
|
of him.
|
|
|
|
"I hope I have not presumed too much in calling," said Will;
|
|
"I could not bear to leave the neighborhood and begin a new life
|
|
without seeing you to say good-by."
|
|
|
|
"Presumed? Surely not. I should have thought it unkind if you
|
|
had not wished to see me," said Dorothea, her habit of speaking
|
|
with perfect genuineness asserting itself through all her uncertainty
|
|
and agitation. "Are you going away immediately?"
|
|
|
|
"Very soon, I think. I intend to go to town and eat my dinners
|
|
as a barrister, since, they say, that is the preparation for all
|
|
public business. There will be a great deal of political work
|
|
to be done by-and-by, and I mean to try and do some of it.
|
|
Other men have managed to win an honorable position for themselves
|
|
without family or money."
|
|
|
|
"And that will make it all the more honorable," said Dorothea,
|
|
ardently. "Besides, you have so many talents. I have heard from
|
|
my uncle how well you speak in public, so that every one is sorry
|
|
when you leave off, and how clearly you can explain things.
|
|
And you care that justice should be done to every one. I am so glad.
|
|
When we were in Rome, I thought you only cared for poetry and art,
|
|
and the things that adorn life for us who are well off.
|
|
But now I know you think about the rest of the world."
|
|
|
|
While she was speaking Dorothea had lost her personal embarrassment,
|
|
and had become like her former self. She looked at Will with a
|
|
direct glance, full of delighted confidence.
|
|
|
|
"You approve of my going away for years, then, and never coming
|
|
here again till I have made myself of some mark in the world?"
|
|
said Will, trying hard to reconcile the utmost pride with the utmost
|
|
effort to get an expression of strong feeling from Dorothea.
|
|
|
|
She was not aware how long it was before she answered. She had
|
|
turned her head and was looking out of the window on the rose-bushes,
|
|
which seemed to have in them the summers of all the years when Will
|
|
would be away. This was not judicious behavior. But Dorothea never
|
|
thought of studying her manners: she thought only of bowing to a sad
|
|
necessity which divided her from Will. Those first words of his
|
|
about his intentions had seemed to make everything clear to her:
|
|
he knew, she supposed, all about Mr. Casaubon's final conduct in
|
|
relation to him, and it had come to him with the same sort of shock
|
|
as to herself. He had never felt more than friendship for her--
|
|
had never had anything in his mind to justify what she felt to be
|
|
her husband's outrage on the feelings of both: and that friendship
|
|
he still felt. Something which may be called an inward silent
|
|
sob had gone on in Dorothea before she said with a pure voice,
|
|
just trembling in the last words as if only from its liquid flexibility--
|
|
|
|
"Yes, it must be right for you to do as you say. I shall be
|
|
very happy when I hear that you have made your value felt.
|
|
But you must have patience. It will perhaps be a long while."
|
|
|
|
Will never quite knew how it was that he saved himself from falling
|
|
down at her feet, when the "long while" came forth with its
|
|
gentle tremor. He used to say that the horrible hue and surface
|
|
of her crape dress was most likely the sufficient controlling force.
|
|
He sat still, however, and only said--
|
|
|
|
"I shall never hear from you. And you will forget all about me."
|
|
|
|
"No," said Dorothea, "I shall never forget you. I have never
|
|
forgotten any one whom I once knew. My life has never been crowded,
|
|
and seems not likely to be so. And I have a great deal of space
|
|
for memory at Lowick, haven't I?" She smiled.
|
|
|
|
"Good God!" Will burst out passionately, rising, with his hat still
|
|
in his hand, and walking away to a marble table, where he suddenly
|
|
turned and leaned his back against it. The blood had mounted to his
|
|
face and neck, and he looked almost angry. It had seemed to him
|
|
as if they were like two creatures slowly turning to marble in each
|
|
other's presence, while their hearts were conscious and their eyes
|
|
were yearning. But there was no help for it. It should never be true
|
|
of him that in this meeting to which he had come with bitter resolution
|
|
he had ended by a confession which might be interpreted into asking
|
|
for her fortune. Moreover, it was actually true that he was fearful
|
|
of the effect which such confessions might have on Dorothea herself.
|
|
|
|
She looked at him from that distance in some trouble, imagining that
|
|
there might hate been an offence in her words. But all the while
|
|
there was a current of thought in her about his probable want
|
|
of money, and the impossibility of her helping him. If her uncle
|
|
had been at home, something might have been done through him!
|
|
It was this preoccupation with the hardship of Will's wanting money,
|
|
while she had what ought to have been his share, which led her to say,
|
|
seeing that he remained silent and looked away from her--
|
|
|
|
"I wonder whether you would like to have that miniature
|
|
which hangs up-stairs--I mean that beautiful miniature OF
|
|
your grandmother. I think it is not right for me to keep it,
|
|
if you would wish to have it. It is wonderfully like you."
|
|
|
|
"You are very good," said Will, irritably. "No; I don't mind
|
|
about it. It is not very consoling to have one's own likeness.
|
|
It would be more consoling if others wanted to have it."
|
|
|
|
"I thought you would like to cherish her memory--I thought--
|
|
"Dorothea broke off an instant, her imagination suddenly warning
|
|
her away from Aunt Julia's history--"you would surely like to have
|
|
the miniature as a family memorial."
|
|
|
|
"Why should I have that, when I have nothing else! A man with only
|
|
a portmanteau for his stowage must keep his memorials in his head."
|
|
|
|
Will spoke at random: he was merely venting his petulance;
|
|
it was a little too exasperating to have his grandmother's portrait
|
|
offered him at that moment. But to Dorothea's feeling his words
|
|
had a peculiar sting. She rose and said with a touch of indignation
|
|
as well as hauteur--
|
|
|
|
"You are much the happier of us two, Mr. Ladislaw, to have nothing."
|
|
|
|
Will was startled. Whatever the words might be, the tone seemed
|
|
like a dismissal; and quitting his leaning posture, he walked
|
|
a little way towards her. Their eyes met, but with a strange
|
|
questioning gravity. Something was keeping their minds aloof,
|
|
and each was left to conjecture what was in the other. Will had
|
|
really never thought of himself as having a claim of inheritance
|
|
on the property which was held by Dorothea, and would have required
|
|
a narrative to make him understand her present feeling.
|
|
|
|
"I never felt it a misfortune to have nothing till now," he said.
|
|
"But poverty may be as bad as leprosy, if it divides us from what we
|
|
most care for."
|
|
|
|
The words cut Dorothea to the heart, and made her relent.
|
|
She answered in a tone of sad fellowship.
|
|
|
|
"Sorrow comes in so many ways. Two years ago I had no notion of that--
|
|
I mean of the unexpected way in which trouble comes, and ties our hands,
|
|
and makes us silent when we long to speak. I used to despise women
|
|
a little for not shaping their lives more, and doing better things.
|
|
I was very fond of doing as I liked, but I have almost given it up,"
|
|
she ended, smiling playfully.
|
|
|
|
"I have not given up doing as I like, but I can very seldom do it,"
|
|
said Will. He was standing two yards from her with his mind full
|
|
of contradictory desires and resolves--desiring some unmistakable
|
|
proof that she loved him, and yet dreading the position into which
|
|
such a proof might bring him. "The thing one most longs for may
|
|
be surrounded with conditions that would be intolerable."
|
|
|
|
At this moment Pratt entered and said, "Sir James Chettam
|
|
is in the library, madam."
|
|
|
|
"Ask Sir James to come in here," said Dorothea, immediately. It was
|
|
as if the same electric shock had passed through her and Will.
|
|
Each of them felt proudly resistant, and neither looked at the other,
|
|
while they awaited Sir James's entrance.
|
|
|
|
After shaking hands with Dorothea, he bowed as slightly as possible
|
|
to Ladislaw, who repaid the slightness exactly, and then going
|
|
towards Dorothea, said--
|
|
|
|
"I must say good-by, Mrs. Casaubon; and probably for a long while."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea put out her hand and said her good-by cordially. The sense
|
|
that Sir James was depreciating Will, and behaving rudely to him,
|
|
roused her resolution and dignity-there was no touch of confusion
|
|
in her manner. And when Will had left the room, she looked with
|
|
such calm self-possession at Sir James, saying, "How is Celia?"
|
|
that he was obliged to behave as if nothing had annoyed him.
|
|
And what would be the use of behaving otherwise? Indeed, Sir James
|
|
shrank with so much dislike from the association even in thought
|
|
of Dorothea with Ladislaw as her possible lover, that he would himself
|
|
have wished to avoid an outward show of displeasure which would
|
|
have recognized the disagreeable possibility. If any one had asked
|
|
him why he shrank in that way, I am not sure that he would at first
|
|
have said anything fuller or more precise than "THAT Ladislaw!"--
|
|
though on reflection he might have urged that Mr. Casaubon's codicil,
|
|
barring Dorothea's marriage with Will, except under a penalty,
|
|
was enough to cast unfitness over any relation at all between them.
|
|
His aversion was all the stronger because he felt himself unable
|
|
to interfere.
|
|
|
|
But Sir James was a power in a way unguessed by himself. Entering
|
|
at that moment, he was an incorporation of the strongest reasons
|
|
through which Will's pride became a repellent force, keeping him
|
|
asunder from Dorothea
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LV.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hath she her faults? I would you had them too.
|
|
They are the fruity must of soundest wine;
|
|
Or say, they are regenerating fire
|
|
Such as hath turned the dense black element
|
|
Into a crystal pathway for the sun.
|
|
|
|
|
|
If youth is the season of hope, it is often so only in the sense
|
|
that our elders are hopeful about us; for no age is so apt as youth
|
|
to think its emotions, partings, and resolves are the last of
|
|
their kind. Each crisis seems final, simply because it is new.
|
|
We are told that the oldest inhabitants in Peru do not cease to be
|
|
agitated by the earthquakes, but they probably see beyond each shock,
|
|
and reflect that there are plenty more to come.
|
|
|
|
To Dorothea, still in that time of youth when the eyes with their long
|
|
full lashes look out after their rain of tears unsoiled and unwearied
|
|
as a freshly opened passion-flower, that morning's parting with Will
|
|
Ladislaw seemed to be the close of their personal relations.
|
|
He was going away into the distance of unknown years, and if ever he
|
|
came back he would be another man. The actual state of his mind--
|
|
his proud resolve to give the lie beforehand to any suspicion
|
|
that he would play the needy adventurer seeking a rich woman--
|
|
lay quite out of her imagination, and she had interpreted all his
|
|
behavior easily enough by her supposition that Mr. Casaubon's codicil
|
|
seemed to him, as it did to her, a gross and cruel interdict on
|
|
any active friendship between them. Their young delight in speaking
|
|
to each other, and saying what no one else would care to hear,
|
|
was forever ended, and become a treasure of the past. For this
|
|
very reason she dwelt on it without inward check. That unique
|
|
happiness too was dead, and in its shadowed silent chamber she
|
|
might vent the passionate grief which she herself wondered at.
|
|
For the first time she took down the miniature from the wall and kept
|
|
it before her, liking to blend the woman who had been too hardly
|
|
judged with the grandson whom her own heart and judgment defended.
|
|
Can any one who has rejoiced in woman's tenderness think it a reproach
|
|
to her that she took the little oval picture in her palm and made
|
|
a bed for it there, and leaned her cheek upon it, as if that would
|
|
soothe the creatures who had suffered unjust condemnation?
|
|
She did not know then that it was Love who had come to her briefly,
|
|
as in a dream before awaking, with the hues of morning on his wings--
|
|
that it was Love to whom she was sobbing her farewell as his image
|
|
was banished by the blameless rigor of irresistible day. She only
|
|
felt that there was something irrevocably amiss and lost in her lot,
|
|
and her thoughts about the future were the more readily shapen
|
|
into resolve. Ardent souls, ready to construct their coming lives,
|
|
are apt to commit themselves to the fulfilment of their own visions.
|
|
|
|
One day that she went to Freshitt to fulfil her promise of staying
|
|
all night and seeing baby washed, Mrs. Cadwallader came to dine,
|
|
the Rector being gone on a fishing excursion. It was a warm evening,
|
|
and even in the delightful drawing-room, where the fine old turf sloped
|
|
from the open window towards a lilied pool and well-planted mounds,
|
|
the heat was enough to make Celia in her white muslin and light curls
|
|
reflect with pity on what Dodo must feel in her black dress and
|
|
close cap. But this was not until some episodes with baby were over,
|
|
and had left her mind at leisure. She had seated herself and taken
|
|
up a fan for some time before she said, in her quiet guttural--
|
|
|
|
"Dear Dodo, do throw off that cap. I am sure your dress must make
|
|
you feel ill."
|
|
|
|
"I am so used to the cap--it has become a sort of shell,"
|
|
said Dorothea, smiling. "I feel rather bare and exposed when it
|
|
is off."
|
|
|
|
"I must see you without it; it makes us all warm," said Celia,
|
|
throwing down her fan, and going to Dorothea. It was a pretty picture
|
|
to see this little lady in white muslin unfastening the widow's
|
|
cap from her more majestic sister, and tossing it on to a chair.
|
|
Just as the coils and braids of dark-brown hair had been set free,
|
|
Sir James entered the room. He looked at the released head, and said,
|
|
"Ah!" in a tone of satisfaction.
|
|
|
|
"It was I who did it, James," said Celia. "Dodo need not make
|
|
such a slavery of her mourning; she need not wear that cap any
|
|
more among her friends."
|
|
|
|
"My dear Celia," said Lady Chettam, "a widow must wear her
|
|
mourning at least a year."
|
|
|
|
"Not if she marries again before the end of it," said Mrs. Cadwallader,
|
|
who had some pleasure in startling her good friend the Dowager.
|
|
Sir James was annoyed, and leaned forward to play with Celia's
|
|
Maltese dog.
|
|
|
|
"That is very rare, I hope," said Lady Chettam, in a tone intended
|
|
to guard against such events. "No friend of ours ever committed
|
|
herself in that way except Mrs. Beevor, and it was very painful to
|
|
Lord Grinsell when she did so. Her first husband was objectionable,
|
|
which made it the greater wonder. And severely she was punished
|
|
for it. They said Captain Beevor dragged her about by the hair,
|
|
and held up loaded pistols at her."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, if she took the wrong man!" said Mrs. Cadwallader, who was in a
|
|
decidedly wicked mood. "Marriage is always bad then, first or second.
|
|
Priority is a poor recommendation in a husband if he has got no other.
|
|
I would rather have a good second husband than an indifferent first."
|
|
|
|
"My dear, your clever tongue runs away with you," said Lady Chettam.
|
|
"I am sure you would be the last woman to marry again prematurely,
|
|
if our dear Rector were taken away."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I make no vows; it might be a necessary economy. It is
|
|
lawful to marry again, I suppose; else we might as well be Hindoos
|
|
instead of Christians. Of course if a woman accepts the wrong man,
|
|
she must take the consequences, and one who does it twice over
|
|
deserves her fate. But if she can marry blood, beauty, and bravery--
|
|
the sooner the better."
|
|
|
|
"I think the subject of our conversation is very ill-chosen,"
|
|
said Sir James, with a look of disgust. "Suppose we change it."
|
|
|
|
"Not on my account, Sir James," said Dorothea, determined not to lose
|
|
the opportunity of freeing herself from certain oblique references
|
|
to excellent matches. "If you are speaking on my behalf, I can
|
|
assure you that no question can be more indifferent and impersonal
|
|
to me than second marriage. It is no more to me than if you talked
|
|
of women going fox-hunting: whether it is admirable in them or not,
|
|
I shall not follow them. Pray let Mrs. Cadwallader amuse herself
|
|
on that subject as much as on any other."
|
|
|
|
"My dear Mrs. Casaubon," said Lady Chettam, in her stateliest way,
|
|
"you do not, I hope, think there was any allusion to you in my
|
|
mentioning Mrs. Beevor. It was only an instance that occurred to me.
|
|
She was step-daughter to Lord Grinsell: he married Mrs. Teveroy
|
|
for his second wife. There could be no possible allusion to you."
|
|
|
|
"Oh no," said Celia. "Nobody chose the subject; it all came out
|
|
of Dodo's cap. Mrs. Cadwallader only said what was quite true.
|
|
A woman could not be married in a widow's cap, James."
|
|
|
|
"Hush, my dear!" said Mrs. Cadwallader. "I will not offend again.
|
|
I will not even refer to Dido or Zenobia. Only what are we to
|
|
talk about? I, for my part, object to the discussion of Human Nature,
|
|
because that is the nature of rectors' wives."
|
|
|
|
Later in the evening, after Mrs. Cadwallader was gone, Celia said
|
|
privately to Dorothea, "Really, Dodo, taking your cap off made
|
|
you like yourself again in more ways than one. You spoke up just
|
|
as you used to do, when anything was said to displease you. But I
|
|
could hardly make out whether it was James that you thought wrong,
|
|
or Mrs. Cadwallader."
|
|
|
|
"Neither," said Dorothea. "James spoke out of delicacy to me, but he
|
|
was mistaken in supposing that I minded what Mrs. Cadwallader said.
|
|
I should only mind if there were a law obliging me to take any piece
|
|
of blood and beauty that she or anybody else recommended."
|
|
|
|
"But you know, Dodo, if you ever did marry, it would be all the better
|
|
to have blood and beauty," said Celia, reflecting that Mr. Casaubon
|
|
had not been richly endowed with those gifts, and that it would
|
|
be well to caution Dorothea in time.
|
|
|
|
"Don't be anxious, Kitty; I have quite other thoughts about my life.
|
|
I shall never marry again," said Dorothea, touching her sister's chin,
|
|
and looking at her with indulgent affection. Celia was nursing
|
|
her baby, and Dorothea had come to say good-night to her.
|
|
|
|
"Really--quite?" said Celia. "Not anybody at all--if he were
|
|
very wonderful indeed?"
|
|
|
|
Dorothea shook her head slowly. "Not anybody at all. I have
|
|
delightful plans. I should like to take a great deal of land,
|
|
and drain it, and make a little colony, where everybody should work,
|
|
and all the work should be done well. I should know every one of the
|
|
people and be their friend. I am going to have great consultations
|
|
with Mr. Garth: he can tell me almost everything I want to know."
|
|
|
|
"Then you WILL be happy, if you have a plan, Dodo?" said Celia.
|
|
"Perhaps little Arthur will like plans when he grows up, and then he
|
|
can help you."
|
|
|
|
Sir James was informed that same night that Dorothea was really
|
|
quite set against marrying anybody at all, and was going to take
|
|
to "all sorts of plans," just like what she used to have.
|
|
Sir James made no remark. To his secret feeling there was something
|
|
repulsive in a woman's second marriage, and no match would prevent
|
|
him from feeling it a sort of desecration for Dorothea. He was
|
|
aware that the world would regard such a sentiment as preposterous,
|
|
especially in relation to a woman of one-and-twenty; the practice
|
|
of "the world" being to treat of a young widow's second marriage
|
|
as certain and probably near, and to smile with meaning if the widow
|
|
acts accordingly. But if Dorothea did choose to espouse her solitude,
|
|
he felt that the resolution would well become her.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LVI.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"How happy is he born and taught
|
|
That serveth not another's will;
|
|
Whose armor is his honest thought,
|
|
And simple truth his only skill!
|
|
. . . . . . .
|
|
This man is freed from servile bands
|
|
Of hope to rise or fear to fall;
|
|
Lord of himself though not of lands;
|
|
And having nothing yet hath all."
|
|
--SIR HENRY WOTTON.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dorothea's confidence in Caleb Garth's knowledge, which had begun
|
|
on her hearing that he approved of her cottages, had grown fast
|
|
during her stay at Freshitt, Sir James having induced her to take
|
|
rides over the two estates in company with himself and Caleb,
|
|
who quite returned her admiration, and told his wife that Mrs. Casaubon
|
|
had a head for business most uncommon in a woman. It must be
|
|
remembered that by "business" Caleb never meant money transactions,
|
|
but the skilful application of labor.
|
|
|
|
"Most uncommon!" repeated Caleb. "She said a thing I often used
|
|
to think myself when I was a lad:--`Mr. Garth, I should like
|
|
to feel, if I lived to be old, that I had improved a great piece
|
|
of land and built a great many good cottages, because the work
|
|
is of a healthy kind while it is being done, and after it is done,
|
|
men are the better for it.' Those were the very words: she sees
|
|
into things in that way."
|
|
|
|
"But womanly, I hope," said Mrs. Garth, half suspecting that
|
|
Mrs. Casaubon might not hold the true principle of subordination.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, you can't think!" said Caleb, shaking his head. "You would
|
|
like to hear her speak, Susan. She speaks in such plain words,
|
|
and a voice like music. Bless me! it reminds me of bits in the
|
|
`Messiah'--`and straightway there appeared a multitude of the
|
|
heavenly host, praising God and saying;' it has a tone with it
|
|
that satisfies your ear."
|
|
|
|
Caleb was very fond of music, and when he could afford it went
|
|
to hear an oratorio that came within his reach, returning from it
|
|
with a profound reverence for this mighty structure of tones,
|
|
which made him sit meditatively, looking on the floor and throwing
|
|
much unutterable language into his outstretched hands.
|
|
|
|
With this good understanding between them, it was natural that Dorothea
|
|
asked Mr. Garth to undertake any business connected with the three
|
|
farms and the numerous tenements attached to Lowick Manor; indeed,
|
|
his expectation of getting work for two was being fast fulfilled.
|
|
As he said, "Business breeds." And one form of business which was
|
|
beginning to breed just then was the construction of railways.
|
|
A projected line was to run through Lowick parish where the
|
|
cattle had hitherto grazed in a peace unbroken by astonishment;
|
|
and thus it happened that the infant struggles of the railway system
|
|
entered into the affairs of Caleb Garth, and determined the course
|
|
of this history with regard to two persons who were dear to him.
|
|
The submarine railway may have its difficulties; but the bed of the
|
|
sea is not divided among various landed proprietors with claims
|
|
for damages not only measurable but sentimental. In the hundred
|
|
to which Middlemarch belonged railways were as exciting a topic as the
|
|
Reform Bill or the imminent horrors of Cholera, and those who held
|
|
the most decided views on the subject were women and landholders.
|
|
Women both old and young regarded travelling by steam as presumptuous
|
|
and dangerous, and argued against it by saying that nothing should
|
|
induce them to get into a railway carriage; while proprietors,
|
|
differing from each other in their arguments as much as Mr. Solomon
|
|
Featherstone differed from Lord Medlicote, were yet unanimous in the
|
|
opinion that in selling land, whether to the Enemy of mankind or to a
|
|
company obliged to purchase, these pernicious agencies must be made
|
|
to pay a very high price to landowners for permission to injure mankind.
|
|
|
|
But the slower wits, such as Mr. Solomon and Mrs. Waule,
|
|
who both occupied land of their own, took a long time to
|
|
arrive at this conclusion, their minds halting at the vivid
|
|
conception of what it would be to cut the Big Pasture in two,
|
|
and turn it into three-cornered bits, which would be "nohow;"
|
|
while accommodation-bridges and high payments were remote and incredible.
|
|
|
|
"The cows will all cast their calves, brother," said Mrs. Waule, in a
|
|
tone of deep melancholy, "if the railway comes across the Near Close;
|
|
and I shouldn't wonder at the mare too, if she was in foal.
|
|
It's a poor tale if a widow's property is to be spaded away,
|
|
and the law say nothing to it. What's to hinder 'em from cutting
|
|
right and left if they begin? It's well known, _I_ can't fight."
|
|
|
|
"The best way would be to say nothing, and set somebody on to send 'em
|
|
away with a flea in their ear, when they came spying and measuring,"
|
|
said Solomon. "Folks did that about Brassing, by what I can understand.
|
|
It's all a pretence, if the truth was known, about their being
|
|
forced to take one way. Let 'em go cutting in another parish.
|
|
And I don't believe in any pay to make amends for bringing a lot
|
|
of ruffians to trample your crops. Where's a company's pocket?"
|
|
|
|
"Brother Peter, God forgive him, got money out of a company,"
|
|
said Mrs. Waule. "But that was for the manganese. That wasn't
|
|
for railways to blow you to pieces right and left."
|
|
|
|
"Well, there's this to be said, Jane," Mr. Solomon concluded,
|
|
lowering his voice in a cautious manner--"the more spokes we put
|
|
in their wheel, the more they'll pay us to let 'em go on, if they
|
|
must come whether or not."
|
|
|
|
This reasoning of Mr. Solomon's was perhaps less thorough than
|
|
he imagined, his cunning bearing about the same relation to the course
|
|
of railways as the cunning of a diplomatist bears to the general
|
|
chill or catarrh of the solar system. But he set about acting on his
|
|
views in a thoroughly diplomatic manner, by stimulating suspicion.
|
|
His side of Lowick was the most remote from the village, and the
|
|
houses of the laboring people were either lone cottages or were
|
|
collected in a hamlet called Frick, where a water-mill and some
|
|
stone-pits made a little centre of slow, heavy-shouldered industry.
|
|
|
|
In the absence of any precise idea as to what railways were,
|
|
public opinion in Frick was against them; for the human mind in that
|
|
grassy corner had not the proverbial tendency to admire the unknown,
|
|
holding rather that it was likely to be against the poor man,
|
|
and that suspicion was the only wise attitude with regard to it.
|
|
Even the rumor of Reform had not yet excited any millennial expectations
|
|
in Frick, there being no definite promise in it, as of gratuitous
|
|
grains to fatten Hiram Ford's pig, or of a publican at the "Weights
|
|
and Scales" who would brew beer for nothing, or of an offer on the
|
|
part of the three neighboring farmers to raise wages during winter.
|
|
And without distinct good of this kind in its promises, Reform seemed
|
|
on a footing with the bragging of pedlers, which was a hint for
|
|
distrust to every knowing person. The men of Frick were not ill-fed,
|
|
and were less given to fanaticism than to a strong muscular suspicion;
|
|
less inclined to believe that they were peculiarly cared for by heaven,
|
|
than to regard heaven itself as rather disposed to take them in--
|
|
a disposition observable in the weather.
|
|
|
|
Thus the mind of Frick was exactly of the sort for Mr. Solomon
|
|
Featherstone to work upon, he having more plenteous ideas of the
|
|
same order, with a suspicion of heaven and earth which was better
|
|
fed and more entirely at leisure. Solomon was overseer of the
|
|
roads at that time, and on his slow-paced cob often took his
|
|
rounds by Frick to look at the workmen getting the stones there,
|
|
pausing with a mysterious deliberation, which might have misled
|
|
you into supposing that he had some other reason for staying
|
|
than the mere want of impulse to move. After looking for a long
|
|
while at any work that was going on, he would raise his eyes a
|
|
little and look at the horizon; finally he would shake his bridle,
|
|
touch his horse with the whip, and get it to move slowly onward.
|
|
The hour-hand of a clock was quick by comparison with Mr. Solomon,
|
|
who had an agreeable sense that he could afford to be slow.
|
|
He was in the habit of pausing for a cautious, vaguely designing chat
|
|
with every hedger or ditcher on his way, and was especially willing
|
|
to listen even to news which he had heard before, feeling himself
|
|
at an advantage over all narrators in partially disbelieving them.
|
|
One day, however, he got into a dialogue with Hiram Ford, a wagoner,
|
|
in which he himself contributed information. He wished to know whether
|
|
Hiram had seen fellows with staves and instruments spying about:
|
|
they called themselves railroad people, but there was no telling
|
|
what they were or what they meant to do. The least they pretended
|
|
was that they were going to cut Lowick Parish into sixes and sevens.
|
|
|
|
"Why, there'll be no stirrin' from one pla-ace to another,"
|
|
said Hiram, thinking of his wagon and horses.
|
|
|
|
"Not a bit," said Mr. Solomon. "And cutting up fine land such as
|
|
this parish! Let 'em go into Tipton, say I. But there's no knowing
|
|
what there is at the bottom of it. Traffic is what they put for'ard;
|
|
but it's to do harm to the land and the poor man in the long-run."
|
|
|
|
"Why, they're Lunnon chaps, I reckon," said Hiram, who had a dim
|
|
notion of London as a centre of hostility to the country.
|
|
|
|
"Ay, to be sure. And in some parts against Brassing, by what I've
|
|
heard say, the folks fell on 'em when they were spying, and broke
|
|
their peep-holes as they carry, and drove 'em away, so as they knew
|
|
better than come again."
|
|
|
|
"It war good foon, I'd be bound," said Hiram, whose fun was much
|
|
restricted by circumstances.
|
|
|
|
"Well, I wouldn't meddle with 'em myself," said Solomon.
|
|
"But some say this country's seen its best days, and the sign is,
|
|
as it's being overrun with these fellows trampling right and left,
|
|
and wanting to cut it up into railways; and all for the big traffic
|
|
to swallow up the little, so as there shan't be a team left on the land,
|
|
nor a whip to crack."
|
|
|
|
"I'll crack MY whip about their ear'n, afore they bring it
|
|
to that, though," said Hiram, while Mr. Solomon, shaking his bridle,
|
|
moved onward.
|
|
|
|
Nettle-seed needs no digging. The ruin of this countryside by
|
|
railroads was discussed, not only at the "Weights and Scales,"
|
|
but in the hay-field, where the muster of working hands gave
|
|
opportunities for talk such as were rarely had through the rural year.
|
|
|
|
One morning, not long after that interview between Mr. Farebrother
|
|
and Mary Garth, in which she confessed to him her feeling for
|
|
Fred Vincy, it happened that her father had some business which took
|
|
him to Yoddrell's farm in the direction of Frick: it was to measure
|
|
and value an outlying piece of land belonging to Lowick Manor,
|
|
which Caleb expected to dispose of advantageously for Dorothea (it
|
|
must be confessed that his bias was towards getting the best possible
|
|
terms from railroad companies). He put up his gig at Yoddrell's, and in
|
|
walking with his assistant and measuring-chain to the scene of his work,
|
|
he encountered the party of the company's agents, who were adjusting
|
|
their spirit-level. After a little chat he left them, observing that
|
|
by-and-by they would reach him again where he was going to measure.
|
|
It was one of those gray mornings after light rains, which become
|
|
delicious about twelve o'clock, when the clouds part a little,
|
|
and the scent of the earth is sweet along the lanes and by the hedgerows.
|
|
|
|
The scent would have been sweeter to Fred Vincy, who was coming
|
|
along the lanes on horseback, if his mind had not been worried
|
|
by unsuccessful efforts to imagine what he was to do, with his
|
|
father on one side expecting him straightway to enter the Church,
|
|
with Mary on the other threatening to forsake him if he did enter it,
|
|
and with the working-day world showing no eager need whatever
|
|
of a young gentleman without capital and generally unskilled.
|
|
It was the harder to Fred's disposition because his father,
|
|
satisfied that he was no longer rebellious, was in good humor with him,
|
|
and had sent him on this pleasant ride to see after some greyhounds.
|
|
Even when he had fixed on what he should do, there would be the task
|
|
of telling his father. But it must be admitted that the fixing,
|
|
which had to come first, was the more difficult task:--what secular
|
|
avocation on earth was there for a young man (whose friends could
|
|
not get him an "appointment") which was at once gentlemanly,
|
|
lucrative, and to be followed without special knowledge?
|
|
Riding along the lanes by Frick in this mood, and slackening
|
|
his pace while he reflected whether he should venture to go round
|
|
by Lowick Parsonage to call on Mary, he could see over the hedges
|
|
from one field to another. Suddenly a noise roused his attention,
|
|
and on the far side of a field on his left hand he could see six
|
|
or seven men in smock-frocks with hay-forks in their hands making
|
|
an offensive approach towards the four railway agents who were
|
|
facing them, while Caleb Garth and his assistant were hastening
|
|
across the field to join the threatened group. Fred, delayed a few
|
|
moments by having to find the gate, could not gallop up to the spot
|
|
before the party in smock-frocks, whose work of turning the hay
|
|
had not been too pressing after swallowing their mid-day beer,
|
|
were driving the men in coats before them with their hay-forks;
|
|
while Caleb Garth's assistant, a lad of seventeen, who had snatched
|
|
up the spirit-level at Caleb's order, had been knocked down and
|
|
seemed to be lying helpless. The coated men had the advantage
|
|
as runners, and Fred covered their retreat by getting in front
|
|
of the smock-frocks and charging them suddenly enough to throw
|
|
their chase into confusion. "What do you confounded fools mean?"
|
|
shouted Fred, pursuing the divided group in a zigzag, and cutting
|
|
right and left with his whip. "I'll swear to every one of you
|
|
before the magistrate. You've knocked the lad down and killed him,
|
|
for what I know. You'll every one of you be hanged at the next assizes,
|
|
if you don't mind," said Fred, who afterwards laughed heartily as he
|
|
remembered his own phrases.
|
|
|
|
The laborers had been driven through the gate-way into their
|
|
hay-field, and Fred had checked his horse, when Hiram Ford,
|
|
observing himself at a safe challenging distance, turned back
|
|
and shouted a defiance which he did not know to be Homeric.
|
|
|
|
"Yo're a coward, yo are. Yo git off your horse, young measter,
|
|
and I'll have a round wi' ye, I wull. Yo daredn't come on wi'out
|
|
your hoss an' whip. I'd soon knock the breath out on ye, I would."
|
|
|
|
"Wait a minute, and I'll come back presently, and have a round
|
|
with you all in turn, if you like," said Fred, who felt confidence
|
|
in his power of boxing with his dearly beloved brethren. But just
|
|
now he wanted to hasten back to Caleb and the prostrate youth.
|
|
|
|
The lad's ankle was strained, and he was in much pain from it,
|
|
but he was no further hurt, and Fred placed him on the horse that he
|
|
might ride to Yoddrell's and be taken care of there.
|
|
|
|
"Let them put the horse in the stable, and tell the surveyors they
|
|
can come back for their traps," said Fred. "The ground is clear now."
|
|
|
|
"No, no," said Caleb, "here's a breakage. They'll have to give up
|
|
for to-day, and it will be as well. Here, take the things before you
|
|
on the horse, Tom. They'll see you coming, and they'll turn back."
|
|
|
|
"I'm glad I happened to be here at the right moment, Mr. Garth,"
|
|
said Fred, as Tom rode away. "No knowing what might have happened
|
|
if the cavalry had not come up in time."
|
|
|
|
"Ay, ay, it was lucky," said Caleb, speaking rather absently,
|
|
and looking towards the spot where he had been at work at the moment
|
|
of interruption. "But--deuce take it--this is what comes of men
|
|
being fools--I'm hindered of my day's work. I can't get along
|
|
without somebody to help me with the measuring-chain. However!"
|
|
He was beginning to move towards the spot with a look of vexation,
|
|
as if he had forgotten Fred's presence, but suddenly he turned round
|
|
and said quickly, "What have you got to do to-day, young fellow?"
|
|
|
|
"Nothing, Mr. Garth. I'll help you with pleasure--can I?" said Fred,
|
|
with a sense that he should be courting Mary when he was helping
|
|
her father.
|
|
|
|
"Well, you mustn't mind stooping and getting hot."
|
|
|
|
"I don't mind anything. Only I want to go first and have a round
|
|
with that hulky fellow who turned to challenge me. It would
|
|
be a good lesson for him. I shall not be five minutes."
|
|
|
|
"Nonsense!" said Caleb, with his most peremptory intonation.
|
|
"I shall go and speak to the men myself. It's all ignorance.
|
|
Somebody has been telling them lies. The poor fools don't know
|
|
any better."
|
|
|
|
"I shall go with you, then," said Fred.
|
|
|
|
"No, no; stay where you are. I don't want your young blood.
|
|
I can take care of myself."
|
|
|
|
Caleb was a powerful man and knew little of any fear except the fear
|
|
of hurting others and the fear of having to speechify. But he felt
|
|
it his duty at this moment to try and give a little harangue.
|
|
There was a striking mixture in him--which came from his having
|
|
always been a hard-working man himself--of rigorous notions about
|
|
workmen and practical indulgence towards them. To do a good day's
|
|
work and to do it well, he held to be part of their welfare, as it
|
|
was the chief part of his own happiness; but he had a strong sense
|
|
of fellowship with them. When he advanced towards the laborers
|
|
they had not gone to work again, but were standing in that form
|
|
of rural grouping which consists in each turning a shoulder towards
|
|
the other, at a distance of two or three yards. They looked
|
|
rather sulkily at Caleb, who walked quickly with one hand in his
|
|
pocket and the other thrust between the buttons of his waistcoat,
|
|
and had his every-day mild air when he paused among them.
|
|
|
|
"Why, my lads, how's this?" he began, taking as usual to brief phrases,
|
|
which seemed pregnant to himself, because he had many thoughts lying
|
|
under them, like the abundant roots of a plant that just manages to
|
|
peep above the water. "How came you to make such a mistake as this?
|
|
Somebody has been telling you lies. You thought those men up there
|
|
wanted to do mischief."
|
|
|
|
"Aw!" was the answer, dropped at intervals by each according
|
|
to his degree of unreadiness.
|
|
|
|
"Nonsense! No such thing! They're looking out to see which way the
|
|
railroad is to take. Now, my lads, you can't hinder the railroad:
|
|
it will be made whether you like it or not. And if you go fighting
|
|
against it, you'll get yourselves into trouble. The law gives
|
|
those men leave to come here on the land. The owner has nothing
|
|
to say against it, and if you meddle with them you'll have to do
|
|
with the constable and Justice Blakesley, and with the handcuffs
|
|
and Middlemarch jail. And you might be in for it now, if anybody
|
|
informed against you."
|
|
|
|
Caleb paused here, and perhaps the greatest orator could not have
|
|
chosen either his pause or his images better for the occasion.
|
|
|
|
"But come, you didn't mean any harm. Somebody told you the railroad
|
|
was a bad thing. That was a lie. It may do a bit of harm here
|
|
and there, to this and to that; and so does the sun in heaven.
|
|
But the railway's a good thing."
|
|
|
|
"Aw! good for the big folks to make money out on," said old
|
|
Timothy Cooper, who had stayed behind turning his hay while
|
|
the others had been gone on their spree;--"I'n seen lots o'
|
|
things turn up sin' I war a young un--the war an' the peace,
|
|
and the canells, an' the oald King George, an' the Regen', an'
|
|
the new King George, an' the new un as has got a new ne-ame--an'
|
|
it's been all aloike to the poor mon. What's the canells been t' him?
|
|
They'n brought him neyther me-at nor be-acon, nor wage to lay by,
|
|
if he didn't save it wi' clemmin' his own inside. Times ha'
|
|
got wusser for him sin' I war a young un. An' so it'll be wi'
|
|
the railroads. They'll on'y leave the poor mon furder behind.
|
|
But them are fools as meddle, and so I told the chaps here.
|
|
This is the big folks's world, this is. But yo're for the big folks,
|
|
Muster Garth, yo are."
|
|
|
|
Timothy was a wiry old laborer, of a type lingering in those times--
|
|
who had his savings in a stocking-foot, lived in a lone cottage,
|
|
and was not to be wrought on by any oratory, having as little of
|
|
the feudal spirit, and believing as little, as if he had not been
|
|
totally unacquainted with the Age of Reason and the Rights of Man.
|
|
Caleb was in a difficulty known to any person attempting in dark
|
|
times and unassisted by miracle to reason with rustics who are in
|
|
possession of an undeniable truth which they know through a hard
|
|
process of feeling, and can let it fall like a giant's club on your
|
|
neatly carved argument for a social benefit which they do not feel.
|
|
Caleb had no cant at command, even if he could have chosen to use it;
|
|
and he had been accustomed to meet all such difficulties in no other
|
|
way than by doing his "business" faithfully. He answered--
|
|
|
|
"If you don't think well of me, Tim, never mind; that's neither here
|
|
nor there now. Things may be bad for the poor man--bad they are;
|
|
but I want the lads here not to do what will make things worse
|
|
for themselves. The cattle may have a heavy load, but it won't
|
|
help 'em to throw it over into the roadside pit, when it's partly
|
|
their own fodder."
|
|
|
|
"We war on'y for a bit o' foon," said Hiram, who was beginning
|
|
to see consequences. "That war all we war arter."
|
|
|
|
"Well, promise me not to meddle again, and I'll see that nobody
|
|
informs against you."
|
|
|
|
"I'n ne'er meddled, an' I'n no call to promise," said Timothy.
|
|
|
|
"No, but the rest. Come, I'm as hard at work as any of you
|
|
to-day, and I can't spare much time. Say you'll be quiet without
|
|
the constable."
|
|
|
|
"Aw, we wooant meddle--they may do as they loike for oos"--
|
|
were the forms in which Caleb got his pledges; and then he hastened
|
|
back to Fred, who had followed him, and watched him in the gateway.
|
|
|
|
They went to work, and Fred helped vigorously. His spirits had risen,
|
|
and he heartily enjoyed a good slip in the moist earth under
|
|
the hedgerow, which soiled his perfect summer trousers. Was it his
|
|
successful onset which had elated him, or the satisfaction of helping
|
|
Mary's father? Something more. The accidents of the morning had
|
|
helped his frustrated imagination to shape an employment for himself
|
|
which had several attractions. I am not sure that certain fibres
|
|
in Mr. Garth's mind had not resumed their old vibration towards
|
|
the very end which now revealed itself to Fred. For the effective
|
|
accident is but the touch of fire where there is oil and tow; and it
|
|
al ways appeared to Fred that the railway brought the needed touch.
|
|
But they went on in silence except when their business demanded speech.
|
|
At last, when they had finished and were walking away, Mr. Garth said--
|
|
|
|
"A young fellow needn't be a B. A. to do this sort of work, eh, Fred?"
|
|
|
|
"I wish I had taken to it before I had thought of being a B. A.,"
|
|
said Fred. He paused a moment, and then added, more hesitatingly,
|
|
"Do you think I am too old to learn your business, Mr. Garth?"
|
|
|
|
"My business is of many sorts, my boy," said Mr. Garth, smiling.
|
|
"A good deal of what I know can only come from experience:
|
|
you can't learn it off as you learn things out of a book.
|
|
But you are young enough to lay a foundation yet." Caleb pronounced
|
|
the last sentence emphatically, but paused in some uncertainty.
|
|
He had been under the impression lately that Fred had made up his mind
|
|
to enter the Church.
|
|
|
|
"You do think I could do some good at it, if I were to try?"
|
|
said Fred, more eagerly.
|
|
|
|
"That depends," said Caleb, turning his head on one side and lowering
|
|
his voice, with the air of a man who felt himself to be saying
|
|
something deeply religious. "You must be sure of two things:
|
|
you must love your work, and not be always looking over the edge
|
|
of it, wanting your play to begin. And the other is, you must not
|
|
be ashamed of your work, and think it would be more honorable to you
|
|
to be doing something else. You must have a pride in your own work
|
|
and in learning to do it well, and not be always saying, There's this
|
|
and there's that--if I had this or that to do, I might make something
|
|
of it. No matter what a man is--I wouldn't give twopence for him"--
|
|
here Caleb's mouth looked bitter, and he snapped his fingers--
|
|
"whether he was the prime minister or the rick-thatcher, if he
|
|
didn't do well what he undertook to do."
|
|
|
|
"I can never feel that I should do that in being a clergyman,"
|
|
said Fred, meaning to take a step in argument.
|
|
|
|
"Then let it alone, my boy," said Caleb, abruptly, "else you'll
|
|
never be easy. Or, if you ARE easy, you'll be a poor stick."
|
|
|
|
"That is very nearly what Mary thinks about it," said Fred, coloring.
|
|
"I think you must know what I feel for Mary, Mr. Garth: I hope
|
|
it does not displease you that I have always loved her better
|
|
than any one else, and that I shall never love any one as I love her."
|
|
|
|
The expression of Caleb's face was visibly softening while Fred spoke.
|
|
But he swung his head with a solemn slowness, and said--
|
|
|
|
"That makes things more serious, Fred, if you want to take Mary's
|
|
happiness into your keeping."
|
|
|
|
"I know that, Mr. Garth," said Fred, eagerly, "and I would do anything
|
|
for HER. She says she will never have me if I go into the Church;
|
|
and I shall be the most miserable devil in the world if I lose all hope
|
|
of Mary. Really, if I could get some other profession, business--
|
|
anything that I am at all fit for, I would work hard, I would deserve
|
|
your good opinion. I should like to have to do with outdoor things.
|
|
I know a good deal about land and cattle already. I used to believe,
|
|
you know--though you will think me rather foolish for it--that I
|
|
should have land of my own. I am sure knowledge of that sort would
|
|
come easily to me, especially if I could be under you in any way."
|
|
|
|
"Softly, my boy," said Caleb, having the image of "Susan" before
|
|
his eyes. "What have you said to your father about all this?"
|
|
|
|
"Nothing, yet; but I must tell him. I am only waiting to know
|
|
what I can do instead of entering the Church. I am very sorry to
|
|
disappoint him, but a man ought to be allowed to judge for himself
|
|
when he is four-and-twenty. How could I know when I was fifteen,
|
|
what it would be right for me to do now? My education was a mistake."
|
|
|
|
"But hearken to this, Fred," said Caleb. "Are you sure Mary
|
|
is fond of you, or would ever have you?"
|
|
|
|
"I asked Mr. Farebrother to talk to her, because she had forbidden me--
|
|
I didn't know what else to do," said Fred, apologetically. "And he
|
|
says that I have every reason to hope, if I can put myself in an
|
|
honorable position--I mean, out of the Church I dare say you think it
|
|
unwarrantable in me, Mr. Garth, to be troubling you and obtruding my
|
|
own wishes about Mary, before I have done anything at all for myself.
|
|
Of course I have not the least claim--indeed, I have already a debt
|
|
to you which will never be discharged, even when I have been,
|
|
able to pay it in the shape of money."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, my boy, you have a claim," said Caleb, with much feeling
|
|
in his voice. "The young ones have always a claim on the old to
|
|
help them forward. I was young myself once and had to do without
|
|
much help; but help would have been welcome to me, if it had been
|
|
only for the fellow-feeling's sake. But I must consider. Come to
|
|
me to-morrow at the office, at nine o'clock. At the office, mind."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Garth would take no important step without consulting Susan,
|
|
but it must be confessed that before he reached home he had
|
|
taken his resolution. With regard to a large number of matters
|
|
about which other men are decided or obstinate, he was the most
|
|
easily manageable man in the world. He never knew what meat
|
|
he would choose, and if Susan had said that they ought to live
|
|
in a four-roomed cottage, in order to save, he would have said,
|
|
"Let us go," without inquiring into details. But where Caleb's
|
|
feeling and judgment strongly pronounced, he was a ruler;
|
|
and in spite of his mildness and timidity in reproving, every one
|
|
about him knew that on the exceptional occasions when he chose,
|
|
he was absolute. He never, indeed, chose to be absolute except on
|
|
some one else's behalf. On ninety-nine points Mrs. Garth decided,
|
|
but on the hundredth she was often aware that she would have to perform
|
|
the singularly difficult task of carrying out her own principle,
|
|
and to make herself subordinate.
|
|
|
|
"It is come round as I thought, Susan," said Caleb, when they were
|
|
seated alone in the evening. He had already narrated the adventure
|
|
which had brought about Fred's sharing in his work, but had kept
|
|
back the further result. "The children ARE fond of each other--
|
|
I mean, Fred and Mary."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Garth laid her work on her knee, and fixed her penetrating
|
|
eyes anxiously on her husband.
|
|
|
|
"After we'd done our work, Fred poured it all out to me. He can't
|
|
bear to be a clergyman, and Mary says she won't have him if he is one;
|
|
and the lad would like to be under me and give his mind to business.
|
|
And I've determined to take him and make a man of him."
|
|
|
|
"Caleb!" said Mrs. Garth, in a deep contralto, expressive of
|
|
resigned astonishment.
|
|
|
|
"It's a fine thing to do," said Mr. Garth, settling himself
|
|
firmly against the back of his chair, and grasping the elbows.
|
|
"I shall have trouble with him, but I think I shall carry
|
|
it through. The lad loves Mary, and a true love for a good
|
|
woman is a great thing, Susan. It shapes many a rough fellow."
|
|
|
|
"Has Mary spoken to you on the subject?" said Mrs Garth, secretly a
|
|
little hurt that she had to be informed on it herself.
|
|
|
|
"Not a word. I asked her about Fred once; I gave her a bit of a warning.
|
|
But she assured me she would never marry an idle self-indulgent man--
|
|
nothing since. But it seems Fred set on Mr. Farebrother to talk to her,
|
|
because she had forbidden him to speak himself, and Mr. Farebrother
|
|
has found out that she is fond of Fred, but says he must not be
|
|
a clergyman. Fred's heart is fixed on Mary, that I can see:
|
|
it gives me a good opinion of the lad--and we always liked him, Susan."
|
|
|
|
"It is a pity for Mary, I think," said Mrs. Garth.
|
|
|
|
"Why--a pity?"
|
|
|
|
"Because, Caleb, she might have had a man who is worth twenty
|
|
Fred Vincy's."
|
|
|
|
"Ah?" said Caleb, with surprise.
|
|
|
|
"I firmly believe that Mr. Farebrother is attached to her,
|
|
and meant to make her an offer; but of course, now that Fred has
|
|
used him as an envoy, there is an end to that better prospect."
|
|
There was a severe precision in Mrs. Garth's utterance. She was vexed
|
|
and disappointed, but she was bent on abstaining from useless words.
|
|
|
|
Caleb was silent a few moments under a conflict of feelings.
|
|
He looked at the floor and moved his head and hands in accompaniment
|
|
to some inward argumentation. At last he said--
|
|
|
|
"That would have made me very proud and happy, Susan, and I
|
|
should have been glad for your sake. I've always felt that your
|
|
belongings have never been on a level with you. But you took me,
|
|
though I was a plain man."
|
|
|
|
"I took the best and cleverest man I had ever known," said Mrs. Garth,
|
|
convinced that SHE would never have loved any one who came
|
|
short of that mark.
|
|
|
|
"Well, perhaps others thought you might have done better.
|
|
But it would have been worse for me. And that is what touches me
|
|
close about Fred. The lad is good at bottom, and clever enough
|
|
to do, if he's put in the right way; and he loves and honors my
|
|
daughter beyond anything, and she has given him a sort of promise
|
|
according to what he turns out. I say, that young man's soul is
|
|
in my hand; and I'll do the best I can for him, so help me God!
|
|
It's my duty, Susan."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Garth was not given to tears, but there was a large one
|
|
rolling down her face before her husband had finished. It came
|
|
from the pressure of various feelings, in which there was much
|
|
affection and some vexation. She wiped it away quickly, saying--
|
|
|
|
"Few men besides you would think it a duty to add to their anxieties
|
|
in that way, Caleb."
|
|
|
|
"That signifies nothing--what other men would think. I've got
|
|
a clear feeling inside me, and that I shall follow; and I hope
|
|
your heart will go with me, Susan, in making everything as light
|
|
as can be to Mary, poor child."
|
|
|
|
Caleb, leaning back in his chair, looked with anxious appeal towards
|
|
his wife. She rose and kissed him, saying, "God bless you, Caleb!
|
|
Our children have a good father."
|
|
|
|
But she went out and had a hearty cry to make up for the suppression
|
|
of her words. She felt sure that her husband's conduct would
|
|
be misunderstood, and about Fred she was rational and unhopeful.
|
|
Which would turn out to have the more foresight in it--her rationality
|
|
or Caleb's ardent generosity?
|
|
|
|
When Fred went to the office the next morning, there was a test
|
|
to be gone through which he was not prepared for.
|
|
|
|
"Now Fred," said Caleb, "you will have some desk-work. I have always
|
|
done a good deal of writing myself, but I can't do without help,
|
|
and as I want you to understand the accounts and get the values into
|
|
your head, I mean to do without another clerk. So you must buckle to.
|
|
How are you at writing and arithmetic?"
|
|
|
|
Fred felt an awkward movement of the heart; he had not thought
|
|
of desk-work; but he was in a resolute mood, and not going to shrink.
|
|
"I'm not afraid of arithmetic, Mr. Garth: it always came easily to me.
|
|
I think you know my writing."
|
|
|
|
"Let us see," said Caleb, taking up a pen, examining it carefully
|
|
and handing it, well dipped, to Fred with a sheet of ruled paper.
|
|
"Copy me a line or two of that valuation, with the figures at
|
|
the end."
|
|
|
|
At that time the opinion existed that it was beneath a gentleman
|
|
to write legibly, or with a hand in the least suitable to a clerk.
|
|
Fred wrote the lines demanded in a hand as gentlemanly as that of any
|
|
viscount or bishop of the day: the vowels were all alike and the
|
|
consonants only distinguishable as turning up or down, the strokes
|
|
had a blotted solidity and the letters disdained to keep the line--
|
|
in short, it was a manuscript of that venerable kind easy to interpret
|
|
when you know beforehand what the writer means.
|
|
|
|
As Caleb looked on, his visage showed a growing depression,
|
|
but when Fred handed him the paper he gave something like a snarl,
|
|
and rapped the paper passionately with the back of his hand.
|
|
Bad work like this dispelled all Caleb's mildness.
|
|
|
|
"The deuce!" he exclaimed, snarlingly. "To think that this is
|
|
a country where a man's education may cost hundreds and hundreds,
|
|
and it turns you out this!" Then in a more pathetic tone,
|
|
pushing up his spectacles and looking at the unfortunate scribe,
|
|
"The Lord have mercy on us, Fred, I can't put up with this!"
|
|
|
|
"What can I do, Mr. Garth?" said Fred, whose spirits had sunk very low,
|
|
not only at the estimate of his handwriting, but at the vision
|
|
of himself as liable to be ranked with office clerks.
|
|
|
|
"Do? Why, you must learn to form your letters and keep the line.
|
|
What's the use of writing at all if nobody can understand it?"
|
|
asked Caleb, energetically, quite preoccupied with the bad quality
|
|
of the work. "Is there so little business in the world that you must
|
|
be sending puzzles over the country? But that's the way people are
|
|
brought up. I should lose no end of time with the letters some people
|
|
send me, if Susan did not make them out for me. It's disgusting."
|
|
Here Caleb tossed the paper from him.
|
|
|
|
Any stranger peeping into the office at that moment might have
|
|
wondered what was the drama between the indignant man of business,
|
|
and the fine-looking young fellow whose blond complexion was getting
|
|
rather patchy as he bit his lip with mortification. Fred was struggling
|
|
with many thoughts. Mr. Garth had been so kind and encouraging at
|
|
the beginning of their interview, that gratitude and hopefulness had
|
|
been at a high pitch, and the downfall was proportionate. He had not
|
|
thought of desk-work--in fact, like the majority of young gentlemen,
|
|
he wanted an occupation which should be free from disagreeables.
|
|
I cannot tell what might have been the consequences if he had not
|
|
distinctly promised himself that he would go to Lowick to see
|
|
Mary and tell her that he was engaged to work under her father.
|
|
He did not like to disappoint himself there.
|
|
|
|
"I am very sorry," were all the words that he could muster.
|
|
But Mr. Garth was already relenting.
|
|
|
|
"We must make the best of it, Fred," he began, with a return to his
|
|
usual quiet tone. "Every man can learn to write. I taught myself.
|
|
Go at it with a will, and sit up at night if the day-time isn't enough.
|
|
We'll be patient, my boy. Callum shall go on with the books
|
|
for a bit, while you are learning. But now I must be off,"
|
|
said Caleb, rising. "You must let your father know our agreement.
|
|
You'll save me Callum's salary, you know, when you can write;
|
|
and I can afford to give you eighty pounds for the first year,
|
|
and more after."
|
|
|
|
When Fred made the necessary disclosure to his parents, the relative
|
|
effect on the two was a surprise which entered very deeply into
|
|
his memory. He went straight from Mr. Garth's office to the warehouse,
|
|
rightly feeling that the most respectful way in which he could behave to
|
|
his father was to make the painful communication as gravely and formally
|
|
as possible. Moreover, the decision would be more certainly understood
|
|
to be final, if the interview took place in his father's gravest
|
|
hours, which were always those spent in his private room at the warehouse.
|
|
|
|
Fred entered on the subject directly, and declared briefly what he
|
|
had done and was resolved to do, expressing at the end his regret
|
|
that he should be the cause of disappointment to his father,
|
|
and taking the blame on his own deficiencies. The regret was genuine,
|
|
and inspired Fred with strong, simple words.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Vincy listened in profound surprise without uttering even
|
|
an exclamation, a silence which in his impatient temperament was a sign
|
|
of unusual emotion. He had not been in good spirits about trade
|
|
that morning, and the slight bitterness in his lips grew intense
|
|
as he listened. When Fred had ended, there was a pause of nearly
|
|
a minute, during which Mr. Vincy replaced a book in his desk and turned
|
|
the key emphatically. Then he looked at his son steadily, and said--
|
|
|
|
"So you've made up your mind at last, sir?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, father."
|
|
|
|
"Very well; stick to it. I've no more to say. You've thrown away
|
|
your education, and gone down a step in life, when I had given you
|
|
the means of rising, that's all."
|
|
|
|
"I am very sorry that we differ, father. I think I can be quite
|
|
as much of a gentleman at the work I have undertaken, as if I had
|
|
been a curate. But I am grateful to you for wishing to do the best
|
|
for me."
|
|
|
|
"Very well; I have no more to say. I wash my hands of you.
|
|
I only hope, when you have a son of your own he will make a better
|
|
return for the pains you spend on him."
|
|
|
|
This was very cutting to Fred. His father was using that unfair
|
|
advantage possessed by us all when we are in a pathetic situation
|
|
and see our own past as if it were simply part of the pathos.
|
|
In reality, Mr. Vincy's wishes about his son had had a great deal
|
|
of pride, inconsiderateness, and egoistic folly in them. But still
|
|
the disappointed father held a strong lever; and Fred felt as if he
|
|
were being banished with a malediction.
|
|
|
|
"I hope you will not object to my remaining at home, sir?" he said,
|
|
after rising to go; "I shall have a sufficient salary to pay for
|
|
my board, as of course I should wish to do."
|
|
|
|
"Board be hanged!" said Mr. Vincy, recovering himself in his disgust
|
|
at the notion that Fred's keep would be missed at his table.
|
|
"Of course your mother will want you to stay. But I shall keep no
|
|
horse for you, you understand; and you will pay your own tailor.
|
|
You will do with a suit or two less, I fancy, when you have to pay
|
|
for 'em."
|
|
|
|
Fred lingered; there was still something to be said. At last it came.
|
|
|
|
"I hope you will shake hands with me, father, and forgive me
|
|
the vexation I have caused you."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Vincy from his chair threw a quick glance upward at his son,
|
|
who had advanced near to him, and then gave his hand, saying hurriedly,
|
|
"Yes, yes, let us say no more."
|
|
|
|
Fred went through much more narrative and explanation with his mother,
|
|
but she was inconsolable, having before her eyes what perhaps her husband
|
|
had never thought of, the certainty that Fred would marry Mary Garth,
|
|
that her life would henceforth be spoiled by a perpetual infusion
|
|
of Garths and their ways, and that her darling boy, with his beautiful
|
|
face and stylish air "beyond anybody else's son in Middlemarch,"
|
|
would be sure to get like that family in plainness of appearance
|
|
and carelessness about his clothes. To her it seemed that there
|
|
was a Garth conspiracy to get possession of the desirable Fred,
|
|
but she dared not enlarge on this opinion, because a slight hint
|
|
of it had made him "fly out" at her as he had never done before.
|
|
Her temper was too sweet for her to show any anger, but she felt
|
|
that her happiness had received a bruise, and for several days merely
|
|
to look at Fred made her cry a little as if he were the subject
|
|
of some baleful prophecy. Perhaps she was the slower to recover
|
|
her usual cheerfulness because Fred had warned her that she must
|
|
not reopen the sore question with his father, who had accepted
|
|
his decision and forgiven him. If her husband had been vehement
|
|
against Fred, she would have been urged into defence of her darling.
|
|
It was the end of the fourth day when Mr. Vincy said to her--
|
|
|
|
"Come, Lucy, my dear, don't be so down-hearted. You always have
|
|
spoiled the boy, and you must go on spoiling him."
|
|
|
|
"Nothing ever did cut me so before, Vincy," said the wife, her fair
|
|
throat and chin beginning to tremble again, "only his illness."
|
|
|
|
"Pooh, pooh, never mind! We must expect to have trouble with
|
|
our children. Don't make it worse by letting me see you out of spirits."
|
|
|
|
"Well, I won't," said Mrs. Vincy, roused by this appeal and
|
|
adjusting herself with a little shake as of a bird which lays
|
|
down its ruffled plumage.
|
|
|
|
"It won't do to begin making a fuss about one," said Mr. Vincy,
|
|
wishing to combine a little grumbling with domestic cheerfulness.
|
|
"There's Rosamond as well as Fred."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, poor thing. I'm sure I felt for her being disappointed
|
|
of her baby; but she got over it nicely."
|
|
|
|
"Baby, pooh! I can see Lydgate is making a mess of his practice,
|
|
and getting into debt too, by what I hear. I shall have Rosamond
|
|
coming to me with a pretty tale one of these days. But they'll
|
|
get no money from me, I know. Let HIS family help him.
|
|
I never did like that marriage. But it's no use talking. Ring the
|
|
bell for lemons, and don't look dull any more, Lucy. I'll drive you
|
|
and Louisa to Riverston to-morrow."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LVII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
They numbered scarce eight summers when a name
|
|
Rose on their souls and stirred such motions there
|
|
As thrill the buds and shape their hidden frame
|
|
At penetration of the quickening air:
|
|
His name who told of loyal Evan Dhu,
|
|
Of quaint Bradwardine, and Vich Ian Vor,
|
|
Making the little world their childhood knew
|
|
Large with a land of mountain lake and scaur,
|
|
And larger yet with wonder love belief
|
|
Toward Walter Scott who living far away
|
|
Sent them this wealth of joy and noble grief.
|
|
The book and they must part, but day by day,
|
|
In lines that thwart like portly spiders ran
|
|
They wrote the tale, from Tully Veolan.
|
|
|
|
|
|
The evening that Fred Vincy walked to Lowick parsonage (he
|
|
had begun to see that this was a world in which even a spirited
|
|
young man must sometimes walk for want of a horse to carry him)
|
|
he set out at five o'clock and called on Mrs. Garth by the way,
|
|
wishing to assure himself that she accepted their new relations willingly.
|
|
|
|
He found the family group, dogs and cats included, under the great
|
|
apple-tree in the orchard. It was a festival with Mrs. Garth,
|
|
for her eldest son, Christy, her peculiar joy and pride, had come
|
|
home for a short holiday--Christy, who held it the most desirable
|
|
thing in the world to be a tutor, to study all literatures and be a
|
|
regenerate Porson, and who was an incorporate criticism on poor Fred,
|
|
a sort of object-lesson given to him by the educational mother.
|
|
Christy himself, a square-browed, broad-shouldered masculine edition
|
|
of his mother not much higher than Fred's shoulder--which made it
|
|
the harder that he should be held superior--was always as simple
|
|
as possible, and thought no more of Fred's disinclination to scholarship
|
|
than of a giraffe's, wishing that he himself were more of the
|
|
same height. He was lying on the ground now by his mother's chair,
|
|
with his straw hat laid flat over his eyes, while Jim on the other
|
|
side was reading aloud from that beloved writer who has made
|
|
a chief part in the happiness of many young lives. The volume was
|
|
"Ivanhoe," and Jim was in the great archery scene at the tournament,
|
|
but suffered much interruption from Ben, who had fetched his own
|
|
old bow and arrows, and was making himself dreadfully disagreeable,
|
|
Letty thought, by begging all present to observe his random shots,
|
|
which no one wished to do except Brownie, the active-minded but
|
|
probably shallow mongrel, while the grizzled Newfoundland lying in
|
|
the sun looked on with the dull-eyed neutrality of extreme old age.
|
|
Letty herself, showing as to her mouth and pinafore some slight
|
|
signs that she had been assisting at the gathering of the cherries
|
|
which stood in a coral-heap on the tea-table, was now seated
|
|
on the grass, listening open-eyed to the reading.
|
|
|
|
But the centre of interest was changed for all by the arrival
|
|
of Fred Vincy. When, seating himself on a garden-stool, he said
|
|
that he was on his way to Lowick Parsonage, Ben, who had thrown
|
|
down his bow, and snatched up a reluctant half-grown kitten instead,
|
|
strode across Fred's outstretched leg, and said "Take me!"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, and me too," said Letty.
|
|
|
|
"You can't keep up with Fred and me," said Ben.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I can. Mother, please say that I am to go," urged Letty,
|
|
whose life was much checkered by resistance to her depreciation
|
|
as a girl.
|
|
|
|
"I shall stay with Christy," observed Jim; as much as to say
|
|
that he had the advantage of those simpletons; whereupon Letty
|
|
put her hand up to her head and looked with jealous indecision
|
|
from the one to the other.
|
|
|
|
"Let us all go and see Mary," said Christy, opening his arms.
|
|
|
|
"No, my dear child, we must not go in a swarm to the parsonage.
|
|
And that old Glasgow suit of yours would never do. Besides, your
|
|
father will come home. We must let Fred go alone. He can tell
|
|
Mary that you are here, and she will come back to-morrow."
|
|
|
|
Christy glanced at his own threadbare knees, and then at Fred's
|
|
beautiful white trousers. Certainly Fred's tailoring suggested
|
|
the advantages of an English university, and he had a graceful way
|
|
even of looking warm and of pushing his hair back with his handkerchief.
|
|
|
|
"Children, run away," said Mrs. Garth; "it is too warm to hang
|
|
about your friends. Take your brother and show him the rabbits."
|
|
|
|
The eldest understood, and led off the children immediately.
|
|
Fred felt that Mrs. Garth wished to give him an opportunity of saying
|
|
anything he had to say, but he could only begin by observing--
|
|
|
|
"How glad you must be to have Christy here!"
|
|
|
|
"Yes; he has come sooner than I expected. He got down from the coach
|
|
at nine o'clock, just after his father went out. I am longing for
|
|
Caleb to come and hear what wonderful progress Christy is making.
|
|
He has paid his expenses for the last year by giving lessons,
|
|
carrying on hard study at the same time. He hopes soon to get
|
|
a private tutorship and go abroad."
|
|
|
|
"He is a great fellow," said Fred, to whom these cheerful
|
|
truths had a medicinal taste, "and no trouble to anybody."
|
|
After a slight pause, he added, "But I fear you will think
|
|
that I am going to be a great deal of trouble to Mr. Garth."
|
|
|
|
"Caleb likes taking trouble: he is one of those men who always
|
|
do more than any one would have thought of asking them to do,"
|
|
answered Mrs. Garth. She was knitting, and could either look at
|
|
Fred or not, as she chose--always an advantage when one is bent
|
|
on loading speech with salutary meaning; and though Mrs. Garth
|
|
intended to be duly reserved, she did wish to say something
|
|
that Fred might be the better for.
|
|
|
|
"I know you think me very undeserving, Mrs. Garth, and with good reason,"
|
|
said Fred, his spirit rising a little at the perception of something
|
|
like a disposition to lecture him. "I happen to have behaved just
|
|
the worst to the people I can't help wishing for the most from.
|
|
But while two men like Mr. Garth and Mr. Farebrother have not given
|
|
me up, I don't see why I should give myself up." Fred thought it
|
|
might be well to suggest these masculine examples to Mrs. Garth.
|
|
|
|
"Assuredly," said she, with gathering emphasis. "A young man
|
|
for whom two such elders had devoted themselves would indeed be
|
|
culpable if he threw himself away and made their sacrifices vain."
|
|
|
|
Fred wondered a little at this strong language, but only said,
|
|
"I hope it will not be so with me, Mrs. Garth, since I have some
|
|
encouragement to believe that I may win Mary. Mr. Garth has told
|
|
you about that? You were not surprised, I dare say?" Fred ended,
|
|
innocently referring only to his own love as probably evident enough.
|
|
|
|
"Not surprised that Mary has given you encouragement?"
|
|
returned Mrs. Garth, who thought it would be well for Fred to be
|
|
more alive to the fact that Mary's friends could not possibly
|
|
have wished this beforehand, whatever the Vincys might suppose.
|
|
"Yes, I confess I was surprised."
|
|
|
|
"She never did give me any--not the least in the world, when I
|
|
talked to her myself," said Fred, eager to vindicate Mary.
|
|
"But when I asked Mr. Farebrother to speak for me, she allowed him
|
|
to tell me there was a hope."
|
|
|
|
The power of admonition which had begun to stir in Mrs. Garth had
|
|
not yet discharged itself. It was a little too provoking even for
|
|
HER self-control that this blooming youngster should flourish
|
|
on the disappointments of sadder and wiser people--making a meal
|
|
of a nightingale and never knowing it--and that all the while his
|
|
family should suppose that hers was in eager need of this sprig;
|
|
and her vexation had fermented the more actively because of its total
|
|
repression towards her husband. Exemplary wives will sometimes
|
|
find scapegoats in this way. She now said with energetic decision,
|
|
"You made a great mistake, Fred, in asking Mr. Farebrother to speak
|
|
for you."
|
|
|
|
"Did I?" said Fred, reddening instantaneously. He was alarmed,
|
|
but at a loss to know what Mrs. Garth meant, and added,
|
|
in an apologetic tone, "Mr. Farebrother has always been such
|
|
a friend of ours; and Mary, I knew, would listen to him gravely;
|
|
and he took it on himself quite readily."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, young people are usually blind to everything but their own wishes,
|
|
and seldom imagine how much those wishes cost others," said Mrs. Garth
|
|
She did not mean to go beyond this salutary general doctrine,
|
|
and threw her indignation into a needless unwinding of her worsted,
|
|
knitting her brow at it with a grand air.
|
|
|
|
"I cannot conceive how it could be any pain to Mr. Farebrother,"
|
|
said Fred, who nevertheless felt that surprising conceptions were
|
|
beginning to form themselves.
|
|
|
|
"Precisely; you cannot conceive," said Mrs. Garth, cutting her words
|
|
as neatly as possible.
|
|
|
|
For a moment Fred looked at the horizon with a dismayed anxiety,
|
|
and then turning with a quick movement said almost sharply--
|
|
|
|
"Do you mean to say, Mrs. Garth, that Mr. Farebrother is in love
|
|
with Mary?"
|
|
|
|
"And if it were so, Fred, I think you are the last person who
|
|
ought to be surprised," returned Mrs. Garth, laying her knitting
|
|
down beside her and folding her arms. It was an unwonted sign
|
|
of emotion in her that she should put her work out of her hands.
|
|
In fact her feelings were divided between the satisfaction of giving
|
|
Fred his discipline and the sense of having gone a little too far.
|
|
Fred took his hat and stick and rose quickly.
|
|
|
|
"Then you think I am standing in his way, and in Mary's too?"
|
|
he said, in a tone which seemed to demand an answer.
