675 lines
41 KiB
Plaintext
675 lines
41 KiB
Plaintext
Revised by:
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Combat Arms BBS
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P.O. Box 913
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Portland, Oregon 97207-0913
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Voice: (503) 223-3160
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BBS: (503) 221-1777
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Fido 1:105/68
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February 20, 1993
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TO BUILD A FIRE
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by
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Jack London
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"He was quick and alert in the things of life, but
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only in the things, and not in the significances."
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----------------------
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DAY HAD BROKEN cold and gray, exceedingly cold and gray,
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when the man turned aside from the main Yukon trail and climbed
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the high earth-bank, where a dim and little-travelled trail led
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eastward through the fat spruce timberland. It was a steep bank,
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and he paused for breath at the top, excusing the act to himself
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by looking at his watch. It was nine o'clock. There was no sun
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nor hind of sun, though there was not a cloud in the sky. It was
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a clear day, and yet there seemed an intangible pall over the
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face of things, a subtle gloom that made the day dark, and that
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was due to the absence of sun. This fact did not worry the man.
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He was used to the lack of sun. It had been days since he had
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seen the sun, and he knew that a few more days must pass before
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that cheerful orb, due south, would just peep above the sky line
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and dip immediately from view.
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The man flung a look back along the way he had come. The
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Yukon lay a mile wide and hidden under three feet of ice. On top
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of this ice were as many feet of snow. It was all pure white,
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rolling in gentle undulations where the ice jams of the freeze-up
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had formed. North and south, as far as his eye could see, it was
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unbroken white, save for a dark hairline that curved and twisted
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from around the spruce-covered island to the south, and that
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curved and twisted away into the north, where it disappeared
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behind another spruce-covered island. This dark hairline was the
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trail---the main trail--that led south five hundred miles to the
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Chilcoot Pass, Dyea, and salt water; and that led north seventy
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miles to Dawson, and still on to the north a thousand miles to
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Nulato, and finally to St. Michael, on Bearing Sea, a thousand
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miles and half a thousand more.
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But all this---the mysterious, far-reaching hairline trail,
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the absence of sun from the sky, the tremendous cold, and the
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strangeness and weirdness of it all--made no impression on the
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man. It was not because he was long used to it. He was a newcomer
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in the land, a "chechaquo", and this was his first winter. The
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trouble with him was that he was without imagination. He was
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quick and alert in the things of life, but only in the things,
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and not in the significances. Fifty degrees below zero meant
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eighty odd degrees of frost. Such fact impressed him as being
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cold and uncomfortable, and that was all. It did not lead him to
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meditate upon his frailty in general, able only to live within
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certain narrow limits of heat and cold; and from there on it did
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not lead him to the conjectural field of immortality and man's
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place in the universe. Fifty degrees below zero stood for a bite
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of frost that hurt and that must be guarded against by the use of
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mittens, ear flaps, warm moccasins, and thick socks. Fifty
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degrees below zero was to him just precisely fifty degrees below
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zero. That there should be anything more to it than that was a
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thought that never entered his head.
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As he turned to go, he spat speculatively. There was a
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sharp, explosive crackle that startled him. He spat again. And
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again, in the air, before it could fall to the snow, the spittle
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crackled. He knew that at fifty below spittle crackled on the
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snow, but this spittle had crackled in the air. Undoubtedly it
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was colder than fifty below--how much colder he did not know. But
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the temperature did not matter. He was bound for the old claim on
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the left fork of Henderson Creek, where the boys were already.
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They had come over across the divide from the Indian Creek
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country, while he had come the roundabout way to take a look at
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the possibility of getting out logs in the spring from the
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islands in the Yukon. He would be in to camp by six o'clock; a
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bit after dark, it ws true, but the boys would be there, a fire
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would be going, and a hot supper would be ready. As for lunch, he
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pressed his hand against the protruding bundle under his jacket.
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It was also under his shirt, wrapped up in a handkerchief and
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lying against the naked skin. It was the only way to keep the
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biscuits from freezing. He smiled agreeably to himself as he
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thought of those biscuits, each cut open and sopped in bacon
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grease, and each enclosing a generous slice of fried bacon.
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He plunged in among the big spruce trees. The trail was
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faint. A foot of snow had fallen since the last sled had passed
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over, and he was glad he was without a sled, travelling light. In
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fact, he carried nothing but the lunch wrapped in the
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handkerchief. He was surprised, however, at the cold. It
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certainly was cold, he concluded, as he rubbed his numb nose and
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cheekbones with his mittened hand. He was a warm-whiskered man,
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but the hair on his face did not protect the high cheekbones and
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the eager nose that thrust itself aggressively into the frosty
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air.
