4359 lines
196 KiB
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4359 lines
196 KiB
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**The Project Gutenberg Etext of Haunted Man/Ghost's Bargain**
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#6 in our series by Charles Dickens
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The Haunted Man and The Ghost's Bargain
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September, 1996 [Etext #644]
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**The Project Gutenberg Etext of Haunted Man/Ghost's Bargain**
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*END*THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END*
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The Haunted Man and The Ghost's Bargain by Charles Dickens
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Scanned and proofed by David Price
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email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk
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The Haunted Man and The Ghost's Bargain
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CHAPTER I - The Gift Bestowed
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EVERYBODY said so.
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Far be it from me to assert that what everybody says must be true.
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Everybody is, often, as likely to be wrong as right. In the
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general experience, everybody has been wrong so often, and it has
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taken, in most instances, such a weary while to find out how wrong,
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that the authority is proved to be fallible. Everybody may
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sometimes be right; "but THAT'S no rule," as the ghost of Giles
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Scroggins says in the ballad.
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The dread word, GHOST, recalls me.
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Everybody said he looked like a haunted man. The extent of my
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present claim for everybody is, that they were so far right. He
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did.
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Who could have seen his hollow cheek; his sunken brilliant eye; his
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black-attired figure, indefinably grim, although well-knit and
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well-proportioned; his grizzled hair hanging, like tangled sea-
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weed, about his face, - as if he had been, through his whole life,
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a lonely mark for the chafing and beating of the great deep of
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humanity, - but might have said he looked like a haunted man?
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Who could have observed his manner, taciturn, thoughtful, gloomy,
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shadowed by habitual reserve, retiring always and jocund never,
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with a distraught air of reverting to a bygone place and time, or
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of listening to some old echoes in his mind, but might have said it
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was the manner of a haunted man?
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Who could have heard his voice, slow-speaking, deep, and grave,
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with a natural fulness and melody in it which he seemed to set
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himself against and stop, but might have said it was the voice of a
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haunted man?
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Who that had seen him in his inner chamber, part library and part
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laboratory, - for he was, as the world knew, far and wide, a
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learned man in chemistry, and a teacher on whose lips and hands a
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crowd of aspiring ears and eyes hung daily, - who that had seen him
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there, upon a winter night, alone, surrounded by his drugs and
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instruments and books; the shadow of his shaded lamp a monstrous
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beetle on the wall, motionless among a crowd of spectral shapes
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raised there by the flickering of the fire upon the quaint objects
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around him; some of these phantoms (the reflection of glass vessels
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that held liquids), trembling at heart like things that knew his
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power to uncombine them, and to give back their component parts to
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fire and vapour; - who that had seen him then, his work done, and
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he pondering in his chair before the rusted grate and red flame,
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moving his thin mouth as if in speech, but silent as the dead,
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would not have said that the man seemed haunted and the chamber
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too?
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Who might not, by a very easy flight of fancy, have believed that
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everything about him took this haunted tone, and that he lived on
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haunted ground?
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His dwelling was so solitary and vault-like, - an old, retired part
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of an ancient endowment for students, once a brave edifice, planted
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in an open place, but now the obsolete whim of forgotten
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architects; smoke-age-and-weather-darkened, squeezed on every side
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by the overgrowing of the great city, and choked, like an old well,
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with stones and bricks; its small quadrangles, lying down in very
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pits formed by the streets and buildings, which, in course of time,
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had been constructed above its heavy chimney stalks; its old trees,
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insulted by the neighbouring smoke, which deigned to droop so low
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when it was very feeble and the weather very moody; its grass-
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plots, struggling with the mildewed earth to be grass, or to win
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any show of compromise; its silent pavements, unaccustomed to the
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tread of feet, and even to the observation of eyes, except when a
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stray face looked down from the upper world, wondering what nook it
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was; its sun-dial in a little bricked-up corner, where no sun had
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straggled for a hundred years, but where, in compensation for the
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sun's neglect, the snow would lie for weeks when it lay nowhere
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else, and the black east wind would spin like a huge humming-top,
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when in all other places it was silent and still.
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His dwelling, at its heart and core - within doors - at his
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fireside - was so lowering and old, so crazy, yet so strong, with
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its worn-eaten beams of wood in the ceiling, and its sturdy floor
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shelving downward to the great oak chimney-piece; so environed and
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hemmed in by the pressure of the town yet so remote in fashion,
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age, and custom; so quiet, yet so thundering with echoes when a
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distant voice was raised or a door was shut, - echoes, not confined
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to the many low passages and empty rooms, but rumbling and
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grumbling till they were stifled in the heavy air of the forgotten
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Crypt where the Norman arches were half-buried in the earth.
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You should have seen him in his dwelling about twilight, in the
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dead winter time.
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When the wind was blowing, shrill and shrewd, with the going down
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of the blurred sun. When it was just so dark, as that the forms of
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things were indistinct and big - but not wholly lost. When sitters
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by the fire began to see wild faces and figures, mountains and
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abysses, ambuscades and armies, in the coals. When people in the
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streets bent down their heads and ran before the weather. When
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those who were obliged to meet it, were stopped at angry corners,
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stung by wandering snow-flakes alighting on the lashes of their
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eyes, - which fell too sparingly, and were blown away too quickly,
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to leave a trace upon the frozen ground. When windows of private
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houses closed up tight and warm. When lighted gas began to burst
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forth in the busy and the quiet streets, fast blackening otherwise.
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When stray pedestrians, shivering along the latter, looked down at
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the glowing fires in kitchens, and sharpened their sharp appetites
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by sniffing up the fragrance of whole miles of dinners.
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When travellers by land were bitter cold, and looked wearily on
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gloomy landscapes, rustling and shuddering in the blast. When
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mariners at sea, outlying upon icy yards, were tossed and swung
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|
above the howling ocean dreadfully. When lighthouses, on rocks and
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|
headlands, showed solitary and watchful; and benighted sea-birds
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breasted on against their ponderous lanterns, and fell dead. When
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little readers of story-books, by the firelight, trembled to think
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of Cassim Baba cut into quarters, hanging in the Robbers' Cave, or
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|
had some small misgivings that the fierce little old woman, with
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|
the crutch, who used to start out of the box in the merchant
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|
Abudah's bedroom, might, one of these nights, be found upon the
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stairs, in the long, cold, dusky journey up to bed.
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|
When, in rustic places, the last glimmering of daylight died away
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|
from the ends of avenues; and the trees, arching overhead, were
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|
sullen and black. When, in parks and woods, the high wet fern and
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|
sodden moss, and beds of fallen leaves, and trunks of trees, were
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|
lost to view, in masses of impenetrable shade. When mists arose
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|
from dyke, and fen, and river. When lights in old halls and in
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|
cottage windows, were a cheerful sight. When the mill stopped, the
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|
wheelwright and the blacksmith shut their workshops, the turnpike-
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|
gate closed, the plough and harrow were left lonely in the fields,
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|
the labourer and team went home, and the striking of the church
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|
clock had a deeper sound than at noon, and the churchyard wicket
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|
would be swung no more that night.
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When twilight everywhere released the shadows, prisoned up all day,
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|
that now closed in and gathered like mustering swarms of ghosts.
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|
When they stood lowering, in corners of rooms, and frowned out from
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|
behind half-opened doors. When they had full possession of
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|
unoccupied apartments. When they danced upon the floors, and
|
|
walls, and ceilings of inhabited chambers, while the fire was low,
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|
and withdrew like ebbing waters when it sprang into a blaze. When
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|
they fantastically mocked the shapes of household objects, making
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|
the nurse an ogress, the rocking-horse a monster, the wondering
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|
child, half-scared and half-amused, a stranger to itself, - the
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|
very tongs upon the hearth, a straddling giant with his arms a-
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|
kimbo, evidently smelling the blood of Englishmen, and wanting to
|
|
grind people's bones to make his bread.
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|
When these shadows brought into the minds of older people, other
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|
thoughts, and showed them different images. When they stole from
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|
their retreats, in the likenesses of forms and faces from the past,
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|
from the grave, from the deep, deep gulf, where the things that
|
|
might have been, and never were, are always wandering.
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When he sat, as already mentioned, gazing at the fire. When, as it
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rose and fell, the shadows went and came. When he took no heed of
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them, with his bodily eyes; but, let them come or let them go,
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|
looked fixedly at the fire. You should have seen him, then.
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When the sounds that had arisen with the shadows, and come out of
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|
their lurking-places at the twilight summons, seemed to make a
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|
deeper stillness all about him. When the wind was rumbling in the
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|
chimney, and sometimes crooning, sometimes howling, in the house.
|
|
When the old trees outside were so shaken and beaten, that one
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|
querulous old rook, unable to sleep, protested now and then, in a
|
|
feeble, dozy, high-up "Caw!" When, at intervals, the window
|
|
trembled, the rusty vane upon the turret-top complained, the clock
|
|
beneath it recorded that another quarter of an hour was gone, or
|
|
the fire collapsed and fell in with a rattle.
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- When a knock came at his door, in short, as he was sitting so,
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and roused him.
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"Who's that?" said he. "Come in!"
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Surely there had been no figure leaning on the back of his chair;
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|
no face looking over it. It is certain that no gliding footstep
|
|
touched the floor, as he lifted up his head, with a start, and
|
|
spoke. And yet there was no mirror in the room on whose surface
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|
his own form could have cast its shadow for a moment; and,
|
|
Something had passed darkly and gone!
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|
"I'm humbly fearful, sir," said a fresh-coloured busy man, holding
|
|
the door open with his foot for the admission of himself and a
|
|
wooden tray he carried, and letting it go again by very gentle and
|
|
careful degrees, when he and the tray had got in, lest it should
|
|
close noisily, "that it's a good bit past the time to-night. But
|
|
Mrs. William has been taken off her legs so often" -
|
|
|
|
"By the wind? Ay! I have heard it rising."
|
|
|
|
" - By the wind, sir - that it's a mercy she got home at all. Oh
|
|
dear, yes. Yes. It was by the wind, Mr. Redlaw. By the wind."
|
|
|
|
He had, by this time, put down the tray for dinner, and was
|
|
employed in lighting the lamp, and spreading a cloth on the table.
|
|
From this employment he desisted in a hurry, to stir and feed the
|
|
fire, and then resumed it; the lamp he had lighted, and the blaze
|
|
that rose under his hand, so quickly changing the appearance of the
|
|
room, that it seemed as if the mere coming in of his fresh red face
|
|
and active manner had made the pleasant alteration.
|
|
|
|
"Mrs. William is of course subject at any time, sir, to be taken
|
|
off her balance by the elements. She is not formed superior to
|
|
THAT."
|
|
|
|
"No," returned Mr. Redlaw good-naturedly, though abruptly.
|
|
|
|
"No, sir. Mrs. William may be taken off her balance by Earth; as
|
|
for example, last Sunday week, when sloppy and greasy, and she
|
|
going out to tea with her newest sister-in-law, and having a pride
|
|
in herself, and wishing to appear perfectly spotless though
|
|
pedestrian. Mrs. William may be taken off her balance by Air; as
|
|
being once over-persuaded by a friend to try a swing at Peckham
|
|
Fair, which acted on her constitution instantly like a steam-boat.
|
|
Mrs. William may be taken off her balance by Fire; as on a false
|
|
alarm of engines at her mother's, when she went two miles in her
|
|
nightcap. Mrs. William may be taken off her balance by Water; as
|
|
at Battersea, when rowed into the piers by her young nephew,
|
|
Charley Swidger junior, aged twelve, which had no idea of boats
|
|
whatever. But these are elements. Mrs. William must be taken out
|
|
of elements for the strength of HER character to come into play."
|
|
|
|
As he stopped for a reply, the reply was "Yes," in the same tone as
|
|
before.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, sir. Oh dear, yes!" said Mr. Swidger, still proceeding with
|
|
his preparations, and checking them off as he made them. "That's
|
|
where it is, sir. That's what I always say myself, sir. Such a
|
|
many of us Swidgers! - Pepper. Why there's my father, sir,
|
|
superannuated keeper and custodian of this Institution, eighty-
|
|
seven year old. He's a Swidger! - Spoon."
|
|
|
|
"True, William," was the patient and abstracted answer, when he
|
|
stopped again.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, sir," said Mr. Swidger. "That's what I always say, sir. You
|
|
may call him the trunk of the tree! - Bread. Then you come to his
|
|
successor, my unworthy self - Salt - and Mrs. William, Swidgers
|
|
both. - Knife and fork. Then you come to all my brothers and their
|
|
families, Swidgers, man and woman, boy and girl. Why, what with
|
|
cousins, uncles, aunts, and relationships of this, that, and
|
|
t'other degree, and whatnot degree, and marriages, and lyings-in,
|
|
the Swidgers - Tumbler - might take hold of hands, and make a ring
|
|
round England!
|
|
|
|
Receiving no reply at all here, from the thoughtful man whom he
|
|
addressed, Mr. William approached, him nearer, and made a feint of
|
|
accidentally knocking the table with a decanter, to rouse him. The
|
|
moment he succeeded, he went on, as if in great alacrity of
|
|
acquiescence.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, sir! That's just what I say myself, sir. Mrs. William and
|
|
me have often said so. 'There's Swidgers enough,' we say, 'without
|
|
OUR voluntary contributions,' - Butter. In fact, sir, my father is
|
|
a family in himself - Castors - to take care of; and it happens all
|
|
for the best that we have no child of our own, though it's made
|
|
Mrs. William rather quiet-like, too. Quite ready for the fowl and
|
|
mashed potatoes, sir? Mrs. William said she'd dish in ten minutes
|
|
when I left the Lodge."
|
|
|
|
"I am quite ready," said the other, waking as from a dream, and
|
|
walking slowly to and fro.
|
|
|
|
"Mrs. William has been at it again, sir!" said the keeper, as he
|
|
stood warming a plate at the fire, and pleasantly shading his face
|
|
with it. Mr. Redlaw stopped in his walking, and an expression of
|
|
interest appeared in him.