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Garth could not speak immediately. She had brought herself into
|
|
the unpleasant position of being called on to say what she really felt,
|
|
yet what she knew there were strong reasons for concealing.
|
|
And to her the consciousness of having exceeded in words was
|
|
peculiarly mortifying. Besides, Fred had given out unexpected
|
|
electricity, and he now added, "Mr. Garth seemed pleased that
|
|
Mary should be attached to me. He could not have known anything of this."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Garth felt a severe twinge at this mention of her husband, the fear
|
|
that Caleb might think her in the wrong not being easily endurable.
|
|
She answered, wanting to check unintended consequences--
|
|
|
|
"I spoke from inference only. I am not aware that Mary knows
|
|
anything of the matter."
|
|
|
|
But she hesitated to beg that he would keep entire silence on a
|
|
subject which she had herself unnecessarily mentioned, not being
|
|
used to stoop in that way; and while she was hesitating there
|
|
was already a rush of unintended consequences under the apple-tree
|
|
where the tea-things stood. Ben, bouncing across the grass with
|
|
Brownie at his heels, and seeing the kitten dragging the knitting
|
|
by a lengthening line of wool, shouted and clapped his hands;
|
|
Brownie barked, the kitten, desperate, jumped on the tea-table and
|
|
upset the milk, then jumped down again and swept half the cherries
|
|
with it; and Ben, snatching up the half-knitted sock-top, fitted
|
|
it over the kitten's head as a new source of madness, while Letty
|
|
arriving cried out to her mother against this cruelty--it was a
|
|
history as full of sensation as "This is the house that Jack built."
|
|
Mrs. Garth was obliged to interfere, the other young ones came up
|
|
and the tete-a-tete with Fred was ended. He got away as soon
|
|
as he could, and Mrs. Garth could only imply some retractation
|
|
of her severity by saying "God bless you" when she shook hands with him.
|
|
|
|
She was unpleasantly conscious that she had been on the verge
|
|
of speaking as "one of the foolish women speaketh"--telling first
|
|
and entreating silence after. But she had not entreated silence,
|
|
and to prevent Caleb's blame she determined to blame herself and
|
|
confess all to him that very night. It was curious what an awful
|
|
tribunal the mild Caleb's was to her, whenever he set it up.
|
|
But she meant to point out to him that the revelation might do Fred
|
|
Vincy a great deal of good.
|
|
|
|
No doubt it was having a strong effect on him as he walked to Lowick.
|
|
Fred's light hopeful nature had perhaps never had so much of a
|
|
bruise as from this suggestion that if he had been out of the way
|
|
Mary might have made a thoroughly good match. Also he was piqued
|
|
that he had been what he called such a stupid lout as to ask that
|
|
intervention from Mr. Farebrother. But it was not in a lover's nature--
|
|
it was not in Fred's, that the new anxiety raised about Mary's
|
|
feeling should not surmount every other. Notwithstanding his
|
|
trust in Mr. Farebrother's generosity, notwithstanding what Mary
|
|
had said to him, Fred could not help feeling that he had a rival:
|
|
it was a new consciousness, and he objected to it extremely,
|
|
not being in the least ready to give up Mary for her good, being ready
|
|
rather to fight for her with any man whatsoever. But the fighting
|
|
with Mr. Farebrother must be of a metaphorical kind, which was much
|
|
more difficult to Fred than the muscular. Certainly this experience
|
|
was a discipline for Fred hardly less sharp than his disappointment
|
|
about his uncle's will. The iron had not entered into his soul,
|
|
but he had begun to imagine what the sharp edge would be.
|
|
It did not once occur to Fred that Mrs. Garth might be mistaken
|
|
about Mr. Farebrother, but he suspected that she might be wrong
|
|
about Mary. Mary had been staying at the parsonage lately, and her
|
|
mother might know very little of what had been passing in her mind.
|
|
|
|
He did not feel easier when he found her looking cheerful with the
|
|
three ladies in the drawing-room. They were in animated discussion
|
|
on some subject which was dropped when he entered, and Mary
|
|
was copying the labels from a heap of shallow cabinet drawers,
|
|
in a minute handwriting which she was skilled in. Mr. Farebrother
|
|
was somewhere in the village, and the three ladies knew nothing
|
|
of Fred's peculiar relation to Mary: it was impossible for either
|
|
of them to propose that they should walk round the garden,
|
|
and Fred predicted to himself that he should have to go away without
|
|
saying a word to her in private. He told her first of Christy's
|
|
arrival and then of his own engagement with her father; and he
|
|
was comforted by seeing that this latter news touched her keenly.
|
|
She said hurriedly, "I am so glad," and then bent over her writing
|
|
to hinder any one from noticing her face. But here was a subject
|
|
which Mrs. Farebrother could not let pass.
|
|
|
|
"You don't mean, my dear Miss Garth, that you are glad to hear
|
|
of a young man giving up the Church for which he was educated:
|
|
you only mean that things being so, you are glad that he should be
|
|
under an excellent man like your father."
|
|
|
|
"No, really, Mrs. Farebrother, I am glad of both, I fear,"
|
|
said Mary, cleverly getting rid of one rebellious tear.
|
|
"I have a dreadfully secular mind. I never liked any clergyman
|
|
except the Vicar of Wakefield and Mr. Farebrother."
|
|
|
|
"Now why, my dear?" said Mrs. Farebrother, pausing on her large
|
|
wooden knitting-needles and looking at Mary. "You have always
|
|
a good reason for your opinions, but this astonishes me.
|
|
Of course I put out of the question those who preach new doctrine.
|
|
But why should you dislike clergymen?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh dear," said Mary, her face breaking into merriment as she
|
|
seemed to consider a moment, "I don't like their neckcloths."
|
|
|
|
"Why, you don't like Camden's, then," said Miss Winifred,
|
|
in some anxiety.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I do," said Mary. "I don't like the other clergymen's neckcloths,
|
|
because it is they who wear them."
|
|
|
|
"How very puzzling!" said Miss Noble, feeling that her own intellect
|
|
was probably deficient.
|
|
|
|
"My dear, you are joking. You would have better reasons
|
|
than these for slighting so respectable a class of men,"
|
|
said Mrs. Farebrother, majestically.
|
|
|
|
"Miss Garth has such severe notions of what people should be that it
|
|
is difficult to satisfy her," said Fred.
|
|
|
|
"Well, I am glad at least that she makes an exception in favor
|
|
of my son," said the old lady.
|
|
|
|
Mary was wondering at Fred's piqued tone, when Mr. Farebrother came
|
|
in and had to hear the news about the engagement under Mr. Garth.
|
|
At the end he said with quiet satisfaction, "THAT is right;"
|
|
and then bent to look at Mary's labels and praise her handwriting.
|
|
Fred felt horribly jealous--was glad, of course, that Mr. Farebrother
|
|
was so estimable, but wished that he had been ugly and fat as men
|
|
at forty sometimes are. It was clear what the end would be,
|
|
since Mary openly placed Farebrother above everybody, and these
|
|
women were all evidently encouraging the affair. He, was feeling
|
|
sure that he should have no chance of speaking to Mary,
|
|
when Mr. Farebrother said--
|
|
|
|
"Fred, help me to carry these drawers back into my study--
|
|
you have never seen my fine new study. Pray come too, Miss Garth.
|
|
I want you to see a stupendous spider I found this morning."
|
|
|
|
Mary at once saw the Vicar's intention. He had never since the
|
|
memorable evening deviated from his old pastoral kindness towards her,
|
|
and her momentary wonder and doubt had quite gone to sleep.
|
|
Mary was accustomed to think rather rigorously of what was probable,
|
|
and if a belief flattered her vanity she felt warned to dismiss it
|
|
as ridiculous, having early had much exercise in such dismissals.
|
|
It was as she had foreseen: when Fred had been asked to admire the
|
|
fittings of the study, and she had been asked to admire the spider,
|
|
Mr. Farebrother said--
|
|
|
|
"Wait here a minute or two. I am going to look out an engraving
|
|
which Fred is tall enough to hang for me. I shall be back in a
|
|
few minutes." And then he went out. Nevertheless, the first
|
|
word Fred said to Mary was--
|
|
|
|
"It is of no use, whatever I do, Mary. You are sure to marry
|
|
Farebrother at last." There was some rage in his tone.
|
|
|
|
"What do you mean, Fred?" Mary exclaimed indignantly, blushing deeply,
|
|
and surprised out of all her readiness in reply.
|
|
|
|
"It is impossible that you should not see it all clearly enough--
|
|
you who see everything."
|
|
|
|
"I only see that you are behaving very ill, Fred, in speaking so
|
|
of Mr. Farebrother after he has pleaded your cause in every way.
|
|
How can you have taken up such an idea?"
|
|
|
|
Fred was rather deep, in spite of his irritation. If Mary
|
|
had really been unsuspicious, there was no good in telling
|
|
her what Mrs. Garth-had said.
|
|
|
|
"It follows as a matter of course," he replied. "When you are
|
|
continually seeing a man who beats me in everything, and whom
|
|
you set up above everybody, I can have no fair chance."
|
|
|
|
"You are very ungrateful, Fred," said Mary. "I wish I had never
|
|
told Mr. Farebrother that I cared for you in the least."
|
|
|
|
"No, I am not ungrateful; I should be the happiest fellow in the
|
|
world if it were not for this. I told your father everything,
|
|
and he was very kind; he treated me as if I were his son.
|
|
I could go at the work with a will, writing and everything, if it
|
|
were not for this."
|
|
|
|
"For this? for what?" said Mary, imagining now that something
|
|
specific must have been said or done.
|
|
|
|
"This dreadful certainty that I shall be bowled out by Farebrother."
|
|
Mary was appeased by her inclination to laugh.
|
|
|
|
"Fred," she said, peeping round to catch his eyes, which were
|
|
sulkily turned away from her, "you are too delightfully ridiculous.
|
|
If you were not such a charming simpleton, what a temptation
|
|
this would be to play the wicked coquette, and let you suppose
|
|
that somebody besides you has made love to me."
|
|
|
|
"Do you really like me best, Mary?" said Fred, turning eyes full
|
|
of affection on her, and trying to take her hand.
|
|
|
|
"I don't like you at all at this moment," said Mary, retreating,
|
|
and putting her hands behind her. "I only said that no mortal
|
|
ever made love to me besides you. And that is no argument
|
|
that a very wise man ever will," she ended, merrily.
|
|
|
|
"I wish you would tell me that you could not possibly ever think
|
|
of him," said Fred.
|
|
|
|
"Never dare to mention this any more to me, Fred," said Mary,
|
|
getting serious again. "I don't know whether it is more stupid
|
|
or ungenerous in you not to see that Mr: Farebrother has left us
|
|
together on purpose that we might speak freely. I am disappointed
|
|
that you should be so blind to his delicate feeling."
|
|
|
|
There was no time to say any more before Mr. Farebrother came back
|
|
with the engraving; and Fred had to return to the drawing-room still
|
|
with a jealous dread in his heart, but yet with comforting arguments
|
|
from Mary's words and manner. The result of the conversation was on
|
|
the whole more painful to Mary: inevitably her attention had taken
|
|
a new attitude, and she saw the possibility of new interpretations.
|
|
She was in a position in which she seemed to herself to be slighting
|
|
Mr. Farebrother, and this, in relation to a man who is much honored,
|
|
is always dangerous to the firmness of a grateful woman.
|
|
To have a reason for going home the next day was a relief, for Mary
|
|
earnestly desired to be always clear that she loved Fred best.
|
|
When a tender affection has been storing itself in us through many
|
|
of our years, the idea that we could accept any exchange for it
|
|
seems to be a cheapening of our lives. And we can set a watch over
|
|
our affections and our constancy as we can over other treasures.
|
|
|
|
"Fred has lost all his other expectations; he must keep this,"
|
|
Mary said to herself, with a smile curling her lips. It was
|
|
impossible to help fleeting visions of another kind--new dignities
|
|
and an acknowledged value of which she had often felt the absence.
|
|
But these things with Fred outside them, Fred forsaken and looking
|
|
sad for the want of her, could never tempt her deliberate thought.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LVIII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"For there can live no hatred in thine eye,
|
|
Therefore in that I cannot know thy change:
|
|
In many's looks the false heart's history
|
|
Is writ in moods and frowns and wrinkles strange:
|
|
But Heaven in thy creation did decree
|
|
That in thy face sweet love should ever dwell:
|
|
Whate'er thy thoughts or thy heart's workings be
|
|
Thy looks should nothing thence but sweetness tell."
|
|
--SHAKESPEARE: Sonnets.
|
|
|
|
|
|
At the time when Mr. Vincy uttered that presentiment about Rosamond,
|
|
she herself had never had the idea that she should be driven to make
|
|
the sort of appeal which he foresaw. She had not yet had any
|
|
anxiety about ways and means, although her domestic life had been
|
|
expensive as well as eventful. Her baby had been born prematurely,
|
|
and all the embroidered robes and caps had to be laid by in darkness.
|
|
This misfortune was attributed entirely to her having persisted
|
|
in going out on horseback one day when her husband had desired her
|
|
not to do so; but it must not be supposed that she had shown temper
|
|
on the occasion, or rudely told him that she would do as she liked.
|
|
|
|
What led her particularly to desire horse-exercise was a visit from
|
|
Captain Lydgate, the baronet's third son, who, I am sorry to say,
|
|
was detested by our Tertius of that name as a vapid fop "parting
|
|
his hair from brow to nape in a despicable fashion" (not followed
|
|
by Tertius himself), and showing an ignorant security that he knew
|
|
the proper thing to say on every topic. Lydgate inwardly cursed his
|
|
own folly that he had drawn down this visit by consenting to go to his
|
|
uncle's on the wedding-tour, and he made himself rather disagreeable
|
|
to Rosamond by saying so in private. For to Rosamond this visit
|
|
was a source of unprecedented but gracefully concealed exultation.
|
|
She was so intensely conscious of having a cousin who was a baronet's
|
|
son staying in the house, that she imagined the knowledge of what
|
|
was implied by his presence to be diffused through all other minds;
|
|
and when she introduced Captain Lydgate to her guests, she had
|
|
a placid sense that his rank penetrated them as if it had been
|
|
an odor. The satisfaction was enough for the time to melt away
|
|
some disappointment in the conditions of marriage with a medical man
|
|
even of good birth: it seemed now that her marriage was visibly
|
|
as well as ideally floating her above the Middlemarch level, and the
|
|
future looked bright with letters and visits to and from Quallingham,
|
|
and vague advancement in consequence for Tertius. Especially as,
|
|
probably at the Captain's suggestion, his married sister, Mrs. Mengan,
|
|
had come with her maid, and stayed two nights on her way from town.
|
|
Hence it was clearly worth while for Rosamond to take pains with
|
|
her music and the careful selection of her lace.
|
|
|
|
As to Captain Lydgate himself, his low brow, his aquiline nose
|
|
bent on one side, and his rather heavy utterance, might have been
|
|
disadvantageous in any young gentleman who had not a military bearing
|
|
and mustache to give him what is doted on by some flower-like blond
|
|
heads as "style." He had, moreover, that sort of high-breeding
|
|
which consists in being free from the petty solicitudes of
|
|
middle-class gentility, and he was a great critic of feminine charms.
|
|
Rosamond delighted in his admiration now even more than she had
|
|
done at Quallingham, and he found it easy to spend several hours
|
|
of the day in flirting with her. The visit altogether was one
|
|
of the pleasantest larks he had ever had, not the less so perhaps
|
|
because he suspected that his queer cousin Tertius wished him away:
|
|
though Lydgate, who would rather (hyperbolically speaking) have died
|
|
than have failed in polite hospitality, suppressed his dislike,
|
|
and only pretended generally not to hear what the gallant officer said,
|
|
consigning the task of answering him to Rosamond. For he was not
|
|
at all a jealous husband, and preferred leaving a feather-headed
|
|
young gentleman alone with his wife to bearing him company.
|
|
|
|
"I wish you would talk more to the Captain at dinner, Tertius,"
|
|
said Rosamond, one evening when the important guest was gone
|
|
to Loamford to see some brother officers stationed there.
|
|
"You really look so absent sometimes--you seem to be seeing
|
|
through his head into something behind it, instead of looking at him."
|
|
|
|
"My dear Rosy, you don't expect me to talk much to such a conceited
|
|
ass as that, I hope," said Lydgate, brusquely. "If he got his
|
|
head broken, I might look at it with interest, not before."
|
|
|
|
"I cannot conceive why you should speak of your cousin so contemptuously,"
|
|
said Rosamond, her fingers moving at her work while she spoke
|
|
with a mild gravity which had a touch of disdain in it.
|
|
|
|
"Ask Ladislaw if he doesn't think your Captain the greatest bore he
|
|
ever met with. Ladislaw has almost forsaken the house since he came."
|
|
|
|
Rosamond thought she knew perfectly well why Mr. Ladislaw disliked
|
|
the Captain: he was jealous, and she liked his being jealous.
|
|
|
|
"It is impossible to say what will suit eccentric persons,"
|
|
she answered, "but in my opinion Captain Lydgate is a thorough
|
|
gentleman, and I think you ought not, out of respect to Sir Godwin,
|
|
to treat him with neglect."
|
|
|
|
"No, dear; but we have had dinners for him. And he comes in and
|
|
goes out as he likes. He doesn't want me"
|
|
|
|
"Still, when he is in the room, you might show him more attention.
|
|
He may not be a phoenix of cleverness in your sense; his profession
|
|
is different; but it would be all the better for you to talk a little
|
|
on his subjects. _I_ think his conversation is quite agreeable.
|
|
And he is anything but an unprincipled man."
|
|
|
|
"The fact is, you would wish me to be a little more like him,
|
|
Rosy," said Lydgate, in a sort of resigned murmur, with a
|
|
smile which was not exactly tender, and certainly not merry.
|
|
Rosamond was silent and did not smile again; but the lovely
|
|
curves of her face looked good-tempered enough without smiling.
|
|
|
|
Those words of Lydgate's were like a sad milestone marking how far
|
|
he had travelled from his old dreamland, in which Rosamond Vincy
|
|
appeared to be that perfect piece of womanhood who would reverence
|
|
her husband's mind after the fashion of an accomplished mermaid,
|
|
using her comb and looking-glass and singing her song for the
|
|
relaxation of his adored wisdom alone. He had begun to distinguish
|
|
between that imagined adoration and the attraction towards a man's
|
|
talent because it gives him prestige, and is like an order in his
|
|
button-hole or an Honorable before his name.
|
|
|
|
It might have been supposed that Rosamond had travelled too,
|
|
since she had found the pointless conversation of Mr. Ned Plymdale
|
|
perfectly wearisome; but to most mortals there is a stupidity
|
|
which is unendurable and a stupidity which is altogether acceptable--
|
|
else, indeed, what would become of social bonds? Captain Lydgate's
|
|
stupidity was delicately scented, carried itself with "style,"
|
|
talked with a good accent, and was closely related to Sir Godwin.
|
|
Rosamond found it quite agreeable and caught many of its phrases.
|
|
|
|
Therefore since Rosamond, as we know, was fond of horseback,
|
|
there were plenty of reasons why she should be tempted to resume
|
|
her riding when Captain Lydgate, who had ordered his man with
|
|
two horses to follow him and put up at the "Green Dragon,"
|
|
begged her to go out on the gray which he warranted to be gentle
|
|
and trained to carry a lady--indeed, he had bought it for his sister,
|
|
and was taking it to Quallingham. Rosamond went out the first time
|
|
without telling her husband, and came back before his return;
|
|
but the ride had been so thorough a success, and she declared
|
|
herself so much the better in consequence, that he was informed
|
|
of it with full reliance on his consent that she should go riding again.
|
|
|
|
On the contrary Lydgate was more than hurt--he was utterly
|
|
confounded that she had risked herself on a strange horse without
|
|
referring the matter to his wish. After the first almost
|
|
thundering exclamations of astonishment, which sufficiently
|
|
warned Rosamond of what was coming, he was silent for some moments.
|
|
|
|
"However, you have come back safely," he said, at last, in a
|
|
decisive tone. "You will not go again, Rosy; that is understood.
|
|
If it were the quietest, most familiar horse in the world,
|
|
there would always be the chance of accident. And you know very
|
|
well that I wished you to give up riding the roan on that account."
|
|
|
|
"But there is the chance of accident indoors, Tertius."
|
|
|
|
"My darling, don't talk nonsense," said Lydgate, in an imploring tone;
|
|
"surely I am the person to judge for you. I think it is enough
|
|
that I say you are not to go again."
|
|
|
|
Rosamond was arranging her hair before dinner, and the reflection
|
|
of her head in the glass showed no change in its loveliness except
|
|
a little turning aside of the long neck. Lydgate had been moving
|
|
about with his hands in his pockets, and now paused near her,
|
|
as if he awaited some assurance.
|
|
|
|
"I wish you would fasten up my plaits, dear," said Rosamond, letting her
|
|
arms fall with a little sigh, so as to make a husband ashamed of standing
|
|
there like a brute. Lydgate had often fastened the plaits before,
|
|
being among the deftest of men with his large finely formed fingers.
|
|
He swept up the soft festoons of plaits and fastened in the tall
|
|
comb (to such uses do men come!); and what could he do then but kiss
|
|
the exquisite nape which was shown in all its delicate curves?
|
|
But when we do what we have done before, it is often with a difference.
|
|
Lydgate was still angry, and had not forgotten his point.
|
|
|
|
"I shall tell the Captain that he ought to have known better than
|
|
offer you his horse," he said, as he moved away.
|
|
|
|
"I beg you will not do anything of the kind, Tertius," said Rosamond,
|
|
looking at him with something more marked than usual in her speech.
|
|
"It will be treating me as if I were a child. Promise that you will
|
|
leave the subject to me."
|
|
|
|
There did seem to be some truth in her objection. Lydgate said,
|
|
"Very well," with a surly obedience, and thus the discussion ended
|
|
with his promising Rosamond, and not with her promising him.
|
|
|
|
In fact, she had been determined not to promise. Rosamond had
|
|
that victorious obstinacy which never wastes its energy in
|
|
impetuous resistance. What she liked to do was to her the right thing,
|
|
and all her cleverness was directed to getting the means of doing it.
|
|
She meant to go out riding again on the gray, and she did go on
|
|
the next opportunity of her husband's absence, not intending that
|
|
he should know until it was late enough not to signify to her.
|
|
The temptation was certainly great: she was very fond of the exercise,
|
|
and the gratification of riding on a fine horse, with Captain Lydgate,
|
|
Sir Godwin's son, on another fine horse by her side, and of being met
|
|
in this position by any one but her husband, was something as good as
|
|
her dreams before marriage: moreover she was riveting the connection
|
|
with the family at Quallingham, which must be a wise thing to do.
|
|
|
|
But the gentle gray, unprepared for the crash of a tree that was
|
|
being felled on the edge of Halsell wood, took fright, and caused
|
|
a worse fright to Rosamond, leading finally to the loss of her baby.
|
|
Lydgate could not show his anger towards her, but he was rather
|
|
bearish to the Captain, whose visit naturally soon came to an end.
|
|
|
|
In all future conversations on the subject, Rosamond was mildly
|
|
certain that the ride had made no difference, and that if she had
|
|
stayed at home the same symptoms would have come on and would have
|
|
ended in the same way, because she had felt something like them before.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate could only say, "Poor, poor darling!"--but he secretly wondered
|
|
over the terrible tenacity of this mild creature. There was gathering
|
|
within him an amazed sense of his powerlessness over Rosamond.
|
|
His superior knowledge and mental force, instead of being, as he
|
|
had imagined, a shrine to consult on all occasions, was simply set
|
|
aside on every practical question. He had regarded Rosamond's
|
|
cleverness as precisely of the receptive kind which became a woman.
|
|
He was now beginning to find out what that cleverness was--what was
|
|
the shape into which it had run as into a close network aloof
|
|
and independent. No one quicker than Rosamond to see causes and
|
|
effects which lay within the track of her own tastes and interests:
|
|
she had seen clearly Lydgate's preeminence in Middlemarch society,
|
|
and could go on imaginatively tracing still more agreeable social
|
|
effects when his talent should have advanced him; but for her,
|
|
his professional and scientific ambition had no other relation
|
|
to these desirable effects than if they had been the fortunate
|
|
discovery of an ill-smelling oil. And that oil apart,
|
|
with which she had nothing to do, of course she believed in her own
|
|
opinion more than she did in his. Lydgate was astounded to find
|
|
in numberless trifling matters, as well as in this last serious
|
|
case of the riding, that affection did not make her compliant.
|
|
He had no doubt that the affection was there, and had no presentiment
|
|
that he had done anything to repel it. For his own part he said
|
|
to himself that he loved her as tenderly as ever, and could make up
|
|
his mind-to her negations; but--well! Lydgate was much worried,
|
|
and conscious of new elements in his life as noxious to him as an
|
|
inlet of mud to a creature that has been used to breathe and bathe
|
|
and dart after its illuminated prey in the clearest of waters.
|
|
|
|
Rosamond was soon looking lovelier than ever at her worktable,
|
|
enjoying drives in her father's phaeton and thinking it likely
|
|
that she might be invited to Quallingham. She knew that she
|
|
was a much more exquisite ornament to the drawing-room there than
|
|
any daughter of the family, and in reflecting that the gentlemen
|
|
were aware of that, did not perhaps sufficiently consider whether
|
|
the ladies would be eager to see themselves surpassed.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate, relieved from anxiety about her, relapsed into what she
|
|
inwardly called his moodiness--a name which to her covered
|
|
his thoughtful preoccupation with other subjects than herself,
|
|
as well as that uneasy look of the brow and distaste for all ordinary
|
|
things as if they were mixed with bitter herbs, which really
|
|
made a sort of weather-glass to his vexation and foreboding.
|
|
These latter states of mind had one cause amongst others, which he
|
|
had generously but mistakenly avoided mentioning to Rosamond,
|
|
lest it should affect her health and spirits. Between him and her
|
|
indeed there was that total missing of each other's mental track,
|
|
which is too evidently possible even between persons who are
|
|
continually thinking of each other. To Lydgate it seemed that he
|
|
had been spending month after month in sacrificing more than half
|
|
of his best intent and best power to his tenderness for Rosamond;
|
|
bearing her little claims and interruptions without impatience, and,
|
|
above all, bearing without betrayal of bitterness to look through
|
|
less and less of interfering illusion at the blank unreflecting
|
|
surface her mind presented to his ardor for the more impersonal
|
|
ends of his profession and his scientific study, an ardor which he
|
|
had fancied that the ideal wife must somehow worship as sublime,
|
|
though not in the least knowing why. But his endurance was mingled
|
|
with a self-discontent which, if we know how to be candid, we shall
|
|
confess to make more than half our bitterness under grievances,
|
|
wife or husband included. It always remains true that if we had
|
|
been greater, circumstance would have been less strong against us.
|
|
Lydgate was aware that his concessions to Rosamond were often
|
|
little more than the lapse of slackening resolution, the creeping
|
|
paralysis apt to seize an enthusiasm which is out of adjustment
|
|
to a constant portion of our lives. And on Lydgate's enthusiasm
|
|
there was constantly pressing not a simple weight of sorrow,
|
|
but the biting presence of a petty degrading care, such as casts
|
|
the blight of irony over all higher effort.
|
|
|
|
This was the care which he had hitherto abstained from mentioning
|
|
to Rosamond; and he believed, with some wonder, that it had never entered
|
|
her mind, though certainly no difficulty could be less mysterious.
|
|
It was an inference with a conspicuous handle to it, and had been
|
|
easily drawn by indifferent observers, that Lydgate was in debt;
|
|
and he could not succeed in keeping out of his mind for long together
|
|
that he was every day getting deeper into that swamp, which tempts
|
|
men towards it with such a pretty covering of flowers and verdure.
|
|
It is wonderful how soon a man gets up to his chin there--in a condition
|
|
in which, spite of himself, he is forced to think chiefly of release,
|
|
though he had a scheme of the universe in his soul.
|
|
|
|
Eighteen months ago Lydgate was poor, but had never known the eager
|
|
want of small sums, and felt rather a burning contempt for any one
|
|
who descended a step in order to gain them. He was now experiencing
|
|
something worse than a simple deficit: he was assailed by the
|
|
vulgar hateful trials of a man who has bought and used a great
|
|
many things which might have been done without, and which he
|
|
is unable to pay for, though the demand for payment has become pressing.
|
|
|
|
How this came about may be easily seen without much arithmetic or
|
|
knowledge of prices. When a man in setting up a house and preparing
|
|
for marriage finds that his furniture and other initial expenses
|
|
come to between four and five hundred pounds more than he has
|
|
capital to pay for; when at the end of a year it appears that his
|
|
household expenses, horses and et caeteras, amount to nearly a thousand,
|
|
while the proceeds of the practice reckoned from the old books
|
|
to be worth eight hundred per annum have sunk like a summer pond
|
|
and make hardly five hundred, chiefly in unpaid entries, the plain
|
|
inference is that, whether he minds it or not, he is in debt.
|
|
Those were less expensive times than our own, and provincial life
|
|
was comparatively modest; but the ease with which a medical man
|
|
who had lately bought a practice, who thought that he was obliged
|
|
to keep two horses, whose table was supplied without stint, and who
|
|
paid an insurance on his life and a high rent for house and garden,
|
|
might find his expenses doubling his receipts, can be conceived by
|
|
any one who does not think these details beneath his consideration.
|
|
Rosamond, accustomed from her to an extravagant household,
|
|
thought that good housekeeping consisted simply in ordering the
|
|
best of everything--nothing else "answered;" and Lydgate supposed
|
|
that "if things were done at all, they must be done properly"--
|
|
he did not see how they were to live otherwise. If each head
|
|
of household expenditure had been mentioned to him beforehand,
|
|
he would have probably observed that "it could hardly come to much,"
|
|
and if any one had suggested a saving on a particular article--
|
|
for example, the substitution of cheap fish for dear--
|
|
it would have appeared to him simply a penny-wise, mean notion.
|
|
Rosamond, even without such an occasion as Captain Lydgate's visit,
|
|
was fond of giving invitations, and Lydgate, though he often thought
|
|
the guests tiresome, did not interfere. This sociability seemed
|
|
a necessary part of professional prudence, and the entertainment
|
|
must be suitable. It is true Lydgate was constantly visiting
|
|
the homes of the poor and adjusting his prescriptions of diet
|
|
to their small means; but, dear me! has it not by this time ceased
|
|
to be remarkable--is it not rather that we expect in men, that they
|
|
should have numerous strands of experience lying side by side
|
|
and never compare them with each other? Expenditure--like ugliness
|
|
and errors--becomes a totally new thing when we attach our own
|
|
personality to it, and measure it by that wide difference which is
|
|
manifest (in our own sensations) between ourselves and others.
|
|
Lydgate believed himself to be careless about his dress, and he
|
|
despised a man who calculated the effects of his costume; it seemed
|
|
to him only a matter of course that he had abundance of fresh garments--
|
|
such things were naturally ordered in sheaves. It must be remembered
|
|
that he had never hitherto felt the check of importunate debt,
|
|
and he walked by habit, not by self-criticism. But the check had come.
|
|
|
|
Its novelty made it the more irritating. He was amazed,
|
|
disgusted that conditions so foreign to all his purposes, so hatefully
|
|
disconnected with the objects he cared to occupy himself with,
|
|
should have lain in ambush and clutched him when he was unaware.
|
|
And there was not only the actual debt; there was the certainty
|
|
that in his present position he must go on deepening it.
|
|
Two furnishing tradesmen at Brassing, whose bills had been incurred
|
|
before his marriage, and whom uncalculated current expenses had
|
|
ever since prevented him from paying, had repeatedly sent him
|
|
unpleasant letters which had forced themselves on his attention.
|
|
This could hardly have been more galling to any disposition than
|
|
to Lydgate's, with his intense pride--his dislike of asking a favor
|
|
or being under an obligation to any one. He had scorned even to form
|
|
conjectures about Mr. Vincy's intentions on money matters, and nothing
|
|
but extremity could have induced him to apply to his father-in-law,
|
|
even if he had not been made aware in various indirect ways since
|
|
his marriage that Mr. Vincy's own affairs were not flourishing,
|
|
and that the expectation of help from him would be resented.
|
|
Some men easily trust in the readiness of friends; it had never in
|
|
the former part of his life occurred to Lydgate that he should need
|
|
to do so: he had never thought what borrowing would be to him;
|
|
but now that the idea had entered his mind, he felt that he would
|
|
rather incur any other hardship. In the mean time he had no money
|
|
or prospects of money; and his practice was not getting more lucrative.
|
|
|
|
No wonder that Lydgate had been unable to suppress all signs
|
|
of inward trouble during the last few months, and now that
|
|
Rosamond was regaining brilliant health, he meditated taking her
|
|
entirely into confidence on his difficulties. New conversance
|
|
with tradesmen's bills had forced his reasoning into a new
|
|
channel of comparison: he had begun to consider from a new point
|
|
of view what was necessary and unnecessary in goods ordered,
|
|
and to see that there must be some change of habits. How could
|
|
such a change be made without Rosamond's concurrence? The immediate
|
|
occasion of opening the disagreeable fact to her was forced upon him.
|
|
|
|
Having no money, and having privately sought advice as to what security
|
|
could possibly be given by a man in his position, Lydgate had offered
|
|
the one good security in his power to the less peremptory creditor,
|
|
who was a silversmith and jeweller, and who consented to take on himself
|
|
the upholsterer's credit also, accepting interest for a given term.
|
|
The security necessary was a bill of sale on the furniture of his house,
|
|
which might make a creditor easy for a reasonable time about a debt
|
|
amounting to less than four hundred pounds; and the silversmith,
|
|
Mr. Dover, was willing to reduce it by taking back a portion
|
|
of the plate and any other article which was as good as new.
|
|
"Any other article" was a phrase delicately implying jewellery,
|
|
and more particularly some purple amethysts costing thirty pounds,
|
|
which Lydgate had bought as a bridal present.
|
|
|
|
Opinions may be divided as to his wisdom in making this present:
|
|
some may think that it was a graceful attention to be expected from
|
|
a man like Lydgate, and that the fault of any troublesome consequences
|
|
lay in the pinched narrowness of provincial life at that time,
|
|
which offered no conveniences for professional people whose fortune
|
|
was not proportioned to their tastes; also, in Lydgate's ridiculous
|
|
fastidiousness about asking his friends for money.
|
|
|
|
However, it had seemed a question of no moment to him on that fine
|
|
morning when he went to give a final order for plate: in the
|
|
presence of other jewels enormously expensive, and as an addition
|
|
to orders of which the amount had not been exactly calculated,
|
|
thirty pounds for ornaments so exquisitely suited to Rosamond's
|
|
neck and arms could hardly appear excessive when there was no ready
|
|
cash for it to exceed. But at this crisis Lydgate's imagination
|
|
could not help dwelling on the possibility of letting the amethysts
|
|
take their place again among Mr. Dover's stock, though he shrank
|
|
from the idea of proposing this to Rosamond. Having been roused to
|
|
discern consequences which he had never been in the habit of tracing,
|
|
he was preparing to act on this discernment with some of the rigor
|
|
(by no means all) that he would have applied in pursuing experiment.
|
|
He was nerving himself to this rigor as he rode from Brassing,
|
|
and meditated on the representations he must make to Rosamond.
|
|
|
|
It was evening when he got home. He was intensely miserable,
|
|
this strong man of nine-and-twenty and of many gifts. He was not
|
|
saying angrily within himself that he had made a profound mistake;
|
|
but the mistake was at work in him like a recognized chronic disease,
|
|
mingling its uneasy importunities with every prospect, and enfeebling
|
|
every thought. As he went along the passage to the drawing-room,
|
|
he heard the piano and singing. Of course, Ladislaw was there.
|
|
It was some weeks since Will had parted from Dorothea, yet he was
|
|
still at the old post in Middlemarch. Lydgate had no objection
|
|
in general to Ladislaw's coming, but just now he was annoyed that he
|
|
could not find his hearth free. When he opened the door the two
|
|
singers went on towards the key-note, raising their eyes and looking
|
|
at him indeed, but not regarding his entrance as an interruption.
|
|
To a man galled with his harness as poor Lydgate was, it is not
|
|
soothing to see two people warbling at him, as he comes in with the
|
|
sense that the painful day has still pains in store. His face,
|
|
already paler than usual, took on a scowl as he walked across the room
|
|
and flung himself into a chair.
|
|
|
|
The singers feeling themselves excused by the fact that they had
|
|
only three bars to sing, now turned round.
|
|
|
|
"How are you, Lydgate?" said Will, coming forward to shake hands.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate took his hand, but did not think it necessary to speak.
|
|
|
|
"Have you dined, Tertius? I expected you much earlier," said Rosamond,
|
|
who had already seen that her husband was in a "horrible humor."
|
|
She seated herself in her usual place as she spoke.
|
|
|
|
"I have dined. I should like some tea, please," said Lydgate,
|
|
curtly, still scowling and looking markedly at his legs stretched
|
|
out before him.
|
|
|
|
Will was too quick to need more. "I shall be off," he said,
|
|
reaching his hat.
|
|
|
|
"Tea is coming," said Rosamond; "pray don't go."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, Lydgate is bored," said Will, who had more comprehension
|
|
of Lydgate than Rosamond had, and was not offended by his manner,
|
|
easily imagining outdoor causes of annoyance.
|
|
|
|
"There is the more need for you to stay," said Rosamond, playfully,
|
|
and in her lightest accent; "he will not speak to me all the evening."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, Rosamond, I shall," said Lydgate, in his strong baritone.
|
|
"I have some serious business to speak to you about."
|
|
|
|
No introduction of the business could have been less like that
|
|
which Lydgate had intended; but her indifferent manner had been
|
|
too provoking.
|
|
|
|
"There! you see," said Will. "I'm going to the meeting about
|
|
the Mechanics' Institute. Good-by;" and he went quickly out of the room.
|
|
|
|
Rosamond did not look at her husband, but presently rose and took
|
|
her place before the tea-tray. She was thinking that she had never
|
|
seen him so disagreeable. Lydgate turned his dark eyes on her
|
|
and watched her as she delicately handled the tea-service with her
|
|
taper fingers, and looked at the objects immediately before her
|
|
with no curve in her face disturbed, and yet with an ineffable
|
|
protest in her air against all people with unpleasant manners.
|
|
For the moment he lost the sense of his wound in a sudden speculation
|
|
about this new form of feminine impassibility revealing itself
|
|
in the sylph-like frame which he had once interpreted as the sign
|
|
of a ready intelligent sensitiveness. His mind glancing back to Laure
|
|
while he looked at Rosamond, he said inwardly, "Would SHE kill me
|
|
because I wearied her?" and then, "It is the way with all women."
|
|
But this power of generalizing which gives men so much the superiority
|
|
in mistake over the dumb animals, was immediately thwarted by Lydgate's
|
|
memory of wondering impressions from the behavior of another woman--
|
|
from Dorothea's looks and tones of emotion about her husband
|
|
when Lydgate began to attend him--from her passionate cry to be
|
|
taught what would best comfort that man for whose sake it seemed
|
|
as if she must quell every impulse in her except the yearnings
|
|
of faithfulness and compassion. These revived impressions succeeded
|
|
each other quickly and dreamily in Lydgate's mind while the tea
|
|
was being brewed. He had shut his eyes in the last instant of
|
|
reverie while he heard Dorothea saying, "Advise me--think what I
|
|
can do--he has been all his life laboring and looking forward.
|
|
He minds about nothing else--and I mind about nothing else."
|
|
|
|
That voice of deep-souled womanhood had remained within him as the
|
|
enkindling conceptions of dead and sceptred genius had remained
|
|
within him (is there not a genius for feeling nobly which also
|
|
reigns over human spirits and their conclusions?); the tones were
|
|
a music from which he was falling away--he had really fallen into
|
|
a momentary doze, when Rosamond said in her silvery neutral way,
|
|
"Here is your tea, Tertius," setting it on the small table by
|
|
his side, and then moved back to her place without looking at him.
|
|
Lydgate was too hasty in attributing insensibility to her; after her
|
|
own fashion, she was sensitive enough, and took lasting impressions.
|
|
Her impression now was one of offence and repulsion. But then,
|
|
Rosamond had no scowls and had never raised her voice: she was
|
|
quite sure that no one could justly find fault with her.
|
|
|
|
Perhaps Lydgate and she had never felt so far off each other before;
|
|
but there were strong reasons for not deferring his revelation,
|
|
even if he had not already begun it by that abrupt announcement;
|
|
indeed some of the angry desire to rouse her into more sensibility
|
|
on his account which had prompted him to speak prematurely,
|
|
still mingled with his pain in the prospect of her pain.
|
|
But he waited till the tray was gone, the candles were lit,
|
|
and the evening quiet might be counted on: the interval had left
|
|
time for repelled tenderness to return into the old course.
|
|
He spoke kindly.
|
|
|
|
"Dear Rosy, lay down your work and come to sit by me," he said,
|
|
gently, pushing away the table, and stretching out his arm to draw
|
|
a chair near his own.
|
|
|
|
Rosamond obeyed. As she came towards him in her drapery of
|
|
transparent faintly tinted muslin, her slim yet round figure never
|
|
looked more graceful; as she sat down by him and laid one hand
|
|
on the elbow of his chair, at last looking at him and meeting
|
|
his eyes, her delicate neck and cheek and purely cut lips never had
|
|
more of that untarnished beauty which touches as in spring-time
|
|
and infancy and all sweet freshness. It touched Lydgate now,
|
|
and mingled the early moments of his love for her with all the
|
|
other memories which were stirred in this crisis of deep trouble.
|
|
He laid his ample hand softly on hers, saying--
|
|
|
|
"Dear!" with the lingering utterance which affection gives to
|
|
the word. Rosamond too was still under the power of that same past,
|
|
and her husband was still in part the Lydgate whose approval had
|
|
stirred delight. She put his hair lightly away from his forehead,
|
|
then laid her other hand on his, and was conscious of forgiving him.
|
|
|
|
"I am obliged to tell you what will hurt you, Rosy. But there
|
|
are things which husband and wife must think of together. I dare
|
|
say it has occurred to you already that I am short of money."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate paused; but Rosamond turned her neck and looked at a vase
|
|
on the mantel-piece.
|
|
|
|
"I was not able to pay for all the things we had to get before we
|
|
were married, and there have been expenses since which I have
|
|
been obliged to meet. The consequence is, there is a large debt
|
|
at Brassing--three hundred and eighty pounds--which has been pressing
|
|
on me a good while, and in fact we are getting deeper every day,
|
|
for people don't pay me the faster because others want the money.
|
|
I took pains to keep it from you while you were not well; but now we
|
|
must think together about it, and you must help me."
|
|
|
|
"What can--I--do, Tertius?" said Rosamond, turning her eyes on him again.
|
|
That little speech of four words, like so many others in all languages,
|
|
is capable by varied vocal inflections of expressing all states of mind
|
|
from helpless dimness to exhaustive argumentative perception, from the
|
|
completest self-devoting fellowship to the most neutral aloofness.
|
|
Rosamond's thin utterance threw into the words "What can--I--do!"
|
|
as much neutrality as they could hold. They fell like a mortal chill
|
|
on Lydgate's roused tenderness. He did not storm in indignation--
|
|
he felt too sad a sinking of the heart. And when he spoke again
|
|
it was more in the tone of a man who forces himself to fulfil a task.
|
|
|
|
"It is necessary for you to know, because I have to give security
|
|
for a time, and a man must come to make an inventory of the furniture."
|
|
|
|
Rosamond colored deeply. "Have you not asked papa for money?"
|
|
she said, as soon as she could speak.
|
|
|
|
"No."
|
|
|
|
"Then I must ask him!" she said, releasing her hands from Lydgate's,
|
|
and rising to stand at two yards' distance from him.
|
|
|
|
"No, Rosy," said Lydgate, decisively. "It is too late to do that.
|
|
The inventory will be begun to-morrow. Remember it is a mere security:
|
|
it will make no difference: it is a temporary affair. I insist upon
|
|
it that your father shall not know, unless I choose to tell him,"
|
|
added Lydgate, with a more peremptory emphasis.
|
|
|
|
This certainly was unkind, but Rosamond had thrown him back
|
|
on evil expectation as to what she would do in the way of quiet
|
|
steady disobedience. The unkindness seemed unpardonable to her:
|
|
she was not given to weeping and disliked it, but now her chin and
|
|
lips began to tremble and the tears welled up. Perhaps it was not
|
|
possible for Lydgate, under the double stress of outward material
|
|
difficulty and of his own proud resistance to humiliating consequences,
|
|
to imagine fully what this sudden trial was to a young creature
|
|
who had known nothing but indulgence, and whose dreams had all been
|
|
of new indulgence, more exactly to her taste. But he did wish to
|
|
spare her as much as he could, and her tears cut him to the heart.
|
|
He could not speak again immediately; but Rosamond did not go
|
|
on sobbing: she tried to conquer her agitation and wiped away
|
|
her tears, continuing to look before her at the mantel-piece.
|
|
|
|
"Try not to grieve, darling," said Lydgate, turning his eyes up
|
|
towards her. That she had chosen to move away from him in this
|
|
moment of her trouble made everything harder to say, but he must
|
|
absolutely go on. "We must brace ourselves to do what is necessary.
|
|
It is I who have been in fault: I ought to have seen that I
|
|
could not afford-to live in this way. But many things have told
|
|
against me in my practice, and it really just now has ebbed
|
|
to a low point. I may recover it, but in the mean time we must
|
|
pull up--we must change our way of living. We shall weather it.
|
|
When I have given this security I shall have time to look about me;
|
|
and you are so clever that if you turn your mind to managing you
|
|
will school me into carefulness. I have been a thoughtless rascal
|
|
about squaring prices--but come, dear, sit down and forgive me."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate was bowing his neck under the yoke like a creature
|
|
who had talons, but who had Reason too, which often reduces us
|
|
to meekness. When he had spoken the last words in an imploring tone,
|
|
Rosamond returned to the chair by his side. His self-blame gave
|
|
her some hope that he would attend to her opinion, and she said--
|
|
|
|
"Why can you not put off having the inventory made? You can send
|
|
the men away to-morrow when they come."
|
|
|
|
"I shall not send them away," said Lydgate, the peremptoriness
|
|
rising again. Was it of any use to explain?
|
|
|
|
"If we left Middlemarch? there would of course be a sale,
|
|
and that would do as well."
|
|
|
|
"But we are not going to leave Middlemarch."
|
|
|
|
"I am sure, Tertius, it would be much better to do so. Why can we
|
|
not go to London? Or near Durham, where your family is known?"
|
|
|
|
"We can go nowhere without money, Rosamond."
|
|
|
|
"Your friends would not wish you to be without money. And surely
|
|
these odious tradesmen might be made to understand that, and to wait,
|
|
if you would make proper representations to them."
|
|
|
|
"This is idle Rosamond," said Lydgate, angrily. "You must
|
|
learn to take my judgment on questions you don't understand.
|
|
I have made necessary arrangements, and they must be carried out.
|
|
As to friends, I have no expectations whatever from them, and shall
|
|
not ask them for anything."
|
|
|
|
Rosamond sat perfectly still. The thought in her mind was that if she
|
|
had known how Lydgate would behave, she would never have married him.
|
|
|
|
"We have no time to waste now on unnecessary words, dear,"
|
|
said Lydgate, trying to be gentle again. "There are some details
|
|
that I want to consider with you. Dover says he will take a good
|
|
deal of the plate back again, and any of the jewellery we like.
|
|
He really behaves very well."
|
|
|
|
"Are we to go without spoons and forks then?" said Rosamond, whose very
|
|
lips seemed to get thinner with the thinness of her utterance.
|
|
She was determined to make no further resistance or suggestions.
|
|
|
|
"Oh no, dear!" said Lydgate. "But look here," he continued,
|
|
drawing a paper from his pocket and opening it; "here is
|
|
Dover's account. See, I have marked a number of articles,
|
|
which if we returned them would reduce the amount by thirty pounds.
|
|
and more. I have not marked any of the jewellery." Lydgate had
|
|
really felt this point of the jewellery very bitter to himself;
|
|
but he had overcome the feeling by severe argument. He could not
|
|
propose to Rosamond that she should return any particular present
|
|
of his, but he had told himself that he was bound to put Dover's
|
|
offer before her, and her inward prompting might make the affair easy.
|
|
|
|
"It is useless for me to look, Tertius," said Rosamond, calmly;
|
|
"you will return what you please." She would not turn her eyes
|
|
on the paper, and Lydgate, flushing up to the roots of his hair,
|
|
drew it back and let it fall on his knee. Meanwhile Rosamond quietly
|
|
went out of the room, leaving Lydgate helpless and wondering.
|
|
Was she not coming back? It seemed that she had no more identified
|
|
herself with him than if they had been creatures of different species
|
|
and opposing interests. He tossed his head and thrust his hands deep
|
|
into his pockets with a sort of vengeance. There was still science--
|
|
there were still good objects to work for. He must give a tug still--
|
|
all the stronger because other satisfactions were going.
|
|
|
|
But the door opened and Rosamond re-entered. She carried the
|
|
leather box containing the amethysts, and a tiny ornamental basket
|
|
which contained other boxes, and laying them on the chair where
|
|
she had been sitting, she said, with perfect propriety in her air--
|
|
|
|
"This is all the jewellery you ever gave me. You can return what
|
|
you like of it, and of the plate also. You will not, of course,
|
|
expect me to stay at home to-morrow. I shall go to papa's."
|
|
|
|
To many women the look Lydgate cast at her would have been more
|
|
terrible than one of anger: it had in it a despairing acceptance
|
|
of the distance she was placing between them.
|
|
|
|
"And when shall you come back again?" he said, with a bitter edge
|
|
on his accent.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, in the evening. Of course I shall not mention the subject
|
|
to mamma." Rosamond was convinced that no woman could behave
|
|
more irreproachably than she was behaving; and she went to sit
|
|
down at her work-table. Lydgate sat meditating a minute or two,
|
|
and the result was that he said, with some of the old emotion
|
|
in his tone--
|
|
|
|
"Now we have been united, Rosy, you should not leave me to myself
|
|
in the first trouble that has come."
|
|
|
|
"Certainly not," said Rosamond; "I shall do everything it becomes
|
|
me to do."
|
|
|
|
"It is not right that the thing should be left to servants, or that I
|
|
should have to speak to them about it. And I shall be obliged
|
|
to go out--I don't know how early. I understand your shrinking
|
|
from the humiliation of these money affairs. But, my dear Rosamond,
|
|
as a question of pride, which I feel just as much as you can, it is
|
|
surely better to manage the thing ourselves, and let the servants
|
|
see as little of it as possible; and since you are my wife, there is
|
|
no hindering your share in my disgraces--if there were disgraces."
|
|
|
|
Rosamond did not answer immediately, but at last she said, "Very well,
|
|
I will stay at home."
|
|
|
|
"I shall not touch these jewels, Rosy. Take them away again.
|
|
But I will write out a list of plate that we may return, and that can
|
|
be packed up and sent at once."
|
|
|
|
"The servants will know THAT," said Rosamond, with the slightest
|
|
touch of sarcasm.
|
|
|
|
"Well, we must meet some disagreeables as necessities. Where is
|
|
the ink, I wonder?" said Lydgate, rising, and throwing the account
|
|
on the larger table where he meant to write.
|
|
|
|
Rosamond went to reach the inkstand, and after setting it on the table
|
|
was going to turn away, when Lydgate, who was standing close by,
|
|
put his arm round her and drew her towards him, saying--
|
|
|
|
"Come, darling, let us make the best of things. It will only be
|
|
for a time, I hope, that we shall have to be stingy and particular.
|
|
Kiss me."
|
|
|
|
His native warm-heartedness took a great deal of quenching,
|
|
and it is a part of manliness for a husband to feel keenly the fact
|
|
that an inexperienced girl has got into trouble by marrying him.
|
|
She received his kiss and returned it faintly, and in this way
|
|
an appearance of accord was recovered for the time. But Lydgate
|
|
could not help looking forward with dread to the inevitable future
|
|
discussions about expenditure and the necessity for a complete change
|
|
in their way of living.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LIX.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
They said of old the Soul had human shape,
|
|
But smaller, subtler than the fleshly self,
|
|
So wandered forth for airing when it pleased.
|
|
And see! beside her cherub-face there floats
|
|
A pale-lipped form aerial whispering
|
|
Its promptings in that little shell her ear."
|
|
|
|
|
|
News is often dispersed as thoughtlessly and effectively as that
|
|
pollen which the bees carry off (having no idea how powdery they are)
|
|
when they are buzzing in search of their particular nectar.
|
|
This fine comparison has reference to Fred Vincy, who on that evening
|
|
at Lowick Parsonage heard a lively discussion among the ladies on
|
|
the news which their old servant had got from Tantripp concerning
|
|
Mr. Casaubon's strange mention of Mr. Ladislaw in a codicil to his will
|
|
made not long before his death. Miss Winifred was astounded to find
|
|
that her brother had known the fact before, and observed that Camden
|
|
was the most wonderful man for knowing things and not telling them;
|
|
whereupon Mary Garth said that the codicil had perhaps got mixed
|
|
up with the habits of spiders, which Miss Winifred never would
|
|
listen to. Mrs. Farebrother considered that the news had something
|
|
to do with their having only once seen Mr. Ladislaw at Lowick,
|
|
and Miss Noble made many small compassionate mewings.
|
|
|
|
Fred knew little and cared less about Ladislaw and the Casaubons,
|
|
and his mind never recurred to that discussion till one day calling
|
|
on Rosamond at his mother's request to deliver a message as he passed,
|
|
he happened to see Ladislaw going away. Fred and Rosamond had little
|
|
to say to each other now that marriage had removed her from collision
|
|
with the unpleasantness of brothers, and especially now that he had
|
|
taken what she held the stupid and even reprehensible step of giving
|
|
up the Church to take to such a business as Mr. Garth's. Hence
|
|
Fred talked by preference of what he considered indifferent news,
|
|
and "a propos of that young Ladislaw" mentioned what he had
|
|
heard at Lowick Parsonage.
|
|
|
|
Now Lydgate, like Mr. Farebrother, knew a great deal more than
|
|
he told, and when he had once been set thinking about the relation
|
|
between Will and Dorothea his conjectures had gone beyond the fact.
|
|
He imagined that there was a passionate attachment on both sides,
|
|
and this struck him as much too serious to gossip about.
|
|
He remembered Will's irritability when he had mentioned Mrs. Casaubon,
|
|
and was the more circumspect. On the whole his surmises, in addition
|
|
to what he knew of the fact, increased his friendliness and tolerance
|
|
towards Ladislaw, and made him understand the vacillation which kept
|
|
him at Middlemarch after he had said that he should go away.
|
|
It was significant of the separateness be tween Lydgate's mind and
|
|
Rosamond's that he had no impulse to speak to her on the subject;
|
|
indeed, he did not quite trust her reticence towards Will.
|
|
And he was right there; though he had no vision of the way
|
|
in which her mind would act in urging her to speak.
|
|
|
|
When she repeated Fred's news to Lydgate, he said, "Take care you
|
|
don't drop the faintest hint to Ladislaw, Rosy. He is likely to fly
|
|
out as if you insulted him. Of course it is a painful affair."
|
|
|
|
Rosamond turned her neck and patted her hair, looking the image
|
|
of placid indifference. But the next time Will came when Lydgate
|
|
was away, she spoke archly about his not going to London as he
|
|
had threatened.
|
|
|
|
"I know all about it. I have a confidential little bird," said she,
|
|
showing very pretty airs of her head over the bit of work held
|
|
high between her active fingers. "There is a powerful magnet
|
|
in this neighborhood."
|
|
|
|
"To be sure there is. Nobody knows that better than you," said Will,
|
|
with light gallantry, but inwardly prepared to be angry.
|
|
|
|
"It is really the most charming romance: Mr. Casaubon jealous,
|
|
and foreseeing that there was no one else whom Mrs. Casaubon would
|
|
so much like to marry, and no one who would so much like to marry
|
|
her as a certain gentleman; and then laying a plan to spoil all
|
|
by making her forfeit her property if she did marry that gentleman--
|
|
and then--and then--and then--oh, I have no doubt the end will be
|
|
thoroughly romantic."
|
|
|
|
"Great God! what do you mean?" said Will, flushing over face and ears,
|
|
his features seeming to change as if he had had a violent shake.
|
|
"Don't joke; tell me what you mean."
|
|
|
|
"You don't really know?" said Rosamond, no longer playful, and desiring
|
|
nothing better than to tell in order that she might evoke effects.
|
|
|
|
"No!" he returned, impatiently.
|
|
|
|
"Don't know that Mr. Casaubon has left it in his will that
|
|
if Mrs. Casaubon marries you she is to forfeit all her property?"
|
|
|
|
"How do you know that it is true?" said Will, eagerly.
|
|
|
|
"My brother Fred heard it from the Farebrothers." Will started up
|
|
from his chair and reached his hat.
|
|
|
|
"I dare say she likes you better than the property," said Rosamond,
|
|
looking at him from a distance.
|
|
|
|
"Pray don't say any more about it," said Will, in a hoarse undertone
|
|
extremely unlike his usual light voice. "It is a foul insult
|
|
to her and to me." Then he sat down absently, looking before him,
|
|
but seeing nothing.
|
|
|
|
"Now you are angry with ME," said Rosamond. "It is too bad
|
|
to bear ME malice. You ought to be obliged to me for telling you."
|
|
|
|
"So I am," said Will, abruptly, speaking with that kind of double
|
|
soul which belongs to dreamers who answer questions.
|
|
|
|
"I expect to hear of the marriage," said Rosamond, play. fully.
|
|
|
|
"Never! You will never hear of the marriage!"
|
|
|
|
With those words uttered impetuously, Will rose, put out his hand
|
|
to Rosamond, still with the air of a somnambulist, and went away.
|
|
|
|
When he was gone, Rosamond left her chair and walked to the other end
|
|
of the room, leaning when she got there against a chiffonniere,
|
|
and looking out of the window wearily. She was oppressed by ennui,
|
|
and by that dissatisfaction which in women's minds is continually
|
|
turning into a trivial jealousy, referring to no real claims,
|
|
springing from no deeper passion than the vague exactingness
|
|
of egoism, and yet capable of impelling action as well as speech.
|
|
"There really is nothing to care for much," said poor Rosamond inwardly,
|
|
thinking of the family at Quallingham, who did not write to her;
|
|
and that perhaps Tertius when he came home would tease her
|
|
about expenses. She had already secretly disobeyed him by asking
|
|
her father to help them, and he had ended decisively by saying,
|
|
"I am more likely to want help myself."
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LX.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Good phrases are surely, and ever were, very commendable.
|
|
--Justice Shallow.
|
|
|
|
A few days afterwards--it was already the end of August--there was an
|
|
occasion which caused some excitement in Middlemarch: the public, if
|
|
it chose, was to have the advantage of buying, under the distinguished
|
|
auspices of Mr. Borthrop Trumbull, the furniture, books, and pictures
|
|
which anybody might see by the handbills to be the best in every kind,
|
|
belonging to Edwin Larcher, Esq. This was not one of the sales indicating
|
|
the depression of trade; on the contrary, it was due to Mr. Larcher's
|
|
great success in the carrying business, which warranted his purchase of a
|
|
mansion near Riverston already furnished in high style by an illustrious
|
|
Spa physician--furnished indeed with such large framefuls of expensive
|
|
flesh-painting in the dining-room, that Mrs. Larcher was nervous until
|
|
reassured by finding the subjects to be Scriptural. Hence the fine
|
|
opportunity to purchasers which was well pointed out in the handbills
|
|
of Mr. Borthrop Trumbull, whose acquaintance with the history of art
|
|
enabled him to state that the hall furniture, to be sold without reserve,
|
|
comprised a piece of carving by a contemporary of Gibbons.
|
|
|
|
At Middlemarch in those times a large sale was regarded as a kind
|
|
of festival. There was a table spread with the best cold eatables,
|
|
as at a superior funeral; and facilities were offered for that
|
|
generous-drinking of cheerful glasses which might lead to generous
|
|
and cheerful bidding for undesirable articles. Mr. Larcher's sale
|
|
was the more attractive in the fine weather because the house stood
|
|
just at the end of the town, with a garden and stables attached,
|
|
in that pleasant issue from Middlemarch called the London Road,
|
|
which was also the road to the New Hospital and to Mr. Bulstrode's
|
|
retired residence, known as the Shrubs. In short, the auction was
|
|
as good as a fair, and drew all classes with leisure at command:
|
|
to some, who risked making bids in order simply to raise prices,
|
|
it was almost equal to betting at the races. The second day,
|
|
when the best furniture was to be sold, "everybody" was there;
|
|
even Mr. Thesiger, the rector of St. Peter's, had looked in for a
|
|
short time, wishing to buy the carved table, and had rubbed elbows
|
|
with Mr. Bambridge and Mr. Horrock. There was a wreath of Middlemarch
|
|
ladies accommodated with seats round the large table in the dining-room,
|
|
where Mr. Borthrop Trumbull was mounted with desk and hammer;
|
|
but the rows chiefly of masculine faces behind were often varied
|
|
by incomings and outgoings both from the door and the large bow-window
|
|
opening on to the lawn.
|
|
|
|
"Everybody" that day did not include Mr. Bulstrode, whose health
|
|
could not well endure crowds and draughts. But Mrs. Bulstrode had
|
|
particularly wished to have a certain picture--a "Supper at Emmaus,"
|
|
attributed in the catalogue to Guido; and at the last moment
|
|
before the day of the sale Mr. Bulstrode had called at the office
|
|
of the "Pioneer," of which he was now one of the proprietors,
|
|
to beg of Mr. Ladislaw as a great favor that he would obligingly use
|
|
his remarkable knowledge of pictures on behalf of Mrs. Bulstrode,
|
|
and judge of the value of this particular painting--"if," added
|
|
the scrupulously polite banker, attendance at the sale would not
|
|
interfere with the arrangements for your departure, which I know
|
|
is imminent."
|
|
|
|
This proviso might have sounded rather satirically in Will's ear
|
|
if he had been in a mood to care about such satire. It referred
|
|
to an understanding entered into many weeks before with the
|
|
proprietors of the paper, that he should be at liberty any day
|
|
he pleased to hand over the management to the subeditor whom he
|
|
had been training; since he wished finally to quit Middlemarch.
|
|
But indefinite visions of ambition are weak against the ease of
|
|
doing what is habitual or beguilingly agreeable; and we all know
|
|
the difficulty of carrying out a resolve when we secretly long
|
|
that it may turn out to be unnecessary. In such states of mind
|
|
the most incredulous person has a private leaning towards miracle:
|
|
impossible to conceive how our wish could be fulfilled, still--
|
|
very wonderful things have happened! Will did not confess this
|
|
weakness to himself, but he lingered. What was the use of going
|
|
to London at that time of the year? The Rugby men who would remember
|
|
him were not there; and so far as political writing was concerned,
|
|
he would rather for a few weeks go on with the "Pioneer." At the
|
|
present moment, however, when Mr. Bulstrode was speaking to him,
|
|
he had both a strengthened resolve to go and an equally strong
|
|
resolve not to go till he had once more seen Dorothea. Hence he
|
|
replied that he had reasons for deferring his departure a little,
|
|
and would be happy to go to the sale.
|
|
|
|
Will was in a defiant mood, his consciousness being deeply stung
|
|
with the thought that the people who looked at him probably knew
|
|
a fact tantamount to an accusation against him as a fellow with low
|
|
designs which were to be frustrated by a disposal of property.
|
|
Like most people who assert their freedom with regard to conventional
|
|
distinction, he was prepared to be sudden and quick at quarrel with any
|
|
one who might hint that he had personal reasons for that assertion--
|
|
that there was anything in his blood, his bearing, or his character
|
|
to which he gave the mask of an opinion. When he was under an
|
|
irritating impression of this kind he would go about for days with a
|
|
defiant look, the color changing in his transparent skin as if he were
|
|
on the qui vive, watching for something which he had to dart upon.
|
|
|
|
This expression was peculiarly noticeable in him at the sale,
|
|
and those who had only seen him in his moods of gentle oddity
|
|
or of bright enjoyment would have been struck with a contrast.
|
|
He was not sorry to have this occasion for appearing in public
|
|
before the Middlemarch tribes of Toller, Hackbutt, and the rest,
|
|
who looked down on him as an adventurer, and were in a state
|
|
of brutal ignorance about Dante--who sneered at his Polish blood,
|
|
and were themselves of a breed very much in need of crossing.
|
|
He stood in a conspicuous place not far from the auctioneer,
|
|
with a fore-finger in each side-pocket and his head thrown backward,
|
|
not caring to speak to anybody, though he had been cordially welcomed
|
|
as a connoissURE by Mr. Trumbull, who was enjoying the utmost
|
|
activity of his great faculties.
|
|
|
|
And surely among all men whose vocation requires them to exhibit
|
|
their powers of speech, the happiest is a prosperous provincial
|
|
auctioneer keenly alive to his own jokes and sensible of his
|
|
encyclopedic knowledge. Some saturnine, sour-blooded persons
|
|
might object to be constantly insisting on the merits of all
|
|
articles from boot-jacks to "Berghems;" but Mr. Borthrop Trumbull
|
|
had a kindly liquid in his veins; he was an admirer by nature,
|
|
and would have liked to have the universe under his hammer,
|
|
feeling that it would go at a higher figure for his recommendation.
|
|
|
|
Meanwhile Mrs. Larcher's drawing-room furniture was enough for him.
|
|
When Will Ladislaw had come in, a second fender, said to have been
|
|
forgotten in its right place, suddenly claimed the auctioneer's
|
|
enthusiasm, which he distributed on the equitable principle of praising
|
|
those things most which were most in need of praise. The fender
|
|
was of polished steel, with much lancet-shaped open-work and a sharp edge
|
|
|
|
"Now, ladies," said he, "I shall appeal to you. Here is a fender
|
|
which at any other sale would hardly be offered with out reserve,
|
|
being, as I may say, for quality of steel and quaintness of design,
|
|
a kind of thing"--here Mr. Trumbull dropped his voice and became
|
|
slightly nasal, trimming his outlines with his left finger--
|
|
"that might not fall in with ordinary tastes. Allow me to tell
|
|
you that by-and-by this style of workmanship will be the only
|
|
one in vogue--half-a-crown, you said? thank you--going at
|
|
half-a-crown, this characteristic fender; and I have particular
|
|
information that the antique style is very much sought after
|
|
in high quarters. Three shillings--three-and-sixpence--hold it
|
|
well up, Joseph! Look, ladies, at the chastity of the design--
|
|
I have no doubt myself that it was turned out in the last century!
|
|
Four shillings, Mr. Mawmsey?--four shillings."
|
|
|
|
"It's not a thing I would put in MY drawing-room,"
|
|
said Mrs. Mawmsey, audibly, for the warning of the rash husband.
|
|
"I wonder AT Mrs. Larcher. Every blessed child's head
|
|
that fell against it would be cut in two. The edge is like a knife."
|
|
|
|
"Quite true," rejoined Mr. Trumbull, quickly, "and most uncommonly
|
|
useful to have a fender at hand that will cut, if you have a leather
|
|
shoe-tie or a bit of string that wants cutting and no knife at hand:
|
|
many a man has been left hanging because there was no knife to cut
|
|
him down. Gentlemen, here's a fender that if you had the misfortune
|
|
to hang yourselves would cut you down in no time--with astonishing
|
|
celerity--four-and-sixpence--five--five-and-sixpence--an appropriate
|
|
thing for a spare bedroom where there was a four-poster and a guest
|
|
a little out of his mind--six shillings--thank you, Mr. Clintup--
|
|
going at six shillings--going--gone!" The auctioneer's glance,
|
|
which had been searching round him with a preternatural susceptibility
|
|
to all signs of bidding, here dropped on the paper before him,
|
|
and his voice too dropped into a tone of indifferent despatch
|
|
as he said, "Mr. Clintup. Be handy, Joseph."
|
|
|
|
"It was worth six shillings to have a fender you could always tell
|
|
that joke on," said Mr. Clintup, laughing low and apologetically to his
|
|
next neighbor. He was a diffident though distinguished nurseryman,
|
|
and feared that the audience might regard his bid as a foolish one.
|
|
|
|
Meanwhile Joseph had brought a trayful of small articles.
|
|
"Now, ladies," said Mr. Trumbull, taking up one of the articles,
|
|
"this tray contains a very recherchy lot--a collection of trifles
|
|
for the drawing-room table--and trifles make the sum OF
|
|
human things--nothing more important than trifles--(yes, Mr. Ladislaw,
|
|
yes, by-and-by)--but pass the tray round, Joseph--these bijoux must
|
|
be examined, ladies. This I have in my hand is an ingenious contrivance--
|
|
a sort of practical rebus, I may call it: here, you see, it looks like
|
|
an elegant heart-shaped box, portable--for the pocket; there, again,
|
|
it becomes like a splendid double flower--an ornament for the table;
|
|
and now"--Mr. Trumbull allowed the flower to fall alarmingly into
|
|
strings of heart-shaped leaves--"a book of riddles! No less than
|
|
five hundred printed in a beautiful red. Gentlemen, if I had less
|
|
of a conscience, I should not wish you to bid high for this lot--
|
|
I have a longing for it myself. What can promote innocent mirth,
|
|
and I may say virtue, more than a good riddle?--it hinders profane
|
|
language, and attaches a man to the society of refined females.
|
|
This ingenious article itself, without the elegant domino-box,
|
|
card-basket, &c., ought alone to give a high price to the lot.
|
|
Carried in the pocket it might make an individual welcome in
|
|
any society. Four shillings, sir?--four shillings for this remarkable
|
|
collection of riddles with the et caeteras. Here is a sample:
|
|
`How must you spell honey to make it catch lady-birds? Answer--
|
|
money.' You hear?--lady-birds--honey money. This is an amusement
|
|
to sharpen the intellect; it has a sting--it has what we call
|
|
satire, and wit without indecency. Four-and-sixpence--five shillings."
|
|
|
|
The bidding ran on with warming rivalry. Mr. Bowyer was a bidder,
|
|
and this was too exasperating. Bowyer couldn't afford it,
|
|
and only wanted to hinder every other man from making a figure.
|
|
The current carried even Mr. Horrock with it, but this committal
|
|
of himself to an opinion fell from him with so little sacrifice
|
|
of his neutral expression, that the bid might not have been detected
|
|
as his but for the friendly oaths of Mr. Bambridge, who wanted to know
|
|
what Horrock would do with blasted stuff only fit for haberdashers
|
|
given over to that state of perdition which the horse-dealer
|
|
so cordially recognized in the majority of earthly existences.
|
|
The lot was finally knocked down at a guinea to Mr. Spilkins, a young
|
|
Slender of the neighborhood, who was reckless with his pocket-money
|
|
and felt his want of memory for riddles.
|
|
|
|
"Come, Trumbull, this is too bad--you've been putting some old
|
|
maid's rubbish into the sale," murmured Mr. Toller, getting close
|
|
to the auctioneer. "I want to see how the prints go, and I must
|
|
be off soon."
|
|
|
|
"IMmediately, Mr. Toller. It was only an act of benevolence
|
|
which your noble heart would approve. Joseph! quick with the prints--
|
|
Lot 235. Now, gentlemen, you who are connoissURES, you
|
|
are going to have a treat. Here is an engraving of the Duke
|
|
of Wellington surrounded by his staff on the Field of Waterloo;
|
|
and notwithstanding recent events which have, as it were,
|
|
enveloped our great Hero in a cloud, I will be bold to say--
|
|
for a man in my line must not be blown about by political winds--
|
|
that a finer subject--of the modern order, belonging to our own
|
|
time and epoch--the understanding of man could hardly conceive:
|
|
angels might, perhaps, but not men, sirs, not men."
|
|
|
|
"Who painted it?" said Mr. Powderell, much impressed.
|
|
|
|
"It is a proof before the letter, Mr. Powderell--the painter is
|
|
not known," answered Trumbull, with a certain gaspingness in his
|
|
last words, after which he pursed up his lips and stared round him.
|
|
|
|
"I'll bid a pound!" said Mr. Powderell, in a tone of resolved emotion,
|
|
as of a man ready to put himself in the breach. Whether from awe
|
|
or pity, nobody raised the price on him.
|
|
|
|
Next came two Dutch prints which Mr. Toller had been eager for,
|
|
and after he had secured them he went away. Other prints, and afterwards
|
|
some paintings, were sold to leading Middlemarchers who had come
|
|
with a special desire for them, and there was a more active movement
|
|
of the audience in and out; some, who had bought what they wanted,
|
|
going away, others coming in either quite newly or from a temporary
|
|
visit to the refreshments which were spread under the marquee on
|
|
the lawn. It was this marquee that Mr. Bambridge was bent on buying,
|
|
and he appeared to like looking inside it frequently, as a foretaste
|
|
of its possession. On the last occasion of his return from it
|
|
he was observed to bring with him a new companion, a stranger to
|
|
Mr. Trumbull and every one else, whose appearance, however, led to
|
|
the supposition that he might be a relative of the horse-dealer's--
|
|
also "given to indulgence." His large whiskers, imposing swagger,
|
|
and swing of the leg, made him a striking figure; but his suit
|
|
of black, rather shabby at the edges, caused the prejudicial inference
|
|
that he was not able to afford himself as much indulgence as he liked.
|
|
|
|
"Who is it you've picked up, Bam?" said Mr. Horrock, aside.
|
|
|
|
"Ask him yourself," returned Mr. Bambridge. "He said he'd just
|
|
turned in from the road."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Horrock eyed the stranger, who was leaning back against his
|
|
stick with one hand, using his toothpick with the other, and looking
|
|
about him with a certain restlessness apparently under the silence
|
|
imposed on him by circumstances.
|
|
|
|
At length the "Supper at Emmaus" was brought forward, to Wills
|
|
immense relief, for he was getting so tired of the proceedings that he
|
|
had drawn back a little and leaned his shoulder against the wall
|
|
just behind the auctioneer. He now came forward again, and his
|
|
eye caught the conspicuous stranger, who, rather to his surprise,
|
|
was staring at him markedly. But Will was immediately appealed
|
|
to by Mr. Trumbull.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, Mr. Ladislaw, yes; this interests you as a connoissURE,
|
|
I think. It is some pleasure," the auctioneer went on with a
|
|
rising fervor, "to have a picture like this to show to a company
|
|
of ladies and gentlemen--a picture worth any sum to an individual
|
|
whose means were on a level with his judgment. It is a painting
|
|
of the Italian school--by the celebrated Guydo, the greatest
|
|
painter in the world, the chief of the Old Masters, as they are called--
|
|
I take it, because they were up to a thing or two beyond most of us--
|
|
in possession of secrets now lost to the bulk of mankind.
|
|
Let me tell you, gentlemen, I have seen a great many pictures
|
|
by the Old Masters, and they are not all up to this mark--some of
|
|
them are darker than you might like and not family subjects.
|
|
But here is a Guydo--the frame alone is worth pounds--which any
|
|
lady might be proud to hang up--a suitable thing for what we call
|
|
a refectory in a charitable institution, if any gentleman of the
|
|
Corporation wished to show his munifiCENCE. Turn it a little,
|
|
sir? yes. Joseph, turn it a little towards Mr. Ladislaw--Mr. Ladislaw,
|
|
having been abroad, understands the merit of these things,
|
|
you observe."
|
|
|
|
All eyes were for a moment turned towards Will, who said, coolly,
|
|
"Five pounds." The auctioneer burst out in deep remonstrance.
|
|
|
|
"Ah! Mr. Ladislaw! the frame alone is worth that. Ladies and gentlemen,
|
|
for the credit of the town! Suppose it should be discovered
|
|
hereafter that a gem of art has been amongst us in this town,
|
|
and nobody in Middlemarch awake to it. Five guineas--five seven-six--
|
|
five ten. Still, ladies, still! It is a gem, and `Full many a gem,'
|
|
as the poet says, has been allowed to go at a nominal pride because
|
|
the public knew no better, because it was offered in circles where
|
|
there was--I was going to say a low feeling, but no!--Six pounds--
|
|
six guineas--a Guydo of the first order going at six guineas--
|
|
it is an insult to religion, ladies; it touches us all as Christians,
|
|
gentlemen, that a subject like this should go at such a low figure--
|
|
six pounds ten--seven--"
|
|
|
|
The bidding was brisk, and Will continued to share in it,
|
|
remembering that Mrs. Bulstrode had a strong wish for the picture,
|
|
and thinking that he might stretch the price to twelve pounds.
|
|
But it was knocked down to him at ten guineas, whereupon he pushed
|
|
his way towards the bow-window and went out. He chose to go
|
|
under the marquee to get a glass of water, being hot and thirsty:
|
|
it was empty of other visitors, and he asked the woman in attendance
|
|
to fetch him some fresh water; but before she was well gone he was
|
|
annoyed to see entering the florid stranger who had stared at him.
|
|
It struck Will at this moment that the man might be one of those political
|
|
parasitic insects of the bloated kind who had once or twice claimed
|
|
acquaintance with him as having heard him speak on the Reform question,
|
|
and who might think of getting a shilling by news. In this light
|
|
his person, already rather heating to behold on a summer's day,
|
|
appeared the more disagreeable; and Will, half-seated on the elbow
|
|
of a garden-chair, turned his eyes carefully away from the comer.
|
|
But this signified little to our acquaintance Mr. Raffles, who never
|
|
hesitated to thrust himself on unwilling observation, if it suited
|
|
his purpose to do so. He moved. a step or two till he was in front
|
|
of Will, and said with full-mouthed haste, "Excuse me, Mr. Ladislaw--
|
|
was your mother's name Sarah Dunkirk?"
|
|
|
|
Will, starting to his feet, moved backward a step, frowning, and saying
|
|
with some fierceness, "Yes, sir, it was. And what is that to you?"
|
|
|
|
It was in Will's nature that the first spark it threw out was a
|
|
direct answer of the question and a challenge of the consequences.
|
|
To have said, "What is that to you?" in the first instance,
|
|
would have seemed like shuffling--as if he minded who knew anything
|
|
about his origin!
|
|
|
|
Raffles on his side had not the same eagerness for a collision
|
|
which was implied in Ladislaw's threatening air. The slim young
|
|
fellow with his girl's complexion looked like a tiger-cat ready
|
|
to spring on him. Under such circumstances Mr. Raffles's pleasure
|
|
in annoying his company was kept in abeyance.
|
|
|
|
"No offence, my good sir, no offence! I only remember your mother--
|
|
knew her when she was a girl. But it is your father that
|
|
you feature, sir. I had the pleasure of seeing your father too.
|
|
Parents alive, Mr. Ladislaw?"
|
|
|
|
"No!" thundered Will, in the same attitude as before.
|
|
|
|
"Should be glad to do you a service, Mr. Ladislaw--by Jove, I should!
|
|
Hope to meet again."
|
|
|
|
Hereupon Raffles, who had lifted his hat with the last words,
|
|
turned himself round with a swing of his leg and walked away.
|
|
Will looked after him a moment, and could see that he did not re-enter
|
|
the auction-room, but appeared to be walking towards the road.
|
|
For an instant he thought that he had been foolish not to let the man
|
|
go on talking;--but no! on the whole he preferred doing without
|
|
knowledge from that source.
|
|
|
|
Later in the evening, however, Raffles overtook him in the street,
|
|
and appearing either to have forgotten the roughness of his former
|
|
reception or to intend avenging it by a forgiving familiarity,
|
|
greeted him jovially and walked by his side, remarking at first
|
|
on the pleasantness of the town and neighbor hood. Will suspected
|
|
that the man had been drinking and was considering how to shake him
|
|
off when Raffles said--
|
|
|
|
"I've been abroad myself, Mr. Ladislaw--I've seen the world--
|
|
used to parley-vous a little. It was at Boulogne I saw your father--
|
|
a most uncommon likeness you are of him, by Jove! mouth--nose--eyes--
|
|
hair turned off your brow just like his--a little in the foreign style.
|
|
John Bull doesn't do much of that. But your father was very ill
|
|
when I saw him. Lord, lord! hands you might see through.
|
|
You were a small youngster then. Did he get well?"
|
|
|
|
"No," said Will, curtly.
|
|
|
|
"Ah! Well! I've often wondered what became of your mother.
|
|
She ran away from her friends when she was a young lass--
|
|
a proud-spirited lass, and pretty, by Jove! I knew the reason why
|
|
she ran away," said Raffles, winking slowly as he looked sideways
|
|
at Will.
|
|
|
|
"You know nothing dishonorable of her, sir," said Will, turning on
|
|
him rather savagely. But Mr. Raffles just now was not sensitive
|
|
to shades of manner.
|
|
|
|
"Not a bit!" said he, tossing his head decisively "She was a little
|
|
too honorable to like her friends--that was it!" Here Raffles
|
|
again winked slowly. "Lord bless you, I knew all about 'em--
|
|
a little in what you may call the respectable thieving line--
|
|
the high style of receiving-house--none of your holes and corners--
|
|
first-rate. Slap-up shop, high profits and no mistake. But Lord!
|
|
Sarah would have known nothing about it--a dashing young lady she was--
|
|
fine boarding-school--fit for a lord's wife--only Archie Duncan
|
|
threw it at her out of spite, because she would have nothing
|
|
to do with him. And so she ran away from the whole concern.
|
|
I travelled for 'em, sir, in a gentlemanly way--at a high salary.
|
|
They didn't mind her running away at first--godly folks, sir,
|
|
very godly--and she was for the stage. The son was alive then,
|
|
and the daughter was at a discount. Hallo! here we are at the
|
|
Blue Bull. What do you say, Mr. Ladislaw?--shall we turn in and have
|
|
a glass?"
|
|
|
|
"No, I must say good evening," said Will, dashing up a passage which
|
|
led into Lowick Gate, and almost running to get out of Raffles's reach.
|
|
|
|
He walked a long while on the Lowick road away from the town,
|
|
glad of the starlit darkness when it came. He felt as if he
|
|
had had dirt cast on him amidst shouts of scorn. There was this
|
|
to confirm the fellow's statement--that his mother never would
|
|
tell him the reason why she had run away from her family.
|
|
|
|
Well! what was he, Will Ladislaw, the worse, supposing the truth
|
|
about that family to be the ugliest? His mother had braved
|
|
hardship in order to separate herself from it. But if Dorothea's
|
|
friends had known this story--if the Chettams had known it--
|
|
they would have had a fine color to give their suspicions a welcome
|
|
ground for thinking him unfit to come near her. However, let them
|
|
suspect what they pleased, they would find themselves in the wrong.
|
|
They would find out that the blood in his veins was as free from
|
|
the taint of meanness as theirs.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXI.
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"Inconsistencies," answered Imlac, "cannot both be right, but imputed
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to man they may both be true."--Rasselas.
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The same night, when Mr. Bulstrode returned from a journey to
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Brassing on business, his good wife met him in the entrance-hall
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and drew him into his private sitting-room.
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"Nicholas," she said, fixing her honest eyes upon him anxiously,
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"there has been such a disagreeable man here asking for you--it has
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made me quite uncomfortable."
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"What kind of man, my dear," said Mr. Bulstrode, dreadfully certain
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of the answer.
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"A red-faced man with large whiskers, and most impudent in his manner.
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He declared he was an old friend of yours, and said you would be
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sorry not to see him. He wanted to wait for you here, but I told
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him he could see you at the Bank to-morrow morning. Most impudent
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he was!--stared at me, and said his friend Nick had luck in wives.
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I don't believe he would have gone away, if Blucher had not
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happened to break his chain and come running round on the gravel--
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for I was in the garden; so I said, `You'd better go away--the dog
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is very fierce, and I can't hold him.' Do you really know anything
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of such a man?"
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"I believe I know who he is, my dear," said Mr. Bulstrode,
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in his usual subdued voice, "an unfortunate dissolute wretch,
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whom I helped too much in days gone by. However, I presume you will
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not be troubled by him again. He will probably come to the Bank--
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to beg, doubtless."
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No more was said on the subject until the next day, when Mr. Bulstrode
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had returned from the town and was dressing for dinner. His wife,
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not sure that he was come home, looked into his dressing-room
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and saw him with his coat and cravat off, leaning one arm
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on a chest of drawers and staring absently at the ground.
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He started nervously and looked up as she entered.
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"You look very ill, Nicholas. Is there anything the matter?"
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"I have a good deal of pain in my head," said Mr. Bulstrode,
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who was so frequently ailing that his wife was always ready
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to believe in this cause of depression.
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"Sit down and let me sponge it with vinegar."