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At the man's heels trotted a dog, a big native husky, the
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proper wolf dog, gray-coated and without any visible or
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temperamental difference from its brother, the wild wolf. The
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animal was depressed by the tremendous cold. It knew that it was
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no time for travelling. Its instinct told it a truer tale than
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was told to the man by the man's judgement. In reality, it was
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not merely colder than fifty below zero; it was colder than sixty
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below, than seventy below. It was seventy-five below zero. Since
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the freezing point is thirty-two above zero, it meant that one
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hundred and seven degrees of frost obtained. The dog did not know
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anything about thermometers. Possibly in its brain there was no
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sharp consciousness of a condition of very cold such as was in
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the man's brain. But the brute had its instinct. It experienced a
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vague but menacing apprehension that subdued it and made it slink
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along at the man's heels, and that made it question eagerly every
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unwonted movement of the man as if expecting him to go into camp
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or to seek shelter somewhere and build a fire. The dog had
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learned fire and it wanted fire, or else to burrow under the snow
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and cuddle its warmth away from the air
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The frozen moisture of its (i.e. the dog's) breathing had
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settled on its fur in a fine powder of frost, and especially were
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its jowls, muzzle, and eyelashes whitened by its crystalled
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breath. The man's red beard and mustache were likewise frosted,
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but more solidly, the deposit taking the form of ice and
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increasing with every warm, moist breath he exhaled. Also, the
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man was chewing tobacco and the muzzle of ice held his lips so
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rigidly that he was unable to clear his chin when he expelled the
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juice. The result was that a crystal beard of the color and
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solidity of amber was increasing its length on his chin. If he
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fell down it would shatter itself, like glass, into brittle
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fragments. But he did not mind the appendage. It was the penalty
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all tobacco chewers paid in that country, and he had been out
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before in two cold snaps. they had not been so cold as this, he
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knew, but by the spirit thermometer at Sixty Mile he knew they
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had registered at fifty below and at fifty-five.
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He held on through the level stretch of woods for several
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miles, crossed a wide flat of nigger heads, and dropped down a
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bank to the frozen bed of a small stream. This was Henderson
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Creek, and he knew he was ten miles from the forks. He looked at
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his watch. It was ten o'clock. He was making four miles an hour,
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and he calculated that he would arrive at the forks at half-past
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twelve. He decided to celebrate that event by eating his lunch
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there.
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The dog dropped in again at his heels, with a tail drooping
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discouragement, as the man sung along the creek bed. The furrow
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of the old sled trail was plainly visible, but a dozen inches of
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snow covered the marks of the last runners. In a month no man had
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come up or down that silent creek. The man held steadily on. He
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was not much given to thinking, and just then particularly he had
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nothing to think about save that he would eat lunch at the forks
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and that at six o'clock he would be in camp with the boys. There
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was nobody to talk to; and, had there been, speech would have
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been impossible because of the ice muzzle on his mouth. so he
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continued monotonously to chew tobacco and to increase the length
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of his amber beard.
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Once in a while the thought reiterated itself that it was
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very cold and that he had never experienced such cold. As he
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walked along he rubbed his cheekbones and nose with the back of
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his mittened hand. He did this automatically, now and again
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changing hands. But, rub as he would, the instant he stopped his
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cheekbones went numb, and the following instant the end of his
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nose went numb. He was sure to frost his cheeks; he knew that,
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and experienced a pang of regret that he had not devised a nose
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strap of the sort Bud wore in cold snaps. Such a strap passed
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across the cheeks, as well, and saved them. But it didn't matter
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much, after all. What were frosted cheeks? a bit painful, that
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was all; they were never serious.
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Empty as the man's mind was of thoughts, he was keenly
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observant, and he noticed the changes in the creek, the curves
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and bends and timber jams, and always he sharply noted where he
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placed his feet. Once, coming around a bend, he shied abruptly,
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like a startled horse, curved away from the place where he had
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been walking, and retreated several paces back along the trail.
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The creek he knew was frozen clear to the bottom---no creek could
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contain water in that arctic winter--but he knew also that there
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were springs that bubbled out from the hillsides and ran along
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under the snow and on top the ice of the creek. He knew that the
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coldest snaps never froze these springs, and he knew likewise
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their danger. They were traps. They hid pools of water under the
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snow that might be three inches deep, or three feet. Sometimes a
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skin of ice half an inch thick covered them, and in turn was
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covered by the snow. Sometimes there were alternate layers of
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water and ice skin, so that when one broke through he kept on
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breaking through for a while, sometimes wetting himself to the
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waist.