|
|
|
|
"What I always say myself, sir. She WILL do it! There's a
|
|
motherly feeling in Mrs. William's breast that must and will have
|
|
went."
|
|
|
|
"What has she done?"
|
|
|
|
"Why, sir, not satisfied with being a sort of mother to all the
|
|
young gentlemen that come up from a variety of parts, to attend
|
|
your courses of lectures at this ancient foundation - its
|
|
surprising how stone-chaney catches the heat this frosty weather,
|
|
to be sure!" Here he turned the plate, and cooled his fingers.
|
|
|
|
"Well?" said Mr. Redlaw.
|
|
|
|
"That's just what I say myself, sir," returned Mr. William,
|
|
speaking over his shoulder, as if in ready and delighted assent.
|
|
"That's exactly where it is, sir! There ain't one of our students
|
|
but appears to regard Mrs. William in that light. Every day, right
|
|
through the course, they puts their heads into the Lodge, one after
|
|
another, and have all got something to tell her, or something to
|
|
ask her. 'Swidge' is the appellation by which they speak of Mrs.
|
|
William in general, among themselves, I'm told; but that's what I
|
|
say, sir. Better be called ever so far out of your name, if it's
|
|
done in real liking, than have it made ever so much of, and not
|
|
cared about! What's a name for? To know a person by. If Mrs.
|
|
William is known by something better than her name - I allude to
|
|
Mrs. William's qualities and disposition - never mind her name,
|
|
though it IS Swidger, by rights. Let 'em call her Swidge, Widge,
|
|
Bridge - Lord! London Bridge, Blackfriars, Chelsea, Putney,
|
|
Waterloo, or Hammersmith Suspension - if they like."
|
|
|
|
The close of this triumphant oration brought him and the plate to
|
|
the table, upon which he half laid and half dropped it, with a
|
|
lively sense of its being thoroughly heated, just as the subject of
|
|
his praises entered the room, bearing another tray and a lantern,
|
|
and followed by a venerable old man with long grey hair.
|
|
|
|
Mrs. William, like Mr. William, was a simple, innocent-looking
|
|
person, in whose smooth cheeks the cheerful red of her husband's
|
|
official waistcoat was very pleasantly repeated. But whereas Mr.
|
|
William's light hair stood on end all over his head, and seemed to
|
|
draw his eyes up with it in an excess of bustling readiness for
|
|
anything, the dark brown hair of Mrs. William was carefully
|
|
smoothed down, and waved away under a trim tidy cap, in the most
|
|
exact and quiet manner imaginable. Whereas Mr. William's very
|
|
trousers hitched themselves up at the ankles, as if it were not in
|
|
their iron-grey nature to rest without looking about them, Mrs.
|
|
William's neatly-flowered skirts - red and white, like her own
|
|
pretty face - were as composed and orderly, as if the very wind
|
|
that blew so hard out of doors could not disturb one of their
|
|
folds. Whereas his coat had something of a fly-away and half-off
|
|
appearance about the collar and breast, her little bodice was so
|
|
placid and neat, that there should have been protection for her, in
|
|
it, had she needed any, with the roughest people. Who could have
|
|
had the heart to make so calm a bosom swell with grief, or throb
|
|
with fear, or flutter with a thought of shame! To whom would its
|
|
repose and peace have not appealed against disturbance, like the
|
|
innocent slumber of a child!
|
|
|
|
"Punctual, of course, Milly," said her husband, relieving her of
|
|
the tray, "or it wouldn't be you. Here's Mrs. William, sir! - He
|
|
looks lonelier than ever to-night," whispering to his wife, as he
|
|
was taking the tray, "and ghostlier altogether."
|
|
|
|
Without any show of hurry or noise, or any show of herself even,
|
|
she was so calm and quiet, Milly set the dishes she had brought
|
|
upon the table, - Mr. William, after much clattering and running
|
|
about, having only gained possession of a butter-boat of gravy,
|
|
which he stood ready to serve.
|
|
|
|
"What is that the old man has in his arms?" asked Mr. Redlaw, as he
|
|
sat down to his solitary meal.
|
|
|
|
"Holly, sir," replied the quiet voice of Milly.
|
|
|
|
"That's what I say myself, sir," interposed Mr. William, striking
|
|
in with the butter-boat. "Berries is so seasonable to the time of
|
|
year! - Brown gravy!"
|
|
|
|
"Another Christmas come, another year gone!" murmured the Chemist,
|
|
with a gloomy sigh. "More figures in the lengthening sum of
|
|
recollection that we work and work at to our torment, till Death
|
|
idly jumbles all together, and rubs all out. So, Philip!" breaking
|
|
off, and raising his voice as he addressed the old man, standing
|
|
apart, with his glistening burden in his arms, from which the quiet
|
|
Mrs. William took small branches, which she noiselessly trimmed
|
|
with her scissors, and decorated the room with, while her aged
|
|
father-in-law looked on much interested in the ceremony.
|
|
|
|
"My duty to you, sir," returned the old man. "Should have spoke
|
|
before, sir, but know your ways, Mr. Redlaw - proud to say - and
|
|
wait till spoke to! Merry Christmas, sir, and Happy New Year, and
|
|
many of 'em. Have had a pretty many of 'em myself - ha, ha! - and
|
|
may take the liberty of wishing 'em. I'm eighty-seven!"
|
|
|
|
"Have you had so many that were merry and happy?" asked the other.
|
|
|
|
"Ay, sir, ever so many," returned the old man.
|
|
|
|
"Is his memory impaired with age? It is to be expected now," said
|
|
Mr. Redlaw, turning to the son, and speaking lower.
|
|
|
|
"Not a morsel of it, sir," replied Mr. William. "That's exactly
|
|
what I say myself, sir. There never was such a memory as my
|
|
father's. He's the most wonderful man in the world. He don't know
|
|
what forgetting means. It's the very observation I'm always making
|
|
to Mrs. William, sir, if you'll believe me!"
|
|
|
|
Mr. Swidger, in his polite desire to seem to acquiesce at all
|
|
events, delivered this as if there were no iota of contradiction in
|
|
it, and it were all said in unbounded and unqualified assent.
|
|
|
|
The Chemist pushed his plate away, and, rising from the table,
|
|
walked across the room to where the old man stood looking at a
|
|
little sprig of holly in his hand.
|
|
|
|
"It recalls the time when many of those years were old and new,
|
|
then?" he said, observing him attentively, and touching him on the
|
|
shoulder. "Does it?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh many, many!" said Philip, half awaking from his reverie. "I'm
|
|
eighty-seven!"
|
|
|
|
"Merry and happy, was it?" asked the Chemist in a low voice.
|
|
"Merry and happy, old man?"
|
|
|
|
"Maybe as high as that, no higher," said the old man, holding out
|
|
his hand a little way above the level of his knee, and looking
|
|
retrospectively at his questioner, "when I first remember 'em!
|
|
Cold, sunshiny day it was, out a-walking, when some one - it was my
|
|
mother as sure as you stand there, though I don't know what her
|
|
blessed face was like, for she took ill and died that Christmas-
|
|
time - told me they were food for birds. The pretty little fellow
|
|
thought - that's me, you understand - that birds' eyes were so
|
|
bright, perhaps, because the berries that they lived on in the
|
|
winter were so bright. I recollect that. And I'm eighty-seven!"
|
|
|
|
"Merry and happy!" mused the other, bending his dark eyes upon the
|
|
stooping figure, with a smile of compassion. "Merry and happy -
|
|
and remember well?"
|
|
|
|
"Ay, ay, ay!" resumed the old man, catching the last words. "I
|
|
remember 'em well in my school time, year after year, and all the
|
|
merry-making that used to come along with them. I was a strong
|
|
chap then, Mr. Redlaw; and, if you'll believe me, hadn't my match
|
|
at football within ten mile. Where's my son William? Hadn't my
|
|
match at football, William, within ten mile!"
|
|
|
|
That's what I always say, father!" returned the son promptly, and
|
|
with great respect. "You ARE a Swidger, if ever there was one of
|
|
the family!"
|
|
|
|
"Dear!" said the old man, shaking his head as he again looked at
|
|
the holly. "His mother - my son William's my youngest son - and I,
|
|
have sat among em' all, boys and girls, little children and babies,
|
|
many a year, when the berries like these were not shining half so
|
|
bright all round us, as their bright faces. Many of 'em are gone;
|
|
she's gone; and my son George (our eldest, who was her pride more
|
|
than all the rest!) is fallen very low: but I can see them, when I
|
|
look here, alive and healthy, as they used to be in those days; and
|
|
I can see him, thank God, in his innocence. It's a blessed thing
|
|
to me, at eighty-seven."
|
|
|
|
The keen look that had been fixed upon him with so much
|
|
earnestness, had gradually sought the ground.
|
|
|
|
"When my circumstances got to be not so good as formerly, through
|
|
not being honestly dealt by, and I first come here to be
|
|
custodian," said the old man, " - which was upwards of fifty years
|
|
ago - where's my son William? More than half a century ago,
|
|
William!"
|
|
|
|
"That's what I say, father," replied the son, as promptly and
|
|
dutifully as before, "that's exactly where it is. Two times
|
|
ought's an ought, and twice five ten, and there's a hundred of
|
|
'em."
|
|
|
|
"It was quite a pleasure to know that one of our founders - or more
|
|
correctly speaking," said the old man, with a great glory in his
|
|
subject and his knowledge of it, "one of the learned gentlemen that
|
|
helped endow us in Queen Elizabeth's time, for we were founded
|
|
afore her day - left in his will, among the other bequests he made
|
|
us, so much to buy holly, for garnishing the walls and windows,
|
|
come Christmas. There was something homely and friendly in it.
|
|
Being but strange here, then, and coming at Christmas time, we took
|
|
a liking for his very picter that hangs in what used to be,
|
|
anciently, afore our ten poor gentlemen commuted for an annual
|
|
stipend in money, our great Dinner Hall. - A sedate gentleman in a
|
|
peaked beard, with a ruff round his neck, and a scroll below him,
|
|
in old English letters, 'Lord! keep my memory green!' You know all
|
|
about him, Mr. Redlaw?"
|
|
|
|
"I know the portrait hangs there, Philip."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, sure, it's the second on the right, above the panelling. I
|
|
was going to say - he has helped to keep MY memory green, I thank
|
|
him; for going round the building every year, as I'm a doing now,
|
|
and freshening up the bare rooms with these branches and berries,
|
|
freshens up my bare old brain. One year brings back another, and
|
|
that year another, and those others numbers! At last, it seems to
|
|
me as if the birth-time of our Lord was the birth-time of all I
|
|
have ever had affection for, or mourned for, or delighted in, - and
|
|
they're a pretty many, for I'm eighty-seven!"
|
|
|
|
"Merry and happy," murmured Redlaw to himself.
|
|
|
|
The room began to darken strangely.
|
|
|
|
"So you see, sir," pursued old Philip, whose hale wintry cheek had
|
|
warmed into a ruddier glow, and whose blue eyes had brightened
|
|
while he spoke, "I have plenty to keep, when I keep this present
|
|
season. Now, where's my quiet Mouse? Chattering's the sin of my
|
|
time of life, and there's half the building to do yet, if the cold
|
|
don't freeze us first, or the wind don't blow us away, or the
|
|
darkness don't swallow us up."
|
|
|
|
The quiet Mouse had brought her calm face to his side, and silently
|
|
taken his arm, before he finished speaking.
|
|
|
|
"Come away, my dear," said the old man. "Mr. Redlaw won't settle
|
|
to his dinner, otherwise, till it's cold as the winter. I hope
|
|
you'll excuse me rambling on, sir, and I wish you good night, and,
|
|
once again, a merry - "
|
|
|
|
"Stay!" said Mr. Redlaw, resuming his place at the table, more, it
|
|
would have seemed from his manner, to reassure the old keeper, than
|
|
in any remembrance of his own appetite. "Spare me another moment,
|
|
Philip. William, you were going to tell me something to your
|
|
excellent wife's honour. It will not be disagreeable to her to
|
|
hear you praise her. What was it?"
|
|
|
|
"Why, that's where it is, you see, sir," returned Mr. William
|
|
Swidger, looking towards his wife in considerable embarrassment.
|
|
"Mrs. William's got her eye upon me."
|
|
|
|
"But you're not afraid of Mrs. William's eye?"
|
|
|
|
"Why, no, sir," returned Mr. Swidger, "that's what I say myself.
|
|
It wasn't made to be afraid of. It wouldn't have been made so
|
|
mild, if that was the intention. But I wouldn't like to - Milly! -
|
|
him, you know. Down in the Buildings."
|
|
|
|
Mr. William, standing behind the table, and rummaging
|
|
disconcertedly among the objects upon it, directed persuasive
|
|
glances at Mrs. William, and secret jerks of his head and thumb at
|
|
Mr. Redlaw, as alluring her towards him.
|
|
|
|
"Him, you know, my love," said Mr. William. "Down in the
|
|
Buildings. Tell, my dear! You're the works of Shakespeare in
|
|
comparison with myself. Down in the Buildings, you know, my love.
|
|
- Student."
|
|
|
|
"Student?" repeated Mr. Redlaw, raising his head.
|
|
|
|
"That's what I say, sir!" cried Mr. William, in the utmost
|
|
animation of assent. "If it wasn't the poor student down in the
|
|
Buildings, why should you wish to hear it from Mrs. William's lips?
|
|
Mrs. William, my dear - Buildings."
|
|
|
|
"I didn't know," said Milly, with a quiet frankness, free from any
|
|
haste or confusion, "that William had said anything about it, or I
|
|
wouldn't have come. I asked him not to. It's a sick young
|
|
gentleman, sir - and very poor, I am afraid - who is too ill to go
|
|
home this holiday-time, and lives, unknown to any one, in but a
|
|
common kind of lodging for a gentleman, down in Jerusalem
|
|
Buildings. That's all, sir."
|
|
|
|
"Why have I never heard of him?" said the Chemist, rising
|
|
hurriedly. "Why has he not made his situation known to me? Sick!