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Physically Mr. Bulstrode did not want the vinegar, but morally
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the affectionate attention soothed him. Though always polite,
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it was his habit to receive such services with marital coolness,
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as his wife's duty. But to-day, while she was bending over him,
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he said, "You are very good, Harriet," in a tone which had something
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new in it to her ear; she did not know exactly what the novelty was,
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but her woman's solicitude shaped itself into a darting thought that he
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might be going to have an illness.
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"Has anything worried you?" she said. "Did that man come to you
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at the Bank?"
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"Yes; it was as I had supposed. He is a man who at one time might
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have done better. But he has sunk into a drunken debauched creature."
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"Is he quite gone away?" said Mrs. Bulstrode, anxiously but for
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certain reasons she refrained from adding, "It was very disagreeable
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to hear him calling himself a friend of yours." At that moment she
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would not have liked to say anything which implied her habitual
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consciousness that her husband's earlier connections were not quite
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on a level with her own. Not that she knew much about them.
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That her husband had at first been employed in a bank, that he
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had afterwards entered into what he called city business and gained
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a fortune before he was three-and-thirty, that he had married
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a widow who was much older than himself--a Dissenter, and in other
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ways probably of that disadvantageous quality usually perceptible
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in a first wife if inquired into with the dispassionate judgment
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of a second--was almost as much as she had cared to learn beyond
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the glimpses which Mr. Bulstrode's narrative occasionally gave of
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his early bent towards religion, his inclination to be a preacher,
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and his association with missionary and philanthropic efforts.
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She believed in him as an excellent man whose piety carried
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a peculiar eminence in belonging to a layman, whose influence
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had turned her own mind toward seriousness, and whose share of
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perishable good had been the means of raising her own position.
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But she also liked to think that it was well in every sense
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for Mr. Bulstrode to have won the hand of Harriet Vincy;
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whose family was undeniable in a Middlemarch light--a better light
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surely than any thrown in London thoroughfares or dissenting
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chapel-yards. The unreformed provincial mind distrusted London;
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and while true religion was everywhere saving, honest Mrs. Bulstrode
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was convinced that to be saved in the Church was more respectable.
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She so much wished to ignore towards others that her husband
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had ever been a London Dissenter, that she liked to keep it out
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of sight even in talking to him. He was quite aware of this;
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indeed in some respects he was rather afraid of this ingenuous wife,
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whose imitative piety and native worldliness were equally sincere,
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who had nothing to be ashamed of, and whom he had married out of
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a thorough inclination still subsisting. But his fears were such
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as belong to a man who cares to maintain his recognized supremacy:
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the loss of high consideration from his wife, as from every one
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else who did not clearly hate him out of enmity to the truth,
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would be as the beginning of death to him. When she said--
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"Is he quite gone away?"
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"Oh, I trust so," he answered, with an effort to throw as much
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sober unconcern into his tone as possible!
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But in truth Mr. Bulstrode was very far from a state of quiet trust.
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In the interview at the Bank, Raffles had made it evident that his
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eagerness to torment was almost as strong in him as any other greed.
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He had frankly said that he had turned out of the way to come
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to Middlemarch, just to look about him and see whether the neighborhood
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would suit him to live in. He had certainly had a few debts to pay
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more than he expected, but the two hundred pounds were not gone yet:
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a cool five-and-twenty would suffice him to go away with for the present.
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What he had wanted chiefly was to see his friend Nick and family,
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and know all about the prosperity of a man to whom he was so
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much attached. By-and-by he might come back for a longer stay.
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This time Raffles declined to be "seen off the premises," as he
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expressed it--declined to quit Middlemarch under Bulstrode's eyes.
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He meant to go by coach the next day--if he chose.
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Bulstrode felt himself helpless. Neither threats nor coaxing
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could avail: he could not count on any persistent fear nor on
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any promise. On the contrary, he felt a cold certainty at his
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heart that Raffles--unless providence sent death to hinder him--
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would come back to Middlemarch before long. And that certainty
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was a terror.
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It was not that he was in danger of legal punishment or of beggary:
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he was in danger only of seeing disclosed to the judgment of his
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neighbors and the mournful perception of his wife certain facts of his
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past life which would render him an object of scorn and an opprobrium
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of the religion with which he had diligently associated himself.
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The terror of being judged sharpens the memory: it sends an inevitable
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glare over that long-unvisited past which has been habitually
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recalled only in general phrases. Even without memory, the life
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is bound into one by a zone of dependence in growth and decay;
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but intense memory forces a man to own his blameworthy past.
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With memory set smarting like a reopened wound, a man's past is
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not simply a dead history, an outworn preparation of the present:
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it is not a repented error shaken loose from the life: it is a still
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quivering part of himself, bringing shudders and bitter flavors and
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the tinglings of a merited shame.
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Into this second life Bulstrode's past had now risen, only the
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pleasures of it seeming to have lost their quality. Night and day,
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without interruption save of brief sleep which only wove retrospect
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and fear into a fantastic present, he felt the scenes of his earlier
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life coming between him and everything else, as obstinately as when we
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look through the window from a lighted room, the objects we turn
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our backs on are still before us, instead of the grass and the trees
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The successive events inward and outward were there in one view:
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though each might be dwelt on in turn, the rest still kept their
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hold in the consciousness.
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Once more he saw himself the young banker's clerk, with an
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agreeable person, as clever in figures as he was fluent in speech
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and fond of theological definition: an eminent though young member
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of a Calvinistic dissenting church at Highbury, having had striking
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experience in conviction of sin and sense of pardon. Again he
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heard himself called for as Brother Bulstrode in prayer meetings,
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speaking on religious platforms, preaching in private houses.
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Again he felt himself thinking of the ministry as possibly his vocation,
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and inclined towards missionary labor. That was the happiest time
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of his life: that was the spot he would have chosen now to awake
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in and find the rest a dream. The people among whom Brother
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Bulstrode was distinguished were very few, but they were very near
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to him, and stirred his satisfaction the more; his power stretched
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through a narrow space, but he felt its effect the more intensely.
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He believed without effort in the peculiar work of grace within him,
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and in the signs that God intended him for special instrumentality.
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Then came the moment of transition; it was with the sense of promotion
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he had when he, an orphan educated at a commercial charity-school,
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was invited to a fine villa belonging to Mr. Dunkirk, the richest man
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in the congregation. Soon he became an intimate there, honored for
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his piety by the wife, marked out for his ability by the husband,
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whose wealth was due to a flourishing city and west-end trade.
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That was the setting-in of a new current for his ambition,
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directing his prospects of "instrumentality" towards the uniting
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of distinguished religious gifts with successful business.
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By-and-by came a decided external leading: a confidential subordinate
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partner died, and nobody seemed to the principal so well fitted
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to fill the severely felt vacancy as his young friend Bulstrode,
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if he would become confidential accountant. The offer was accepted.
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The business was a pawnbroker's, of the most magnificent sort both
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in extent and profits; and on a short acquaintance with it Bulstrode
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became aware that one source of magnificent profit was the easy
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reception of any goods offered, without strict inquiry as to where
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they came from. But there was a branch house at the west end,
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and no pettiness or dinginess to give suggestions of shame.
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He remembered his first moments of shrinking. They were private,
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and were filled with arguments; some of these taking the form
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of prayer. The business was established and had old roots;
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is it not one thing to set up a new gin-palace and another to accept
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an investment in an old one? The profits made out of lost souls--
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where can the line be drawn at which they begin in human transactions?
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Was it not even God's way of saving His chosen? "Thou knowest,"--
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the young Bulstrode had said then, as the older Bulstrode was saying now--
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"Thou knowest how loose my soul sits from these things--how I view
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them all as implements for tilling Thy garden rescued here and there
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from the wilderness."
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Metaphors and precedents were not wanting; peculiar spiritual
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experiences were not wanting which at last made the retention
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of his position seem a service demanded of him: the vista of
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a fortune had already opened itself, and Bulstrode's shrinking
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remained private. Mr. Dunkirk had never expected that there
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would be any shrinking at all: he had never conceived that trade
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had anything to do with the scheme of salvation. And it was true
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that Bulstrode found himself carrying on two distinct lives;
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his religious activity could not be incompatible with his business
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as soon as he had argued himself into not feeling it incompatible.
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Mentally surrounded with that past again, Bulstrode had the
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same pleas--indeed, the years had been perpetually spinning them
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into intricate thickness, like masses of spider-web, padding
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the moral sensibility; nay, as age made egoism more eager but
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less enjoying, his soul had become more saturated with the belief
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that he did everything for God's sake, being indifferent to it
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for his own. And yet--if he could be back in that far-off spot
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with his youthful poverty--why, then he would choose to be a missionary.
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But the train of causes in which he had locked himself went on.
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There was trouble in the fine villa at Highbury. Years before,
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the only daughter had run away, defied her parents, and gone on the stage;
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and now the only boy died, and after a short time Mr. Dunkirk died also.
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The wife, a simple pious woman, left with all the wealth in and out
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of the magnificent trade, of which she never knew the precise nature,
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had come to believe in Bulstrode, and innocently adore him as women
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often adore their priest or "man-made" minister. It was natural
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that after a time marriage should have been thought of between them.
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But Mrs. Dunkirk had qualms and yearnings about her daughter,
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who had long been regarded as lost both to God and her parents.
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It was known that the daughter had married, but she was utterly
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gone out of sight. The mother, having lost her boy, imagined
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a grandson, and wished in a double sense to reclaim her daughter.
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If she were found, there would be a channel for property--
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perhaps a wide one--in the provision for several grandchildren.
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Efforts to find her must be made before Mrs. Dunkirk would marry again.
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Bulstrode concurred; but after advertisement as well as other modes
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of inquiry had been tried, the mother believed that her daughter
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was not to be found, and consented to marry without reservation
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of property.
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The daughter had been found; but only one man besides Bulstrode knew it,
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and he was paid for keeping silence and carrying himself away.
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That was the bare fact which Bulstrode was now forced to see in
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the rigid outline with which acts present themselves onlookers.
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But for himself at that distant time, and even now in burning memory,
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the fact was broken into little sequences, each justified as it came
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by reasonings which seemed to prove it righteous. Bulstrode's course up
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to that time had, he thought, been sanctioned by remarkable providences,
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appearing to point the way for him to be the agent in making the
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best use of a large property and withdrawing it from perversion.
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Death and other striking dispositions, such as feminine trustfulness,
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had come; and Bulstrode would have adopted Cromwell's words--
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"Do you call these bare events? The Lord pity you!" The events
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were comparatively small, but the essential condition was there--
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namely, that they were in favor of his own ends. It was easy
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for him to settle what was due from him to others by inquiring
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what were God's intentions with regard to himself. Could it be
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for God's service that this fortune should in any considerable
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proportion go to a young woman and her husband who were given up
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to the lightest pursuits, and might scatter it abroad in triviality--
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people who seemed to lie outside the path of remarkable providences?
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Bulstrode had never said to himself beforehand, "The daughter
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shall not be found"--nevertheless when the moment came he kept
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her existence hidden; and when other moments followed, he soothed
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the mother with consolation in the probability that the unhappy
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young woman might be no more.
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There were hours in which Bulstrode felt that his action
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was unrighteous; but how could he go back? He had mental exercises,
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called himself nought laid hold on redemption, and went on in his
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course of instrumentality. And after five years Death again came
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to widen his path, by taking away his wife. He did gradually
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withdraw his capital, but he did not make the sacrifices requisite
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to put an end to the business, which was carried on for thirteen
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years afterwards before it finally collapsed. Meanwhile Nicholas
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Bulstrode had used his hundred thousand discreetly, and was
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become provincially, solidly important--a banker, a Churchman,
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a public benefactor; also a sleeping partner in trading concerns,
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in which his ability was directed to economy in the raw material,
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as in the case of the dyes which rotted Mr. Vincy's silk. And now,
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when this respectability had lasted undisturbed for nearly thirty years--
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when all that preceded it had long lain benumbed in the consciousness--
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that past had risen and immersed his thought as if with the terrible
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irruption of a new sense overburthening the feeble being.
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Meanwhile, in his conversation with Raffles, he had learned
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something momentous, something which entered actively into
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the struggle of his longings and terrors. There, he thought,
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lay an opening towards spiritual, perhaps towards material rescue.
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The spiritual kind of rescue was a genuine need with him. There may
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be coarse hypocrites, who consciously affect beliefs and emotions
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for the sake of gulling the world, but Bulstrode was not one of them.
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He was simply a man whose desires had been stronger than his
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theoretic beliefs, and who had gradually explained the gratification
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of his desires into satisfactory agreement with those beliefs.
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If this be hypocrisy, it is a process which shows itself occasionally
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in us all, to whatever confession we belong, and whether we
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believe in the future perfection of our race or in the nearest
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date fixed for the end of the world; whether we regard the earth
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as a putrefying nidus for a saved remnant, including ourselves,
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or have a passionate belief in the solidarity of mankind.
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The service he could do to the cause of religion had been through
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life the ground he alleged to himself for his choice of action:
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it had been the motive which he had poured out in his prayers.
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Who would use money and position better than he meant to use them?
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Who could surpass him in self-abhorrence and exaltation of God's cause?
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And to Mr. Bulstrode God's cause was something distinct from his own
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rectitude of conduct: it enforced a discrimination of God's enemies,
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who were to be used merely as instruments, and whom it would be
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as well if possible to keep out of money and consequent influence.
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Also, profitable investments in trades where the power of the prince
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of this world showed its most active devices, became sanctified by a
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right application of the profits in the hands of God's servant.
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This implicit reasoning is essentially no more peculiar to evangelical
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belief than the use of wide phrases for narrow motives is peculiar
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to Englishmen. There is no general doctrine which is not capable
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of eating out our morality if unchecked by the deep-seated habit
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of direct fellow-feeling with individual fellow-men.
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But a man who believes in something else than his own greed,
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has necessarily a conscience or standard to which he more or less
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adapts himself. Bulstrode's standard had been his serviceableness
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to God's cause: "I am sinful and nought--a vessel to be consecrated
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by use--but use me!"--had been the mould into which he had constrained
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his immense need of being something important and predominating.
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And now had come a moment in which that mould seemed in danger
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of being broken and utterly cast away.
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What if the acts he had reconciled himself to because they made
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him a stronger instrument of the divine glory, were to become
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the pretext of the scoffer, and a darkening of that glory?
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If this were to be the ruling of Providence, he was cast out from
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the temple as one who had brought unclean offerings.
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He had long poured out utterances of repentance. But today a
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repentance had come which was of a bitterer flavor, and a threatening
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Providence urged him to a kind of propitiation which was not simply
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a doctrinal transaction. The divine tribunal had changed its
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aspect for him; self-prostration was no longer enough, and he must
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bring restitution in his hand. It was really before his God that
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Bulstrode was about to attempt such restitution as seemed possible:
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a great dread had seized his susceptible frame, and the scorching
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approach of shame wrought in him a new spiritual need. Night and day,
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while the resurgent threatening past was making a conscience within him,
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he was thinking by what means he could recover peace and trust--
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by what sacrifice he could stay the rod. His belief in these
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moments of dread was, that if he spontaneously did something right,
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God would save him from the consequences of wrong-doing. For religion
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can only change when the emotions which fill it are changed; and the
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religion of personal fear remains nearly at the level of the savage.
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He had seen Raffles actually going away on the Brassing coach,
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and this was a temporary relief; it removed the pressure of an
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immediate dread, but did not put an end to the spiritual conflict and
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the need to win protection. At last he came to a difficult resolve,
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and wrote a letter to Will Ladislaw, begging him to be at the
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Shrubs that evening for a private interview at nine o'clock. Will
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had felt no particular surprise at the request, and connected it
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with some new notions about the "Pioneer;" but when he was shown
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into Mr. Bulstrode's private room, he was struck with the painfully
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worn look on the banker's face, and was going to say, "Are you ill?"
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when, checking himself in that abruptness, he only inquired after
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Mrs. Bulstrode, and her satisfaction with the picture bought for her.
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"Thank you, she is quite satisfied; she has gone out with her daughters
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this evening. I begged you to come, Mr. Ladislaw, because I have
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a communication of a very private--indeed, I will say, of a sacredly
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confidential nature, which I desire to make to you. Nothing, I dare say,
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has been farther from your thoughts than that there had been
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important ties in the past which could connect your history with mine."
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Will felt something like an electric shock. He was already in a state
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of keen sensitiveness and hardly allayed agitation on the subject
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of ties in the past, and his presentiments were not agreeable.
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It seemed like the fluctuations of a dream--as if the action begun
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by that loud bloated stranger were being carried on by this pale-eyed
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sickly looking piece of respectability, whose subdued tone and glib
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formality of speech were at this moment almost as repulsive to him
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as their remembered contrast. He answered, with a marked change
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of color--
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"No, indeed, nothing."
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"You see before you, Mr. Ladislaw, a man who is deeply stricken.
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But for the urgency of conscience and the knowledge that I am
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before the bar of One who seeth not as man seeth, I should be under
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no compulsion to make the disclosure which has been my object
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in asking you to come here to-night. So far as human laws go,
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you have no claim on me whatever."
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Will was even more uncomfortable than wondering. Mr. Bulstrode
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had paused, leaning his head on his hand, and looking at the floor.
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But he now fixed his examining glance on Will and said--
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"I am told that your mother's name was Sarah Dunkirk, and that she
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|
ran away from her friends to go on the stage. Also, that your
|
|
father was at one time much emaciated by illness. May I ask
|
|
if you can confirm these statements?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, they are all true," said Will, struck with the order in which
|
|
an inquiry had come, that might have been expected to be preliminary
|
|
to the banker's previous hints. But Mr. Bulstrode had to-night followed
|
|
the order of his emotions; he entertained no doubt that the opportunity
|
|
for restitution had come, and he had an overpowering impulse towards
|
|
the penitential expression by which he was deprecating chastisement.
|
|
|
|
"Do you know any particulars of your mother's family?" he continued.
|
|
|
|
"No; she never liked to speak of them. She was a very generous,
|
|
honorable woman," said Will, almost angrily.
|
|
|
|
"I do not wish to allege anything against her. Did she never mention
|
|
her mother to you at all?"
|
|
|
|
"I have heard her say that she thought her mother did not know the
|
|
reason of her running away. She said `poor mother' in a pitying tone."
|
|
|
|
"That mother became my wife," said Bulstrode, and then paused a
|
|
moment before he added, "you have a claim on me, Mr. Ladislaw: as I
|
|
said before, not a legal claim, but one which my conscience recognizes.
|
|
I was enriched by that marriage--a result which would probably
|
|
not have taken place--certainly not to the same extent--if your
|
|
grandmother could have discovered her daughter. That daughter,
|
|
I gather, is no longer living!"
|
|
|
|
"No," said Will, feeling suspicion and repugnance rising so strongly
|
|
within him, that without quite knowing what he did, he took his hat
|
|
from the floor and stood up. The impulse within him was to reject
|
|
the disclosed connection.
|
|
|
|
"Pray be seated, Mr. Ladislaw," said Bulstrode, anxiously.
|
|
"Doubtless you are startled by the suddenness of this discovery.
|
|
But I entreat your patience with one who is already bowed down
|
|
by inward trial."
|
|
|
|
Will reseated himself, feeling some pity which was half contempt
|
|
for this voluntary self-abasement of an elderly man.
|
|
|
|
"It is my wish, Mr. Ladislaw, to make amends for the deprivation
|
|
which befell your mother. I know that you are without fortune,
|
|
and I wish to supply you adequately from a store which would have
|
|
probably already been yours had your grandmother been certain
|
|
of your mother's existence and been able to find her."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode paused. He felt that he was performing a striking piece
|
|
of scrupulosity in the judgment of his auditor, and a penitential
|
|
act in the eyes of God. He had no clew to the state of Will
|
|
Ladislaw's mind, smarting as it was from the clear hints of Raffles,
|
|
and with its natural quickness in construction stimulated by the
|
|
expectation of discoveries which he would have been glad to conjure
|
|
back into darkness. Will made no answer for several moments,
|
|
till Mr. Bulstrode, who at the end of his speech had cast his
|
|
eyes on the floor, now raised them with an examining glance,
|
|
which Will met fully, saying--
|
|
|
|
"I suppose you did know of my mother's existence, and knew where she
|
|
might have been found."
|
|
|
|
Bulstrode shrank--there was a visible quivering in his face and hands.
|
|
He was totally unprepared to have his advances met in this way,
|
|
or to find himself urged into more revelation than he had beforehand
|
|
set down as needful. But at that moment he dared not tell a lie,
|
|
and he felt suddenly uncertain of his ground which he had trodden
|
|
with some confidence before.
|
|
|
|
"I will not deny that you conjecture rightly," he answered,
|
|
with a faltering in his tone. "And I wish to make atonement to you
|
|
as the one still remaining who has suffered a loss through me.
|
|
You enter, I trust, into my purpose, Mr. Ladislaw, which has a reference
|
|
to higher than merely human claims, and as I have already said,
|
|
is entirely independent of any legal compulsion. I am ready to
|
|
narrow my own resources and the prospects of my family by binding
|
|
myself to allow you five hundred pounds yearly during my life,
|
|
and to leave you a proportional capital at my death--nay, to do
|
|
still more, if more should be definitely necessary to any laudable
|
|
project on your part." Mr. Bulstrode had gone on to particulars
|
|
in the expectation that these would work strongly on Ladislaw,
|
|
and merge other feelings in grateful acceptance.
|
|
|
|
But Will was looking as stubborn as possible, with his lip pouting
|
|
and his fingers in his side-pockets. He was not in the least touched,
|
|
and said firmly,--
|
|
|
|
"Before I make any reply to your proposition, Mr. Bulstrode, I must
|
|
beg you to answer a question or two. Were you connected with the
|
|
business by which that fortune you speak of was originally made?"
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode's thought was, "Raffles has told him." How could he
|
|
refuse to answer when he had volunteered what drew forth the question?
|
|
He answered, "Yes."
|
|
|
|
"And was that business--or was it not--a thoroughly dishonorable one--
|
|
nay, one that, if its nature had been made public, might have
|
|
ranked those concerned in it with thieves and convicts?"
|
|
|
|
Will's tone had a cutting bitterness: he was moved to put his
|
|
question as nakedly as he could.
|
|
|
|
Bulstrode reddened with irrepressible anger. He had been prepared
|
|
for a scene of self-abasement, but his intense pride and his habit
|
|
of supremacy overpowered penitence, and even dread, when this young man,
|
|
whom he had meant to benefit, turned on him with the air of a judge.
|
|
|
|
"The business was established before I became connected with it,
|
|
sir; nor is it for you to institute an inquiry of that kind,"
|
|
he answered, not raising his voice, but speaking with quick defiantness.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, it is," said Will, starting up again with his hat in his hand.
|
|
"It is eminently mine to ask such questions, when I have to decide
|
|
whether I will have transactions with you and accept your money.
|
|
My unblemished honor is important to me. It is important to me
|
|
to have no stain on my birth and connections. And now I find there
|
|
is a stain which I can't help. My mother felt it, and tried
|
|
to keep as clear of it as she could, and so will I. You shall keep
|
|
your ill-gotten money. If I had any fortune of my own, I would
|
|
willingly pay it to any one who could disprove what you have told me.
|
|
What I have to thank you for is that you kept the money till now,
|
|
when I can refuse it. It ought to lie with a man's self that he is
|
|
a gentleman. Good-night, sir."
|
|
|
|
Bulstrode was going to speak, but Will, with determined quickness,
|
|
was out of the room in an instant, and in another the hall-door had
|
|
closed behind him. He was too strongly possessed with passionate
|
|
rebellion against this inherited blot which had been thrust on his
|
|
knowledge to reflect at present whether he had not been too hard
|
|
on Bulstrode--too arrogantly merciless towards a man of sixty,
|
|
who was making efforts at retrieval when time had rendered them vain.
|
|
|
|
No third person listening could have thoroughly understood the
|
|
impetuosity of Will's repulse or the bitterness of his words.
|
|
No one but himself then knew how everything connected with the
|
|
sentiment of his own dignity had an immediate bearing for him on
|
|
his relation to Dorothea and to Mr. Casaubon's treatment of him.
|
|
And in the rush of impulses by which he flung back that offer
|
|
of Bulstrode's there was mingled the sense that it would have been
|
|
impossible for him ever to tell Dorothea that he had accepted it.
|
|
|
|
As for Bulstrode--when Will was gone he suffered a violent reaction,
|
|
and wept like a woman. It was the first time he had encountered
|
|
an open expression of scorn from any man higher than Raffles;
|
|
and with that scorn hurrying like venom through his system,
|
|
there was no sensibility left to consolations. Rut the relief
|
|
of weeping had to be checked. His wife and daughters soon came
|
|
home from hearing the address of an Oriental missionary, and were
|
|
full of regret that papa had not heard, in the first instance,
|
|
the interesting things which they tried to repeat to him.
|
|
|
|
Perhaps, through all other hidden thoughts, the one that breathed
|
|
most comfort was, that Will Ladislaw at least was not likely
|
|
to publish what had taken place that evening.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"He was a squyer of lowe degre,
|
|
That loved the king's daughter of Hungrie.
|
|
--Old Romance.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Will Ladislaw's mind was now wholly bent on seeing Dorothea again,
|
|
and forthwith quitting Middlemarch. The morning after his agitating
|
|
scene with Bulstrode he wrote a brief letter to her, saying that
|
|
various causes had detained him in the neighborhood longer than he
|
|
had expected, and asking her permission to call again at Lowick
|
|
at some hour which she would mention on the earliest possible day,
|
|
he being anxious to depart, but unwilling to do so until she
|
|
had granted him an interview. He left the letter at the office,
|
|
ordering the messenger to carry it to Lowick Manor, and wait for
|
|
an answer.
|
|
|
|
Ladislaw felt the awkwardness of asking for more last words.
|
|
His former farewell had been made in the hearing of Sir James Chettam,
|
|
and had been announced as final even to the butler. It is certainly
|
|
trying to a man's dignity to reappear when he is not expected to do so:
|
|
a first farewell has pathos in it, but to come back for a second
|
|
lends an opening to comedy, and it was possible even that there
|
|
might be bitter sneers afloat about Will's motives for lingering.
|
|
Still it was on the whole more satisfactory to his feeling to take
|
|
the directest means of seeing Dorothea, than to use any device
|
|
which might give an air of chance to a meeting of which he
|
|
wished her to understand that it was what he earnestly sought.
|
|
When he had parted from her before, he had been in ignorance
|
|
of facts which gave a new aspect to the relation between them,
|
|
and made a more absolute severance than he had then believed in.
|
|
He knew nothing of Dorothea's private fortune, and being
|
|
little used to reflect on such matters, took it for granted
|
|
that according to Mr. Casaubon's arrangement marriage to him,
|
|
Will Ladislaw, would mean that she consented to be penniless.
|
|
That was not what he could wish for even in his secret heart,
|
|
or even if she had been ready to meet such hard contrast for his sake.
|
|
And then, too, there was the fresh smart of that disclosure about
|
|
his mother's family, which if known would be an added reason why
|
|
Dorothea's friends should look down upon him as utterly below her.
|
|
The secret hope that after some years he might come back with the
|
|
sense that he had at least a personal value equal to her wealth,
|
|
seemed now the dreamy continuation of a dream. This change would surely
|
|
justify him in asking Dorothea to receive him once more.
|
|
|
|
But Dorothea on that morning was not at home to receive Will's note.
|
|
In consequence of a letter from her uncle announcing his intention
|
|
to be at home in a week, she had driven first to Freshitt to carry
|
|
the news, meaning to go on to the Grange to deliver some orders
|
|
with which her uncle had intrusted her--thinking, as he said,
|
|
"a little mental occupation of this sort good for a widow."
|
|
|
|
If Will Ladislaw could have overheard some of the talk at Freshitt
|
|
that morning, he would have felt all his suppositions confirmed
|
|
as to the readiness of certain people to sneer at his lingering
|
|
in the neighborhood. Sir James, indeed, though much relieved
|
|
concerning Dorothea, had been on the watch to learn Ladislaw's movements,
|
|
and had an instructed informant in Mr. Standish, who was necessarily
|
|
in his confidence on this matter. That Ladislaw had stayed in
|
|
Middlemarch nearly two months after he had declared that he was
|
|
going immediately, was a fact to embitter Sir James's suspicions,
|
|
or at least to justify his aversion to a "young fellow" whom he
|
|
represented to himself as slight, volatile, and likely enough to show
|
|
such recklessness as naturally went along with a position unriveted
|
|
by family ties or a strict profession. But he had just heard something
|
|
from Standish which, while it justified these surmises about Will,
|
|
offered a means of nullifying all danger with regard to Dorothea.
|
|
|
|
Unwonted circumstances may make us all rather unlike ourselves:
|
|
there are conditions under which the most majestic person is obliged
|
|
to sneeze, and our emotions are liable to be acted on in the same
|
|
incongruous manner. Good Sir James was this morning so far unlike
|
|
himself that he was irritably anxious to say something to Dorothea
|
|
on a subject which he usually avoided as if it had been a matter
|
|
of shame to them both. He could not use Celia as a medium,
|
|
because he did not choose that she should know the kind of gossip
|
|
he had in his mind; and before Dorothea happened to arrive he had
|
|
been trying to imagine how, with his shyness and unready tongue,
|
|
he could ever manage to introduce his communication. Her unexpected
|
|
presence brought him to utter hopelessness in his own power of
|
|
saying anything unpleasant; but desperation suggested a resource;
|
|
he sent the groom on an unsaddled horse across the park with a
|
|
pencilled note to Mrs. Cadwallader, who already knew the gossip,
|
|
and would think it no compromise of herself to repeat it as often
|
|
as required.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea was detained on the good pretext that Mr. Garth,
|
|
whom she wanted to see, was expected at the hall within the hour,
|
|
and she was still talking to Caleb on the gravel when Sir James,
|
|
on the watch for the rector's wife, saw her coming and met her
|
|
with the needful hints.
|
|
|
|
"Enough! I understand,"--said Mrs. Cadwallader. "You shall
|
|
be innocent. I am such a blackamoor that I cannot smirch myself."
|
|
|
|
"I don't mean that it's of any consequence," said Sir James,
|
|
disliking that Mrs. Cadwallader should understand too much.
|
|
"Only it is desirable that Dorothea should know there are reasons why
|
|
she should not receive him again; and I really can't say so to her.
|
|
It will come lightly from you."
|
|
|
|
It came very lightly indeed. When Dorothea quitted Caleb and
|
|
turned to meet them, it appeared that Mrs. Cadwallader had stepped
|
|
across the park by the merest chance in the world, just to chat
|
|
with Celia in a matronly way about the baby. And so Mr. Brooke
|
|
was coming back? Delightful!--coming back, it was to be hoped,
|
|
quite cured of Parliamentary fever and pioneering. Apropos
|
|
of the "Pioneer"--somebody had prophesied that it would soon
|
|
be like a dying dolphin, and turn all colors for want of knowing
|
|
how to help itself, because Mr. Brooke's protege, the brilliant
|
|
young Ladislaw, was gone or going. Had Sir James heard that?
|
|
|
|
The three were walking along the gravel slowly, and Sir James,
|
|
turning aside to whip a shrub, said he had heard something of that sort.
|
|
|
|
"All false!" said Mrs. Cadwallader. "He is not gone, or going,
|
|
apparently; the `Pioneer' keeps its color, and Mr. Orlando Ladislaw
|
|
is making a sad dark-blue scandal by warbling continually with your
|
|
Mr. Lydgate's wife, who they tell me is as pretty as pretty can be.
|
|
It seems nobody ever goes into the house without finding this
|
|
young gentleman lying on the rug or warbling at the piano.
|
|
But the people in manufacturing towns are always disreputable."
|
|
|
|
"You began by saying that one report was false, Mrs. Cadwallader,
|
|
and I believe this is false too," said Dorothea, with indignant energy;
|
|
"at least, I feel sure it is a misrepresentation. I will not hear
|
|
any evil spoken of Mr. Ladislaw; he has already suffered too
|
|
much injustice."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea when thoroughly moved cared little what any one thought
|
|
of her feelings; and even if she had been able to reflect, she would
|
|
have held it petty to keep silence at injurious words about Will
|
|
from fear of being herself misunderstood. Her face was flushed
|
|
and her lip trembled.
|
|
|
|
Sir James, glancing at her, repented of his stratagem;
|
|
but Mrs. Cadwallader, equal to all occasions, spread the palms
|
|
of her hands outward and said--"Heaven grant it, my dear!--I mean
|
|
that all bad tales about anybody may be false. But it is a pity that
|
|
young Lydgate should have married one of these Middlemarch girls.
|
|
Considering he's a son of somebody, he might have got a woman
|
|
with good blood in her veins, and not too young, who would have put
|
|
up with his profession. There's Clara Harfager, for instance,
|
|
whose friends don't know what to do with her; and she has a portion.
|
|
Then we might have had her among us. However!--it's no use
|
|
being wise for other people. Where is Celia? Pray let us go in."
|
|
|
|
"I am going on immediately to Tipton," said Dorothea, rather haughtily.
|
|
"Good-by."
|
|
|
|
Sir James could say nothing as he accompanied her to the carriage.
|
|
He was altogether discontented with the result of a contrivance
|
|
which had cost him some secret humiliation beforehand.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea drove along between the berried hedgerows and the shorn
|
|
corn-fields, not seeing or hearing anything around. The tears
|
|
came and rolled down her cheeks, but she did not know it.
|
|
The world, it seemed, was turning ugly and hateful, and there was
|
|
no place for her trustfulness. "It is not true--it is not true!"
|
|
was the voice within her that she listened to; but all the while
|
|
a remembrance to which there had always clung a vague uneasiness
|
|
would thrust itself on her attention--the remembrance of that day
|
|
when she had found Will Ladislaw with Mrs. Lydgate, and had heard
|
|
his voice accompanied by the piano.
|
|
|
|
"He said he would never do anything that I disapproved--I wish I
|
|
could have told him that I disapproved of that," said poor Dorothea,
|
|
inwardly, feeling a strange alternation between anger with Will
|
|
and the passionate defence of him. "They all try to blacken him
|
|
before me; but I will care for no pain, if he is not to blame.
|
|
I always believed he was good."--These were her last thoughts
|
|
before she felt that the carriage was passing under the archway
|
|
of the lodge-gate at the Grange, when she hurriedly pressed
|
|
her handkerchief to her face and began to think of her errands.
|
|
The coachman begged leave to take out the horses for half an hour
|
|
as there was something wrong with a shoe; and Dorothea, having the
|
|
sense that she was going to rest, took off her gloves and bonnet,
|
|
while she was leaning against a statue in the entrance-hall,
|
|
and talking to the housekeeper. At last she said--
|
|
|
|
"I must stay here a little, Mrs. Kell. I will go into the library
|
|
and write you some memoranda from my uncle's letter, if you will
|
|
open the shutters for me."
|
|
|
|
"The shutters are open, madam," said Mrs. Kell, following Dorothea,
|
|
who had walked along as she spoke. "Mr. Ladislaw is there,
|
|
looking for something."
|
|
|
|
(Will had come to fetch a portfolio of his own sketches which he
|
|
had missed in the act of packing his movables, and did not choose
|
|
to leave behind.)
|
|
|
|
Dorothea's heart seemed to turn over as if it had had a blow,
|
|
but she was not perceptibly checked: in truth, the sense that Will
|
|
was there was for the moment all-satisfying to her, like the sight
|
|
of something precious that one has lost. When she reached the door
|
|
she said to Mrs. Kell--
|
|
|
|
"Go in first, and tell him that I am here."
|
|
|
|
Will had found his portfolio, and had laid it on the table at the
|
|
far end of the room, to turn over the sketches and please himself
|
|
by looking at the memorable piece of art which had a relation
|
|
to nature too mysterious for Dorothea. He was smiling at it still,
|
|
and shaking the sketches into order with the thought that he might
|
|
find a letter from her awaiting him at Middlemarch, when Mrs. Kell
|
|
close to his elbow said--
|
|
|
|
"Mrs. Casaubon is coming in, sir."
|
|
|
|
Will turned round quickly, and the next moment Dorothea was entering.
|
|
As Mrs. Kell closed the door behind her they met: each was looking
|
|
at the other, and consciousness was overflowed by something that
|
|
suppressed utterance. It was not confusion that kept them silent,
|
|
for they both felt that parting was near, and there is no shamefacedness
|
|
in a sad parting.
|
|
|
|
She moved automatically towards her uncle's chair against the
|
|
writing-table, and Will, after drawing it out a little for her,
|
|
went a few paces off and stood opposite to her.
|
|
|
|
"Pray sit down," said Dorothea, crossing her hands on her lap;
|
|
"I am very glad you were here." Will thought that her face looked
|
|
just as it did when she first shook hands with him in Rome;
|
|
for her widow's cap, fixed in her bonnet, had gone off with it,
|
|
and he could see that she had lately been shedding tears. But the
|
|
mixture of anger in her agitation had vanished at the sight of him;
|
|
she had been used, when they were face to face, always to feel
|
|
confidence and the happy freedom which comes with mutual understanding,
|
|
and how could other people's words hinder that effect on a sudden?
|
|
Let the music which can take possession of our frame and fill the air
|
|
with joy for us, sound once more--what does it signify that we heard it
|
|
found fault with in its absence?
|
|
|
|
"I have sent a letter to Lowick Manor to-day, asking leave to
|
|
see you," said Will, seating himself opposite to her. "I am going
|
|
away immediately, and I could not go without speaking to you again."
|
|
|
|
"I thought we had parted when you came to Lowick many weeks ago--
|
|
you thought you were going then," said Dorothea, her voice trembling
|
|
a little.
|
|
|
|
"Yes; but I was in ignorance then of things which I know now--
|
|
things which have altered my feelings about the future. When I
|
|
saw you before, I was dreaming that I might come back some day.
|
|
I don't think I ever shall--now." Will paused here.
|
|
|
|
"You wished me to know the reasons?" said Dorothea, timidly.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Will, impetuously, shaking his head backward, and looking
|
|
away from her with irritation in his face. "Of course I must wish it.
|
|
I have been grossly insulted in your eyes and in the eyes of others.
|
|
There has been a mean implication against my character. I wish you
|
|
to know that under no circumstances would I have lowered myself by--
|
|
under no circumstances would I have given men the chance of saying
|
|
that I sought money under the pretext of seeking--something else.
|
|
There was no need of other safeguard against me--the safeguard of wealth
|
|
was enough."
|
|
|
|
Will rose from his chair with the last word and went--he hardly
|
|
knew where; but it was to the projecting window nearest him,
|
|
which had been open as now about the same season a year ago, when he
|
|
and Dorothea had stood within it and talked together. Her whole heart
|
|
was going out at this moment in sympathy with Will's indignation:
|
|
she only wanted to convince him that she had never done him injustice,
|
|
and he seemed to have turned away from her as if she too had been
|
|
part of the unfriendly world.
|
|
|
|
"It would be very unkind of you to suppose that I ever attributed
|
|
any meanness to you," she began. Then in her ardent way,
|
|
wanting to plead with him, she moved from her chair and went
|
|
in front of him to her old place in the window, saying, "Do you
|
|
suppose that I ever disbelieved in you?"
|
|
|
|
When Will saw her there, he gave a start and moved backward out
|
|
of the window, without meeting her glance. Dorothea was hurt
|
|
by this movement following up the previous anger of his tone.
|
|
She was ready to say that it was as hard on her as on him,
|
|
and that she was helpless; but those strange particulars of their
|
|
relation which neither of them could explicitly mention kept
|
|
her always in dread of saying too much. At this moment she had
|
|
no belief that Will would in any case have wanted to marry her,
|
|
and she feared using words which might imply such a belief.
|
|
She only said earnestly, recurring to his last word--
|
|
|
|
"I am sure no safeguard was ever needed against you."
|
|
|
|
Will did not answer. In the stormy fluctuation of his feelings these
|
|
words of hers seemed to him cruelly neutral, and he looked pale and
|
|
miserable after his angry outburst. He went to the table and fastened
|
|
up his portfolio, while Dorothea looked at him from the distance.
|
|
They were wasting these last moments together in wretched silence.
|
|
What could he say, since what had got obstinately uppermost in his
|
|
mind was the passionate love for her which he forbade himself
|
|
to utter? What could she say, since she might offer him no help--
|
|
since she was forced to keep the money that ought to have been his?--
|
|
since to-day he seemed not to respond as he used to do to her thorough
|
|
trust and liking?
|
|
|
|
But Will at last turned away from his portfolio and approached
|
|
the window again.
|
|
|
|
"I must go," he said, with that peculiar look of the eyes which
|
|
sometimes accompanies bitter feeling, as if they had been tired
|
|
and burned with gazing too close at a light.
|
|
|
|
"What shall you do in life?" said Dorothea, timidly. "Have your
|
|
intentions remained just the same as when we said good-by before?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Will, in a tone that seemed to waive the subject
|
|
as uninteresting. "I shall work away at the first thing that offers.
|
|
I suppose one gets a habit of doing without happiness or hope."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, what sad words!" said Dorothea, with a dangerous tendency to sob.
|
|
Then trying to smile, she added, "We used to agree that we were
|
|
alike in speaking too strongly."
|
|
|
|
"I have not spoken too strongly now," said Will, leaning back against
|
|
the angle of the wall. "There are certain things which a man can
|
|
only go through once in his life; and he must know some time or other
|
|
that the best is over with him. This experience has happened to me
|
|
while I am very young--that is all. What I care more for than I
|
|
can ever care for anything else is absolutely forbidden to me--
|
|
I don't mean merely by being out of my reach, but forbidden me,
|
|
even if it were within my reach, by my own pride and honor--
|
|
by everything I respect myself for. Of course I shall go on living
|
|
as a man might do who had seen heaven in a trance."
|
|
|
|
Will paused, imagining that it would be impossible for Dorothea
|
|
to misunderstand this; indeed he felt that he was contradicting
|
|
himself and offending against his self-approval in speaking
|
|
to her so plainly; but still--it could not be fairly called
|
|
wooing a woman to tell her that he would never woo her.
|
|
It must be admitted to be a ghostly kind of wooing.
|
|
|
|
But Dorothea's mind was rapidly going over the past with quite another
|
|
vision than his. The thought that she herself might be what Will
|
|
most cared for did throb through her an instant, but then came doubt:
|
|
the memory of the little they had lived through together turned pale
|
|
and shrank before the memory which suggested how much fuller might
|
|
have been the intercourse between Will and some one else with whom
|
|
he had had constant companionship. Everything he had said might
|
|
refer to that other relation, and whatever had passed between him
|
|
and herself was thoroughly explained by what she had always regarded
|
|
as their simple friendship and the cruel obstruction thrust upon it
|
|
by her husband's injurious act. Dorothea stood silent, with her
|
|
eyes cast down dreamily, while images crowded upon her which left
|
|
the sickening certainty that Will was referring to Mrs. Lydgate.
|
|
But why sickening? He wanted her to know that here too his conduct
|
|
should be above suspicion.
|
|
|
|
Will was not surprised at her silence. His mind also was tumultuously
|
|
busy while he watched her, and he was feeling rather wildly that something
|
|
must happen to hinder their parting--some miracle, clearly nothing
|
|
in their own deliberate speech. Yet, after all, had she any love
|
|
for him?--he could not pretend to himself that he would rather believe
|
|
her to be without that pain. He could not deny that a secret longing
|
|
for the assurance that she loved him was at the root of all his words.
|
|
|
|
Neither of them knew how long they stood in that way. Dorothea was
|
|
raising her eyes, and was about to speak, when the door opened
|
|
and her footman came to say--
|
|
|
|
"The horses are ready, madam, whenever you like to start."
|
|
|
|
"Presently," said Dorothea. Then turning to Will, she said,
|
|
"I have some memoranda to write for the housekeeper."
|
|
|
|
"I must go," said Will, when the door had closed again--advancing
|
|
towards her. "The day after to-morrow I shall leave Middlemarch."
|
|
|
|
"You have acted in every way rightly," said Dorothea, in a low tone,
|
|
feeling a pressure at her heart which made it difficult to speak.
|
|
|
|
She put out her hand, and Will took it for an instant with.
|
|
out speaking, for her words had seemed to him cruelly cold and
|
|
unlike herself. Their eyes met, but there was discontent in his,
|
|
and in hers there was only sadness. He turned away and took his
|
|
portfolio under his arm.
|
|
|
|
"I have never done you injustice. Please remember me," said Dorothea,
|
|
repressing a rising sob.
|
|
|
|
"Why should you say that?" said Will, with irritation. "As if I
|
|
were not in danger of forgetting everything else."
|
|
|
|
He had really a movement of anger against her at that moment, and it
|
|
impelled him to go away without pause. It was all one flash to Dorothea--
|
|
his last words--his distant bow to her as he reached the door--
|
|
the sense that he was no longer there. She sank into the chair,
|
|
and for a few moments sat like a statue, while images and emotions
|
|
were hurrying upon her. Joy came first, in spite of the threatening
|
|
train behind it--joy in the impression that it was really herself
|
|
whom Will loved and was renouncing, that there was really no other
|
|
love less permissible, more blameworthy, which honor was hurrying
|
|
him away from. They were parted all the same, but--Dorothea drew
|
|
a deep breath and felt her strength return--she could think of
|
|
him unrestrainedly. At that moment the parting was easy to bear:
|
|
the first sense of loving and being loved excluded sorrow. It was as
|
|
if some hard icy pressure had melted, and her consciousness had room
|
|
to expand: her past was come back to her with larger interpretation.
|
|
The joy was not the less--perhaps it was the more complete just then--
|
|
because of the irrevocable parting; for there was no reproach,
|
|
no contemptuous wonder to imagine in any eye or from any lips.
|
|
He had acted so as to defy reproach, and make wonder respectful.
|
|
|
|
Any one watching her might have seen that there was a fortifying
|
|
thought within her. Just as when inventive power is working
|
|
with glad ease some small claim on the attention is fully met
|
|
as if it were only a cranny opened to the sunlight, it was easy
|
|
now for Dorothea to write her memoranda. She spoke her last words
|
|
to the housekeeper in cheerful tones, and when she seated herself
|
|
in the carriage her eyes were bright and her cheeks blooming
|
|
under the dismal bonnet. She threw back the heavy "weepers,"
|
|
and looked before her, wondering which road Will had taken.
|
|
It was in her nature to be proud that he was blameless, and through
|
|
all her feelings there ran this vein--"I was right to defend him."
|
|
|
|
The coachman was used to drive his grays at a good pane, Mr. Casaubon
|
|
being unenjoying and impatient in everything away from his desk,
|
|
and wanting to get to the end of all journeys; and Dorothea
|
|
was now bowled along quickly. Driving was pleasant, for rain
|
|
in the night had laid the dust, and the blue sky looked far off,
|
|
away from the region of the great clouds that sailed in masses.
|
|
The earth looked like a happy place under the vast heavens,
|
|
and Dorothea was wishing that she might overtake Will and see him
|
|
once more.
|
|
|
|
After a turn of the road, there he was with the portfolio under his arm;
|
|
but the next moment she was passing him while he raised his hat,
|
|
and she felt a pang at being seated there in a sort of exaltation,
|
|
leaving him behind. She could not look back at him. It was
|
|
as if a crowd of indifferent objects had thrust them asunder,
|
|
and forced them along different paths, taking them farther and
|
|
farther away from each other, and making it useless to look back.
|
|
She could no more make any sign that would seem to say, "Need we part?"
|
|
than she could stop the carriage to wait for him. Nay, what a world
|
|
of reasons crowded upon her against any movement of her thought
|
|
towards a future that might reverse the decision of this day!
|
|
|
|
"I only wish I had known before--I wish he knew--then we could be
|
|
quite happy in thinking of each other, though we are forever parted.
|
|
And if I could but have given him the money, and made things easier
|
|
for him!"--were the longings that came back the most persistently.
|
|
And yet, so heavily did the world weigh on her in spite of her
|
|
independent energy, that with this idea of Will as in need of such help
|
|
and at a disadvantage with the world, there came always the vision
|
|
of that unfittingness of any closer relation between them which lay
|
|
in the opinion of every one connected with her. She felt to the full
|
|
all the imperativeness of the motives which urged Will's conduct.
|
|
How could he dream of her defying the barrier that her husband had
|
|
placed between them?--how could she ever say to herself that she
|
|
would defy it?
|
|
|
|
Will's certainty as the carriage grew smaller in the distance,
|
|
had much more bitterness in it. Very slight matters were enough
|
|
to gall him in his sensitive mood, and the sight of Dorothea
|
|
driving past him while he felt himself plodding along as a poor
|
|
devil seeking a position in a world which in his present temper
|
|
offered him little that he coveted, made his conduct seem a mere
|
|
matter of necessity, and took away the sustainment of resolve.
|
|
After all, he had no assurance that she loved him: could any man
|
|
pretend that he was simply glad in such a case to have the suffering
|
|
all on his own side?
|
|
|
|
That evening Will spent with the Lydgates; the next evening he
|
|
was gone.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
BOOK VII.
|
|
|
|
TWO TEMPTATIONS.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXIII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
These little things are great to little man.--GOLDSMITH.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Have you seen much of your scientific phoenix, Lydgate, lately?"
|
|
said Mr. Toller at one of his Christmas dinner-parties, speaking
|
|
to Mr. Farebrother on his right hand.
|
|
|
|
"Not much, I am sorry to say," answered the Vicar, accustomed to parry
|
|
Mr. Toller's banter about his belief in the new medical light.
|
|
"I am out of the way and he is too busy."
|
|
|
|
"Is he? I am glad to hear it," said Dr. Minchin, with mingled
|
|
suavity and surprise.
|
|
|
|
"He gives a great deal of time to the New Hospital," said Mr. Farebrother,
|
|
who had his reasons for continuing the subject: "I hear of that from
|
|
my neighbor, Mrs. Casaubon, who goes there often. She says Lydgate
|
|
is indefatigable, and is making a fine thing of Bulstrode's institution.
|
|
He is preparing a new ward in case of the cholera coming to us."
|
|
|
|
"And preparing theories of treatment to try on the patients,
|
|
I suppose," said Mr. Toller.
|
|
|
|
"Come, Toller, be candid," said Mr. Farebrother. "You are too clever
|
|
not to see the good of a bold fresh mind in medicine, as well as in
|
|
everything else; and as to cholera, I fancy, none of you are very
|
|
sure what you ought to do. If a man goes a little too far along
|
|
a new road, it is usually himself that he harms more than any one else."
|
|
|
|
"I am sure you and Wrench ought to be obliged to him," said Dr. Minchin,
|
|
looking towards Toller, "for he has sent you the cream of Peacock's patients."
|
|
|
|
"Lydgate has been living at a great rate for a young beginner,"
|
|
said Mr. Harry Toller, the brewer. "I suppose his relations in the
|
|
North back him up."
|
|
|
|
"I hope so," said Mr. Chichely, "else he ought not to have married
|
|
that nice girl we were all so fond of. Hang it, one has a grudge
|
|
against a man who carries off the prettiest girl in the town."
|
|
|
|
"Ay, by God! and the best too," said Mr. Standish.
|
|
|
|
"My friend Vincy didn't half like the marriage, I know that,"
|
|
said Mr. Chichely. "HE wouldn't do much. How the relations
|
|
on the other side may have come down I can't say." There was an
|
|
emphatic kind of reticence in Mr. Chichely's manner of speaking.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I shouldn't think Lydgate ever looked to practice for a living,"
|
|
said Mr. Toller, with a slight touch of sarcasm, and there the subject
|
|
was dropped.
|
|
|
|
This was not the first time that Mr. Farebrother had heard hints of
|
|
Lydgate's expenses being obviously too great to be met by his practice,
|
|
but he thought it not unlikely that there were resources or expectations
|
|
which excused the large outlay at the time of Lydgate's marriage,
|
|
and which might hinder any bad consequences from the disappointment
|
|
in his practice. One evening, when he took the pains to go
|
|
to Middlemarch on purpose to have a chat with Lydgate as of old,
|
|
he noticed in him an air of excited effort quite unlike his usual easy
|
|
way of keeping silence or breaking it with abrupt energy whenever
|
|
he had anything to say. Lydgate talked persistently when they were
|
|
in his work-room, putting arguments for and against the probability
|
|
of certain biological views; but he had none of those definite
|
|
things to say or to show which give the waymarks of a patient
|
|
uninterrupted pursuit, such as he used himself to insist on,
|
|
saying that "there must be a systole and diastole in all inquiry,"
|
|
and that "a man's mind must be continually expanding and shrinking
|
|
between the whole human horizon and the horizon of an object-glass."
|
|
That evening he seemed to be talking widely for the sake of resisting
|
|
any personal bearing; and before long they went into the drawing room,
|
|
where Lydgate, having asked Rosamond to give them music, sank back
|
|
in his chair in silence, but with a strange light in his eyes.
|
|
"He may have been taking an opiate," was a thought that crossed
|
|
Mr. Farebrother's mind--"tic-douloureux perhaps--or medical worries."
|
|
|
|
It did not occur to him that Lydgate's marriage was not delightful:
|
|
he believed, as the rest did, that Rosamond was an amiable,
|
|
docile creature, though he had always thought her rather uninteresting--
|
|
a little too much the pattern-card of the finishing-school;
|
|
and his mother could not forgive Rosamond because she never seemed
|
|
to see that Henrietta Noble was in the room. "However, Lydgate
|
|
fell in love with her," said the Vicar to himself, "and she must
|
|
be to his taste."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Farebrother was aware that Lydgate was a proud man, but having
|
|
very little corresponding fibre in himself, and perhaps too little care
|
|
about personal dignity, except the dignity of not being mean or foolish,
|
|
he could hardly allow enough for the way in which Lydgate shrank,
|
|
as from a burn, from the utterance of any word about his private affairs.
|
|
And soon after that conversation at Mr. Toller's, the Vicar
|
|
learned something which made him watch the more eagerly for an
|
|
opportunity of indirectly letting Lydgate know that if he wanted
|
|
to open himself about any difficulty there was a friendly ear ready.
|
|
|
|
The opportunity came at Mr. Vincy's, where, on New Year's Day,
|
|
there was a party, to which Mr. Farebrother was irresistibly invited,
|
|
on the plea that he must not forsake his old friends on the first
|
|
new year of his being a greater man, and Rector as well as Vicar.
|
|
And this party was thoroughly friendly: all the ladies of the
|
|
Farebrother family were present; the Vincy children all dined
|
|
at the table, and Fred had persuaded his mother that if she did
|
|
not invite Mary Garth, the Farebrothers would regard it as a slight
|
|
to themselves, Mary being their particular friend. Mary came, and Fred
|
|
was in high spirits, though his enjoyment was of a checkered kind--
|
|
triumph that his mother should see Mary's importance with the chief
|
|
personages in the party being much streaked with jealousy when
|
|
Mr. Farebrother sat down by her. Fred used to be much more easy
|
|
about his own accomplishments in the days when he had not begun
|
|
to dread being "bowled out by Farebrother," and this terror was
|
|
still before him. Mrs. Vincy, in her fullest matronly bloom,
|
|
looked at Mary's little figure, rough wavy hair, and visage quite
|
|
without lilies and roses, and wondered; trying unsuccessfully
|
|
to fancy herself caring about Mary's appearance in wedding clothes,
|
|
or feeling complacency in grandchildren who would "feature" the Garths.
|
|
However, the party was a merry one, and Mary was particularly bright;
|
|
being glad, for Fred's sake, that his friends were getting
|
|
kinder to her, and being also quite willing that they should
|
|
see how much she was valued by others whom they must admit to be judges.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Farebrother noticed that Lydgate seemed bored, and that Mr. Vincy
|
|
spoke as little as possible to his son-in-law. Rosamond was perfectly
|
|
graceful and calm, and only a subtle observation such as the Vicar
|
|
had not been roused to bestow on her would have perceived the total
|
|
absence of that interest in her husband's presence which a loving
|
|
wife is sure to betray, even if etiquette keeps her aloof from him.
|
|
When Lydgate was taking part in the conversation, she never looked
|
|
towards him any more than if she had been a sculptured Psyche modelled
|
|
to look another way: and when, after being called out for an hour
|
|
or two, he re-entered the room, she seemed unconscious of the fact,
|
|
which eighteen months before would have had the effect of a numeral
|
|
before ciphers. In reality, however, she was intensely aware
|
|
of Lydgate's voice and movements; and her pretty good-tempered air
|
|
of unconsciousness was a studied negation by which she satisfied
|
|
her inward opposition to him without compromise of propriety.
|
|
When the ladies were in the drawing-room after Lydgate had been
|
|
called away from the dessert, Mrs. Farebrother, when Rosamond
|
|
happened to be near her, said--"You have to give up a great deal
|
|
of your husband's society, Mrs. Lydgate."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, the life of a medical man is very arduous: especially when he
|
|
is so devoted to his profession as Mr. Lydgate is," said Rosamond,
|
|
who was standing, and moved easily away at the end of this correct
|
|
little speech.
|
|
|
|
"It is dreadfully dull for her when there is no company,"
|
|
said Mrs. Vincy, who was seated at the old lady's side.
|
|
"I am sure I thought so when Rosamond was ill, and I was staying
|
|
with her. You know, Mrs. Farebrother, ours is a cheerful house.
|
|
I am of a cheerful disposition myself, and Mr. Vincy always likes
|
|
something to be going on. That is what Rosamond has been used to.
|
|
Very different from a husband out at odd hours, and never knowing
|
|
when he will come home, and of a close, proud disposition,
|
|
_I_ think"--indiscreet Mrs. Vincy did lower her tone slightly with
|
|
this parenthesis. "But Rosamond always had an angel of a temper;
|
|
her brothers used very often not to please her, but she was never
|
|
the girl to show temper; from a baby she was always as good as good,
|
|
and with a complexion beyond anything. But my children are all
|
|
good-tempered, thank God."
|
|
|
|
This was easily credible to any one looking at Mrs. Vincy as she threw
|
|
back her broad cap-strings, and smiled towards her three little girls,
|
|
aged from seven to eleven. But in that smiling glance she was
|
|
obliged to include Mary Garth, whom the three girls had got into
|
|
a corner to make her tell them stories. Mary was just finishing
|
|
the delicious tale of Rumpelstiltskin, which she had well by heart,
|
|
because Letty was never tired of communicating it to her ignorant
|
|
elders from a favorite red volume. Louisa, Mrs. Vincy's darling,
|
|
now ran to her with wide-eyed serious excitement, crying, "Oh mamma,
|
|
mamma, the little man stamped so hard on the floor he couldn't
|
|
get his leg out again!"
|
|
|
|
"Bless you, my cherub!" said mamma; "you shall tell me all about it
|
|
to-morrow. Go and listen!" and then, as her eyes followed Louisa
|
|
back towards the attractive corner, she thought that if Fred wished
|
|
her to invite Mary again she would make no objection, the children
|
|
being so pleased with her.
|
|
|
|
But presently the corner became still more animated, for Mr. Farebrother
|
|
came in, and seating himself behind Louisa, took her on his lap;
|
|
whereupon the girls all insisted that he must hear Rumpelstiltskin,
|
|
and Mary must tell it over again. He insisted too, and Mary,
|
|
without fuss, began again in her neat fashion, with precisely
|
|
the same words as before. Fred, who had also seated himself near,
|
|
would have felt unmixed triumph in Mary's effectiveness if
|
|
Mr. Farebrother had not been looking at her with evident admiration,
|
|
while he dramatized an intense interest in the tale to please
|
|
the children.
|
|
|
|
"You will never care any more about my one-eyed giant, Loo,"
|
|
said Fred at the end.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I shall. Tell about him now," said Louisa.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I dare say; I am quite cut out. Ask Mr. Farebrother."
|
|
|
|
"Yes," added Mary; "ask Mr. Farebrother to tell you about the ants
|
|
whose beautiful house was knocked down by a giant named Tom,
|
|
and he thought they didn't mind because he couldn't hear them cry,
|
|
or see them use their pocket-handkerchiefs."
|
|
|
|
"Please," said Louisa, looking up at the Vicar.
|
|
|
|
"No, no, I am a grave old parson. If I try to draw a story out
|
|
of my bag a sermon comes instead. Shall I preach you a sermon?"
|
|
said he, putting on his short-sighted glasses, and pursing up
|
|
his lips.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Louisa, falteringly.
|
|
|
|
"Let me see, then. Against cakes: how cakes are bad things,
|
|
especially if they are sweet and have plums in them."
|
|
|
|
Louisa took the affair rather seriously, and got down from the
|
|
Vicar's knee to go to Fred.
|
|
|
|
"Ah, I see it will not do to preach on New Year's Day,"
|
|
said Mr. Farebrother, rising and walking--away. He had discovered
|
|
of late that Fred had become jealous of him, and also that he
|
|
himself was not losing his preference for Mary above all other women.
|
|
|
|
"A delightful young person is Miss Garth," said Mrs. Farebrother,
|
|
who had been watching her son's movements.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Mrs. Vincy, obliged to reply, as the old lady turned
|
|
to her expectantly. "It is a pity she is not better-looking."
|
|
|
|
"I cannot say that," said Mrs. Farebrother, decisively. "I like
|
|
her countenance. We must not always ask for beauty, when a good
|
|
God has seen fit to make an excellent young woman without it.
|
|
I put good manners first, and Miss Garth will know how to conduct
|
|
herself in any station."
|
|
|
|
The old lady was a little sharp in her tone, having a prospective
|
|
reference to Mary's becoming her daughter-in-law; for there was this
|
|
inconvenience in Mary's position with regard to Fred, that it was
|
|
not suitable to be made public, and hence the three ladies at Lowick
|
|
Parsonage were still hoping that Camden would choose Miss Garth.
|
|
|
|
New visitors entered, and the drawing-room was given up to music
|
|
and games, while whist-tables were prepared in the quiet room
|
|
on the other side of the hall. Mr. Farebrother played a rubber
|
|
to satisfy his mother, who regarded her occasional whist as a
|
|
protest against scandal and novelty of opinion, in which light
|
|
even a revoke had its dignity. But at the end he got Mr. Chichely
|
|
to take his place, and left the room. As he crossed the hall,
|
|
Lydgate had just come in and was taking off his great-coat.
|
|
|
|
"You are the man I was going to look for," said the Vicar;
|
|
and instead of entering the drawing-room, they walked along the hall
|
|
and stood against the fireplace, where the frosty air helped to make
|
|
a glowing bank. "You see, I can leave the whist-table easily enough,"
|
|
he went on, smiling at Lydgate, "now I don't play for money.
|
|
I owe that to you, Mrs. Casaubon says."
|
|
|
|
"How?" said Lydgate, coldly.
|
|
|
|
"Ah, you didn't mean me to know it; I call that ungenerous reticence.
|
|
You should let a man have the pleasure of feeling that you have
|
|
done him a good turn. I don't enter into some people's dislike
|
|
of being under an obligation: upon my word, I prefer being under
|
|
an obligation to everybody for behaving well to me."
|
|
|
|
"I can't tell what you mean," said Lydgate, "unless it is that I once
|
|
spoke of you to Mrs. Casaubon. But I did not think that she would
|
|
break her promise not to mention that I had done so," said Lydgate,
|
|
leaning his back against the corner of the mantel-piece, and showing
|
|
no radiance in his face.
|
|
|
|
"It was Brooke who let it out, only the other day. He paid me
|
|
the compliment of saying that he was very glad I had the living
|
|
though you had come across his tactics, and had praised me up as a
|
|
lien and a Tillotson, and that sort of thing, till Mrs. Casaubon
|
|
would hear of no one else."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, Brooke is such a leaky-minded fool," said Lydgate, contemptuously.
|
|
|
|
"Well, I was glad of the leakiness then. I don't see why you
|
|
shouldn't like me to know that you wished to do me a service,
|
|
my dear fellow. And you certainly have done me one. It's rather
|
|
a strong check to one's self-complacency to find how much of one's
|
|
right doing depends on not being in want of money. A man will not
|
|
be tempted to say the Lord's Prayer backward to please the devil,
|
|
if he doesn't want the devil's services. I have no need to hang
|
|
on the smiles of chance now."
|
|
|
|
"I don't see that there's any money-getting without chance,"
|
|
said Lydgate; "if a man gets it in a profession, it's pretty sure
|
|
to come by chance."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Farebrother thought he could account for this speech, in striking
|
|
contrast with Lydgate's former way of talking, as the perversity
|
|
which will often spring from the moodiness of a man ill at ease
|
|
in his affairs. He answered in a tone of good-humored admission--
|
|
|
|
"Ah, there's enormous patience wanted with the way of the world.
|
|
But it is the easier for a man to wait patiently when he has friends
|
|
who love him, and ask for nothing better than to help him through,
|
|
so far as it lies in their power."
|
|
|
|
"Oh yes," said Lydgate, in a careless tone, changing his attitude
|
|
and looking at his watch. "People make much more of their
|
|
difficulties than they need to do."
|
|
|
|
He knew as distinctly as possible that this was an offer of help
|
|
to himself from Mr. Farebrother, and he could not bear it.
|
|
So strangely determined are we mortals, that, after having been
|
|
long gratified with the sense that he had privately done the Vicar
|
|
a service, the suggestion that the Vicar discerned his need of a
|
|
service in return made him shrink into unconquerable reticence.
|
|
Besides, behind all making of such offers what else must come?--that he
|
|
should "mention his case," imply that he wanted specific things.
|
|
At that moment, suicide seemed easier.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Farebrother was too keen a man not to know the meaning of that reply,
|
|
and there was a certain massiveness in Lydgate's manner and tone,
|
|
corresponding with his physique, which if he repelled your advances
|
|
in the first instance seemed to put persuasive devices out of question.
|
|
|
|
"What time are you?" said the Vicar, devouring his wounded feeling.
|
|
|
|
"After eleven," said Lydgate. And they went into the drawing-room.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXIV.
|
|
|
|
|
|
1st Gent. Where lies the power, there let the blame lie too.
|
|
2d Gent. Nay, power is relative; you cannot fright
|
|
The coming pest with border fortresses,
|
|
Or catch your carp with subtle argument.
|
|
All force is twain in one: cause is not cause
|
|
Unless effect be there; and action's self
|
|
Must needs contain a passive. So command
|
|
Exists but with obedience."
|
|
|
|
|
|
Even if Lydgate had been inclined to be quite open about his affairs,
|
|
he knew that it would have hardly been in Mr. Farebrother's power
|
|
to give him the help he immediately wanted. With the year's bills
|
|
coming in from his tradesmen, with Dover's threatening hold on
|
|
his furniture, and with nothing to depend on but slow dribbling
|
|
payments from patients who must not be offended--for the handsome
|
|
fees he had had from Freshitt Hall and Lowick Manor had been
|
|
easily absorbed--nothing less than a thousand pounds would have
|
|
freed him from actual embarrassment, and left a residue which,
|
|
according to the favorite phrase of hopefulness in such circumstances,
|
|
would have given him "time to look about him."
|
|
|
|
Naturally, the merry Christmas bringing the happy New Year,
|
|
when fellow-citizens expect to be paid for the trouble and goods
|
|
they have smilingly bestowed on their neighbors, had so tightened
|
|
the pressure of sordid cares on Lydgate's mind that it was hardly
|
|
possible for him to think unbrokenly of any other subject, even the
|
|
most habitual and soliciting. He was not an ill-tempered man;
|
|
his intellectual activity, the ardent kindness of his heart, as well
|
|
as his strong frame, would always, under tolerably easy conditions,
|
|
have kept him above the petty uncontrolled susceptibilities which make
|
|
bad temper. But he was now a prey to that worst irritation which
|
|
arises not simply from annoyances, but from the second consciousness
|
|
underlying those annoyances, of wasted energy and a degrading
|
|
preoccupation, which was the reverse of all his former purposes.
|
|
"THIS is what I am thinking of; and THAT is what I might
|
|
have been thinking of," was the bitter incessant murmur within him,
|
|
making every difficulty a double goad to impatience.
|
|
|
|
Some gentlemen have made an amazing figure in literature by general
|
|
discontent with the universe as a trap of dulness into which their
|
|
great souls have fallen by mistake; but the sense of a stupendous
|
|
self and an insignificant world may have its consolations.
|
|
Lydgate's discontent was much harder to bear: it was the sense that
|
|
there was a grand existence in thought and effective action lying
|
|
around him, while his self was being narrowed into the miserable
|
|
isolation of egoistic fears, and vulgar anxieties for events that might
|
|
allay such fears. His troubles will perhaps appear miserably sordid,
|
|
and beneath the attention of lofty persons who can know nothing
|
|
of debt except on a magnificent scale. Doubtless they were sordid;
|
|
and for the majority, who are not lofty, there is no escape from
|
|
sordidness but by being free from money-craving, with all its base
|
|
hopes and temptations, its watching for death, its hinted requests.
|
|
its horse-dealer's desire to make bad work pass for good,
|
|
its seeking for function which ought to be another's, its compulsion
|
|
often to long for Luck in the shape of a wide calamity.
|
|
|
|
It was because Lydgate writhed under the idea of getting his neck
|
|
beneath this vile yoke that he had fallen into a bitter moody state
|
|
which was continually widening Rosamond's alienation from him.
|
|
After the first disclosure about the bill of sale, he had made
|
|
many efforts to draw her into sympathy with him about possible
|
|
measures for narrowing their expenses, and with the threatening
|
|
approach of Christmas his propositions grew more and more definite.
|
|
"We two can do with only one servant, and live on very little,"
|
|
he said, "and I shall manage with one horse." For Lydgate,
|
|
as we have seen, had begun to reason, with a more distinct vision,
|
|
about the expenses of living, and any share of pride he had given to
|
|
appearances of that sort was meagre compared with the pride which made
|
|
him revolt from exposure as a debtor, or from asking men to help him
|
|
with their money.
|
|
|
|
"Of course you can dismiss the other two servants, if you like,"
|
|
said Rosamond; "but I should have thought it would be very injurious
|
|
to your position for us to live in a poor way. You must expect
|
|
your practice to be lowered."
|
|
|
|
"My dear Rosamond, it is not a question of choice. We have begun
|
|
too expensively. Peacock, you know, lived in a much smaller house
|
|
than this. It is my fault: I ought to have known better, and I
|
|
deserve a thrashing--if there were anybody who had a right to give
|
|
it me--for bringing you into the necessity of living in a poorer
|
|
way than you have been used to. But we married because we loved
|
|
each other, I suppose. And that may help us to pull along till
|
|
things get better. Come, dear, put down that work and come to me."
|
|
|
|
He was really in chill gloom about her at that moment, but he dreaded
|
|
a future without affection, and was determined to resist the oncoming
|
|
of division between them. Rosamond obeyed him, and he took her on
|
|
his knee, but in her secret soul she was utterly aloof from him.
|
|
The poor thing saw only that the world was not ordered to her liking,
|
|
and Lydgate was part of that world. But he held her waist with one
|
|
hand and laid the other gently on both of hers; for this rather abrupt
|
|
man had much tenderness in his manners towards women, seeming to
|
|
have always present in his imagination the weakness of their frames
|
|
and the delicate poise of their health both in body and mind.
|
|
And he began again to speak persuasively.
|
|
|
|
"I find, now I look into things a little, Rosy, that it is wonderful
|
|
what an amount of money slips away in our housekeeping. I suppose
|
|
the servants are careless, and we have had a great many people coming.
|
|
But there must be many in our rank who manage with much less:
|
|
they must do with commoner things, I suppose, and look after
|
|
the scraps. It seems, money goes but a little way in these matters,
|
|
for Wrench has everything as plain as possible, and he has a very
|
|
large practice."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, if you think of living as the Wrenches do!" said Rosamond,
|
|
with a little turn of her neck. "But I have heard you express your
|
|
disgust at that way of living."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, they have bad taste in everything--they make economy look ugly.
|
|
We needn't do that. I only meant that they avoid expenses,
|
|
although Wrench has a capital practice."
|
|
|
|
"Why should not you have a good practice, Tertius? Mr. Peacock had.
|
|
You should be more careful not to offend people, and you should
|
|
send out medicines as the others do. I am sure you began well,
|
|
and you got several good houses. It cannot answer to be eccentric;
|
|
you should think what will be generally liked," said Rosamond, in a
|
|
decided little tone of admonition.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate's anger rose: he was prepared to be indulgent towards
|
|
feminine weakness, but not towards feminine dictation.
|
|
The shallowness of a waternixie's soul may have a charm until
|
|
she becomes didactic. But he controlled himself, and only said,
|
|
with a touch of despotic firmness--
|
|
|
|
"What I am to do in my practice, Rosy, it is for me to judge.
|
|
That is not the question between us. It is enough for you
|
|
to know that our income is likely to be a very narrow one--
|
|
hardly four hundred, perhaps less, for a long time to come, and we
|
|
must try to re-arrange our lives in accordance with that fact."
|
|
|
|
Rosamond was silent for a moment or two, looking before her,
|
|
and then said, "My uncle Bulstrode ought to allow you a salary
|
|
for the time you give to the Hospital: it is not right that you
|
|
should work for nothing."
|
|
|
|
"It was understood from the beginning that my services would
|
|
be gratuitous. That, again, need not enter into our discussion.
|
|
I have pointed out what is the only probability," said Lydgate,
|
|
impatiently. Then checking himself, he went on more quietly--
|
|
|
|
"I think I see one resource which would free us from a good deal
|
|
of the present difficulty. I hear that young Ned Plymdale is going
|
|
to be married to Miss Sophy Toller. They are rich, and it is not often
|
|
that a good house is vacant in Middlemarch. I feel sure that they
|
|
would be glad to take this house from us with most of our furniture,
|
|
and they would be willing to pay handsomely for the lease.
|
|
I can employ Trumbull to speak to Plymdale about it."
|
|
|
|
Rosamond left her husband's knee and walked slowly to the other
|
|
end of the room; when she turned round and walked towards him it
|
|
was evident that the tears had come, and that she was biting her
|
|
under-lip and clasping her hands to keep herself from crying.
|
|
Lydgate was wretched--shaken with anger and yet feeling that it
|
|
would be unmanly to vent the anger just now.
|
|
|
|
"I am very sorry, Rosamond; I know this is painful."
|
|
|
|
"I thought, at least, when I had borne to send the plate back
|
|
and have that man taking an inventory of the furniture--I should
|
|
have thought THAT would suffice."
|
|
|
|
"I explained it to you at the time, dear. That was only a security
|
|
and behind that Security there is a debt. And that debt must be paid
|
|
within the next few months, else we shall have our furniture sold.
|
|
If young Plymdale will take our house and most of our furniture,
|
|
we shall be able to pay that debt, and some others too, and we
|
|
shall be quit of a place too expensive for us. We might take
|
|
a smaller house: Trumbull, I know, has a very decent one to let
|
|
at thirty pounds a-year, and this is ninety." Lydgate uttered this
|
|
speech in the curt hammering way with which we usually try to nail
|
|
down a vague mind to imperative facts. Tears rolled silently down
|
|
Rosamond's cheeks; she just pressed her handkerchief against them,
|
|
and stood looking al; the large vase on the mantel-piece. It was
|
|
a moment of more intense bitterness than she had ever felt before.
|
|
At last she said, without hurry and with careful emphasis--
|
|
|
|
"I never could have believed that you would like to act in that way."
|
|
|
|
"Like it?" burst out Lydgate, rising from his chair, thrusting his
|
|
hands in his pockets and stalking away from the hearth; "it's not
|
|
a question of liking. Of course, I don't like it; it's the only
|
|
thing I can do." He wheeled round there, and turned towards her.
|
|
|
|
"I should have thought there were many other means than that,"
|
|
said Rosamond. "Let us have a sale and leave Middlemarch altogether."
|
|
|
|
"To do what? What is the use of my leaving my work in Middlemarch
|
|
to go where I have none? We should be just as penniless elsewhere
|
|
as we are here," said Lydgate still more angrily.
|
|
|
|
"If we are to be in that position it will be entirely your
|
|
own doing, Tertius," said Rosamond, turning round to speak
|
|
with the fullest conviction. "You will not behave as you ought
|
|
to do to your own family. You offended Captain Lydgate.
|
|
Sir Godwin was very kind to me when we were at Quallingham,
|
|
and I am sure if you showed proper regard to him and told him
|
|
your affairs, he would do anything for you. But rather than that,
|
|
you like giving up our house and furniture to Mr. Ned Plymdale."
|
|
|
|
There was something like fierceness in Lydgate's eyes, as he
|
|
answered with new violence, "Well, then, if you will have it so,
|
|
I do like it. I admit that I like it better than making a fool
|
|
of myself by going to beg where it's of no use. Understand then,
|
|
that it is what I LIKE TO DO."
|
|
|
|
There was a tone in the last sentence which was equivalent
|
|
to the clutch of his strong hand on Rosamond's delicate arm.
|
|
But for all that, his will was not a whit stronger than hers.
|
|
She immediately walked out of the room in silence, but with an intense
|
|
determination to hinder what Lydgate liked to do.
|
|
|
|
He went out of the house, but as his blood cooled he felt that the chief
|
|
result of the discussion was a deposit of dread within him at the idea
|
|
of opening with his wife in future subjects which might again urge
|
|
him to violent speech. It was as if a fracture in delicate crystal
|
|
had begun, and he was afraid of any movement that might mate it fatal.
|
|
His marriage would be a mere piece of bitter irony if they could
|
|
not go on loving each other. He had long ago made up his mind to
|
|
what he thought was her negative character--her want of sensibility,
|
|
which showed itself in disregard both of his specific wishes and of
|
|
his general aims. The first great disappointment had been borne:
|
|
the tender devotedness and docile adoration of the ideal wife must
|
|
be renounced, and life must be taken up on a lower stage of expectation,
|
|
as it is by men who have lost their limbs. But the real wife
|
|
had not only her claims, she had still a hold on his heart,
|
|
and it was his intense desire that the hold should remain strong.