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That was why he had shied in such panic. He had felt the
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give under his feet and heard the crackle of a snow-hidden ice
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skin. And to get his feet wet in such a temperature meant trouble
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and danger. At the very least it meant delay, for he would be
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forced to stop and build a fire, and under its protection to bare
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his feet while he dried his socks and moccasins. He stood and
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studied the creek bed and its banks, and decided that the flow of
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water came from the right. He reflected awhile, rubbing his nose
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and cheeks, then skirted to the left, stepping gingerly and
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testing the footing for each step. Once clear of the danger, he
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took a fresh chew of tobacco and swung along at his four-mile
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gait. Continuing with Jack London's "To Build A Fire". the danger
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of falling through the ice has become a factor.
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In the course of the next two hours he came upon several
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similar traps. Usually the snow above the hidden pools had a
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sunken, candied appearance that advertised the danger. Once
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again, however, he had a close call; and once, suspecting danger,
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he compelled the dog to go on in front. The dog did not want to
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go. It hung back until the man shoved it forward, and then it
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went quickly across the white, unbroken surface. Suddenly it
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broke through, floundered to one side, and got away to firmer
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footing. It had wet its forefeet and legs, and almost immediately
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the water that clung to it turned to ice. It made quick efforts
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to lick the ice off its legs, then dropped down in the snow and
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began to bite out the ice that had formed between the toes. This
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was a matter of instinct. To permit the ice to remain would mean
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sore feet. It did not know this. It merely obeyed the mysterious
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prompting that arose from the deep crypts of its being. But the
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man knew, having achieved a judgement on the subject, and he
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removed the mitten from his right hand and helped tear out the
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ice particles. He did not expose his fingers more than a minute,
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and was astonished at the swift numbness that smote them. It
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certainly was cold. He pulled on the mitten hastily, and beat the
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hand savagely across his chest.
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At twelve o'clock the day was at its brightest. Yet the sun
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was too far south on its winter journey to clear the horizon. The
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bulge of the earth intervened between it and Henderson Creek,
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where the man walked under a clear sky at noon and cast no
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shadow. At half-past twelve, to the minute, he arrived at the
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forks of the creek. He was pleased at the speed he had made. If
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he kept it up, he would certainly be with the boys by six. He
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unbuttoned his jacket and shirt and drew forth his lunch. The
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action consumed no more than a quarter of a minute, yet in that
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brief moment the numbness laid hold of his exposed fingers. He
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did not put the mitten on, but, instead, struck the fingers a
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dozen sharp smashes against his leg. Then he sat down on a snow-
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covered log to eat. The sting that followed upon the striking of
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his fingers against his leg ceased so quickly that he was
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startled. He had had no chance to take a bit of biscuit. He
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struck the fingers repeatedly and returned them to the mitten,
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baring the other hand for the purpose of eating. He tried to take
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a mouthful, but the ice muzzle prevented. He had forgotten to
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build a fire and thaw out. He chuckled at his foolishness, and as
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he chuckled he noted that the stinging which had first come to
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his toes when he sat down was already passing away. He wondered
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whether the toes were warm or numb. He moved them inside the
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moccasins and decided that they were numb.
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He pulled the mitten on hurriedly and stood up. He was a bit
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frightened. He stamped up and down until the stinging returned to
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his feet. It certainly was cold, was his thought. That man from
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Sulpher Creek had spoken the truth when telling how cold it
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sometimes got in the country. And he had laughed at him at the
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time! That showed one must not be too sure of things. There was
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no mistake about it, it *was* cold. He strode up and down,
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stamping his feet and threshing his arms, until reassured by the
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returning warmth. Then he got out matches and proceeded to make a
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fire. >From the undergrowth, where high water of the previous
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spring had lodged a supply of seasoned twigs, he got his
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firewood. Working carefully from a small beginning, he soon had a
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roaring fire, over which he thawed the ice from his face and in
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the protection of which he ate his biscuits. For the moment the
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cold of space was outwitted. The dog took satisfaction in the
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fire, stretching out close enough for warmth and far enough away
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to escape being singed.