|
|
- give me my hat and cloak. Poor! - what house? - what number?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, you mustn't go there, sir," said Milly, leaving her father-in-
|
|
law, and calmly confronting him with her collected little face and
|
|
folded hands.
|
|
|
|
"Not go there?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh dear, no!" said Milly, shaking her head as at a most manifest
|
|
and self-evident impossibility. "It couldn't be thought of!"
|
|
|
|
"What do you mean? Why not?"
|
|
|
|
"Why, you see, sir," said Mr. William Swidger, persuasively and
|
|
confidentially, "that's what I say. Depend upon it, the young
|
|
gentleman would never have made his situation known to one of his
|
|
own sex. Mrs. Williams has got into his confidence, but that's
|
|
quite different. They all confide in Mrs. William; they all trust
|
|
HER. A man, sir, couldn't have got a whisper out of him; but
|
|
woman, sir, and Mrs. William combined - !"
|
|
|
|
"There is good sense and delicacy in what you say, William,"
|
|
returned Mr. Redlaw, observant of the gentle and composed face at
|
|
his shoulder. And laying his finger on his lip, he secretly put
|
|
his purse into her hand.
|
|
|
|
"Oh dear no, sir!" cried Milly, giving it back again. "Worse and
|
|
worse! Couldn't be dreamed of!"
|
|
|
|
Such a staid matter-of-fact housewife she was, and so unruffled by
|
|
the momentary haste of this rejection, that, an instant afterwards,
|
|
she was tidily picking up a few leaves which had strayed from
|
|
between her scissors and her apron, when she had arranged the
|
|
holly.
|
|
|
|
Finding, when she rose from her stooping posture, that Mr. Redlaw
|
|
was still regarding her with doubt and astonishment, she quietly
|
|
repeated - looking about, the while, for any other fragments that
|
|
might have escaped her observation:
|
|
|
|
"Oh dear no, sir! He said that of all the world he would not be
|
|
known to you, or receive help from you - though he is a student in
|
|
your class. I have made no terms of secrecy with you, but I trust
|
|
to your honour completely."
|
|
|
|
"Why did he say so?"
|
|
|
|
"Indeed I can't tell, sir," said Milly, after thinking a little,
|
|
"because I am not at all clever, you know; and I wanted to be
|
|
useful to him in making things neat and comfortable about him, and
|
|
employed myself that way. But I know he is poor, and lonely, and I
|
|
think he is somehow neglected too. - How dark it is!"
|
|
|
|
The room had darkened more and more. There was a very heavy gloom
|
|
and shadow gathering behind the Chemist's chair.
|
|
|
|
"What more about him?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
"He is engaged to be married when he can afford it," said Milly,
|
|
"and is studying, I think, to qualify himself to earn a living. I
|
|
have seen, a long time, that he has studied hard and denied himself
|
|
much. - How very dark it is!"
|
|
|
|
"It's turned colder, too," said the old man, rubbing his hands.
|
|
"There's a chill and dismal feeling in the room. Where's my son
|
|
William? William, my boy, turn the lamp, and rouse the fire!"
|
|
|
|
Milly's voice resumed, like quiet music very softly played:
|
|
|
|
"He muttered in his broken sleep yesterday afternoon, after talking
|
|
to me" (this was to herself) "about some one dead, and some great
|
|
wrong done that could never be forgotten; but whether to him or to
|
|
another person, I don't know. Not BY him, I am sure."
|
|
|
|
"And, in short, Mrs. William, you see - which she wouldn't say
|
|
herself, Mr. Redlaw, if she was to stop here till the new year
|
|
after this next one - " said Mr. William, coming up to him to speak
|
|
in his ear, "has done him worlds of good! Bless you, worlds of
|
|
good! All at home just the same as ever - my father made as snug
|
|
and comfortable - not a crumb of litter to be found in the house,
|
|
if you were to offer fifty pound ready money for it - Mrs. William
|
|
apparently never out of the way - yet Mrs. William backwards and
|
|
forwards, backwards and forwards, up and down, up and down, a
|
|
mother to him!"
|
|
|
|
The room turned darker and colder, and the gloom and shadow
|
|
gathering behind the chair was heavier.
|
|
|
|
"Not content with this, sir, Mrs. William goes and finds, this very
|
|
night, when she was coming home (why it's not above a couple of
|
|
hours ago), a creature more like a young wild beast than a young
|
|
child, shivering upon a door-step. What does Mrs. William do, but
|
|
brings it home to dry it, and feed it, and keep it till our old
|
|
Bounty of food and flannel is given away, on Christmas morning! If
|
|
it ever felt a fire before, it's as much as ever it did; for it's
|
|
sitting in the old Lodge chimney, staring at ours as if its
|
|
ravenous eyes would never shut again. It's sitting there, at
|
|
least," said Mr. William, correcting himself, on reflection,
|
|
"unless it's bolted!"
|
|
|
|
"Heaven keep her happy!" said the Chemist aloud, "and you too,
|
|
Philip! and you, William! I must consider what to do in this. I
|
|
may desire to see this student, I'll not detain you any longer now.
|
|
Good-night!"
|
|
|
|
"I thank'ee, sir, I thank'ee!" said the old man, "for Mouse, and
|
|
for my son William, and for myself. Where's my son William?
|
|
William, you take the lantern and go on first, through them long
|
|
dark passages, as you did last year and the year afore. Ha ha! I
|
|
remember - though I'm eighty-seven! 'Lord, keep my memory green!'
|
|
It's a very good prayer, Mr. Redlaw, that of the learned gentleman
|
|
in the peaked beard, with a ruff round his neck - hangs up, second
|
|
on the right above the panelling, in what used to be, afore our ten
|
|
poor gentlemen commuted, our great Dinner Hall. 'Lord, keep my
|
|
memory green!' It's very good and pious, sir. Amen! Amen!"
|
|
|
|
As they passed out and shut the heavy door, which, however
|
|
carefully withheld, fired a long train of thundering reverberations
|
|
when it shut at last, the room turned darker.
|
|
|
|
As he fell a musing in his chair alone, the healthy holly withered
|
|
on the wall, and dropped - dead branches.
|
|
|
|
As the gloom and shadow thickened behind him, in that place where
|
|
it had been gathering so darkly, it took, by slow degrees, - or out
|
|
of it there came, by some unreal, unsubstantial process - not to be
|
|
traced by any human sense, - an awful likeness of himself!
|
|
|
|
Ghastly and cold, colourless in its leaden face and hands, but with
|
|
his features, and his bright eyes, and his grizzled hair, and
|
|
dressed in the gloomy shadow of his dress, it came into his
|
|
terrible appearance of existence, motionless, without a sound. As
|
|
HE leaned his arm upon the elbow of his chair, ruminating before
|
|
the fire, IT leaned upon the chair-back, close above him, with its
|
|
appalling copy of his face looking where his face looked, and
|
|
bearing the expression his face bore.
|
|
|
|
This, then, was the Something that had passed and gone already.
|
|
This was the dread companion of the haunted man!
|
|
|
|
It took, for some moments, no more apparent heed of him, than he of
|
|
it. The Christmas Waits were playing somewhere in the distance,
|
|
and, through his thoughtfulness, he seemed to listen to the music.
|
|
It seemed to listen too.
|
|
|
|
At length he spoke; without moving or lifting up his face.
|
|
|
|
"Here again!" he said.
|
|
|
|
"Here again," replied the Phantom.
|
|
|
|
"I see you in the fire," said the haunted man; "I hear you in
|
|
music, in the wind, in the dead stillness of the night."
|
|
|
|
The Phantom moved its head, assenting.
|
|
|
|
"Why do you come, to haunt me thus?"
|
|
|
|
"I come as I am called," replied the Ghost.
|
|
|
|
"No. Unbidden," exclaimed the Chemist.
|
|
|
|
"Unbidden be it," said the Spectre. "It is enough. I am here."
|
|
|
|
Hitherto the light of the fire had shone on the two faces - if the
|
|
dread lineaments behind the chair might be called a face - both
|
|
addressed towards it, as at first, and neither looking at the
|
|
other. But, now, the haunted man turned, suddenly, and stared upon
|
|
the Ghost. The Ghost, as sudden in its motion, passed to before
|
|
the chair, and stared on him.
|
|
|
|
The living man, and the animated image of himself dead, might so
|
|
have looked, the one upon the other. An awful survey, in a lonely
|
|
and remote part of an empty old pile of building, on a winter
|
|
night, with the loud wind going by upon its journey of mystery -
|
|
whence or whither, no man knowing since the world began - and the
|
|
stars, in unimaginable millions, glittering through it, from
|
|
eternal space, where the world's bulk is as a grain, and its hoary
|
|
age is infancy.
|
|
|
|
"Look upon me!" said the Spectre. "I am he, neglected in my youth,
|
|
and miserably poor, who strove and suffered, and still strove and
|
|
suffered, until I hewed out knowledge from the mine where it was
|
|
buried, and made rugged steps thereof, for my worn feet to rest and
|
|
rise on."
|
|
|
|
"I AM that man," returned the Chemist.
|
|
|
|
"No mother's self-denying love," pursued the Phantom, "no father's
|
|
counsel, aided ME. A stranger came into my father's place when I
|
|
was but a child, and I was easily an alien from my mother's heart.
|
|
My parents, at the best, were of that sort whose care soon ends,
|
|
and whose duty is soon done; who cast their offspring loose, early,
|
|
as birds do theirs; and, if they do well, claim the merit; and, if
|
|
ill, the pity."
|
|
|
|
It paused, and seemed to tempt and goad him with its look, and with
|
|
the manner of its speech, and with its smile.
|
|
|
|
"I am he," pursued the Phantom, "who, in this struggle upward,
|
|
found a friend. I made him - won him - bound him to me! We worked
|
|
together, side by side. All the love and confidence that in my
|
|
earlier youth had had no outlet, and found no expression, I
|
|
bestowed on him."
|
|
|
|
"Not all," said Redlaw, hoarsely.
|
|
|
|
"No, not all," returned the Phantom. "I had a sister."
|
|
|
|
The haunted man, with his head resting on his hands, replied "I
|
|
had!" The Phantom, with an evil smile, drew closer to the chair,
|
|
and resting its chin upon its folded hands, its folded hands upon
|
|
the back, and looking down into his face with searching eyes, that
|
|
seemed instinct with fire, went on:
|
|
|
|
"Such glimpses of the light of home as I had ever known, had
|
|
streamed from her. How young she was, how fair, how loving! I
|
|
took her to the first poor roof that I was master of, and made it
|
|
rich. She came into the darkness of my life, and made it bright. -
|
|
She is before me!"
|
|
|
|
"I saw her, in the fire, but now. I hear her in music, in the
|
|
wind, in the dead stillness of the night," returned the haunted
|
|
man.
|
|
|
|
"DID he love her?" said the Phantom, echoing his contemplative
|
|
tone. "I think he did, once. I am sure he did. Better had she
|
|
loved him less - less secretly, less dearly, from the shallower
|
|
depths of a more divided heart!"
|
|
|
|
"Let me forget it!" said the Chemist, with an angry motion of his
|
|
hand. "Let me blot it from my memory!"
|
|
|
|
The Spectre, without stirring, and with its unwinking, cruel eyes
|
|
still fixed upon his face, went on:
|
|
|
|
"A dream, like hers, stole upon my own life."
|
|
|
|
"It did," said Redlaw.
|
|
|
|
" A love, as like hers," pursued the Phantom, "as my inferior
|
|
nature might cherish, arose in my own heart. I was too poor to
|
|
bind its object to my fortune then, by any thread of promise or
|
|
entreaty. I loved her far too well, to seek to do it. But, more
|
|
than ever I had striven in my life, I strove to climb! Only an
|
|
inch gained, brought me something nearer to the height. I toiled
|
|
up! In the late pauses of my labour at that time, - my sister
|
|
(sweet companion!) still sharing with me the expiring embers and
|
|
the cooling hearth, - when day was breaking, what pictures of the
|
|
future did I see!"
|
|
|
|
"I saw them, in the fire, but now," he murmured. "They come back
|
|
to me in music, in the wind, in the dead stillness of the night, in
|
|
the revolving years."
|
|
|
|
" - Pictures of my own domestic life, in aftertime, with her who
|
|
was the inspiration of my toil. Pictures of my sister, made the
|
|
wife of my dear friend, on equal terms - for he had some
|
|
inheritance, we none - pictures of our sobered age and mellowed
|
|
happiness, and of the golden links, extending back so far, that
|
|
should bind us, and our children, in a radiant garland," said the
|
|
Phantom.
|
|
|
|
"Pictures," said the haunted man, "that were delusions. Why is it
|
|
my doom to remember them too well!"
|
|
|
|
"Delusions," echoed the Phantom in its changeless voice, and
|
|
glaring on him with its changeless eyes. "For my friend (in whose
|
|
breast my confidence was locked as in my own), passing between me
|
|
and the centre of the system of my hopes and struggles, won her to
|
|
himself, and shattered my frail universe. My sister, doubly dear,
|
|
doubly devoted, doubly cheerful in my home, lived on to see me
|
|
famous, and my old ambition so rewarded when its spring was broken,
|
|
and then - "
|
|
|
|
"Then died," he interposed. "Died, gentle as ever; happy; and with
|
|
no concern but for her brother. Peace!"
|
|
|
|
The Phantom watched him silently.
|
|
|
|
"Remembered!" said the haunted man, after a pause. "Yes. So well
|
|
remembered, that even now, when years have passed, and nothing is
|
|
more idle or more visionary to me than the boyish love so long
|
|
outlived, I think of it with sympathy, as if it were a younger
|
|
brother's or a son's. Sometimes I even wonder when her heart first
|
|
inclined to him, and how it had been affected towards me. - Not
|
|
lightly, once, I think. - But that is nothing. Early unhappiness,
|
|
a wound from a hand I loved and trusted, and a loss that nothing
|
|
can replace, outlive such fancies."
|
|
|
|
"Thus," said the Phantom, "I bear within me a Sorrow and a Wrong.
|
|
Thus I prey upon myself. Thus, memory is my curse; and, if I could
|
|
forget my sorrow and my wrong, I would!"