|
|
In marriage, the certainty, "She will never love me much,"
|
|
is easier to bear than the fear, "I shall love her no more." Hence,
|
|
after that outburst, his inward effort was entirely to excuse her,
|
|
and to blame the hard circumstances which were partly his fault.
|
|
He tried that evening, by petting her, to heal the wound he had
|
|
made in the morning, and it was not in Rosamond's nature to be
|
|
repellent or sulky; indeed, she welcomed the signs that her husband
|
|
loved her and was under control. But this was something quite
|
|
distinct from loving HIM. Lydgate would not have chosen soon
|
|
to recur to the plan of parting with the house; he was resolved
|
|
to carry it out, and say as little more about it as possible.
|
|
But Rosamond herself touched on it at breakfast by saying, mildly--
|
|
|
|
"Have you spoken to Trumbull yet?"
|
|
|
|
"No," said Lydgate, "but I shall call on him as I go by this morning.
|
|
No time must be lost." He took Rosamond's question as a sign that
|
|
she withdrew her inward opposition, and kissed her head caressingly
|
|
when he got up to go away.
|
|
|
|
As soon as it was late enough to make a call, Rosamond went to
|
|
Mrs. Plymdale, Mr. Ned's mother, and entered with pretty congratulations
|
|
into the of the coming marriage. Mrs. Plymdale's maternal view was,
|
|
that Rosamond might possibly now have retrospective glimpses
|
|
of her own folly; and feeling the advantages to be at present
|
|
all on the side of her son, was too kind a woman not to behave graciously.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, Ned is most happy, I must say. And Sophy Toller is all
|
|
I could desire in a daughter-in-law. Of course her father is
|
|
able to do something handsome for her--that is only what would
|
|
be expected with a brewery like his. And the connection is
|
|
everything we should desire. But that is not what I look at.
|
|
She is such a very nice girl--no airs, no pretensions, though on
|
|
a level with the first. I don't mean with the titled aristocracy.
|
|
I see very little good in people aiming out of their own sphere.
|
|
I mean that Sophy is equal to the best in the town, and she is
|
|
contented with that."
|
|
|
|
"I have always thought her very agreeable," said Rosamond.
|
|
|
|
"I look upon it as a reward for Ned, who never held his head
|
|
too high, that he should have got into the very best connection,"
|
|
continued Mrs. Plymdale, her native sharpness softened by a fervid
|
|
sense that she was taking a correct view. "And such particular people
|
|
as the Tollers are, they might have objected because some of our
|
|
friends are not theirs. It is well known that your aunt Bulstrode
|
|
and I have been intimate from our youth, and Mr. Plymdale has been
|
|
always on Mr. Bulstrode's side. And I myself prefer serious opinions.
|
|
But the Tollers have welcomed Ned all the same."
|
|
|
|
"I am sure he is a very deserving, well-principled young man,"
|
|
said Rosamond, with a neat air of patronage in return for
|
|
Mrs. Plymdale's wholesome corrections.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, he has not the style of a captain in the army, or that sort
|
|
of carriage as if everybody was beneath him, or that showy kind
|
|
of talking, and singing, and intellectual talent. But I am thankful
|
|
he has not. It is a poor preparation both for here and Hereafter."
|
|
|
|
"Oh dear, yes; appearances have very little to do with happiness,"
|
|
said Rosamond. "I think there is every prospect of their being a
|
|
happy couple. What house will they take?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, as for that, they must put up with what they can get.
|
|
They have been looking at the house in St. Peter's Place, next to
|
|
Mr. Hackbutt's; it belongs to him, and he is putting it nicely
|
|
in repair. I suppose they are not likely to hear of a better.
|
|
Indeed, I think Ned will decide the matter to-day."
|
|
|
|
"I should think it is a nice house; I like St. Peter's Place."
|
|
|
|
"Well, it is near the Church, and a genteel situation.
|
|
But the windows are narrow, and it is all ups and downs.
|
|
You don't happen to know of any other that would be at liberty?"
|
|
said Mrs. Plymdale, fixing her round black eyes on Rosamond
|
|
with the animation of a sudden thought in them.
|
|
|
|
"Oh no; I hear so little of those things."
|
|
|
|
Rosamond had not foreseen that question and answer in setting out to pay
|
|
her visit; she had simply meant to gather any information which would
|
|
help her to avert the parting with her own house under circumstances
|
|
thoroughly disagreeable to her. As to the untruth in her reply,
|
|
she no more reflected on it than she did on the untruth there was
|
|
in her saying that appearances had very little to do with happiness.
|
|
Her object, she was convinced, was thoroughly justifiable:
|
|
it was Lydgate whose intention was inexcusable; and there was a plan
|
|
in her mind which, when she had carried it out fully, would prove
|
|
how very false a step it would have been for him to have descended
|
|
from his position.
|
|
|
|
She returned home by Mr. Borthrop Trumbull's office, meaning to
|
|
call there. It was the first time in her life that Rosamond had
|
|
thought of doing anything in the form of business, but she felt
|
|
equal to the occasion. That she should be obliged to do what she
|
|
intensely disliked, was an idea which turned her quiet tenacity
|
|
into active invention. Here was a case in which it could not be
|
|
enough simply to disobey and be serenely, placidly obstinate:
|
|
she must act according to her judgment, and she said to herself
|
|
that her judgment was right--"indeed, if it had not been,
|
|
she would not have wished to act on it."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Trumbull was in the back-room of his office, and received
|
|
Rosamond with his finest manners, not only because he had much
|
|
sensibility to her charms, but because the good-natured fibre in him
|
|
was stirred by his certainty that Lydgate was in difficulties,
|
|
and that this uncommonly pretty woman--this young lady with the highest
|
|
personal attractions--was likely to feel the pinch of trouble--
|
|
to find herself involved in circumstances beyond her control.
|
|
He begged her to do him the honor to take a seat, and stood before
|
|
her trimming and comporting himself with an eager solicitude,
|
|
which was chiefly benevolent. Rosamond's first question was,
|
|
whether her husband had called on Mr. Trumbull that morning, to speak
|
|
about disposing of their house.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, ma'am, yes, he did; he did so," said the good auctioneer,
|
|
trying to throw something soothing into his iteration.
|
|
"I was about to fulfil his order, if possible, this afternoon.
|
|
He wished me not to procrastinate."
|
|
|
|
"I called to tell you not to go any further, Mr. Trumbull;
|
|
and I beg of you not to mention what has been said on the subject.
|
|
Will you oblige me?"
|
|
|
|
"Certainly I will, Mrs. Lydgate, certainly. Confidence is sacred
|
|
with me on business or any other topic. I am then to consider the
|
|
commission withdrawn?" said Mr. Trumbull, adjusting the long ends
|
|
of his blue cravat with both hands, and looking at Rosamond deferentially.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, if you please. I find that Mr. Ned Plymdale has taken a house--
|
|
the one in St. Peter's Place next to Mr. Hackbutt's. Mr. Lydgate
|
|
would be annoyed that his orders should be fulfilled uselessly.
|
|
And besides that, there are other circumstances which render the
|
|
proposal unnecessary."
|
|
|
|
"Very good, Mrs. Lydgate, very good. I am at your commands,
|
|
whenever you require any service of me," said Mr. Trumbull, who felt
|
|
pleasure in conjecturing that some new resources had been opened.
|
|
"Rely on me, I beg. The affair shall go no further."
|
|
|
|
That evening Lydgate was a little comforted by observing that Rosamond
|
|
was more lively than she had usually been of late, and even seemed
|
|
interested in doing what would please him without being asked.
|
|
He thought, "If she will be happy and I can rub through, what does
|
|
it all signify? It is only a narrow swamp that we have to pass
|
|
in a long journey. If I can get my mind clear again, I shall do."
|
|
|
|
He was so much cheered that he began to search for an account
|
|
of experiments which he had long ago meant to look up, and had
|
|
neglected out of that creeping self-despair which comes in the train
|
|
of petty anxieties. He felt again some of the old delightful
|
|
absorption in a far-reaching inquiry, while Rosamond played the
|
|
quiet music which was as helpful to his meditation as the plash
|
|
of an oar on the evening lake. It was rather late; he had pushed
|
|
away all the books, and was looking at the fire with his hands
|
|
clasped behind his head in forgetfulness of everything except the
|
|
construction of a new controlling experiment, when Rosamond, who
|
|
had left the piano and was leaning back in her chair watching him, said--
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Ned Plymdale has taken a house already."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate, startled and jarred, looked up in silence for a moment,
|
|
like a man who has been disturbed in his sleep. Then flushing
|
|
with an unpleasant consciousness, he asked--
|
|
|
|
"How do you know?"
|
|
|
|
"I called at Mrs. Plymdale's this morning, and she told me that he
|
|
had taken the house in St. Peter's Place, next to Mr. Hackbutt's."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate was silent. He drew his hands from behind his head and
|
|
pressed them against the hair which was hanging, as it was apt to do,
|
|
in a mass on his forehead, while he rested his elbows on his knees.
|
|
He was feeling bitter disappointment, as if he had opened
|
|
a door out of a suffocating place and had found it walled up;
|
|
but he also felt sure that Rosamond was pleased with the cause of
|
|
his disappointment. He preferred not looking at her and not speaking,
|
|
until he had got over the first spasm of vexation. After all,
|
|
he said in his bitterness, what can a woman care about so much
|
|
as house and furniture? a husband without them is an absurdity.
|
|
When he looked up and pushed his hair aside, his dark eyes had
|
|
a miserable blank non-expectance of sympathy in them, but he
|
|
only said, coolly--
|
|
|
|
"Perhaps some one else may turn up. I told Trumbull to be on
|
|
the look-out if he failed with Plymdale."
|
|
|
|
Rosamond made no remark. She trusted to the chance that nothing
|
|
more would pass between her husband and the auctioneer until some
|
|
issue should have justified her interference; at any rate, she had
|
|
hindered the event which she immediately dreaded. After a pause,
|
|
she said--
|
|
|
|
"How much money is it that those disagreeable people want?"
|
|
|
|
"What disagreeable people?"
|
|
|
|
"Those who took the list--and the others. I mean, how much money
|
|
would satisfy them so that you need not be troubled any more?"
|
|
|
|
Lydgate surveyed her for a moment, as if he were looking for symptoms,
|
|
and then said, "Oh, if I could have got six hundred from Plymdale
|
|
for furniture and as premium, I might have managed. I could have
|
|
paid off Dover, and given enough on account to the others to make
|
|
them wait patiently, if we contracted our expenses."
|
|
|
|
"But I mean how much should you want if we stayed in this house?"
|
|
|
|
"More than I am likely to get anywhere," said Lydgate, with rather
|
|
a grating sarcasm in his tone. It angered him to perceive that
|
|
Rosamond's mind was wandering over impracticable wishes instead
|
|
of facing possible efforts.
|
|
|
|
"Why should you not mention the sum?" said Rosamond, with a mild
|
|
indication that she did not like his manners.
|
|
|
|
"Well," said Lydgate in a guessing tone, "it would take at least
|
|
a thousand to set me at ease. But," he added, incisively, "I have
|
|
to consider what I shall do without it, not with it."
|
|
|
|
Rosamond said no more.
|
|
|
|
But the next day she carried out her plan of writing to Sir
|
|
Godwin Lydgate. Since the Captain's visit, she had received a
|
|
letter from him, and also one from Mrs. Mengan, his married sister,
|
|
condoling with her on the loss of her baby, and expressing
|
|
vaguely the hope that they should see her again at Quallingham.
|
|
Lydgate had told her that this politeness meant nothing; but she
|
|
was secretly convinced that any backwardness in Lydgate's family
|
|
towards him was due to his cold and contemptuous behavior, and she
|
|
had answered the letters in her most charming manner, feeling some
|
|
confidence that a specific invitation would follow. But there had
|
|
been total silence. The Captain evidently was not a great penman,
|
|
and Rosamond reflected that the sisters might have been abroad.
|
|
However, the season was come for thinking of friends at home,
|
|
and at any rate Sir Godwin, who had chucked her under the chin,
|
|
and pronounced her to be like the celebrated beauty, Mrs. Croly,
|
|
who had made a conquest of him in 1790, would be touched by any appeal
|
|
from her, and would find it pleasant for her sake to behave as he ought
|
|
to do towards his nephew. Rosamond was naively convinced of what an
|
|
old gentleman ought to do to prevent her from suffering annoyance.
|
|
And she wrote what she considered the most judicious letter possible--
|
|
one which would strike Sir Godwin as a proof of her excellent sense--
|
|
pointing out how desirable it was that Tertius should quit such a place
|
|
as Middlemarch for one more fitted to his talents, how the unpleasant
|
|
character of the inhabitants had hindered his professional success,
|
|
and how in consequence he was in money difficulties, from which it
|
|
would require a thousand pounds thoroughly to extricate him.
|
|
She did not say that Tertius was unaware of her intention to write;
|
|
for she had the idea that his supposed sanction of her letter would
|
|
be in accordance with what she did say of his great regard for his
|
|
uncle Godwin as the relative who had always been his best friend.
|
|
Such was the force of Poor Rosamond's tactics now she applied them
|
|
to affairs.
|
|
|
|
This had happened before the party on New Year's Day, and no answer
|
|
had yet come from Sir Godwin. But on the morning of that day
|
|
Lydgate had to learn that Rosamond had revoked his order to
|
|
Borthrop Trumbull. Feeling it necessary that she should be gradually
|
|
accustomed to the idea of their quitting the house in Lowick Gate,
|
|
he overcame his reluctance to speak to her again on the subject,
|
|
and when they were breakfasting said--
|
|
|
|
"I shall try to see Trumbull this morning, and tell him to.
|
|
advertise the house in the `Pioneer' and the `Trumpet.' If the thing
|
|
were advertised, some one might be inclined to take it who would
|
|
not otherwise have thought of a change. In these country places
|
|
many people go on in their old houses when their families are too
|
|
large for them, for want of knowing where they can find another.
|
|
And Trumbull seems to have got no bite at all."
|
|
|
|
Rosamond knew that the inevitable moment was come. "I ordered
|
|
Trumbull not to inquire further," she said, with a careful calmness
|
|
which was evidently defensive.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate stared at her in mute amazement. Only half an hour
|
|
before he had been fastening up her plaits for her, and talking
|
|
the "little language" of affection, which Rosamond, though not
|
|
returning it, accepted as if she had been a serene and lovely image,
|
|
now and then miraculously dimpling towards her votary.
|
|
With such fibres still astir in him, the shock he received could
|
|
not at once be distinctly anger; it was confused pain. He laid
|
|
down the knife and fork with which he was carving, and throwing
|
|
himself back in his chair, said at last, with a cool irony in his tone--
|
|
|
|
"May I ask when and why you did so?"
|
|
|
|
"When I knew that the Plymdales had taken a house, I called to tell
|
|
him not to mention ours to them; and at the same time I told him
|
|
not to let the affair go on any further. I knew that it would be
|
|
very injurious to you if it were known that you wished to part with
|
|
your house and furniture, and I had a very strong objection to it.
|
|
I think that was reason enough."
|
|
|
|
"It was of no consequence then that I had told you imperative
|
|
reasons of another kind; of no consequence that I had come to a
|
|
different conclusion, and given an order accordingly?" said Lydgate,
|
|
bitingly, the thunder and lightning gathering about his brow and eyes.
|
|
|
|
The effect of any one's anger on Rosamond had always been to make
|
|
her shrink in cold dislike, and to become all the more calmly correct,
|
|
in the conviction that she was not the person to misbehave whatever
|
|
others might do. She replied--
|
|
|
|
"I think I had a perfect right to speak on a subject which concerns
|
|
me at least as much as you."
|
|
|
|
"Clearly--you had a right to speak, but only to me. You had no right
|
|
to contradict my orders secretly, and treat me as if I were a fool,"
|
|
said Lydgate, in the same tone as before. Then with some added scorn,
|
|
"Is it possible to make you understand what the consequences will be?
|
|
Is it of any use for me to tell you again why we must try to part
|
|
with the house?"
|
|
|
|
"It is not necessary for you to tell me again," said Rosamond,
|
|
in a voice that fell and trickled like cold water-drops. "I remembered
|
|
what you said. You spoke just as violently as you do now.
|
|
But that does not alter my opinion that you ought to try every
|
|
other means rather than take a step which is so painful to me.
|
|
And as to advertising the house, I think it would be perfectly
|
|
degrading to you."
|
|
|
|
"And suppose I disregard your opinion as you disregard mine?"
|
|
|
|
"You can do so, of course. But I think you ought to have told me
|
|
before we were married that you would place me in the worst position,
|
|
rather than give up your own will."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate did not speak, but tossed his head on one side, and twitched
|
|
the corners of his mouth in despair. Rosamond, seeing that he was
|
|
not looking at her, rose and set his cup of coffee before him; but he
|
|
took no notice of it, and went on with an inward drama and argument,
|
|
occasionally moving in his seat, resting one arm on the table,
|
|
and rubbing his hand against his hair. There was a conflux of emotions
|
|
and thoughts in him that would not let him either give thorough
|
|
way to his anger or persevere with simple rigidity of resolve.
|
|
Rosamond took advantage of his silence.
|
|
|
|
"When we were married everyone felt that your position was very high.
|
|
I could not have imagined then that you would want to sell our furniture,
|
|
and take a house in Bride Street, where the rooms are like cages.
|
|
If we are to live in that way let us at least leave Middlemarch."
|
|
|
|
"These would be very strong considerations," said Lydgate,
|
|
half ironically--still there was a withered paleness about his
|
|
lips as he looked at his coffee, and did not drink--"these would
|
|
be very strong considerations if I did not happen to be in debt."
|
|
|
|
"Many persons must have been in debt in the same way, but if they
|
|
are respectable, people trust them. I am sure I have heard papa
|
|
say that the Torbits were in debt, and they went on very well It
|
|
cannot be good to act rashly," said Rosamond, with serene wisdom.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate sat paralyzed by opposing impulses: since no reasoning
|
|
he could apply to Rosamond seemed likely to conquer her assent,
|
|
he wanted to smash and grind some object on which he could at least
|
|
produce an impression, or else to tell her brutally that he was master,
|
|
and she must obey. But he not only dreaded the effect of such
|
|
extremities on their mutual life--he had a growing dread of Rosamond's
|
|
quiet elusive obstinacy, which would not allow any assertion of power
|
|
to be final; and again, she had touched him in a spot of keenest
|
|
feeling by implying that she had been deluded with a false vision
|
|
of happiness in marrying him. As to saying that he was master,
|
|
it was not the fact. The very resolution to which he had wrought
|
|
himself by dint of logic and honorable pride was beginning to relax
|
|
under her torpedo contact. He swallowed half his cup of coffee,
|
|
and then rose to go.
|
|
|
|
"I may at least request that you will not go to Trumbull at present--
|
|
until it has been seen that there are no other means," said Rosamond.
|
|
Although she was not subject to much fear, she felt it safer not
|
|
to betray that she had written to Sir Godwin. "Promise me that you
|
|
will not go to him for a few weeks, or without telling me."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate gave a short laugh. "I think it is I who should exact
|
|
a promise that you will do nothing without telling me," he said,
|
|
turning his eyes sharply upon her, and then moving to the door.
|
|
|
|
"You remember that we are going to dine at papa's," said Rosamond,
|
|
wishing that he should turn and make a more thorough concession
|
|
to her. But he only said "Oh yes," impatiently, and went away.
|
|
She held it to be very odious in him that he did not think
|
|
the painful propositions he had had to make to her were enough,
|
|
without showing so unpleasant a temper. And when she put the
|
|
moderate request that he would defer going to Trumbull again,
|
|
it was cruel in him not to assure her of what he meant to do.
|
|
She was convinced of her having acted in every way for the best;
|
|
and each grating or angry speech of Lydgate's served only
|
|
as an addition to the register of offences in her mind.
|
|
Poor Rosamond for months had begun to associate her husband with
|
|
feelings of disappointment, and the terribly inflexible relation
|
|
of marriage had lost its charm of encouraging delightful dreams.
|
|
It had freed her from the disagreeables of her father's house,
|
|
but it had not given her everything that she had wished and hoped.
|
|
The Lydgate with whom she had been in love had been a group of airy
|
|
conditions for her, most of which had disappeared, while their
|
|
place had been taken by every-day details which must be lived
|
|
through slowly from hour to hour, not floated through with a rapid
|
|
selection of favorable aspects. The habits of Lydgate's profession,
|
|
his home preoccupation with scientific subjects, which seemed
|
|
to her almost like a morbid vampire's taste, his peculiar views
|
|
of things which had never entered into the dialogue of courtship--
|
|
all these continually alienating influences, even without the fact
|
|
of his having placed himself at a disadvantage in the town,
|
|
and without that first shock of revelation about Dover's debt,
|
|
would have made his presence dull to her. There was another
|
|
presence which ever since the early days of her marriage, until four
|
|
months ago, had been an agreeable excitement, but that was gone:
|
|
Rosamond would not confess to herself how much the consequent blank
|
|
had to do with her utter ennui; and it seemed to her (perhaps
|
|
she was right) that an invitation to Quallingham, and an opening
|
|
for Lydgate to settle elsewhere than in Middlemarch--in London,
|
|
or somewhere likely to be free from unpleasantness--would satisfy her
|
|
quite well, and make her indifferent to the absence of Will Ladislaw,
|
|
towards whom she felt some resentment for his exaltation of
|
|
Mrs. Casaubon.
|
|
|
|
That was the state of things with Lydgate and Rosamond on the New
|
|
Year's Day when they dined at her father's, she looking mildly
|
|
neutral towards him in remembrance of his ill-tempered behavior
|
|
at breakfast, and he carrying a much deeper effect from the inward
|
|
conflict in which that morning scene was only one of many epochs.
|
|
His flushed effort while talking to Mr. Farebrother--his effort after
|
|
the cynical pretence that all ways of getting money are essentially
|
|
the same, and that chance has an empire which reduces choice
|
|
to a fool's illusion--was but the symptom of a wavering resolve,
|
|
a benumbed response to the old stimuli of enthusiasm.
|
|
|
|
What was he to do? He saw even more keenly than Rosamond did
|
|
the dreariness of taking her into the small house in Bride Street,
|
|
where she would have scanty furniture around her and discontent within:
|
|
a life of privation and life with Rosamond were two images which
|
|
had become more and more irreconcilable ever since the threat
|
|
of privation had disclosed itself. But even if his resolves had
|
|
forced the two images into combination, the useful preliminaries
|
|
to that hard change were not visibly within reach. And though
|
|
he had not given the promise which his wife had asked for,
|
|
he did not go again to Trumbull. He even began to think
|
|
of taking a rapid journey to the North and seeing Sir Godwin.
|
|
He had once believed that nothing would urge him into making
|
|
an application for money to his uncle, but he had not then known
|
|
the full pressure of alternatives yet more disagreeable. He could
|
|
not depend on the effect of a letter; it was only in an interview,
|
|
however disagreeable this might be to himself, that he could give
|
|
a thorough explanation and could test the effectiveness of kinship.
|
|
No sooner had Lydgate begun to represent this step to himself as
|
|
the easiest than there was a reaction of anger that he--he who had
|
|
long ago determined to live aloof from such abject calculations,
|
|
such self-interested anxiety about the inclinations and the pockets
|
|
of men with whom he had been proud to have no aims in common--should have
|
|
fallen not simply to their level, but to the level of soliciting them.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXV.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"One of us two must bowen douteless,
|
|
And, sith a man is more reasonable
|
|
Than woman is, ye [men] moste be suffrable.
|
|
--CHAUCER: Canterbury Tales.
|
|
|
|
|
|
The bias of human nature to be slow in correspondence triumphs
|
|
even over the present quickening in the general pace of things:
|
|
what wonder then that in 1832 old Sir Godwin Lydgate was slow
|
|
to write a letter which was of consequence to others rather
|
|
than to himself? Nearly three weeks of the new year were gone,
|
|
and Rosamond, awaiting an answer to her winning appeal, was every
|
|
day disappointed. Lydgate, in total ignorance of her expectations,
|
|
was seeing the bills come in, and feeling that Dover's use of
|
|
his advantage over other creditors was imminent. He had never
|
|
mentioned to Rosamond his brooding purpose of going to Quallingham:
|
|
he did not want to admit what would appear to her a concession
|
|
to her wishes after indignant refusal, until the last moment;
|
|
but he was really expecting to set off soon. A slice of the railway
|
|
would enable him to manage the whole journey and back in four days.
|
|
|
|
But one morning after Lydgate had gone out, a letter came addressed
|
|
to him, which Rosamond saw clearly to be from Sir Godwin. She was full
|
|
of hope. Perhaps there might be a particular note to her enclosed;
|
|
but Lydgate was naturally addressed on the question of money or other aid,
|
|
and the fact that he was written to, nay, the very delay in writing
|
|
at all, seemed to certify that the answer was thoroughly compliant.
|
|
She was too much excited by these thoughts to do anything but light
|
|
stitching in a warm corner of the dining-room, with the outside
|
|
of this momentous letter lying on the table before her. About twelve
|
|
she heard her husband's step in the passage, and tripping to open
|
|
the door, she said in her lightest tones, "Tertius, come in here--
|
|
here is a letter for you."
|
|
|
|
"Ah?" he said, not taking off his hat, but just turning her round
|
|
within his arm to walk towards the spot where the letter lay.
|
|
"My uncle Godwin!" he exclaimed, while Rosamond reseated herself,
|
|
and watched him as he opened the letter. She had expected him to
|
|
be surprised.
|
|
|
|
While Lydgate's eyes glanced rapidly over the brief letter, she saw
|
|
his face, usually of a pale brown, taking on a dry whiteness;
|
|
with nostrils and lips quivering he tossed down the letter before her,
|
|
and said violently--
|
|
|
|
"It will be impossible to endure life with you, if you will always
|
|
be acting secretly--acting in opposition to me and hiding your actions."
|
|
|
|
He checked his speech and turned his back on her--then wheeled
|
|
round and walked about, sat down, and got up again restlessly,
|
|
grasping hard the objects deep down in his pockets. He was afraid
|
|
of saying something irremediably cruel.
|
|
|
|
Rosamond too had changed color as she read. The letter ran
|
|
in this way:--
|
|
|
|
"DEAR TERTIUS,--Don't set your wife to write to me when you have
|
|
anything to ask. It is a roundabout wheedling sort of thing
|
|
which I should not have credited you with. I never choose to write
|
|
to a woman on matters of business. As to my supplying you with a
|
|
thousand pounds, or only half that sum, I can do nothing of the sort.
|
|
My own family drains me to the last penny. With two younger sons
|
|
and three daughters, I am not likely to have cash to spare. You seem
|
|
to have got through your own money pretty quickly, and to have made
|
|
a mess where you are; the sooner you go somewhere else the better.
|
|
But I have nothing to do with men of your profession, and can't
|
|
help you there. I did the best I could for you as guardian,
|
|
and let you have your own way in taking to medicine. You might
|
|
have gone into the army or the Church. Your money would have held
|
|
out for that, and there would have been a surer ladder before you.
|
|
Your uncle Charles has had a grudge against you for not going
|
|
into his profession, but not I. I have always wished you well,
|
|
but you must consider yourself on your own legs entirely now.
|
|
Your affectionate uncle,
|
|
GODWIN LYDGATE."
|
|
|
|
When Rosamond had finished reading the letter she sat quite still,
|
|
with her hands folded before her, restraining any show of her
|
|
keen disappointment, and intrenching herself in quiet passivity
|
|
under her husband's wrath Lydgate paused in his movements,
|
|
looked at her again, and said, with biting severity--
|
|
|
|
"Will this be enough to convince you of the harm you may
|
|
do by secret meddling? Have you sense enough to recognize
|
|
now your incompetence to judge and act for me--to interfere
|
|
with your ignorance in affairs which it belongs to me to decide on?"
|
|
|
|
The words were hard; but this was not the first time that Lydgate
|
|
had been frustrated by her. She did not look at him, and made
|
|
no reply.
|
|
|
|
"I had nearly resolved on going to Quallingham. It would have cost
|
|
me pain enough to do it, yet it might have been of some use.
|
|
But it has been of no use for me to think of anything.
|
|
You have always been counteracting me secretly. You delude me
|
|
with a false assent, and then I am at the mercy of your devices.
|
|
If you mean to resist every wish I express, say so and defy me.
|
|
I shall at least know what I am doing then."
|
|
|
|
It is a terrible moment in young lives when the closeness of love's
|
|
bond has turned to this power of galling. In spite of Rosamond's
|
|
self-control a tear fell silently and rolled over her lips. She still
|
|
said nothing; but under that quietude was hidden an intense effect:
|
|
she was in such entire disgust with her husband that she wished she
|
|
had never seen him. Sir Godwin's rudeness towards her and utter
|
|
want of feeling ranged him with Dover and all other creditors--
|
|
disagreeable people who only thought of themselves, and did not
|
|
mind how annoying they were to her. Even her father was unkind,
|
|
and might have done more for them. In fact there was but one person
|
|
in Rosamond's world whom she did not regard as blameworthy, and that
|
|
was the graceful creature with blond plaits and with little hands
|
|
crossed before her, who had never expressed herself unbecomingly,
|
|
and had always acted for the best--the best naturally being what she
|
|
best liked.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate pausing and looking at her began to feel that half-maddening
|
|
sense of helplessness which comes over passionate people when their
|
|
passion is met by an innocent-looking silence whose meek victimized
|
|
air seems to put them in the wrong, and at last infects even the
|
|
justest indignation with a doubt of its justice. He needed to
|
|
recover the full sense that he was in the right by moderating his words.
|
|
|
|
"Can you not see, Rosamond," he began again, trying to be simply
|
|
grave and not bitter, "that nothing can be so fatal as a want of
|
|
openness and confidence between us? It has happened again and again
|
|
that I have expressed a decided wish, and you have seemed to assent,
|
|
yet after that you have secretly disobeyed my wish. In that way I can
|
|
never know what I have to trust to. There would be some hope for us
|
|
if you would admit this. Am I such an unreasonable, furious brute?
|
|
Why should you not be open with me?" Still silence.
|
|
|
|
"Will you only say that you have been mistaken, and that I may
|
|
depend on your not acting secretly in future?" said Lydgate,
|
|
urgently, but with something of request in his tone which Rosamond
|
|
was quick to perceive. She spoke with coolness.
|
|
|
|
"I cannot possibly make admissions or promises in answer to such
|
|
words as you have used towards me. I have not been accustomed
|
|
to language of that kind. You have spoken of my `secret meddling,'
|
|
and my `interfering ignorance,' and my `false assent.' I have never
|
|
expressed myself in that way to you, and I think that you ought
|
|
to apologize. You spoke of its being impossible to live with me.
|
|
Certainly you have not made my life pleasant to me of late.
|
|
I think it was to be expected that I should try to avert some of
|
|
the hardships which our marriage has brought on me." Another tear
|
|
fell as Rosamond ceased speaking, and she pressed it away as quietly
|
|
as the first.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate flung himself into a chair, feeling checkmated. What place
|
|
was there in her mind for a remonstrance to lodge in? He laid down
|
|
his hat, flung an arm over the back of his chair, and looked down
|
|
for some moments without speaking. Rosamond had the double purchase
|
|
over him of insensibility to the point of justice in his reproach,
|
|
and of sensibility to the undeniable hardships now present in her
|
|
married life. Although her duplicity in the affair of the house
|
|
had exceeded what he knew, and had really hindered the Plymdales
|
|
from knowing of it, she had no consciousness that her action could
|
|
rightly be called false. We are not obliged to identify our own acts
|
|
according to a strict classification, any more than the materials
|
|
of our grocery and clothes. Rosamond felt that she was aggrieved,
|
|
and that this was what Lydgate had to recognize.
|
|
|
|
As for him, the need of accommodating himself to her nature, which was
|
|
inflexible in proportion to its negations, held him as with pincers.
|
|
He had begun to have an alarmed foresight of her irrevocable loss
|
|
of love for him, and the consequent dreariness of their life.
|
|
The ready fulness of his emotions made this dread alternate quickly
|
|
with the first violent movements of his anger. It would assuredly
|
|
have been a vain boast in him to say that he was her master.
|
|
|
|
"You have not made my life pleasant to me of late"--"the hardships
|
|
which our marriage has brought on me"--these words were
|
|
stinging his imagination as a pain makes an exaggerated dream.
|
|
If he were not only to sink from his highest resolve,
|
|
but to sink into the hideous fettering of domestic hate?
|
|
|
|
"Rosamond," he said, turning his eyes on her with a melancholy look,
|
|
"you should allow for a man's words when he is disappointed
|
|
and provoked. You and I cannot have opposite interests.
|
|
I cannot part my happiness from yours. If I am angry with you,
|
|
it is that you seem not to see how any concealment divides us.
|
|
How could I wish to make anything hard to you either by my words
|
|
or conduct? When I hurt you, I hurt part of my own life. I should
|
|
never be angry with you if you would be quite open with me."
|
|
|
|
"I have only wished to prevent you from hurrying us into wretchedness
|
|
without any necessity," said Rosamond, the tears coming again
|
|
from a softened feeling now that her husband had softened.
|
|
"It is so very hard to be disgraced here among all the people we know,
|
|
and to live in such a miserable way. I wish I had died with the baby."
|
|
|
|
She spoke and wept with that gentleness which makes such words
|
|
and tears omnipotent over a loving-hearted man. Lydgate drew
|
|
his chair near to hers and pressed her delicate head against
|
|
his cheek with his powerful tender hand. He only caressed her;
|
|
he did not say anything; for what was there to say? He could not
|
|
promise to shield her from the dreaded wretchedness, for he could
|
|
see no sure means of doing so. When he left her to go out again,
|
|
he told himself that it was ten times harder for her than for him:
|
|
he had a life away from home, and constant appeals to his activity on
|
|
behalf of others. He wished to excuse everything in her if he could--
|
|
but it was inevitable that in that excusing mood he should think
|
|
of her as if she were an animal of another and feebler species.
|
|
Nevertheless she had mastered him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXVI.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"'Tis one thing to be tempted, Escalus,
|
|
Another thing to fall."
|
|
--Measure for Measure.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lydgate certainly had good reason to reflect on the service
|
|
his practice did him in counteracting his personal cares.
|
|
He had no longer free energy enough for spontaneous research and
|
|
speculative thinking, but by the bedside of patients, the direct
|
|
external calls on his judgment and sympathies brought the added
|
|
impulse needed to draw him out of himself. It was not simply
|
|
that beneficent harness of routine which enables silly men to live
|
|
respectably and unhappy men to live calmly--it was a perpetual
|
|
claim on the immediate fresh application of thought, and on the
|
|
consideration of another's need and trial. Many of us looking back
|
|
through life would say that the kindest man we have ever known
|
|
has been a medical man, or perhaps that surgeon whose fine tact,
|
|
directed by deeply informed perception, has come to us in our need
|
|
with a more sublime beneficence than that of miracle-workers. Some
|
|
of that twice-blessed mercy was always with Lydgate in his work at the
|
|
Hospital or in private houses, serving better than any opiate to quiet
|
|
and sustain him under his anxieties and his sense of mental degeneracy.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Farebrother's suspicion as to the opiate was true, however.
|
|
Under the first galling pressure of foreseen difficulties,
|
|
and the first perception that his marriage, if it were not to be
|
|
a yoked loneliness, must be a state of effort to go on loving
|
|
without too much care about being loved, he had once or twice
|
|
tried a dose of opium. But he had no hereditary constitutional
|
|
craving after such transient escapes from the hauntings of misery.
|
|
He was strong, could drink a great deal of wine, but did not care
|
|
about it; and when the men round him were drinking spirits, he took
|
|
sugar and water, having a contemptuous pity even for the earliest
|
|
stages of excitement from drink. It was the same with gambling.
|
|
He had looked on at a great deal of gambling in Paris, watching it
|
|
as if it had been a disease. He was no more tempted by such winning
|
|
than he was by drink. He had said to himself that the only winning
|
|
he cared for must be attained by a conscious process of high,
|
|
difficult combination tending towards a beneficent result.
|
|
The power he longed for could not be represented by agitated fingers
|
|
clutching a heap of coin, or by the half-barbarous, half-idiotic
|
|
triumph in the eyes of a man who sweeps within his arms the ventures
|
|
of twenty chapfallen companions.
|
|
|
|
But just as he had tried opium, so his thought now began to turn
|
|
upon gambling--not with appetite for its excitement, but with a
|
|
sort of wistful inward gaze after that easy way of getting money,
|
|
which implied no asking and brought no responsibility. If he had been
|
|
in London or Paris at that time, it is probable that such thoughts,
|
|
seconded by opportunity, would have taken him into a gambling-house,
|
|
no longer to watch the gamblers, but to watch with them in
|
|
kindred eagerness. Repugnance would have been surmounted by the
|
|
immense need to win, if chance would be kind enough to let him.
|
|
An incident which happened not very long after that airy notion
|
|
of getting aid from his uncle had been excluded, was a strong sign
|
|
of the effect that might have followed any extant opportunity of gambling.
|
|
|
|
The billiard-room at the Green Dragon was the constant resort of
|
|
a certain set, most of whom, like our acquaintance Mr. Bambridge,
|
|
were regarded as men of pleasure. It was here that poor Fred Vincy
|
|
had made part of his memorable debt, having lost money in betting,
|
|
and been obliged to borrow of that gay companion. It was generally known
|
|
in Middlemarch that a good deal of money was lost and won in this way;
|
|
and the consequent repute of the Green Dragon as a place of dissipation
|
|
naturally heightened in some quarters the temptation to go there.
|
|
Probably its regular visitants, like the initiates of freemasonry,
|
|
wished that there were something a little more tremendous to keep
|
|
to themselves concerning it; but they were not a closed community,
|
|
and many decent seniors as well as juniors occasionally turned into
|
|
the billiard-room to see what was going on. Lydgate, who had the
|
|
muscular aptitude for billiards, and was fond of the game, had once
|
|
or twice in the early days after his arrival in Middlemarch taken
|
|
his turn with the cue at the Green Dragon; but afterwards he had no
|
|
leisure for the game, and no inclination for the socialities there.
|
|
One evening, however, he had occasion to seek Mr. Bambridge at
|
|
that resort. The horsedealer had engaged to get him a customer
|
|
for his remaining good horse, for which Lydgate had determined
|
|
to substitute a cheap hack, hoping by this reduction of style
|
|
to get perhaps twenty pounds; and he cared now for every small sum,
|
|
as a help towards feeding the patience of his tradesmen. To run up
|
|
to the billiard-room, as he was passing, would save time.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bambridge was not yet come, bat would be sure to arrive by-and-by,
|
|
said his friend Mr. Horrock; and Lydgate stayed, playing a game
|
|
for the sake of passing the time. That evening he had the peculiar
|
|
light in the eyes and the unusual vivacity which had been once
|
|
noticed in him by Mr. Farebrother. The exceptional fact of his
|
|
presence was much noticed in the room, where there was a good deal
|
|
of Middlemarch company; and several lookers-on, as well as some of
|
|
the players, were betting with animation. Lydgate was playing well,
|
|
and felt confident; the bets were dropping round him, and with a swift
|
|
glancing thought of the probable gain which might double the sum
|
|
he was saving from his horse, he began to bet on his own play,
|
|
and won again and again. Mr. Bambridge had come in, but Lydgate
|
|
did not notice him. He was not only excited with his play,
|
|
but visions were gleaming on him of going the next day to Brassing,
|
|
where there was gambling on a grander scale to be had, and where,
|
|
by one powerful snatch at the devil's bait, he might carry it off
|
|
without the hook, and buy his rescue from his daily solicitings.
|
|
|
|
He was still winning when two new visitors entered. One of them
|
|
was a young Hawley, just come from his law studies in town, and the
|
|
other was Fred Vincy, who had spent several evenings of late at this
|
|
old haunt of his. Young Hawley, an accomplished billiard-player,
|
|
brought a cool fresh hand to the cue. But Fred Vincy, startled at
|
|
seeing Lydgate, and astonished to see him betting with an excited air,
|
|
stood aside, and kept out of the circle round the table.
|
|
|
|
Fred had been rewarding resolution by a little laxity of late.
|
|
He had been working heartily for six months at all outdoor occupations
|
|
under Mr. Garth, and by dint of severe practice had nearly mastered
|
|
the defects of his handwriting, this practice being, perhaps,
|
|
a little the less severe that it was often carried on in the evening
|
|
at Mr. Garth's under the eyes of Mary. But the last fortnight
|
|
Mary had been staying at Lowick Parsonage with the ladies there,
|
|
during Mr. Farebrother's residence in Middlemarch, where he was
|
|
carrying out some parochial plans; and Fred, not seeing anything
|
|
more agreeable to do, had turned into the Green Dragon, partly to
|
|
play at billiards, partly to taste the old flavor of discourse
|
|
about horses, sport, and things in general, considered from a point
|
|
of view which was not strenuously correct. He had not been out
|
|
hunting once this season, had had no horse of his own to ride,
|
|
and had gone from place to place chiefly with Mr. Garth in his gig,
|
|
or on the sober cob which Mr. Garth could lend him. It was a little
|
|
too bad, Fred began to think, that he should be kept in the traces
|
|
with more severity than if he had been a clergyman. "I will tell
|
|
you what, Mistress Mary--it will be rather harder work to learn
|
|
surveying and drawing plans than it would have been to write sermons,"
|
|
he had said, wishing her to appreciate what he went through for
|
|
her sake; "and as to Hercules and Theseus, they were nothing to me.
|
|
They had sport, and never learned to write a bookkeeping hand."
|
|
And now, Mary being out of the way for a little while, Fred,
|
|
like any other strong dog who cannot slip his collar, had pulled
|
|
up the staple of his chain and made a small escape, not of course
|
|
meaning to go fast or far. There could be no reason why he
|
|
should not play at billiards, but he was determined not to bet.
|
|
As to money just now, Fred had in his mind the heroic project of
|
|
saving almost all of the eighty pounds that Mr. Garth offered him,
|
|
and returning it, which he could easily do by giving up all futile
|
|
money-spending, since he had a superfluous stock of clothes,
|
|
and no expense in his board. In that way he could, in one year,
|
|
go a good way towards repaying the ninety pounds of which he had
|
|
deprived Mrs. Garth, unhappily at a time when she needed that sum
|
|
more than she did now. Nevertheless, it must be acknowledged
|
|
that on this evening, which was the fifth of his recent visits
|
|
to the billiard-room, Fred had, not in his pocket, but in his mind,
|
|
the ten pounds which he meant to reserve for himself from his
|
|
half-year's salary (having before him the pleasure of carrying
|
|
thirty to Mrs. Garth when Mary was likely to be come home again)--
|
|
he had those ten pounds in his mind as a fund from which he
|
|
might risk something, if there were a chance of a good bet.
|
|
Why? Well, when sovereigns were flying about, why shouldn't
|
|
he catch a few? He would never go far along that road again;
|
|
but a man likes to assure himself, and men of pleasure generally,
|
|
what he could do in the way of mischief if he chose, and that
|
|
if he abstains from making himself ill, or beggaring himself,
|
|
or talking with the utmost looseness which the narrow limits
|
|
of human capacity will allow, it is not because he is a spooney.
|
|
Fred did not enter into formal reasons, which are a very artificial,
|
|
inexact way of representing the tingling returns of old habit,
|
|
and the caprices of young blood: but there was lurking in him
|
|
a prophetic sense that evening, that when he began to play he should
|
|
also begin to bet--that he should enjoy some punch-drinking, and in
|
|
general prepare himself for feeling "rather seedy" in the morning.
|
|
It is in such indefinable movements that action often begins.
|
|
|
|
But the last thing likely to have entered Fred's expectation
|
|
was that he should see his brother-in-law Lydgate--of whom he
|
|
had never quite dropped the old opinion that he was a prig,
|
|
and tremendously conscious of his superiority--looking excited
|
|
and betting, just as he himself might have done. Fred felt a shock
|
|
greater than he could quite account for by the vague knowledge that
|
|
Lydgate was in debt, and that his father had refused to help him;
|
|
and his own inclination to enter into the play was suddenly checked.
|
|
It was a strange reversal of attitudes: Fred's blond face and blue eyes,
|
|
usually bright and careless, ready to give attention to anything
|
|
that held out a promise of amusement, looking involuntarily grave
|
|
and almost embarrassed as if by the sight of something unfitting;
|
|
while Lydgate, who had habitually an air of self-possessed strength,
|
|
and a certain meditativeness that seemed to lie behind his most
|
|
observant attention, was acting, watching, speaking with that excited
|
|
narrow consciousness which reminds one of an animal with fierce
|
|
eyes and retractile claws.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate, by betting on his own strokes, had won sixteen pounds;
|
|
but young Hawley's arrival had changed the poise of things. He made
|
|
first-rate strokes himself, and began to bet against Lydgate's strokes,
|
|
the strain of whose nerves was thus changed from simple confidence
|
|
in his own movements to defying another person's doubt in them.
|
|
The defiance was more exciting than the confidence, but it was less sure.
|
|
He continued to bet on his own play, but began often to fail. Still he
|
|
went on, for his mind was as utterly narrowed into that precipitous
|
|
crevice of play as if he had been the most ignorant lounger there.
|
|
Fred observed that Lydgate was losing fast, and found himself in the
|
|
new situation of puzzling his brains to think of some device by which,
|
|
without being offensive, he could withdraw Lydgate's attention,
|
|
and perhaps suggest to him a reason for quitting the room. He saw
|
|
that others were observing Lydgate's strange unlikeness to himself,
|
|
and it occurred to him that merely to touch his elbow and call
|
|
him aside for a moment might rouse him from his absorption.
|
|
He could think of nothing cleverer than the daring improbability
|
|
of saying that he wanted to see Rosy, and wished to know if she
|
|
were at home this evening; and he was going desperately to carry
|
|
out this weak device, when a waiter came up to him with a message,
|
|
saying that Mr. Farebrother was below, and begged to speak with him.
|
|
|
|
Fred was surprised, not quite comfortably, but sending word
|
|
that he would be down immediately, he went with a new impulse up
|
|
to Lydgate, said, "Can I speak to you a moment?" and drew him aside.
|
|
|
|
"Farebrother has just sent up a message to say that he wants to speak
|
|
to me. He is below. I thought you might like to know he was there,
|
|
if you had anything to say to him."
|
|
|
|
Fred had simply snatched up this pretext for speaking, because he
|
|
could not say, "You are losing confoundedly, and are making everybody
|
|
stare at you; you had better come away." But inspiration could
|
|
hardly have served him better. Lydgate had not before seen that
|
|
Fred was present, and his sudden appearance with an announcement
|
|
of Mr. Farebrother had the effect of a sharp concussion.
|
|
|
|
"No, no," said Lydgate; "I have nothing particular to say to him.
|
|
But--the game is up--I must be going--I came in just to see Bambridge."
|
|
|
|
"Bambridge is over there, but he is making a row--I don't think
|
|
he's ready for business. Come down with me to Farebrother.
|
|
I expect he is going to blow me up, and you will shield me,"
|
|
said Fred, with some adroitness.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate felt shame, but could not bear to act as if he felt it,
|
|
by refusing to see Mr. Farebrother; and he went down. They merely
|
|
shook hands, however, and spoke of the frost; and when all
|
|
three had turned into the street, the Vicar seemed quite willing
|
|
to say good-by to Lydgate. His present purpose was clearly
|
|
to talk with Fred alone, and he said, kindly, "I disturbed you,
|
|
young gentleman, because I have some pressing business with you.
|
|
Walk with me to St. Botolph's, will you?"
|
|
|
|
It was a fine night, the sky thick with stars, and Mr. Farebrother
|
|
proposed that they should make a circuit to the old church
|
|
by the London road. The next thing he said was--
|
|
|
|
"I thought Lydgate never went to the Green Dragon?"
|
|
|
|
"So did I," said Fred. "But he said that he went to see Bambridge."
|
|
|
|
"He was not playing, then?"
|
|
|
|
Fred had not meant to tell this, but he was obliged now to say,
|
|
"Yes, he was. But I suppose it was an accidental thing. I have
|
|
never seen him there before."
|
|
|
|
"You have been going often yourself, then, lately?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, about five or six times."
|
|
|
|
"I think you had some good reason for giving up the habit of going there?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes. You know all about it," said Fred, not liking to be catechised
|
|
in this way. "I made a clean breast to you."
|
|
|
|
"I suppose that gives me a warrant to speak about the matter now.
|
|
It is understood between us, is it not?--that we are on a footing
|
|
of open friendship: I have listened to you, and you will be
|
|
willing to listen to me. I may take my turn in talking a little
|
|
about myself?"
|
|
|
|
"I am under the deepest obligation to you, Mr. Farebrother,"
|
|
said Fred, in a state of uncomfortable surmise.
|
|
|
|
"I will not affect to deny that you are under some obligation to me.
|
|
But I am going to confess to you, Fred, that I have been tempted
|
|
to reverse all that by keeping silence with you just now.
|
|
When somebody said to me, `Young Vincy has taken to being at the
|
|
billiard-table every night again--he won't bear the curb long;'
|
|
I was tempted to do the opposite of what I am doing--to hold my tongue
|
|
and wait while you went down the ladder again, betting first and then--"
|
|
|
|
"I have not made any bets," said Fred, hastily.
|
|
|
|
"Glad to hear it. But I say, my prompting was to look on and see
|
|
you take the wrong turning, wear out Garth's patience, and lose
|
|
the best opportunity of your life--the opportunity which you made
|
|
some rather difficult effort to secure. You can guess the feeling
|
|
which raised that temptation in me--I am sure you know it.
|
|
I am sure you know that the satisfaction of your affections stands
|
|
in the way of mine."
|
|
|
|
There was a pause. Mr. Farebrother seemed to wait for a recognition
|
|
of the fact; and the emotion perceptible in the tones of his fine
|
|
voice gave solemnity to his words. But no feeling could quell
|
|
Fred's alarm.
|
|
|
|
"I could not be expected to give her up," he said, after a
|
|
moment's hesitation: it was not a case for any pretence of generosity.
|
|
|
|
"Clearly not, when her affection met yours. But relations of this sort,
|
|
even when they are of long standing, are always liable to change.
|
|
I can easily conceive that you might act in a way to loosen the tie
|
|
she feels towards you--it must be remembered that she is only
|
|
conditionally bound to you--and that in that ease, another man,
|
|
who may flatter himself that he has a hold on her regard,
|
|
might succeed in winning that firm place in her love as well
|
|
as respect which you had let slip. I can easily conceive such
|
|
a result," repeated Mr. Farebrother, emphatically. "There is
|
|
a companionship of ready sympathy, which might get the advantage
|
|
even over the longest associations." It seemed to Fred that if
|
|
Mr. Farebrother had had a beak and talons instead of his very
|
|
capable tongue, his mode of attack could hardly be more cruel.
|
|
He had a horrible conviction that behind all this hypothetic
|
|
statement there was a knowledge of some actual change in Mary's feeling.
|
|
|
|
"Of course I know it might easily be all up with me," he said,
|
|
in a troubled voice. "If she is beginning to compare--" He broke off,
|
|
not liking to betray all he felt, and then said, by the help of a
|
|
little bitterness, "But I thought you were friendly to me."
|
|
|
|
"So I am; that is why we are here. But I have had a strong disposition
|
|
to be otherwise. I have said to myself, `If there is a likelihood
|
|
of that youngster doing himself harm, why should you interfere?
|
|
Aren't you worth as much as he is, and don't your sixteen years
|
|
over and above his, in which you have gone rather hungry, give you
|
|
more right to satisfaction than he has? If there's a chance of his
|
|
going to the dogs, let him--perhaps you could nohow hinder it--
|
|
and do you take the benefit.'"
|
|
|
|
There was a pause, in which Fred was seized by a most uncomfortable
|
|
chill. What was coming next? He dreaded to hear that something
|
|
had been said to Mary--he felt as if he were listening to a
|
|
threat rather than a warning. When the Vicar began again there
|
|
was a change in his tone like the encouraging transition to a major key.
|
|
|
|
"But I had once meant better than that, and I am come back to my
|
|
old intention. I thought that I could hardly SECURE MYSELF
|
|
in it better, Fred, than by telling you just what had gone on in me.
|
|
And now, do you understand me? want you to make the happiness of her
|
|
life and your own, and if there is any chance that a word of warning
|
|
from me may turn aside any risk to the contrary--well, I have uttered it."
|
|
|
|
There was a drop in the Vicar's voice when he spoke the last words
|
|
He paused--they were standing on a patch of green where the road
|
|
diverged towards St. Botolph's, and he put out his hand, as if to
|
|
imply that the conversation was closed. Fred was moved quite newly.
|
|
Some one highly susceptible to the contemplation of a fine
|
|
act has said, that it produces a sort of regenerating shudder
|
|
through the frame, and makes one feel ready to begin a new life.
|
|
A good degree of that effect was just then present in Fred Vincy.
|
|
|
|
"I will try to be worthy," he said, breaking off before he could
|
|
say "of you as well as of her." And meanwhile Mr. Farebrother
|
|
had gathered the impulse to say something more.
|
|
|
|
"You must not imagine that I believe there is at present any
|
|
decline in her preference of you, Fred. Set your heart at rest,
|
|
that if you keep right, other things will keep right."
|
|
|
|
"I shall never forget what you have done," Fred answered.
|
|
"I can't say anything that seems worth saying--only I will try
|
|
that your goodness shall not be thrown away."
|
|
|
|
"That's enough. Good-by, and God bless you."
|
|
|
|
In that way they parted. But both of them walked about a long
|
|
while before they went out of the starlight. Much of Fred's
|
|
rumination might be summed up in the words, "It certainly would
|
|
have been a fine thing for her to marry Farebrother--but if she
|
|
loves me best and I am a good husband?"
|
|
|
|
Perhaps Mr. Farebrother's might be concentrated into a single shrug
|
|
and one little speech. "To think of the part one little woman can
|
|
play in the life of a man, so that to renounce her may be a very
|
|
good imitation of heroism, and to win her may be a discipline!"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXVII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Now is there civil war within the soul:
|
|
Resolve is thrust from off the sacred throne
|
|
By clamorous Needs, and Pride the grand-vizier
|
|
Makes humble compact, plays the supple part
|
|
Of envoy and deft-tongued apologist
|
|
For hungry rebels.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Happily Lydgate had ended by losing in the billiard-room, and brought
|
|
away no encouragement to make a raid on luck. On the contrary,
|
|
he felt unmixed disgust with himself the next day when he had to
|
|
pay four or five pounds over and above his gains, and he carried
|
|
about with him a most unpleasant vision of the figure he had made,
|
|
not only rubbing elbows with the men at the Green Dragon but behaving
|
|
just as they did. A philosopher fallen to betting is hardly
|
|
distinguishable from a Philistine under the same circumstances:
|
|
the difference will chiefly be found in his subsequent reflections,
|
|
and Lydgate chewed a very disagreeable cud in that way. His reason
|
|
told him how the affair might have been magnified into ruin by a
|
|
slight change of scenery--if it had been a gambling-house that he
|
|
had turned into, where chance could be clutched with both hands
|
|
instead of being picked up with thumb and fore-finger. Nevertheless,
|
|
though reason strangled the desire to gamble, there remained
|
|
the feeling that, with an assurance of luck to the needful amount,
|
|
he would have liked to gamble, rather than take the alternative
|
|
which was beginning to urge itself as inevitable.
|
|
|
|
That alternative was to apply to Mr. Bulstrode. Lydgate had
|
|
so many times boasted both to himself and others that he was
|
|
totally independent of Bulstrode, to whose plans he had lent
|
|
himself solely because they enabled him to carry out his own ideas
|
|
of professional work and public benefit--he had so constantly
|
|
in their personal intercourse had his pride sustained by the sense
|
|
that he was making a good social use of this predominating banker,
|
|
whose opinions he thought contemptible and whose motives often
|
|
seemed to him an absurd mixture of contradictory impressions--
|
|
that he had been creating for himself strong ideal obstacles
|
|
to the proffering of any considerable request to him on his own account.
|
|
|
|
Still, early in March his affairs were at that pass in which men begin
|
|
to say that their oaths were delivered in ignorance, and to perceive
|
|
that the act which they had called impossible to them is becoming
|
|
manifestly possible. With Dover's ugly security soon to be put
|
|
in force, with the proceeds of his practice immediately absorbed
|
|
in paying back debts, and with the chance, if the worst were known,
|
|
of daily supplies being refused on credit, above all with the
|
|
vision of Rosamond's hopeless discontent continually haunting him,
|
|
Lydgate had begun to see that he should inevitably bend himself to ask
|
|
help from somebody or other. At first he had considered whether he
|
|
should write to Mr. Vincy; but on questioning Rosamond he found that,
|
|
as he had suspected, she had already applied twice to her father,
|
|
the last time being since the disappointment from Sir Godwin;
|
|
and papa had said that Lydgate must look out for himself. "Papa said
|
|
he had come, with one bad year after another, to trade more and
|
|
more on borrowed capital, and had had to give up many indulgences;
|
|
he could not spare a single hundred from the charges of his family.
|
|
He said, let Lydgate ask Bulstrode: they have always been hand
|
|
and glove."
|
|
|
|
Indeed, Lydgate himself had come to the conclusion that if he
|
|
must end by asking for a free loan, his relations with Bulstrode,
|
|
more at least than with any other man, might take the shape of a
|
|
claim which was not purely personal. Bulstrode had indirectly
|
|
helped to cause the failure of his practice, and had also been
|
|
highly gratified by getting a medical partner in his plans:--
|
|
but who among us ever reduced himself to the sort of dependence
|
|
in which Lydgate now stood, without trying to believe that he had
|
|
claims which diminished the humiliation of asking? It was true
|
|
that of late there had seemed to be a new languor of interest
|
|
in Bulstrode about the Hospital; but his health had got worse,
|
|
and showed signs of a deep-seated nervous affection. In other respects
|
|
he did not appear to be changed: he had always been highly polite,
|
|
but Lydgate had observed in him from the first a marked coldness about
|
|
his marriage and other private circumstances, a coldness which he
|
|
had hitherto preferred to any warmth of familiarity between them.
|
|
He deferred the intention from day to day, his habit of acting on his
|
|
conclusions being made infirm by his repugnance to every possible
|
|
conclusion and its consequent act. He saw Mr. Bulstrode often,
|
|
but he did not try to use any occasion for his private purpose.
|
|
At one moment he thought, "I will write a letter: I prefer that to
|
|
any circuitous talk;" at another he thought, "No; if I were talking
|
|
to him, I could make a retreat before any signs of disinclination."
|
|
|
|
Still the days passed and no letter was written, no special
|
|
interview sought. In his shrinking from the humiliation of a
|
|
dependent attitude towards Bulstrode, he began to familiarize his
|
|
imagination with another step even more unlike his remembered self.
|
|
He began spontaneously to consider whether it would be possible
|
|
to carry out that puerile notion of Rosamond's which had often made
|
|
him angry, namely, that they should quit Middlemarch without seeing
|
|
anything beyond that preface. The question came--"Would any man
|
|
buy the practice of me even now, for as little as it is worth?
|
|
Then the sale might happen as a necessary preparation for going away."
|
|
|
|
But against his taking this step, which he still felt to be
|
|
a contemptible relinquishment of present work, a guilty turning
|
|
aside from what was a real and might be a widening channel for
|
|
worthy activity, to start again without any justified destination,
|
|
there was this obstacle, that the purchaser, if procurable at all,
|
|
might not be quickly forthcoming. And afterwards? Rosamond in
|
|
a poor lodging, though in the largest city or most distant town,
|
|
would not find the life that could save her from gloom,
|
|
and save him from the reproach of having plunged her into it.
|
|
For when a man is at the foot of the hill in his fortunes, he may
|
|
stay a long while there in spite of professional accomplishment.
|
|
In the British climate there is no incompatibility between scientific
|
|
insight and furnished lodgings: the incompatibility is chiefly
|
|
between scientific ambition and a wife who objects to that kind
|
|
of residence.
|
|
|
|
But in the midst of his hesitation, opportunity came to decide him.
|
|
A note from Mr. Bulstrode requested Lydgate to call on him at
|
|
the Bank. A hypochondriacal tendency had shown itself in the
|
|
banker's constitution of late; and a lack of sleep, which was
|
|
really only a slight exaggeration of an habitual dyspeptic symptom,
|
|
had been dwelt on by him as a sign of threatening insanity.
|
|
He wanted to consult Lydgate without delay on that particular morning,
|
|
although he had nothing to tell beyond what he had told before.
|
|
He listened eagerly to what Lydgate had to say in dissipation
|
|
of his fears, though this too was only repetition; and this moment
|
|
in which Bulstrode was receiving a medical opinion with a sense
|
|
of comfort, seemed to make the communication of a personal need to
|
|
him easier than it had been in Lydgate's contemplation beforehand.
|
|
He had been insisting that it would be well for Mr. Bulstrode to relax
|
|
his attention to business.
|
|
|
|
"One sees how any mental strain, however slight, may affect
|
|
a delicate frame," said Lydgate at that stage of the consultation
|
|
when the remarks tend to pass from the personal to the general,
|
|
"by the deep stamp which anxiety will make for a time even on
|
|
the young and vigorous. I am naturally very strong; yet I
|
|
have been thoroughly shaken lately by an accumulation of trouble."
|
|
|
|
"I presume that a constitution in the susceptible state in which
|
|
mine at present is, would be especially liable to fall a victim
|
|
to cholera, if it visited our district. And since its appearance
|
|
near London, we may well besiege the Mercy-seat for our protection,"
|
|
said Mr. Bulstrode, not intending to evade Lydgate's allusion,
|
|
but really preoccupied with alarms about himself.
|
|
|
|
"You have at all events taken your share in using good practical
|
|
precautions for the town, and that is the best mode of asking
|
|
for protection," said Lydgate, with a strong distaste for
|
|
the broken metaphor and bad logic of the banker's religion,
|
|
somewhat increased by the apparent deafness of his sympathy.
|
|
But his mind had taken up its long-prepared movement towards
|
|
getting help, and was not yet arrested. He added, "The town
|
|
has done well in the way of cleansing, and finding appliances;
|
|
and I think that if the cholera should come, even our enemies
|
|
will admit that the arrangements in the Hospital are a public good."
|
|
|
|
"Truly," said Mr. Bulstrode, with some coldness. "With regard to
|
|
what you say, Mr. Lydgate, about the relaxation of my mental labor,
|
|
I have for some time been entertaining a purpose to that effect--
|
|
a purpose of a very decided character. I contemplate at least
|
|
a temporary withdrawal from the management of much business,
|
|
whether benevolent or commercial. Also I think of changing my residence
|
|
for a time: probably I shall close or let `The Shrubs,' and take
|
|
some place near the coast--under advice of course as to salubrity.
|
|
That would be a measure which you would recommend?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh yes," said Lydgate, falling backward in his chair,
|
|
with ill-repressed impatience under the banker's pale earnest
|
|
eyes and intense preoccupation with himself.
|
|
|
|
"I have for some time felt that I should open this subject with you in
|
|
relation to our Hospital," continued Bulstrode. "Under the circumstances
|
|
I have indicated, of course I must cease to have any personal share
|
|
in the management, and it is contrary to my views of responsibility
|
|
to continue a large application of means to an institution which I
|
|
cannot watch over and to some extent regulate. I shall therefore,
|
|
in case of my ultimate decision to leave Middlemarch, consider that I
|
|
withdraw other support to the New Hospital than that which will subsist
|
|
in the fact that I chiefly supplied the expenses of building it,
|
|
and have contributed further large sums to its successful working."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate's thought, when Bulstrode paused according to his wont,
|
|
was, "He has perhaps been losing a good deal of money."
|
|
This was the most plausible explanation of a speech which had caused
|
|
rather a startling change in his expectations. He said in reply--
|
|
|
|
"The loss to the Hospital can hardly be made up, I fear."
|
|
|
|
"Hardly," returned Bulstrode, in the same deliberate, silvery tone;
|
|
"except by some changes of plan. The only person who may be certainly
|
|
counted on as willing to increase her contributions is Mrs. Casaubon.
|
|
I have had an interview with her on the subject, and I have pointed
|
|
out to her, as I am about to do to you, that it will be desirable to win
|
|
a more general support to the New Hospital by a change of system."
|
|
Another pause, but Lydgate did not speak.
|
|
|
|
"The change I mean is an amalgamation with the Infirmary,
|
|
so that the New Hospital shall be regarded as a special addition
|
|
to the elder institution, having the same directing board.
|
|
It will be necessary, also, that the medical management of the
|
|
two shall be combined. In this way any difficulty as to the
|
|
adequate maintenance of our new establishment will be removed;
|
|
the benevolent interests of the town will cease to be divided."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode had lowered his eyes from Lydgate's face to the buttons
|
|
of his coat as he again paused.
|
|
|
|
"No doubt that is a good device as to ways and means," said Lydgate,
|
|
with an edge of irony in his tone. "But I can't be expected
|
|
to rejoice in it at once, since one of the first results will be
|
|
that the other medical men will upset or interrupt my methods,
|
|
if it were only because they are mine."
|
|
|
|
"I myself, as you know, Mr. Lydgate, highly valued the opportunity
|
|
of new and independent procedure which you have diligently employed:
|
|
the original plan, I confess, was one which I had much at heart,
|
|
under submission to the Divine Will. But since providential
|
|
indications demand a renunciation from me, I renounce."
|
|
|
|
Bulstrode showed a rather exasperating ability in this conversation.
|
|
The broken metaphor and bad logic of motive which had stirred
|
|
his hearer's contempt were quite consistent with a mode of putting
|
|
the facts which made it difficult for Lydgate to vent his own
|
|
indignation and disappointment. After some rapid reflection,
|
|
he only asked--
|
|
|
|
"What did Mrs. Casaubon say?"
|
|
|
|
"That was the further statement which I wished to make to you,"
|
|
said Bulstrode, who had thoroughly prepared his ministerial explanation.
|
|
"She is, you are aware, a woman of most munificent disposition,
|
|
and happily in possession--not I presume of great wealth, but of
|
|
funds which she can well spare. She has informed me that though
|
|
she has destined the chief part of those funds to another purpose,
|
|
she is willing to consider whether she cannot fully take my place
|
|
in relation to the Hospital. But she wishes for ample time to mature
|
|
her thoughts on the subject, and I have told her that there is no need
|
|
for haste--that, in fact, my own plans are not yet absolute."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate was ready to say, "If Mrs. Casaubon would take your place,
|
|
there would be gain, instead of loss." But there was still
|
|
a weight on his mind which arrested this cheerful candor.
|
|
He replied, "I suppose, then, that I may enter into the subject
|
|
with Mrs. Casaubon."
|
|
|
|
"Precisely; that is what she expressly desires. Her decision,
|
|
she says, will much depend on what you can tell her. But not
|
|
at present: she is, I believe, just setting out on a journey.
|
|
I have her letter here," said Mr. Bulstrode, drawing it out,
|
|
and reading from it. "`I am immediately otherwise engaged,' she says.
|
|
`I am going into Yorkshire with Sir James and Lady Chettam; and the
|
|
conclusions I come to about some land which I am to see there may
|
|
affect my power of contributing to the Hospital.' Thus, Mr. Lydgate,
|
|
there is no haste necessary in this matter; but I wished to apprise
|
|
you beforehand of what may possibly occur."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode returned the letter to his side-pocket, and changed
|
|
his attitude as if his business were closed. Lydgate, whose renewed
|
|
hope about the Hospital only made him more conscious of the facts
|
|
which poisoned his hope, felt that his effort after help, if made
|
|
at all, must be made now and vigorously.
|
|
|
|
"I am much obliged to you for giving me full notice," he said,
|
|
with a firm intention in his tone, yet with an interruptedness in
|
|
his delivery which showed that he spoke unwillingly. "The highest
|
|
object to me is my profession, and I had identified the Hospital with
|
|
the best use I can at present make of my profession. But the best
|
|
use is not always the same with monetary success. Everything which
|
|
has made the Hospital unpopular has helped with other causes--
|
|
I think they are all connected with my professional zeal--to make me
|
|
unpopular as a practitioner. I get chiefly patients who can't pay me.
|
|
I should like them best, if I had nobody to pay on my own side."
|
|
Lydgate waited a little, but Bulstrode only bowed, looking at
|
|
him fixedly, and he went on with the same interrupted enunciation--
|
|
as if he were biting an objectional leek.
|
|
|
|
"I have slipped into money difficulties which I can see no way out of,
|
|
unless some one who trusts me and my future will advance me a sum
|
|
without other security. I had very little fortune left when I
|
|
came here. I have no prospects of money from my own family.
|
|
My expenses, in consequence of my marriage, have been very much
|
|
greater than I had expected. The result at this moment is that it
|
|
would take a thousand pounds to clear me. I mean, to free me from
|
|
the risk of having all my goods sold in security of my largest debt--
|
|
as well as to pay my other debts--and leave anything to keep us
|
|
a little beforehand with our small income. I find that it is out
|
|
of the question that my wife's father should make such an advance.
|
|
That is why I mention my position to--to the only other man who
|
|
may be held to have some personal connection with my prosperity
|
|
or ruin."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate hated to hear himself. But he had spoken now, and had spoken
|
|
with unmistakable directness. Mr. Bulstrode replied without haste,
|
|
but also without hesitation.
|
|
|
|
"I am grieved, though, I confess, not surprised by this information,
|
|
Mr. Lydgate. For my own part, I regretted your alliance with my
|
|
brother-in-law's family, which has always been of prodigal habits,
|
|
and which has already been much indebted to me for sustainment
|
|
in its present position. My advice to you, Mr. Lydgate, would be,
|
|
that instead of involving yourself in further obligations,
|
|
and continuing a doubtful struggle, you should simply become
|
|
a bankrupt."
|
|
|
|
"That would not improve my prospect," said Lydgate, rising and
|
|
speaking bitterly, "even if it were a more agreeable thing in itself."
|
|
|
|
"It is always a trial," said Mr. Bulstrode; "but trial, my dear sir,
|
|
is our portion here, and is a needed corrective. I recommend you
|
|
to weigh the advice I have given."
|
|
|
|
"Thank you," said Lydgate, not quite knowing what he said.
|
|
"I have occupied you too long. Good-day."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXVIII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"What suit of grace hath Virtue to put on
|
|
If Vice shall wear as good, and do as well?
|
|
If Wrong, if Craft, if Indiscretion
|
|
Act as fair parts with ends as laudable?
|
|
Which all this mighty volume of events
|
|
The world, the universal map of deeds,
|
|
Strongly controls, and proves from all descents,
|
|
That the directest course still best succeeds.
|
|
For should not grave and learn'd Experience
|
|
That looks with the eyes of all the world beside,
|
|
And with all ages holds intelligence,
|
|
Go safer than Deceit without a guide!
|
|
--DANIEL: Musophilus.
|
|
|
|
|
|
That change of plan and shifting of interest which Bulstrode stated
|
|
or betrayed in his conversation with Lydgate, had been determined in him
|
|
by some severe experience which he had gone through since the epoch
|
|
of Mr. Larcher's sale, when Raffles had recognized Will Ladislaw,
|
|
and when the banker had in vain attempted an act of restitution
|
|
which might move Divine Providence to arrest painful consequences.
|
|
|
|
His certainty that Raffles, unless he were dead, would return to
|
|
Middlemarch before long, had been justified. On Christmas Eve he
|
|
had reappeared at The Shrubs. Bulstrode was at home to receive him,
|
|
and hinder his communication with the rest of the family, but he
|
|
could not altogether hinder the circumstances of the visit from
|
|
compromising himself and alarming his wife. Raffles proved more
|
|
unmanageable than he had shown himself to be in his former appearances,
|
|
his chronic state of mental restlessness, the growing effect
|
|
of habitual intemperance, quickly shaking off every impression
|
|
from what was said to him. He insisted on staying in the house,
|
|
and Bulstrode, weighing two sets of evils, felt that this was
|
|
at least not a worse alternative than his going into the town.
|
|
He kept him in his own room for the evening and saw him to bed,
|
|
Raffles all the while amusing himself with the annoyance he was
|
|
causing this decent and highly prosperous fellow-sinner, an amusement
|
|
which he facetiously expressed as sympathy with his friend's pleasure
|
|
in entertaining a man who had been serviceable to him, and who had
|
|
not had all his earnings. There was a cunning calculation under this
|
|
noisy joking--a cool resolve to extract something the handsomer
|
|
from Bulstrode as payment for release from this new application
|
|
of torture. But his cunning had a little overcast its mark.
|
|
|
|
Bulstrode was indeed more tortured than the coarse fibre of Raffles could
|
|
enable him to imagine. He had told his wife that he was simply taking
|
|
care of this wretched creature, the victim of vice, who might otherwise
|
|
injure himself; he implied, without the direct form of falsehood,
|
|
that there was a family tie which bound him to this care, and that
|
|
there were signs of mental alienation in Raffles which urged caution.
|
|
He would himself drive the unfortunate being away the next morning.
|
|
In these hints he felt that he was supplying Mrs. Bulstrode
|
|
with precautionary information for his daughters and servants,
|
|
and accounting for his allowing no one but himself to enter the room
|
|
even with food and drink. But he sat in an agony of fear lest Raffles
|
|
should be overheard in his loud and plain references to past facts--
|
|
lest Mrs. Bulstrode should be even tempted to listen at the door.
|
|
How could he hinder her, how betray his terror by opening the door
|
|
to detect her? She was a woman of honest direct habits, and little
|
|
likely to take so low a course in order to arrive at painful knowledge;
|
|
but fear was stronger than the calculation of probabilities.
|
|
|
|
In this way Raffles had pushed the torture too far, and produced
|
|
an effect which had not been in his plan. By showing himself
|
|
hopelessly unmanageable he had made Bulstrode feel that a strong
|
|
defiance was the only resource left. After taking Raffles to bed
|
|
that night the banker ordered his closed carriage to be ready at
|
|
half-past seven the next morning. At six o'clock he had already
|
|
been long dressed, and had spent some of his wretchedness in prayer,
|
|
pleading his motives for averting the worst evil if in anything he had
|
|
used falsity and spoken what was not true before God. For Bulstrode
|
|
shrank from a direct lie with an intensity disproportionate to the
|
|
number of his more indirect misdeeds. But many of these misdeeds
|
|
were like the subtle muscular movements which are not taken account
|
|
of in the consciousness, though they bring about the end that we
|
|
fix our mind on and desire. And it is only what we are vividly
|
|
conscious of that we can vividly imagine to be seen by Omniscience.
|
|
|
|
Bulstrode carried his candle to the bedside of Raffles, who was
|
|
apparently in a painful dream. He stood silent, hoping that the presence
|
|
of the light would serve to waken the sleeper gradually and gently,
|
|
for he feared some noise as the consequence of a too sudden awakening.
|
|
He had watched for a couple of minutes or more the shudderings
|
|
and pantings which seemed likely to end in waking, when Raffles,
|
|
with a long half-stifled moan, started up and stared round him
|
|
in terror, trembling and gasping. But he made no further noise,
|
|
and Bulstrode, setting down the candle, awaited his recovery.
|
|
|
|
It was a quarter of an hour later before Bulstrode, with a cold
|
|
peremptoriness of manner which he had not before shown, said, "I came
|
|
to call you thus early, Mr. Raffles, because I have ordered the carriage
|
|
to be ready at half-past seven, and intend myself to conduct you as far
|
|
as Ilsely, where you can either take the railway or await a coach."
|
|
Raffles was about to speak, but Bulstrode anticipated him imperiously
|
|
with the words, "Be silent, sir, and hear what I have to say.
|
|
I shall supply you with money now, and I will furnish you with a
|
|
reasonable sum from time to time, on your application to me by letter;
|
|
but if you choose to present yourself here again, if you return
|
|
to Middlemarch, if you use your tongue in a manner injurious to me,
|
|
you will have to live on such fruits as your malice can bring you,
|
|
without help from me. Nobody will pay you well for blasting my name:
|
|
I know the worst you can do against me, and I shall brave it if you
|
|
dare to thrust yourself upon me again. Get up, sir, and do as I
|
|
order you, without noise, or I will send for a policeman to take
|
|
you off my premises, and you may carry your stories into every
|
|
pothouse in the town, but you shall have no sixpence from me to pay
|
|
your expenses there."
|
|
|
|
Bulstrode had rarely in his life spoken with such nervous energy:
|
|
he had been deliberating on this speech and its probable effects
|
|
through a large part of the night; and though he did not trust to its
|
|
ultimately saving him from any return of Raffles, he had concluded
|
|
that it was the best throw he could make. It succeeded in enforcing
|
|
submission from the jaded man this morning: his empoisoned system
|
|
at this moment quailed before Bulstrode's cold, resolute bearing,
|
|
and he was taken off quietly in the carriage before the family
|
|
breakfast time. The servants imagined him to be a poor relation,
|
|
and were not surprised that a strict man like their master, who held
|
|
his head high in the world, should be ashamed of such a cousin
|
|
and want to get rid of him. The banker's drive of ten miles with
|
|
his hated companion was a dreary beginning of the Christmas day;
|
|
but at the end of the drive, Raffles had recovered his spirits,
|
|
and parted in a contentment for which there was the good reason
|
|
that the banker had given him a hundred pounds. Various motives
|
|
urged Bulstrode to this open-handedness, but he did not himself
|
|
inquire closely into all of them. As he had stood watching Raffles
|
|
in his uneasy sleep, it had certainly entered his mind that the man
|
|
had been much shattered since the first gift of two hundred pounds.
|
|
|
|
He had taken care to repeat the incisive statement of his resolve
|
|
not to be played on any more; and had tried to penetrate Raffles
|
|
with the fact that he had shown the risks of bribing him to be
|
|
quite equal to the risks of defying him. But when, freed from his
|
|
repulsive presence, Bulstrode returned to his quiet home, he brought
|
|
with him no confidence that he had secured more than a respite.