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When the man had finished, he filled his pipe and took his
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comfortable time over a smoke. Then he pulled on his mittens,
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settled the ear flaps of his cap firmly about his ears, and took
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the creek trail up the left fork. The dog was disappointed and
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yearned back toward the fire. The man did not know cold. Possibly
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all the generations of his ancestry had been ignorant of cold, of
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real cold, of cold one hundred and seven degrees below freezing
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point. But the dog knew; all its ancestry knew, and it had
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inherited the knowledge. And it knew that it was not good to walk
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abroad in such fearful cold. It was the time to lie snug in a
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hole in the snow and wait for a curtain of cloud to be drawn
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across the face of outer space whence this cold came. On the
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other hand, there was no keen intimacy between the dog and the
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man. The one was the toil slave of the other, and the only
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caresses it had ever received were the caresses of the whip lash
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and of harsh and menacing throat sounds that threatened the whip
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lash. So the dog made no effort to communicate its apprehension
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to the man. It was not concerned in the welfare of the man; it
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was for its own sake that it yearned back toward the fire. But
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the man whistled, and spoke to it with the sound of whip lashes,
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and the dog swung in at the man's heels and followed after.
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The man took a chew of tobacco and proceeded to start a new
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amber beard. Also, his moist breath quickly powdered with white
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his mustache, eyebrows, and lashes. There did not seem to be so
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many springs on the left fork of the Henderson, and for half an
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hour the man saw no signs of any. And then it happened. At a
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place where there were no signs, where the soft, unbroken snow
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seemed to advertise solidity beneath, the man broke through. It
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was not deep. He wet himself halfway to the knees before he
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floundered out to the firm crust.
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He was angry, and cursed his luck aloud. He had hoped to get
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into camp with the boys at six o'clock, and this would delay him
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an hour, for he would have to build a fire and dry out his
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footgear. This was imperative at that low temperature--for he
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knew that much; and he turned aside to the bank, which he
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climbed. On top, tangled in the underbrush about the trunks of
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several small spruce trees, was a high water deposit of dry
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firewood--sticks and twigs, principally, but also larger portions
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of seasoned branches and fine, dry, last year's grasses. He threw
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down several large pieces on top of the snow. This served for a
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foundation and prevented the young flame from drowning itself in
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the snow it otherwise would melt. The flame he got by touching a
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match to a small shred of birch bark that he took from his
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pocket. This burned even more readily than paper. Placing it on
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the foundation, he fed the young flame with wisps of dry grass
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and with the tiniest dry twigs.
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He worked slowly and carefully, keenly aware of his danger.
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Gradually, as the flame grew stronger, he increased the size of
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the twigs with which he fed it. He squatted in the snow, pulling
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the twigs out from their entanglement in the brush and feeding
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directly to the flame. He knew there must be no failure. When it
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is seventy-five below zero, a man must not fail in his first
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attempt to build a fire---that is, if his feet are wet. If his
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feet are dry, and he fails, he can run along the trail for half a
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mile and restore his circulation. But the circulation of wet and
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freezing feet cannot be restored by running when it is seventy-
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five below. No matter how fast he runs, the wet feet will freeze
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the harder.
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All this the man knew. The old-timer on Sulphur Creek had
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told him about it the previous fall, and now he was appreciating
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the advice. Already all sensation had gone out of his feet. To
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build the fire he had been forced to remove his mittens, and the
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fingers had quickly gone numb. His pace of four miles an hour had
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kept his heart pumping blood to the surface of his body and to
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all the extremities. But the instant he stopped, the action of
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the pump eased down. The cold of space smote the unprotected tip
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of the planet, and he, being on that unprotected tip, received
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the full force of the blow. the blood of his body recoiled before
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it. The blood was alive, like the dog, and like the dog it wanted
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to hide away and cover itself up from the fearful cold. So long
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as he walked four miles an hour, he pumped that blood, willy-
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nilly, to the surface; but now it ebbed away and sank down into
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the recesses of his body. The extremities were the first to feel
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its absence. His wet feet froze the faster, and his exposed
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fingers numbed the faster, though they had not yet begun to
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freeze. Nose and cheeks were already freezing, while the skin of
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all his body chilled as it lost its blood.