|
|
|
|
"Mocker!" said the Chemist, leaping up, and making, with a wrathful
|
|
hand, at the throat of his other self. "Why have I always that
|
|
taunt in my ears?"
|
|
|
|
"Forbear!" exclaimed the Spectre in an awful voice. "Lay a hand on
|
|
Me, and die!"
|
|
|
|
He stopped midway, as if its words had paralysed him, and stood
|
|
looking on it. It had glided from him; it had its arm raised high
|
|
in warning; and a smile passed over its unearthly features, as it
|
|
reared its dark figure in triumph.
|
|
|
|
"If I could forget my sorrow and wrong, I would," the Ghost
|
|
repeated. "If I could forget my sorrow and my wrong, I would!"
|
|
|
|
"Evil spirit of myself," returned the haunted man, in a low,
|
|
trembling tone, "my life is darkened by that incessant whisper."
|
|
|
|
"It is an echo," said the Phantom.
|
|
|
|
"If it be an echo of my thoughts - as now, indeed, I know it is,"
|
|
rejoined the haunted man, "why should I, therefore, be tormented?
|
|
It is not a selfish thought. I suffer it to range beyond myself.
|
|
All men and women have their sorrows, - most of them their wrongs;
|
|
ingratitude, and sordid jealousy, and interest, besetting all
|
|
degrees of life. Who would not forget their sorrows and their
|
|
wrongs?"
|
|
|
|
"Who would not, truly, and be happier and better for it?" said the
|
|
Phantom.
|
|
|
|
"These revolutions of years, which we commemorate," proceeded
|
|
Redlaw, "what do THEY recall! Are there any minds in which they do
|
|
not re-awaken some sorrow, or some trouble? What is the
|
|
remembrance of the old man who was here to-night? A tissue of
|
|
sorrow and trouble."
|
|
|
|
"But common natures," said the Phantom, with its evil smile upon
|
|
its glassy face, "unenlightened minds and ordinary spirits, do not
|
|
feel or reason on these things like men of higher cultivation and
|
|
profounder thought."
|
|
|
|
"Tempter," answered Redlaw, "whose hollow look and voice I dread
|
|
more than words can express, and from whom some dim foreshadowing
|
|
of greater fear is stealing over me while I speak, I hear again an
|
|
echo of my own mind."
|
|
|
|
"Receive it as a proof that I am powerful," returned the Ghost.
|
|
"Hear what I offer! Forget the sorrow, wrong, and trouble you have
|
|
known!"
|
|
|
|
"Forget them!" he repeated.
|
|
|
|
"I have the power to cancel their remembrance - to leave but very
|
|
faint, confused traces of them, that will die out soon," returned
|
|
the Spectre. "Say! Is it done?"
|
|
|
|
"Stay!" cried the haunted man, arresting by a terrified gesture the
|
|
uplifted hand. "I tremble with distrust and doubt of you; and the
|
|
dim fear you cast upon me deepens into a nameless horror I can
|
|
hardly bear. - I would not deprive myself of any kindly
|
|
recollection, or any sympathy that is good for me, or others. What
|
|
shall I lose, if I assent to this? What else will pass from my
|
|
remembrance?"
|
|
|
|
"No knowledge; no result of study; nothing but the intertwisted
|
|
chain of feelings and associations, each in its turn dependent on,
|
|
and nourished by, the banished recollections. Those will go."
|
|
|
|
"Are they so many?" said the haunted man, reflecting in alarm.
|
|
|
|
"They have been wont to show themselves in the fire, in music, in
|
|
the wind, in the dead stillness of the night, in the revolving
|
|
years," returned the Phantom scornfully.
|
|
|
|
"In nothing else?"
|
|
|
|
The Phantom held its peace.
|
|
|
|
But having stood before him, silent, for a little while, it moved
|
|
towards the fire; then stopped.
|
|
|
|
"Decide!" it said, "before the opportunity is lost!"
|
|
|
|
"A moment! I call Heaven to witness," said the agitated man, "that
|
|
I have never been a hater of any kind, - never morose, indifferent,
|
|
or hard, to anything around me. If, living here alone, I have made
|
|
too much of all that was and might have been, and too little of
|
|
what is, the evil, I believe, has fallen on me, and not on others.
|
|
But, if there were poison in my body, should I not, possessed of
|
|
antidotes and knowledge how to use them, use them? If there be
|
|
poison in my mind, and through this fearful shadow I can cast it
|
|
out, shall I not cast it out?"
|
|
|
|
"Say," said the Spectre, "is it done?"
|
|
|
|
"A moment longer!" he answered hurriedly. "I WOULD FORGET IT IF I
|
|
COULD! Have I thought that, alone, or has it been the thought of
|
|
thousands upon thousands, generation after generation? All human
|
|
memory is fraught with sorrow and trouble. My memory is as the
|
|
memory of other men, but other men have not this choice. Yes, I
|
|
close the bargain. Yes! I WILL forget my sorrow, wrong, and
|
|
trouble!"
|
|
|
|
"Say," said the Spectre, "is it done?"
|
|
|
|
"It is!"
|
|
|
|
"IT IS. And take this with you, man whom I here renounce! The
|
|
gift that I have given, you shall give again, go where you will.
|
|
Without recovering yourself the power that you have yielded up, you
|
|
shall henceforth destroy its like in all whom you approach. Your
|
|
wisdom has discovered that the memory of sorrow, wrong, and trouble
|
|
is the lot of all mankind, and that mankind would be the happier,
|
|
in its other memories, without it. Go! Be its benefactor! Freed
|
|
from such remembrance, from this hour, carry involuntarily the
|
|
blessing of such freedom with you. Its diffusion is inseparable
|
|
and inalienable from you. Go! Be happy in the good you have won,
|
|
and in the good you do!"
|
|
|
|
The Phantom, which had held its bloodless hand above him while it
|
|
spoke, as if in some unholy invocation, or some ban; and which had
|
|
gradually advanced its eyes so close to his, that he could see how
|
|
they did not participate in the terrible smile upon its face, but
|
|
were a fixed, unalterable, steady horror melted before him and was
|
|
gone.
|
|
|
|
As he stood rooted to the spot, possessed by fear and wonder, and
|
|
imagining he heard repeated in melancholy echoes, dying away
|
|
fainter and fainter, the words, "Destroy its like in all whom you
|
|
approach!" a shrill cry reached his ears. It came, not from the
|
|
passages beyond the door, but from another part of the old
|
|
building, and sounded like the cry of some one in the dark who had
|
|
lost the way.
|
|
|
|
He looked confusedly upon his hands and limbs, as if to be assured
|
|
of his identity, and then shouted in reply, loudly and wildly; for
|
|
there was a strangeness and terror upon him, as if he too were
|
|
lost.
|
|
|
|
The cry responding, and being nearer, he caught up the lamp, and
|
|
raised a heavy curtain in the wall, by which he was accustomed to
|
|
pass into and out of the theatre where he lectured, - which
|
|
adjoined his room. Associated with youth and animation, and a high
|
|
amphitheatre of faces which his entrance charmed to interest in a
|
|
moment, it was a ghostly place when all this life was faded out of
|
|
it, and stared upon him like an emblem of Death.
|
|
|
|
"Halloa!" he cried. "Halloa! This way! Come to the light!"
|
|
When, as he held the curtain with one hand, and with the other
|
|
raised the lamp and tried to pierce the gloom that filled the
|
|
place, something rushed past him into the room like a wild-cat, and
|
|
crouched down in a corner.
|
|
|
|
"What is it?" he said, hastily.
|
|
|
|
He might have asked "What is it?" even had he seen it well, as
|
|
presently he did when he stood looking at it gathered up in its
|
|
corner.
|
|
|
|
A bundle of tatters, held together by a hand, in size and form
|
|
almost an infant's, but in its greedy, desperate little clutch, a
|
|
bad old man's. A face rounded and smoothed by some half-dozen
|
|
years, but pinched and twisted by the experiences of a life.
|
|
Bright eyes, but not youthful. Naked feet, beautiful in their
|
|
childish delicacy, - ugly in the blood and dirt that cracked upon
|
|
them. A baby savage, a young monster, a child who had never been a
|
|
child, a creature who might live to take the outward form of man,
|
|
but who, within, would live and perish a mere beast.
|
|
|
|
Used, already, to be worried and hunted like a beast, the boy
|
|
crouched down as he was looked at, and looked back again, and
|
|
interposed his arm to ward off the expected blow.
|
|
|
|
"I'll bite," he said, "if you hit me!"
|
|
|
|
The time had been, and not many minutes since, when such a sight as
|
|
this would have wrung the Chemist's heart. He looked upon it now,
|
|
coldly; but with a heavy effort to remember something - he did not
|
|
know what - he asked the boy what he did there, and whence he came.
|
|
|
|
"Where's the woman?" he replied. "I want to find the woman."
|
|
|
|
"Who?"
|
|
|
|
"The woman. Her that brought me here, and set me by the large
|
|
fire. She was so long gone, that I went to look for her, and lost
|
|
myself. I don't want you. I want the woman."
|
|
|
|
He made a spring, so suddenly, to get away, that the dull sound of
|
|
his naked feet upon the floor was near the curtain, when Redlaw
|
|
caught him by his rags.
|
|
|
|
"Come! you let me go!" muttered the boy, struggling, and clenching
|
|
his teeth. "I've done nothing to you. Let me go, will you, to the
|
|
woman!"
|
|
|
|
"That is not the way. There is a nearer one," said Redlaw,
|
|
detaining him, in the same blank effort to remember some
|
|
association that ought, of right, to bear upon this monstrous
|
|
object. "What is your name?"
|
|
|
|
"Got none."
|
|
|
|
"Where do you live?
|
|
|
|
"Live! What's that?"
|
|
|
|
The boy shook his hair from his eyes to look at him for a moment,
|
|
and then, twisting round his legs and wrestling with him, broke
|
|
again into his repetition of "You let me go, will you? I want to
|
|
find the woman."
|
|
|
|
The Chemist led him to the door. "This way," he said, looking at
|
|
him still confusedly, but with repugnance and avoidance, growing
|
|
out of his coldness. "I'll take you to her."
|
|
|
|
The sharp eyes in the child's head, wandering round the room,
|
|
lighted on the table where the remnants of the dinner were.
|
|
|
|
"Give me some of that!" he said, covetously.
|
|
|
|
"Has she not fed you?"
|
|
|
|
"I shall be hungry again to-morrow, sha'n't I? Ain't I hungry
|
|
every day?"
|
|
|
|
Finding himself released, he bounded at the table like some small
|
|
animal of prey, and hugging to his breast bread and meat, and his
|
|
own rags, all together, said:
|
|
|
|
"There! Now take me to the woman!"
|
|
|
|
As the Chemist, with a new-born dislike to touch him, sternly
|
|
motioned him to follow, and was going out of the door, he trembled
|
|
and stopped.
|
|
|
|
"The gift that I have given, you shall give again, go where you
|
|
will!"
|
|
|
|
The Phantom's words were blowing in the wind, and the wind blew
|
|
chill upon him.
|
|
|
|
"I'll not go there, to-night," he murmured faintly. "I'll go
|
|
nowhere to-night. Boy! straight down this long-arched passage, and
|
|
past the great dark door into the yard, - you see the fire shining
|
|
on the window there."
|
|
|
|
"The woman's fire?" inquired the boy.
|
|
|
|
He nodded, and the naked feet had sprung away. He came back with
|
|
his lamp, locked his door hastily, and sat down in his chair,
|
|
covering his face like one who was frightened at himself.
|
|
|
|
For now he was, indeed, alone. Alone, alone.
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER II - The Gift Diffused
|
|
|
|
A SMALL man sat in a small parlour, partitioned off from a small
|
|
shop by a small screen, pasted all over with small scraps of
|
|
newspapers. In company with the small man, was almost any amount
|
|
of small children you may please to name - at least it seemed so;
|
|
they made, in that very limited sphere of action, such an imposing
|
|
effect, in point of numbers.
|
|
|
|
Of these small fry, two had, by some strong machinery, been got
|
|
into bed in a corner, where they might have reposed snugly enough
|
|
in the sleep of innocence, but for a constitutional propensity to
|
|
keep awake, and also to scuffle in and out of bed. The immediate
|
|
occasion of these predatory dashes at the waking world, was the
|
|
construction of an oyster-shell wall in a corner, by two other
|
|
youths of tender age; on which fortification the two in bed made
|
|
harassing descents (like those accursed Picts and Scots who
|
|
beleaguer the early historical studies of most young Britons), and
|
|
then withdrew to their own territory.
|
|
|
|
In addition to the stir attendant on these inroads, and the retorts
|
|
of the invaded, who pursued hotly, and made lunges at the bed-
|
|
clothes under which the marauders took refuge, another little boy,
|
|
in another little bed, contributed his mite of confusion to the
|
|
family stock, by casting his boots upon the waters; in other words,
|
|
by launching these and several small objects, inoffensive in
|
|
themselves, though of a hard substance considered as missiles, at
|
|
the disturbers of his repose, - who were not slow to return these
|
|
compliments.
|
|
|
|
Besides which, another little boy - the biggest there, but still
|
|
little - was tottering to and fro, bent on one side, and
|
|
considerably affected in his knees by the weight of a large baby,
|
|
which he was supposed by a fiction that obtains sometimes in
|
|
sanguine families, to be hushing to sleep. But oh! the
|
|
inexhaustible regions of contemplation and watchfulness into which
|
|
this baby's eyes were then only beginning to compose themselves to
|
|
stare, over his unconscious shoulder!