|
|
It was as if he had had a loathsome dream, and could not shake off
|
|
its images with their hateful kindred of sensations--as if on all
|
|
the pleasant surroundings of his life a dangerous reptile had left
|
|
his slimy traces.
|
|
|
|
Who can know how much of his most inward life is made up of the
|
|
thoughts he believes other men to have about him, until that fabric
|
|
of opinion is threatened with ruin?
|
|
|
|
Bulstrode was only the more conscious that there was a deposit
|
|
of uneasy presentiment in his wife's mind, because she carefully
|
|
avoided any allusion to it. He had been used every day to taste
|
|
the flavor of supremacy and the tribute of complete deference:
|
|
and the certainty that he was watched or measured with a hidden
|
|
suspicion of his having some discreditable secret, made his voice
|
|
totter when he was speaking to edification. Foreseeing, to men
|
|
of Bulstrode's anxious temperament, is often worse than seeing;
|
|
and his imagination continually heightened the anguish of an
|
|
imminent disgrace. Yes, imminent; for if his defiance of Raffles
|
|
did not keep the man away--and though he prayed for this result he
|
|
hardly hoped for it--the disgrace was certain. In vain he said
|
|
to himself that, if permitted, it would be a divine visitation,
|
|
a chastisement, a preparation; he recoiled from the imagined burning;
|
|
and he judged that it must be more for the Divine glory that he
|
|
should escape dishonor. That recoil had at last urged him to make
|
|
preparations for quitting Middlemarch. If evil truth must be reported
|
|
of him, he would then be at a less scorching distance from the
|
|
contempt of his old neighbors; and in a new scene, where his life
|
|
would not have gathered the same wide sensibility, the tormentor,
|
|
if he pursued him, would be less formidable. To leave the place
|
|
finally would, he knew, be extremely painful to his wife, and on other
|
|
grounds he would have preferred to stay where he had struck root.
|
|
Hence he made his preparations at first in a conditional way,
|
|
wishing to leave on all sides an opening for his return after
|
|
brief absence, if any favorable intervention of Providence should
|
|
dissipate his fears. He was preparing to transfer his management
|
|
of the Bank, and to give up any active control of other commercial
|
|
affairs in the neighborhood, on the ground of his failing health,
|
|
but without excluding his future resumption of such work. The measure
|
|
would cause him some added expense and some diminution of income beyond
|
|
what he had already undergone from the general depression of trade;
|
|
and the Hospital presented itself as a principal object of outlay
|
|
on which he could fairly economize.
|
|
|
|
This was the experience which had determined his conversation
|
|
with Lydgate. But at this time his arrangements had most of them
|
|
gone no farther than a stage at which he could recall them if they
|
|
proved to be unnecessary. He continually deferred the final steps;
|
|
in the midst of his fears, like many a man who is in danger of
|
|
shipwreck or of being dashed from his carriage by runaway horses,
|
|
he had a clinging impression that something would happen to hinder
|
|
the worst, and that to spoil his life by a late transplantation
|
|
might be over-hasty--especially since it was difficult to account
|
|
satisfactorily to his wife for the project of their indefinite exile
|
|
from the only place where she would like to live.
|
|
|
|
Among the affairs Bulstrode had to care for, was the management
|
|
of the farm at Stone Court in case of his absence; and on this
|
|
as well as on all other matters connected with any houses and land
|
|
he possessed in or about Middlemarch, he had consulted Caleb Garth.
|
|
Like every one else who had business of that sort, he wanted to get the
|
|
agent who was more anxious for his employer's interests than his own.
|
|
With regard to Stone Court, since Bulstrode wished to retain his hold
|
|
on the stock, and to have an arrangement by which he himself could,
|
|
if he chose, resume his favorite recreation of superintendence,
|
|
Caleb had advised him not to trust to a mere bailiff, but to let
|
|
the land, stock, and implements yearly, and take a proportionate
|
|
share of the proceeds.
|
|
|
|
"May I trust to you to find me a tenant on these terms, Mr. Garth?"
|
|
said Bulstrode. "And will you mention to me the yearly sum
|
|
which would repay you for managing these affairs which we have
|
|
discussed together?"
|
|
|
|
"I'll think about it," said Caleb, in his blunt way. "I'll see
|
|
how I can make it out."
|
|
|
|
If it had not been that he had to consider Fred Vincy's future,
|
|
Mr. Garth would not probably have been glad of any addition to his work,
|
|
of which his wife was always fearing an excess for him as he grew older.
|
|
But on quitting Bulstrode after that conversation, a very alluring
|
|
idea occurred to him about this said letting of Stone Court.
|
|
What if Bulstrode would agree to his placing Fred Vincy there
|
|
on the understanding that he, Caleb Garth, should be responsible
|
|
for the management? It would be an excellent schooling for Fred;
|
|
he might make a modest income there, and still have time left to get
|
|
knowledge by helping in other business. He mentioned his notion
|
|
to Mrs. Garth with such evident delight that she could not bear
|
|
to chill his pleasure by expressing her constant fear of his
|
|
undertaking too much.
|
|
|
|
"The lad would be as happy as two," he said, throwing himself
|
|
back in his chair, and looking radiant, "if I could tell him it
|
|
was all settled. Think; Susan! His mind had been running on
|
|
that place for years before old Featherstone died. And it would
|
|
be as pretty a turn of things as could be that he should hold
|
|
the place in a good industrious way after all--by his taking
|
|
to business. For it's likely enough Bulstrode might let him go on,
|
|
and gradually buy the stock. He hasn't made up his mind, I can see,
|
|
whether or not he shall settle somewhere else as a lasting thing.
|
|
I never was better pleased with a notion in my life. And then
|
|
the children might be married by-and-by, Susan."
|
|
|
|
"You will not give any hint of the plan to Fred, until you are
|
|
sure that Bulstrode would agree to the plan?" said Mrs. Garth,
|
|
in a tone of gentle caution. "And as to marriage, Caleb, we old
|
|
people need not help to hasten it."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I don't know," said Caleb, swinging his head aside.
|
|
"Marriage is a taming thing. Fred would want less of my bit
|
|
and bridle. However, I shall say nothing till I know the ground
|
|
I'm treading on. I shall speak to Bulstrode again."
|
|
|
|
He took his earliest opportunity of doing so. Bulstrode had anything
|
|
but a warm interest in his nephew Fred Vincy, but he had a strong
|
|
wish to secure Mr. Garth's services on many scattered points of
|
|
business at which he was sure to be a considerable loser, if they
|
|
were under less conscientious management. On that ground he made
|
|
no objection to Mr. Garth's proposal; and there was also another
|
|
reason why he was not sorry to give a consent which was to benefit
|
|
one of the Vincy family. It was that Mrs. Bulstrode, having heard
|
|
of Lydgate's debts, had been anxious to know whether her husband could
|
|
not do something for poor Rosamond, and had been much troubled on
|
|
learning from him that Lydgate's affairs were not easily remediable,
|
|
and that the wisest plan was to let them "take their course."
|
|
Mrs. Bulstrode had then said for the first time, "I think you are
|
|
always a little hard towards my family, Nicholas. And I am sure I
|
|
have no reason to deny any of my relatives. Too worldly they may be,
|
|
but no one ever had to say that they were not respectable."
|
|
|
|
"My dear Harriet," said Mr. Bulstrode, wincing under his wife's eyes,
|
|
which were filling with tears, "I have supplied your brother
|
|
with a great deal of capital. I cannot be expected to take care
|
|
of his married children."
|
|
|
|
That seemed to be true, and Mrs. Bulstrode's remonstrance subsided
|
|
into pity for poor Rosamond, whose extravagant education she had
|
|
always foreseen the fruits of.
|
|
|
|
But remembering that dialogue, Mr. Bulstrode felt that when he had
|
|
to talk to his wife fully about his plan of quitting Middlemarch,
|
|
he should be glad to tell her that he had made an arrangement
|
|
which might be for the good of her nephew Fred. At present he had
|
|
merely mentioned to her that he thought of shutting up The Shrubs
|
|
for a few months, and taking a house on the Southern Coast.
|
|
|
|
Hence Mr. Garth got the assurance he desired, namely, that in case
|
|
of Bulstrode's departure from Middlemarch for an indefinite time,
|
|
Fred Vincy should be allowed to have the tenancy of Stone Court on
|
|
the terms proposed.
|
|
|
|
Caleb was so elated with his hope of this "neat turn" being given
|
|
to things, that if his self-control had not been braced by a little
|
|
affectionate wifely scolding, he would have betrayed everything to Mary,
|
|
wanting "to give the child comfort." However, he restrained himself,
|
|
and kept in strict privacy from Fred certain visits which he
|
|
was making to Stone Court, in order to look more thoroughly into
|
|
the state of the land and stock, and take a preliminary estimate.
|
|
He was certainly more eager in these visits than the probable speed
|
|
of events required him to be; but he was stimulated by a fatherly
|
|
delight in occupying his mind with this bit of probable happiness
|
|
which he held in store like a hidden birthday gift for Fred and Mary.
|
|
|
|
"But suppose the whole scheme should turn out to be a castle
|
|
in the air?" said Mrs. Garth.
|
|
|
|
"Well, well," replied Caleb; "the castle will tumble about nobody's head."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXIX.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"If thou hast heard a word, let it die with thee."
|
|
--Ecclesiasticus.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode was still seated in his manager's room at the Bank,
|
|
about three o'clock of the same day on which he had received Lydgate
|
|
there, when the clerk entered to say that his horse was waiting,
|
|
and also that Mr. Garth was outside and begged to speak with him.
|
|
|
|
"By all means," said Bulstrode; and Caleb entered. "Pray sit down,
|
|
Mr. Garth," continued the banker, in his suavest tone.
|
|
|
|
"I am glad that you arrived just in time to find me here.
|
|
I know you count your minutes."
|
|
|
|
"Oh," said Caleb, gently, with a slow swing of his head on one side,
|
|
as he seated himself and laid his hat on the floor.
|
|
|
|
He looked at the ground, leaning forward and letting his long fingers
|
|
droop between his legs, while each finger moved in succession,
|
|
as if it were sharing some thought which filled his large quiet brow.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode, like every one else who knew Caleb, was used
|
|
to his slowness in beginning to speak on any topic which he felt
|
|
to be important, and rather expected that he was about to recur
|
|
to the buying of some houses in Blindman's Court, for the sake
|
|
of pulling them down, as a sacrifice of property which would be
|
|
well repaid by the influx of air and light on that spot. It was
|
|
by propositions of this kind that Caleb was sometimes troublesome
|
|
to his employers; but he had usually found Bulstrode ready to meet
|
|
him in projects of improvement, and they had got on well together.
|
|
When he spoke again, however, it was to say, in rather a subdued voice--
|
|
|
|
"I have just come away from Stone Court, Mr. Bulstrode."
|
|
|
|
"You found nothing wrong there, I hope," said the banker; "I was
|
|
there myself yesterday. Abel has done well with the lambs this year."
|
|
|
|
"Why, yes," said Caleb, looking up gravely, "there is something wrong--
|
|
a stranger, who is very ill, I think. He wants a doctor, and I came
|
|
to tell you of that. His name is Raffles."
|
|
|
|
He saw the shock of his words passing through Bulstrode's frame.
|
|
On this subject the banker had thought that his fears were too constantly
|
|
on the watch to be taken by surprise; but he had been mistaken.
|
|
|
|
"Poor wretch!" he said in a compassionate tone, though his lips
|
|
trembled a little. "Do you know how he came there?"
|
|
|
|
"I took him myself," said Caleb, quietly--"took him up in my gig.
|
|
He had got down from the coach, and was walking a little
|
|
beyond the turning from the toll-house, and I overtook him.
|
|
He remembered seeing me with you once before, at Stone Court,
|
|
and he asked me to take him on. I saw he was ill: it seemed
|
|
to me the right thing to do, to carry him under shelter.
|
|
And now I think you should lose no time in getting advice for him."
|
|
Caleb took up his hat from the floor as he ended, and rose slowly
|
|
from his seat.
|
|
|
|
"Certainly," said Bulstrode, whose mind was very active at this moment.
|
|
"Perhaps you will yourself oblige me, Mr. Garth, by calling at
|
|
Mr. Lydgate's as you pass--or stay! he may at this hour probably
|
|
be at the Hospital. I will first send my man on the horse there
|
|
with a note this instant, and then I will myself ride to Stone Court."
|
|
|
|
Bulstrode quickly wrote a note, and went out himself to give
|
|
the commission to his man. When he returned, Caleb was standing
|
|
as before with one hand on the back of the chair, holding his hat
|
|
with the other. In Bulstrode's mind the dominant thought was,
|
|
"Perhaps Raffles only spoke to Garth of his illness. Garth may wonder,
|
|
as he must have done before, at this disreputable fellow's claiming
|
|
intimacy with me; but he will know nothing. And he is friendly to me--
|
|
I can be of use to him."
|
|
|
|
He longed for some confirmation of this hopeful conjecture,
|
|
but to have asked any question as to what Raffles had said or done
|
|
would have been to betray fear.
|
|
|
|
"I am exceedingly obliged to you, Mr. Garth," he said, in his usual
|
|
tone of politeness. "My servant will be back in a few minutes,
|
|
and I shall then go myself to see what can be done for this
|
|
unfortunate man. Perhaps you had some other business with me?
|
|
If so, pray be seated."
|
|
|
|
"Thank you," said Caleb, making a slight gesture with his right
|
|
hand to waive the invitation. "I wish to say, Mr. Bulstrode,
|
|
that I must request you to put your business into some other hands
|
|
than mine. I am obliged to you for your handsome way of meeting me--
|
|
about the letting of Stone Court, and all other business.
|
|
But I must give it up." A sharp certainty entered like a stab into
|
|
Bulstrode's soul.
|
|
|
|
"This is sudden, Mr. Garth," was all he could say at first.
|
|
|
|
"It is," said Caleb; "but it is quite fixed. I must give it up."
|
|
|
|
He spoke with a firmness which was very gentle, and yet he could see
|
|
that Bulstrode seemed to cower under that gentleness, his face looking
|
|
dried and his eyes swerving away from the glance which rested on him.
|
|
Caleb felt a deep pity for him, but he could have used no pretexts
|
|
to account for his resolve, even if they would have been of any use.
|
|
|
|
"You have been led to this, I apprehend, by some slanders
|
|
concerning me uttered by that unhappy creature," said Bulstrode,
|
|
anxious now to know the utmost.
|
|
|
|
"That is true. I can't deny that I act upon what I heard from him."
|
|
|
|
"You are a conscientious man, Mr. Garth--a man, I trust,
|
|
who feels himself accountable to God. You would not wish to injure
|
|
me by being too ready to believe a slander," said Bulstrode,
|
|
casting about for pleas that might be adapted to his hearer's mind.
|
|
"That is a poor reason for giving up a connection which I think
|
|
I may say will be mutually beneficial."
|
|
|
|
"I would injure no man if I could help it," said Caleb; "even if I
|
|
thought God winked at it. I hope I should have a feeling for my
|
|
fellow-creature. But, sir--I am obliged to believe that this Raffles
|
|
has told me the truth. And I can't be happy in working with you,
|
|
or profiting by you. It hurts my mind. I must beg you to seek
|
|
another agent."
|
|
|
|
"Very well, Mr. Garth. But I must at least claim to know the worst
|
|
that he has told you. I must know what is the foul speech that I
|
|
am liable to be the victim of," said Bulstrode, a certain amount
|
|
of anger beginning to mingle with his humiliation before this quiet
|
|
man who renounced his benefits.
|
|
|
|
"That's needless," said Caleb, waving his hand, bowing his head slightly,
|
|
and not swerving from the tone which had in it the merciful intention
|
|
to spare this pitiable man. "What he has said to me will never
|
|
pass from my lips, unless something now unknown forces it from me.
|
|
If you led a harmful life for gain, and kept others out of their
|
|
rights by deceit, to get the more for yourself, I dare say you repent--
|
|
you would like to go back, and can't: that must be a bitter thing"--
|
|
Caleb paused a moment and shook his head--"it is not for me to make
|
|
your life harder to you."
|
|
|
|
"But you do--you do make it harder to me," said Bulstrode constrained
|
|
into a genuine, pleading cry. "You make it harder to me by turning
|
|
your back on me."
|
|
|
|
"That I'm forced to do," said Caleb, still more gently, lifting up
|
|
his hand. "I am sorry. I don't judge you and say, he is wicked,
|
|
and I am righteous. God forbid. I don't know everything. A man
|
|
may do wrong, and his will may rise clear out of it, though he can't
|
|
get his life clear. That's a bad punishment. If it is so with you,--
|
|
well, I'm very sorry for you. But I have that feeling inside me,
|
|
that I can't go on working with you. That's all, Mr. Bulstrode.
|
|
Everything else is buried, so far as my will goes. And I wish
|
|
you good-day."
|
|
|
|
"One moment, Mr. Garth!" said Bulstrode, hurriedly. "I may trust
|
|
then to your solemn assurance that you will not repeat either
|
|
to man or woman what--even if it have any degree of truth in it--
|
|
is yet a malicious representation?" Caleb's wrath was stirred,
|
|
and he said, indignantly--
|
|
|
|
"Why should I have said it if I didn't mean it? I am in no fear
|
|
of you. Such tales as that will never tempt my tongue."
|
|
|
|
"Excuse me--I am agitated--I am the victim of this abandoned man."
|
|
|
|
"Stop a bit! you have got to consider whether you didn't help
|
|
to make him worse, when you profited by his vices."
|
|
|
|
"You are wronging me by too readily believing him," said Bulstrode,
|
|
oppressed, as by a nightmare, with the inability to deny flatly
|
|
what Raffles might have said; and yet feeling it an escape
|
|
that Caleb had not so stated it to him as to ask for that flat denial.
|
|
|
|
"No," said Caleb, lifting his hand deprecatingly; "I am ready to
|
|
believe better, when better is proved. I rob you of no good chance.
|
|
As to speaking, I hold it a crime to expose a man's sin unless
|
|
I'm clear it must be done to save the innocent. That is my way
|
|
of thinking, Mr. Bulstrode, and what I say, I've no need to swear.
|
|
I wish you good-day."
|
|
|
|
Some hours later, when he was at home, Caleb said to his wife,
|
|
incidentally, that he had had some little differences with Bulstrode,
|
|
and that in consequence, he had given up all notion of taking
|
|
Stone Court, and indeed had resigned doing further business for him.
|
|
|
|
"He was disposed to interfere too much, was he?" said Mrs. Garth,
|
|
imagining that her husband had been touched on his sensitive point,
|
|
and not been allowed to do what he thought right as to materials
|
|
and modes of work.
|
|
|
|
"Oh," said Caleb, bowing his head and waving his hand gravely.
|
|
And Mrs. Garth knew that this was a sign of his not intending to speak
|
|
further on the subject.
|
|
|
|
As for Bulstrode, he had almost immediately mounted his horse and set
|
|
off for Stone Court, being anxious to arrive there before Lydgate.
|
|
|
|
His mind was crowded with images and conjectures, which were a language
|
|
to his hopes and fears, just as we hear tones from the vibrations
|
|
which shake our whole system. The deep humiliation with which he
|
|
had winced under Caleb Garth's knowledge of his past and rejection
|
|
of his patronage, alternated with and almost gave way to the sense
|
|
of safety in the fact that Garth, and no other, had been the man
|
|
to whom Raffles had spoken. It seemed to him a sort of earnest
|
|
that Providence intended his rescue from worse consequences;
|
|
the way being thus left open for the hope of secrecy. That Raffles
|
|
should be afflicted with illness, that he should have been led
|
|
to Stone Court rather than elsewhere--Bulstrode's heart fluttered
|
|
at the vision of probabilities which these events conjured up.
|
|
If it should turn out that he was freed from all danger of disgrace--
|
|
if he could breathe in perfect liberty--his life should be more
|
|
consecrated than it had ever been before. He mentally lifted
|
|
up this vow as if it would urge the result he longed for--
|
|
he tried to believe in the potency of that prayerful resolution--
|
|
its potency to determine death. He knew that he ought to say,
|
|
"Thy will be done;" and he said it often. But the intense desire
|
|
remained that the will of God might be the death of that hated man.
|
|
|
|
Yet when he arrived at Stone Court he could not see the change
|
|
in Raffles without a shock. But for his pallor and feebleness,
|
|
Bulstrode would have called the change in him entirely mental.
|
|
Instead of his loud tormenting mood, he showed an intense, vague terror,
|
|
and seemed to deprecate Bulstrode's anger, because the money was
|
|
all gone--he had been robbed--it had half of it been taken from him.
|
|
He had only come here because he was ill and somebody was hunting him--
|
|
somebody was after him he had told nobody anything, he had kept
|
|
his mouth shut. Bulstrode, not knowing the significance of
|
|
these symptoms, interpreted this new nervous susceptibility into
|
|
a means of alarming Raffles into true confessions, and taxed him
|
|
with falsehood in saying that he had not told anything, since he
|
|
had just told the man who took him up in his gig and brought him
|
|
to Stone Court. Raffles denied this with solemn adjurations;
|
|
the fact being that the links of consciousness were interrupted in him,
|
|
and that his minute terror-stricken narrative to Caleb Garth had been
|
|
delivered under a set of visionary impulses which had dropped back
|
|
into darkness.
|
|
|
|
Bulstrode's heart sank again at this sign that he could get no
|
|
grasp over the wretched man's mind, and that no word of Raffles
|
|
could be trusted as to the fact which he most wanted to know,
|
|
namely, whether or not he had really kept silence to every one in
|
|
the neighborhood except Caleb Garth. The housekeeper had told him
|
|
without the least constraint of manner that since Mr. Garth left,
|
|
Raffles had asked her for beer, and after that had not spoken,
|
|
seeming very ill. On that side it might be concluded that there
|
|
had been no betrayal. Mrs. Abel thought, like the servants at
|
|
The Shrubs, that the strange man belonged to the unpleasant "kin"
|
|
who are among the troubles of the rich; she had at first referred
|
|
the kinship to Mr. Rigg, and where there was property left,
|
|
the buzzing presence of such large blue-bottles seemed natural enough.
|
|
How he could be "kin" to Bulstrode as well was not so clear,
|
|
but Mrs. Abel agreed with her husband that there was "no knowing,"
|
|
a proposition which had a great deal of mental food for her,
|
|
so that she shook her head over it without further speculation.
|
|
|
|
In less than an hour Lydgate arrived. Bulstrode met him outside
|
|
the wainscoted parlor, where Raffles was, and said--
|
|
|
|
"I have called you in, Mr. Lydgate, to an unfortunate man who was once
|
|
in my employment, many years ago. Afterwards he went to America,
|
|
and returned I fear to an idle dissolute life. Being destitute,
|
|
he has a claim on me. He was slightly connected with Rigg,
|
|
the former owner of this place, and in consequence found his way here.
|
|
I believe he is seriously ill: apparently his mind is affected.
|
|
I feel bound to do the utmost for him."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate, who had the remembrance of his last conversation with
|
|
Bulstrode strongly upon him, was not disposed to say an unnecessary
|
|
word to him, and bowed slightly in answer to this account;
|
|
but just before entering the room he turned automatically
|
|
and said, "What is his name?"--to know names being as much a part
|
|
of the medical man's accomplishment as of the practical politician's.
|
|
|
|
"Raffles, John Raffles," said Bulstrode, who hoped that whatever
|
|
became of Raffles, Lydgate would never know any more of him.
|
|
|
|
When he had thoroughly examined and considered the patient, Lydgate
|
|
ordered that he should go to bed, and be kept there in as complete
|
|
quiet as possible, and then went with Bulstrode into another room.
|
|
|
|
"It is a serious case, I apprehend," said the banker, before Lydgate
|
|
began to speak.
|
|
|
|
"No--and yes," said Lydgate, half dubiously. "It is difficult
|
|
to decide as to the possible effect of long-standing complications;
|
|
but the man had a robust constitution to begin with. I should not
|
|
expect this attack to be fatal, though of course the system is
|
|
in a ticklish state. He should be well watched and attended to."
|
|
|
|
"I will remain here myself," said Bulstrode. "Mrs. Abel and her
|
|
husband are inexperienced. I can easily remain here for the night,
|
|
if you will oblige me by taking a note for Mrs. Bulstrode."
|
|
|
|
"I should think that is hardly necessary," said Lydgate. "He seems
|
|
tame and terrified enough. He might become more unmanageable.
|
|
But there is a man here--is there not?"
|
|
|
|
"I have more than once stayed here a few nights for the sake
|
|
of seclusion," said Bulstrode, indifferently; "I am quite disposed
|
|
to do so now. Mrs. Abel and her husband can relieve or aid me,
|
|
if necessary."
|
|
|
|
"Very well. Then I need give my directions only to you," said Lydgate,
|
|
not feeling surprised at a little peculiarity in Bulstrode.
|
|
|
|
"You think, then, that the case is hopeful?" said Bulstrode,
|
|
when Lydgate had ended giving his orders.
|
|
|
|
"Unless there turn out to be further complications, such as I
|
|
have not at present detected--yes," said Lydgate. "He may pass
|
|
on to a worse stage; but I should not wonder if ho got better
|
|
in a few days, by adhering to the treatment I have prescribed.
|
|
There must be firmness. Remember, if he calls for liquors of any sort,
|
|
not to give them to him. In my opinion, men in his condition are
|
|
oftener killed by treatment than by the disease. Still, new symptoms
|
|
may arise. I shall come again to-morrow morning."
|
|
|
|
After waiting for the note to be carried to Mrs. Bulstrode,
|
|
Lydgate rode away, forming no conjectures, in the first instance,
|
|
about the history of Raffles, but rehearsing the whole argument,
|
|
which had lately been much stirred by the publication of Dr. Ware's
|
|
abundant experience in America, as to the right way of treating
|
|
cases of alcoholic poisoning such as this. Lydgate, when abroad,
|
|
had already been interested in this question: he was strongly
|
|
convinced against the prevalent practice of allowing alcohol
|
|
and persistently administering large doses of opium; and he had
|
|
repeatedly acted on this conviction with a favorable result.
|
|
|
|
"The man is in a diseased state," he thought, "but there's a good deal
|
|
of wear in him still. I suppose he is an object of charity to Bulstrode.
|
|
It is curious what patches of hardness and tenderness lie side by
|
|
side in men's dispositions. Bulstrode seems the most unsympathetic
|
|
fellow I ever saw about some people, and yet he has taken no end
|
|
of trouble, and spent a great deal of money, on benevolent objects.
|
|
I suppose he has some test by which he finds out whom Heaven
|
|
cares for--he has made up his mind that it doesn't care for me."
|
|
|
|
This streak of bitterness came from a plenteous source, and kept
|
|
widening in the current of his thought as he neared Lowick Gate.
|
|
He had not been there since his first interview with Bulstrode
|
|
in the morning, having been found at the Hospital by the banker's
|
|
messenger; and for the first time he was returning to his home
|
|
without the vision of any expedient in the background which left
|
|
him a hope of raising money enough to deliver him from the coming
|
|
destitution of everything which made his married life tolerable--
|
|
everything which saved him and Rosamond from that bare isolation
|
|
in which they would be forced to recognize how little of a comfort
|
|
they could be to each other. It was more bearable to do without
|
|
tenderness for himself than to see that his own tenderness could
|
|
make no amends for the lack of other things to her. The sufferings
|
|
of his own pride from humiliations past and to come were keen enough,
|
|
yet they were hardly distinguishable to himself from that more acute
|
|
pain which dominated them--the pain of foreseeing that Rosamond
|
|
would come to regard him chiefly as the cause of disappointment and
|
|
unhappiness to her. He had never liked the makeshifts of poverty,
|
|
and they had never before entered into his prospects for himself;
|
|
but he was beginning now to imagine how two creatures who loved
|
|
each other, and had a stock of thoughts in common, might laugh
|
|
over their shabby furniture, and their calculations how far they
|
|
could afford butter and eggs. But the glimpse of that poetry
|
|
seemed as far off from him as the carelessness of the golden age;
|
|
in poor Rosamond's mind there was not room enough for luxuries to look
|
|
small in. He got down from his horse in a very sad mood, and went
|
|
into the house, not expecting to be cheered except by his dinner,
|
|
and reflecting that before the evening closed it would be wise
|
|
to tell Rosamond of his application to Bulstrode and its failure.
|
|
It would be well not to lose time in preparing her for the worst.
|
|
|
|
But his dinner waited long for him before he was able to eat it.
|
|
For on entering he found that Dover's agent had already put a man
|
|
in the house, and when he asked where Mrs. Lydgate was, he was told
|
|
that she was in her bedroom. He went up and found her stretched
|
|
on the bed pale and silent, without an answer even in her face
|
|
to any word or look of his. He sat down by the bed and leaning
|
|
over her said with almost a cry of prayer--
|
|
|
|
"Forgive me for this misery, my poor Rosamond! Let us only love
|
|
one another."
|
|
|
|
She looked at him silently, still with the blank despair on her face;
|
|
but then the tears began to fill her blue eyes, and her lip trembled.
|
|
The strong man had had too much to bear that day. He let his head
|
|
fall beside hers and sobbed.
|
|
|
|
He did not hinder her from going to her father early in the morning--
|
|
it seemed now that he ought not to hinder her from doing as she pleased.
|
|
In half an hour she came back, and said that papa and mamma wished her
|
|
to go and stay with them while things were in this miserable state.
|
|
Papa said he could do nothing about the debt--if he paid this,
|
|
there would be half-a-dozen more. She had better come back
|
|
home again till Lydgate had got a comfortable home for her.
|
|
"Do you object, Tertius?"
|
|
|
|
"Do as you like," said Lydgate. "But things are not coming
|
|
to a crisis immediately. There is no hurry."
|
|
|
|
"I should not go till to-morrow," said Rosamond; "I shall want
|
|
to pack my clothes."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I would wait a little longer than to-morrow--there is no
|
|
knowing what may happen," said Lydgate, with bitter irony.
|
|
"I may get my neck broken, and that may make things easier to you."
|
|
|
|
It was Lydgate's misfortune and Rosamond's too, that his tenderness
|
|
towards her, which was both an emotional prompting and a well-considered
|
|
resolve, was inevitably interrupted by these outbursts of indignation
|
|
either ironical or remonstrant. She thought them totally unwarranted,
|
|
and the repulsion which this exceptional severity excited in
|
|
her was in danger of making the more persistent tenderness unacceptable.
|
|
|
|
"I see you do not wish me to go," she said, with chill mildness;
|
|
"why can you not say so, without that kind of violence? I shall stay
|
|
until you request me to do otherwise."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate said no more, but went out on his rounds. He felt bruised
|
|
and shattered, and there was a dark line under his eyes which
|
|
Rosamond had not seen before. She could not bear to look at him.
|
|
Tertius had a way of taking things which made them a great deal
|
|
worse for her.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXX.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Our deeds still travel with us from afar,
|
|
And what we have been makes us what we are."
|
|
|
|
|
|
Bulstrode's first object after Lydgate had left Stone Court was
|
|
to examine Raffles's pockets, which he imagined were sure to carry
|
|
signs in the shape of hotel-bills of the places he had stopped in,
|
|
if he had not told the truth in saying that he had come straight
|
|
from Liverpool because he was ill and had no money. There were
|
|
various bills crammed into his pocketbook, but none of a later
|
|
date than Christmas at any other place, except one, which bore
|
|
date that morning. This was crumpled up with a hand-bill about
|
|
a horse-fair in one of his tail-pockets, and represented the cost
|
|
of three days' stay at an inn at Bilkley, where the fair was held--
|
|
a town at least forty miles from Middlemarch. The bill was heavy,
|
|
and since Raffles had no luggage with him, it seemed probable that he
|
|
had left his portmanteau behind in payment, in order to save money
|
|
for his travelling fare; for his purse was empty, and he had only
|
|
a couple of sixpences and some loose pence in his pockets.
|
|
|
|
Bulstrode gathered a sense of safety from these indications that
|
|
Raffles had really kept at a distance from Middlemarch since his
|
|
memorable visit at Christmas. At a distance and among people who
|
|
were strangers to Bulstrode, what satisfaction could there be to
|
|
Raffles's tormenting, self-magnifying vein in telling old scandalous
|
|
stories about a Middlemarch banker? And what harm if he did talk?
|
|
The chief point now was to keep watch over him as long as there
|
|
was any danger of that intelligible raving, that unaccountable
|
|
impulse to tell, which seemed to have acted towards Caleb Garth;
|
|
and Bulstrode felt much anxiety lest some such impulse should come
|
|
over him at the sight of Lydgate. He sat up alone with him through
|
|
the night, only ordering the housekeeper to lie down in her clothes,
|
|
so as to be ready when he called her, alleging his own indisposition
|
|
to sleep, and his anxiety to carry out the doctor's orders.
|
|
He did carry them out faithfully, although Raffles was incessantly
|
|
asking for brandy, and declaring that he was sinking away--
|
|
that the earth was sinking away from under him. He was restless
|
|
and sleepless, but still quailing and manageable. On the offer
|
|
of the food ordered by Lydgate, which he refused, and the denial
|
|
of other things which he demanded, he seemed to concentrate
|
|
all his terror on Bulstrode, imploringly deprecating his anger,
|
|
his revenge on him by starvation, and declaring with strong oaths
|
|
that he had never told any mortal a word against him. Even this
|
|
Bulstrode felt that he would not have liked Lydgate to hear;
|
|
but a more alarming sign of fitful alternation in his delirium was,
|
|
that in-the morning twilight Raffles suddenly seemed to imagine
|
|
a doctor present, addressing him and declaring that Bulstrode
|
|
wanted to starve him to death out of revenge for telling, when he
|
|
never had told.
|
|
|
|
Bulstrode's native imperiousness and strength of determination served
|
|
him well. This delicate-looking man, himself nervously perturbed,
|
|
found the needed stimulus in his strenuous circumstances, and through
|
|
that difficult night and morning, while he had the air of an animated
|
|
corpse returned to movement without warmth, holding the mastery
|
|
by its chill impassibility his mind was intensely at work thinking
|
|
of what he had to guard against and what would win him security.
|
|
Whatever prayers he might lift up, whatever statements he might inwardly
|
|
make of this man's wretched spiritual condition, and the duty he
|
|
himself was under to submit to the punishment divinely appointed for
|
|
him rather than to wish for evil to another--through all this effort
|
|
to condense words into a solid mental state, there pierced and spread
|
|
with irresistible vividness the images of the events he desired.
|
|
And in the train of those images came their apology. He could not
|
|
but see the death of Raffles, and see in it his own deliverance.
|
|
What was the removal of this wretched creature? He was impenitent--
|
|
but were not public criminals impenitent?--yet the law decided
|
|
on their fate. Should Providence in this case award death,
|
|
there was no sin in contemplating death as the desirable issue--
|
|
if he kept his hands from hastening it--if he scrupulously did
|
|
what was prescribed. Even here there might be a mistake:
|
|
human prescriptions were fallible things: Lydgate had said that
|
|
treatment had hastened death,--why not his own method of treatment?
|
|
But of course intention was everything in the question of right
|
|
and wrong.
|
|
|
|
And Bulstrode set himself to keep his intention separate from
|
|
his desire. He inwardly declared that he intended to obey orders.
|
|
Why should he have got into any argument about the validity of
|
|
these orders? It was only the common trick of desire--which avails
|
|
itself of any irrelevant scepticism, finding larger room for itself
|
|
in all uncertainty about effects, in every obscurity that looks
|
|
like the absence of law. Still, he did obey the orders.
|
|
|
|
His anxieties continually glanced towards Lydgate, and his remembrance
|
|
of what had taken place between them the morning before was accompanied
|
|
with sensibilities which had not been roused at all during the
|
|
actual scene. He had then cared but little about Lydgate's painful
|
|
impressions with regard to the suggested change in the Hospital,
|
|
or about the disposition towards himself which what he held to be his
|
|
justifiable refusal of a rather exorbitant request might call forth.
|
|
He recurred to the scene now with a perception that he had probably
|
|
made Lydgate his enemy, and with an awakened desire to propitiate him,
|
|
or rather to create in him a strong sense of personal obligation.
|
|
He regretted that he had not at once made even an unreasonable
|
|
money-sacrifice. For in case of unpleasant suspicions, or even
|
|
knowledge gathered from the raving of Raffles, Bulstrode would have
|
|
felt that he had a defence in Lydgate's mind by having conferred
|
|
a momentous benefit on him. Bat the regret had perhaps come too late.
|
|
|
|
Strange, piteous conflict in the soul of this unhappy man,
|
|
who had longed for years to be better than he was--who had taken
|
|
his selfish passions into discipline and clad them in severe robes,
|
|
so that he had walked with them as a devout choir, till now that
|
|
a terror had risen among them, and they could chant no longer,
|
|
but threw out their common cries for safety.
|
|
|
|
It was nearly the middle of the day before Lydgate arrived:
|
|
he had meant to come earlier, but had been detained, he said;
|
|
and his shattered looks were noticed by Balstrode. But he immediately
|
|
threw himself into the consideration of the patient, and inquired
|
|
strictly into all that had occurred. Raffles was worse, would take
|
|
hardly any food, was persistently wakeful and restlessly raving;
|
|
but still not violent. Contrary to Bulstrode's alarmed expectation,
|
|
he took little notice of Lydgate's presence, and continued to talk or
|
|
murmur incoherently.
|
|
|
|
"What do you think of him?" said Bulstrode, in private.
|
|
|
|
"The symptoms are worse."
|
|
|
|
"You are less hopeful?"
|
|
|
|
"No; I still think he may come round. Are you going to stay here yourself?"
|
|
said Lydgate, looking at Bulstrode with an abrupt question, which made
|
|
him uneasy, though in reality it was not due to any suspicious conjecture.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I think so," said Bulstrode, governing himself and speaking
|
|
with deliberation. "Mrs. Bulstrode is advised of the reasons which
|
|
detain me. Mrs. Abel and her husband are not experienced enough
|
|
to be left quite alone, and this kind of responsibility is scarcely
|
|
included in their service of me. You have some fresh instructions,
|
|
I presume."
|
|
|
|
The chief new instruction that Lydgate had to give was on
|
|
the administration of extremely moderate doses of opium,
|
|
in case of the sleeplessness continuing after several hours.
|
|
He had taken the precaution of bringing opium in his pocket, and he
|
|
gave minute directions to Bulstrode as to the doses, and the point
|
|
at which they should cease. He insisted on the risk of not ceasing;
|
|
and repeated his order that no alcohol should be given.
|
|
|
|
"From what I see of the case," he ended, "narcotism is the only
|
|
thing I should be much afraid of. He may wear through even without
|
|
much food. There's a good deal of strength in him."
|
|
|
|
"You look ill yourself, Mr. Lydgate--a most unusual, I may say
|
|
unprecedented thing in my knowledge of you," said Bulstrode,
|
|
showing a solicitude as unlike his indifference the day before,
|
|
as his present recklessness about his own fatigue was unlike his
|
|
habitual self-cherishing anxiety. "I fear you are harassed."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I am," said Lydgate, brusquely, holding his hat, and ready
|
|
to go.
|
|
|
|
"Something new, I fear," said Bulstrode, inquiringly. "Pray be seated."
|
|
|
|
"No, thank you," said Lydgate, with some hauteur. "I mentioned
|
|
to you yesterday what was the state of my affairs. There is nothing
|
|
to add, except that the execution has since then been actually put into
|
|
my house. One can tell a good deal of trouble in a short sentence.
|
|
I will say good morning."
|
|
|
|
"Stay, Mr. Lydgate, stay," said Bulstrode; "I have been
|
|
reconsidering this subject. I was yesterday taken by surprise,
|
|
and saw it superficially. Mrs. Bulstrode is anxious for her niece,
|
|
and I myself should grieve at a calamitous change in your position.
|
|
Claims on me are numerous, but on reconsideration, I esteem it right
|
|
that I should incur a small sacrifice rather than leave you unaided.
|
|
You said, I think, that a thousand pounds would suffice entirely to
|
|
free you from your burthens, and enable you to recover a firm stand?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Lydgate, a great leap of joy within him surmounting every
|
|
other feeling; "that would pay all my debts, and leave me a little
|
|
on hand. I could set about economizing in our way of living.
|
|
And by-and-by my practice might look up."
|
|
|
|
"If you will wait a moment, Mr. Lydgate, I will draw a cheek to
|
|
that amount. I am aware that help, to be effectual in these cases,
|
|
should be thorough."
|
|
|
|
While Bulstrode wrote, Lydgate turned to the window thinking of his home--
|
|
thinking of his life with its good start saved from frustration,
|
|
its good purposes still unbroken.
|
|
|
|
"You can give me a note of hand for this, Mr. Lydgate," said the banker,
|
|
advancing towards him with the check. "And by-and-by, I hope,
|
|
you may be in circumstances gradually to repay me. Meanwhile, I have
|
|
pleasure in thinking that you will be released from further difficulty."
|
|
|
|
"I am deeply obliged to you," said Lydgate. "You have restored
|
|
to me the prospect of working with some happiness and some chance
|
|
of good."
|
|
|
|
It appeared to him a very natural movement in Bulstrode that he
|
|
should have reconsidered his refusal: it corresponded with the more
|
|
munificent side of his character. But as he put his hack into
|
|
a canter, that he might get the sooner home, and tell the good news
|
|
to Rosamond, and get cash at the bank to pay over to Dover's agent,
|
|
there crossed his mind, with an unpleasant impression, as from
|
|
a dark-winged flight of evil augury across his vision, the thought
|
|
of that contrast in himself which a few months had brought--that he
|
|
should be overjoyed at being under a strong personal obligation--
|
|
that he should be overjoyed at getting money for himself from Bulstrode.
|
|
|
|
The banker felt that he had done something to nullify one cause
|
|
of uneasiness, and yet he was scarcely the easier. He did not measure
|
|
the quantity of diseased motive which had made him wish for Lydgate's
|
|
good-will, but the quantity was none the less actively there,
|
|
like an irritating agent in his blood. A man vows, and yet will not
|
|
east away the means of breaking his vow. Is it that he distinctly
|
|
means to break it? Not at all; but the desires which tend to break
|
|
it are at work in him dimly, and make their way into his imagination,
|
|
and relax his muscles in the very moments when he is telling himself
|
|
over again the reasons for his vow. Raffles, recovering quickly,
|
|
returning to the free use of his odious powers--how could Bulstrode
|
|
wish for that? Raffles dead was the image that brought release,
|
|
and indirectly he prayed for that way of release, beseeching that,
|
|
if it were possible, the rest of his days here below might be
|
|
freed from the threat of an ignominy which would break him utterly
|
|
as an instrument of God's service. Lydgate's opinion was not
|
|
on the side of promise that this prayer would be fulfilled;
|
|
and as the day advanced, Bulstrode felt himself getting irritated
|
|
at the persistent life in this man, whom he would fain have seen
|
|
sinking into the silence of death imperious will stirred murderous
|
|
impulses towards this brute life, over which will, by itself,
|
|
had no power. He said inwardly that he was getting too much worn;
|
|
he would not sit up with the patient to-night, but leave him to
|
|
Mrs. Abel, who, if necessary, could call her husband.
|
|
|
|
At six o'clock, Raffles, having had only fitful perturbed
|
|
snatches of sleep, from which he waked with fresh restlessness
|
|
and perpetual cries that he was sinking away, Bulstrode began
|
|
to administer the opium according to Lydgate's directions.
|
|
At the end of half an hour or more he called Mrs. Abel and told
|
|
her that he found himself unfit for further watching. He must
|
|
now consign the patient to her care; and he proceeded to repeat
|
|
to her Lydgate's directions as to the quantity of each dose.
|
|
Mrs. Abel had not before known anything of Lydgate's prescriptions;
|
|
she had simply prepared and brought whatever Bulstrode ordered,
|
|
and had done what he pointed out to her. She began now to ask
|
|
what else she should do besides administering the opium.
|
|
|
|
"Nothing at present, except the offer of the soup or the soda-water:
|
|
you can come to me for further directions. Unless there is any
|
|
important change, I shall not come into the room again to-night. You
|
|
will ask your husband for help if necessary. I must go to bed early."
|
|
|
|
"You've much need, sir, I'm sure," said Mrs. Abel, "and to take
|
|
something more strengthening than what you've done.
|
|
|
|
Bulstrode went-away now without anxiety as to what Raffles might say
|
|
in his raving, which had taken on a muttering incoherence not likely
|
|
to create any dangerous belief. At any rate he must risk this.
|
|
He went down into the wainscoted parlor first, and began to
|
|
consider whether he would not have his horse saddled and go home
|
|
by the moonlight, and give up caring for earthly consequences.
|
|
Then, he wished that he had begged Lydgate to come again
|
|
that evening. Perhaps he might deliver a different opinion,
|
|
and think that Raffles was getting into a less hopeful state.
|
|
Should he send for Lydgate? If Raffles were really getting worse,
|
|
and slowly dying, Bulstrode felt that he could go to bed and sleep
|
|
in gratitude to Providence. But was he worse? Lydgate might come
|
|
and simply say that he was going on as he expected, and predict
|
|
that he would by-and-by fall into a good sleep, and get well.
|
|
What was the use of sending for him? Bulstrode shrank from that result.
|
|
No ideas or opinions could hinder him from seeing the one probability
|
|
to be, that Raffles recovered would be just the same man as before,
|
|
with his strength as a tormentor renewed, obliging him to drag away
|
|
his wife to spend her years apart from her friends and native place,
|
|
carrying an alienating suspicion against him in her heart.
|
|
|
|
He had sat an hour and a half in this conflict by the firelight only,
|
|
when a sudden thought made him rise and light the bed-candle,
|
|
which he had brought down with him. The thought was, that he
|
|
had not told Mrs. Abel when the doses of opium must cease.
|
|
|
|
He took hold of the candlestick, but stood motionless for a long while.
|
|
She might already have given him more than Lydgate had prescribed.
|
|
But it was excusable in him, that he should forget part of an order,
|
|
in his present wearied condition. He walked up-stairs, candle
|
|
in hand, not knowing whether he should straightway enter his own
|
|
room and go to bed, or turn to the patient's room and rectify
|
|
his omission. He paused in the passage, with his face turned towards
|
|
Raffles's room, and he could hear him moaning and murmuring.
|
|
He was not asleep, then. Who could know that Lydgate's prescription
|
|
would not be better disobeyed than followed, since there was still
|
|
no sleep?
|
|
|
|
He turned into his own room. Before he had quite undressed,
|
|
Mrs. Abel rapped at the door; he opened it an inch, so that he
|
|
could hear her speak low.
|
|
|
|
"If you please, sir, should I have no brandy nor nothing to give
|
|
the poor creetur? He feels sinking away, and nothing else will
|
|
he swaller--and but little strength in it, if he did--only the opium.
|
|
And he says more and more he's sinking down through the earth."
|
|
|
|
To her surprise, Mr. Bulstrode did not answer. A struggle was going
|
|
on within him.
|
|
|
|
"I think he must die for want o' support, if he goes on in that way.
|
|
When I nursed my poor master, Mr. Robisson, I had to give him port-wine
|
|
and brandy constant, and a big glass at a time," added Mrs. Abel,
|
|
with a touch of remonstrance in her tone.
|
|
|
|
But again Mr. Bulstrode did not answer immediately, and she continued,
|
|
"It's not a time to spare when people are at death's door, nor would
|
|
you wish it, sir, I'm sure. Else I should give him our own bottle o'
|
|
rum as we keep by us. But a sitter-up so as you've been, and doing
|
|
everything as laid in your power--"
|
|
|
|
Here a key was thrust through the inch of doorway, and Mr. Bulstrode
|
|
said huskily, "That is the key of the wine-cooler. You will find
|
|
plenty of brandy there."
|
|
|
|
Early in the morning--about six--Mr. Bulstrode rose and spent
|
|
some time in prayer. Does any one suppose that private prayer
|
|
is necessarily candid--necessarily goes to the roots of action?
|
|
Private prayer is inaudible speech, and speech is representative:
|
|
who can represent himself just as he is, even in his own reflections?
|
|
Bulstrode had not yet unravelled in his thought the confused promptings
|
|
of the last four-and-twenty hours.
|
|
|
|
He listened in the passage, and could hear hard stertorous breathing.
|
|
Then he walked out in the garden, and looked at the early rime on
|
|
the grass and fresh spring leaves. When he re-entered the house,
|
|
he felt startled at the sight of Mrs. Abel.
|
|
|
|
"How is your patient--asleep, I think?" he said, with an attempt
|
|
at cheerfulness in his tone.
|
|
|
|
"He's gone very deep, sir," said Mrs. Abel. "He went off gradual
|
|
between three and four o'clock. Would you please to go and look
|
|
at him? I thought it no harm to leave him. My man's gone afield,
|
|
and the little girl's seeing to the kettles."
|
|
|
|
Bulstrode went up. At a glance he knew that Raffles was not in
|
|
the sleep which brings revival, but in the sleep which streams
|
|
deeper and deeper into the gulf of death.
|
|
|
|
He looked round the room and saw a bottle with some brandy in it,
|
|
and the almost empty opium phial. He put the phial out of sight,
|
|
and carried the brandy-bottle down-stairs with him, locking it again
|
|
in the wine-cooler.
|
|
|
|
While breakfasting he considered whether he should ride to
|
|
Middlemarch at once, or wait for Lydgate's arrival. He decided
|
|
to wait, and told Mrs. Abel that she might go about her work--
|
|
he could watch in the bed-chamber.
|
|
|
|
As he sat there and beheld the enemy of his peace going irrevocably
|
|
into silence, he felt more at rest than he had done for many months.
|
|
His conscience was soothed by the enfolding wing of secrecy,
|
|
which seemed just then like an angel sent down for his relief.
|
|
He drew out his pocket-book to review various memoranda there as
|
|
to the arrangements he had projected and partly carried out in the
|
|
prospect of quitting Middlemarch, and considered how far he would
|
|
let them stand or recall them, now that his absence would be brief.
|
|
Some economies which he felt desirable might still find a suitable
|
|
occasion in his temporary withdrawal from management, and he hoped
|
|
still that Mrs. Casaubon would take a large share in the expenses
|
|
of the Hospital. In that way the moments passed, until a change
|
|
in the stertorous breathing was marked enough to draw his attention
|
|
wholly to the bed, and forced him to think of the departing life,
|
|
which had once been subservient to his own--which he had once been
|
|
glad to find base enough for him to act on as he would. It was his
|
|
gladness then which impelled him now to be glad that the life was at
|
|
an end.
|
|
|
|
And who could say that the death of Raffles had been hastened?
|
|
Who knew what would have saved him?
|
|
|
|
Lydgate arrived at half-past ten, in time to witness the final
|
|
pause of the breath. When he entered the room Bulstrode observed
|
|
a sudden expression in his face, which was not so much surprise as a
|
|
recognition that he had not judged correctly. He stood by the bed
|
|
in silence for some time, with his eyes turned on the dying man,
|
|
but with that subdued activity of expression which showed that he
|
|
was carrying on an inward debate.
|
|
|
|
"When did this change begin?" said he, looking at Bulstrode.
|
|
|
|
"I did not watch by him last night," said Bulstrode.
|
|
"I was over-worn, and left him under Mrs. Abel's care.
|
|
She said that he sank into sleep between three and four o'clock.
|
|
When I came in before eight he was nearly in this condition."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate did not ask another question, but watched in silence until
|
|
he said, "It's all over."
|
|
|
|
This morning Lydgate was in a state of recovered hope and freedom.
|
|
He had set out on his work with all his old animation, and felt himself
|
|
strong enough to bear all the deficiencies of his married life.
|
|
And he was conscious that Bulstrode had been a benefactor to him.
|
|
But he was uneasy about this case. He had not expected it to
|
|
terminate as it had done. Yet he hardly knew how to put a question
|
|
on the subject to Bulstrode without appearing to insult him;
|
|
and if he examined the housekeeper--why, the man was dead.
|
|
There seemed to be no use in implying that somebody's ignorance
|
|
or imprudence had killed him. And after all, he himself might
|
|
be wrong.
|
|
|
|
He and Bulstrode rode back to Middlemarch together, talking of
|
|
many things--chiefly cholera and the chances of the Reform Bill
|
|
in the House of Lords, and the firm resolve of the political Unions.
|
|
Nothing was said about Raffles, except that Bulstrode mentioned
|
|
the necessity of having a grave for him in Lowick churchyard,
|
|
and observed that, so far as he knew, the poor man had no connections,
|
|
except Rigg, whom he had stated to be unfriendly towards him.
|
|
|
|
On returning home Lydgate had a visit from Mr. Farebrother. The Vicar
|
|
had not been in the town the day before, but the news that there
|
|
was an execution in Lydgate's house had got to Lowick by the evening,
|
|
having been carried by Mr. Spicer, shoemaker and parish-clerk, who had
|
|
it from his brother, the respectable bell-hanger in Lowick Gate.
|
|
Since that evening when Lydgate had come down from the billiard
|
|
room with Fred Vincy, Mr. Farebrother's thoughts about him had
|
|
been rather gloomy. Playing at the Green Dragon once or oftener
|
|
might have been a trifle in another man; but in Lydgate it was
|
|
one of several signs that he was getting unlike his former self.
|
|
He was beginning to do things for which he had formerly even an
|
|
excessive scorn. Whatever certain dissatisfactions in marriage,
|
|
which some silly tinklings of gossip had given him hints of,
|
|
might have to do with this change, Mr. Farebrother felt sure
|
|
that it was chiefly connected with the debts which were being
|
|
more and more distinctly reported, and he began to fear that any
|
|
notion of Lydgate's having resources or friends in the background
|
|
must be quite illusory. The rebuff he had met with in his first
|
|
attempt to win Lydgate's confidence, disinclined him to a second;
|
|
but this news of the execution being actually in the house,
|
|
determined the Vicar to overcome his reluctance.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate had just dismissed a poor patient, in whom he was much interested,
|
|
and he came forward to put out his hand--with an open cheerfulness
|
|
which surprised Mr. Farebrother. Could this too be a proud rejection of
|
|
sympathy and help? Never mind; the sympathy and help should be offered.
|
|
|
|
"How are you, Lydgate? I came to see you because I had heard
|
|
something which made me anxious about you," said the Vicar, in the
|
|
tone of a good brother, only that there was no reproach in it.
|
|
They were both seated by this time, and Lydgate answered immediately--
|
|
|
|
"I think I know what you mean. You had heard that there was
|
|
an execution in the house?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes; is it true?"
|
|
|
|
"It was true," said Lydgate, with an air of freedom, as if he did
|
|
not mind talking about the affair now. "But the danger is over;
|
|
the debt is paid. I am out of my difficulties now: I shall be freed
|
|
from debts, and able, I hope, to start afresh on a better plan."
|
|
|
|
"I am very thankful to hear it," said the Vicar, falling back in
|
|
his chair, and speaking with that low-toned quickness which often
|
|
follows the removal of a load. "I like that better than all
|
|
the news in the `Times.' I confess I came to you with a heavy heart."
|
|
|
|
"Thank you for coming," said Lydgate, cordially. "I can enjoy
|
|
the kindness all the more because I am happier. I have certainly
|
|
been a good deal crushed. I'm afraid I shall find the bruises
|
|
still painful by-and by," he added, smiling rather sadly;
|
|
"but just now I can only feel that the torture-screw is off."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Farebrother was silent for a moment, and then said earnestly,
|
|
"My dear fellow, let me ask you one question. Forgive me if I take
|
|
a liberty."
|
|
|
|
"I don't believe you will ask anything that ought to offend me."
|
|
|
|
"Then--this is necessary to set my heart quite at rest--you have not--
|
|
have you?--in order to pay your debts, incurred another debt which
|
|
may harass you worse hereafter?"
|
|
|
|
"No," said Lydgate, coloring slightly. "There is no reason why I
|
|
should not tell you--since the fact is so--that the person to whom I
|
|
am indebted is Bulstrode. He has made me a very handsome advance--
|
|
a thousand pounds--and he can afford to wait for repayment."
|
|
|
|
"Well, that is generous," said Mr. Farebrother, compelling himself
|
|
to approve of the man whom he disliked. His delicate feeling shrank
|
|
from dwelling even in his thought on the fact that he had always
|
|
urged Lydgate to avoid any personal entanglement with Bulstrode.
|
|
He added immediately, "And Bulstrode must naturally feel an interest
|
|
in your welfare, after you have worked with him in a way which has
|
|
probably reduced your income instead of adding to it. I am glad
|
|
to think that he has acted accordingly."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate felt uncomfortable under these kindly suppositions.
|
|
They made more distinct within him the uneasy consciousness
|
|
which had shown its first dim stirrings only a few hours before,
|
|
that Bulstrode's motives for his sudden beneficence following
|
|
close upon the chillest indifference might be merely selfish.
|
|
He let the kindly suppositions pass. He could not tell the history
|
|
of the loan, but it was more vividly present with him than ever,
|
|
as well as the fact which the Vicar delicately ignored--that this
|
|
relation of personal indebtedness to Bulstrode was what he had once
|
|
been most resolved to avoid.
|
|
|
|
He began, instead of answering, to speak of his projected economies,
|
|
and of his having come to look at his life from a different point
|
|
of view.
|
|
|
|
"I shall set up a surgery," he said. "I really think I made
|
|
a mistaken effort in that respect. And if Rosamond will not mind,
|
|
I shall take an apprentice. I don't like these things, but if
|
|
one carries them out faithfully they are not really lowering.
|
|
I have had a severe galling to begin with: that will make the small
|
|
rubs seem easy."
|
|
|
|
Poor Lydgate! the "if Rosamond will not mind," which had fallen
|
|
from him involuntarily as part of his thought, was a significant
|
|
mark of the yoke he bore. But Mr. Farebrother, whose hopes entered
|
|
strongly into the same current with Lydgate's, and who knew
|
|
nothing about him that could now raise a melancholy presentiment,
|
|
left him with affectionate congratulation.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXXI.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Clown. . . . 'Twas in the Bunch of Grapes, where, indeed,
|
|
you have a delight to sit, have you not?
|
|
Froth. I have so: because it is an open room, and good for winter.
|
|
Clo. Why, very well then: I hope here be truths.
|
|
--Measure for Measure.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Five days after the death of Raffles, Mr. Bambridge was standing
|
|
at his leisure under the large archway leading into the yard of the
|
|
Green Dragon. He was not fond of solitary contemplation, but he
|
|
had only just come out of the house, and any human figure standing
|
|
at ease under the archway in the early afternoon was as certain
|
|
to attract companionship as a pigeon which has found something worth
|
|
peeking at. In this case there was no material object to feed upon,
|
|
but the eye of reason saw a probability of mental sustenance in the
|
|
shape of gossip. Mr. Hopkins, the meek-mannered draper opposite,
|
|
was the first to act on this inward vision, being the more ambitious
|
|
of a little masculine talk because his customers were chiefly women.
|
|
Mr. Bambridge was rather curt to the draper, feeling that Hopkins
|
|
was of course glad to talk to HIM, but that he was not going
|
|
to waste much of his talk on Hopkins. Soon, however, there was
|
|
a small cluster of more important listeners, who were either
|
|
deposited from the passers-by, or had sauntered to the spot expressly
|
|
to see if there were anything going on at the Green Dragon;
|
|
and Mr. Bambridge was finding it worth his while to say many
|
|
impressive things about the fine studs he had been seeing and the
|
|
purchases he had made on a journey in the north from which he had
|
|
just returned. Gentlemen present were assured that when they could
|
|
show him anything to cut out a blood mare, a bay, rising four,
|
|
which was to be seen at Doncaster if they chose to go and look
|
|
at it, Mr. Bambridge would gratify them by being shot "from here
|
|
to Hereford." Also, a pair of blacks which he was going to put
|
|
into the break recalled vividly to his mind a pair which he had sold
|
|
to Faulkner in '19, for a hundred guineas, and which Faulkner had
|
|
sold for a hundred and sixty two months later--any gent who could
|
|
disprove this statement being offered the privilege of calling
|
|
Mr. Bambridge by a very ugly name until the exercise made his throat dry.
|
|
|
|
When the discourse was at this point of animation, came up Mr. Frank
|
|
Hawley. He was not a man to compromise his dignity by lounging at
|
|
the Green Dragon, but happening to pass along the High Street and
|
|
seeing Bambridge on the other side, he took some of his long strides
|
|
across to ask the horsedealer whether he had found the first-rate
|
|
gig-horse which he had engaged to look for. Mr. Hawley was requested
|
|
to wait until he had seen a gray selected at Bilkley: if that did
|
|
not meet his wishes to a hair, Bambridge did not know a horse when he
|
|
saw it, which seemed to be the highest conceivable unlikelihood.
|
|
Mr. Hawley, standing with his back to the street, was fixing a time for
|
|
looking at the gray and seeing it tried, when a horseman passed slowly by.
|
|
|
|
"Bulstrode!" said two or three voices at once in a low tone, one of them,
|
|
which was the draper's, respectfully prefixing the "Mr.;" but nobody
|
|
having more intention in this interjectural naming than if they had said
|
|
"the Riverston coach" when that vehicle appeared in the distance.
|
|
Mr. Hawley gave a careless glance round at Bulstrode's back,
|
|
but as Bambridge's eyes followed it he made a sarcastic grimace.
|
|
|
|
"By jingo! that reminds me," he began, lowering his voice a little,
|
|
"I picked up something else at Bilkley besides your gig-horse,
|
|
Mr. Hawley. I picked up a fine story about Bulstrode.
|
|
Do you know how he came by his fortune? Any gentleman wanting
|
|
a bit of curious information, I can give it him free of expense.
|
|
If everybody got their deserts, Bulstrode might have had to say
|
|
his prayers at Botany Bay."
|
|
|
|
"What do you mean?" said Mr. Hawley, thrusting his hands into
|
|
his pockets, and pushing a little forward under the archway.
|
|
If Bulstrode should turn out to be a rascal, Frank Hawley had
|
|
a prophetic soul.
|
|
|
|
"I had it from a party who was an old chum of Bulstrode's.
|
|
I'll tell you where I first picked him up," said Bambridge,
|
|
with a sudden gesture of his fore-finger. "He was at Larcher's sale,
|
|
but I knew nothing of him then--he slipped through my fingers--
|
|
was after Bulstrode, no doubt. He tells me he can tap Bulstrode
|
|
to any amount, knows all his secrets. However, he blabbed to me
|
|
at Bilkley: he takes a stiff glass. Damme if I think he meant
|
|
to turn king's evidence; but he's that sort of bragging fellow,
|
|
the bragging runs over hedge and ditch with him, till he'd brag of a
|
|
spavin as if it 'ud fetch money. A man should know when to pull up."
|
|
Mr. Bambridge made this remark with an air of disgust, satisfied that
|
|
his own bragging showed a fine sense of the marketable.
|
|
|
|
"What's the man's name? Where can he be found?" said Mr. Hawley.
|
|
|
|
"As to where he is to be found, I left him to it at the Saracen's Head;
|
|
but his name is Raffles."
|
|
|
|
"Raffles!" exclaimed Mr. Hopkins. "I furnished his funeral yesterday.
|
|
He was buried at Lowick. Mr. Bulstrode followed him. A very
|
|
decent funeral." There was a strong sensation among the listeners.
|
|
Mr. Bambridge gave an ejaculation in which "brimstone" was the
|
|
mildest word, and Mr. Hawley, knitting his brows and bending
|
|
his head forward, exclaimed, "What?--where did the man die?"
|
|
|
|
"At Stone Court," said the draper. "The housekeeper said he was
|
|
a relation of the master's. He came there ill on Friday."
|
|
|
|
"Why, it was on Wednesday I took a glass with him," interposed Bambridge.
|
|
|
|
"Did any doctor attend him?" said Mr. Hawley
|
|
|
|
"Yes. Mr. Lydgate. Mr. Bulstrode sat up with him one night.
|
|
He died the third morning."
|
|
|
|
"Go on, Bambridge," said Mr. Hawley, insistently. "What did this
|
|
fellow say about Bulstrode?"
|
|
|
|
The group had already become larger, the town-clerk's presence being
|
|
a guarantee that something worth listening to was going on there;
|
|
and Mr. Bambridge delivered his narrative in the hearing of seven.
|
|
It was mainly what we know, including the fact about Will Ladislaw,
|
|
with some local color and circumstance added: it was what Bulstrode
|
|
had dreaded the betrayal of--and hoped to have buried forever with
|
|
the corpse of Raffles--it was that haunting ghost of his earlier
|
|
life which as he rode past the archway of the Green Dragon he was
|
|
trusting that Providence had delivered him from. Yes, Providence.
|
|
He had not confessed to himself yet that he had done anything
|
|
in the way of contrivance to this end; he had accepted what seemed
|
|
to have been offered. It was impossible to prove that he had done
|
|
anything which hastened the departure of that man's soul.
|
|
|
|
But this gossip about Bulstrode spread through Middlemarch like
|
|
the smell of fire. Mr. Frank Hawley followed up his information
|
|
by sending a clerk whom he could trust to Stone Court on a pretext
|
|
of inquiring about hay, but really to gather all that could be
|
|
learned about Raffles and his illness from Mrs. Abel. In this way
|
|
it came to his knowledge that Mr. Garth had carried the man to Stone
|
|
Court in his gig; and Mr. Hawley in consequence took an opportunity
|
|
of seeing Caleb, calling at his office to ask whether he had time
|
|
to undertake an arbitration if it were required, and then asking
|
|
him incidentally about Raffles. Caleb was betrayed into no word
|
|
injurious to Bulstrode beyond the fact which he was forced to admit,
|
|
that he had given up acting for him within the last week.
|
|
Mr Hawley drew his inferences, and feeling convinced that Raffles
|
|
had told his story to Garth, and that Garth had given up Bulstrode's
|
|
affairs in consequence, said so a few hours later to Mr. Toller.
|
|
The statement was passed on until it had quite lost the stamp
|
|
of an inference, and was taken as information coming straight
|
|
from Garth, so that even a diligent historian might have concluded
|
|
Caleb to be the chief publisher of Bulstrode's misdemeanors.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Hawley was not slow to perceive that there was no handle
|
|
for the law either in the revelations made by Raffles or in the
|
|
circumstances of his death. He had himself ridden to Lowick village
|
|
that he might look at the register and talk over the whole matter
|
|
with Mr. Farebrother, who was not more surprised than the lawyer
|
|
that an ugly secret should have come to light about Bulstrode,
|
|
though he had always had justice enough in him to hinder his antipathy
|
|
from turning into conclusions. But while they were talking another
|
|
combination was silently going forward in Mr. Farebrother's mind,
|
|
which foreshadowed what was soon to be loudly spoken of in Middlemarch
|
|
as a necessary "putting of two and two together." With the reasons
|
|
which kept Bulstrode in dread of Raffles there flashed the thought
|
|
that the dread might have something to do with his munificence
|
|
towards his medical man; and though he resisted the suggestion
|
|
that it had been consciously accepted in any way as a bribe, he had
|
|
a foreboding that this complication of things might be of malignant
|
|
effect on Lydgate's reputation. He perceived that Mr. Hawley knew
|
|
nothing at present of the sudden relief from debt, and he himself
|
|
was careful to glide away from all approaches towards the subject.
|
|
|
|
"Well," he said, with a deep breath, wanting to wind up the
|
|
illimitable discussion of what might have been, though nothing could
|
|
be legally proven, "it is a strange story. So our mercurial Ladislaw
|
|
has a queer genealogy! A high-spirited young lady and a musical
|
|
Polish patriot made a likely enough stock for him to spring from,
|
|
but I should never have suspected a grafting of the Jew pawnbroker.
|
|
However, there's no knowing what a mixture will turn out beforehand.
|
|
Some sorts of dirt serve to clarify."
|
|
|
|
"It's just what I should have expected," said Mr. Hawley,
|
|
mounting his horse. "Any cursed alien blood, Jew, Corsican, or Gypsy."
|
|
|
|
"I know he's one of your black sheep, Hawley. But he is really
|
|
a disinterested, unworldly fellow," said Mr. Farebrother, smiling.
|
|
|
|
"Ay, ay, that is your Whiggish twist," said Mr. Hawley, who had been
|
|
in the habit of saying apologetically that Farebrother was such
|
|
a damned pleasant good-hearted fellow you would mistake him for a Tory.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Hawley rode home without thinking of Lydgate's attendance on
|
|
Raffles in any other light than as a piece of evidence on the side
|
|
of Bulstrode. But the news that Lydgate had all at once become
|
|
able not only to get rid of the execution in his house but to pay
|
|
all his debts in Middlemarch was spreading fast, gathering round
|
|
it conjectures and comments which gave it new body and impetus,
|
|
and soon filling the ears of other persons besides Mr. Hawley,
|
|
who were not slow to see a significant relation between this sudden
|
|
command of money and Bulstrode's desire to stifle the scandal
|
|
of Raffles. That the money came from Bulstrode would infallibly
|
|
have been guessed even if there had been no direct evidence of it;
|
|
for it had beforehand entered into the gossip about Lydgate's affairs,
|
|
that neither his father-in-law nor his own family would do anything
|
|
for him, and direct evidence was furnished not only by a clerk
|
|
at the Bank, but by innocent Mrs. Bulstrode herself, who mentioned
|
|
the loan to Mrs. Plymdale, who mentioned it to her daughter-in-law
|
|
of the house of Toller, who mentioned it generally. The business
|
|
was felt to be so public and important that it required dinners
|
|
to feed it, and many invitations were just then issued and accepted
|
|
on the strength of this scandal concerning Bulstrode and Lydgate;
|
|
wives, widows, and single ladies took their work and went out to tea
|
|
oftener than usual; and all public conviviality, from the Green
|
|
Dragon to Dollop's, gathered a zest which could not be won from
|
|
the question whether the Lords would throw out the Reform Bill.
|
|
|
|
For hardly anybody doubted that some scandalous reason or other was at
|
|
the bottom of Bulstrode's liberality to Lydgate. Mr. Hawley indeed,
|
|
in the first instance, invited a select party, including the
|
|
two physicians, with Mr Toller and Mr. Wrench, expressly to hold
|
|
a close discussion as to the probabilities of Raffles's illness,
|
|
reciting to them all the particulars which had been gathered from
|
|
Mrs. Abel in connection with Lydgate's certificate, that the death
|
|
was due to delirium tremens; and the medical gentlemen, who all
|
|
stood undisturbedly on the old paths in relation to this disease,
|
|
declared that they could see nothing in these particulars which could
|
|
be transformed into a positive ground of suspicion. But the moral
|
|
grounds of suspicion remained: the strong motives Bulstrode
|
|
clearly had for wishing to be rid of Raffles, and the fact that at
|
|
this critical moment he had given Lydgate the help which he must
|
|
for some time have known the need for; the disposition, moreover,
|
|
to believe that Bulstrode would be unscrupulous, and the absence
|
|
of any indisposition to believe that Lydgate might be as easily
|
|
bribed as other haughty-minded men when they have found themselves
|
|
in want of money. Even if the money had been given merely to make
|
|
him hold his tongue about the scandal of Bulstrode's earlier life,
|
|
the fact threw an odious light on Lydgate, who had long been sneered
|
|
at as making himself subservient to the banker for the sake of working
|
|
himself into predominance, and discrediting the elder members of
|
|
his profession. Hence, in spite of the negative as to any direct
|
|
sign of guilt in relation to the death at Stone Court, Mr. Hawley's
|
|
select party broke up with the sense that the affair had "an ugly look."
|
|
|
|
But this vague conviction of indeterminable guilt, which was enough
|
|
to keep up much head-shaking and biting innuendo even among substantial
|
|
professional seniors, had for the general mind all the superior
|
|
power of mystery over fact. Everybody liked better to conjecture
|
|
how the thing was, than simply to know it; for conjecture soon became
|
|
more confident than knowledge, and had a more liberal allowance
|
|
for the incompatible. Even the more definite scandal concerning
|
|
Bulstrode's earlier life was, for some minds, melted into the mass
|
|
of mystery, as so much lively metal to be poured out in dialogue,
|
|
and to take such fantastic shapes as heaven pleased.
|
|
|
|
This was the tone of thought chiefly sanctioned by Mrs. Dollop,
|
|
the spirited landlady of the Tankard in Slaughter Lane, who had often
|
|
to resist the shallow pragmatism of customers disposed to think
|
|
that their reports from the outer world were of equal force with
|
|
what had "come up" in her mind. How it had been brought to her she
|
|
didn't know, but it was there before her as if it had been scored
|
|
with the chalk on the chimney-board--" as Bulstrode should say,
|
|
his inside was THAT BLACK as if the hairs of his head knowed
|
|
the thoughts of his heart, he'd tear 'em up by the roots."
|
|
|
|
"That's odd," said Mr. Limp, a meditative shoemaker, with weak
|
|
eyes and a piping voice. "Why, I read in the `Trumpet' that was
|
|
what the Duke of Wellington said when he turned his coat and went
|
|
over to the Romans."
|
|
|
|
"Very like," said Mrs. Dollop. "If one raskill said it, it's more
|
|
reason why another should. But hypoCRITE as he's been,
|
|
and holding things with that high hand, as there was no parson i'
|
|
the country good enough for him, he was forced to take Old Harry
|
|
into his counsel, and Old Harry's been too many for him."
|
|
|
|
"Ay, ay, he's a 'complice you can't send out o' the country,"
|
|
said Mr. Crabbe, the glazier, who gathered much news and groped
|
|
among it dimly. "But by what I can make out, there's them says
|
|
Bulstrode was for running away, for fear o' being found out,
|
|
before now."
|
|
|
|
"He'll be drove away, whether or no," said Mr. Dill, the barber,
|
|
who had just dropped in. "I shaved Fletcher, Hawley's clerk,
|
|
this morning--he's got a bad finger--and he says they're all of one
|
|
mind to get rid of Bulstrode. Mr. Thesiger is turned against him,
|
|
and wants him out o' the parish. And there's gentlemen in this town
|
|
says they'd as soon dine with a fellow from the hulks. `And a deal
|
|
sooner I would,' says Fletcher; `for what's more against one's stomach
|
|
than a man coming and making himself bad company with his religion,
|
|
and giving out as the Ten Commandments are not enough for him,
|
|
and all the while he's worse than half the men at the tread-mill?'
|
|
Fletcher said so himself."
|
|
|
|
"It'll be a bad thing for the town though, if Bulstrode's money
|
|
goes out of it," said Mr. Limp, quaveringly.
|
|
|
|
"Ah, there's better folks spend their money worse," said a
|
|
firm-voiced dyer, whose crimson hands looked out of keeping
|
|
with his good-natured face.
|
|
|
|
"But he won't keep his money, by what I can make out," said the glazier.
|
|
"Don't they say as there's somebody can strip it off him?
|
|
By what I can understan', they could take every penny off him,
|
|
if they went to lawing."
|
|
|
|
"No such thing!" said the barber, who felt himself a little above
|
|
his company at Dollop's, but liked it none the worse. "Fletcher says
|
|
it's no such thing. He says they might prove over and over again
|
|
whose child this young Ladislaw was, and they'd do no more than
|
|
if they proved I came out of the Fens--he couldn't touch a penny."
|
|
|
|
"Look you there now!" said Mrs. Dollop, indignantly. "I thank
|
|
the Lord he took my children to Himself, if that's all the law
|
|
can do for the motherless. Then by that, it's o' no use who your
|
|
father and mother is. But as to listening to what one lawyer says
|
|
without asking another--I wonder at a man o' your cleverness,
|
|
Mr. Dill. It's well known there's always two sides, if no more;
|
|
else who'd go to law, I should like to know? It's a poor tale,
|
|
with all the law as there is up and down, if it's no use proving
|
|
whose child you are. Fletcher may say that if he likes, but I say,
|
|
don't Fletcher ME!"
|
|
|
|
Mr. Dill affected to laugh in a complimentary way at Mrs. Dollop,
|
|
as a woman who was more than a match for the lawyers; being disposed
|
|
to submit to much twitting from a landlady who had a long score
|
|
against him.
|
|
|
|
"If they come to lawing, and it's all true as folks say,
|
|
there's more to be looked to nor money," said the glazier.
|
|
"There's this poor creetur as is dead and gone; by what I can make out,
|
|
he'd seen the day when he was a deal finer gentleman nor Bulstrode."
|
|
|
|
"Finer gentleman! I'll warrant him," said Mrs. Dollop; "and a far
|
|
personabler man, by what I can hear. As I said when Mr. Baldwin,
|
|
the tax-gatherer, comes in, a-standing where you sit, and says,
|
|
`Bulstrode got all his money as he brought into this town by thieving
|
|
and swindling,'--I said, `You don't make me no wiser, Mr. Baldwin:
|
|
it's set my blood a-creeping to look at him ever sin' here he came
|
|
into Slaughter Lane a-wanting to buy the house over my head:
|
|
folks don't look the color o' the dough-tub and stare at you as if they
|
|
wanted to see into your backbone for nothingk.' That was what I said,
|
|
and Mr. Baldwin can bear me witness."
|
|
|
|
"And in the rights of it too," said Mr. Crabbe. "For by what I can
|
|
make out, this Raffles, as they call him, was a lusty, fresh-colored man
|
|
as you'd wish to see, and the best o' company--though dead he lies
|
|
in Lowick churchyard sure enough; and by what I can understan',
|
|
there's them knows more than they SHOULD know about how he got there."