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But he was safe. Toes and nose and cheeks would be only
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touched by the frost, for the fire was beginning to burn with
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strength. He was feeding it with twigs the size of his finger. In
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another minute he would be able to feed it with branches the size
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of his wrist, and then he could remove his wet footgear, and,
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while it dried, he could keep his naked feet warm by the fire,
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rubbing them at first, of course, with snow. The fire was a
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success. He was safe. He remembered the advice of the old-timer
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on Sulphur Creek, and smiled. The old-timer had been very serious
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in laying down the law that no man must travel alone in the
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Klondike after fifty below. Well, here he was; he had had the
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accident; he was alone; and he had saved himself. Those old-
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timers were rather womanish, some of them, he thought. All a man
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had to do was to keep his head, and he was all right. Any man who
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was a man could travel alone. But it was surprising, the rapidity
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with which his cheeks and nose were freezing. And he had not
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thought his fingers could go lifeless in so short a time.
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Lifeless they were, for he could scarcely make them move together
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to grip a twig, and they seemed remote from his body and from
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him. When he touched a twig, he had to look and see whether or
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not he had hold of it. The wires were pretty well down between
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him and his finger ends.
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All of which counted for little. There was the fire,
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snapping and crackling and promising life with every dancing
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flame. He started to untie his moccasins. They were coated with
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ice; the thick German socks were like sheaths of iron halfway to
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the knees; and the moccasin strings were like rods of steel all
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twisted and knotted as by some conflagration. For a moment he
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tugged with his numb fingers, then, realizing the folly of it, he
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drew his sheath knife.
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But before he could cut the strings, it happened. It was his
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own fault or, rather, his mistake. He should not have built the
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fire under the spruce tree. He should have built it in the open.
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But it had been easier to pull the twigs from the brush and drop
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them directly on the fire. Now the tree under which he had done
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this carried a weight of snow on its boughs. No wind had blown
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for weeks, and each bough was fully freighted. Each time he had
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pulled on a twig he had communicated a slight agitation to the
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tree--an imperceptible agitation, so far as he was concerned, but
|
|
an agitation sufficient to bring about the disaster. High up in
|
|
the tree one bough capsized its load of snow. This fell on the
|
|
boughs beneath, capsizing them. This process continued, spreading
|
|
out and involving the whole tree. It grew like an avalanche, and
|
|
it descended without warning upon the man and the fire, and the
|
|
fire was blotted out! Where it had burned was a mantle of fresh
|
|
and disordered snow.
|
|
|
|
The man was shocked. It was as though he had just heard his
|
|
own sentence of death. For a moment he sat and stared at the spot
|
|
where the fire had been. Then he grew very calm. Perhaps the old-
|
|
timer on Sulphur Creek was right. If he had only had a trail mate
|
|
he would have been in no danger now. The trail mate could have
|
|
built the fire. Well, it was up to him to build a fire over
|
|
again, and this second time there must be no failure. Even if he
|
|
succeeded, he would most likely lose some toes. His feet must be
|
|
badly frozen by now, and there would be some time before the
|
|
second fire was ready.
|
|
|
|
Such were his thoughts, but he did not sit and think them.
|
|
He was busy all the time they were passing through his mind. He
|
|
made a new foundation for a fire, this time in the open, where no
|
|
treacherous tree could blot it out. Next he gathered dry grasses
|
|
and tiny twigs from the high water flotsam. He could not bring
|
|
his fingers together to pull them out, but he was able to gather
|
|
them by the handful. In this way he got many rotten twigs and
|
|
bits of green moss that were undesirable, but it was the best he
|
|
could do. He worked methodically, even collecting an armful of
|
|
the larger branches to be used later when the fire gathered
|
|
strength. And all the while the dog sat and watched him, a
|
|
certain yearning wistfulness in its eyes, for it looked upon him
|
|
as the fire provider, and the fire was slow in coming.
|
|
|
|
When all was ready, the man reached in his pocket for a
|
|
second piece of birch bark. He knew the bark was there, and,
|
|
though he could not feel it with his fingers, he could hear its
|
|
crisp rustling as he fumbled for it. Try as he would, he could
|
|
not clutch hold of it. And all the time, in his consciousness,
|
|
was the knowledge that each instant his feet were freezing. This
|
|
thought tended to put him in a panic, but he fought against it
|
|
and kept calm. He pulled on his mittens with his teeth, and
|
|
thrashed his arms back and forth, beating his hands with all his
|
|
might against his sides. He did this sitting down, and he stood
|
|
up to do it; and all the while the dog sat in the snow, its wolf
|
|
brush of a tail curled around warmly over its forefeet, its sharp
|
|
wolf ears pricked forward intently as it watched the man. And the
|
|
man, as he beat and threshed with his arms and hands, felt a
|
|
great surge of envy as he regarded the creature that was warm and
|
|
secure in its natural covering.