|
|
|
|
It was a very Moloch of a baby, on whose insatiate altar the whole
|
|
existence of this particular young brother was offered up a daily
|
|
sacrifice. Its personality may be said to have consisted in its
|
|
never being quiet, in any one place, for five consecutive minutes,
|
|
and never going to sleep when required. "Tetterby's baby" was as
|
|
well known in the neighbourhood as the postman or the pot-boy. It
|
|
roved from door-step to door-step, in the arms of little Johnny
|
|
Tetterby, and lagged heavily at the rear of troops of juveniles who
|
|
followed the Tumblers or the Monkey, and came up, all on one side,
|
|
a little too late for everything that was attractive, from Monday
|
|
morning until Saturday night. Wherever childhood congregated to
|
|
play, there was little Moloch making Johnny fag and toil. Wherever
|
|
Johnny desired to stay, little Moloch became fractious, and would
|
|
not remain. Whenever Johnny wanted to go out, Moloch was asleep,
|
|
and must be watched. Whenever Johnny wanted to stay at home,
|
|
Moloch was awake, and must be taken out. Yet Johnny was verily
|
|
persuaded that it was a faultless baby, without its peer in the
|
|
realm of England, and was quite content to catch meek glimpses of
|
|
things in general from behind its skirts, or over its limp flapping
|
|
bonnet, and to go staggering about with it like a very little
|
|
porter with a very large parcel, which was not directed to anybody,
|
|
and could never be delivered anywhere.
|
|
|
|
The small man who sat in the small parlour, making fruitless
|
|
attempts to read his newspaper peaceably in the midst of this
|
|
disturbance, was the father of the family, and the chief of the
|
|
firm described in the inscription over the little shop front, by
|
|
the name and title of A. TETTERBY AND CO., NEWSMEN. Indeed,
|
|
strictly speaking, he was the only personage answering to that
|
|
designation, as Co. was a mere poetical abstraction, altogether
|
|
baseless and impersonal.
|
|
|
|
Tetterby's was the corner shop in Jerusalem Buildings. There was a
|
|
good show of literature in the window, chiefly consisting of
|
|
picture-newspapers out of date, and serial pirates, and footpads.
|
|
Walking-sticks, likewise, and marbles, were included in the stock
|
|
in trade. It had once extended into the light confectionery line;
|
|
but it would seem that those elegancies of life were not in demand
|
|
about Jerusalem Buildings, for nothing connected with that branch
|
|
of commerce remained in the window, except a sort of small glass
|
|
lantern containing a languishing mass of bull's-eyes, which had
|
|
melted in the summer and congealed in the winter until all hope of
|
|
ever getting them out, or of eating them without eating the lantern
|
|
too, was gone for ever. Tetterby's had tried its hand at several
|
|
things. It had once made a feeble little dart at the toy business;
|
|
for, in another lantern, there was a heap of minute wax dolls, all
|
|
sticking together upside down, in the direst confusion, with their
|
|
feet on one another's heads, and a precipitate of broken arms and
|
|
legs at the bottom. It had made a move in the millinery direction,
|
|
which a few dry, wiry bonnet-shapes remained in a corner of the
|
|
window to attest. It had fancied that a living might lie hidden in
|
|
the tobacco trade, and had stuck up a representation of a native of
|
|
each of the three integral portions of the British Empire, in the
|
|
act of consuming that fragrant weed; with a poetic legend attached,
|
|
importing that united in one cause they sat and joked, one chewed
|
|
tobacco, one took snuff, one smoked: but nothing seemed to have
|
|
come of it - except flies. Time had been when it had put a forlorn
|
|
trust in imitative jewellery, for in one pane of glass there was a
|
|
card of cheap seals, and another of pencil-cases, and a mysterious
|
|
black amulet of inscrutable intention, labelled ninepence. But, to
|
|
that hour, Jerusalem Buildings had bought none of them. In short,
|
|
Tetterby's had tried so hard to get a livelihood out of Jerusalem
|
|
Buildings in one way or other, and appeared to have done so
|
|
indifferently in all, that the best position in the firm was too
|
|
evidently Co.'s; Co., as a bodiless creation, being untroubled with
|
|
the vulgar inconveniences of hunger and thirst, being chargeable
|
|
neither to the poor's-rates nor the assessed taxes, and having no
|
|
young family to provide for.
|
|
|
|
Tetterby himself, however, in his little parlour, as already
|
|
mentioned, having the presence of a young family impressed upon his
|
|
mind in a manner too clamorous to be disregarded, or to comport
|
|
with the quiet perusal of a newspaper, laid down his paper,
|
|
wheeled, in his distraction, a few times round the parlour, like an
|
|
undecided carrier-pigeon, made an ineffectual rush at one or two
|
|
flying little figures in bed-gowns that skimmed past him, and then,
|
|
bearing suddenly down upon the only unoffending member of the
|
|
family, boxed the ears of little Moloch's nurse.
|
|
|
|
"You bad boy!" said Mr. Tetterby, "haven't you any feeling for your
|
|
poor father after the fatigues and anxieties of a hard winter's
|
|
day, since five o'clock in the morning, but must you wither his
|
|
rest, and corrode his latest intelligence, with YOUR wicious
|
|
tricks? Isn't it enough, sir, that your brother 'Dolphus is
|
|
toiling and moiling in the fog and cold, and you rolling in the lap
|
|
of luxury with a - with a baby, and everything you can wish for,"
|
|
said Mr. Tetterby, heaping this up as a great climax of blessings,
|
|
"but must you make a wilderness of home, and maniacs of your
|
|
parents? Must you, Johnny? Hey?" At each interrogation, Mr.
|
|
Tetterby made a feint of boxing his ears again, but thought better
|
|
of it, and held his hand.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, father!" whimpered Johnny, "when I wasn't doing anything, I'm
|
|
sure, but taking such care of Sally, and getting her to sleep. Oh,
|
|
father!"
|
|
|
|
"I wish my little woman would come home!" said Mr. Tetterby,
|
|
relenting and repenting, "I only wish my little woman would come
|
|
home! I ain't fit to deal with 'em. They make my head go round,
|
|
and get the better of me. Oh, Johnny! Isn't it enough that your
|
|
dear mother has provided you with that sweet sister?" indicating
|
|
Moloch; "isn't it enough that you were seven boys before without a
|
|
ray of gal, and that your dear mother went through what she DID go
|
|
through, on purpose that you might all of you have a little sister,
|
|
but must you so behave yourself as to make my head swim?"
|
|
|
|
Softening more and more, as his own tender feelings and those of
|
|
his injured son were worked on, Mr. Tetterby concluded by embracing
|
|
him, and immediately breaking away to catch one of the real
|
|
delinquents. A reasonably good start occurring, he succeeded,
|
|
after a short but smart run, and some rather severe cross-country
|
|
work under and over the bedsteads, and in and out among the
|
|
intricacies of the chairs, in capturing this infant, whom he
|
|
condignly punished, and bore to bed. This example had a powerful,
|
|
and apparently, mesmeric influence on him of the boots, who
|
|
instantly fell into a deep sleep, though he had been, but a moment
|
|
before, broad awake, and in the highest possible feather. Nor was
|
|
it lost upon the two young architects, who retired to bed, in an
|
|
adjoining closet, with great privacy and speed. The comrade of the
|
|
Intercepted One also shrinking into his nest with similar
|
|
discretion, Mr. Tetterby, when he paused for breath, found himself
|
|
unexpectedly in a scene of peace.
|
|
|
|
"My little woman herself," said Mr. Tetterby, wiping his flushed
|
|
face, "could hardly have done it better! I only wish my little
|
|
woman had had it to do, I do indeed!"
|
|
|
|
Mr. Tetterby sought upon his screen for a passage appropriate to be
|
|
impressed upon his children's minds on the occasion, and read the
|
|
following.
|
|
|
|
"'It is an undoubted fact that all remarkable men have had
|
|
remarkable mothers, and have respected them in after life as their
|
|
best friends.' Think of your own remarkable mother, my boys," said
|
|
Mr. Tetterby, "and know her value while she is still among you!"
|
|
|
|
He sat down again in his chair by the fire, and composed himself,
|
|
cross-legged, over his newspaper.
|
|
|
|
"Let anybody, I don't care who it is, get out of bed again," said
|
|
Tetterby, as a general proclamation, delivered in a very soft-
|
|
hearted manner, "and astonishment will be the portion of that
|
|
respected contemporary!" - which expression Mr. Tetterby selected
|
|
from his screen. "Johnny, my child, take care of your only sister,
|
|
Sally; for she's the brightest gem that ever sparkled on your early
|
|
brow."
|
|
|
|
Johnny sat down on a little stool, and devotedly crushed himself
|
|
beneath the weight of Moloch.
|
|
|
|
"Ah, what a gift that baby is to you, Johnny!" said his father,
|
|
"and how thankful you ought to be! 'It is not generally known,
|
|
Johnny,'" he was now referring to the screen again, "'but it is a
|
|
fact ascertained, by accurate calculations, that the following
|
|
immense percentage of babies never attain to two years old; that is
|
|
to say - '"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, don't, father, please!" cried Johnny. "I can't bear it, when
|
|
I think of Sally."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Tetterby desisting, Johnny, with a profound sense of his trust,
|
|
wiped his eyes, and hushed his sister.
|
|
|
|
"Your brother 'Dolphus," said his father, poking the fire, "is late
|
|
to-night, Johnny, and will come home like a lump of ice. What's
|
|
got your precious mother?"
|
|
|
|
"Here's mother, and 'Dolphus too, father!" exclaimed Johnny, "I
|
|
think."
|
|
|
|
"You're right!" returned his father, listening. "Yes, that's the
|
|
footstep of my little woman."
|
|
|
|
The process of induction, by which Mr Tetterby had come to the
|
|
conclusion that his wife was a little woman, was his own secret.
|
|
She would have made two editions of himself, very easily.
|
|
Considered as an individual, she was rather remarkable for being
|
|
robust and portly; but considered with reference to her husband,
|
|
her dimensions became magnificent. Nor did they assume a less
|
|
imposing proportion, when studied with reference to the size of her
|
|
seven sons, who were but diminutive. In the case of Sally,
|
|
however, Mrs. Tetterby had asserted herself, at last; as nobody
|
|
knew better than the victim Johnny, who weighed and measured that
|
|
exacting idol every hour in the day.
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Tetterby, who had been marketing, and carried a basket, threw
|
|
back her bonnet and shawl, and sitting down, fatigued, commanded
|
|
Johnny to bring his sweet charge to her straightway, for a kiss.
|
|
Johnny having complied, and gone back to his stool, and again
|
|
crushed himself, Master Adolphus Tetterby, who had by this time
|
|
unwound his torso out of a prismatic comforter, apparently
|
|
interminable, requested the same favour. Johnny having again
|
|
complied, and again gone back to his stool, and again crushed
|
|
himself, Mr. Tetterby, struck by a sudden thought, preferred the
|
|
same claim on his own parental part. The satisfaction of this
|
|
third desire completely exhausted the sacrifice, who had hardly
|
|
breath enough left to get back to his stool, crush himself again,
|
|
and pant at his relations.
|
|
|
|
"Whatever you do, Johnny," said Mrs. Tetterby, shaking her head,
|
|
"take care of her, or never look your mother in the face again."
|
|
|
|
"Nor your brother," said Adolphus.
|
|
|
|
"Nor your father, Johnny," added Mr. Tetterby.
|
|
|
|
Johnny, much affected by this conditional renunciation of him,
|
|
looked down at Moloch's eyes to see that they were all right, so
|
|
far, and skilfully patted her back (which was uppermost), and
|
|
rocked her with his foot.
|
|
|
|
"Are you wet, 'Dolphus, my boy?" said his father. "Come and take
|
|
my chair, and dry yourself."
|
|
|
|
"No, father, thank'ee," said Adolphus, smoothing himself down with
|
|
his hands. "I an't very wet, I don't think. Does my face shine
|
|
much, father?"
|
|
|
|
"Well, it DOES look waxy, my boy," returned Mr. Tetterby.
|
|
|
|
"It's the weather, father," said Adolphus, polishing his cheeks on
|
|
the worn sleeve of his jacket. "What with rain, and sleet, and
|
|
wind, and snow, and fog, my face gets quite brought out into a rash
|
|
sometimes. And shines, it does - oh, don't it, though!"
|
|
|
|
Master Adolphus was also in the newspaper line of life, being
|
|
employed, by a more thriving firm than his father and Co., to vend
|
|
newspapers at a railway station, where his chubby little person,
|
|
like a shabbily-disguised Cupid, and his shrill little voice (he
|
|
was not much more than ten years old), were as well known as the
|
|
hoarse panting of the locomotives, running in and out. His
|
|
juvenility might have been at some loss for a harmless outlet, in
|
|
this early application to traffic, but for a fortunate discovery he
|
|
made of a means of entertaining himself, and of dividing the long
|
|
day into stages of interest, without neglecting business. This
|
|
ingenious invention, remarkable, like many great discoveries, for
|
|
its simplicity, consisted in varying the first vowel in the word
|
|
"paper," and substituting, in its stead, at different periods of
|
|
the day, all the other vowels in grammatical succession. Thus,
|
|
before daylight in the winter-time, he went to and fro, in his
|
|
little oilskin cap and cape, and his big comforter, piercing the
|
|
heavy air with his cry of "Morn-ing Pa-per!" which, about an hour
|
|
before noon, changed to "Morn-ing Pepper!" which, at about two,
|
|
changed to "Morn-ing Pip-per!" which in a couple of hours changed
|
|
to "Morn-ing Pop-per!" and so declined with the sun into "Eve-ning
|
|
Pup-per!" to the great relief and comfort of this young gentleman's
|
|
spirits.
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Tetterby, his lady-mother, who had been sitting with her
|
|
bonnet and shawl thrown back, as aforesaid, thoughtfully turning
|
|
her wedding-ring round and round upon her finger, now rose, and
|
|
divesting herself of her out-of-door attire, began to lay the cloth
|
|
for supper.
|
|
|
|
"Ah, dear me, dear me, dear me!" said Mrs. Tetterby. "That's the
|
|
way the world goes!"
|
|
|
|
"Which is the way the world goes, my dear?" asked Mr. Tetterby,
|
|
looking round.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, nothing," said Mrs. Tetterby.
|
|
|
|
Mr. Tetterby elevated his eyebrows, folded his newspaper afresh,
|
|
and carried his eyes up it, and down it, and across it, but was
|
|
wandering in his attention, and not reading it.