|
|
|
|
"I'll believe you!" said Mrs. Dallop, with a touch of scorn
|
|
at Mr. Crabbe's apparent dimness. "When a man's been 'ticed
|
|
to a lone house, and there's them can pay for hospitals and nurses
|
|
for half the country-side choose to be sitters-up night and day,
|
|
and nobody to come near but a doctor as is known to stick at nothingk,
|
|
and as poor as he can hang together, and after that so flush o'
|
|
money as he can pay off Mr. Byles the butcher as his bill has
|
|
been running on for the best o' joints since last Michaelmas was
|
|
a twelvemonth--I don't want anybody to come and tell me as there's
|
|
been more going on nor the Prayer-book's got a service for--
|
|
I don't want to stand winking and blinking and thinking."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Dollop looked round with the air of a landlady accustomed
|
|
to dominate her company. There was a chorus of adhesion from the
|
|
more courageous; but Mr. Limp, after taking a draught, placed his
|
|
fiat hands together and pressed them hard between his knees,
|
|
looking down at them with blear-eyed contemplation, as if the scorching
|
|
power of Mrs. Dollop's speech had quite dried up and nullified
|
|
his wits until they could be brought round again by further moisture.
|
|
|
|
"Why shouldn't they dig the man up and have the Crowner?"
|
|
said the dyer. "It's been done many and many's the time.
|
|
If there's been foul play they might find it out."
|
|
|
|
"Not they, Mr. Jonas!" said Mrs Dollop, emphatically."I know
|
|
what doctors are. They're a deal too cunning to be found out.
|
|
And this Doctor Lydgate that's been for cutting up everybody before
|
|
the breath was well out o' their body--it's plain enough what use
|
|
he wanted to make o' looking into respectable people's insides.
|
|
He knows drugs, you may be sure, as you can neither smell nor see,
|
|
neither before they're swallowed nor after. Why, I've seen drops
|
|
myself ordered by Doctor Gambit, as is our club doctor and a
|
|
good charikter, and has brought more live children into the world nor
|
|
ever another i' Middlemarch--I say I've seen drops myself as made
|
|
no difference whether they was in the glass or out, and yet have
|
|
griped you the next day. So I'll leave your own sense to judge.
|
|
Don't tell me! All I say is, it's a mercy they didn't take this Doctor
|
|
Lydgate on to our club. There's many a mother's child might ha'
|
|
rued it."
|
|
|
|
The heads of this discussion at "Dollop's" had been the common
|
|
theme among all classes in the town, had been carried to Lowick
|
|
Parsonage on one side and to Tipton Grange on the other, had come
|
|
fully to the ears of the Vincy family, and had been discussed with
|
|
sad reference to "poor Harriet" by all Mrs. Bulstrode's friends,
|
|
before Lydgate knew distinctly why people were looking strangely at him,
|
|
and before Bulstrode himself suspected the betrayal of his secrets.
|
|
He had not been accustomed to very cordial relations with his neighbors,
|
|
and hence he could not miss the signs of cordiality; moreover, he had
|
|
been taking journeys on business of various kinds, having now made
|
|
up his mind that he need not quit Middlemarch, and feeling able
|
|
consequently to determine on matters which he had before left in suspense.
|
|
|
|
"We will make a journey to Cheltenham in the course of a month or two,"
|
|
he had said to his wife. "There are great spiritual advantages
|
|
to be had in that town along with the air and the waters, and six
|
|
weeks there will be eminently refreshing to us."
|
|
|
|
He really believed in the spiritual advantages, and meant that his
|
|
life henceforth should be the more devoted because of those later sins
|
|
which he represented to himself as hypothetic, praying hypothetically
|
|
for their pardon:--"if I have herein transgressed." as to the Hospital,
|
|
he avoided saying anything further to Lydgate, fearing to manifest
|
|
a too sudden change of plans immediately on the death of Raffles.
|
|
In his secret soul he believed that Lydgate suspected his orders to have
|
|
been intentionally disobeyed, and suspecting this he must also suspect
|
|
a motive. But nothing had been betrayed to him as to the history
|
|
of Raffles, and Bulstrode was anxious not to do anything which would
|
|
give emphasis to his undefined suspicions. As to any certainty
|
|
that a particular method of treatment would either save or kill,
|
|
Lydgate himself was constantly arguing against such dogmatism;
|
|
he had no right to speak, and he had every motive for being silent.
|
|
Hence Bulstrode felt himself providentially secured. The only
|
|
incident he had strongly winced under had been an occasional encounter
|
|
with Caleb Garth, who, however, had raised his hat with mild gravity.
|
|
|
|
Meanwhile, on the part of the principal townsmen a strong
|
|
determination was growing against him.
|
|
|
|
A meeting was to be held in the Town-Hall on a sanitary question
|
|
which had risen into pressing importance by the occurrence of a cholera
|
|
case in the town. Since the Act of Parliament, which had been
|
|
hurriedly passed, authorizing assessments for sanitary measures,
|
|
there had been a Board for the superintendence of such measures
|
|
appointed in Middlemarch, and much cleansing and preparation
|
|
had been concurred in by Whigs and Tories. The question now was,
|
|
whether a piece of ground outside the town should be secured as a
|
|
burial-ground by means of assessment or by private subscription.
|
|
The meeting was to be open, and almost everybody of importance
|
|
in the town was expected to be there.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode was a member of the Board, and just before twelve
|
|
o'clock he started from the Bank with the intention of urging the plan
|
|
of private subscription. Under the hesitation of his projects,
|
|
he had for some time kept himself in the background, and he felt
|
|
that he should this morning resume his old position as a man of action
|
|
and influence in the public affairs of the town where he expected to
|
|
end his days. Among the various persons going in the same direction,
|
|
he saw Lydgate; they joined, talked over the object of the meeting,
|
|
and entered it together.
|
|
|
|
It seemed that everybody of mark had been earlier than they.
|
|
But there were still spaces left near the head of the large
|
|
central table, and they made their way thither. Mr. Farebrother
|
|
sat opposite, not far from Mr. Hawley; all the medical men were there;
|
|
Mr. Thesiger was in the chair, and Mr. Brooke of Tipton was on his
|
|
right hand.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate noticed a peculiar interchange of glances when he
|
|
and Bulstrode took their seats.
|
|
|
|
After the business had been fully opened by the chairman,
|
|
who pointed out the advantages of purchasing by subscription a piece
|
|
of ground large enough to be ultimately used as a general cemetery,
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode, whose rather high-pitched but subdued and fluent
|
|
voice the town was used to at meetings of this sort, rose and asked
|
|
leave to deliver his opinion. Lydgate could see again the peculiar
|
|
interchange of glances before Mr. Hawley started up, and said
|
|
in his firm resonant voice, "Mr. Chairman, I request that before
|
|
any one delivers his opinion on this point I may be permitted
|
|
to speak on a question of public feeling, which not only by myself,
|
|
but by many gentlemen present, is regarded as preliminary."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Hawley's mode of speech, even when public decorum repressed his
|
|
"awful language," was formidable in its curtness and self-possession.
|
|
Mr. Thesiger sanctioned the request, Mr. Bulstrode sat down,
|
|
and Mr. Hawley continued.
|
|
|
|
"In what I have to say, Mr. Chairman, I am not speaking simply
|
|
on my own behalf: I am speaking with the concurrence and at
|
|
the express request of no fewer than eight of my fellow-townsmen,
|
|
who are immediately around us. It is our united sentiment that
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode should be called upon--and I do now call upon him--
|
|
to resign public positions which he holds not simply as a tax-payer,
|
|
but as a gentleman among gentlemen. There are practices and there
|
|
are acts which, owing to circumstances, the law cannot visit,
|
|
though they may be worse than many things which are legally punishable.
|
|
Honest men and gentlemen, if they don't want the company of people who
|
|
perpetrate such acts, have got to defend themselves as they best can,
|
|
and that is what I and the friends whom I may call my clients in this
|
|
affair are determined to do. I don't say that Mr. Bulstrode has
|
|
been guilty of shameful acts, but I call upon him either publicly
|
|
to deny and confute the scandalous statements made against him by a
|
|
man now dead, and who died in his house--the statement that he was
|
|
for many years engaged in nefarious practices, and that he won his
|
|
fortune by dishonest procedures--or else to withdraw from positions
|
|
which could only have been allowed him as a gentleman among gentlemen."
|
|
|
|
All eyes in the room were turned on Mr. Bulstrode, who, since the first
|
|
mention of his name, had been going through a crisis of feeling almost
|
|
too violent for his delicate frame to support. Lydgate, who himself
|
|
was undergoing a shock as from the terrible practical interpretation
|
|
of some faint augury, felt, nevertheless, that his own movement
|
|
of resentful hatred was checked by that instinct of the Healer
|
|
which thinks first of bringing rescue or relief to the sufferer,
|
|
when he looked at the shrunken misery of Bulstrode's livid face.
|
|
|
|
The quick vision that his life was after all a failure, that he was
|
|
a dishonored man, and must quail before the glance of those towards
|
|
whom he had habitually assumed the attitude of a reprover--that God
|
|
had disowned him before men and left him unscreened to the triumphant
|
|
scorn of those who were glad to have their hatred justified--the sense
|
|
of utter futility in that equivocation with his conscience in dealing
|
|
with the life of his accomplice, an equivocation which now turned
|
|
venomously upon him with the full-grown fang of a discovered lie:--
|
|
all this rushed through him like the agony of terror which fails to kill,
|
|
and leaves the ears still open to the returning wave of execration.
|
|
The sudden sense of exposure after the re-established sense of
|
|
safety came--not to the coarse organization of a criminal but to--
|
|
the susceptible nerve of a man whose intensest being lay in such
|
|
mastery and predominance as the conditions of his life had shaped
|
|
for him.
|
|
|
|
But in that intense being lay the strength of reaction. Through all
|
|
his bodily infirmity there ran a tenacious nerve of ambitious
|
|
self-preserving will, which had continually leaped out like a flame,
|
|
scattering all doctrinal fears, and which, even while he sat
|
|
an object of compassion for the merciful, was beginning to stir
|
|
and glow under his ashy paleness. Before the last words were
|
|
out of Mr. Hawley's mouth, Bulstrode felt that he should answer,
|
|
and that his answer would be a retort. He dared not get up and say,
|
|
"I am not guilty, the whole story is false"--even if he had
|
|
dared this, it would have seemed to him, under his present keen sense
|
|
of betrayal, as vain as to pull, for covering to his nakedness,
|
|
a frail rag which would rend at every little strain.
|
|
|
|
For a few moments there was total silence, while every man
|
|
in the room was looking at Bulstrode. He sat perfectly still,
|
|
leaning hard against the back of his chair; he could not venture
|
|
to rise, and when he began to speak he pressed his hands upon
|
|
the seat on each side of him. But his voice was perfectly audible,
|
|
though hoarser than usual, and his words were distinctly pronounced,
|
|
though he paused between sentence as if short of breath. He said,
|
|
turning first toward Mr. Thesiger, and then looking at Mr. Hawley--
|
|
|
|
"I protest before you, sir, as a Christian minister, against the sanction
|
|
of proceedings towards me which are dictated by virulent hatred.
|
|
Those who are hostile to me are glad to believe any libel uttered
|
|
by a loose tongue against me. And their consciences become strict
|
|
against me. Say that the evil-speaking of which I am to be made
|
|
the victim accuses me of malpractices--" here Bulstrode's voice
|
|
rose and took on a more biting accent, till it seemed a low cry--
|
|
"who shall be my accuser? Not men whose own lives are unchristian,
|
|
nay, scandalous--not men who themselves use low instruments to
|
|
carry out their ends--whose profession is a tissue of chicanery--
|
|
who have been spending their income on their own sensual enjoyments,
|
|
while I have been devoting mine to advance the best objects with
|
|
regard to this life and the next."
|
|
|
|
After the word chicanery there was a growing noise, half of murmurs
|
|
and half of hisses, while four persons started up at once--Mr. Hawley,
|
|
Mr. Toller, Mr. Chichely, and Mr. Hackbutt; but Mr. Hawley's
|
|
outburst was instantaneous, and left the others behind in silence.
|
|
|
|
"If you mean me, sir, I call you and every one else to the inspection
|
|
of my professional life. As to Christian or unchristian, I repudiate
|
|
your canting palavering Christianity; and as to the way in which I
|
|
spend my income, it is not my principle to maintain thieves and cheat
|
|
offspring of their due inheritance in order to support religion
|
|
and set myself up as a saintly Killjoy. I affect no niceness
|
|
of conscience--I have not found any nice standards necessary yet
|
|
to measure your actions by, sir. And I again call upon you to enter
|
|
into satisfactory explanations concerning the scandals against you,
|
|
or else to withdraw from posts in which we at any rate decline you
|
|
as a colleague. I say, sir, we decline to co-operate with a man
|
|
whose character is not cleared from infamous lights cast upon it,
|
|
not only by reports but by recent actions."
|
|
|
|
"Allow me, Mr. Hawley," said the chairman; and Mr. Hawley,
|
|
still fuming, bowed half impatiently, and sat down with his hands
|
|
thrust deep in his pockets.
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Bulstrode, it is not desirable, I think, to prolong the
|
|
present discussion," said Mr. Thesiger, turning to the pallid
|
|
trembling man; "I must so far concur with what has fallen from
|
|
Mr. Hawley in expression of a general feeling, as to think it
|
|
due to your Christian profession that you should clear yourself,
|
|
if possible, from unhappy aspersions. I for my part should be
|
|
willing to give you full opportunity and hearing. But I must say
|
|
that your present attitude is painfully inconsistent with those
|
|
principles which you have sought to identify yourself with, and for
|
|
the honor of which I am bound to care. I recommend you at present,
|
|
as your clergyman, and one who hopes for your reinstatement
|
|
in respect, to quit the room, and avoid further hindrance to business."
|
|
|
|
Bulstrode, after a moment's hesitation, took his hat from the
|
|
floor and slowly rose, but he grasped the corner of the chair
|
|
so totteringly that Lydgate felt sure there was not strength
|
|
enough in him to walk away without support. What could he do?
|
|
He could not see a man sink close to him for want of help.
|
|
He rose and gave his arm to Bulstrode, and in that way led him out
|
|
of the room; yet this act, which might have been one of gentle duty
|
|
and pure compassion, was at this moment unspeakably bitter to him.
|
|
It seemed as if he were putting his sign-manual to that association
|
|
of himself with Bulstrode, of which he now saw the full meaning
|
|
as it must have presented itself to other minds. He now felt the
|
|
conviction that this man who was leaning tremblingly on his arm,
|
|
had given him the thousand pounds as a bribe, and that somehow the
|
|
treatment of Raffles had been tampered with from an evil motive.
|
|
The inferences were closely linked enough; the town knew of the loan,
|
|
believed it to be a bribe, and believed that he took it as a bribe.
|
|
|
|
Poor Lydgate, his mind struggling under the terrible clutch
|
|
of this revelation, was all the while morally forced to take
|
|
Mr. Bulstrode to the Bank, send a man off for his carriage,
|
|
and wait to accompany him home.
|
|
|
|
Meanwhile the business of the meeting was despatched, and fringed
|
|
off into eager discussion among various groups concerning this
|
|
affair of Bulstrode--and Lydgate.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke, who had before heard only imperfect hints of it,
|
|
and was very uneasy that he had "gone a little too far"
|
|
in countenancing Bulstrode, now got himself fully informed,
|
|
and felt some benevolent sadness in talking to Mr. Farebrother
|
|
about the ugly light in which Lydgate had come to be regarded.
|
|
Mr. Farebrother was going to walk back to Lowick.
|
|
|
|
"Step into my carriage," said Mr. Brooke. "I am going round to see
|
|
Mrs. Casaubon. She was to come back from Yorkshire last night.
|
|
She will like to see me, you know."
|
|
|
|
So they drove along, Mr. Brooke chatting with good-natured hope
|
|
that there had not really been anything black in Lydgate's behavior--
|
|
a young fellow whom he had seen to be quite above the common mark,
|
|
when he brought a letter from his uncle Sir Godwin. Mr. Farebrother
|
|
said little: he was deeply mournful: with a keen perception of
|
|
human weakness, he could not be confident that under the pressure
|
|
of humiliating needs Lydgate had not fallen below himself.
|
|
|
|
When the carriage drove up to the gate of the Manor, Dorothea was
|
|
out on the gravel, and came to greet them.
|
|
|
|
"Well, my dear," said Mr. Brooke, "we have just come from a meeting--
|
|
a sanitary meeting, you know."
|
|
|
|
"Was Mr. Lydgate there?" said Dorothea, who looked full of health
|
|
and animation, and stood with her head bare under the gleaming
|
|
April lights. "I want to see him and have a great consultation
|
|
with him about the Hospital. I have engaged with Mr. Bulstrode
|
|
to do so."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, my dear," said Mr. Brooke, "we have been hearing bad news--
|
|
bad news, you know."
|
|
|
|
They walked through the garden towards the churchyard gate,
|
|
Mr. Farebrother wanting to go on to the parsonage; and Dorothea
|
|
heard the whole sad story.
|
|
|
|
She listened with deep interest, and begged to hear twice over the
|
|
facts and impressions concerning Lydgate. After a short silence,
|
|
pausing at the churchyard gate, and addressing Mr. Farebrother,
|
|
she said energetically--
|
|
|
|
"You don't believe that Mr. Lydgate is guilty of anything base?
|
|
I will not believe it. Let us find out the truth and clear him!"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
BOOK VIII.
|
|
|
|
SUNSET AND SUNRISE.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXXII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Full souls are double mirrors, making still
|
|
An endless vista of fair things before,
|
|
Repeating things behind.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dorothea's impetuous generosity, which would have leaped at once
|
|
to the vindication of Lydgate from the suspicion of having
|
|
accepted money as a bribe, underwent a melancholy check when she
|
|
came to consider all the circumstances of the case by the light
|
|
of Mr. Farebrother's experience.
|
|
|
|
"It is a delicate matter to touch," he said. "How can we begin
|
|
to inquire into it? It must be either publicly by setting the
|
|
magistrate and coroner to work, or privately by questioning Lydgate.
|
|
As to the first proceeding there is no solid ground to go upon,
|
|
else Hawley would have adopted it; and as to opening the subject
|
|
with Lydgate, I confess I should shrink from it. He would probably
|
|
take it as a deadly insult. I have more than once experienced the
|
|
difficulty of speaking to him on personal matters. And--one should
|
|
know the truth about his conduct beforehand, to feel very confident
|
|
of a good result."
|
|
|
|
"I feel convinced that his conduct has not been guilty: I believe that
|
|
people are almost always better than their neighbors think they are,"
|
|
said Dorothea. Some of her intensest experience in the last two
|
|
years had set her mind strongly in opposition to any unfavorable
|
|
construction of others; and for the first time she felt rather
|
|
discontented with Mr. Farebrother. She disliked this cautious
|
|
weighing of consequences, instead of an ardent faith in efforts
|
|
of justice and mercy, which would conquer by their emotional force.
|
|
Two days afterwards, he was dining at the Manor with her uncle
|
|
and the Chettams, and when the dessert was standing uneaten,
|
|
the servants were out of the room, and Mr. Brooke was nodding
|
|
in a nap, she returned to the subject with renewed vivacity.
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Lydgate would understand that if his friends hear a calumny
|
|
about him their first wish must be to justify him. What do we
|
|
live for, if it is not to make life less difficult to each other?
|
|
I cannot be indifferent to the troubles of a man who advised me
|
|
in MY trouble, and attended me in my illness."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea's tone and manner were not more energetic than they
|
|
had been when she was at the head of her uncle's table nearly
|
|
three years before, and her experience since had given her more
|
|
right to express a decided opinion. But Sir James Chettam was no
|
|
longer the diffident and acquiescent suitor: he was the anxious
|
|
brother-in-law, with a devout admiration for his sister, but with a
|
|
constant alarm lest she should fall under some new illusion almost
|
|
as bad as marrying Casaubon. He smiled much less; when he said
|
|
"Exactly" it was more often an introduction to a dissentient opinion
|
|
than in those submissive bachelor days; and Dorothea found to her
|
|
surprise that she had to resolve not to be afraid of him--all the
|
|
more because he was really her best friend. He disagreed with her now.
|
|
|
|
"But, Dorothea," he said, remonstrantly, "you can't undertake
|
|
to manage a man's life for him in that way. Lydgate must know--
|
|
at least he will soon come to know how he stands. If he can
|
|
clear himself, he will. He must act for himself."
|
|
|
|
"I think his friends must wait till they find an opportunity,"
|
|
added Mr. Farebrother. "It is possible--I have often felt
|
|
so much weakness in myself that I can conceive even a man of
|
|
honorable disposition, such as I have always believed Lydgate to be,
|
|
succumbing to such a temptation as that of accepting money which was
|
|
offered more or less indirectly as a bribe to insure his silence
|
|
about scandalous facts long gone by. I say, I can conceive this,
|
|
if he were under the pressure of hard circumstances--if he had been
|
|
harassed as I feel sure Lydgate has been. I would not believe
|
|
anything worse of him except under stringent proof. But there is
|
|
the terrible Nemesis following on some errors, that it is always
|
|
possible for those who like it to interpret them into a crime:
|
|
there is no proof in favor of the man outside his own consciousness
|
|
and assertion."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, how cruel!" said Dorothea, clasping her hands. "And would you
|
|
not like to be the one person who believed in that man's innocence,
|
|
if the rest of the world belied him? Besides, there is a man's
|
|
character beforehand to speak for him."
|
|
|
|
"But, my dear Mrs. Casaubon," said Mr. Farebrother, smiling gently
|
|
at her ardor, "character is not cut in marble--it is not something
|
|
solid and unalterable. It is something living and changing,
|
|
and may become diseased as our bodies do."
|
|
|
|
"Then it may be rescued and healed," said Dorothea "I should not
|
|
be afraid of asking Mr. Lydgate to tell me the truth, that I might
|
|
help him. Why should I be afraid? Now that I am not to have
|
|
the land, James, I might do as Mr. Bulstrode proposed, and take
|
|
his place in providing for the Hospital; and I have to consult
|
|
Mr. Lydgate, to know thoroughly what are the prospects of doing
|
|
good by keeping up the present plans. There is the best opportunity
|
|
in the world for me to ask for his confidence; and he would be able
|
|
to tell me things which might make all the circumstances clear.
|
|
Then we would all stand by him and bring him out of his trouble.
|
|
People glorify all sorts of bravery except the bravery they might
|
|
show on behalf of their nearest neighbors." Dorothea's eyes had
|
|
a moist brightness in them, and the changed tones of her voice
|
|
roused her uncle, who began to listen.
|
|
|
|
"It is true that a woman may venture on some efforts of sympathy which
|
|
would hardly succeed if we men undertook them," said Mr. Farebrother,
|
|
almost converted by Dorothea's ardor.
|
|
|
|
"Surely, a woman is bound to be cautious and listen to those who
|
|
know the world better than she does." said Sir James, with his
|
|
little frown. "Whatever you do in the end, Dorothea, you should
|
|
really keep back at present, and not volunteer any meddling with
|
|
this Bulstrode business. We don't know yet what may turn up.
|
|
You must agree with me?" he ended, looking at Mr. Farebrother.
|
|
|
|
"I do think it would be better to wait," said the latter.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, yes, my dear," said Mr. Brooke, not quite knowing at what point
|
|
the discussion had arrived, but coming up to it with a contribution
|
|
which was generally appropriate. "It is easy to go too far, you know.
|
|
You must not let your ideas run away with you. And as to being
|
|
in a hurry to put money into schemes--it won't do, you know.
|
|
Garth has drawn me in uncommonly with repairs, draining, that sort
|
|
of thing: I'm uncommonly out of pocket with one thing or another.
|
|
I must pull up. As for you, Chettam, you are spending a fortune on
|
|
those oak fences round your demesne."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea, submitting uneasily to this discouragement, went with
|
|
Celia into the library, which was her usual drawing-room.
|
|
|
|
"Now, Dodo, do listen to what James says," said Celia, "else you
|
|
will be getting into a scrape. You always did, and you always will,
|
|
when you set about doing as you please. And I think it is a mercy
|
|
now after all that you have got James to think for you. He lets
|
|
you have your plans, only he hinders you from being taken in.
|
|
And that is the good of having a brother instead of a husband.
|
|
A husband would not let you have your plans."
|
|
|
|
"As if I wanted a husband!" said Dorothea. "I only want not to
|
|
have my feelings checked at every turn." Mrs. Casaubon was still
|
|
undisciplined enough to burst into angry tears.
|
|
|
|
"Now, really, Dodo," said Celia, with rather a deeper guttural than usual,
|
|
"you ARE contradictory: first one thing and then another.
|
|
You used to submit to Mr. Casaubon quite shamefully: I think you
|
|
would have given up ever coming to see me if he had asked you."
|
|
|
|
"Of course I submitted to him, because it was my duty; it was my
|
|
feeling for him," said Dorothea, looking through the prism of her tears.
|
|
|
|
"Then why can't you think it your duty to submit a little to what
|
|
James wishes?" said Celia, with a sense of stringency in her argument.
|
|
"Because he only wishes what is for your own good. And, of course,
|
|
men know best about everything, except what women know better."
|
|
Dorothea laughed and forgot her tears.
|
|
|
|
"Well, I mean about babies and those things," explained Celia.
|
|
"I should not give up to James when I knew he was wrong, as you used
|
|
to do to Mr. Casaubon."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXXIII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Pity the laden one; this wandering woe
|
|
May visit you and me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
When Lydgate had allayed Mrs. Bulstrode's anxiety by telling her
|
|
that her husband had been seized with faintness at the meeting,
|
|
but that he trusted soon to see him better and would call again
|
|
the next day, unless she-sent for him earlier, he went directly home,
|
|
got on his horse, and rode three miles out of the town for the sake
|
|
of being out of reach.
|
|
|
|
He felt himself becoming violent and unreasonable as if raging
|
|
under the pain of stings: he was ready to curse the day on
|
|
which he had come to Middlemarch. Everything that bad happened
|
|
to him there seemed a mere preparation for this hateful fatality,
|
|
which had come as a blight on his honorable ambition, and must make
|
|
even people who had only vulgar standards regard his reputation
|
|
as irrevocably damaged. In such moments a man can hardly escape
|
|
being unloving. Lydgate thought of himself as the sufferer,
|
|
and of others as the agents who had injured his lot. He had meant
|
|
everything to turn out differently; and others had thrust themselves
|
|
into his life and thwarted his purposes. His marriage seemed an
|
|
unmitigated calamity; and he was afraid of going to Rosamond before
|
|
he had vented himself in this solitary rage, lest the mere sight
|
|
of her should exasperate him and make him behave unwarrantably.
|
|
There are episodes in most men's lives in which their highest
|
|
qualities can only cast a deterring shadow over the objects that fill
|
|
their inward vision: Lydgate's tenderheartedness was present just
|
|
then only as a dread lest he should offend against it, not as an
|
|
emotion that swayed him to tenderness. For he was very miserable.
|
|
Only those who know the supremacy of the intellectual life--
|
|
the life which has a seed of ennobling thought and purpose within it--
|
|
can understand the grief of one who falls from that serene activity
|
|
into the absorbing soul-wasting struggle with worldly annoyances.
|
|
|
|
How was he to live on without vindicating himself among people
|
|
who suspected him of baseness? How could he go silently away from
|
|
Middlemarch as if he were retreating before a just condemnation?
|
|
And yet how was he to set about vindicating himself?
|
|
|
|
For that scene at the meeting, which he had just witnessed,
|
|
although it had told him no particulars, had been enough to make
|
|
his own situation thoroughly clear to him. Bulstrode had been
|
|
in dread of scandalous disclosures on the part of Raffles.
|
|
Lydgate could now construct all the probabilities of the case.
|
|
"He was afraid of some betrayal in my hearing: all he wanted was
|
|
to bind me to him by a strong obligation: that was why he passed
|
|
on a sudden from hardness to liberality. And he may have tampered
|
|
with the patient--he may have disobeyed my orders. I fear he did.
|
|
But whether he did or not, the world believes that he somehow or other
|
|
poisoned the man and that I winked at the crime, if I didn't help
|
|
in it. And yet--and yet he may not be guilty of the last offence;
|
|
and it is just possible that the change towards me may have been a
|
|
genuine relenting--the effect of second thoughts such as he alleged.
|
|
What we call the `just possible' is sometimes true and the thing we
|
|
find it easier to believe is grossly false. In his last dealings
|
|
with this man Bulstrode may have kept his hands pure, in spite of my
|
|
suspicion to the contrary."
|
|
|
|
There was a benumbing cruelty in his position. Even if he renounced
|
|
every other consideration than that of justifying himself--
|
|
if he met shrugs, cold glances, and avoidance as an accusation,
|
|
and made a public statement of all the facts as he knew them,
|
|
who would be convinced? It would be playing the part of a fool
|
|
to offer his own testimony on behalf of himself, and say, "I did
|
|
not take the money as a bribe." The circumstances would always
|
|
be stronger than his assertion. And besides, to come forward
|
|
and tell everything about himself must include declarations about
|
|
Bulstrode which would darken the suspicions of others against him.
|
|
He must tell that he had not known of Raffles's existence when he
|
|
first mentioned his pressing need of money to Bulstrode, and that
|
|
he took the money innocently as a result of that communication,
|
|
not knowing that a new motive for the loan might have arisen on
|
|
his being called in to this man. And after all, the suspicion
|
|
of Bulstrode's motives might be unjust.
|
|
|
|
But then came the question whether he should have acted in precisely
|
|
the same way if he had not taken the money? Certainly, if Raffles had
|
|
continued alive and susceptible of further treatment when he arrived,
|
|
and he had then imagined any disobedience to his orders on the part
|
|
of Bulstrode, he would have made a strict inquiry, and if his conjecture
|
|
had been verified he would have thrown up the case, in spite of his
|
|
recent heavy obligation. But if he had not received any money--
|
|
if Bulstrode had never revoked his cold recommendation of bankruptcy--
|
|
would he, Lydgate, have abstained from all inquiry even on finding
|
|
the man dead?--would the shrinking from an insult to Bulstrode--
|
|
would the dubiousness of all medical treatment and the argument
|
|
that his own treatment would pass for the wrong with most members
|
|
of his profession--have had just the same force or significance
|
|
with him?
|
|
|
|
That was the uneasy corner of Lydgate's consciousness while he
|
|
was reviewing the facts and resisting all reproach. If he
|
|
had been independent, this matter of a patient's treatment
|
|
and the distinct rule that he must do or see done that which he
|
|
believed best for the life committed to him, would have been
|
|
the point on which he would have been the sturdiest. As it was,
|
|
he had rested in the consideration that disobedience to his orders,
|
|
however it might have arisen, could not be considered a crime,
|
|
that in the dominant opinion obedience to his orders was just as
|
|
likely to be fatal, and that the affair was simply one of etiquette.
|
|
Whereas, again and again, in his time of freedom, he had denounced
|
|
the perversion of pathological doubt into moral doubt and had said--
|
|
"the purest experiment in treatment may still be conscientious:
|
|
my business is to take care of life, and to do the best I can
|
|
think of for it. Science is properly more scrupulous than dogma.
|
|
Dogma gives a charter to mistake, but the very breath of science
|
|
is a contest with mistake, and must keep the conscience alive."
|
|
Alas! the scientific conscience had got into the debasing company of
|
|
money obligation and selfish respects.
|
|
|
|
"Is there a medical man of them all in Middlemarch who would question
|
|
himself as I do?" said poor Lydgate, with a renewed outburst of
|
|
rebellion against the oppression of his lot. "And yet they will all
|
|
feel warranted in making a wide space between me and them, as if I
|
|
were a leper! My practice and my reputation are utterly damned--
|
|
I can see that. Even if I could be cleared by valid evidence,
|
|
it would make little difference to the blessed world here.
|
|
I have been set down as tainted and should be cheapened to them
|
|
all the same."
|
|
|
|
Already there had been abundant signs which had hitherto puzzled him,
|
|
that just when he had been paying off his debts and getting cheerfully
|
|
on his feet, the townsmen were avoiding him or looking strangely.
|
|
at him, and in two instances it came to his knowledge that patients
|
|
of his had called in another practitioner. The reasons were too
|
|
plain now. The general black-balling had begun.
|
|
|
|
No wonder that in Lydgate's energetic nature the sense of a
|
|
hopeless misconstruction easily turned into a dogged resistance.
|
|
The scowl which occasionally showed itself on his square brow was not
|
|
a meaningless accident. Already when he was re-entering the town
|
|
after that ride taken in the first hours of stinging pain, he was
|
|
setting his mind on remaining in Middlemarch in spite of the worst
|
|
that could be done against him. He would not retreat before calumny,
|
|
as if he submitted to it. He would face it to the utmost, and no act
|
|
of his should show that he was afraid. It belonged to the generosity
|
|
as well as defiant force of his nature that he resolved not to shrink
|
|
from showing to the full his sense of obligation to Bulstrode.
|
|
It was true that the association with this man had been fatal to him--
|
|
true that if he had had the thousand pounds still in his hands with
|
|
all his debts unpaid he would have returned the money to Bulstrode,
|
|
and taken beggary rather than the rescue which had been sullied with
|
|
the suspicion of a bribe (for, remember, he was one of the proudest
|
|
among the sons of men)--nevertheless, he would not turn away from
|
|
this crushed fellow-mortal whose aid he had used, and make a pitiful
|
|
effort to get acquittal for himself by howling against another.
|
|
"I shall do as I think right, and explain to nobody. They will try
|
|
to starve me out, but--" he was going on with an obstinate resolve,
|
|
but he was getting near home, and the thought of Rosamond urged
|
|
itself again into that chief place from which it had been thrust
|
|
by the agonized struggles of wounded honor and pride.
|
|
|
|
How would Rosamond take it all? Here was another weight of chain to drag,
|
|
and poor Lydgate was in a bad mood for bearing her dumb mastery.
|
|
He had no impulse to tell her the trouble which must soon be common
|
|
to them both. He preferred waiting for the incidental disclosure
|
|
which events must soon bring about.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXXIV.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Mercifully grant that we may grow aged together."
|
|
--BOOK OF TOBIT: Marriage Prayer.
|
|
|
|
|
|
In Middlemarch a wife could not long remain ignorant that the town
|
|
held a bad opinion of her husband. No feminine intimate might carry
|
|
her friendship so far as to make a plain statement to the wife of the
|
|
unpleasant fact known or believed about her husband; but when a woman
|
|
with her thoughts much at leisure got them suddenly employed on
|
|
something grievously disadvantageous to her neighbors, various moral
|
|
impulses were called into play which tended to stimulate utterance.
|
|
Candor was one. To be candid, in Middlemarch phraseology, meant,
|
|
to use an early opportunity of letting your friends know that you
|
|
did not take a cheerful view of their capacity, their conduct,
|
|
or their position; and a robust candor never waited to be asked for
|
|
its opinion. Then, again, there was the love of truth--a wide phrase,
|
|
but meaning in this relation, a lively objection to seeing a wife
|
|
look happier than her husband's character warranted, or manifest
|
|
too much satisfaction in her lot--the poor thing should have some hint
|
|
given her that if she knew the truth she would have less complacency
|
|
in her bonnet, and in light dishes for a supper-party. Stronger
|
|
than all, there was the regard for a friend's moral improvement,
|
|
sometimes called her soul, which was likely to be benefited by remarks
|
|
tending to gloom, uttered with the accompaniment of pensive staring
|
|
at the furniture and a manner implying that the speaker would not tell
|
|
what was on her mind, from regard to the feelings of her hearer.
|
|
On the whole, one might say that an ardent charity was at work
|
|
setting the virtuous mind to make a neighbor unhappy for her good.
|
|
|
|
There were hardly any wives in Middlemarch whose matrimonial misfortunes
|
|
would in different ways be likely to call forth more of this moral
|
|
activity than Rosamond and her aunt Bulstrode. Mrs. Bulstrode
|
|
was not an object of dislike, and had never consciously injured any
|
|
human being. Men had always thought her a handsome comfortable woman,
|
|
and had reckoned it among the signs of Bulstrode's hypocrisy that he
|
|
had chosen a red-blooded Vincy, instead of a ghastly and melancholy
|
|
person suited to his low esteem for earthly pleasure. When the scandal
|
|
about her husband was disclosed they remarked of her--"Ah, poor woman!
|
|
She's as honest as the day--SHE never suspected anything wrong
|
|
in him, you may depend on it." Women, who were intimate with her,
|
|
talked together much of "poor Harriet," imagined what her feelings
|
|
must be when she came to know everything, and conjectured how much
|
|
she had already come to know. There was no spiteful disposition
|
|
towards her; rather, there was a busy benevolence anxious to ascertain
|
|
what it would be well for her to feel and do under the circumstances,
|
|
which of course kept the imagination occupied with her character
|
|
and history from the times when she was Harriet Vincy till now.
|
|
With the review of Mrs. Bulstrode and her position it was inevitable
|
|
to associate Rosamond, whose prospects were under the same blight
|
|
with her aunt's. Rosamond was more severely criticised and less pitied,
|
|
though she too, as one of the good old Vincy family who had always
|
|
been known in Middlemarch, was regarded as a victim to marriage
|
|
with an interloper. The Vincys had their weaknesses, but then they
|
|
lay on the surface: there was never anything bad to be "found out"
|
|
concerning them. Mrs. Bulstrode was vindicated from any resemblance
|
|
to her husband. Harriet's faults were her own.
|
|
|
|
"She has always been showy," said Mrs. Hackbutt, making tea for
|
|
a small party, "though she has got into the way of putting her
|
|
religion forward, to conform to her husband; she has tried to hold
|
|
her head up above Middlemarch by making it known that she invites
|
|
clergymen and heaven-knows-who from Riverston and those places."
|
|
|
|
"We can hardly blame her for that," said Mrs. Sprague; "because few
|
|
of the best people in the town cared to associate with Balstrode,
|
|
and she must have somebody to sit down at her table."
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Thesiger has always countenanced him," said Mrs. Hackbutt.
|
|
"I think he must be sorry now."
|
|
|
|
"But he was never fond of him in his heart--that every one knows,"
|
|
said Mrs. Tom Toller. "Mr. Thesiger never goes into extremes.
|
|
He keeps to the truth in what is evangelical. It is only clergymen
|
|
like Mr. Tyke, who want to use Dissenting hymn-books and that low kind
|
|
of religion, who ever found Bulstrode to their taste."
|
|
|
|
"I understand, Mr. Tyke is in great distress about him,"
|
|
said Mrs. Hackbutt. "And well he may be: they say the Bulstrodes
|
|
have half kept the Tyke family."
|
|
|
|
"And of coarse it is a discredit to his doctrines," said Mrs. Sprague,
|
|
who was elderly, and old-fashioned in her opinions.
|
|
|
|
"People will not make a boast of being methodistical in Middlemarch
|
|
for a good while to come."
|
|
|
|
"I think we must not set down people's bad actions to their religion,"
|
|
said falcon-faced Mrs. Plymdale, who had been listening hitherto.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, my dear, we are forgetting," said Mrs. Sprague. "We ought
|
|
not to be talking of this before you."
|
|
|
|
"I am sure I have no reason to be partial," said Mrs. Plymdale,
|
|
coloring. "It's true Mr. Plymdale has always been on good terms
|
|
with Mr. Bulstrode, and Harriet Vincy was my friend long before
|
|
she married him. But I have always kept my own opinions and told
|
|
her where she was wrong, poor thing. Still, in point of religion,
|
|
I must say, Mr. Bulstrode might have done what he has, and worse,
|
|
and yet have been a man of no religion. I don't say that there
|
|
has not been a little too much of that--I like moderation myself.
|
|
But truth is truth. The men tried at the assizes are not all
|
|
over-religious, I suppose."
|
|
|
|
"Well," said Mrs. Hackbutt, wheeling adroitly, "all I can say is,
|
|
that I think she ought to separate from him."
|
|
|
|
"I can't say that," said Mrs. Sprague. "She took him for better
|
|
or worse, you know."
|
|
|
|
"But `worse' can never mean finding out that your husband is fit
|
|
for Newgate," said Mrs. Hackbutt. "Fancy living with such a man!
|
|
I should expect to be poisoned."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I think myself it is an encouragement to crime if such men are
|
|
to be taken care of and waited on by good wives," said Mrs. Tom Toller.
|
|
|
|
"And a good wife poor Harriet has been," said Mrs. Plymdale.
|
|
"She thinks her husband the first of men. It's true he has never
|
|
denied her anything."
|
|
|
|
"Well, we shall see what she will do," said Mrs. Hackbutt.
|
|
"I suppose she knows nothing yet, poor creature. I do hope and trust
|
|
I shall not see her, for I should be frightened to death lest I
|
|
should say anything about her husband. Do you think any hint has
|
|
reached her?"
|
|
|
|
"I should hardly think so," said Mrs. Tom Toller. "We hear that he
|
|
is ill, and has never stirred out of the house since the meeting
|
|
on Thursday; but she was with her girls at church yesterday,
|
|
and they had new Tuscan bonnets. Her own had a feather in it.
|
|
I have never seen that her religion made any difference in her dress."
|
|
|
|
"She wears very neat patterns always," said Mrs. Plymdale,
|
|
a little stung. "And that feather I know she got dyed a pale
|
|
lavender on purpose to be consistent. I must say it of Harriet
|
|
that she wishes to do right."
|
|
|
|
"As to her knowing what has happened, it can't be kept from her long,"
|
|
said Mrs. Hackbutt. "The Vincys know, for Mr. Vincy was at the meeting.
|
|
It will he a great blow to him. There is his daughter as well
|
|
as his sister."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, indeed," said Mrs. Sprague. "Nobody supposes that Mr. Lydgate
|
|
can go on holding up his head in Middlemarch, things look so black
|
|
about the thousand pounds he took just at that man's death.
|
|
It really makes one shudder."
|
|
|
|
"Pride must have a fall," said Mrs. Hackbutt.
|
|
|
|
"I am not so sorry for Rosamond Vincy that was as I am for her aunt,"
|
|
said Mrs. Plymdale. "She needed a lesson."
|
|
|
|
"I suppose the Bulstrodes will go and live abroad somewhere,"
|
|
said Mrs. Sprague. "That is what is generally done when there is
|
|
anything disgraceful in a family."
|
|
|
|
"And a most deadly blow it will be to Harriet," said Mrs. Plymdale.
|
|
"If ever a woman was crushed, she will be. I pity her from my heart.
|
|
And with all her faults, few women are better. From a girl she had
|
|
the neatest ways, and was always good-hearted, and as open as the day.
|
|
You might look into her drawers when you would--always the same.
|
|
And so she has brought up Kate and Ellen. You may think how hard it
|
|
will be for her to go among foreigners."
|
|
|
|
"The doctor says that is what he should recommend the Lydgates to do,"
|
|
said Mrs. Sprague. "He says Lydgate ought to have kept among
|
|
the French."
|
|
|
|
"That would suit HER well enough, I dare say," said Mrs. Plymdale;
|
|
"there is that kind of lightness about her. But she got that from
|
|
her mother; she never got it from her aunt Bulstrode, who always
|
|
gave her good advice, and to my knowledge would rather have had
|
|
her marry elsewhere."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Plymdale was in a situation which caused her some complication
|
|
of feeling. There had been not only her intimacy with Mrs. Bulstrode,
|
|
but also a profitable business relation of the great Plymdale dyeing
|
|
house with Mr. Bulstrode, which on the one hand would have inclined
|
|
her to desire that the mildest view of his character should be
|
|
the true one, but on the other, made her the more afraid of seeming
|
|
to palliate his culpability. Again, the late alliance of her family
|
|
with the Tollers had brought her in connection with the best circle,
|
|
which gratified her in every direction except in the inclination to
|
|
those serious views which she believed to be the best in another sense.
|
|
The sharp little woman's conscience was somewhat troubled in
|
|
the adjustment of these opposing "bests," and of her griefs and
|
|
satisfactions under late events, which were likely to humble those
|
|
who needed humbling, but also to fall heavily on her old friend whose
|
|
faults she would have preferred seeing on a background of prosperity.
|
|
|
|
Poor Mrs. Bulstrode, meanwhile, had been no further shaken by the
|
|
oncoming tread of calamity than in the busier stirring of that secret
|
|
uneasiness which had always been present in her since the last
|
|
visit of Raffles to The Shrubs. That the hateful man had come ill
|
|
to Stone Court, and that her husband had chosen to remain there
|
|
and watch over him, she allowed to be explained by the fact that
|
|
Raffles had been employed and aided in earlier-days, and that this
|
|
made a tie of benevolence towards him in his degraded helplessness;
|
|
and she had been since then innocently cheered by her husband's
|
|
more hopeful speech about his own health and ability to continue
|
|
his attention to business. The calm was disturbed when Lydgate had
|
|
brought him home ill from the meeting, and in spite of comforting
|
|
assurances during the next few days, she cried in private from
|
|
the conviction that her husband was not suffering from bodily
|
|
illness merely, but from something that afflicted his mind.
|
|
He would not allow her to read to him, and scarcely to sit with him,
|
|
alleging nervous susceptibility to sounds and movements; yet she
|
|
suspected that in shutting himself up in his private room he wanted
|
|
to be busy with his papers. Something, she felt sure, had happened.
|
|
Perhaps it was some great loss of money; and she was kept in the dark.
|
|
Not daring to question her husband, she said to Lydgate, on the fifth
|
|
day after the meeting, when she had not left home except to go to church--
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Lydgate, pray be open with me: I like to know the truth.
|
|
Has anything happened to Mr. Bulstrode?"
|
|
|
|
"Some little nervous shock," said Lydgate, evasively. He felt
|
|
that it was not for him to make the painful revelation.
|
|
|
|
"But what brought it on?" said Mrs. Bulstrode, looking directly
|
|
at him with her large dark eyes.
|
|
|
|
"There is often something poisonous in the air of public rooms,"
|
|
said Lydgate. "Strong men can stand it, but it tells on people
|
|
in proportion to the delicacy of their systems. It is often
|
|
impossible to account for the precise moment of an attack--or rather,
|
|
to say why the strength gives way at a particular moment."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Bulstrode was not satisfied with this answer. There remained
|
|
in her the belief that some calamity had befallen her husband,
|
|
of which she was to be kept in ignorance; and it was in her nature
|
|
strongly to object to such concealment. She begged leave for her
|
|
daughters to sit with their father, and drove into the town to pay
|
|
some visits, conjecturing that if anything were known to have gone
|
|
wrong in Mr. Bulstrode's affairs, she should see or hear some sign
|
|
of it.
|
|
|
|
She called on Mrs. Thesiger, who was not at home, and then
|
|
drove to Mrs. Hackbutt's on the other side of the churchyard.
|
|
Mrs. Hackbutt saw her coming from an up-stairs window, and remembering
|
|
her former alarm lest she should meet Mrs. Bulstrode, felt almost
|
|
bound in consistency to send word that she was not at home;
|
|
but against that, there was a sudden strong desire within her for
|
|
the excitement of an interview in which she was quite determined
|
|
not to make the slightest allusion to what was in her mind.
|
|
|
|
Hence Mrs. Bulstrode was shown into the drawing-room, and Mrs. Hackbutt
|
|
went to her, with more tightness of lip and rubbing of her hands than
|
|
was usually observable in her, these being precautions adopted against
|
|
freedom of speech. She was resolved not to ask how Mr. Bulstrode was.
|
|
|
|
"I have not been anywhere except to church for nearly a week,"
|
|
said Mrs. Bulstrode, after a few introductory remarks.
|
|
"But Mr. Bulstrode was taken so ill at the meeting on Thursday
|
|
that I have not liked to leave the house."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Hackbutt rubbed the back of one hand with the palm of the other
|
|
held against her chest, and let her eyes ramble over the pattern
|
|
on the rug.
|
|
|
|
"Was Mr. Hackbutt at the meeting?" persevered Mrs. Bulstrode.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, he was," said Mrs. Hackbutt, with the same attitude.
|
|
"The land is to be bought by subscription, I believe."
|
|
|
|
"Let us hope that there will be no more cases of cholera to be
|
|
buried in it," said Mrs. Bulstrode. "It is an awful visitation.
|
|
But I always think Middlemarch a very healthy spot. I suppose it
|
|
is being used to it from a child; but I never saw the town I should
|
|
like to live at better, and especially our end."
|
|
|
|
"I am sure I should be glad that you always should live at Middlemarch,
|
|
Mrs. Bulstrode," said Mrs. Hackbutt, with a slight sigh. "Still, we
|
|
must learn to resign ourselves, wherever our lot may be east.
|
|
Though I am sure there will always be people in this town who will
|
|
wish you well."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Hackbutt longed to say, "if you take my advice you will part
|
|
from your husband," but it seemed clear to her that the poor
|
|
woman knew nothing of the thunder ready to bolt on her head,
|
|
and she herself could do no more than prepare her a little.
|
|
Mrs. Bulstrode felt suddenly rather chill and trembling: there was
|
|
evidently something unusual behind this speech of Mrs. Hackbutt's;
|
|
but though she had set out with the desire to be fully informed,
|
|
she found herself unable now to pursue her brave purpose, and turning
|
|
the conversation by an inquiry about the young Hackbutts, she soon
|
|
took her leave saying that she was going to see Mrs. Plymdale.
|
|
On her way thither she tried to imagine that there might have been
|
|
some unusually warm sparring at the meeting between Mr. Bulstrode and
|
|
some of his frequent opponents--perhaps Mr. Hackbutt might have been
|
|
one of them. That would account for everything.
|
|
|
|
But when she was in conversation with Mrs. Plymdale that comforting
|
|
explanation seemed no longer tenable. "Selina" received her with a
|
|
pathetic affectionateness and a disposition to give edifying answers on
|
|
the commonest topics, which could hardly have reference to an ordinary
|
|
quarrel of which the most important consequence was a perturbation
|
|
of Mr. Bulstrode's health. Beforehand Mrs. Bulstrode had thought
|
|
that she would sooner question Mrs. Plymdale than any one else;
|
|
but she found to her surprise that an old friend is not always
|
|
the person whom it is easiest to make a confidant of: there was
|
|
the barrier of remembered communication under other circumstances--
|
|
there was the dislike of being pitied and informed by one who had been
|
|
long wont to allow her the superiority. For certain words of mysterious
|
|
appropriateness that Mrs. Plymdale let fall about her resolution
|
|
never to turn her back on her friends, convinced Mrs. Bulstrode
|
|
that what had happened must be some kind of misfortune, and instead
|
|
of being able to say with her native directness, "What is it that you
|
|
have in your mind?" she found herself anxious to get away before she
|
|
had heard anything more explicit. She began to have an agitating
|
|
certainty that the misfortune was something more than the mere
|
|
loss of money, being keenly sensitive to the fact that Selina now,
|
|
just as Mrs. Hackbutt had done before, avoided noticing what she said
|
|
about her husband, as they would have avoided noticing a personal blemish.
|
|
|
|
She said good-by with nervous haste, and told the coachman to drive
|
|
to Mr. Vincy's warehouse. In that short drive her dread gathered
|
|
so much force from the sense of darkness, that when she entered
|
|
the private counting-house where her brother sat at his desk,
|
|
her knees trembled and her usually florid face was deathly pale.
|
|
Something of the same effect was produced in him by the sight of her:
|
|
he rose from his seat to meet her, took her by the hand, and said,
|
|
with his impulsive rashness--
|
|
|
|
"God help you, Harriet! you know all."
|
|
|
|
That moment was perhaps worse than any which came after. It contained
|
|
that concentrated experience which in great crises of emotion
|
|
reveals the bias of a nature, and is prophetic of the ultimate
|
|
act which will end an intermediate struggle. Without that memory
|
|
of Raffles she might still have thought only of monetary ruin,
|
|
but now along with her brother's look and words there darted into
|
|
her mind the idea of some guilt in her husband--then, under the
|
|
working of terror came the image of her husband exposed to disgrace--
|
|
and then, after an instant of scorching shame in which she felt
|
|
only the eyes of the world, with one leap of her heart she was
|
|
at his side in mournful but unreproaching fellowship with shame
|
|
and isolation. All this went on within her in a mere flash of time--
|
|
while she sank into the chair, and raised her eyes to her brother,
|
|
who stood over her. "I know nothing, Walter. What is it?"
|
|
she said, faintly.
|
|
|
|
He told her everything, very inartificially, in slow fragments,
|
|
making her aware that the scandal went much beyond proof,
|
|
especially as to the end of Raffles.
|
|
|
|
"People will talk," he said. "Even if a man has been acquitted by
|
|
a jury, they'll talk, and nod and wink--and as far as the world goes,
|
|
a man might often as well be guilty as not. It's a breakdown blow,
|
|
and it damages Lydgate as much as Bulstrode. I don't pretend to say
|
|
what is the truth. I only wish we had never heard the name of either
|
|
Bulstrode or Lydgate. You'd better have been a Vincy all your life,
|
|
and so had Rosamond." Mrs. Bulstrode made no reply.
|
|
|
|
"But you must bear up as well as you can, Harriet. People don't blame
|
|
YOU. And I'll stand by you whatever you make up your mind to do,"
|
|
said the brother, with rough but well-meaning affectionateness.
|
|
|
|
"Give me your arm to the carriage, Walter," said Mrs. Bulstrode.
|
|
"I feel very weak."
|
|
|
|
And when she got home she was obliged to say to her daughter, "I am
|
|
not well, my dear; I must go and lie down. Attend to your papa.
|
|
Leave me in quiet. I shall take no dinner."
|
|
|
|
She locked herself in her room. She needed time to get used to her
|
|
maimed consciousness, her poor lopped life, before she could walk
|
|
steadily to the place allotted her. A new searching light had fallen
|
|
on her husband's character, and she could not judge him leniently:
|
|
the twenty years in which she had believed in him and venerated
|
|
him by virtue of his concealments came back with particulars
|
|
that made them seem an odious deceit. He had married her with
|
|
that bad past life hidden behind him, and she had no faith left
|
|
to protest his innocence of the worst that was imputed to him.
|
|
Her honest ostentatious nature made the sharing of a merited
|
|
dishonor as bitter as it could be to any mortal.
|
|
|
|
But this imperfectly taught woman, whose phrases and habits were
|
|
an odd patchwork, had a loyal spirit within her. The man whose
|
|
prosperity she had shared through nearly half a life, and who
|
|
had unvaryingly cherished her--now that punishment had befallen
|
|
him it was not possible to her in any sense to forsake him.
|
|
There is a forsaking which still sits at the same board and lies
|
|
on the same couch with the forsaken soul, withering it the more by
|
|
unloving proximity. She knew, when she locked her door, that she
|
|
should unlock it ready to go down to her unhappy husband and espouse
|
|
his sorrow, and say of his guilt, I will mourn and not reproach.
|
|
But she needed time to gather up her strength; she needed to sob
|
|
out her farewell to all the gladness and pride of her life.
|
|
When she had resolved to go down, she prepared herself by some
|
|
little acts which might seem mere folly to a hard onlooker;
|
|
they were her way of expressing to all spectators visible or invisible
|
|
that she had begun a new life in which she embraced humiliation.
|
|
She took off all her ornaments and put on a plain black gown,
|
|
and instead of wearing her much-adorned cap and large bows of hair,
|
|
she brushed her hair down and put on a plain bonnet-cap, which made
|
|
her look suddenly like an early Methodist.
|
|
|
|
Bulstrode, who knew that his wife had been out and had come in
|
|
saying that she was not well, had spent the time in an agitation
|
|
equal to hers. He had looked forward to her learning the truth
|
|
from others, and had acquiesced in that probability, as something
|
|
easier to him than any confession. But now that he imagined the
|
|
moment of her knowledge come, he awaited the result in anguish.
|
|
His daughters had been obliged to consent to leave him, and though he
|
|
had allowed some food to be brought to him, he had not touched it.
|
|
He felt himself perishing slowly in unpitied misery. Perhaps he
|
|
should never see his wife's face with affection in it again.
|
|
And if he turned to God there seemed to be no answer but the pressure
|
|
of retribution.
|
|
|
|
It was eight o'clock in the evening before the door opened and his
|
|
wife entered. He dared not look up at her. He sat with his eyes
|
|
bent down, and as she went towards him she thought he looked smaller--
|
|
he seemed so withered and shrunken. A movement of new compassion
|
|
and old tenderness went through her like a great wave, and putting
|
|
one hand on his which rested on the arm of the chair, and the other
|
|
on his shoulder, she said, solemnly but kindly--
|
|
|
|
"Look up, Nicholas."
|
|
|
|
He raised his eyes with a little start and looked at her half
|
|
amazed for a moment: her pale face, her changed, mourning dress,
|
|
the trembling about her mouth, all said, "I know;" and her hands
|
|
and eyes rested gently on him. He burst out crying and they
|
|
cried together, she sitting at his side. They could not yet speak
|
|
to each other of the shame which she was bearing with him, or of the
|
|
acts which had brought it down on them. His confession was silent,
|
|
and her promise of faithfulness was silent. Open-minded as she was,
|
|
she nevertheless shrank from the words which would have expressed their
|
|
mutual consciousness, as she would have shrunk from flakes of fire.
|
|
She could not say, "How much is only slander and false suspicion?"
|
|
and he did not say, "I am innocent."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXXV.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Le sentiment de la faussete' des plaisirs presents, et l'ignorance
|
|
de la vanite des plaisirs absents, causent l'inconstance."--PASCAL.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rosamond had a gleam of returning cheerfulness when the house was freed
|
|
from the threatening figure, and when all the disagreeable creditors
|
|
were paid. But she was not joyous: her married life had fulfilled
|
|
none of her hopes, and had been quite spoiled for her imagination.
|
|
In this brief interval of calm, Lydgate, remembering that he had
|
|
often been stormy in his hours of perturbation, and mindful of the
|
|
pain Rosamond had had to bear, was carefully gentle towards her;
|
|
but he, too, had lost some of his old spirit, and he still felt it
|
|
necessary to refer to an economical change in their way of living
|
|
as a matter of course, trying to reconcile her to it gradually,
|
|
and repressing his anger when she answered by wishing that he
|
|
would go to live in London. When she did not make this answer,
|
|
she listened languidly, and wondered what she had that was worth
|
|
living for. The hard and contemptuous words which had fallen from
|
|
her husband in his anger had deeply offended that vanity which he
|
|
had at first called into active enjoyment; and what she regarded
|
|
as his perverse way of looking at things, kept up a secret repulsion,
|
|
which made her receive all his tenderness as a poor substitute
|
|
for the happiness he had failed to give her. They were at a
|
|
disadvantage with their neighbors, and there was no longer any
|
|
outlook towards Quallingham--there was no outlook anywhere except
|
|
in an occasional letter from Will Ladislaw. She had felt stung and
|
|
disappointed by Will's resolution to quit Middlemarch, for in spite
|
|
of what she knew and guessed about his admiration for Dorothea,
|
|
she secretly cherished the belief that he had, or would necessarily
|
|
come to have, much more admiration for herself; Rosamond being one
|
|
of those women who live much in the idea that each man they meet
|
|
would have preferred them if the preference had not been hopeless.
|
|
Mrs. Casaubon was all very well; but Will's interest in her dated before
|
|
he knew Mrs. Lydgate. Rosamond took his way of talking to herself,
|
|
which was a mixture of playful fault-finding and hyperbolical gallantry,
|
|
as the disguise of a deeper feeling; and in his presence she felt
|
|
that agreeable titillation of vanity and sense of romantic drama
|
|
which Lydgate's presence had no longer the magic to create.
|
|
She even fancied--what will not men and women fancy in these matters?--
|
|
that Will exaggerated his admiration for Mrs. Casaubon in order
|
|
to pique herself. In this way poor Rosamond's brain had been
|
|
busy before Will's departure. He would have made, she thought,
|
|
a much more suitable husband for her than she had found in Lydgate.
|
|
No notion could have been falser than this, for Rosamond's discontent
|
|
in her marriage was due to the conditions of marriage itself,
|
|
to its demand for self-suppression and tolerance, and not to the
|
|
nature of her husband; but the easy conception of an unreal Better
|
|
had a sentimental charm which diverted her ennui. She constructed
|
|
a little romance which was to vary the flatness of her life:
|
|
Will Ladislaw was always to be a bachelor and live near her,
|
|
always to be at her command, and have an understood though never
|
|
fully expressed passion for her, which would be sending out lambent
|
|
flames every now and then in interesting scenes. His departure
|
|
had been a proportionate disappointment, and had sadly increased
|
|
her weariness of Middlemarch; but at first she had the alternative
|
|
dream of pleasures in store from her intercourse with the family
|
|
at Quallingham. Since then the troubles of her married life
|
|
had deepened, and the absence of other relief encouraged her regretful
|
|
rumination over that thin romance which she had once fed on.
|
|
Men and women make sad mistakes about their own symptoms, taking their
|
|
vague uneasy longings, sometimes for genius, sometimes for religion,
|
|
and oftener still for a mighty love. Will Ladislaw had written
|
|
chatty letters, half to her and half to Lydgate, and she had replied:
|
|
their separation, she felt, was not likely to be final, and the change
|
|
she now most longed for was that Lydgate should go to live in London;
|
|
everything would be agreeable in London; and she had set to work
|
|
with quiet determination to win this result, when there came a sudden,
|
|
delightful promise which inspirited her.
|
|
|
|
It came shortly before the memorable meeting at the town-hall,
|
|
and was nothing less than a letter from Will Ladislaw to Lydgate,
|
|
which turned indeed chiefly on his new interest in plans of colonization,
|
|
but mentioned incidentally, that he might find it necessary to pay
|
|
a visit to Middlemarch within the next few weeks--a very pleasant
|
|
necessity, he said, almost as good as holidays to a schoolboy.
|
|
He hoped there was his old place on the rug, and a great deal of
|
|
music in store for him. But he was quite uncertain as to the time.
|
|
While Lydgate was reading the letter to Rosamond, her face looked
|
|
like a reviving flower--it grew prettier and more blooming.
|
|
There was nothing unendurable now: the debts were paid, Mr. Ladislaw
|
|
was coming, and Lydgate would be persuaded to leave Middlemarch
|
|
and settle in London, which was "so different from a provincial town."
|
|
|
|
That was a bright bit of morning. But soon the sky became black
|
|
over poor Rosamond. The presence of a new gloom in her husband,
|
|
about which he was entirely reserved towards her--for he dreaded
|
|
to expose his lacerated feeling to her neutrality and misconception--
|
|
soon received a painfully strange explanation, alien to all her
|
|
previous notions of what could affect her happiness. In the new
|
|
gayety of her spirits, thinking that Lydgate had merely a worse fit
|
|
of moodiness than usual, causing him to leave her remarks unanswered,
|
|
and evidently to keep out of her way as much as possible, she chose,
|
|
a few days after the meeting, and without speaking to him on
|
|
the subject, to send out notes of invitation for a small evening party,
|
|
feeling convinced that this was a judicious step, since people seemed
|
|
to have been keeping aloof from them, and wanted restoring to the
|
|
old habit of intercourse. When the invitations had been accepted,
|
|
she would tell Lydgate, and give him a wise admonition as to how
|
|
a medical man should behave to his neighbors; for Rosamond had
|
|
the gravest little airs possible about other people's duties.
|
|
But all the invitations were declined, and the last answer came
|
|
into Lydgate's hands.
|
|
|
|
"This is Chichely's scratch. What is he writing to you about?"
|
|
said Lydgate, wonderingly, as he handed the note to her.
|
|
She was obliged to let him see it, and, looking at her severely,
|
|
he said--
|
|
|
|
"Why on earth have you been sending out invitations without
|
|
telling me, Rosamond? I beg, I insist that you will not invite
|
|
any one to this house. I suppose you have been inviting others,
|
|
and they have refused too." She said nothing.
|
|
|
|
"Do you hear me?" thundered Lydgate.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, certainly I hear you," said Rosamond, turning her head aside
|
|
with the movement of a graceful long-necked bird.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate tossed his head without any grace and walked out of the room,
|
|
feeling himself dangerous. Rosamond's thought was, that he
|
|
was getting more and more unbearable--not that there was any new
|
|
special reason for this peremptoriness His indisposition to tell
|
|
her anything in which he was sure beforehand that she would not be
|
|
interested was growing into an unreflecting habit, and she was in
|
|
ignorance of everything connected with the thousand pounds except
|
|
that the loan had come from her uncle Bulstrode. Lydgate's odious
|
|
humors and their neighbors' apparent avoidance of them had an
|
|
unaccountable date for her in their relief from money difficulties.
|
|
If the invitations had been accepted she would have gone to invite
|
|
her mamma and the rest, whom she had seen nothing of for several days;
|
|
and she now put on her bonnet to go and inquire what had become
|
|
of them all, suddenly feeling as if there were a conspiracy to leave
|
|
her in isolation with a husband disposed to offend everybody.
|
|
It was after the dinner hour, and she found her father and mother
|
|
seated together alone in the drawing-room. They greeted her with
|
|
sad looks, saying "Well, my dear!" and no more. She had never seen
|
|
her father look so downcast; and seating herself near him she said--
|
|
|
|
"Is there anything the matter, papa?"
|
|
|
|
He did not answer, but Mrs. Vincy said, "Oh, my dear, have you
|
|
heard nothing? It won't be long before it reaches you."
|
|
|
|
"Is it anything about Tertius?" said Rosamond, turning pale.
|
|
The idea of trouble immediately connected itself with what had been
|
|
unaccountable to her in him.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, my dear, yes. To think of your marrying into this trouble.
|
|
Debt was bad enough, but this will be worse."
|
|
|
|
"Stay, stay, Lucy," said Mr. Vincy. "Have you heard nothing about
|
|
your uncle Bulstrode, Rosamond?"
|
|
|
|
"No, papa," said the poor thing, feeling as if trouble were not
|
|
anything she had before experienced, but some invisible power
|
|
with an iron grasp that made her soul faint within her.
|
|
|
|
Her father told her everything, saying at the end, "It's better
|
|
for you to know, my dear. I think Lydgate must leave the town.
|
|
Things have gone against him. I dare say he couldn't help it.
|
|
I don't accuse him of any harm," said Mr. Vincy. He had always before
|
|
been disposed to find the utmost fault with Lydgate.
|
|
|
|
The shock to Rosamond was terrible. It seemed to her that no lot
|
|
could be so cruelly hard as hers to have married a man who had
|
|
become the centre of infamous suspicions. In many cases it is
|
|
inevitable that the shame is felt to be the worst part of crime;
|
|
and it would have required a great deal of disentangling reflection,
|
|
such as had never entered into Rosamond's life, for her in these
|
|
moments to feel that her trouble was less than if her husband
|
|
had been certainly known to have done something criminal.
|
|
All the shame seemed to be there. And she had innocently married
|
|
this man with the belief that he and his family were a glory to her!
|
|
She showed her usual reticence to her parents, and only said,
|
|
that if Lydgate had done as she wished he would have left Middlemarch
|
|
long ago.
|
|
|
|
"She bears it beyond anything," said her mother when she was gone.
|
|
|
|
"Ah, thank God!" said Mr. Vincy, who was much broken down.
|
|
|
|
But Rosamond went home with a sense of justified repugnance towards
|
|
her husband. What had he really done--how had he really acted?
|
|
She did not know. Why had he not told her everything? He did not
|
|
speak to her on the subject, and of course she could not speak to him.
|
|
It came into her mind once that she would ask her father to let
|
|
her go home again; but dwelling on that prospect made it seem utter
|
|
dreariness to her: a married woman gone back to live with her parents--
|
|
life seemed to have no meaning for her in such a position:
|
|
she could not contemplate herself in it.
|
|
|
|
The next two days Lydgate observed a change in her, and believed that she
|
|
had heard the bad news. Would she speak to him about it, or would she
|
|
go on forever in the silence which seemed to imply that she believed
|
|
him guilty? We must remember that he was in a morbid state of mind,
|
|
in which almost all contact was pain. Certainly Rosamond in this
|
|
case had equal reason to complain of reserve and want of confidence
|
|
on his part; but in the bitterness of his soul he excused himself;--
|
|
was he not justified in shrinking from the task of telling her,
|
|
since now she knew the truth she had no impulse to speak to him?
|
|
But a deeper-lying consciousness that he was in fault made
|
|
him restless, and the silence between them became intolerable to him;
|
|
it was as if they were both adrift on one piece of wreck and looked
|
|
away from each other.
|
|
|
|
He thought, "I am a fool. Haven't I given up expecting anything?
|
|
I have married care, not help." And that evening he said--
|
|
|
|
"Rosamond, have you heard anything that distresses you?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes," she answered, laying down her work, which she had been carrying
|
|
on with a languid semi-consciousness, most unlike her usual self.
|
|
|
|
"What have you heard?"
|
|
|
|
"Everything, I suppose. Papa told me."
|
|
|
|
"That people think me disgraced?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Rosamond, faintly, beginning to sew again automatically.
|
|
|
|
There was silence. Lydgate thought, "If she has any trust in me--
|
|
any notion of what I am, she ought to speak now and say that she does
|
|
not believe I have deserved disgrace."
|
|
|
|
But Rosamond on her side went on moving her fingers languidly.
|
|
Whatever was to be said on the subject she expected to come from Tertius.
|
|
What did she know? And if he were innocent of any wrong, why did
|
|
he not do something to clear himself?
|
|
|
|
This silence of hers brought a new rush of gall to that bitter mood
|
|
in which Lydgate had been saying to himself that nobody believed
|
|
in him--even Farebrother had not come forward. He had begun to
|
|
question her with the intent that their conversation should disperse
|
|
the chill fog which had gathered between them, but he felt his
|
|
resolution checked by despairing resentment. Even this trouble,
|
|
like the rest, she seemed to regard as if it were hers alone.
|
|
He was always to her a being apart, doing what she objected to.
|
|
He started from his chair with an angry impulse, and thrusting his hands
|
|
in his pockets, walked up and down the room. There was an underlying
|
|
consciousness all the while that he should have to master this anger,
|
|
and tell her everything, and convince her of the facts. For he had
|
|
almost learned the lesson that he must bend himself to her nature,
|
|
and that because she came short in her sympathy, he must give the more.
|
|
Soon he recurred to his intention of opening himself: the occasion
|
|
must not be lost. If he could bring her to feel with some solemnity
|
|
that here was a slander which must be met and not run away from,
|
|
and that the whole trouble had come out of his desperate want of money,
|
|
it would be a moment for urging powerfully on her that they should be
|
|
one in the resolve to do with as little money as possible, so that
|
|
they might weather the bad time and keep themselves independent.
|
|
He would mention the definite measures which he desired to take,
|
|
and win her to a willing spirit. He was bound to try this--and what
|
|
else was there for him to do?
|
|
|
|
He did not know how long he had been walking uneasily backwards
|
|
and forwards, but Rosamond felt that it was long, and wished that he
|
|
would sit down. She too had begun to think this an opportunity for
|
|
urging on Tertius what he ought to do. Whatever might be the truth
|
|
about all this misery, there was one dread which asserted itself.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate at last seated himself, not in his usual chair,
|
|
but in one nearer to Rosamond, leaning aside in it towards her,
|
|
and looking at her gravely before he reopened the sad subject.
|
|
He had conquered himself so far, and was about to speak with a sense
|
|
of solemnity, as on an occasion which was not to be repeated.
|
|
He had even opened his lips, when Rosamond, letting her hands fall,
|
|
looked at him and said--
|
|
|
|
"Surely, Tertius--"
|
|
|
|
"Well?"
|
|
|
|
"Surely now at last you have given up the idea of staying in Middlemarch.
|
|
I cannot go on living here. Let us go to London. Papa, and every
|
|
one else, says you had better go. Whatever misery I have to put
|
|
up with, it will be easier away from here."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate felt miserably jarred. Instead of that critical outpouring
|
|
for which he had prepared himself with effort, here was the old
|
|
round to be gone through again. He could not bear it. With a quick
|
|
change of countenance he rose and went out of the room.
|
|
|
|
Perhaps if he had been strong enough to persist in his determination
|
|
to be the more because she was less, that evening might have had
|
|
a better issue. If his energy could have borne down that check,
|
|
he might still have wrought on Rosamond's vision and will.
|
|
We cannot be sure that any natures, however inflexible or peculiar,
|
|
will resist this effect from a more massive being than their own.
|
|
They may be taken by storm and for the moment converted, becoming part
|
|
of the soul which enwraps them in the ardor of its movement.
|
|
But poor Lydgate had a throbbing pain within him, and his energy
|
|
had fallen short of its task.
|
|
|
|
The beginning of mutual understanding and resolve seemed as far off
|
|
as ever; nay, it seemed blocked out by the sense of unsuccessful effort.
|
|
They lived on from day to day with their thoughts still apart,
|
|
Lydgate going about what work he had in a mood of despair,
|
|
and Rosamond feeling, with some justification, that he was
|
|
behaving cruelly. It was of no use to say anything to Tertius;
|
|
but when Will Ladislaw came, she was determined to tell him everything.
|
|
In spite of her general reticence, she needed some one who would
|
|
recognize her wrongs.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXXVI.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"To mercy, pity, peace, and love
|
|
All pray in their distress,
|
|
And to these virtues of delight,
|
|
Return their thankfulness.
|
|
. . . . . .
|
|
For Mercy has a human heart,
|
|
Pity a human face;
|
|
And Love, the human form divine;
|
|
And Peace, the human dress.
|
|
--WILLIAM BLAKE: Songs of Innocence.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Some days later, Lydgate was riding to Lowick Manor, in consequence
|
|
of a summons from Dorothea. The summons had not been unexpected,
|
|
since it had followed a letter from Mr. Bulstrode, in which he stated
|
|
that he had resumed his arrangements for quitting Middlemarch, and must
|
|
remind Lydgate of his previous communications about the Hospital,
|
|
to the purport of which he still adhered. It had been his duty,
|
|
before taking further steps, to reopen the subject with Mrs. Casaubon,
|
|
who now wished, as before, to discuss the question with Lydgate.
|
|
"Your views may possibly have undergone some change," wrote Mr. Bulstrode;
|
|
"but, in that case also, it is desirable that you should lay them
|
|
before her."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea awaited his arrival with eager interest. Though, in
|
|
deference to her masculine advisers, she had refrained from what
|
|
Sir James had called "interfering in this Bulstrode business,"
|
|
the hardship of Lydgate's position was continually in her mind,
|
|
and when Bulstrode applied to her again about the hospital,
|
|
she felt that the opportunity was come to her which she had been
|
|
hindered from hastening. In her luxurious home, wandering under
|
|
the boughs of her own great trees, her thought was going out over
|
|
the lot of others, and her emotions were imprisoned. The idea
|
|
of some active good within her reach, "haunted her like a passion,"
|
|
and another's need having once come to her as a distinct image,
|
|
preoccupied her desire with the yearning to give relief, and made
|
|
her own ease tasteless. She was full of confident hope about
|
|
this interview with Lydgate, never heeding what was said of his
|
|
personal reserve; never heeding that she was a very young woman.
|
|
Nothing could have seemed more irrelevant to Dorothea than insistence
|
|
on her youth and sex when she was moved to show her human fellowship.
|
|
|
|
As she sat waiting in the library, she could do nothing but live through
|
|
again all the past scenes which had brought Lydgate into her memories.
|
|
They all owed their significance to her marriage and its troubles--
|
|
but no; there were two occasions in which the image of Lydgate
|
|
had come painfully in connection with his wife and some one else.
|
|
The pain had been allayed for Dorothea, but it had left in her an
|
|
awakened conjecture as to what Lydgate's marriage might be to him,
|
|
a susceptibility to the slightest hint about Mrs. Lydgate.
|
|
These thoughts were like a drama to her, and made her eyes bright,
|
|
and gave an attitude of suspense to her whole frame, though she was
|
|
only looking out from the brown library on to the turf and the bright
|
|
green buds which stood in relief against the dark evergreens.
|
|
|
|
When Lydgate came in, she was almost shocked at the change in his face,
|
|
which was strikingly perceptible to her who had not seen him for
|
|
two months. It was not the change of emaciation, but that effect
|
|
which even young faces will very soon show from the persistent presence
|
|
of resentment and despondency. Her cordial look, when she put
|
|
out her hand to him, softened his expression, but only with melancholy.
|
|
|
|
"I have wished very much to see you for a long while, Mr. Lydgate,"
|
|
said Dorothea when they were seated opposite each other; "but I put
|
|
off asking you to come until Mr. Bulstrode applied to me again about
|
|
the Hospital. I know that the advantage of keeping the management
|
|
of it separate from that of the Infirmary depends on you, or, at least,
|
|
on the good which you are encouraged to hope for from having it
|
|
under your control. And I am sure you will not refuse to tell me
|
|
exactly what you think."
|
|
|
|
"You want to decide whether you should give a generous support
|
|
to the Hospital," said Lydgate. "I cannot conscientiously
|
|
advise you to do it in dependence on any activity of mine.
|
|
I may be obliged to leave the town."
|
|
|
|
He spoke curtly, feeling the ache of despair as to his being able
|
|
to carry out any purpose that Rosamond had set her mind against.
|
|
|
|
"Not because there is no one to believe in you?" said Dorothea,
|
|
pouring out her words in clearness from a full heart. "I know
|
|
the unhappy mistakes about you. I knew them from the first moment
|
|
to be mistakes. You have never done anything vile. You would not
|
|
do anything dishonorable."
|
|
|
|
It was the first assurance of belief in him that had fallen on
|
|
Lydgate's ears. He drew a deep breath, and said, "Thank you."
|
|
He could say no more: it was something very new and strange in his
|
|
life that these few words of trust from a woman should be so much
|
|
to him.
|
|
|
|
"I beseech you to tell me how everything was," said Dorothea,
|
|
fearlessly. "I am sure that the truth would clear you."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate started up from his chair and went towards the window,
|
|
forgetting where he was. He had so often gone over in his mind
|
|
the possibility of explaining everything without aggravating
|
|
appearances that would tell, perhaps unfairly, against Bulstrode,
|
|
and had so often decided against it--he had so often said to
|
|
himself that his assertions would not change people's impressions--
|
|
that Dorothea's words sounded like a temptation to do something
|
|
which in his soberness he had pronounced to be unreasonable.
|
|
|
|
"Tell me, pray," said Dorothea, with simple earnestness;
|
|
"then we can consult together. It is wicked to let people think
|
|
evil of any one falsely, when it can be hindered."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate turned, remembering where he was, and saw Dorothea's face
|
|
looking up at him with a sweet trustful gravity. The presence
|
|
of a noble nature, generous in its wishes, ardent in its charity,
|
|
changes the lights for us: we begin to see things again in their larger,
|
|
quieter masses, and to believe that we too can be seen and judged
|
|
in the wholeness of our character. That influence was beginning
|
|
to act on Lydgate, who had for many days been seeing all life as one
|
|
who is dragged and struggling amid the throng. He sat down again,
|
|
and felt that he was recovering his old self in the consciousness
|
|
that he was with one who believed in it.
|
|
|
|
"I don't want," he said, "to bear hard on Bulstrode, who has lent
|
|
me money of which I was in need--though I would rather have gone
|
|
without it now. He is hunted down and miserable, and has only a poor
|
|
thread of life in him. But I should like to tell you everything.
|
|
It will be a comfort to me to speak where belief has gone beforehand,
|
|
and where I shall not seem to be offering assertions of my own honesty.
|
|
You will feel what is fair to another, as you feel what is fair
|
|
to me."
|
|
|
|
"Do trust me," said Dorothea; "I will not repeat anything without
|
|
your leave. But at the very least, I could say that you have made
|
|
all the circumstances clear to me, and that I know you are not in
|
|
any way guilty. Mr. Farebrother would believe me, and my uncle,
|
|
and Sir James Chettam. Nay, there are persons in Middlemarch to
|
|
whom I could go; although they don't know much of me, they would
|
|
believe me. They would know that I could have no other motive
|
|
than truth and justice. I would take any pains to clear you.
|
|
I have very little to do. There is nothing better that I can do
|
|
in the world."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea's voice, as she made this childlike picture of what she
|
|
would do, might have been almost taken as a proof that she could
|
|
do it effectively. The searching tenderness of her woman's tones
|
|
seemed made for a defence against ready accusers. Lydgate did
|
|
not stay to think that she was Quixotic: he gave himself up,
|
|
for the first time in his life, to the exquisite sense of leaning
|
|
entirely on a generous sympathy, without any check of proud reserve.
|
|
And he told her everything, from the time when, under the pressure
|
|
of his difficulties, he unwillingly made his first application
|
|
to Bulstrode; gradually, in the relief of speaking, getting into
|
|
a more thorough utterance of what had gone on in his mind--
|
|
entering fully into the fact that his treatment of the patient
|
|
was opposed to the dominant practice, into his doubts at the last,
|
|
his ideal of medical duty, and his uneasy consciousness that the
|
|
acceptance of the money had made some difference in his private
|
|
inclination and professional behavior, though not in his fulfilment
|
|
of any publicly recognized obligation.
|
|
|
|
"It has come to my knowledge since," he added, "that Hawley sent
|
|
some one to examine the housekeeper at Stone Court, and she said
|
|
that she gave the patient all the opium in the phial I left,
|
|
as well as a good deal of brandy. But that would not have been
|
|
opposed to ordinary prescriptions, even of first-rate men.
|
|
The suspicions against me had no hold there: they are grounded
|
|
on the knowledge that I took money, that Bulstrode had strong
|
|
motives for wishing the man to die, and that he gave me the money
|
|
as a bribe to concur in some malpractices or other against
|
|
the patient--that in any case I accepted a bribe to hold my tongue.
|
|
They are just the suspicions that cling the most obstinately,
|
|
because they lie in people's inclination and can never be disproved.
|
|
How my orders came to be disobeyed is a question to which I don't
|
|
know the answer. It is still possible that Bulstrode was innocent
|
|
of any criminal intention--even possible that he had nothing to do
|
|
with the disobedience, and merely abstained from mentioning it.
|
|
But all that has nothing to do with the public belief. It is one of
|
|
those cases on which a man is condemned on the ground of his character--
|
|
it is believed that he has committed a crime in some undefined way,
|
|
because he had the motive for doing it; and Bulstrode's character
|
|
has enveloped me, because I took his money. I am simply blighted--
|
|
like a damaged ear of corn--the business is done and can't
|
|
be undone."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, it is hard!" said Dorothea. "I understand the difficulty there
|
|
is in your vindicating yourself. And that all this should have come
|
|
to you who had meant to lead a higher life than the common, and to find
|
|
out better ways--I cannot bear to rest in this as unchangeable.
|
|
I know you meant that. I remember what you said to me when you first
|
|
spoke to me about the hospital. There is no sorrow I have thought
|
|
more about than that--to love what is great, and try to reach it,
|
|
and yet to fail."