|
|
|
|
After a time he was aware of the first faraway signals of
|
|
sensation in his beaten fingers. The faint tingling grew stronger
|
|
till it evolved into a stinging ache that was excruciating, but
|
|
which the man hailed with satisfaction. He stripped the mitten
|
|
from his right hand and fetched forth the birch bark. The exposed
|
|
fingers were quickly going numb again. Next he brought out his
|
|
bunch of sulphur matches. But the tremendous cold had already
|
|
driven the life out of his fingers. In his effort to separate one
|
|
match from the others, the whole bunch fell in the snow. He tried
|
|
to pick it out of the snow, but failed. The dead fingers could
|
|
neither touch nor clutch. He was very careful. He drove the
|
|
thought of his freezing feet, and nose, and cheeks, out of his
|
|
mind, devoting his whole soul to the matches. He watched, using
|
|
the sense of vision in place of that of touch, and when he saw
|
|
his fingers on each side the bunch, he closed them--that is, he
|
|
willed to close them, for the wires were down, and the fingers
|
|
did not obey. He pulled the mitten on the right hand, and beat it
|
|
fiercely against his knee. Then, with both mittened hands, he
|
|
scooped the bunch of matches, along with much snow, into his lap.
|
|
Yet he was no better off.
|
|
|
|
After some manipulation he managed to get the bunch between
|
|
the heels of his mittened hands. In this fashion he carried it to
|
|
his mouth. The ice crackled and snapped when by a violent effort
|
|
he opened his mouth. He drew the lower jaw in, curled the upper
|
|
lip out of the way, and scraped the bunch with his upper teeth in
|
|
order to separate a match. He succeeded in getting one, which he
|
|
dropped on his lap. He was no better off. He could not pick it
|
|
up. Then he devised a way. He picked it up in his teeth and
|
|
scratched it on his leg. Twenty times he scratched before he
|
|
succeeded in lighting it. As if flamed he held it with his teeth
|
|
to the birch bark. But the burning brimstone went up his nostrils
|
|
and into his lungs, causing him to cough spasmodically. The match
|
|
fell into the snow and went out.
|
|
|
|
The old-timer on Sulphur Creek was right, he thought in the
|
|
moment of controlled despair that ensued: after fifty below, a
|
|
man should travel with a partner. He beat his hands, but failed
|
|
in exciting any sensation. Suddenly he bared both hands, removing
|
|
the mittens with his teeth. He caught the whole bunch between the
|
|
heels of his hands. His arm muscles not being frozen enabled him
|
|
to press the hand heels tightly against the matches. Then he
|
|
scratched the bunch along his leg. It flared into flame, seventy
|
|
sulphur matches at once! There was no wind to blow them out. He
|
|
kept his head to one side to escape the strangling fumes, and
|
|
held the blazing bundle to the birch bark. As he so held it, he
|
|
became aware of sensation in his hand. His flesh ws burning. He
|
|
could smell it. Deep down below the surface he could feel it. The
|
|
sensation developed into pain that grew acute. And still he
|
|
endured it, holding the flame of the matches clumsily to the bark
|
|
that would not light readily because his own burning hands were
|
|
in the way, absorbing most of the flame.
|
|
|
|
At last, when he could endure no more, he jerked his hands
|
|
apart. The blazing matches fell sizzling into the snow, but the
|
|
birch bark was alight. He began laying dry grasses and the
|
|
tiniest twigs on the flame. He could not pick and choose, for he
|
|
had to lift the fuel between the heels of his hands. Small pieces
|
|
of rotten wood and green moss clung to the twigs, and he bit them
|
|
off as well as he could with his teeth. He cherished the flame
|
|
carefully and awkwardly. It meant life , and it must not perish.
|
|
The withdrawal of blood from the surface of his body now made him
|
|
begin to shiver, and he grew more awkward. A large piece of green
|
|
moss fell squarely on the little fire. He tried to poke it with
|
|
his fingers, but his shivering frame made him poke too far, and
|
|
he disrupted the nucleus of the little fire, the burning grasses
|
|
and tiny twigs separating and scattering. He tried to poke them
|
|
together again, but in spite of the tenseness of the effort, his
|
|
shivering got away with him, and the twigs were hopelessly
|
|
scattered. Each twig gushed a puff of smoke and went out. The
|
|
fire provider had failed. As he looked apathetically about him,
|
|
his eyes chanced on the dog, sitting across the ruins of the fire
|
|
from him, in the snow, making restless, hunching movements,
|
|
slightly lifting one forefoot and then the other, shifting its
|
|
weight back and forth on them with wistful eagerness.