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Tetterby, at the same time, laid the cloth, but rather as if
|
|
she were punishing the table than preparing the family supper;
|
|
hitting it unnecessarily hard with the knives and forks, slapping
|
|
it with the plates, dinting it with the salt-cellar, and coming
|
|
heavily down upon it with the loaf.
|
|
|
|
"Ah, dear me, dear me, dear me!" said Mrs. Tetterby. "That's the
|
|
way the world goes!"
|
|
|
|
"My duck," returned her husband, looking round again, "you said
|
|
that before. Which is the way the world goes?"
|
|
|
|
"Oh, nothing!" said Mrs. Tetterby.
|
|
|
|
"Sophia!" remonstrated her husband, "you said THAT before, too."
|
|
|
|
"Well, I'll say it again if you like," returned Mrs. Tetterby. "Oh
|
|
nothing - there! And again if you like, oh nothing - there! And
|
|
again if you like, oh nothing - now then!"
|
|
|
|
Mr. Tetterby brought his eye to bear upon the partner of his bosom,
|
|
and said, in mild astonishment:
|
|
|
|
"My little woman, what has put you out?"
|
|
|
|
"I'm sure I don't know," she retorted. "Don't ask me. Who said I
|
|
was put out at all? I never did."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Tetterby gave up the perusal of his newspaper as a bad job,
|
|
and, taking a slow walk across the room, with his hands behind him,
|
|
and his shoulders raised - his gait according perfectly with the
|
|
resignation of his manner - addressed himself to his two eldest
|
|
offspring.
|
|
|
|
"Your supper will be ready in a minute, 'Dolphus," said Mr.
|
|
Tetterby. "Your mother has been out in the wet, to the cook's
|
|
shop, to buy it. It was very good of your mother so to do. YOU
|
|
shall get some supper too, very soon, Johnny. Your mother's
|
|
pleased with you, my man, for being so attentive to your precious
|
|
sister."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Tetterby, without any remark, but with a decided subsidence of
|
|
her animosity towards the table, finished her preparations, and
|
|
took, from her ample basket, a substantial slab of hot pease
|
|
pudding wrapped in paper, and a basin covered with a saucer, which,
|
|
on being uncovered, sent forth an odour so agreeable, that the
|
|
three pair of eyes in the two beds opened wide and fixed themselves
|
|
upon the banquet. Mr. Tetterby, without regarding this tacit
|
|
invitation to be seated, stood repeating slowly, "Yes, yes, your
|
|
supper will be ready in a minute, 'Dolphus - your mother went out
|
|
in the wet, to the cook's shop, to buy it. It was very good of
|
|
your mother so to do" - until Mrs. Tetterby, who had been
|
|
exhibiting sundry tokens of contrition behind him, caught him round
|
|
the neck, and wept.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, Dolphus!" said Mrs. Tetterby, "how could I go and behave so?"
|
|
|
|
This reconciliation affected Adolphus the younger and Johnny to
|
|
that degree, that they both, as with one accord, raised a dismal
|
|
cry, which had the effect of immediately shutting up the round eyes
|
|
in the beds, and utterly routing the two remaining little
|
|
Tetterbys, just then stealing in from the adjoining closet to see
|
|
what was going on in the eating way.
|
|
|
|
"I am sure, 'Dolphus," sobbed Mrs. Tetterby, "coming home, I had no
|
|
more idea than a child unborn - "
|
|
|
|
Mr. Tetterby seemed to dislike this figure of speech, and observed,
|
|
"Say than the baby, my dear."
|
|
|
|
" - Had no more idea than the baby," said Mrs. Tetterby. - "Johnny,
|
|
don't look at me, but look at her, or she'll fall out of your lap
|
|
and be killed, and then you'll die in agonies of a broken heart,
|
|
and serve you right. - No more idea I hadn't than that darling, of
|
|
being cross when I came home; but somehow, 'Dolphus - " Mrs.
|
|
Tetterby paused, and again turned her wedding-ring round and round
|
|
upon her finger.
|
|
|
|
"I see!" said Mr. Tetterby. "I understand! My little woman was
|
|
put out. Hard times, and hard weather, and hard work, make it
|
|
trying now and then. I see, bless your soul! No wonder! Dolf, my
|
|
man," continued Mr. Tetterby, exploring the basin with a fork,
|
|
"here's your mother been and bought, at the cook's shop, besides
|
|
pease pudding, a whole knuckle of a lovely roast leg of pork, with
|
|
lots of crackling left upon it, and with seasoning gravy and
|
|
mustard quite unlimited. Hand in your plate, my boy, and begin
|
|
while it's simmering."
|
|
|
|
Master Adolphus, needing no second summons, received his portion
|
|
with eyes rendered moist by appetite, and withdrawing to his
|
|
particular stool, fell upon his supper tooth and nail. Johnny was
|
|
not forgotten, but received his rations on bread, lest he should,
|
|
in a flush of gravy, trickle any on the baby. He was required, for
|
|
similar reasons, to keep his pudding, when not on active service,
|
|
in his pocket.
|
|
|
|
There might have been more pork on the knucklebone, - which
|
|
knucklebone the carver at the cook's shop had assuredly not
|
|
forgotten in carving for previous customers - but there was no
|
|
stint of seasoning, and that is an accessory dreamily suggesting
|
|
pork, and pleasantly cheating the sense of taste. The pease
|
|
pudding, too, the gravy and mustard, like the Eastern rose in
|
|
respect of the nightingale, if they were not absolutely pork, had
|
|
lived near it; so, upon the whole, there was the flavour of a
|
|
middle-sized pig. It was irresistible to the Tetterbys in bed,
|
|
who, though professing to slumber peacefully, crawled out when
|
|
unseen by their parents, and silently appealed to their brothers
|
|
for any gastronomic token of fraternal affection. They, not hard
|
|
of heart, presenting scraps in return, it resulted that a party of
|
|
light skirmishers in nightgowns were careering about the parlour
|
|
all through supper, which harassed Mr. Tetterby exceedingly, and
|
|
once or twice imposed upon him the necessity of a charge, before
|
|
which these guerilla troops retired in all directions and in great
|
|
confusion.
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Tetterby did not enjoy her supper. There seemed to be
|
|
something on Mrs. Tetterby's mind. At one time she laughed without
|
|
reason, and at another time she cried without reason, and at last
|
|
she laughed and cried together in a manner so very unreasonable
|
|
that her husband was confounded.
|
|
|
|
"My little woman," said Mr. Tetterby, "if the world goes that way,
|
|
it appears to go the wrong way, and to choke you."
|
|
|
|
"Give me a drop of water," said Mrs. Tetterby, struggling with
|
|
herself, "and don't speak to me for the present, or take any notice
|
|
of me. Don't do it!"
|
|
|
|
Mr. Tetterby having administered the water, turned suddenly on the
|
|
unlucky Johnny (who was full of sympathy), and demanded why he was
|
|
wallowing there, in gluttony and idleness, instead of coming
|
|
forward with the baby, that the sight of her might revive his
|
|
mother. Johnny immediately approached, borne down by its weight;
|
|
but Mrs. Tetterby holding out her hand to signify that she was not
|
|
in a condition to bear that trying appeal to her feelings, he was
|
|
interdicted from advancing another inch, on pain of perpetual
|
|
hatred from all his dearest connections; and accordingly retired to
|
|
his stool again, and crushed himself as before.
|
|
|
|
After a pause, Mrs. Tetterby said she was better now, and began to
|
|
laugh.
|
|
|
|
"My little woman," said her husband, dubiously, "are you quite sure
|
|
you're better? Or are you, Sophia, about to break out in a fresh
|
|
direction?"
|
|
|
|
"No, 'Dolphus, no," replied his wife. "I'm quite myself." With
|
|
that, settling her hair, and pressing the palms of her hands upon
|
|
her eyes, she laughed again.
|
|
|
|
"What a wicked fool I was, to think so for a moment!" said Mrs.
|
|
Tetterby. "Come nearer, 'Dolphus, and let me ease my mind, and
|
|
tell you what I mean. Let me tell you all about it."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Tetterby bringing his chair closer, Mrs. Tetterby laughed
|
|
again, gave him a hug, and wiped her eyes.
|
|
|
|
"You know, Dolphus, my dear," said Mrs. Tetterby, "that when I was
|
|
single, I might have given myself away in several directions. At
|
|
one time, four after me at once; two of them were sons of Mars."
|
|
|
|
"We're all sons of Ma's, my dear," said Mr. Tetterby, "jointly with
|
|
Pa's."
|
|
|
|
"I don't mean that," replied his wife, "I mean soldiers -
|
|
serjeants."
|
|
|
|
"Oh!" said Mr. Tetterby.
|
|
|
|
"Well, 'Dolphus, I'm sure I never think of such things now, to
|
|
regret them; and I'm sure I've got as good a husband, and would do
|
|
as much to prove that I was fond of him, as - "
|
|
|
|
"As any little woman in the world," said Mr. Tetterby. "Very good.
|
|
VERY good."
|
|
|
|
If Mr. Tetterby had been ten feet high, he could not have expressed
|
|
a gentler consideration for Mrs. Tetterby's fairy-like stature; and
|
|
if Mrs. Tetterby had been two feet high, she could not have felt it
|
|
more appropriately her due.
|
|
|
|
"But you see, 'Dolphus," said Mrs. Tetterby, "this being Christmas-
|
|
time, when all people who can, make holiday, and when all people
|
|
who have got money, like to spend some, I did, somehow, get a
|
|
little out of sorts when I was in the streets just now. There were
|
|
so many things to be sold - such delicious things to eat, such fine
|
|
things to look at, such delightful things to have - and there was
|
|
so much calculating and calculating necessary, before I durst lay
|
|
out a sixpence for the commonest thing; and the basket was so
|
|
large, and wanted so much in it; and my stock of money was so
|
|
small, and would go such a little way; - you hate me, don't you,
|
|
'Dolphus?"
|
|
|
|
"Not quite," said Mr. Tetterby, "as yet."
|
|
|
|
"Well! I'll tell you the whole truth," pursued his wife,
|
|
penitently, "and then perhaps you will. I felt all this, so much,
|
|
when I was trudging about in the cold, and when I saw a lot of
|
|
other calculating faces and large baskets trudging about, too, that
|
|
I began to think whether I mightn't have done better, and been
|
|
happier, if - I - hadn't - " the wedding-ring went round again, and
|
|
Mrs. Tetterby shook her downcast head as she turned it.
|
|
|
|
"I see," said her husband quietly; "if you hadn't married at all,
|
|
or if you had married somebody else?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes," sobbed Mrs. Tetterby. "That's really what I thought. Do
|
|
you hate me now, 'Dolphus?"
|
|
|
|
"Why no," said Mr. Tetterby. "I don't find that I do, as yet."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Tetterby gave him a thankful kiss, and went on.
|
|
|
|
"I begin to hope you won't, now, 'Dolphus, though I'm afraid I
|
|
haven't told you the worst. I can't think what came over me. I
|
|
don't know whether I was ill, or mad, or what I was, but I couldn't
|
|
call up anything that seemed to bind us to each other, or to
|
|
reconcile me to my fortune. All the pleasures and enjoyments we
|
|
had ever had - THEY seemed so poor and insignificant, I hated them.
|
|
I could have trodden on them. And I could think of nothing else,
|
|
except our being poor, and the number of mouths there were at
|
|
home."
|
|
|
|
"Well, well, my dear," said Mr. Tetterby, shaking her hand
|
|
encouragingly, "that's truth, after all. We ARE poor, and there
|
|
ARE a number of mouths at home here."
|
|
|
|
"Ah! but, Dolf, Dolf!" cried his wife, laying her hands upon his
|
|
neck, "my good, kind, patient fellow, when I had been at home a
|
|
very little while - how different! Oh, Dolf, dear, how different
|
|
it was! I felt as if there was a rush of recollection on me, all
|
|
at once, that softened my hard heart, and filled it up till it was
|
|
bursting. All our struggles for a livelihood, all our cares and
|
|
wants since we have been married, all the times of sickness, all
|
|
the hours of watching, we have ever had, by one another, or by the
|
|
children, seemed to speak to me, and say that they had made us one,
|
|
and that I never might have been, or could have been, or would have
|
|
been, any other than the wife and mother I am. Then, the cheap
|
|
enjoyments that I could have trodden on so cruelly, got to be so
|
|
precious to me - Oh so priceless, and dear! - that I couldn't bear
|
|
to think how much I had wronged them; and I said, and say again a
|
|
hundred times, how could I ever behave so, 'Dolphus, how could I
|
|
ever have the heart to do it!"
|
|
|
|
The good woman, quite carried away by her honest tenderness and
|
|
remorse, was weeping with all her heart, when she started up with a
|
|
scream, and ran behind her husband. Her cry was so terrified, that
|
|
the children started from their sleep and from their beds, and
|
|
clung about her. Nor did her gaze belie her voice, as she pointed
|
|
to a pale man in a black cloak who had come into the room.
|
|
|
|
"Look at that man! Look there! What does he want?"
|
|
|
|
"My dear," returned her husband, "I'll ask him if you'll let me go.
|
|
What's the matter! How you shake!"
|
|
|
|
"I saw him in the street, when I was out just now. He looked at
|
|
me, and stood near me. I am afraid of him."
|
|
|
|
"Afraid of him! Why?"
|
|
|
|
"I don't know why - I - stop! husband!" for he was going towards
|
|
the stranger.
|
|
|
|
She had one hand pressed upon her forehead, and one upon her
|
|
breast; and there was a peculiar fluttering all over her, and a
|
|
hurried unsteady motion of her eyes, as if she had lost something.
|
|
|
|
"Are you ill, my dear?"
|
|
|
|
"What is it that is going from me again?" she muttered, in a low
|
|
voice. "What IS this that is going away?"
|
|
|
|
Then she abruptly answered: "Ill? No, I am quite well," and
|
|
stood looking vacantly at the floor.
|
|
|
|
Her husband, who had not been altogether free from the infection of
|
|
her fear at first, and whom the present strangeness of her manner
|
|
did not tend to reassure, addressed himself to the pale visitor in
|
|
the black cloak, who stood still, and whose eyes were bent upon the
|
|
ground.
|
|
|
|
"What may be your pleasure, sir," he asked, "with us?"
|
|
|
|
"I fear that my coming in unperceived," returned the visitor, "has
|
|
alarmed you; but you were talking and did not hear me."
|
|
|
|
"My little woman says - perhaps you heard her say it," returned Mr.
|
|
Tetterby, "that it's not the first time you have alarmed her to-
|
|
night."
|
|
|
|
"I am sorry for it. I remember to have observed her, for a few
|
|
moments only, in the street. I had no intention of frightening
|
|
her."
|
|
|
|
As he raised his eyes in speaking, she raised hers. It was
|
|
extraordinary to see what dread she had of him, and with what dread
|
|
he observed it - and yet how narrowly and closely.
|
|
|
|
"My name," he said, "is Redlaw. I come from the old college hard
|
|
by. A young gentleman who is a student there, lodges in your
|
|
house, does he not?"