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Lydgate, feeling that here he had found room for the full
|
|
meaning of his grief. "I had some ambition. I meant everything to be
|
|
different with me. I thought I had more strength and mastery. But
|
|
the most terrible obstacles are such as nobody can see except oneself."
|
|
|
|
"Suppose," said Dorothea, meditatively,--"suppose we kept on the
|
|
Hospital according to the present plan, and you stayed here though
|
|
only with the friendship and support of a few, the evil feeling
|
|
towards you would gradually die out; there would come opportunities
|
|
in which people would be forced to acknowledge that they had been
|
|
unjust to you, because they would see that your purposes were pure.
|
|
You may still win a great fame like the Louis and Laennec I have
|
|
heard you speak of, and we shall all be proud of you," she ended,
|
|
with a smile.
|
|
|
|
"That might do if I had my old trust in myself," said Lydgate,
|
|
mournfully. "Nothing galls me more than the notion of turning round
|
|
and running away before this slander, leaving it unchecked behind me.
|
|
Still, I can't ask any one to put a great deal of money into a plan
|
|
which depends on me."
|
|
|
|
"It would be quite worth my while," said Dorothea, simply. "Only think.
|
|
I am very uncomfortable with my money, because they tell me I have too
|
|
little for any great scheme of the sort I like best, and yet I have
|
|
too much. I don't know what to do. I have seven hundred a-year of my
|
|
own fortune, and nineteen hundred a-year that Mr. Casaubon left me,
|
|
and between three and four thousand of ready money in the bank.
|
|
I wished to raise money and pay it off gradually out of my income
|
|
which I don't want, to buy land with and found a village which should
|
|
be a school of industry; but Sir James and my uncle have convinced
|
|
me that the risk would be too great. So you see that what I should
|
|
most rejoice at would be to have something good to do with my money:
|
|
I should like it to make other people's lives better to them.
|
|
It makes me very uneasy--coming all to me who don't want it."
|
|
|
|
A smile broke through the gloom of Lydgate's face. The childlike
|
|
grave-eyed earnestness with which Dorothea said all this
|
|
was irresistible--blent into an adorable whale with her ready
|
|
understanding of high experience. (Of lower experience such as
|
|
plays a great part in the world, poor Mrs. Casaubon had a very
|
|
blurred shortsighted knowledge, little helped by her imagination.)
|
|
But she took the smile as encouragement of her plan.
|
|
|
|
"I think you see now that you spoke too scrupulously," she said,
|
|
in a tone of persuasion. "The hospital would be one good; and making
|
|
your life quite whole and well again would be another."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate's smile had died away. "You have the goodness as well
|
|
as the money to do all that; if it could be done," he said.
|
|
"But--"
|
|
|
|
He hesitated a little while, looking vaguely towards the window;
|
|
and she sat in silent expectation. At last he turned towards her and
|
|
said impetuously--
|
|
|
|
"Why should I not tell you?--you know what sort of bond marriage is.
|
|
You will understand everything."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea felt her heart beginning to beat faster. Had he that
|
|
sorrow too? But she feared to say any word, and he went on immediately.
|
|
|
|
"It is impossible for me now to do anything--to take any step
|
|
without considering my wife's happiness. The thing that I might
|
|
like to do if I were alone, is become impossible to me. I can't see
|
|
her miserable. She married me without knowing what she was going into,
|
|
and it might have been better for her if she had not married me."
|
|
|
|
"I know, I know--you could not give her pain, if you were not obliged
|
|
to do it," said Dorothea, with keen memory of her own life.
|
|
|
|
"And she has set her mind against staying. She wishes to go.
|
|
The troubles she has had here have wearied her," said Lydgate,
|
|
breaking off again, lest he should say too much.
|
|
|
|
"But when she saw the good that might come of staying--"said
|
|
Dorothea, remonstrantly, looking at Lydgate as if he had forgotten
|
|
the reasons which had just been considered. He did not speak immediately.
|
|
|
|
"She would not see it," he said at last, curtly, feeling at first
|
|
that this statement must do without explanation. "And, indeed,
|
|
I have lost all spirit about carrying on my life here." He paused
|
|
a moment and then, following the impulse to let Dorothea see deeper
|
|
into the difficulty of his life, he said, "The fact is, this trouble
|
|
has come upon her confusedly. We have not been able to speak to
|
|
each other about it. I am not sure what is in her mind about it:
|
|
she may fear that I have really done something base. It is my fault;
|
|
I ought to be more open. But I have been suffering cruelly."
|
|
|
|
"May I go and see her?" said Dorothea, eagerly. "Would she accept
|
|
my sympathy? I would tell her that you have not been blamable
|
|
before any one's judgment but your own. I would tell her that you
|
|
shall be cleared in every fair mind. I would cheer her heart.
|
|
Will you ask her if I may go to see her? I did see her once."
|
|
|
|
"I am sure you may," said Lydgate, seizing the proposition with
|
|
some hope. "She would feel honored--cheered, I think, by the proof
|
|
that you at least have some respect for me. I will not speak to her
|
|
about your coming--that she may not connect it with my wishes at all.
|
|
I know very well that I ought not to have left anything to be told
|
|
her by others, but--"
|
|
|
|
He broke off, and there was a moment's silence. Dorothea refrained
|
|
from saying what was in her mind--how well she knew that there
|
|
might be invisible barriers to speech between husband and wife.
|
|
This was a point on which even sympathy might make a wound.
|
|
She returned to the more outward aspect of Lydgate's position,
|
|
saying cheerfully--
|
|
|
|
"And if Mrs. Lydgate knew that there were friends who would believe
|
|
in you and support you, she might then be glad that you should stay
|
|
in your place and recover your hopes--and do what you meant to do.
|
|
Perhaps then you would see that it was right to agree with what I
|
|
proposed about your continuing at the Hospital. Surely you would,
|
|
if you still have faith in it as a means of making your knowledge useful?"
|
|
|
|
Lydgate did not answer, and she saw that he was debating with himself.
|
|
|
|
"You need not decide immediately," she said, gently. "A few days hence
|
|
it will be early enough for me to send my answer to Mr. Bulstrode."
|
|
|
|
Lydgate still waited, but at last turned to speak in his most
|
|
decisive tones.
|
|
|
|
"No; I prefer that there should be no interval left for wavering.
|
|
I am no longer sure enough of myself--I mean of what it would be
|
|
possible for me to do under the changed circumstances of my life.
|
|
It would be dishonorable to let others engage themselves to anything
|
|
serious in dependence on me. I might be obliged to go away after all;
|
|
I see little chance of anything else. The whole thing is too problematic;
|
|
I cannot consent to be the cause of your goodness being wasted.
|
|
No--let the new Hospital be joined with the old Infirmary,
|
|
and everything go on as it might have done if I had never come.
|
|
I have kept a valuable register since I have been there; I shall
|
|
send it to a man who will make use of it," he ended bitterly.
|
|
"I can think of nothing for a long while but getting an income."
|
|
|
|
"It hurts me very much to hear you speak so hopelessly," said Dorothea.
|
|
"It would be a happiness to your friends, who believe in your future,
|
|
in your power to do great things, if you would let them save you
|
|
from that. Think how much money I have; it would be like taking
|
|
a burthen from me if you took some of it every year till you got
|
|
free from this fettering want of income. Why should not people
|
|
do these things? It is so difficult to make shares at all even.
|
|
This is one way."
|
|
|
|
"God bless you, Mrs. Casaubon!" said Lydgate, rising as if with the
|
|
same impulse that made his words energetic, and resting his arm
|
|
on the back of the great leather chair he had been sitting in.
|
|
"It is good that you should have such feelings. But I am not the man
|
|
who ought to allow himself to benefit by them. I have not given
|
|
guarantees enough. I must not at least sink into the degradation
|
|
of being pensioned for work that I never achieved. It is very clear
|
|
to me that I must not count on anything else than getting away
|
|
from Middlemarch as soon as I can manage it. I should not be able
|
|
for a long while, at the very best, to get an income here, and--
|
|
and it is easier to make necessary changes in a new place.
|
|
I must do as other men do, and think what will please the world
|
|
and bring in money; look for a little opening in the London crowd,
|
|
and push myself; set up in a watering-place, or go to some southern
|
|
town where there are plenty of idle English, and get myself puffed,--
|
|
that is the sort of shell I must creep into and try to keep my soul
|
|
alive in."
|
|
|
|
"Now that is not brave," said Dorothea,--"to give up the fight."
|
|
|
|
"No, it is not brave," said Lydgate, "but if a man is afraid
|
|
of creeping paralysis?" Then, in another tone, "Yet you have made
|
|
a great difference in my courage by believing in me. Everything seems
|
|
more bearable since I have talked to you; and if you can clear
|
|
me in a few other minds, especially in Farebrother's, I shall be
|
|
deeply grateful. The point I wish you not to mention is the fact
|
|
of disobedience to my orders. That would soon get distorted.
|
|
After all, there is no evidence for me but people's opinion
|
|
of me beforehand. You can only repeat my own report of myself."
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Farebrother will believe--others will believe," said Dorothea.
|
|
"I can say of you what will make it stupidity to suppose that you
|
|
would be bribed to do a wickedness."
|
|
|
|
"I don't know," said Lydgate, with something like a groan
|
|
in his voice. "I have not taken a bribe yet. But there is
|
|
a pale shade of bribery which is sometimes called prosperity.
|
|
You will do me another great kindness, then, and come to see my wife?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I will. I remember how pretty she is," said Dorothea,
|
|
into whose mind every impression about Rosamond had cut deep.
|
|
"I hope she will like me."
|
|
|
|
As Lydgate rode away, he thought, "This young creature has a heart
|
|
large enough for the Virgin Mary. She evidently thinks nothing
|
|
of her own future, and would pledge away half her income at once,
|
|
as if she wanted nothing for herself but a chair to sit in from which
|
|
she can look down with those clear eyes at the poor mortals who pray
|
|
to her. She seems to have what I never saw in any woman before--
|
|
a fountain of friendship towards men--a man can make a friend of her.
|
|
Casaubon must have raised some heroic hallucination in her.
|
|
I wonder if she could have any other sort of passion for a man?
|
|
Ladislaw?--there was certainly an unusual feeling between them.
|
|
And Casaubon must have had a notion of it. Well--her love might help
|
|
a man more than her money."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea on her side had immediately formed a plan of relieving
|
|
Lydgate from his obligation to Bulstrode, which she felt sure
|
|
was a part, though small, of the galling pressure he had to bear.
|
|
She sat down at once under the inspiration of their interview,
|
|
and wrote a brief note, in which she pleaded that she had more claim
|
|
than Mr. Bulstrode had to the satisfaction of providing the money which
|
|
had been serviceable to Lydgate--that it would be unkind in Lydgate
|
|
not to grant her the position of being his helper in this small matter,
|
|
the favor being entirely to her who had so little that was plainly
|
|
marked out for her to do with her superfluous money. He might call
|
|
her a creditor or by any other name if it did but imply that he
|
|
granted her request. She enclosed a check for a thousand pounds,
|
|
and determined to take the letter with her the next day when she
|
|
went to see Rosamond.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXXVII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"And thus thy fall hath left a kind of blot,
|
|
To mark the full-fraught man and best indued
|
|
With some suspicion."
|
|
--Henry V.
|
|
|
|
|
|
The next day Lydgate had to go to Brassing, and told Rosamond
|
|
that he should be away until the evening. Of late she had
|
|
never gone beyond her own house and garden, except to church,
|
|
and once to see her papa, to whom she said, "If Tertius goes away,
|
|
you will help us to move, will you not, papa? I suppose we shall
|
|
have very little money. I am sure I hope some one will help us."
|
|
And Mr. Vincy had said, "Yes, child, I don't mind a hundred or two.
|
|
I can see the end of that." With these exceptions she had sat
|
|
at home in languid melancholy and suspense, fixing her mind on
|
|
Will Ladislaw's coming as the one point of hope and interest,
|
|
and associating this with some new urgency on Lydgate to make immediate
|
|
arrangements for leaving Middlemarch and going to London, till she
|
|
felt assured that the coming would be a potent cause of the going,
|
|
without at all seeing how. This way of establishing sequences is
|
|
too common to be fairly regarded as a peculiar folly in Rosamond.
|
|
And it is precisely this sort of sequence which causes the greatest
|
|
shock when it is sundered: for to see how an effect may be produced
|
|
is often to see possible missings and checks; but to see nothing
|
|
except the desirable cause, and close upon it the desirable effect,
|
|
rids us of doubt and makes our minds strongly intuitive. That was
|
|
the process going on in poor Rosamond, while she arranged all objects
|
|
around her with the same nicety as ever, only with more slowness--
|
|
or sat down to the piano, meaning to play, and then desisting,
|
|
yet lingering on the music stool with her white fingers suspended
|
|
on the wooden front, and looking before her in dreamy ennui.
|
|
Her melancholy had become so marked that Lydgate felt a strange
|
|
timidity before it, as a perpetual silent reproach, and the strong man,
|
|
mastered by his keen sensibilities towards this fair fragile creature
|
|
whose life he seemed somehow to have bruised, shrank from her look,
|
|
and sometimes started at her approach, fear of her and fear for her
|
|
rushing in only the more forcibly after it had been momentarily expelled
|
|
by exasperation.
|
|
|
|
But this morning Rosamond descended from her room upstairs--
|
|
where she sometimes sat the whole day when Lydgate was out--
|
|
equipped for a walk in the town. She had a letter to post--a letter
|
|
addressed to Mr. Ladislaw and written with charming discretion,
|
|
but intended to hasten his arrival by a hint of trouble.
|
|
The servant-maid, their sole house-servant now, noticed her coming
|
|
down-stairs in her walking dress, and thought "there never did
|
|
anybody look so pretty in a bonnet poor thing."
|
|
|
|
Meanwhile Dorothea's mind was filled with her project of going
|
|
to Rosamond, and with the many thoughts, both of the past and the
|
|
probable future, which gathered round the idea of that visit.
|
|
Until yesterday when Lydgate had opened to her a glimpse
|
|
of some trouble in his married life, the image of Mrs. Lydgate
|
|
had always been associated for her with that of Will Ladislaw.
|
|
Even in her most uneasy moments--even when she had been agitated
|
|
by Mrs. Cadwallader's painfully graphic report of gossip--
|
|
her effort, nay, her strongest impulsive prompting, had been towards
|
|
the vindication of Will from any sullying surmises; and when,
|
|
in her meeting with him afterwards, she had at first interpreted
|
|
his words as a probable allusion to a feeling towards Mrs. Lydgate
|
|
which he was determined to cut himself off from indulging, she had
|
|
had a quick, sad, excusing vision of the charm there might be in his
|
|
constant opportunities of companionship with that fair creature,
|
|
who most likely shared his other tastes as she evidently did
|
|
his delight in music. But there had followed his parting words--
|
|
the few passionate words in which he had implied that she herself
|
|
was the object of whom his love held him in dread, that it was his
|
|
love for her only which he was resolved not to declare but to carry
|
|
away into banishment. From the time of that parting, Dorothea,
|
|
believing in Will's love for her, believing with a proud delight in
|
|
his delicate sense of honor and his determination that no one should
|
|
impeach him justly, felt her heart quite at rest as to the regard he
|
|
might have for Mrs. Lydgate. She was sure that the regard was blameless.
|
|
|
|
There are natures in which, if they love us, we are conscious
|
|
of having a sort of baptism and consecration: they bind us
|
|
over to rectitude and purity by their pure belief about us;
|
|
and our sins become that worst kind of sacrilege which tears down
|
|
the invisible altar of trust. "If you are not good, none is good"--
|
|
those little words may give a terrific meaning to responsibility,
|
|
may hold a vitriolic intensity for remorse.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea's nature was of that kind: her own passionate faults lay
|
|
along the easily counted open channels of her ardent character;
|
|
and while she was full of pity for the, visible mistakes of others,
|
|
she had not yet any material within her experience for subtle
|
|
constructions and suspicions of hidden wrong. But that simplicity
|
|
of hers, holding up an ideal for others in her believing conception
|
|
of them, was one of the great powers of her womanhood. And it
|
|
had from the first acted strongly on Will Ladislaw. He felt,
|
|
when he parted from her, that the brief words by which he had tried
|
|
to convey to her his feeling about herself and the division which
|
|
her fortune made between them, would only profit by their brevity
|
|
when Dorothea had to interpret them: he felt that in her mind he
|
|
had found his highest estimate.
|
|
|
|
And he was right there. In the months since their parting Dorothea
|
|
had felt a delicious though sad repose in their relation to each other,
|
|
as one which was inwardly whole and without blemish. She had an
|
|
active force of antagonism within her, when the antagonism turned
|
|
on the defence either of plans or persons that she believed in;
|
|
and the wrongs which she felt that Will had received from her husband,
|
|
and the external conditions which to others were grounds for
|
|
slighting him, only gave the more tenacity to her affection
|
|
and admiring judgment. And now with the disclosures about
|
|
Bulstrode had come another fact affecting Will's social position,
|
|
which roused afresh Dorothea's inward resistance to what was
|
|
said about him in that part of her world which lay within park palings.
|
|
|
|
"Young Ladislaw the grandson of a thieving Jew pawnbroker"
|
|
was a phrase which had entered emphatically into the dialogues
|
|
about the Bulstrode business, at Lowick, Tipton, and Freshitt,
|
|
and was a worse kind of placard on poor Will's back than the "Italian
|
|
with white mice." Upright Sir James Chettam was convinced that his
|
|
own satisfaction was righteous when he thought with some complacency
|
|
that here was an added league to that mountainous distance between
|
|
Ladislaw and Dorothea, which enabled him to dismiss any anxiety
|
|
in that direction as too absurd. And perhaps there had been
|
|
some pleasure in pointing Mr. Brooke's attention to this ugly bit
|
|
of Ladislaw's genealogy, as a fresh candle for him to see his own
|
|
folly by. Dorothea had observed the animus with which Will's part
|
|
in the painful story had been recalled more than once; but she had
|
|
uttered no word, being checked now, as she had not been formerly
|
|
in speaking of Will, by the consciousness of a deeper relation
|
|
between them which must always remain in consecrated secrecy.
|
|
But her silence shrouded her resistant emotion into a more
|
|
thorough glow; and this misfortune in Will's lot which, it seemed,
|
|
others were wishing to fling at his back as an opprobrium,
|
|
only gave something more of enthusiasm to her clinging thought.
|
|
|
|
She entertained no visions of their ever coming into nearer union,
|
|
and yet she had taken no posture of renunciation. She had accepted
|
|
her whole relation to Will very simply as part of her marriage sorrows,
|
|
and would have thought it very sinful in her to keep up an inward
|
|
wail because she was not completely happy, being rather disposed
|
|
to dwell on the superfluities of her lot. She could bear that the
|
|
chief pleasures of her tenderness should lie in memory, and the idea
|
|
of marriage came to her solely as a repulsive proposition from
|
|
some suitor of whom she at present knew nothing, but whose merits,
|
|
as seen by her friends, would be a source of torment to her:--
|
|
"somebody who will manage your property for you, my dear,"
|
|
was Mr. Brooke's attractive suggestion of suitable characteristics.
|
|
"I should like to manage it myself, if I knew what to do with it,"
|
|
said Dorothea. No--she adhered to her declaration that she would
|
|
never be married again, and in the long valley of her life which
|
|
looked so flat and empty of waymarks, guidance would come as she
|
|
walked along the road, and saw her fellow-passengers by the way.
|
|
|
|
This habitual state of feeling about Will Ladislaw had been strong.
|
|
in all her waking hours since she had proposed to pay a visit
|
|
to Mrs. Lydgate, making a sort of background against which she
|
|
saw Rosamond's figure presented to her without hindrances to her
|
|
interest and compassion. There was evidently some mental separation,
|
|
some barrier to complete confidence which had arisen between this
|
|
wife and the husband who had yet made her happiness a law to him.
|
|
That was a trouble which no third person must directly touch.
|
|
But Dorothea thought with deep pity of the loneliness which must
|
|
have come upon Rosamond from the suspicions cast on her husband;
|
|
and there would surely be help in the manifestation of respect for
|
|
Lydgate and sympathy with her.
|
|
|
|
"I shall talk to her about her husband," thought Dorothea, as she
|
|
was being driven towards the town. The clear spring morning,
|
|
the scent of the moist earth, the fresh leaves just showing their
|
|
creased-up wealth of greenery from out their half-opened sheaths,
|
|
seemed part of the cheerfulness she was feeling from a long conversation
|
|
with Mr. Farebrother, who had joyfully accepted the justifying
|
|
explanation of Lydgate's conduct. "I shall take Mrs. Lydgate good news,
|
|
and perhaps she will like to talk to me and make a friend of me."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea had another errand in Lowick Gate: it was about a new
|
|
fine-toned bell for the school-house, and as she had to get out
|
|
of her carriage very near to Lydgate's, she walked thither across
|
|
the street, having told the coachman to wait for some packages.
|
|
The street door was open, and the servant was taking the opportunity
|
|
of looking out at the carriage which was pausing within sight
|
|
when it became apparent to her that the lady who "belonged to it"
|
|
was coming towards her.
|
|
|
|
"Is Mrs. Lydgate at home?" said Dorothea.
|
|
|
|
"I'm not sure, my lady; I'll see, if you'll please to walk in,"
|
|
said Martha, a little confused on the score of her kitchen apron,
|
|
but collected enough to be sure that "mum" was not the right title
|
|
for this queenly young widow with a carriage and pair. "Will you
|
|
please to walk in, and I'll go and see."
|
|
|
|
"Say that I am Mrs. Casaubon," said Dorothea, as Martha moved
|
|
forward intending to show her into the drawing-room and then to go
|
|
up-stairs to see if Rosamond had returned from her walk.
|
|
|
|
They crossed the broader part of the entrance-hall, and turned
|
|
up the passage which led to the garden. The drawing-room door
|
|
was unlatched, and Martha, pushing it without looking into the room,
|
|
waited for Mrs. Casaubon to enter and then turned away, the door
|
|
having swung open and swung back again without noise.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea had less of outward vision than usual this morning,
|
|
being filled with images of things as they had been and were going
|
|
to be. She found herself on the other side of the door without
|
|
seeing anything remarkable, but immediately she heard a voice
|
|
speaking in low tones which startled her as with a sense of dreaming
|
|
in daylight, and advancing unconsciously a step or two beyond the
|
|
projecting slab of a bookcase, she saw, in the terrible illumination
|
|
of a certainty which filled up all outlines, something which made
|
|
her pause, motionless, without self-possession enough to speak.
|
|
|
|
Seated with his back towards her on a sofa which stood against
|
|
the wall on a line with the door by which she had entered, she saw
|
|
Will Ladislaw: close by him and turned towards him with a flushed
|
|
tearfulness which gave a new brilliancy to her face sat Rosamond,
|
|
her bonnet hanging back, while Will leaning towards her clasped
|
|
both her upraised hands in his and spoke with low-toned fervor.
|
|
|
|
Rosamond in her agitated absorption had not noticed the silently
|
|
advancing figure; but when Dorothea, after the first immeasurable
|
|
instant of this vision, moved confusedly backward and found herself
|
|
impeded by some piece of furniture, Rosamond was suddenly aware
|
|
of her presence, and with a spasmodic movement snatched away her
|
|
hands and rose, looking at Dorothea who was necessarily arrested.
|
|
Will Ladislaw, starting up, looked round also, and meeting Dorothea's
|
|
eyes with a new lightning in them, seemed changing to marble:
|
|
But she immediately turned them away from him to Rosamond and said
|
|
in a firm voice--
|
|
|
|
"Excuse me, Mrs. Lydgate, the servant did not know that you were here.
|
|
I called to deliver an important letter for Mr. Lydgate, which I
|
|
wished to put into your own hands."
|
|
|
|
She laid down the letter on the small table which had checked
|
|
her retreat, and then including Rosamond and Will in one distant
|
|
glance and bow, she went quickly out of the room, meeting in the
|
|
passage the surprised Martha, who said she was sorry the mistress
|
|
was not at home, and then showed the strange lady out with an inward
|
|
reflection that grand people were probably more impatient than others.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea walked across the street with her most elastic step
|
|
and was quickly in her carriage again.
|
|
|
|
"Drive on to Freshitt Hall," she said to the coachman, and any one looking
|
|
at her might have thought that though she was paler than usual she was
|
|
never animated by a more self-possessed energy. And that was really
|
|
her experience. It was as if she had drunk a great draught of scorn
|
|
that stimulated her beyond the susceptibility to other feelings.
|
|
She had seen something so far below her belief, that her emotions
|
|
rushed back from it and made an excited throng without an object.
|
|
She needed something active to turn her excitement out upon.
|
|
She felt power to walk and work for a day, without meat or drink.
|
|
And she would carry out the purpose with which she had started
|
|
in the morning, of going to Freshitt and Tipton to tell Sir James
|
|
and her uncle all that she wished them to know about Lydgate,
|
|
whose married loneliness under his trial now presented itself to her
|
|
with new significance, and made her more ardent in readiness to be
|
|
his champion. She had never felt anything like this triumphant power
|
|
of indignation in the struggle of her married life, in which there
|
|
had always been a quickly subduing pang; and she took it as a sign
|
|
of new strength.
|
|
|
|
"Dodo, how very bright your eyes are!" said Celia, when Sir James
|
|
was gone out of the room. "And you don't see anything you look at,
|
|
Arthur or anything. You are going to do something uncomfortable,
|
|
I know. Is it all about Mr. Lydgate, or has something else happened?"
|
|
Celia had been used to watch her sister with expectation.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, dear, a great many things have happened," said Dodo,
|
|
in her full tones.
|
|
|
|
"I wonder what," said Celia, folding her arms cozily and leaning
|
|
forward upon them.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, all the troubles of all people on the face of the earth,"
|
|
said Dorothea, lifting her arms to the back of her head.
|
|
|
|
"Dear me, Dodo, are you going to have a scheme for them?" said Celia,
|
|
a little uneasy at this Hamlet-like raving.
|
|
|
|
But Sir James came in again, ready to accompany Dorothea to the Grange,
|
|
and she finished her expedition well, not swerving in her resolution
|
|
until she descended at her own door.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXXVIII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Would it were yesterday and I i' the grave,
|
|
With her sweet faith above for monument "
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rosamond and Will stood motionless--they did not know how long--
|
|
he looking towards the spot where Dorothea had stood, and she looking
|
|
towards him with doubt. It seemed an endless time to Rosamond,
|
|
in whose inmost soul there was hardly so much annoyance as
|
|
gratification from what had just happened. Shallow natures dream
|
|
of an easy sway over the emotions of others, trusting implicitly
|
|
in their own petty magic to turn the deepest streams, and confident,
|
|
by pretty gestures and remarks, of making the thing that is not
|
|
as though it were. She knew that Will had received a severe blow,
|
|
but she had been little used to imagining other people's states
|
|
of mind except as a material cut into shape by her own wishes;
|
|
and she believed in her own power to soothe or subdue. Even Tertius,
|
|
that most perverse of men, was always subdued in the long-run:
|
|
events had been obstinate, but still Rosamond would have said now,
|
|
as she did before her marriage, that she never gave up what she had set
|
|
her mind on.
|
|
|
|
She put out her arm and laid the tips of her fingers on Will's
|
|
coat-sleeve.
|
|
|
|
"Don't touch me!" he said, with an utterance like the cut of a lash,
|
|
darting from her, and changing from pink to white and back again,
|
|
as if his whole frame were tingling with the pain of the sting.
|
|
He wheeled round to the other side of the room and stood opposite to her,
|
|
with the tips of his fingers in his pockets and his head thrown back,
|
|
looking fiercely not at Rosamond but at a point a few inches away
|
|
from her.
|
|
|
|
She was keenly offended, but the Signs she made of this were such
|
|
as only Lydgate was used to interpret. She became suddenly quiet
|
|
and seated herself, untying her hanging bonnet and laying it down with
|
|
her shawl. Her little hands which she folded before her were very cold.
|
|
|
|
It would have been safer for Will in the first instance to have taken
|
|
up his hat and gone away; but he had felt no impulse to do this;
|
|
on the contrary, he had a horrible inclination to stay and shatter
|
|
Rosamond with his anger. It seemed as impossible to bear the fatality
|
|
she had drawn down on him without venting his fury as it would be
|
|
to a panther to bear the javelin-wound without springing and biting.
|
|
And yet--how could he tell a woman that he was ready to curse her?
|
|
He was fuming under a repressive law which he was forced to acknowledge:
|
|
he was dangerously poised, and Rosamond's voice now brought the
|
|
decisive vibration. In flute-like tones of sarcasm she said--
|
|
|
|
"You can easily go after Mrs. Casaubon and explain your preference."
|
|
|
|
"Go after her!" he burst out, with a sharp edge in his voice.
|
|
"Do you think she would turn to look at me, or value any word I ever
|
|
uttered to her again at more than a dirty feather?--Explain! How can
|
|
a man explain at the expense of a woman?"
|
|
|
|
"You can tell her what you please," said Rosamond with more tremor.
|
|
|
|
"Do you suppose she would like me better for sacrificing you?
|
|
She is not a woman to be flattered because I made myself despicable--
|
|
to believe that I must be true to her because I was a dastard
|
|
to you."
|
|
|
|
He began to move about with the restlessness of a wild animal
|
|
that sees prey but cannot reach it. Presently he burst out again--
|
|
|
|
"I had no hope before--not much--of anything better to come.
|
|
But I had one certainty--that she believed in me. Whatever people
|
|
had said or done about me, she believed in me.--That's gone!
|
|
She'll never again think me anything but a paltry pretence--
|
|
too nice to take heaven except upon flattering conditions, and yet
|
|
selling myself for any devil's change by the sly. She'll think
|
|
of me as an incarnate insult to her, from the first moment we--"
|
|
|
|
Will stopped as if he had found himself grasping something that must
|
|
not be thrown and shattered. He found another vent for his rage
|
|
by snatching up Rosamond's words again, as if they were reptiles
|
|
to be throttled and flung off.
|
|
|
|
"Explain! Tell a man to explain how he dropped into hell!
|
|
Explain my preference! I never had a PREFERENCE for her,
|
|
any more than I have a preference for breathing. No other woman exists
|
|
by the side of her. I would rather touch her hand if it were dead,
|
|
than I would touch any other woman's living."
|
|
|
|
Rosamond, while these poisoned weapons were being hurled at her,
|
|
was almost losing the sense of her identity, and seemed to be
|
|
waking into some new terrible existence. She had no sense
|
|
of chill resolute repulsion, of reticent self-justification
|
|
such as she had known under Lydgate's most stormy displeasure:
|
|
all her sensibility was turned into a bewildering novelty of pain;
|
|
she felt a new terrified recoil under a lash never experienced before.
|
|
What another nature felt in opposition to her own was being burnt
|
|
and bitten into her consciousness. When Will had ceased to speak
|
|
she had become an image of sickened misery: her lips were pale,
|
|
and her eyes had a tearless dismay in them. If it had been Tertius
|
|
who stood opposite to her, that look of misery would have been
|
|
a pang to him, and he would have sunk by her side to comfort her,
|
|
with that strong-armed comfort which, she had often held very cheap.
|
|
|
|
Let it be forgiven to Will that he had no such movement of pity.
|
|
He had felt no bond beforehand to this woman who had spoiled
|
|
the ideal treasure of his life, and he held himself blameless.
|
|
He knew that he was cruel, but he had no relenting in him yet.
|
|
|
|
After he had done speaking, he still moved about, half in absence
|
|
of mind, and Rosamond sat perfectly still. At length Will, seeming to
|
|
bethink himself, took up his hat, yet stood some moments irresolute.
|
|
He had spoken to her in a way that made a phrase of common politeness
|
|
difficult to utter; and yet, now that he had come to the point
|
|
of going away from her without further speech, he shrank from it
|
|
as a brutality; he felt checked and stultified in his anger.
|
|
He walked towards the mantel-piece and leaned his arm on it,
|
|
and waited in silence for--he hardly knew what. The vindictive fire
|
|
was still burning in him, and he could utter no word of retractation;
|
|
but it was nevertheless in his mind that having come back to this
|
|
hearth where he had enjoyed a caressing friendship he had found.
|
|
calamity seated there--he had had suddenly revealed to him a trouble
|
|
that lay outside the home as well as within it. And what seemed
|
|
a foreboding was pressing upon him as with slow pincers:--that his
|
|
life might come to be enslaved by this helpless woman who had thrown
|
|
herself upon him in the dreary sadness of her heart. But he was
|
|
in gloomy rebellion against the fact that his quick apprehensiveness
|
|
foreshadowed to him, and when his eyes fell on Rosamond's blighted
|
|
face it seemed to him that he was the more pitiable of the two;
|
|
for pain must enter into its glorified life of memory before it can
|
|
turn into compassion.
|
|
|
|
And so they remained for many minutes, opposite each other,
|
|
far apart, in silence; Will's face still possessed by a mute rage,
|
|
and Rosamond's by a mute misery. The poor thing had no force to fling
|
|
out any passion in return; the terrible collapse of the illusion
|
|
towards which all her hope had been strained was a stroke which had
|
|
too thoroughly shaken her: her little world was in ruins, and she
|
|
felt herself tottering in the midst as a lonely bewildered consciousness.
|
|
|
|
Will wished that she would speak and bring some mitigating shadow
|
|
across his own cruel speech, which seemed to stand staring at them
|
|
both in mockery of any attempt at revived fellowship. But she
|
|
said nothing, and at last with a desperate effort over himself,
|
|
he asked, "Shall I come in and see Lydgate this evening?"
|
|
|
|
"If you like," Rosamond answered, just audibly.
|
|
|
|
And then Will went out of the house, Martha never knowing that he
|
|
had been in.
|
|
|
|
After he was gone, Rosamond tried to get up from her seat, but fell
|
|
back fainting. When she came to herself again, she felt too ill
|
|
to make the exertion of rising to ring the bell, and she remained
|
|
helpless until the girl, surprised at her long absence, thought for
|
|
the first time of looking for her in all the down-stairs rooms.
|
|
Rosamond said that she had felt suddenly sick and faint, and wanted
|
|
to be helped up-stairs. When there she threw herself on the bed
|
|
with her clothes on, and lay in apparent torpor, as she had done
|
|
once before on a memorable day of grief.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate came home earlier than he had expected, about half-past five,
|
|
and found her there. The perception that she was ill threw every
|
|
other thought into the background. When he felt her pulse,
|
|
her eyes rested on him with more persistence than they had done
|
|
for a long while, as if she felt some content that he was there.
|
|
He perceived the difference in a moment, and seating himself
|
|
by her put his arm gently under her, and bending over her said,
|
|
"My poor Rosamond! has something agitated you?" Clinging to him
|
|
she fell into hysterical sobbings and cries, and for the next hour
|
|
he did nothing but soothe and tend her. He imagined that Dorothea
|
|
had been to see her, and that all this effect on her nervous system,
|
|
which evidently involved some new turning towards himself,
|
|
was due to the excitement of the new impressions which that visit
|
|
had raised.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXXIX.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Now, I saw in my dream, that just as they had ended their talk,
|
|
they drew nigh to a very miry slough, that was in the midst of the plain;
|
|
and they, being heedless, did both fall suddenly into the bog.
|
|
The name of the slough was Despond."--BUNYAN.
|
|
|
|
|
|
When Rosamond was quiet, and Lydgate had left her, hoping that she
|
|
might soon sleep under the effect of an anodyne, he went into the
|
|
drawing-room to fetch a book which he had left there, meaning to spend
|
|
the evening in his work-room, and he saw on the table Dorothea's
|
|
letter addressed to him. He had not ventured to ask Rosamond if
|
|
Mrs. Casaubon had called, but the reading of this letter assured him
|
|
of the fact, for Dorothea mentioned that it was to be carried by herself.
|
|
|
|
When Will Ladislaw came in a little later Lydgate met him with
|
|
a surprise which made it clear that he had not been told of the
|
|
earlier visit, and Will could not say, "Did not Mrs. Lydgate
|
|
tell you that I came this morning?"
|
|
|
|
"Poor Rosamond is ill," Lydgate added immediately on his greeting.
|
|
|
|
"Not seriously, I hope," said Will.
|
|
|
|
"No--only a slight nervous shock--the effect of some agitation.
|
|
She has been overwrought lately. The truth is, Ladislaw, I am an
|
|
unlucky devil. We have gone through several rounds of purgatory since
|
|
you left, and I have lately got on to a worse ledge of it than ever.
|
|
I suppose you are only just come down--you look rather battered--
|
|
you have not been long enough in the town to hear anything?"
|
|
|
|
"I travelled all night and got to the White Hart at eight o'clock
|
|
this morning. I have been shutting myself up and resting," said Will,
|
|
feeling himself a sneak, but seeing no alternative to this evasion.
|
|
|
|
And then he heard Lydgate's account of the troubles which Rosamond
|
|
had already depicted to him in her way. She had not mentioned
|
|
the fact of Will's name being connected with the public story--
|
|
this detail not immediately affecting her--and he now heard it
|
|
for the first time.
|
|
|
|
"I thought it better to tell you that your name is mixed up
|
|
with the disclosures," said Lydgate, who could understand better
|
|
than most men how Ladislaw might be stung by the revelation.
|
|
"You will be sure to hear it as soon as you turn out into the town.
|
|
I suppose it is true that Raffles spoke to you."
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Will, sardonically. "I shall be fortunate if gossip
|
|
does not make me the most disreputable person in the whole affair.
|
|
I should think the latest version must be, that I plotted with Raffles
|
|
to murder Bulstrode, and ran away from Middlemarch for the purpose."
|
|
|
|
He was thinking "Here is a new ring in the sound of my name to
|
|
recommend it in her hearing; however--what does it signify now?"
|
|
|
|
But he said nothing of Bulstrode's offer to him. Will was very
|
|
open and careless about his personal affairs, but it was among
|
|
the more exquisite touches in nature's modelling of him that he
|
|
had a delicate generosity which warned him into reticence here.
|
|
He shrank from saying that he had rejected Bulstrode's money,
|
|
in the moment when he was learning that it was Lydgate's misfortune
|
|
to have accepted it.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate too was reticent in the midst of his confidence. He made no
|
|
allusion to Rosamond's feeling under their trouble, and of Dorothea
|
|
he only said, "Mrs. Casaubon has been the one person to come forward
|
|
and say that she had no belief in any of the suspicions against me."
|
|
Observing a change in Will's face, he avoided any further mention
|
|
of her, feeling himself too ignorant of their relation to each
|
|
other not to fear that his words might have some hidden painful
|
|
bearing on it. And it occurred to him that Dorothea was the real
|
|
cause of the present visit to Middlemarch.
|
|
|
|
The two men were pitying each other, but it was only Will who
|
|
guessed the extent of his companion's trouble. When Lydgate
|
|
spoke with desperate resignation of going to settle in London,
|
|
and said with a faint smile, "We shall have you again, old fellow."
|
|
Will felt inexpressibly mournful, and said nothing. Rosamond had
|
|
that morning entreated him to urge this step on Lydgate; and it
|
|
seemed to him as if he were beholding in a magic panorama a future
|
|
where he himself was sliding into that pleasureless yielding
|
|
to the small solicitations of circumstance, which is a commoner
|
|
history of perdition than any single momentous bargain.
|
|
|
|
We are on a perilous margin when we begin to look passively at our
|
|
future selves, and see our own figures led with dull consent into
|
|
insipid misdoing and shabby achievement. Poor Lydgate was inwardly
|
|
groaning on that margin, and Will was arriving at it. It seemed
|
|
to him this evening as if the cruelty of his outburst to Rosamond
|
|
had made an obligation for him, and he dreaded the obligation:
|
|
he dreaded Lydgate's unsuspecting good-will: he dreaded his own distaste
|
|
for his spoiled life, which would leave him in motiveless levity.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXXX.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Stern lawgiver! yet thou dost wear
|
|
The Godhead's most benignant grace;
|
|
Nor know we anything so fair
|
|
As is the smile upon thy face;
|
|
Flowers laugh before thee on their beds,
|
|
And fragrance in thy footing treads;
|
|
Thou dost preserve the Stars from wrong;
|
|
And the most ancient Heavens, through thee, are fresh and strong.
|
|
--WORDSWORTH: Ode to Duty.
|
|
|
|
When Dorothea had seen Mr. Farebrother in the morning, she had
|
|
promised to go and dine at the parsonage on her return from Freshitt.
|
|
There was a frequent interchange of visits between her and the
|
|
Farebrother family, which enabled her to say that she was not at
|
|
all lonely at the Manor, and to resist for the present the severe
|
|
prescription of a lady companion. When she reached home and remembered
|
|
her engagement, she was glad of it; and finding that she had still
|
|
an hour before she could dress for dinner, she walked straight
|
|
to the schoolhouse and entered into a conversation with the master
|
|
and mistress about the new bell, giving eager attention to their small
|
|
details and repetitions, and getting up a dramatic sense that her life
|
|
was very busy. She paused on her way back to talk to old Master
|
|
Bunney who was putting in some garden-seeds, and discoursed wisely
|
|
with that rural sage about the crops that would make the most return
|
|
on a perch of ground, and the result of sixty years' experience as
|
|
to soils--namely, that if your soil was pretty mellow it would do,
|
|
but if there came wet, wet, wet to make it all of a mummy, why then--
|
|
|
|
Finding that the social spirit had beguiled her into being rather late,
|
|
she dressed hastily and went over to the parsonage rather earlier
|
|
than was necessary. That house was never dull, Mr. Farebrother,
|
|
like another White of Selborne, having continually something new
|
|
to tell of his inarticulate guests and proteges, whom he was
|
|
teaching the boys not to torment; and he had just set up a pair
|
|
of beautiful goats to be pets of the village in general, and to
|
|
walk at large as sacred animals. The evening went by cheerfully
|
|
till after tea, Dorothea talking more than usual and dilating
|
|
with Mr. Farebrother on the possible histories of creatures that
|
|
converse compendiously with their antennae, and for aught we know
|
|
may hold reformed parliaments; when suddenly some inarticulate
|
|
little sounds were heard which called everybody's attention.
|
|
|
|
"Henrietta Noble," said Mrs. Farebrother, seeing her small sister
|
|
moving about the furniture-legs distressfully, "what is the matter?"
|
|
|
|
"I have lost my tortoise-shell lozenge-box. I fear the kitten has
|
|
rolled it away," said the tiny old lady, involuntarily coutinuing
|
|
her beaver-like notes.
|
|
|
|
"Is it a great treasure, aunt?" said Mr. Farebrother, putting up
|
|
his glasses and looking at the carpet.
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Ladislaw gave it me," said Miss Noble. "A German box--
|
|
very pretty, but if it falls it always spins away as far as it can."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, if it is Ladislaw's present," said Mr. Farebrother,
|
|
in a deep tone of comprehension, getting up and hunting.
|
|
The box was found at last under a chiffonier, and Miss Noble
|
|
grasped it with delight, saying, "it was under a fender the last time."
|
|
|
|
"That is an affair of the heart with my aunt," said Mr. Farebrother,
|
|
smiling at Dorothea, as he reseated himself.
|
|
|
|
"If Henrietta Noble forms an attachment to any one, Mrs. Casaubon,"
|
|
said his mother, emphatically,--"she is like a dog--she would take
|
|
their shoes for a pillow and sleep the better."
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Ladislaw's shoes, I would," said Henrietta Noble.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea made an attempt at smiling in return. She was surprised
|
|
and annoyed to find that her heart was palpitating violently,
|
|
and that it was quite useless to try after a recovery of her
|
|
former animation. Alarmed at herself--fearing some further betrayal
|
|
of a change so marked in its occasion, she rose and said in a low
|
|
voice with undisguised anxiety, "I must go; I have overtired myself."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Farebrother, quick in perception, rose and said, "It is true;
|
|
you must have half-exhausted yourself in talking about Lydgate.
|
|
That sort of work tells upon one after the excitement is over."
|
|
|
|
He gave her his arm back to the Manor, but Dorothea did not attempt
|
|
to speak, even when he said good-night.
|
|
|
|
The limit of resistance was reached, and she had sunk back helpless within
|
|
the clutch of inescapable anguish. Dismissing Tantripp with a few faint
|
|
words, she locked her door, and turning away from it towards the vacant
|
|
room she pressed her hands hard on the top of her head, and moaned out--
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I did love him!"
|
|
|
|
Then came the hour in which the waves of suffering shook her too
|
|
thoroughly to leave any power of thought. She could only cry
|
|
in loud whispers, between her sobs, after her lost belief which she
|
|
had planted and kept alive from a very little seed since the days
|
|
in Rome--after her lost joy of clinging with silent love and faith
|
|
to one who, misprized by others, was worthy in her thought--
|
|
after her lost woman's pride of reigning in his memory--after her sweet
|
|
dim perspective of hope, that along some pathway they should meet
|
|
with unchanged recognition and take up the backward years as a yesterday.
|
|
|
|
In that hour she repeated what the merciful eyes of solitude
|
|
have looked on for ages in the spiritual struggles of man--
|
|
she besought hardness and coldness and aching weariness to bring
|
|
her relief from the mysterious incorporeal might of her anguish:
|
|
she lay on the bare floor and let the night grow cold around her;
|
|
while her grand woman's frame was shaken by sobs as if she had been
|
|
a despairing child.
|
|
|
|
There were two images--two living forms that tore her heart in two,
|
|
as if it had been the heart of a mother who seems to see her child
|
|
divided by the sword, and presses one bleeding half to her breast
|
|
while her gaze goes forth in agony towards the half which is carried
|
|
away by the lying woman that has never known the mother's pang.
|
|
|
|
Here, with the nearness of an answering smile, here within the
|
|
vibrating bond of mutual speech, was the bright creature whom she
|
|
had trusted--who had come to her like the spirit of morning visiting
|
|
the dim vault where she sat as the bride of a worn-out life;
|
|
and now, with a full consciousness which had never awakened before,
|
|
she stretched out her arms towards him and cried with bitter
|
|
cries that their nearness was a parting vision: she discovered
|
|
her passion to herself in the unshrinking utterance of despair.
|
|
|
|
And there, aloof, yet persistently with her, moving wherever
|
|
she moved, was the Will Ladislaw' who was a changed belief
|
|
exhausted of hope, a detected illusion--no, a living man towards
|
|
whom there could not yet struggle any wail of regretful pity,
|
|
from the midst of scorn and indignation and jealous offended pride.
|
|
The fire of Dorothea's anger was not easily spent, and it flamed
|
|
out in fitful returns of spurning reproach. Why had he come
|
|
obtruding his life into hers, hers that might have been whole
|
|
enough without him? Why had he brought his cheap regard and his
|
|
lip-born words to her who had nothing paltry to give in exchange?
|
|
He knew that he was deluding her--wished, in the very moment
|
|
of farewell, to make her believe that he gave her the whole
|
|
price of her heart, and knew that he had spent it half before.
|
|
Why had he not stayed among the crowd of whom she asked nothing--
|
|
but only prayed that they might be less contemptible?
|
|
|
|
But she lost energy at last even for her loud-whispered cries
|
|
and moans: she subsided into helpless sobs, and on the cold floor
|
|
she sobbed herself to sleep.
|
|
|
|
In the chill hours of the morning twilight, when all was dim
|
|
around her, she awoke--not with any amazed wondering where she
|
|
was or what had happened, but with the clearest consciousness
|
|
that she was looking into the eyes of sorrow. She rose,
|
|
and wrapped warm things around her, and seated
|
|
|
|
herself in a great chair where she had often watched before.
|
|
She was vigorous enough to have borne that hard night without feeling
|
|
ill in body, beyond some aching and fatigue; but she had waked
|
|
to a new condition: she felt as if her soul had been liberated from
|
|
its terrible conflict; she was no longer wrestling with her grief,
|
|
but could sit down with it as a lasting companion and make it a sharer
|
|
in her thoughts. For now the thoughts came thickly. It was not
|
|
in Dorothea's nature, for longer than the duration of a paroxysm,
|
|
to sit in the narrow cell of her calamity, in the besotted misery
|
|
of a consciousness that only sees another's lot as an accident
|
|
of its own.
|
|
|
|
She began now to live through that yesterday morning deliberately again,
|
|
forcing herself to dwell on every detail and its possible meaning.
|
|
Was she alone in that scene? Was it her event only? She forced
|
|
herself to think of it as bound up with another woman's life--a woman
|
|
towards whom she had set out with a longing to carry some clearness
|
|
and comfort into her beclouded youth. In her first outleap of jealous
|
|
indignation and disgust, when quitting the hateful room, she had
|
|
flung away all the mercy with which she had undertaken that visit.
|
|
She had enveloped both Will and Rosamond in her burning scorn, and it
|
|
seemed to her as if Rosamond were burned out of her sight forever.
|
|
But that base prompting which makes a women more cruel to a rival
|
|
than to a faithless lover, could have no strength of recurrence
|
|
in Dorothea when the dominant spirit of justice within her had once
|
|
overcome the tumult and had once shown her the truer measure of things.
|
|
All the active thought with which she had before been representing to
|
|
herself the trials of Lydgate's lot, and this young marriage union which,
|
|
like her own, seemed to have its hidden as well as evident troubles--
|
|
all this vivid sympathetic experience returned to her now as a power:
|
|
it asserted itself as acquired knowledge asserts itself and will
|
|
not let us see as we saw in the day of our ignorance. She said
|
|
to her own irremediable grief, that it should make her more helpful,
|
|
instead of driving her back from effort.
|
|
|
|
And what sort of crisis might not this be in three lives whose
|
|
contact with hers laid an obligation on her as if they had been
|
|
suppliants bearing the sacred branch? The objects of her rescue
|
|
were not to be sought out by her fancy: they were chosen for her.
|
|
She yearned towards the perfect Right, that it might make a
|
|
throne within her, and rule her errant will. "What should I do--
|
|
how should I act now, this very day, if I could clutch my own pain,
|
|
and compel it to silence, and think of those three?"
|
|
|
|
It had taken long for her to come to that question, and there was
|
|
light piercing into the room. She opened her curtains, and looked
|
|
out towards the bit of road that lay in view, with fields beyond
|
|
outside the entrance-gates. On the road there was a man with a bundle
|
|
on his back and a woman carrying her baby; in the field she could
|
|
see figures moving--perhaps the shepherd with his dog. Far off
|
|
in the bending sky was the pearly light; and she felt the largeness
|
|
of the world and the manifold wakings of men to labor and endurance.
|
|
She was a part of that involuntary, palpitating life, and could
|
|
neither look out on it from her luxurious shelter as a mere spectator,
|
|
nor hide her eyes in selfish complaining.
|
|
|
|
What she would resolve to do that day did not yet seem quite clear,
|
|
but something that she could achieve stirred her as with an approaching
|
|
murmur which would soon gather distinctness. She took off the clothes
|
|
which seemed to have some of the weariness of a hard watching in them,
|
|
and began to make her toilet. Presently she rang for Tantripp,
|
|
who came in her dressing-gown.
|
|
|
|
"Why, madam, you've never been in bed this blessed night,"
|
|
burst out Tantripp, looking first at the bed and then at Dorothea's face,
|
|
which in spite of bathing had the pale cheeks and pink eyelids of a
|
|
mater dolorosa. "You'll kill yourself, you WILL. Anybody
|
|
might think now you had a right to give yourself a little comfort."
|
|
|
|
"Don't be alarmed, Tantripp," said Dorothea, smiling. "I have slept;
|
|
I am not ill. I shall be glad of a cup of coffee as soon as possible.
|
|
And I want you to bring me my new dress; and most likely I shall want
|
|
my new bonnet to-day."
|
|
|
|
"They've lain there a month and more ready for you, madam,
|
|
and most thankful I shall be to see you with a couple o' pounds'
|
|
worth less of crape," said Tantripp, stooping to light the fire.
|
|
"There's a reason in mourning, as I've always said; and three folds
|
|
at the bottom of your skirt and a plain quilling in your bonnet--
|
|
and if ever anybody looked like an angel, it's you in a net quilling--
|
|
is what's consistent for a second year. At least, that's MY
|
|
thinking," ended Tantripp, looking anxiously at the fire;
|
|
"and if anybody was to marry me flattering himself I should wear
|
|
those hijeous weepers two years for him, he'd be deceived by his
|
|
own vanity, that's all."
|
|
|
|
"The fire will do, my good Tan," said Dorothea, speaking as she
|
|
used to do in the old Lausanne days, only with a very low voice;
|
|
"get me the coffee."
|
|
|
|
She folded herself in the large chair, and leaned her head against
|
|
it in fatigued quiescence, while Tantripp went away wondering
|
|
at this strange contrariness in her young mistress--that just the
|
|
morning when she had more of a widow's face than ever, she should
|
|
have asked for her lighter mourning which she had waived before.
|
|
Tantripp would never have found the clew to this mystery.
|
|
Dorothea wished to acknowledge that she had not the less an
|
|
active life before her because she had buried a private joy;
|
|
and the tradition that fresh garments belonged to all initiation,
|
|
haunting her mind, made her grasp after even that slight outward
|
|
help towards calm resolve. For the resolve was not easy.
|
|
|
|
Nevertheless at eleven o'clock she was walking towards Middlemarch,
|
|
having made up her mind that she would make as quietly and unnoticeably
|
|
as possible her second attempt to see and save Rosamond.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXXXI.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Du Erde warst auch diese Nacht bestandig,
|
|
Und athmest neu erquickt zu meinen Fussen,
|
|
Beginnest schon mit Lust mich zu umgeben,
|
|
Zum regst und ruhrst ein kraftiges Reschliessen
|
|
Zum hochsten Dasein immerfort zu streben.
|
|
--Faust: 2r Theil.
|
|
|
|
|
|
When Dorothea was again at Lydgate's door speaking to Martha,
|
|
he was in the room close by with the door ajar, preparing to go out.
|
|
He heard her voice, and immediately came to her.
|
|
|
|
"Do you think that Mrs. Lydgate can receive me this morning?"
|
|
she said, having reflected that it would be better to leave out all
|
|
allusion to her previous visit.
|
|
|
|
"I have no doubt she will," said Lydgate, suppressing his thought
|
|
about Dorothea's looks, which were as much changed as Rosamond's,
|
|
"if you will be kind enough to come in and let me tell her that you
|
|
are here. She has not been very well since you were here yesterday,
|
|
but she is better this morning, and I think it is very likely
|
|
that she will be cheered by seeing you again."
|
|
|
|
It was plain that Lydgate, as Dorothea had expected, knew nothing
|
|
about the circumstances of her yesterday's visit; nay, he appeared
|
|
to imagine that she had carried it out according to her intention.
|
|
She had prepared a little note asking Rosamond to see her, which she
|
|
would have given to the servant if he had not been in the way,
|
|
but now she was in much anxiety as to the result of his announcement.
|
|
|
|
After leading her into the drawing-room, he paused to take a letter
|
|
from his pocket and put it into her hands, saying, "I wrote this
|
|
last night, and was going to carry it to Lowick in my ride.
|
|
When one is grateful for something too good for common thanks,
|
|
writing is less unsatisfactory than speech one does not at least
|
|
HEAR how inadequate the words are."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea's face brightened. "It is I who have most to thank for,
|
|
since you have let me take that place. You HAVE consented?"
|
|
she said, suddenly doubting.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, the check is going to Bulstrode to-day."
|
|
|
|
He said no more, but went up-stairs to Rosamond, who had but lately
|
|
finished dressing herself, and sat languidly wondering what she
|
|
should do next, her habitual industry in small things, even in the
|
|
days of her sadness, prompting her to begin some kind of occupation,
|
|
which she dragged through slowly or paused in from lack of interest.
|
|
She looked ill, but had recovered her usual quietude of manner,
|
|
and Lydgate had feared to disturb her by any questions. He had
|
|
told her of Dorothea's letter containing the check, and afterwards
|
|
he had said, "Ladislaw is come, Rosy; he sat with me last night;
|
|
I dare say he will be here again to-day. I thought he looked rather
|
|
battered and depressed." And Rosamond had made no reply.
|
|
|
|
Now, when he came up, he said to her very gently, "Rosy, dear,
|
|
Mrs. Casaubon is come to see you again; you would like to see her,
|
|
would you not?" That she colored and gave rather a startled
|
|
movement did not surprise him after the agitation produced by the
|
|
interview yesterday--a beneficent agitation, he thought, since it
|
|
seemed to have made her turn to him again.
|
|
|
|
Rosamond dared not say no. She dared not with a tone of her voice
|
|
touch the facts of yesterday. Why had Mrs. Casaubon come again?
|
|
The answer was a blank which Rosamond could only fill up
|
|
with dread, for Will Ladislaw's lacerating words had made every
|
|
thought of Dorothea a fresh smart to her. Nevertheless, in her
|
|
new humiliating uncertainty she dared do nothing but comply.
|
|
She did not say yes, but she rose and let Lydgate put a light shawl
|
|
over her shoulders, while he said, "I am going out immediately."
|
|
Then something crossed her mind which prompted her to say,
|
|
"Pray tell Martha not to bring any one else into the drawing-room."
|
|
And Lydgate assented, thinking that he fully understood this wish.
|
|
He led her down to the drawing-room door, and then turned away,
|
|
observing to himself that he was rather a blundering husband
|
|
to be dependent for his wife's trust in him on the influence of
|
|
another woman.
|
|
|
|
Rosamond, wrapping her soft shawl around her as she walked
|
|
towards Dorothea, was inwardly wrapping her soul in cold reserve.
|
|
Had Mrs. Casaubon come to say anything to her about Will? If so,
|
|
it was a liberty that Rosamond resented; and she prepared herself
|
|
to meet every word with polite impassibility. Will had bruised
|
|
her pride too sorely for her to feel any compunction towards
|
|
him and Dorothea: her own injury seemed much the greater.
|
|
Dorothea was not only the "preferred" woman, but had also a
|
|
formidable advantage in being Lydgate's benefactor; and to poor
|
|
Rosamond's pained confused vision it seemed that this Mrs. Casaubon--
|
|
this woman who predominated in all things concerning her--must have
|
|
come now with the sense of having the advantage, and with animosity
|
|
prompting her to use it. Indeed, not Rosamond only, but any one else,
|
|
knowing the outer facts of the case, and not the simple inspiration
|
|
on which Dorothea acted, might well have wondered why she came.
|
|
|
|
Looking like the lovely ghost of herself, her graceful slimness
|
|
wrapped in her soft white shawl, the rounded infantine mouth
|
|
and cheek inevitably suggesting mildness and innocence, Rosamond
|
|
paused at three yards' distance from her visitor and bowed.
|
|
But Dorothea, who had taken off her gloves, from an impulse
|
|
which she could never resist when she wanted a sense of freedom,
|
|
came forward, and with her face full of a sad yet sweet openness,
|
|
put out her hand. Rosamond could not avoid meeting her glance,
|
|
could not avoid putting her small hand into Dorothea's, which clasped
|
|
it with gentle motherliness; and immediately a doubt of her own
|
|
prepossessions began to stir within her. Rosamond's eye was quick
|
|
for faces; she saw that Mrs. Casaubon's face looked pale and changed
|
|
since yesterday, yet gentle, and like the firm softness of her hand.
|
|
But Dorothea had counted a little too much on her own strength:
|
|
the clearness and intensity of her mental action this morning
|
|
were the continuance of a nervous exaltation which made her frame
|
|
as dangerously responsive as a bit of finest Venetian crystal;
|
|
and in looking at Rosamond, she suddenly found her heart swelling,
|
|
and was unable to speak--all her effort was required to keep back tears.
|
|
She succeeded in that, and the emotion only passed over her face
|
|
like the spirit of a sob; but it added to Rosamond's impression
|
|
that Mrs. Casaubon's state of mind must be something quite different
|
|
from what she had imagined.
|
|
|
|
So they sat down without a word of preface on the two chairs that
|
|
happened to be nearest, and happened also to be close together;
|
|
though Rosamond's notion when she first bowed was that she should
|
|
stay a long way off from Mrs. Casaubon. But she ceased thinking
|
|
how anything would turn out--merely wondering what would come.
|
|
And Dorothea began to speak quite simply, gathering firmness as she
|
|
went on.
|
|
|
|
"I had an errand yesterday which I did not finish; that is why I am
|
|
here again so soon. You will not think me too troublesome when I
|
|
tell you that I came to talk to you about the injustice that has
|
|
been shown towards Mr. Lydgate. It will cheer you--will it not?--
|
|
to know a great deal about him, that he may not like to speak
|
|
about himself just because it is in his own vindication and to his
|
|
own honor. You will like to know that your husband has warm friends,
|
|
who have not left off believing in his high character? You will let
|
|
me speak of this without thinking that I take a liberty?"
|
|
|
|
The cordial, pleading tones which seemed to flow with generous
|
|
heedlessness above all the facts which had filled Rosamond's mind
|
|
as grounds of obstruction and hatred between her and this woman,
|
|
came as soothingly as a warm stream over her shrinking fears.
|
|
Of course Mrs. Casaubon had the facts in her mind, but she was
|
|
not going to speak of anything connected with them. That relief
|
|
was too great for Rosamond to feel much else at the moment.
|
|
She answered prettily, in the new ease of her soul--
|
|
|
|
"I know you have been very good. I shall like to hear anything
|
|
you will say to me about Tertius."
|
|
|
|
"The day before yesterday," said Dorothea, "when I had asked him to
|
|
come to Lowick to give me his opinion on the affairs of the Hospital,
|
|
he told me everything about his conduct and feelings in this sad event
|
|
which has made ignorant people cast suspicions on him. The reason he
|
|
told me was because I was very bold and asked him. I believed that he
|
|
had never acted dishonorably, and I begged him to tell me the history.
|
|
He confessed to me that he had never told it before, not even
|
|
to you, because he had a great dislike to say, `I was not wrong,'
|
|
as if that were proof, when there are guilty people who will say so.
|
|
The truth is, he knew nothing of this man Raffles, or that there
|
|
were any bad secrets about him; and he thought that Mr. Bulstrode
|
|
offered him the money because he repented, out of kindness, of having
|
|
refused it before. All his anxiety about his patient was to treat
|
|
him rightly, and he was a little uncomfortable that the case did
|
|
not end as he had expected; but he thought then and still thinks
|
|
that there may have been no wrong in it on any one's part. And I
|
|
have told Mr. Farebrother, and Mr. Brooke, and Sir James Chettam:
|
|
they all believe in your husband. That will cheer you, will it not?
|
|
That will give you courage?"
|
|
|
|
Dorothea's face had become animated, and as it beamed on Rosamond
|
|
very close to her, she felt something like bashful timidity before
|
|
a superior, in the presence of this self-forgetful ardor. She said,
|
|
with blushing embarrassment, "Thank you: you are very kind."
|
|
|
|
"And he felt that he had been so wrong not to pour out everything
|
|
about this to you. But you will forgive him. It was because he
|
|
feels so much more about your happiness than anything else--
|
|
he feels his life bound into one with yours, and it hurts
|
|
him more than anything, that his misfortunes must hurt you.
|
|
He could speak to me because I am an indifferent person.
|
|
And then I asked him if I might come to see you; because I felt
|
|
so much for his trouble and yours. That is why I came yesterday,
|
|
and why I am come to-day. Trouble is so hard to bear, is it not?--
|
|
How can we live and think that any one has trouble--piercing trouble--
|
|
and we could help them, and never try?"
|
|
|
|
Dorothea, completely swayed by the feeling that she was uttering,
|
|
forgot everything but that she was speaking from out the heart
|
|
of her own trial to Rosamond's. The emotion had wrought itself
|
|
more and more into her utterance, till the tones might have gone
|
|
to one's very marrow, like a low cry from some suffering creature
|
|
in the darkness. And she had unconsciously laid her hand again
|
|
on the little hand that she had pressed before.
|
|
|
|
Rosamond, with an overmastering pang, as if a wound within her
|
|
had been probed, burst into hysterical crying as she had done
|
|
the day before when she clung to her husband. Poor Dorothea
|
|
was feeling a great wave of her own sorrow returning over her--
|
|
her thought being drawn to the possible share that Will Ladislaw
|
|
might have in Rosamond's mental tumult. She was beginning to fear
|
|
that she should not be able to suppress herself enough to the end of
|
|
this meeting, and while her hand was still resting on Rosamond's lap,
|
|
though the hand underneath it was withdrawn, she was struggling
|
|
against her own rising sobs. She tried to master herself with
|
|
the thought that this might be a turning-point in three lives--
|
|
not in her own; no, there the irrevocable had happened, but--
|
|
in those three lives which were touching hers with the solemn
|
|
neighborhood of danger and distress. The fragile creature who was
|
|
crying close to her--there might still be time to rescue her from
|
|
the misery of false incompatible bonds; and this moment was unlike
|
|
any other: she and Rosamond could never be together again with
|
|
the same thrilling consciousness of yesterday within them both.
|
|
She felt the relation between them to be peculiar enough to give
|
|
her a peculiar influence, though she had no conception that the way
|
|
in which her own feelings were involved was fully known to Mrs. Lydgate.
|
|
|
|
It was a newer crisis in Rosamond's experience than even Dorothea
|
|
could imagine: she was under the first great shock that had shattered
|
|
her dream-world in which she had been easily confident of herself
|
|
and critical of others; and this strange unexpected manifestation
|
|
of feeling in a woman whom she had approached with a shrinking
|
|
aversion and dread, as one who must necessarily have a jealous hatred
|
|
towards her, made her soul totter all the more with a sense that she
|
|
had been walking in an unknown world which had just broken in upon her.
|
|
|
|
When Rosamond's convulsed throat was subsiding into calm, and she
|
|
withdrew the handkerchief with which she had been hiding her face,
|
|
her eyes met Dorothea's as helplessly as if they had been blue flowers.
|
|
What was the use of thinking about behavior after this crying?
|
|
And Dorothea looked almost as childish, with the neglected trace of a
|
|
silent tear. Pride was broken down between these two.
|
|
|
|
"We were talking about your husband," Dorothea said, with some timidity.
|
|
"I thought his looks were sadly changed with suffering the other day.
|
|
I had not seen him for many weeks before. He said he had been
|
|
feeling very lonely in his trial; but I think he would have borne
|
|
it all better if he had been able to be quite open with you."
|
|
|
|
"Tertius is so angry and impatient if I say anything," said Rosamond,
|
|
imagining that he had been complaining of her to Dorothea. "He ought
|
|
not to wonder that I object to speak to him on painful subjects."
|
|
|
|
"It was himself he blamed for not speaking," said Dorothea.
|
|
"What he said of you was, that he could not be happy in doing anything
|
|
which made you unhappy--that his marriage was of course a bond
|
|
which must affect his choice about everything; and for that reason he
|
|
refused my proposal that he should keep his position at the Hospital,
|
|
because that would bind him to stay in Middlemarch, and he would not
|
|
undertake to do anything which would be painful to you. He could say
|
|
that to me, because he knows that I had much trial in my marriage,
|
|
from my husband's illness, which hindered his plans and saddened him;
|
|
and he knows that I have felt how hard it is to walk always in fear
|
|
of hurting another who is tied to us."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea waited a little; she had discerned a faint pleasure stealing
|
|
over Rosamond's face. But there was no answer, and she went on,
|
|
with a gathering tremor, "Marriage is so unlike everything else.
|
|
There is something even awful in the nearness it brings. Even if we
|
|
loved some one else better than--than those we were married to,
|
|
it would be no use"--poor Dorothea, in her palpitating anxiety,
|
|
could only seize her language brokenly--"I mean, marriage drinks
|
|
up all our power of giving or getting any blessedness in that sort
|
|
of love. I know it may be very dear--but it murders our marriage--
|
|
and then the marriage stays with us like a murder--and everything
|
|
else is gone. And then our husband--if he loved and trusted us,
|
|
and we have not helped him, but made a curse in his life--"
|
|
|
|
Her voice had sunk very low: there was a dread upon her of presuming
|
|
too far, and of speaking as if she herself were perfection
|
|
addressing error. She was too much preoccupied with her own anxiety,
|
|
to be aware that Rosamond was trembling too; and filled with the need
|
|
to express pitying fellowship rather than rebuke, she put her hands on
|
|
Rosamond's, and said with more agitated rapidity,--"I know, I know that
|
|
the feeling may be very dear--it has taken hold of us unawares--it is so
|
|
hard, it may seem like death to part with it--and we are weak--I am weak--"
|
|
|
|
The waves of her own sorrow, from out of which she was struggling
|
|
to save another, rushed over Dorothea with conquering force.
|
|
She stopped in speechless agitation. not crying, but feeling
|
|
as if she were being inwardly grappled. Her face had become of a
|
|
deathlier paleness, her lips trembled, and she pressed her hands
|
|
helplessly on the hands that lay under them.
|
|
|
|
Rosamond, taken hold of by an emotion stronger than her own--
|
|
hurried along in a new movement which gave all things some new,
|
|
awful, undefined aspect--could find no words, but involuntarily
|
|
she put her lips to Dorothea's forehead which was very near her,
|
|
and then for a minute the two women clasped each other as if they
|
|
had been in a shipwreck.
|
|
|
|
"You are thinking what is not true," said Rosamond, in an eager
|
|
half-whisper, while she was still feeling Dorothea's arms round her--
|
|
urged by a mysterious necessity to free herself from something
|
|
that oppressed her as if it were blood guiltiness.
|
|
|
|
They moved apart, looking at each other.
|
|
|
|
"When you came in yesterday--it was not as you thought,"
|
|
said Rosamond in the same tone.
|
|
|
|
There was a movement of surprised attention in Dorothea She expected
|
|
a vindication of Rosamond herself.
|
|
|
|
"He was telling me how he loved another woman, that I might know
|
|
he could never love me," said Rosamond, getting more and more
|
|
hurried as she went on. "And now I think he hates me because--
|
|
because you mistook him yesterday. He says it is through me
|
|
that you will think ill of him--think that he is a false person.
|
|
But it shall not be through me. He has never had any love for me--
|
|
I know he has not--he has always thought slightly of me.
|
|
He said yesterday that no other woman existed for him beside you.
|
|
The blame of what happened is entirely mine. He said he could never
|
|
explain to you--because of me. He said you could never think well
|
|
of him again. But now I have told you, and he cannot reproach me
|
|
any more."
|
|
|
|
Rosamond had delivered her soul under impulses which she had not
|
|
known before. She had begun her confession under the subduing
|
|
influence of Dorothea's emotion; and as she went on she had
|
|
gathered the sense that she was repelling Will's reproaches,
|
|
which were still like a knife-wound within her.
|
|
|
|
The revulsion of feeling in Dorothea was too strong to be called joy.
|
|
It was a tumult in which the terrible strain of the night and
|
|
morning made a resistant pain:--she could only perceive that this
|
|
would be joy when she had recovered her power of feeling it.
|
|
Her immediate consciousness was one of immense sympathy without cheek;
|
|
she cared for Rosamond without struggle now, and responded earnestly
|
|
to her last words--
|
|
|
|
"No, he cannot reproach you any more."
|
|
|
|
With her usual tendency to over-estimate the good in others,
|
|
she felt a great outgoing of her heart towards Rosamond,
|
|
for the generous effort which had redeemed her from suffering,
|
|
not counting that the effort was a reflex of her own energy.
|
|
After they had been silent a little, she said--
|
|
|
|
"You are not sorry that I came this morning?"
|
|
|
|
"No, you have been very good to me," said Rosamond. "I did not think
|
|
that you would be so good. I was very unhappy. I am not happy now.
|
|
Everything is so sad."
|
|
|
|
"But better days will come. Your husband will be rightly valued.
|
|
And he depends on you for comfort. He loves you best.
|
|
The worst loss would be to lose that--and you have not lost it,"
|
|
said Dorothea.
|
|
|
|
She tried to thrust away the too overpowering thought of her
|
|
own relief, lest she should fail to win some sign that Rosamond's
|
|
affection was yearning back towards her husband.
|
|
|
|
"Tertius did not find fault with me, then?" said Rosamond,
|
|
understanding now that Lydgate might have said anything to
|
|
Mrs. Casaubon, and that she certainly was different from other women.
|
|
Perhaps there was a faint taste of jealousy in the question.
|
|
A smile began to play over Dorothea's face as she said--
|
|
|
|
"No, indeed! How could you imagine it?" But here the door opened,
|
|
and Lydgate entered.
|
|
|
|
"I am come back in my quality of doctor," he said. "After I
|
|
went away, I was haunted by two pale faces: Mrs. Casaubon looked
|
|
as much in need of care as you, Rosy. And I thought that I
|
|
had not done my duty in leaving you together; so when I had been
|
|
to Coleman's I came home again. I noticed that you were walking,
|
|
Mrs. Casaubon, and the sky has changed--I think we may have rain.
|
|
May I send some one to order your carriage to come for you?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, no! I am strong: I need the walk," said Dorothea,
|
|
rising with animation in her face. "Mrs. Lydgate and I
|
|
have chatted a great deal, and it is time for me to go.
|
|
I have always been accused of being immoderate and saying too much."