|
|
|
|
The sight of the dog put a wild idea into his head. He
|
|
remembered the tale of the man, caught in a blizzard, who killed
|
|
a steer and crawled inside the carcass, and so was saved. He
|
|
would kill the dog and bury his hands in the warm body until the
|
|
numbness went out of them. Then he could build another fire. He
|
|
spoke to the dog, calling it to him; but in his voice was a
|
|
strange note of fear that frightened the animal, who had never
|
|
known the man to speak in such a way before. something was the
|
|
matter, and its suspicious nature sensed danger-it knew not what
|
|
danger, but somewhere, somehow, in its brain arose an
|
|
apprehension of the man. It flattened its ears down at the sound
|
|
of the man's voice, and its restless, hunching movements and
|
|
liftings and shiftings of its forefeet became more pronounced;
|
|
but it would not come to the man. He got on his hands and knees
|
|
and crawled toward the dog. This unusual posture again excited
|
|
suspicion, and the animal sidled mincingly away.
|
|
|
|
The man sat up in the snow for a moment and struggled for
|
|
calmness. Then he pulled on his mittens, by means of his teeth,
|
|
and got upon his feet. He glanced down at first in order to
|
|
assure himself that he was really standing up, for the absence of
|
|
sensation in his feet left him unrelated to the earth. His erect
|
|
position in itself started to drive the webs of suspicion from
|
|
the dog's mind; and when he spoke peremptorily, with the sound of
|
|
whip lashes in his voice, the dog rendered its customary
|
|
allegiance and came to him. As it came within reaching distance,
|
|
the man lost his control. His arms flashed out to the dog, and he
|
|
experienced genuine surprise when he discovered that his hands
|
|
could not clutch, that there was neither bend nor feeling in the
|
|
fingers. He had forgotten for the moment that they were frozen
|
|
and that they were freezing more and more. All this happened
|
|
quickly, and before the animal could get away, he encircled its
|
|
body with his arms. He sat down in the snow, and in this fashion
|
|
held the dog, while it snarled and whined and struggled.
|
|
|
|
But it was all he could do, hold its body encircled in his
|
|
arms and sit there. He realized that he could not kill the dog.
|
|
There was no way to do it. With his helpless hands he could
|
|
neither draw nor hold his sheath knife nor throttle the animal.
|
|
He released it, and it plunged wildly away, with tail between its
|
|
legs, and still snarling. It halted forty feet away surveyed him
|
|
curiously, with ears sharply pricked forward.
|
|
|
|
The man looked down at his hands in order to locate them,
|
|
and found them hanging on the ends of his arms. It struck him as
|
|
curious that one should have to use his eyes in order to find out
|
|
where his hands were. He began threshing his arms back and forth,
|
|
beating the mittened hands against his sides. He did this for
|
|
five minutes, violently, and his heart pumped enough blood up to
|
|
the surface to put a stop to his shivering. But no sensation was
|
|
aroused in his hands. He had an impression that they hung like
|
|
weights on the ends of his arms, but when he tried to run the
|
|
impression down, he could not find it.
|
|
|
|
A certain fear of death, dull and oppressive, came to him.
|
|
This fear quickly became poignant as he realized that it was no
|
|
longer a mere matter of freezing his fingers and toes, or of
|
|
losing his hands and feet, but that it was a matter of life and
|
|
death with the chances against him. This threw him into a panic,
|
|
and he turned and ran up the creek bed along the old, dim trail.
|
|
The dog joined in behind and kept up with him. He ran blindly,
|
|
without intention, in fear such as he had never known in his
|
|
life.
|
|
|
|
Slowly, as he plowed and floundered through the snow, he
|
|
began to see things again--the banks of the creek, the old timber
|
|
jams, the leafless aspens, and the sky. the running made him feel
|
|
better. He did not shiver. Maybe, if he ran on, his feet would
|
|
thaw out; and, anyway, if he ran far enough, he would reach camp
|
|
and the boys. Without doubt he would lose some fingers and toes
|
|
and some of his face; but the boys would take care of him, and
|
|
save the rest of him when he got there. And at the same time
|
|
there was another thought in his mind that said he would never
|
|
get to the camp and the boys; that it was too many miles away,
|
|
that the freezing had too great a start on him, and that he would
|
|
soon be stiff and dead. This thought he kept in the background
|
|
and refused to consider. Sometimes it pushed itself forward and
|
|
demanded to be heard, but he thrust it back and strove to think
|
|
of other things.