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Denham?" said Tetterby.
|
|
|
|
"Yes."
|
|
|
|
It was a natural action, and so slight as to be hardly noticeable;
|
|
but the little man, before speaking again, passed his hand across
|
|
his forehead, and looked quickly round the room, as though he were
|
|
sensible of some change in its atmosphere. The Chemist, instantly
|
|
transferring to him the look of dread he had directed towards the
|
|
wife, stepped back, and his face turned paler.
|
|
|
|
"The gentleman's room," said Tetterby, "is upstairs, sir. There's
|
|
a more convenient private entrance; but as you have come in here,
|
|
it will save your going out into the cold, if you'll take this
|
|
little staircase," showing one communicating directly with the
|
|
parlour, "and go up to him that way, if you wish to see him."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I wish to see him," said the Chemist. "Can you spare a
|
|
light?"
|
|
|
|
The watchfulness of his haggard look, and the inexplicable distrust
|
|
that darkened it, seemed to trouble Mr. Tetterby. He paused; and
|
|
looking fixedly at him in return, stood for a minute or so, like a
|
|
man stupefied, or fascinated.
|
|
|
|
At length he said, "I'll light you, sir, if you'll follow me."
|
|
|
|
"No," replied the Chemist, "I don't wish to be attended, or
|
|
announced to him. He does not expect me. I would rather go alone.
|
|
Please to give me the light, if you can spare it, and I'll find the
|
|
way."
|
|
|
|
In the quickness of his expression of this desire, and in taking
|
|
the candle from the newsman, he touched him on the breast.
|
|
Withdrawing his hand hastily, almost as though he had wounded him
|
|
by accident (for he did not know in what part of himself his new
|
|
power resided, or how it was communicated, or how the manner of its
|
|
reception varied in different persons), he turned and ascended the
|
|
stair.
|
|
|
|
But when he reached the top, he stopped and looked down. The wife
|
|
was standing in the same place, twisting her ring round and round
|
|
upon her finger. The husband, with his head bent forward on his
|
|
breast, was musing heavily and sullenly. The children, still
|
|
clustering about the mother, gazed timidly after the visitor, and
|
|
nestled together when they saw him looking down.
|
|
|
|
"Come!" said the father, roughly. "There's enough of this. Get to
|
|
bed here!"
|
|
|
|
"The place is inconvenient and small enough," the mother added,
|
|
"without you. Get to bed!"
|
|
|
|
The whole brood, scared and sad, crept away; little Johnny and the
|
|
baby lagging last. The mother, glancing contemptuously round the
|
|
sordid room, and tossing from her the fragments of their meal,
|
|
stopped on the threshold of her task of clearing the table, and sat
|
|
down, pondering idly and dejectedly. The father betook himself to
|
|
the chimney-corner, and impatiently raking the small fire together,
|
|
bent over it as if he would monopolise it all. They did not
|
|
interchange a word.
|
|
|
|
The Chemist, paler than before, stole upward like a thief; looking
|
|
back upon the change below, and dreading equally to go on or
|
|
return.
|
|
|
|
"What have I done!" he said, confusedly. "What am I going to do!"
|
|
|
|
"To be the benefactor of mankind," he thought he heard a voice
|
|
reply.
|
|
|
|
He looked round, but there was nothing there; and a passage now
|
|
shutting out the little parlour from his view, he went on,
|
|
directing his eyes before him at the way he went.
|
|
|
|
"It is only since last night," he muttered gloomily, "that I have
|
|
remained shut up, and yet all things are strange to me. I am
|
|
strange to myself. I am here, as in a dream. What interest have I
|
|
in this place, or in any place that I can bring to my remembrance?
|
|
My mind is going blind!"
|
|
|
|
There was a door before him, and he knocked at it. Being invited,
|
|
by a voice within, to enter, he complied.
|
|
|
|
"Is that my kind nurse?" said the voice. "But I need not ask her.
|
|
There is no one else to come here."
|
|
|
|
It spoke cheerfully, though in a languid tone, and attracted his
|
|
attention to a young man lying on a couch, drawn before the
|
|
chimney-piece, with the back towards the door. A meagre scanty
|
|
stove, pinched and hollowed like a sick man's cheeks, and bricked
|
|
into the centre of a hearth that it could scarcely warm, contained
|
|
the fire, to which his face was turned. Being so near the windy
|
|
house-top, it wasted quickly, and with a busy sound, and the
|
|
burning ashes dropped down fast.
|
|
|
|
"They chink when they shoot out here," said the student, smiling,
|
|
"so, according to the gossips, they are not coffins, but purses. I
|
|
shall be well and rich yet, some day, if it please God, and shall
|
|
live perhaps to love a daughter Milly, in remembrance of the
|
|
kindest nature and the gentlest heart in the world."
|
|
|
|
He put up his hand as if expecting her to take it, but, being
|
|
weakened, he lay still, with his face resting on his other hand,
|
|
and did not turn round.
|
|
|
|
The Chemist glanced about the room; - at the student's books and
|
|
papers, piled upon a table in a corner, where they, and his
|
|
extinguished reading-lamp, now prohibited and put away, told of the
|
|
attentive hours that had gone before this illness, and perhaps
|
|
caused it; - at such signs of his old health and freedom, as the
|
|
out-of-door attire that hung idle on the wall; - at those
|
|
remembrances of other and less solitary scenes, the little
|
|
miniatures upon the chimney-piece, and the drawing of home; - at
|
|
that token of his emulation, perhaps, in some sort, of his personal
|
|
attachment too, the framed engraving of himself, the looker-on.
|
|
The time had been, only yesterday, when not one of these objects,
|
|
in its remotest association of interest with the living figure
|
|
before him, would have been lost on Redlaw. Now, they were but
|
|
objects; or, if any gleam of such connexion shot upon him, it
|
|
perplexed, and not enlightened him, as he stood looking round with
|
|
a dull wonder.
|
|
|
|
The student, recalling the thin hand which had remained so long
|
|
untouched, raised himself on the couch, and turned his head.
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Redlaw!" he exclaimed, and started up.
|
|
|
|
Redlaw put out his arm.
|
|
|
|
"Don't come nearer to me. I will sit here. Remain you, where you
|
|
are!"
|
|
|
|
He sat down on a chair near the door, and having glanced at the
|
|
young man standing leaning with his hand upon the couch, spoke with
|
|
his eyes averted towards the ground.
|
|
|
|
"I heard, by an accident, by what accident is no matter, that one
|
|
of my class was ill and solitary. I received no other description
|
|
of him, than that he lived in this street. Beginning my inquiries
|
|
at the first house in it, I have found him."
|
|
|
|
"I have been ill, sir," returned the student, not merely with a
|
|
modest hesitation, but with a kind of awe of him, "but am greatly
|
|
better. An attack of fever - of the brain, I believe - has
|
|
weakened me, but I am much better. I cannot say I have been
|
|
solitary, in my illness, or I should forget the ministering hand
|
|
that has been near me."
|
|
|
|
"You are speaking of the keeper's wife," said Redlaw.
|
|
|
|
"Yes." The student bent his head, as if he rendered her some
|
|
silent homage.
|
|
|
|
The Chemist, in whom there was a cold, monotonous apathy, which
|
|
rendered him more like a marble image on the tomb of the man who
|
|
had started from his dinner yesterday at the first mention of this
|
|
student's case, than the breathing man himself, glanced again at
|
|
the student leaning with his hand upon the couch, and looked upon
|
|
the ground, and in the air, as if for light for his blinded mind.
|
|
|
|
"I remembered your name," he said, "when it was mentioned to me
|
|
down stairs, just now; and I recollect your face. We have held but
|
|
very little personal communication together?"
|
|
|
|
"Very little."
|
|
|
|
"You have retired and withdrawn from me, more than any of the rest,
|
|
I think?"
|
|
|
|
The student signified assent.
|
|
|
|
"And why?" said the Chemist; not with the least expression of
|
|
interest, but with a moody, wayward kind of curiosity. "Why? How
|
|
comes it that you have sought to keep especially from me, the
|
|
knowledge of your remaining here, at this season, when all the rest
|
|
have dispersed, and of your being ill? I want to know why this
|
|
is?"
|
|
|
|
The young man, who had heard him with increasing agitation, raised
|
|
his downcast eyes to his face, and clasping his hands together,
|
|
cried with sudden earnestness and with trembling lips:
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Redlaw! You have discovered me. You know my secret!"
|
|
|
|
"Secret?" said the Chemist, harshly. "I know?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes! Your manner, so different from the interest and sympathy
|
|
which endear you to so many hearts, your altered voice, the
|
|
constraint there is in everything you say, and in your looks,"
|
|
replied the student, "warn me that you know me. That you would
|
|
conceal it, even now, is but a proof to me (God knows I need none!)
|
|
of your natural kindness and of the bar there is between us."
|
|
|
|
A vacant and contemptuous laugh, was all his answer.
|
|
|
|
"But, Mr. Redlaw," said the student, "as a just man, and a good
|
|
man, think how innocent I am, except in name and descent, of
|
|
participation in any wrong inflicted on you or in any sorrow you
|
|
have borne."
|
|
|
|
"Sorrow!" said Redlaw, laughing. "Wrong! What are those to me?"
|
|
|
|
"For Heaven's sake," entreated the shrinking student, "do not let
|
|
the mere interchange of a few words with me change you like this,
|
|
sir! Let me pass again from your knowledge and notice. Let me
|
|
occupy my old reserved and distant place among those whom you
|
|
instruct. Know me only by the name I have assumed, and not by that
|
|
of Longford - "
|
|
|
|
"Longford!" exclaimed the other.
|
|
|
|
He clasped his head with both his hands, and for a moment turned
|
|
upon the young man his own intelligent and thoughtful face. But
|
|
the light passed from it, like the sun-beam of an instant, and it
|
|
clouded as before.
|
|
|
|
"The name my mother bears, sir," faltered the young man, "the name
|
|
she took, when she might, perhaps, have taken one more honoured.
|
|
Mr. Redlaw," hesitating, "I believe I know that history. Where my
|
|
information halts, my guesses at what is wanting may supply
|
|
something not remote from the truth. I am the child of a marriage
|
|
that has not proved itself a well-assorted or a happy one. From
|
|
infancy, I have heard you spoken of with honour and respect - with
|
|
something that was almost reverence. I have heard of such
|
|
devotion, of such fortitude and tenderness, of such rising up
|
|
against the obstacles which press men down, that my fancy, since I
|
|
learnt my little lesson from my mother, has shed a lustre on your
|
|
name. At last, a poor student myself, from whom could I learn but
|
|
you?"
|
|
|
|
Redlaw, unmoved, unchanged, and looking at him with a staring
|
|
frown, answered by no word or sign.
|
|
|
|
"I cannot say," pursued the other, "I should try in vain to say,
|
|
how much it has impressed me, and affected me, to find the gracious
|
|
traces of the past, in that certain power of winning gratitude and
|
|
confidence which is associated among us students (among the
|
|
humblest of us, most) with Mr. Redlaw's generous name. Our ages
|
|
and positions are so different, sir, and I am so accustomed to
|
|
regard you from a distance, that I wonder at my own presumption
|
|
when I touch, however lightly, on that theme. But to one who - I
|
|
may say, who felt no common interest in my mother once - it may be
|
|
something to hear, now that all is past, with what indescribable
|
|
feelings of affection I have, in my obscurity, regarded him; with
|
|
what pain and reluctance I have kept aloof from his encouragement,
|
|
when a word of it would have made me rich; yet how I have felt it
|
|
fit that I should hold my course, content to know him, and to be
|
|
unknown. Mr. Redlaw," said the student, faintly, "what I would
|
|
have said, I have said ill, for my strength is strange to me as
|
|
yet; but for anything unworthy in this fraud of mine, forgive me,
|
|
and for all the rest forget me!"
|
|
|
|
The staring frown remained on Redlaw's face, and yielded to no
|
|
other expression until the student, with these words, advanced
|
|
towards him, as if to touch his hand, when he drew back and cried
|
|
to him:
|
|
|
|
"Don't come nearer to me!"
|
|
|
|
The young man stopped, shocked by the eagerness of his recoil, and
|
|
by the sternness of his repulsion; and he passed his hand,
|
|
thoughtfully, across his forehead.
|
|
|
|
"The past is past," said the Chemist. "It dies like the brutes.
|
|
Who talks to me of its traces in my life? He raves or lies! What
|
|
have I to do with your distempered dreams? If you want money, here
|
|
it is. I came to offer it; and that is all I came for. There can
|
|
be nothing else that brings me here," he muttered, holding his head
|
|
again, with both his hands. "There CAN be nothing else, and yet -
|
|
"
|
|
|
|
He had tossed his purse upon the table. As he fell into this dim
|
|
cogitation with himself, the student took it up, and held it out to
|
|
him.
|
|
|
|
"Take it back, sir," he said proudly, though not angrily. "I wish
|
|
you could take from me, with it, the remembrance of your words and
|
|
offer."
|
|
|
|
"You do?" he retorted, with a wild light in his eyes. "You do?"