|
|
|
|
She put out her hand to Rosamond, and they said an earnest, quiet good-by
|
|
without kiss or other show of effusion: there had been between them
|
|
too much serious emotion for them to use the signs of it superficially.
|
|
|
|
As Lydgate took her to the door she said nothing of Rosamond,
|
|
but told him of Mr. Farebrother and the other friends who had
|
|
listened with belief to his story.
|
|
|
|
When he came back to Rosamond, she had already thrown herself
|
|
on the sofa, in resigned fatigue.
|
|
|
|
"Well, Rosy," he said, standing over her, and touching her hair,
|
|
"what do you think of Mrs. Casaubon now you have seen so much
|
|
of her?"
|
|
|
|
"I think she must be better than any one," said Rosamond,
|
|
"and she is very beautiful. If you go to talk to her so often,
|
|
you will be more discontented with me than ever!"
|
|
|
|
Lydgate laughed at the "so often." "But has she made you any less
|
|
discontented with me?"
|
|
|
|
"I think she has," said Rosamond, looking up in his face.
|
|
"How heavy your eyes are, Tertius--and do push your hair back."
|
|
He lifted up his large white hand to obey her, and felt thankful
|
|
for this little mark of interest in him. Poor Rosamond's vagrant
|
|
fancy had come back terribly scourged--meek enough to nestle
|
|
under the old despised shelter. And the shelter was still there:
|
|
Lydgate had accepted his narrowed lot with sad resignation.
|
|
He had chosen this fragile creature, and had taken the burthen
|
|
of her life upon his arms. He must walk as he could, carrying that
|
|
burthen pitifully.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXXXII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"My grief lies onward and my joy behind."
|
|
--SHAKESPEARE: Sonnets.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Exiles notoriously feed much on hopes, and are unlikely to stay
|
|
in banishment unless they are obliged. When Will Ladislaw exiled
|
|
himself from Middlemarch he had placed no stronger obstacle to his
|
|
return than his own resolve, which was by no means an iron barrier,
|
|
but simply a state of mind liable to melt into a minuet with other
|
|
states of mind, and to find itself bowing, smiling, and giving
|
|
place with polite facility. As the months went on, it had seemed
|
|
more and more difficult to him to say why he should not run down
|
|
to Middlemarch--merely for the sake of hearing something about Dorothea;
|
|
and if on such a flying visit he should chance by some strange
|
|
coincidence to meet with her, there was no reason for him to be
|
|
ashamed of having taken an innocent journey which he had beforehand
|
|
supposed that he should not take. Since he was hopelessly
|
|
divided from her, he might surely venture into her neighborhood;
|
|
and as to the suspicious friends who kept a dragon watch over her--
|
|
their opinions seemed less and less important with time and change
|
|
of air.
|
|
|
|
And there had come a reason quite irrespective of Dorothea, which seemed
|
|
to make a journey to Middlemarch a sort of philanthropic duty.
|
|
Will had given a disinterested attention to an intended settlement
|
|
on a new plan in the Far West, and the need for funds in order to
|
|
carry out a good design had set him on debating with himself whether
|
|
it would not be a laudable use to make of his claim on Bulstrode,
|
|
to urge the application of that money which had been offered to himself
|
|
as a means of carrying out a scheme likely to be largely beneficial.
|
|
The question seemed a very dubious one to Will, and his repugnance
|
|
to again entering into any relation with the banker might have made
|
|
him dismiss it quickly, if there had not arisen in his imagination
|
|
the probability that his judgment might be more safely determined
|
|
by a visit to Middlemarch.
|
|
|
|
That was the object which Will stated to himself as a reason
|
|
for coming down. He had meant to confide in Lydgate, and discuss
|
|
the money question with him, and he had meant to amuse himself
|
|
for the few evenings of his stay by having a great deal of music
|
|
and badinage with fair Rosamond, without neglecting his friends
|
|
at Lowick Parsonage:--if the Parsonage was close to the Manor,
|
|
that was no fault of his. He had neglected the Farebrothers before
|
|
his departure, from a proud resistance to the possible accusation
|
|
of indirectly seeking interviews with Dorothea; but hunger tames us,
|
|
and Will had become very hungry for the vision of a certain form
|
|
and the sound of a certain voice. Nothing, had done instead--
|
|
not the opera, or the converse of zealous politicians, or the flattering
|
|
reception (in dim corners) of his new hand in leading articles.
|
|
|
|
Thus he had come down, foreseeing with confidence how almost
|
|
everything would be in his familiar little world; fearing, indeed,
|
|
that there would be no surprises in his visit. But he had found
|
|
that humdrum world in a terribly dynamic condition, in which even
|
|
badinage and lyrism had turned explosive; and the first day of this
|
|
visit had become the most fatal epoch of his life. The next
|
|
morning he felt so harassed with the nightmare of consequences--
|
|
he dreaded so much the immediate issues before him--that seeing
|
|
while he breakfasted the arrival of the Riverston coach, he went
|
|
out hurriedly and took his place on it, that he might be relieved,
|
|
at least for a day, from the necessity of doing or saying anything
|
|
in Middlemarch. Will Ladislaw was in one of those tangled crises
|
|
which are commoner in experience than one might imagine, from the
|
|
shallow absoluteness of men's judgments. He had found Lydgate,
|
|
for whom he had the sincerest respect, under circumstances which
|
|
claimed his thorough and frankly declared sympathy; and the reason why,
|
|
in spite of that claim, it would have been better for Will to have
|
|
avoided all further intimacy, or even contact, with Lydgate,
|
|
was precisely of the kind to make such a course appear impossible.
|
|
To a creature of Will's susceptible temperament--without any neutral
|
|
region of indifference in his nature, ready to turn everything that
|
|
befell him into the collisions of a passionate drama--the revelation
|
|
that Rosamond had made her happiness in any way dependent on him was
|
|
a difficulty which his outburst of rage towards her had immeasurably
|
|
increased for him. He hated his own cruelty, and yet he dreaded
|
|
to show the fulness of his relenting: he must go to her again;
|
|
the friendship could not be put to a sudden end; and her unhappiness
|
|
was a power which he dreaded. And all the while there was no more
|
|
foretaste of enjoyment in the life before him than if his limbs
|
|
had been lopped off and he was making his fresh start on crutches.
|
|
In the night he had debated whether he should not get on the coach,
|
|
not for Riverston, but for London, leaving a note to Lydgate
|
|
which would give a makeshift reason for his retreat. But there
|
|
were strong cords pulling him back from that abrupt departure:
|
|
the blight on his happiness in thinking of Dorothea, the crushing
|
|
of that chief hope which had remained in spite of the acknowledged
|
|
necessity for renunciation, was too fresh a misery for him to
|
|
resign himself to it and go straightway into a distance which was
|
|
also despair.
|
|
|
|
Thus he did nothing more decided than taking the Riverston coach.
|
|
He came back again by it while it was still daylight, having made
|
|
up his mind that he must go to Lydgate's that evening.
|
|
The Rubicon, we know, was a very insignificant stream to look at;
|
|
its significance lay entirely in certain invisible conditions.
|
|
Will felt as if he were forced to cross his small boundary ditch,
|
|
and what he saw beyond it was not empire, but discontented subjection.
|
|
|
|
But it is given to us sometimes even in our every-day life to
|
|
witness the saving influence of a noble nature, the divine efficacy
|
|
of rescue that may lie in a self-subduing act of fellowship.
|
|
If Dorothea, after her night's anguish, had not taken that walk
|
|
to Rosamond--why, she perhaps would have been a woman who gained
|
|
a higher character for discretion, but it would certainly not have
|
|
been as well for those three who were on one hearth in Lydgate's
|
|
house at half-past seven that evening.
|
|
|
|
Rosamond had been prepared for Will's visit, and she received him with a
|
|
languid coldness which Lydgate accounted for by her nervous exhaustion,
|
|
of which he could not suppose that it had any relation to Will.
|
|
And when she sat in silence bending over a bit of work, he innocently
|
|
apologized for her in an indirect way by begging her to lean backward
|
|
and rest. Will was miserable in the necessity for playing the part
|
|
of a friend who was making his first appearance and greeting to Rosamond,
|
|
while his thoughts were busy about her feeling since that scene
|
|
of yesterday, which seemed still inexorably to enclose them both,
|
|
like the painful vision of a double madness. It happened that nothing
|
|
called Lydgate out of the room; but when Rosamond poured out the tea,
|
|
and Will came near to fetch it, she placed a tiny bit of folded
|
|
paper in his saucer. He saw it and secured it quickly, but as he
|
|
went back to his inn he had no eagerness to unfold the paper.
|
|
What Rosamond had written to him would probably deepen the painful
|
|
impressions of the evening. Still, he opened and read it by his
|
|
bed-candle. There were only these few words in her neatly flowing hand:--
|
|
|
|
"I have told Mrs. Casaubon. She is not under any mistake about you.
|
|
I told her because she came to see me and was very kind. You will
|
|
have nothing to reproach me with now. I shall not have made any
|
|
difference to you."
|
|
|
|
The effect of these words was not quite all gladness. As Will dwelt
|
|
on them with excited imagination, he felt his cheeks and ears burning
|
|
at the thought of what had occurred between Dorothea and Rosamond--
|
|
at the uncertainty how far Dorothea might still feel her dignity
|
|
wounded in having an explanation of his conduct offered to her.
|
|
There might still remain in her mind a changed association with him
|
|
which made an irremediable difference--a lasting flaw. With active
|
|
fancy he wrought himself into a state of doubt little more easy
|
|
than that of the man who has escaped from wreck by night and stands
|
|
on unknown ground in the darkness. Until that wretched yesterday--
|
|
except the moment of vexation long ago in the very same room and
|
|
in the very same presence--all their vision, all their thought of
|
|
each other, had been as in a world apart, where the sunshine fell on
|
|
tall white lilies, where no evil lurked, and no other soul entered.
|
|
But now--would Dorothea meet him in that world again?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXXXIII.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"And now good-morrow to our waking souls
|
|
Which watch not one another out of fear;
|
|
For love all love of other sights controls,
|
|
And makes one little room, an everywhere."
|
|
--DR. DONNE.
|
|
|
|
|
|
On the second morning after Dorothea's visit to Rosamond, she had had
|
|
two nights of sound sleep, and had not only lost all traces of fatigue,
|
|
but felt as if she had a great deal of superfluous strength--
|
|
that is to say, more strength than she could manage to concentrate
|
|
on any occupation. The day before, she had taken long walks
|
|
outside the grounds, and had paid two visits to the Parsonage;
|
|
but she never in her life told any one the reason why she spent
|
|
her time in that fruitless manner, and this morning she was rather
|
|
angry with herself for her childish restlessness. To-day was to be
|
|
spent quite differently. What was there to be done in the village?
|
|
Oh dear! nothing. Everybody was well and had flannel; nobody's pig
|
|
had died; and it was Saturday morning, when there was a general
|
|
scrubbing of doors and door-stones, and when it was useless to go
|
|
into the school. But there were various subjects that Dorothea
|
|
was trying to get clear upon, and she resolved to throw herself
|
|
energetically into the gravest of all. She sat down in the library
|
|
before her particular little heap of books on political economy and
|
|
kindred matters, out of which she was trying to get light as to the
|
|
best way of spending money so as not to injure one's neighbors, or--
|
|
what comes to the same thing--so as to do them the most good.
|
|
Here was a weighty subject which, if she could but lay hold of it,
|
|
would certainly keep her mind steady. Unhappily her mind slipped
|
|
off it for a whole hour; and at the end she found herself reading
|
|
sentences twice over with an intense consciousness of many things,
|
|
but not of any one thing contained in the text. This was hopeless.
|
|
Should she order the carriage and drive to Tipton? No; for some
|
|
reason or other she preferred staying at Lowick. But her vagrant
|
|
mind must be reduced to order: there was an art in self-discipline;
|
|
and she walked round and round the brown library considering by
|
|
what sort of manoeuvre she could arrest her wandering thoughts.
|
|
Perhaps a mere task was the best means--something to which she
|
|
must go doggedly. Was there not the geography of Asia Minor,
|
|
in which her slackness had often been rebuked by Mr. Casaubon?
|
|
She went to the cabinet of maps and unrolled one: this morning
|
|
she might make herself finally sure that Paphlagonia was not on
|
|
the Levantine coast, and fix her total darkness about the Chalybes
|
|
firmly on the shores of the Euxine. A map was a fine thing to study
|
|
when you were disposed to think of something else, being made up
|
|
of names that would turn into a chime if you went back upon them.
|
|
Dorothea set earnestly to work, bending close to her map, and uttering
|
|
the names in an audible, subdued tone, which often got into a chime.
|
|
She looked amusingly girlish after all her deep experience--
|
|
nodding her head and marking the names off on her fingers,
|
|
with a little pursing of her lip, and now and then breaking off
|
|
to put her hands on each side of her face and say, "Oh dear!
|
|
oh dear!"
|
|
|
|
There was no reason why this should end any more than a merry-go-round;
|
|
but it was at last interrupted by the opening of the door and the
|
|
announcement of Miss Noble.
|
|
|
|
The little old lady, whose bonnet hardly reached Dorothea's shoulder,
|
|
was warmly welcomed, but while her hand was being pressed she made
|
|
many of her beaver-like noises, as if she had something difficult
|
|
to say.
|
|
|
|
"Do sit down," said Dorothea, rolling a chair forward. "Am I
|
|
wanted for anything? I shall be so glad if I can do anything."
|
|
|
|
"I will not stay," said Miss Noble, putting her hand into her small
|
|
basket, and holding some article inside it nervously; "I have left
|
|
a friend in the churchyard." She lapsed into her inarticulate sounds,
|
|
and unconsciously drew forth the article which she was fingering.
|
|
It was the tortoise-shell lozenge-box, and Dorothea felt the color
|
|
mounting to her cheeks.
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Ladislaw," continued the timid little woman. "He fears he
|
|
has offended you, and has begged me to ask if you will see him
|
|
for a few minutes."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea did not answer on the instant: it was crossing her mind
|
|
that she could not receive him in this library, where her husband's
|
|
prohibition seemed to dwell. She looked towards the window.
|
|
Could she go out and meet him in the grounds? The sky was heavy,
|
|
and the trees had begun to shiver as at a coming storm. Besides,
|
|
she shrank from going out to him.
|
|
|
|
"Do see him, Mrs. Casaubon," said Miss Noble, pathetically; "else I
|
|
must go back and say No, and that will hurt him."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I will see him," said Dorothea. "Pray tell him to come."
|
|
|
|
What else was there to be done? There was nothing that she longed
|
|
for at that moment except to see Will: the possibility of seeing him
|
|
had thrust itself insistently between her and every other object;
|
|
and yet she had a throbbing excitement like an alarm upon her--
|
|
a sense that she was doing something daringly defiant for his sake.
|
|
|
|
When the little lady had trotted away on her mission, Dorothea stood
|
|
in the middle of the library with her hands falling clasped
|
|
before her, making no attempt to compose herself in an attitude
|
|
of dignified unconsciousness. What she was least conscious of just
|
|
then was her own body: she was thinking of what was likely to be in
|
|
Will's mind, and of the hard feelings that others had had about him.
|
|
How could any duty bind her to hardness? Resistance to unjust
|
|
dispraise had mingled with her feeling for him from the very first,
|
|
and now in the rebound of her heart after her anguish the resistance
|
|
was stronger than ever. "If I love him too much it is because he
|
|
has been used so ill:"--there was a voice within her saying this
|
|
to some imagined audience in the library, when the door was opened,
|
|
and she saw Will before her.
|
|
|
|
She did not move, and he came towards her with more doubt and timidity
|
|
in his face than she had ever seen before. He was in a state
|
|
of uncertainty which made him afraid lest some look or word of his
|
|
should condemn him to a new distance from her; and Dorothea was afraid
|
|
of her OWN emotion. She looked as if there were a spell upon her,
|
|
keeping her motionless and hindering her from unclasping her hands,
|
|
while some intense, grave yearning was imprisoned within her eyes.
|
|
Seeing that she did not put out her hand as usual, Will paused
|
|
a yard from her and said with embarrassment, "I am so grateful
|
|
to you for seeing me."
|
|
|
|
"I wanted to see you," said Dorothea, having no other words at command.
|
|
It did not occur to her to sit down, and Will did not give
|
|
a cheerful interpretation to this queenly way of receiving him;
|
|
but he went on to say what he had made up his mind to say.
|
|
|
|
"I fear you think me foolish and perhaps wrong for coming back
|
|
so soon. I have been punished for my impatience. You know--
|
|
every one knows now---a painful story about my parentage. I knew
|
|
of it before I went away, and I always meant to tell you of it if--
|
|
if we ever met again."
|
|
|
|
There was a slight movement in Dorothea, and she unclasped her hands,
|
|
but immediately folded them over each other.
|
|
|
|
"But the affair is matter of gossip now," Will continued. "I wished
|
|
you to know that something connected with it--something which
|
|
happened before I went away, helped to bring me down here again.
|
|
At least I thought it excused my coming. It was the idea of getting
|
|
Bulstrode to apply some money to a public purpose--some money which
|
|
he had thought of giving me. Perhaps it is rather to Bulstrode's
|
|
credit that he privately offered me compensation for an old injury:
|
|
he offered to give me a good income to make amends; but I suppose
|
|
you know the disagreeable story?"
|
|
|
|
Will looked doubtfully at Dorothea, but his manner was gathering
|
|
some of the defiant courage with which he always thought of this
|
|
fact in his destiny. He added, "You know that it must be altogether
|
|
painful to me."
|
|
|
|
"Yes--yes--I know," said Dorothea, hastily.
|
|
|
|
"I did not choose to accept an income from such a source. I was
|
|
sure that you would not think well of me if I did so," said Will.
|
|
Why should he mind saying anything of that sort to her now?
|
|
She knew that he had avowed his love for her. "I felt that"--
|
|
he broke off, nevertheless.
|
|
|
|
"You acted as I should have expected you to act," said Dorothea,
|
|
her face brightening and her head becoming a little more erect on
|
|
its beautiful stem.
|
|
|
|
"I did not believe that you would let any circumstance of my birth
|
|
create a prejudice in you against me, though it was sure to do so
|
|
in others," said Will, shaking his head backward in his old way,
|
|
and looking with a grave appeal into her eyes.
|
|
|
|
"If it were a new hardship it would be a new reason for me to cling
|
|
to you," said Dorothea, fervidly. "Nothing could have changed
|
|
me but--"her heart was swelling, and it was difficult to go on;
|
|
she made a great effort over herself to say in a low tremulous voice,
|
|
"but thinking that you were different--not so good as I had believed
|
|
you to be."
|
|
|
|
"You are sure to believe me better than I am in everything but one,"
|
|
said Will, giving way to his own feeling in the evidence of hers.
|
|
"I mean, in my truth to you. When I thought you doubted of that,
|
|
I didn't care about anything that was left. I thought it was
|
|
all over with me, and there was nothing to try for--only things
|
|
to endure."
|
|
|
|
"I don't doubt you any longer," said Dorothea, putting out her hand;
|
|
a vague fear for him impelling her unutterable affection.
|
|
|
|
He took her hand and raised it to his lips with something like a sob.
|
|
But he stood with his hat and gloves in the other hand, and might
|
|
have done for the portrait of a Royalist. Still it was difficult
|
|
to loose the hand, and Dorothea, withdrawing it in a confusion
|
|
that distressed her, looked and moved away.
|
|
|
|
"See how dark the clouds have become, and how the trees are tossed,"
|
|
she said, walking towards the window, yet speaking and moving with
|
|
only a dim sense of what she was doing.
|
|
|
|
Will followed her at a little distance, and leaned against the tall back
|
|
of a leather chair, on which he ventured now to lay his hat and gloves,
|
|
and free himself from the intolerable durance of formality to which
|
|
he had been for the first time condemned in Dorothea's presence.
|
|
It must be confessed that he felt very happy at that moment leaning
|
|
on the chair. He was not much afraid of anything that she might feel now.
|
|
|
|
They stood silent, not looking at each other, but looking
|
|
at the evergreens which were being tossed, and were showing
|
|
the pale underside of their leaves against the blackening sky.
|
|
Will never enjoyed the prospect of a storm so much: it delivered
|
|
him from the necessity of going away. Leaves and little branches
|
|
were hurled about, and the thunder was getting nearer. The light
|
|
was more and more sombre, but there came a flash of lightning
|
|
which made them start and look at each other, and then smile.
|
|
Dorothea began to say what she had been thinking of.
|
|
|
|
"That was a wrong thing for you to say, that you would have
|
|
had nothing to try for. If we had lost our own chief good,
|
|
other people's good would remain, and that is worth trying for.
|
|
Some can be happy. I seemed to see that more clearly than ever,
|
|
when I was the most wretched. I can hardly think how I could have
|
|
borne the trouble, if that feeling had not come to me to make strength."
|
|
|
|
"You have never felt the sort of misery I felt," said Will;
|
|
"the misery of knowing that you must despise me."
|
|
|
|
"But I have felt worse--it was worse to think ill--" Dorothea
|
|
had begun impetuously, but broke off.
|
|
|
|
Will colored. He had the sense that whatever she said was uttered
|
|
in the vision of a fatality that kept them apart. He was silent
|
|
a moment, and then said passionately--
|
|
|
|
"We may at least have the comfort of speaking to each other
|
|
without disguise. Since I must go away--since we must always
|
|
be divided--you may think of me as one on the brink of the grave."
|
|
|
|
While he was speaking there came a vivid flash of lightning which lit
|
|
each of them up for the other--and the light seemed to be the terror
|
|
of a hopeless love. Dorothea darted instantaneously from the window;
|
|
Will followed her, seizing her hand with a spasmodic movement;
|
|
and so they stood, with their hands clasped, like two children,
|
|
looking out on the storm, while the thunder gave a tremendous crack
|
|
and roll above them, and the rain began to pour down. Then they
|
|
turned their faces towards each other, with the memory of his last
|
|
words in them, and they did not loose each other's hands.
|
|
|
|
"There is no hope for me," said Will. "Even if you loved
|
|
me as well as I love you--even if I were everything to you--
|
|
I shall most likely always be very poor: on a sober calculation,
|
|
one can count on nothing but a creeping lot. It is impossible
|
|
for us ever to belong to each other. It is perhaps base of me
|
|
to have asked for a word from you. I meant to go away into silence,
|
|
but I have not been able to do what I meant."
|
|
|
|
"Don't be sorry," said Dorothea, in her clear tender tones.
|
|
"I would rather share all the trouble of our parting."
|
|
|
|
Her lips trembled, and so did his. It was never known which lips were
|
|
the first to move towards the other lips; but they kissed tremblingly,
|
|
and then they moved apart.
|
|
|
|
The rain was dashing against the window-panes as if an angry spirit
|
|
were within it, and behind it was the great swoop of the wind;
|
|
it was one of those moments in which both the busy and the idle
|
|
pause with a certain awe.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea sat down on the seat nearest to her, a long low ottoman
|
|
in the middle of the room, and with her hands folded over each
|
|
other on her lap, looked at the drear outer world. Will stood
|
|
still an instant looking at her, then seated himself beside her,
|
|
and laid his hand on hers, which turned itself upward to be clasped.
|
|
They sat in that way without looking at each other, until the rain
|
|
abated and began to fall in stillness. Each had been full of thoughts
|
|
which neither of them could begin to utter.
|
|
|
|
But when the rain was quiet, Dorothea turned to look at Will.
|
|
With passionate exclamation, as if some torture screw were
|
|
threatening him, he started up and said, "It is impossible!"
|
|
|
|
He went and leaned on the back of the chair again, and seemed to be
|
|
battling with his own anger, while she looked towards him sadly.
|
|
|
|
"It is as fatal as a murder or any other horror that divides people,"
|
|
he burst out again; "it is more intolerable--to have our life maimed
|
|
by petty accidents."
|
|
|
|
"No--don't say that--your life need not be maimed," said Dorothea, gently.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, it must," said Will, angrily. "It is cruel of you to speak
|
|
in that way--as if there were any comfort. You may see beyond
|
|
the misery of it, but I don't. It is unkind--it is throwing back
|
|
my love for you as if it were a trifle, to speak in that way
|
|
in the face of the fact. We can never be married."
|
|
|
|
"Some time--we might," said Dorothea, in a trembling voice.
|
|
|
|
"When?" said Will, bitterly. "What is the use of counting on
|
|
any success of mine? It is a mere toss up whether I shall ever
|
|
do more than keep myself decently, unless I choose to sell myself
|
|
as a mere pen and a mouthpiece. I can see that clearly enough.
|
|
I could not offer myself to any woman, even if she had no luxuries
|
|
to renounce."
|
|
|
|
There was silence. Dorothea's heart was full of something that she
|
|
wanted to say, and yet the words were too difficult. She was wholly
|
|
possessed by them: at that moment debate was mute within her.
|
|
And it was very hard that she could not say what she wanted to say.
|
|
Will was looking out of the window angrily. If he would have looked
|
|
at her and not gone away from her side, she thought everything
|
|
would have been easier. At last he turned, still resting against
|
|
the chair, and stretching his hand automatically towards his hat,
|
|
said with a sort of exasperation, "Good-by."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I cannot bear it--my heart will break," said Dorothea,
|
|
starting from her seat, the flood of her young passion bearing down
|
|
all the obstructions which had kept her silent--the great tears
|
|
rising and falling in an instant:"I don't mind about poverty--
|
|
I hate my wealth."
|
|
|
|
In an instant Will was close to her and had his arms round her,
|
|
but she drew her head back and held his away gently that she might go
|
|
on speaking, her large tear-filled eyes looking at his very simply,
|
|
while she said in a sobbing childlike way, "We could live quite
|
|
well on my own fortune--it is too much--seven hundred a-year--I want
|
|
so little--no new clothes--and I will learn what everything costs."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXXXIV.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Though it be songe of old and yonge,
|
|
That I sholde be to blame,
|
|
Theyrs be the charge, that spoke so large
|
|
In hurtynge of my name."
|
|
--The Not-browne Mayde.
|
|
|
|
|
|
It was just after the Lords had thrown out the Reform Bill:
|
|
that explains how Mr. Cadwallader came to be walking on the
|
|
slope of the lawn near the great conservatory at Freshitt Hall,
|
|
holding the "Times" in his hands behind him, while he talked
|
|
with a trout-fisher's dispassionateness about the prospects
|
|
of the country to Sir James Chettam. Mrs. Cadwallader,
|
|
the Dowager Lady Chettam, and Celia were sometimes seated on
|
|
garden-chairs, sometimes walking to meet little Arthur, who was
|
|
being drawn in his chariot, and, as became the infantine Bouddha,
|
|
was sheltered by his sacred umbrella with handsome silken fringe.
|
|
|
|
The ladies also talked politics, though more fitfully.
|
|
Mrs. Cadwallader was strong on the intended creation of peers:
|
|
she had it for certain from her cousin that Truberry had gone
|
|
over to the other side entirely at the instigation of his wife,
|
|
who had scented peerages in the air from the very first introduction
|
|
of the Reform question, and would sign her soul away to take precedence
|
|
of her younger sister, who had married a baronet. Lady Chettam
|
|
thought that such conduct was very reprehensible, and remembered
|
|
that Mrs. Truberry's mother was a Miss Walsingham of Melspring.
|
|
Celia confessed it was nicer to be "Lady" than "Mrs.," and that Dodo
|
|
never minded about precedence if she could have her own way.
|
|
Mrs. Cadwallader held that it was a poor satisfaction to take
|
|
precedence when everybody about you knew that you had not a drop
|
|
of good blood in your veins; and Celia again, stopping to look
|
|
at Arthur, said, "It would be very nice, though, if he were a Viscount--
|
|
and his lordship's little tooth coming through! He might have been,
|
|
if James had been an Earl."
|
|
|
|
"My dear Celia," said the Dowager, "James's title is worth far more
|
|
than any new earldom. I never wished his father to be anything
|
|
else than Sir James."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I only meant about Arthur's little tooth," said Celia,
|
|
comfortably. "But see, here is my uncle coming."
|
|
|
|
She tripped off to meet her uncle, while Sir James and Mr. Cadwallader
|
|
came forward to make one group with the ladies. Celia had slipped
|
|
her arm through her uncle's, and he patted her hand with a rather
|
|
melancholy "Well, my dear!" As they approached, it was evident
|
|
that Mr. Brooke was looking dejected, but this was fully accounted
|
|
for by the state of politics; and as he was shaking hands all round
|
|
without more greeting than a "Well, you're all here, you know,"
|
|
the Rector said, laughingly--
|
|
|
|
"Don't take the throwing out of the Bill so much to heart, Brooke;
|
|
you've got all the riff-raff of the country on your side."
|
|
|
|
"The Bill, eh? ah!" said Mr. Brooke, with a mild distractedness
|
|
of manner. "Thrown out, you know, eh? The Lords are going
|
|
too far, though. They'll have to pull up. Sad news, you know.
|
|
I mean, here at home--sad news. But you must not blame me, Chettam."
|
|
|
|
"What is the matter?" said Sir James. "Not another gamekeeper shot,
|
|
I hope? It's what I should expect, when a fellow like Trapping Bass
|
|
is let off so easily."
|
|
|
|
"Gamekeeper? No. Let us go in; I can tell you all in the house,
|
|
you know," said Mr. Brooke, nodding at the Cadwalladers, to show
|
|
that he included them in his confidence. "As to poachers like
|
|
Trapping Bass, you know, Chettam," he continued, as they were entering,
|
|
"when you are a magistrate, you'll not find it so easy to commit.
|
|
Severity is all very well, but it's a great deal easier when you've
|
|
got somebody to do it for you. You have a soft place in your
|
|
heart yourself, you know--you're not a Draco, a Jeffreys, that sort
|
|
of thing."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke was evidently in a state of nervous perturbation.
|
|
When he had something painful to tell, it was usually his way
|
|
to introduce it among a number of disjointed particulars, as if it
|
|
were a medicine that would get a milder flavor by mixing He continued
|
|
his chat with Sir James about the poachers until they were all seated,
|
|
and Mrs. Cadwallader, impatient of this drivelling, said--
|
|
|
|
"I'm dying to know the sad news. The gamekeeper is not shot:
|
|
that is settled. What is it, then?"
|
|
|
|
"Well, it's a very trying thing, you know," said Mr. Brooke.
|
|
"I'm glad you and the Rector are here; it's a family matter--
|
|
but you will help us all to bear it, Cadwallader. I've got
|
|
to break it to you, my dear." Here Mr. Brooke looked at Celia--
|
|
"You've no notion what it is, you know. And, Chettam, it will annoy
|
|
you uncommonly--but, you see, you have not been able to hinder it,
|
|
any more than I have. There's something singular in things:
|
|
they come round, you know."
|
|
|
|
"It must be about Dodo," said Celia, who had been used to think
|
|
of her sister as the dangerous part of the family machinery.
|
|
She had seated herself on a low stool against her husband's knee.
|
|
|
|
"For God's sake let us hear what it is!" said Sir James.
|
|
|
|
"Well, you know, Chettam, I couldn't help Casaubon's will:
|
|
it was a sort of will to make things worse."
|
|
|
|
"Exactly," said Sir James, hastily. "But WHAT is worse?"
|
|
|
|
"Dorothea is going to be married again, you know," said Mr. Brooke,
|
|
nodding towards Celia, who immediately looked up at her husband
|
|
with a frightened glance, and put her hand on his knee. Sir James
|
|
was almost white with anger, but he did not speak.
|
|
|
|
"Merciful heaven!" said Mrs. Cadwallader. "Not to YOUNG Ladislaw?"
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke nodded, saying, "Yes; to Ladislaw," and then fell into
|
|
a prudential silence.
|
|
|
|
"You see, Humphrey!" said Mrs. Cadwallader, waving her arm towards
|
|
her husband. "Another time you will admit that I have some foresight;
|
|
or rather you will contradict me and be just as blind as ever.
|
|
YOU supposed that the young gentleman was gone out of the country."
|
|
|
|
"So he might be, and yet come back," said the Rector, quietly
|
|
|
|
"When did you learn this?" said Sir James, not liking to hear
|
|
any one else speak, though finding it difficult to speak himself.
|
|
|
|
"Yesterday," said Mr. Brooke, meekly. "I went to Lowick.
|
|
Dorothea sent for me, you know. It had come about quite suddenly--
|
|
neither of them had any idea two days ago--not any idea, you know.
|
|
There's something singular in things. But Dorothea is quite
|
|
determined--it is no use opposing. I put it strongly to her.
|
|
I did my duty, Chettam. But she can act as she likes, you know."
|
|
|
|
"It would have been better if I had called him out and shot
|
|
him a year ago," said Sir James, not from bloody-mindedness,
|
|
but because he needed something strong to say.
|
|
|
|
"Really, James, that would have been very disagreeable," said Celia.
|
|
|
|
"Be reasonable, Chettam. Look at the affair more quietly,"
|
|
said Mr. Cadwallader, sorry to see his good-natured friend
|
|
so overmastered by anger.
|
|
|
|
"That is not so very easy for a man of any dignity--with any
|
|
sense of right--when the affair happens to be in his own family,"
|
|
said Sir James, still in his white indignation. "It is
|
|
perfectly scandalous. If Ladislaw had had a spark of honor he would
|
|
have gone out of the country at once, and never shown his face
|
|
in it again. However, I am not surprised. The day after Casaubon's
|
|
funeral I said what ought to be done. But I was not listened to."
|
|
|
|
"You wanted what was impossible, you know, Chettam," said Mr. Brooke.
|
|
"You wanted him shipped off. I told you Ladislaw was not to be done
|
|
as we liked with: he had his ideas. He was a remarkable fellow--
|
|
I always said he was a remarkable fellow."
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said Sir James, unable to repress a retort, "it is rather
|
|
a pity you formed that high opinion of him. We are indebted to that
|
|
for his being lodged in this neighborhood. We are indebted to that
|
|
for seeing a woman like Dorothea degrading herself by marrying him."
|
|
Sir James made little stoppages between his clauses, the words
|
|
not coming easily. "A man so marked out by her husband's will,
|
|
that delicacy ought to have forbidden her from seeing him again--
|
|
who takes her out of her proper rank--into poverty--has the meanness
|
|
to accept such a sacrifice--has always had an objectionable position--
|
|
a bad origin--and, I BELIEVE, is a man of little principle and
|
|
light character. That is my opinion." Sir James ended emphatically,
|
|
turning aside and crossing his leg.
|
|
|
|
"I pointed everything out to her," said Mr. Brooke, apologetically--
|
|
"I mean the poverty, and abandoning her position. I said, `My dear,
|
|
you don't know what it is to live on seven hundred a-year,
|
|
and have no carriage, and that kind of thing, and go amongst
|
|
people who don't know who you are.' I put it strongly to her.
|
|
But I advise you to talk to Dorothea herself. The fact is, she has
|
|
a dislike to Casaubon's property. You will hear what she says,
|
|
you know."
|
|
|
|
"No--excuse me--I shall not," said Sir James, with more coolness.
|
|
"I cannot bear to see her again; it is too painful. It hurts me too
|
|
much that a woman like Dorothea should have done what is wrong."
|
|
|
|
"Be just, Chettam," said the easy, large-lipped Rector,
|
|
who objected to all this unnecessary discomfort. "Mrs. Casaubon
|
|
may be acting imprudently: she is giving up a fortune for the sake
|
|
of a man, and we men have so poor an opinion of each other that we
|
|
can hardly call a woman wise who does that. But I think you should
|
|
not condemn it as a wrong action, in the strict sense of the word."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I do," answered Sir James. "I think that Dorothea commits
|
|
a wrong action in marrying Ladislaw."
|
|
|
|
"My dear fellow, we are rather apt to consider an act wrong because
|
|
it is unpleasant to us," said the Rector, quietly. Like many men
|
|
who take life easily, he had the knack of saying a home truth
|
|
occasionally to those who felt themselves virtuously out of temper.
|
|
Sir James took out his handkerchief and began to bite the corner.
|
|
|
|
"It is very dreadful of Dodo, though," said Celia, wishing to
|
|
justify her husband. "She said she NEVER WOULD marry again--
|
|
not anybody at all."
|
|
|
|
"I heard her say the same thing myself," said Lady Chettam,
|
|
majestically, as if this were royal evidence.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, there is usually a silent exception in such cases,"
|
|
said Mrs. Cadwallader. "The only wonder to me is, that any of
|
|
you are surprised. You did nothing to hinder it. If you would
|
|
have had Lord Triton down here to woo her with his philanthropy,
|
|
he might have carried her off before the year was over. There was
|
|
no safety in anything else. Mr. Casaubon had prepared all this
|
|
as beautifully as possible. He made himself disagreeable--or it
|
|
pleased God to make him so--and then he dared her to contradict him.
|
|
It's the way to make any trumpery tempting, to ticket it at a high
|
|
price in that way."
|
|
|
|
"I don't know what you mean by wrong, Cadwallader," said Sir James,
|
|
still feeling a little stung, and turning round in his chair
|
|
towards the Rector. "He's not a man we can take into the family.
|
|
At least, I must speak for myself," he continued, carefully keeping
|
|
his eyes off Mr. Brooke. "I suppose others will find his society
|
|
too pleasant to care about the propriety of the thing."
|
|
|
|
"Well, you know, Chettam," said Mr. Brooke, good-humoredly, nursing
|
|
his leg, "I can't turn my back on Dorothea. I must be a father
|
|
to her up to a certain point. I said, `My dear, I won't refuse
|
|
to give you away.' I had spoken strongly before. But I can cut
|
|
off the entail, you know. It will cost money and be troublesome;
|
|
but I can do it, you know."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke nodded at Sir James, and felt that he was both showing
|
|
his own force of resolution and propitiating what was just in the
|
|
Baronet's vexation. He had hit on a more ingenious mode of parrying than
|
|
he was aware of. He had touched a motive of which Sir James was ashamed.
|
|
The mass of his feeling about Dorothea's marriage to Ladislaw was
|
|
due partly to excusable prejudice, or even justifiable opinion,
|
|
partly to a jealous repugnance hardly less in Ladislaw's case
|
|
than in Casaubon's. He was convinced that the marriage was a fatal
|
|
one for Dorothea. But amid that mass ran a vein of which he was
|
|
too good and honorable a man to like the avowal even to himself:
|
|
it was undeniable that the union of the two estates--Tipton and Freshitt--
|
|
lying charmingly within a ring-fence, was a prospect that flattered
|
|
him for his son and heir. Hence when Mr. Brooke noddingly appealed
|
|
to that motive, Sir James felt a sudden embarrassment; there was
|
|
a stoppage in his throat; he even blushed. He had found more words
|
|
than usual in the first jet of his anger, but Mr. Brooke's propitiation
|
|
was more clogging to his tongue than Mr. Cadwallader's caustic hint.
|
|
|
|
But Celia was glad to have room for speech after her uncle's suggestion
|
|
of the marriage ceremony, and she said, though with as little eagerness
|
|
of manner as if the question had turned on an invitation to dinner,
|
|
"Do you mean that Dodo is going to be married directly, uncle?"
|
|
|
|
"In three weeks, you know," said Mr. Brooke, helplessly. "I can do
|
|
nothing to hinder it, Cadwallader," he added, turning for a little
|
|
countenance toward the Rector, who said--
|
|
|
|
"--I--should not make any fuss about it. If she likes to be poor,
|
|
that is her affair. Nobody would have said anything if she had
|
|
married the young fellow because he was rich. Plenty of beneficed
|
|
clergy are poorer than they will be. Here is Elinor," continued the
|
|
provoking husband; "she vexed her friends by me: I had hardly
|
|
a thousand a-year--I was a lout--nobody could see anything in me--
|
|
my shoes were not the right cut--all the men wondered how a woman
|
|
could like me. Upon my word, I must take Ladislaw's part until I
|
|
hear more harm of him."
|
|
|
|
"Humphrey, that is all sophistry, and you know it," said his wife.
|
|
"Everything is all one--that is the beginning and end with you.
|
|
As if you had not been a Cadwallader! Does any one suppose that I
|
|
would have taken such a monster as you by any other name?"
|
|
|
|
"And a clergyman too," observed Lady Chettam with approbation.
|
|
"Elinor cannot be said to have descended below her rank. It is
|
|
difficult to say what Mr. Ladislaw is, eh, James?"
|
|
|
|
Sir James gave a small grunt, which was less respectful than
|
|
his usual mode of answering his mother. Celia looked up at him
|
|
like a thoughtful kitten.
|
|
|
|
"It must be admitted that his blood is a frightful mixture!"
|
|
said Mrs. Cadwallader. "The Casaubon cuttle-fish fluid to begin with,
|
|
and then a rebellious Polish fiddler or dancing-master, was it?--
|
|
and then an old clo--"
|
|
|
|
"Nonsense, Elinor," said the Rector, rising. "It is time for us
|
|
to go."
|
|
|
|
"After all, he is a pretty sprig," said Mrs. Cadwallader, rising too,
|
|
and wishing to make amends. "He is like the fine old Crichley
|
|
portraits before the idiots came in."
|
|
|
|
"I'll go with you," said Mr. Brooke, starting up with alacrity.
|
|
"You must all come and dine with me to-morrow, you know--eh, Celia,
|
|
my dear?"
|
|
|
|
"You will, James--won't you?" said Celia, taking her husband's hand.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, of course, if you like," said Sir James, pulling down his waistcoat,
|
|
but unable yet to adjust his face good-humoredly. "That is to say,
|
|
if it is not to meet anybody else.':
|
|
|
|
"No, no, no," said Mr. Brooke, understanding the condition.
|
|
"Dorothea would not come, you know, unless you had been to see her."
|
|
|
|
When Sir James and Celia were alone, she said, "Do you mind about
|
|
my having the carriage to go to, Lowick, James?"
|
|
|
|
"What, now, directly?" he answered, with some surprise.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, it is very important," said Celia.
|
|
|
|
"Remember, Celia, I cannot see her," said Sir James.
|
|
|
|
"Not if she gave up marrying?"
|
|
|
|
"What is the use of saying that?--however, I'm going to the stables.
|
|
I'll tell Briggs to bring the carriage round."
|
|
|
|
Celia thought it was of great use, if not to say that, at least
|
|
to take a journey to Lowick in order to influence Dorothea's mind.
|
|
All through their girlhood she had felt that she could act on
|
|
her sister by a word judiciously placed--by opening a little
|
|
window for the daylight of her own understanding to enter among
|
|
the strange colored lamps by which Dodo habitually saw. And Celia
|
|
the matron naturally felt more able to advise her childless sister.
|
|
How could any one understand Dodo so well as Celia did or love her
|
|
so tenderly?
|
|
|
|
Dorothea, busy in her boudoir, felt a glow of pleasure at the sight
|
|
of her sister so soon after the revelation of her intended marriage.
|
|
She had prefigured to herself, even with exaggeration, the disgust
|
|
of her friends, and she had even feared that Celia might be kept
|
|
aloof from her.
|
|
|
|
"O Kitty, I am delighted to see you!" said Dorothea, putting her
|
|
hands on Celia's shoulders, and beaming on her. "I almost thought
|
|
you would not come to me."
|
|
|
|
"I have not brought Arthur, because I was in a hurry," said Celia,
|
|
and they sat down on two small chairs opposite each other,
|
|
with their knees touching.
|
|
|
|
"You know, Dodo, it is very bad," said Celia, in her placid guttural,
|
|
looking as prettily free from humors as possible. "You have disappointed
|
|
us all so. And I can't think that it ever WILL be--you never
|
|
can go and live in that way. And then there are all your plans!
|
|
You never can have thought of that. James would have taken any trouble
|
|
for you, and you might have gone on all your life doing what you liked."
|
|
|
|
"On the contrary, dear," said Dorothea, "I never could do anything
|
|
that I liked. I have never carried out any plan yet."
|
|
|
|
"Because you always wanted things that wouldn't do. But other plans
|
|
would have come. And how can you marry Mr. Ladislaw, that we none of us
|
|
ever thought you COULD marry? It shocks James so dreadfully.
|
|
And then it is all so different from what you have always been.
|
|
You would have Mr. Casaubon because he had such a great soul,
|
|
and was so and dismal and learned; and now, to think of marrying
|
|
Mr. Ladislaw, who has got no estate or anything. I suppose it
|
|
is because you must be making yourself uncomfortable in some way
|
|
or other."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea laughed.
|
|
|
|
"Well, it is very serious, Dodo," said Celia, becoming more impressive.
|
|
"How will you live? and you will go away among queer people.
|
|
And I shall never see you--and you won't mind about little Arthur--
|
|
and I thought you always would--"
|
|
|
|
Celia's rare tears had got into her eyes, and the corners of her
|
|
mouth were agitated.
|
|
|
|
"Dear Celia," said Dorothea, with tender gravity, "if you don't
|
|
ever see me, it will not be my fault."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, it will," said Celia, with the same touching distortion
|
|
of her small features. "How can I come to you or have you with me
|
|
when James can't bear it?--that is because he thinks it is not right--
|
|
he thinks you are so wrong, Dodo. But you always were wrong: only I
|
|
can't help loving you. And nobody can think where you will live:
|
|
where can you go?"
|
|
|
|
"I am going to London," said Dorothea.
|
|
|
|
"How can you always live in a street? And you will be so poor.
|
|
I could give you half my things, only how can I, when I never
|
|
see you?"
|
|
|
|
"Bless you, Kitty," said Dorothea, with gentle warmth. "Take comfort:
|
|
perhaps James will forgive me some time."
|
|
|
|
"But it would be much better if you would not be married," said Celia,
|
|
drying her eyes, and returning to her argument; "then there would
|
|
be nothing uncomfortable. And you would not do what nobody thought
|
|
you could do. James always said you ought to be a queen; but this
|
|
is not at all being like a queen. You know what mistakes you
|
|
have always been making, Dodo, and this is another. Nobody thinks
|
|
Mr. Ladislaw a proper husband for you. And you SAID YOU would
|
|
never be married again."
|
|
|
|
"It is quite true that I might be a wiser person, Celia," said Dorothea,
|
|
"and that I might have done something better, if I had been better.
|
|
But this is what I am going to do. I have promised to marry
|
|
Mr. Ladislaw; and I am going to marry him."
|
|
|
|
The tone in which Dorothea said this was a note that Celia had long
|
|
learned to recognize. She was silent a few moments, and then said,
|
|
as if she had dismissed all contest, "Is he very fond of you, Dodo?"
|
|
|
|
"I hope so. I am very fond of him."
|
|
|
|
"That is nice," said Celia, comfortably. "Only I rather you had such
|
|
a sort of husband as James is, with a place very near, that I could
|
|
drive to."
|
|
|
|
Dorothea smiled, and Celia looked rather meditative.
|
|
Presently she said, "I cannot think how it all came about."
|
|
Celia thought it would be pleasant to hear the story.
|
|
|
|
"I dare say not," said-Dorothea, pinching her sister's chin.
|
|
"If you knew how it came about, it would not seem wonderful to you."
|
|
|
|
"Can't you tell me?" said Celia, settling her arms cozily.
|
|
|
|
"No, dear, you would have to feel with me, else you would never know."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LIXXV.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Then went the jury out whose names were Mr. Blindman, Mr. No-good,
|
|
Mr. Malice, Mr. Love-lust, Mr. Live-loose, Mr. Heady, Mr. High-mind,
|
|
Mr. Enmity, Mr. Liar, Mr. Cruelty, Mr. Hate-light, Mr. Implacable,
|
|
who every one gave in his private verdict against him among themselves,
|
|
and afterwards unanimously concluded to bring him in guilty
|
|
before the judge. And first among themselves, Mr. Blindman,
|
|
the foreman, said, I see clearly that this man is a heretic.
|
|
Then said Mr. No-good, Away with such a fellow from the earth!
|
|
Ay, said Mr. Malice, for I hate the very look of him. Then said
|
|
Mr. Love-lust, I could never endure him. Nor I, said Mr. Live-loose;
|
|
for he would be always condemning my way. Hang him, hang him,
|
|
said Mr. Heady. A sorry scrub, said Mr. High-mind. My heart riseth
|
|
against him, said Mr. Enmity. He is a rogue, said Mr. Liar.
|
|
Hanging is too good for him, said Mr. Cruelty. Let us despatch
|
|
him out of the way said Mr. Hate-light. Then said Mr. Implacable,
|
|
Might I have all the world given me, I could not be reconciled to him;
|
|
therefore let us forthwith bring him in guilty of death."
|
|
--Pilgrim's Progress.
|
|
|
|
|
|
When immortal Bunyan makes his picture of the persecuting passions
|
|
bringing in their verdict of guilty, who pities Faithful?
|
|
That is a rare and blessed lot which some greatest men have
|
|
not attained, to know ourselves guiltless before a condemning crowd--
|
|
to be sure that what we are denounced for is solely the good in us.
|
|
The pitiable lot is that of the man who could not call himself a martyr
|
|
even though he were to persuade himself that the men who stoned
|
|
him were but ugly passions incarnate--who knows that he is stoned,
|
|
not for professing the Right, but for not being the man he professed
|
|
to be.
|
|
|
|
This was the consciousness that Bulstrode was withering under while he
|
|
made his preparations for departing from Middlemarch, and going to end
|
|
his stricken life in that sad refuge, the indifference of new faces.
|
|
The duteous merciful constancy of his wife had delivered him from
|
|
one dread, but it could not hinder her presence from being still a
|
|
tribunal before which he shrank from confession and desired advocacy.
|
|
His equivocations with himself about the death of Raffles had
|
|
sustained the conception of an Omniscience whom he prayed to,
|
|
yet he had a terror upon him which would not let him expose them
|
|
to judgment by a full confession to his wife: the acts which he had
|
|
washed and diluted with inward argument and motive, and for which it
|
|
seemed comparatively easy to win invisible pardon--what name would
|
|
she call them by? That she should ever silently call his acts
|
|
Murder was what he could not bear. He felt shrouded by her doubt:
|
|
he got strength to face her from the sense that she could not yet
|
|
feel warranted in pronouncing that worst condemnation on him.
|
|
Some time, perhaps--when he was dying--he would tell her all:
|
|
in the deep shadow of that time, when she held his hand in the
|
|
gathering darkness, she might listen without recoiling from
|
|
his touch. Perhaps: but concealment had been the habit of his life,
|
|
and the impulse to confession had no power against the dread
|
|
of a deeper humiliation.
|
|
|
|
He was full of timid care for his wife, not only because he
|
|
deprecated any harshness of judgment from her, but because he
|
|
felt a deep distress at the sight of her suffering. She had
|
|
sent her daughters away to board at a school on the coast,
|
|
that this crisis might be hidden from them as far as possible.
|
|
Set free by their absence from the intolerable necessity of
|
|
accounting for her grief or of beholding their frightened wonder,
|
|
she could live unconstrainedly with the sorrow that was every
|
|
day streaking her hair with whiteness and making her eyelids languid.
|
|
|
|
"Tell me anything that you would like to have me do, Harriet,"
|
|
Bulstrode had said to her; "I mean with regard to arrangements
|
|
of property. It is my intention not to sell the land I possess
|
|
in this neighborhood, but to leave it to you as a safe provision.
|
|
If you have any wish on such subjects, do not conceal it from me."
|
|
|
|
A few days afterwards, when she had returned from a visit to
|
|
her brother's, she began to speak to her husband on a subject
|
|
which had for some time been in her mind.
|
|
|
|
"I SHOULD like to do something for my brother's family,
|
|
Nicholas; and I think we are bound to make some amends to Rosamond
|
|
and her husband. Walter says Mr. Lydgate must leave the town,
|
|
and his practice is almost good for nothing, and they have very little
|
|
left to settle anywhere with. I would rather do without something
|
|
for ourselves, to make some amends to my poor brother's family."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Bulstrode did not wish to go nearer to the facts than in the phrase
|
|
"make some amends;" knowing that her husband must understand her.
|
|
He had a particular reason, which she was not aware of, for wincing
|
|
under her suggestion. He hesitated before he said--
|
|
|
|
"It is not possible to carry out your wish in the way you propose,
|
|
my dear. Mr. Lydgate has virtually rejected any further service
|
|
from me. He has returned the thousand pounds which I lent him.
|
|
Mrs. Casaubon advanced him the sum for that purpose. Here is
|
|
his letter."
|
|
|
|
The letter seemed to cut Mrs. Bulstrode severely. The mention of
|
|
Mrs. Casaubon's loan seemed a reflection of that public feeling which
|
|
held it a matter of course that every one would avoid a connection
|
|
with her husband. She was silent for some time; and the tears fell
|
|
one after the other, her chin trembling as she wiped them away.
|
|
Bulstrode, sitting opposite to her, ached at the sight of that
|
|
grief-worn face, which two months before had been bright and blooming.
|
|
It had aged to keep sad company with his own withered features.
|
|
Urged into some effort at comforting her, he said--
|
|
|
|
"There is another means, Harriet, by which I might do a service
|
|
to your brother's family, if you like to act in it. And it would,
|
|
I think, be beneficial to you: it would be an advantageous way
|
|
of managing the land which I mean to be yours."
|
|
|
|
She looked attentive.
|
|
|
|
"Garth once thought of undertaking the management of Stone Court
|
|
in order to place your nephew Fred there. The stock was to remain
|
|
as it is, and they were to pay a certain share of the profits
|
|
instead of an ordinary rent. That would be a desirable beginning
|
|
for the young man, in conjunction with his employment under Garth.
|
|
Would it be a satisfaction to you?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, it would," said Mrs. Bulstrode, with some return of energy.
|
|
"Poor Walter is so cast down; I would try anything in my power
|
|
to do him some good before I go away. We have always been brother
|
|
and sister."
|
|
|
|
"You must make the proposal to Garth yourself, Harriet,"
|
|
said Mr. Bulstrode, not liking what he had to say, but desiring
|
|
the end he had in view, for other reasons besides the consolation
|
|
of his wife. "You must state to him that the land is virtually yours,
|
|
and that he need have no transactions with me. Communications can
|
|
be made through Standish. I mention this, because Garth gave
|
|
up being my agent. I can put into your hands a paper which he
|
|
himself drew up, stating conditions; and you can propose his
|
|
renewed acceptance of them. I think it is not unlikely that
|
|
he will accept when you propose the thing for the sake of your nephew."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER LXXXVI.
|
|
|
|
|
|
"Le coeur se sature d'amour comme d'un sel divin qui le conserve;
|
|
de la l'incorruptible adherence de ceux qui se sont aimes des
|
|
l'aube de la vie, et la fraicheur des vielles amours prolonges.
|
|
Il existe un embaumement d'amour. C'est de Daphnis et Chloe
|
|
que sont faits Philemon et Baucis. Cette vieillesse la,
|
|
ressemblance du soir avec l'aurore."
|
|
--VICTOR HUGO: L'homme qui rit.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Garth, hearing Caleb enter the passage about tea-time, opened
|
|
the parlor-door and said, "There you are, Caleb. Have you had
|
|
your dinner?" (Mr. Garth's meals were much subordinated to "business.")
|
|
|
|
"Oh yes, a good dinner--cold mutton and I don't know what.
|
|
Where is Mary?"
|
|
|
|
"In the garden with Letty, I think."
|
|
|
|
"Fred is not come yet?"
|
|
|
|
"No. Are you going out again without taking tea, Caleb?"
|
|
said Mrs. Garth, seeing that her absent-minded husband
|
|
was putting on again the hat which he had just taken off.
|
|
|
|
"No, no; I'm only going to Mary a minute."
|
|
|
|
Mary was in a grassy corner of the garden, where there was a swing
|
|
loftily hung between two pear-trees. She had a pink kerchief tied
|
|
over her head, making a little poke to shade her eyes from the
|
|
level sunbeams, while she was giving a glorious swing to Letty,
|
|
who laughed and screamed wildly.
|
|
|
|
Seeing her father, Mary left the swing and went to meet him,
|
|
pushing back the pink kerchief and smiling afar off at him with
|
|
the involuntary smile of loving pleasure.
|
|
|
|
"I came to look for you, Mary," said Mr. Garth. "Let us-walk
|
|
about a bit." Mary knew quite well that her father had something
|
|
particular to say: his eyebrows made their pathetic angle,
|
|
and there was a tender gravity in his voice: these things had been
|
|
signs to her when she was Letty's age. She put her arm within his,
|
|
and they turned by the row of nut-trees.
|
|
|
|
"It will be a sad while before you can be married, Mary," said her father,
|
|
not looking at her, but at the end of the stick which he held in his other
|
|
hand.
|
|
|
|
"Not a sad while, father--I mean to be merry," said Mary,
|
|
laughingly. "I have been single and merry for four-and-twenty
|
|
years and more: I suppose it will not be quite as long again
|
|
as that." Then, after a little pause, she said, more gravely,
|
|
bending her face before her father's, "If you are contented with Fred?"
|
|
|
|
Caleb screwed up his mouth and turned his head aside wisely.
|
|
|
|
"Now, father, you did praise him last Wednesday. You said he
|
|
had an uncommon notion of stock, and a good eye for things."
|
|
|
|
"Did I?" said Caleb, rather slyly.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I put it all down, and the date, anno Domini, and everything,"
|
|
said Mary. "You like things to be neatly booked. And then his
|
|
behavior to you, father, is really good; he has a deep respect for you;
|
|
and it is impossible to have a better temper than Fred has."
|
|
|
|
"Ay, ay; you want to coax me into thinking him a fine match."
|
|
|
|
"No, indeed, father. I don't love him because he is a fine match."
|
|
|
|
"What for, then?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, dear, because I have always loved him. I should never like
|
|
scolding any one else so well; and that is a point to be thought
|
|
of in a husband."
|
|
|
|
"Your mind is quite settled, then, Mary?" said Caleb, returning to
|
|
his first tone. "There's no other wish come into it since things
|
|
have been going on as they have been of late?" (Caleb meant a great
|
|
deal in that vague phrase;) "because, better late than never.
|
|
A woman must not force her heart--she'll do a man no good by that."
|
|
|
|
"My feelings have not changed, father," said Mary, calmly.
|
|
"I shall be constant to Fred as long as he is constant to me.
|
|
I don't think either of us could spare the other, or like any one
|
|
else better, however much we might admire them. It would make too
|
|
great a difference to us--like seeing all the old places altered,
|
|
and changing the name for everything. We must wait for each other
|
|
a long while; but Fred knows that."
|
|
|
|
Instead of speaking immediately, Caleb stood still and screwed his
|
|
stick on the grassy walk. Then he said, with emotion in his voice,
|
|
"Well, I've got a bit of news. What do you think of Fred going
|
|
to live at Stone Court, and managing the land there?"
|
|
|
|
"How can that ever be, father?" said Mary, wonderingly.
|
|
|
|
"He would manage it for his aunt Bulstrode. The poor woman has
|
|
been to me begging and praying. She wants to do the lad good,
|
|
and it might be a fine thing for him. With saving, he might gradually
|
|
buy the stock, and he has a turn for farming."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, Fred would be so happy! It is too good to believe."
|
|
|
|
"Ah, but mind you," said Caleb, turning his head warningly, "I must take
|
|
it on MY shoulders, and be responsible, and see after everything;
|
|
and that will grieve your mother a bit, though she mayn't say so.
|
|
Fred had need be careful."
|
|
|
|
"Perhaps it is too much, father," said Mary, checked in her joy.
|
|
"There would be no happiness in bringing you any fresh trouble."
|
|
|
|
"Nay, nay; work is my delight, child, when it doesn't vex your mother.
|
|
And then, if you and Fred get married," here Caleb's voice shook
|
|
just perceptibly, "he'll be steady and saving; and you've got
|
|
your mother's cleverness, and mine too, in a woman's sort of way;
|
|
and you'll keep him in order. He'll be coming by-and-by, so I
|
|
wanted to tell you first, because I think you'd like to tell HIM
|
|
by yourselves. After that, I could talk it well over with him,
|
|
and we could go into business and the nature of things."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, you dear good father!" cried Mary, putting her hands round her
|
|
father's neck, while he bent his head placidly, willing to be caressed.
|
|
"I wonder if any other girl thinks her father the best man in the world!"
|
|
|
|
"Nonsense, child; you'll think your husband better."
|
|
|
|
"Impossible," said Mary, relapsing into her usual tone; "husbands
|
|
are an inferior class of men, who require keeping in order."
|
|
|
|
When they were entering the house with Letty, who had run to join them,
|
|
Mary saw Fred at the orchard-gate, and went to meet him.
|
|
|
|
"What fine clothes you wear, you extravagant youth!" said Mary,
|
|
as Fred stood still and raised his hat to her with playful formality.
|
|
"You are not learning economy."
|
|
|
|
"Now that is too bad, Mary," said Fred. "Just look at the edges
|
|
of these coat-cuffs! It is only by dint of good brushing that I
|
|
look respectable. I am saving up three suits--one for a wedding-suit."
|
|
|
|
"How very droll you will look!--like a gentleman in an old fashion-book."
|
|
|
|
"Oh no, they will keep two years."
|
|
|
|
"Two years! be reasonable, Fred," said Mary, turning to walk.
|
|
"Don't encourage flattering expectations."
|
|
|
|
"Why not? One lives on them better than on unflattering ones.
|
|
If we can't be married in two years, the truth will be quite bad
|
|
enough when it comes."
|
|
|
|
"I have heard a story of a young gentleman who once encouraged
|
|
flattering expectations, and they did him harm."
|
|
|
|
"Mary, if you've got something discouraging to tell me, I shall bolt;
|
|
I shall go into the house to Mr. Garth. I am out of spirits.
|
|
My father is so cut up--home is not like itself. I can't bear any
|
|
more bad news."
|
|
|
|
"Should you call it bad news to be told that you were to live
|
|
at Stone Court, and manage the farm, and be remarkably prudent,
|
|
and save money every year till all the stock and furniture were
|
|
your own, and you were a distinguished agricultural character,
|
|
as Mr. Borthrop Trumbull says--rather stout, I fear, and with the
|
|
Greek and Latin sadly weather-worn?"
|
|
|
|
"You don't mean anything except nonsense, Mary?" said Fred,
|
|
coloring slightly nevertheless.
|
|
|
|
"That is what my father has just told me of as what may happen,
|
|
and he never talks nonsense," said Mary, looking up at Fred now,
|
|
while he grasped her hand as they walked, till it rather hurt her;
|
|
but she would not complain.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, I could be a tremendously good fellow then, Mary, and we could
|
|
be married directly."
|
|
|
|
"Not so fast, sir; how do you know that I would not rather defer
|
|
our marriage for some years? That would leave you time to misbehave,
|
|
and then if I liked some one else better, I should have an excuse
|
|
for jilting you."
|
|
|
|
"Pray don't joke, Mary," said Fred, with strong feeling. "Tell me
|
|
seriously that all this is true, and that you are happy because of it--
|
|
because you love me best."
|
|
|
|
"It is all true, Fred, and I am happy because of it--because I love
|
|
you best," said Mary, in a tone of obedient recitation.
|
|
|
|
They lingered on the door-step under the steep-roofed porch,
|
|
and Fred almost in a whisper said--
|
|
|
|
"When we were first engaged, with the umbrella-ring, Mary, you used to--"
|
|
|
|
The spirit of joy began to laugh more decidedly in Mary's eyes,
|
|
but the fatal Ben came running to the door with Brownie yapping
|
|
behind him, and, bouncing against them, said--
|
|
|
|
"Fred and Mary! are you ever coming in?--or may I eat your cake?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
FINALE.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Every limit is a beginning as well as an ending. Who can quit young
|
|
lives after being long in company with them, and not desire to know
|
|
what befell them in their after-years? For the fragment of a life,
|
|
however typical, is not the sample of an even web: promises may
|
|
not be kept, and an ardent outset may be followed by declension;
|
|
latent powers may find their long-waited opportunity; a past error
|
|
may urge a grand retrieval.
|
|
|
|
Marriage, which has been the bourne of so many narratives,
|
|
is still a great beginning, as it was to Adam and Eve, who kept
|
|
their honeymoon in Eden, but had their first little one among the
|
|
thorns and thistles of the wilderness. It is still the beginning
|
|
of the home epic--the gradual conquest or irremediable loss
|
|
of that complete union which makes the advancing years a climax,
|
|
and age the harvest of sweet memories in common.
|
|
|
|
Some set out, like Crusaders of old, with a glorious equipment
|
|
of hope and enthusiasm and get broken by the way, wanting patience
|
|
with each other and the world.
|
|
|
|
All who have oared for Fred Vincy and Mary Garth will like to
|
|
know that these two made no such failure, but achieved a solid
|
|
mutual happiness. Fred surprised his neighbors in various ways.
|
|
He became rather distinguished in his side of the county as a theoretic
|
|
and practical farmer, and produced a work on the "Cultivation of
|
|
Green Crops and the Economy of Cattle-Feeding" which won him high
|
|
congratulations at agricultural meetings. In Middlemarch admiration
|
|
was more reserved: most persons there were inclined to believe
|
|
that the merit of Fred's authorship was due to his wife, since they
|
|
had never expected Fred Vincy to write on turnips and mangel-wurzel.
|
|
|
|
But when Mary wrote a little book for her boys, called "Stories
|
|
of Great Men, taken from Plutarch," and had it printed and published
|
|
by Gripp & Co., Middlemarch, every one in the town was willing
|
|
to give the credit of this work to Fred, observing that he
|
|
had been to the University, "where the ancients were studied,"
|
|
and might have been a clergyman if he had chosen.
|
|
|
|
In this way it was made clear that Middlemarch had never been deceived,
|
|
and that there was no need to praise anybody for writing a book,
|
|
since it was always done by somebody else.
|
|
|
|
Moreover, Fred remained unswervingly steady. Some years after
|
|
his marriage he told Mary that his happiness was half owing
|
|
to Farebrother, who gave him a strong pull-up at the right moment.
|
|
I cannot say that he was never again misled by his hopefulness:
|
|
the yield of crops or the profits of a cattle sale usually fell
|
|
below his estimate; and he was always prone to believe that he
|
|
could make money by the purchase of a horse which turned out badly--
|
|
though this, Mary observed, was of course the fault of the horse,
|
|
not of Fred's judgment. He kept his love of horsemanship, but he rarely
|
|
allowed himself a day's hunting; and when he did so, it was remarkable
|
|
that he submitted to be laughed at for cowardliness at the fences,
|
|
seeming to see Mary and the boys sitting on the five-barred gate,
|
|
or showing their curly heads between hedge and ditch.
|
|
|
|
There were three boys: Mary was not discontented that she brought
|
|
forth men-children only; and when Fred wished to have a girl like her,
|
|
she said, laughingly, "that would be too great a trial to your mother."
|
|
Mrs. Vincy in her declining years, and in the diminished lustre of
|
|
her housekeeping, was much comforted by her perception that two at least
|
|
of Fred's boys were real Vincys, and did not "feature the Garths."
|
|
But Mary secretly rejoiced that the youngest of the three was very
|
|
much what her father must have been when he wore a round jacket,
|
|
and showed a marvellous nicety of aim in playing at marbles,
|
|
or in throwing stones to bring down the mellow pears.
|
|
|
|
Ben and Letty Garth, who were uncle and aunt before they were well
|
|
in their teens, disputed much as to whether nephews or nieces were
|
|
more desirable; Ben contending that it was clear girls were good
|
|
for less than boys, else they would not be always in petticoats,
|
|
which showed how little they were meant for; whereupon Letty,
|
|
who argued much from books, got angry in replying that God made coats
|
|
of skins for both Adam and Eve alike--also it occurred to her that
|
|
in the East the men too wore petticoats. But this latter argument,
|
|
obscuring the majesty of the former, was one too many, for Ben
|
|
answered contemptuously, "The more spooneys they!" and immediately
|
|
appealed to his mother whether boys were not better than girls.
|
|
Mrs. Garth pronounced that both were alike naughty, but that boys
|
|
were undoubtedly stronger, could run faster, and throw with more
|
|
precision to a greater distance. With this oracular sentence Ben was
|
|
well satisfied, not minding the naughtiness; but Letty took it ill,
|
|
her feeling of superiority being stronger than her muscles.
|
|
|
|
Fred never became rich--his hopefulness had not led him to expect that;
|
|
but he gradually saved enough to become owner of the stock and furniture
|
|
at Stone Court, and the work which Mr. Garth put into his hands
|
|
carried him in plenty through those "bad times" which are always
|
|
present with farmers. Mary, in her matronly days, became as solid
|
|
in figure as her mother; but, unlike her, gave the boys little
|
|
formal teaching, so that Mrs. Garth was alarmed lest they should never
|
|
be well grounded in grammar and geography. Nevertheless, they were
|
|
found quite forward enough when they went to school; perhaps,
|
|
because they had liked nothing so well as being with their mother.
|
|
When Fred was riding home on winter evenings he had a pleasant
|
|
vision beforehand of the bright hearth in the wainscoted parlor,
|
|
and was sorry for other men who could not have Mary for their wife;
|
|
especially for Mr. Farebrother. "He was ten times worthier of you
|
|
than I was," Fred could now say to her, magnanimously. "To be sure
|
|
he was," Mary answered; "and for that reason he could do better
|
|
without me. But you--I shudder to think what you would have been--
|
|
a curate in debt for horse-hire and cambric pocket-handkerchiefs!"
|
|
|
|
On inquiry it might possibly be found that Fred and Mary still
|
|
inhabit Stone Court--that the creeping plants still cast the foam
|
|
of their blossoms over the fine stone-wall into the field where the
|
|
walnut-trees stand in stately row--and that on sunny days the two
|
|
lovers who were first engaged with the umbrella-ring may be seen
|
|
in white-haired placidity at the open window from which Mary Garth,
|
|
in the days of old Peter Featherstone, had often been ordered
|
|
to look out for Mr. Lydgate.
|
|
|
|
Lydgate's hair never became white. He died when he was only fifty,
|
|
leaving his wife and children provided for by a heavy insurance
|
|
on his life. He had gained an excellent practice, alternating,
|
|
according to the season, between London and a Continental bathing-place;
|
|
having written a treatise on Gout, a disease which has a good deal
|
|
of wealth on its side. His skill was relied on by many paying patients,
|
|
but he always regarded himself as a failure: he had not done what he
|
|
once meant to do. His acquaintances thought him enviable to have
|
|
so charming a wife, and nothing happened to shake their opinion.
|
|
Rosamond never committed a second compromising indiscretion. She simply
|
|
continued to be mild in her temper, inflexible in her judgment,
|
|
disposed to admonish her husband, and able to frustrate him
|
|
by stratagem. As the years went on he opposed her less and less,
|
|
whence Rosamond concluded that he had learned the value of her opinion;
|
|
on the other hand, she had a more thorough conviction of his talents
|
|
now that he gained a good income, and instead of the threatened cage
|
|
in Bride Street provided one all flowers and gilding, fit for the
|
|
bird of paradise that she resembled. In brief, Lydgate was what is
|
|
called a successful man. But he died prematurely of diphtheria,
|
|
and Rosamond afterwards married an elderly and wealthy physician,
|
|
who took kindly to her four children. She made a very pretty show
|
|
with her daughters, driving out in her carriage, and often spoke
|
|
of her happiness as "a reward"--she did not say for what, but probably
|
|
she meant that it was a reward for her patience with Tertius,
|
|
whose temper never became faultless, and to the last occasionally
|
|
let slip a bitter speech which was more memorable than the signs
|
|
he made of his repentance. He once called her his basil plant;
|
|
and when she asked for an explanation, said that basil was a plant
|
|
which had flourished wonderfully on a murdered man's brains.
|
|
Rosamond had a placid but strong answer to such speeches. Why then
|
|
had he chosen her? It was a pity he had not had Mrs. Ladislaw,
|
|
whom he was always praising and placing above her. And thus
|
|
the conversation ended with the advantage on Rosamond's side.
|
|
But it would be unjust not to tell, that she never uttered a word
|
|
in depreciation of Dorothea, keeping in religious remembrance
|
|
the generosity which had come to her aid in the sharpest crisis of
|
|
her life.
|
|
|
|
Dorothea herself had no dreams of being praised above other women,
|
|
feeling that there was always something better which she might have done,
|
|
if she had only been better and known better. Still, she never
|
|
repented that she had given up position and fortune to marry
|
|
Will Ladislaw, and he would have held it the greatest shame as well
|
|
as sorrow to him if she had repented. They were bound to each other
|
|
by a love stronger than any impulses which could have marred it.
|
|
No life would have been possible to Dorothea which was not filled
|
|
with emotion, and she had now a life filled also with a beneficent
|
|
activity which she had not the doubtful pains of discovering
|
|
and marking out for herself. Will became an ardent public man,
|
|
working well in those times when reforms were begun with a young
|
|
hopefulness of immediate good which has been much checked in our days,
|
|
and getting at last returned to Parliament by a constituency
|
|
who paid his expenses. Dorothea could have liked nothing better,
|
|
since wrongs existed, than that her husband should be in the thick
|
|
of a struggle against them, and that she should give him wifely help.
|
|
Many who knew her, thought it a pity that so substantive and rare
|
|
a creature should have been absorbed into the life of another,
|
|
and be only known in a certain circle as a wife and mother.
|
|
But no one stated exactly what else that was in her power she ought
|
|
rather to have done--not even Sir James Chettam, who went no further
|
|
than the negative prescription that she ought not to have married
|
|
Will Ladislaw.
|
|
|
|
But this opinion of his did not cause a lasting alienation; and the
|
|
way in which the family was made whole again was characteristic
|
|
of all concerned. Mr. Brooke could not resist the pleasure of
|
|
corresponding with Will and Dorothea; and one morning when his pen
|
|
had been remarkably fluent on the prospects of Municipal Reform,
|
|
it ran off into an invitation to the Grange, which, once written,
|
|
could not be done away with at less cost than the sacrifice
|
|
(hardly to be conceived) of the whole valuable letter.
|
|
During the months of this correspondence Mr. Brooke had continually,
|
|
in his talk with Sir James Chettam, been presupposing or hinting
|
|
that the intention of cutting off the entail was still maintained;
|
|
and the day on which his pen gave the daring invitation, he went
|
|
to Freshitt expressly to intimate that he had a stronger sense than
|
|
ever of the reasons for taking that energetic step as a precaution
|
|
against any mixture of low blood in the heir of the Brookes.
|
|
|
|
But that morning something exciting had happened at the Hall.
|
|
A letter had come to Celia which made her cry silently as she read it;
|
|
and when Sir James, unused to see her in tears, asked anxiously what
|
|
was the matter, she burst out in a wail such as he had never heard
|
|
from her before.
|
|
|
|
"Dorothea has a little boy. And you will not let me go and see her.
|
|
And I am sure she wants to see me. And she will not know what to do
|
|
with the baby--she will do wrong things with it. And they thought
|
|
she would die. It is very dreadful! Suppose it had been me and
|
|
little Arthur, and Dodo had been hindered from coming to see me!
|
|
I wish you would be less unkind, James!"
|
|
|
|
"Good heavens, Celia!" said Sir James, much wrought upon, "what do
|
|
you wish? I will do anything you like. I will take you to town
|
|
to-morrow if you wish it." And Celia did wish it.
|
|
|
|
It was after this that Mr. Brooke came, and meeting the Baronet
|
|
in the grounds, began to chat with him in ignorance of the news,
|
|
which Sir James for some reason did not care to tell him immediately.
|
|
But when the entail was touched on in the usual way, he said,
|
|
"My dear sir, it is not for me to dictate to you, but for my part I
|
|
would let that alone. I would let things remain as they are."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Brooke felt so much surprised that he did not at once find
|
|
out how much he was relieved by the sense that he was not expected
|
|
to do anything in particular.
|
|
|
|
Such being the bent of Celia's heart, it was inevitable that Sir James
|
|
should consent to a reconciliation with Dorothea and her husband.
|
|
Where women love each other, men learn to smother their mutual dislike.
|
|
Sir James never liked Ladislaw, and Will always preferred to have Sir
|
|
James's company mixed with another kind: they were on a footing
|
|
of reciprocal tolerance which was made quite easy only when Dorothea
|
|
and Celia were present.
|
|
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|
It became an understood thing that Mr. and Mrs. Ladislaw should pay
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at least two visits during the year to the Grange, and there came
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gradually a small row of cousins at Freshitt who enjoyed playing
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with the two cousins Visiting Tipton as much as if the blood
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of these cousins had been less dubiously mixed.
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Mr. Brooke lived to a good old age, and his estate was inherited by
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Dorothea's son, who might have represented Middlemarch, but declined,
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thinking that his opinions had less chance of being stifled if he
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remained out of doors.
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Sir James never ceased to regard Dorothea's second marriage as a mistake;
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and indeed this remained the tradition concerning it in Middlemarch,
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where she was spoken of to a younger generation as a fine girl
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who married a sickly clergyman, old enough to be her father, and in
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little more than a year after his death gave up her estate to marry
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his cousin--young enough to have been his son, with no property,
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and not well-born. Those who had not seen anything of Dorothea
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usually observed that she could not have been "a nice woman,"
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else she would not have married either the one or the other.
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Certainly those determining acts of her life were not ideally beautiful.
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They were the mixed result of young and noble impulse struggling
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amidst the conditions of an imperfect social state, in which great
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feelings will often take the aspect of error, and great faith the
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aspect of illusion. For there is no creature whose inward being is
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so strong that it is not greatly determined by what lies outside it.
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A new Theresa will hardly have the opportunity of reforming
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a conventual life, any more than a new Antigone will spend her
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heroic piety in daring all for the sake of a brother's burial:
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the medium in which their ardent deeds took shape is forever gone.
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But we insignificant people with our daily words and acts are
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preparing the lives of many Dorotheas, some of which may present
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a far sadder sacrifice than that of the Dorothea whose story we know.
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Her finely touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were
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not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus
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broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great
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name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around
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her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world
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is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so
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ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the
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number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.
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The end of Project Gutenberg Etext of "Middlemarch"
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