|
|
|
|
It struck him as curious that he could run at all on feet so
|
|
frozen that he could not feel them when they struck the earth and
|
|
took the weight of his body. He seemed to himself to skim along
|
|
above the surface, and to have no connection with the earth.
|
|
Somewhere he had once seen a winged Mercury, and he wondered if
|
|
Mercury felt as he felt when skimming over the earth.
|
|
|
|
His theory of running until he reached camp and the boys had
|
|
one flaw in it; he lacked the endurance. Several times he
|
|
stumbled, and finally he tottered, crumpled up, and fell. When he
|
|
tried to rise, he failed. He must sit and rest, he decided, and
|
|
next time he would merely walk and keep on going. As he sat and
|
|
regained his breath, he noted that he was feeling quite warm and
|
|
comfortable. He was not shivering, and it even seemed that a warm
|
|
glow had come to his chest and trunk. And yet, when he touched
|
|
his nose or cheeks, there was no sensation. Running would not
|
|
thaw them out. Nor would it thaw out his hands and feet. Then the
|
|
thought came to him that the frozen portions of his body must be
|
|
extending. He tried to keep this thought down, to forget it, to
|
|
think of something else; he was aware of the panicky feeling that
|
|
it caused, and he was afraid of the panic. But the thought
|
|
asserted itself, and persisted, until it produced a vision of his
|
|
body totally frozen. This was too much, and he made another wild
|
|
run along the trail. Once he slowed down to a walk, but the
|
|
thought of the freezing extending itself made him run again.
|
|
|
|
And all the time the dog ran with him, at his heels. When he
|
|
fell down a second time, it curled its tail over its forefeet and
|
|
sat in front of him, facing him, curiously eager and intent. The
|
|
warmth and security of the animal angered him, and he cursed it
|
|
till it flattened down its ears appeasingly. This time the
|
|
shivering came more quickly upon the man. He was losing his
|
|
battle with the frost. It was creeping into his body from all
|
|
sides. The thought of it drove him on, but he ran no more than a
|
|
hundred feet, when he staggered and pitched headlong. It was his
|
|
last panic. When he had recovered his breath and control, he sat
|
|
up and entertained in his mind the conception of meeting death
|
|
with dignity. However, the conception did not come to him in such
|
|
terms. His idea of it was that he had been making a fool of
|
|
himself, running around like a chicken with its head cut off--
|
|
such was the simile that occurred to him. Well, he was bound to
|
|
freeze anyway, and he might as well take it decently. With this
|
|
new-found peace of mind came the first glimmerings of drowsiness.
|
|
A good idea, he thought, to sleep off to death. It was like
|
|
taking an anesthetic. Freezing was not so bad a people thought.
|
|
There were lots worse ways to die.
|
|
|
|
He pictured the boys finding his body next day. Suddenly he
|
|
found himself with them, coming along the trail and looking for
|
|
himself. And, still with them, he came around a turn in the trail
|
|
and found himself lying in the snow. He did not belong with
|
|
himself any more, for even then he was out of himself, standing
|
|
with the boys and looking at himself in the snow. It certainly
|
|
was cold, was his thought. When he got back to the States he
|
|
could tell the folks what real cold was. He drifted on from this
|
|
to a vision of the old-timer on Sulphur Creek. He could see him
|
|
quite clearly, warm and comfortable, and smoking a pipe.
|
|
|
|
Then the man drowsed off into what seemed to him the most
|
|
comfortable and satisfying sleep he had ever known. The dog sat
|
|
facing and waiting. The brief day drew to a close in a long, slow
|
|
twilight. There were no signs of a fire to be made, and, besides,
|
|
never in the dog's experience had it known a man to sit like that
|
|
in the snow and make no fire. As the twilight drew on, its eager
|
|
yearning for the fire mastered it, and with a great lifting and
|
|
shifting of forefeet, it whined softly, then flattened out its
|
|
ears down in anticipation of being chidden by the man. But the
|
|
man remained silent. Later the dog whined loudly. And still later
|
|
it crept close to the man and caught the scent of death. This
|
|
made the animal bristle and back away. A little longer it
|
|
delayed, howling under the stars that leaped and danced and shone
|
|
brightly in the cold sky. Then it turned and trotted up the trail
|
|
in the direction of the camp it knew, where were the other food
|
|
providers and fire providers.
|
|
|
|
THE END
|
|
.
|