|
|
|
|
"I do!"
|
|
|
|
The Chemist went close to him, for the first time, and took the
|
|
purse, and turned him by the arm, and looked him in the face.
|
|
|
|
"There is sorrow and trouble in sickness, is there not?" he
|
|
demanded, with a laugh.
|
|
|
|
The wondering student answered, "Yes."
|
|
|
|
"In its unrest, in its anxiety, in its suspense, in all its train
|
|
of physical and mental miseries?" said the Chemist, with a wild
|
|
unearthly exultation. "All best forgotten, are they not?"
|
|
|
|
The student did not answer, but again passed his hand, confusedly,
|
|
across his forehead. Redlaw still held him by the sleeve, when
|
|
Milly's voice was heard outside.
|
|
|
|
"I can see very well now," she said, "thank you, Dolf. Don't cry,
|
|
dear. Father and mother will be comfortable again, to-morrow, and
|
|
home will be comfortable too. A gentleman with him, is there!"
|
|
|
|
Redlaw released his hold, as he listened.
|
|
|
|
"I have feared, from the first moment," he murmured to himself, "to
|
|
meet her. There is a steady quality of goodness in her, that I
|
|
dread to influence. I may be the murderer of what is tenderest and
|
|
best within her bosom."
|
|
|
|
She was knocking at the door.
|
|
|
|
"Shall I dismiss it as an idle foreboding, or still avoid her?" he
|
|
muttered, looking uneasily around.
|
|
|
|
She was knocking at the door again.
|
|
|
|
"Of all the visitors who could come here," he said, in a hoarse
|
|
alarmed voice, turning to his companion, "this is the one I should
|
|
desire most to avoid. Hide me!"
|
|
|
|
The student opened a frail door in the wall, communicating where
|
|
the garret-roof began to slope towards the floor, with a small
|
|
inner room. Redlaw passed in hastily, and shut it after him.
|
|
|
|
The student then resumed his place upon the couch, and called to
|
|
her to enter.
|
|
|
|
"Dear Mr. Edmund," said Milly, looking round, "they told me there
|
|
was a gentleman here."
|
|
|
|
"There is no one here but I."
|
|
|
|
"There has been some one?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, yes, there has been some one."
|
|
|
|
She put her little basket on the table, and went up to the back of
|
|
the couch, as if to take the extended hand - but it was not there.
|
|
A little surprised, in her quiet way, she leaned over to look at
|
|
his face, and gently touched him on the brow.
|
|
|
|
"Are you quite as well to-night? Your head is not so cool as in
|
|
the afternoon."
|
|
|
|
"Tut!" said the student, petulantly, "very little ails me."
|
|
|
|
A little more surprise, but no reproach, was expressed in her face,
|
|
as she withdrew to the other side of the table, and took a small
|
|
packet of needlework from her basket. But she laid it down again,
|
|
on second thoughts, and going noiselessly about the room, set
|
|
everything exactly in its place, and in the neatest order; even to
|
|
the cushions on the couch, which she touched with so light a hand,
|
|
that he hardly seemed to know it, as he lay looking at the fire.
|
|
When all this was done, and she had swept the hearth, she sat down,
|
|
in her modest little bonnet, to her work, and was quietly busy on
|
|
it directly.
|
|
|
|
"It's the new muslin curtain for the window, Mr. Edmund," said
|
|
Milly, stitching away as she talked. "It will look very clean and
|
|
nice, though it costs very little, and will save your eyes, too,
|
|
from the light. My William says the room should not be too light
|
|
just now, when you are recovering so well, or the glare might make
|
|
you giddy."
|
|
|
|
He said nothing; but there was something so fretful and impatient
|
|
in his change of position, that her quick fingers stopped, and she
|
|
looked at him anxiously.
|
|
|
|
"The pillows are not comfortable," she said, laying down her work
|
|
and rising. "I will soon put them right."
|
|
|
|
"They are very well," he answered. "Leave them alone, pray. You
|
|
make so much of everything."
|
|
|
|
He raised his head to say this, and looked at her so thanklessly,
|
|
that, after he had thrown himself down again, she stood timidly
|
|
pausing. However, she resumed her seat, and her needle, without
|
|
having directed even a murmuring look towards him, and was soon as
|
|
busy as before.
|
|
|
|
"I have been thinking, Mr. Edmund, that YOU have been often
|
|
thinking of late, when I have been sitting by, how true the saying
|
|
is, that adversity is a good teacher. Health will be more precious
|
|
to you, after this illness, than it has ever been. And years
|
|
hence, when this time of year comes round, and you remember the
|
|
days when you lay here sick, alone, that the knowledge of your
|
|
illness might not afflict those who are dearest to you, your home
|
|
will be doubly dear and doubly blest. Now, isn't that a good, true
|
|
thing?"
|
|
|
|
She was too intent upon her work, and too earnest in what she said,
|
|
and too composed and quiet altogether, to be on the watch for any
|
|
look he might direct towards her in reply; so the shaft of his
|
|
ungrateful glance fell harmless, and did not wound her.
|
|
|
|
"Ah!" said Milly, with her pretty head inclining thoughtfully on
|
|
one side, as she looked down, following her busy fingers with her
|
|
eyes. "Even on me - and I am very different from you, Mr. Edmund,
|
|
for I have no learning, and don't know how to think properly - this
|
|
view of such things has made a great impression, since you have
|
|
been lying ill. When I have seen you so touched by the kindness
|
|
and attention of the poor people down stairs, I have felt that you
|
|
thought even that experience some repayment for the loss of health,
|
|
and I have read in your face, as plain as if it was a book, that
|
|
but for some trouble and sorrow we should never know half the good
|
|
there is about us."
|
|
|
|
His getting up from the couch, interrupted her, or she was going on
|
|
to say more.
|
|
|
|
"We needn't magnify the merit, Mrs. William," he rejoined
|
|
slightingly. "The people down stairs will be paid in good time I
|
|
dare say, for any little extra service they may have rendered me;
|
|
and perhaps they anticipate no less. I am much obliged to you,
|
|
too."
|
|
|
|
Her fingers stopped, and she looked at him.
|
|
|
|
"I can't be made to feel the more obliged by your exaggerating the
|
|
case," he said. "I am sensible that you have been interested in
|
|
me, and I say I am much obliged to you. What more would you have?"
|
|
|
|
Her work fell on her lap, as she still looked at him walking to and
|
|
fro with an intolerant air, and stopping now and then.
|
|
|
|
"I say again, I am much obliged to you. Why weaken my sense of
|
|
what is your due in obligation, by preferring enormous claims upon
|
|
me? Trouble, sorrow, affliction, adversity! One might suppose I
|
|
had been dying a score of deaths here!"
|
|
|
|
"Do you believe, Mr. Edmund," she asked, rising and going nearer to
|
|
him, "that I spoke of the poor people of the house, with any
|
|
reference to myself? To me?" laying her hand upon her bosom with a
|
|
simple and innocent smile of astonishment.
|
|
|
|
"Oh! I think nothing about it, my good creature," he returned. "I
|
|
have had an indisposition, which your solicitude - observe! I say
|
|
solicitude - makes a great deal more of, than it merits; and it's
|
|
over, and we can't perpetuate it."
|
|
|
|
He coldly took a book, and sat down at the table.
|
|
|
|
She watched him for a little while, until her smile was quite gone,
|
|
and then, returning to where her basket was, said gently:
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Edmund, would you rather be alone?"
|
|
|
|
"There is no reason why I should detain you here," he replied.
|
|
|
|
"Except - " said Milly, hesitating, and showing her work.
|
|
|
|
"Oh! the curtain," he answered, with a supercilious laugh. "That's
|
|
not worth staying for."
|
|
|
|
She made up the little packet again, and put it in her basket.
|
|
Then, standing before him with such an air of patient entreaty that
|
|
he could not choose but look at her, she said:
|
|
|
|
"If you should want me, I will come back willingly. When you did
|
|
want me, I was quite happy to come; there was no merit in it. I
|
|
think you must be afraid, that, now you are getting well, I may be
|
|
troublesome to you; but I should not have been, indeed. I should
|
|
have come no longer than your weakness and confinement lasted. You
|
|
owe me nothing; but it is right that you should deal as justly by
|
|
me as if I was a lady - even the very lady that you love; and if
|
|
you suspect me of meanly making much of the little I have tried to
|
|
do to comfort your sick room, you do yourself more wrong than ever
|
|
you can do me. That is why I am sorry. That is why I am very
|
|
sorry."
|
|
|
|
If she had been as passionate as she was quiet, as indignant as she
|
|
was calm, as angry in her look as she was gentle, as loud of tone
|
|
as she was low and clear, she might have left no sense of her
|
|
departure in the room, compared with that which fell upon the
|
|
lonely student when she went away.
|
|
|
|
He was gazing drearily upon the place where she had been, when
|
|
Redlaw came out of his concealment, and came to the door.
|
|
|
|
"When sickness lays its hand on you again," he said, looking
|
|
fiercely back at him, " - may it be soon! - Die here! Rot here!"
|
|
|
|
"What have you done?" returned the other, catching at his cloak.
|
|
"What change have you wrought in me? What curse have you brought
|
|
upon me? Give me back MYself!"
|
|
|
|
"Give me back myself!" exclaimed Redlaw like a madman. "I am
|
|
infected! I am infectious! I am charged with poison for my own
|
|
mind, and the minds of all mankind. Where I felt interest,
|
|
compassion, sympathy, I am turning into stone. Selfishness and
|
|
ingratitude spring up in my blighting footsteps. I am only so much
|
|
less base than the wretches whom I make so, that in the moment of
|
|
their transformation I can hate them."
|
|
|
|
As he spoke - the young man still holding to his cloak - he cast
|
|
him off, and struck him: then, wildly hurried out into the night
|
|
air where the wind was blowing, the snow falling, the cloud-drift
|
|
sweeping on, the moon dimly shining; and where, blowing in the
|
|
wind, falling with the snow, drifting with the clouds, shining in
|
|
the moonlight, and heavily looming in the darkness, were the
|
|
Phantom's words, "The gift that I have given, you shall give again,
|
|
go where you will!"
|
|
|
|
Whither he went, he neither knew nor cared, so that he avoided
|
|
company. The change he felt within him made the busy streets a
|
|
desert, and himself a desert, and the multitude around him, in
|
|
their manifold endurances and ways of life, a mighty waste of sand,
|
|
which the winds tossed into unintelligible heaps and made a ruinous
|
|
confusion of. Those traces in his breast which the Phantom had
|
|
told him would "die out soon," were not, as yet, so far upon their
|
|
way to death, but that he understood enough of what he was, and
|
|
what he made of others, to desire to be alone.
|
|
|
|
This put it in his mind - he suddenly bethought himself, as he was
|
|
going along, of the boy who had rushed into his room. And then he
|
|
recollected, that of those with whom he had communicated since the
|
|
Phantom's disappearance, that boy alone had shown no sign of being
|
|
changed.
|
|
|
|
Monstrous and odious as the wild thing was to him, he determined to
|
|
seek it out, and prove if this were really so; and also to seek it
|
|
with another intention, which came into his thoughts at the same
|
|
time.
|
|
|
|
So, resolving with some difficulty where he was, he directed his
|
|
steps back to the old college, and to that part of it where the
|
|
general porch was, and where, alone, the pavement was worn by the
|
|
tread of the students' feet.
|
|
|
|
The keeper's house stood just within the iron gates, forming a part
|
|
of the chief quadrangle. There was a little cloister outside, and
|
|
from that sheltered place he knew he could look in at the window of
|
|
their ordinary room, and see who was within. The iron gates were
|
|
shut, but his hand was familiar with the fastening, and drawing it
|
|
back by thrusting in his wrist between the bars, he passed through
|
|
softly, shut it again, and crept up to the window, crumbling the
|
|
thin crust of snow with his feet.
|
|
|
|
The fire, to which he had directed the boy last night, shining
|
|
brightly through the glass, made an illuminated place upon the
|
|
ground. Instinctively avoiding this, and going round it, he looked
|
|
in at the window. At first, he thought that there was no one
|
|
there, and that the blaze was reddening only the old beams in the
|
|
ceiling and the dark walls; but peering in more narrowly, he saw
|
|
the object of his search coiled asleep before it on the floor. He
|
|
passed quickly to the door, opened it, and went in.
|
|
|
|
The creature lay in such a fiery heat, that, as the Chemist stooped
|
|
to rouse him, it scorched his head. So soon as he was touched, the
|
|
boy, not half awake, clutching his rags together with the instinct
|
|
of flight upon him, half rolled and half ran into a distant corner
|
|
of the room, where, heaped upon the ground, he struck his foot out
|
|
to defend himself.
|
|
|
|
"Get up!" said the Chemist. "You have not forgotten me?"
|
|
|
|
"You let me alone!" returned the boy. "This is the woman's house -
|
|
not yours."
|
|
|
|
The Chemist's steady eye controlled him somewhat, or inspired him
|
|
with enough submission to be raised upon his feet, and looked at.
|
|
|
|
"Who washed them, and put those bandages where they were bruised
|
|
and cracked?" asked the Chemist, pointing to their altered state.
|
|
|
|
"The woman did."
|
|
|
|
"And is it she who has made you cleaner in the face, too?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, the woman."
|
|
|
|
Redlaw asked these questions to attract his eyes towards himself,
|
|
and with the same intent now held him by the chin, and threw his
|
|
wild hair back, though he loathed to touch him. The boy watched
|
|
his eyes keenly, as if he thought it needful to his own defence,
|
|
not knowing what he might do next; and Redlaw could see well that
|
|
no change came over him.
|
|
|
|
"Where are they?" he inquired.
|
|
|
|
"The woman's out."
|
|
|
|
"I know she is. Where is the old man with the white hair, and his
|
|
son?"
|
|
|
|
"The woman's husband, d'ye mean?" inquired the boy.
|
|
|
|
"Ay. Where are those two?"
|
|
|
|
"Out. Something's the matter, somewhere. They were fetched out in
|
|
a hurry, and told me to stop here."
|
|
|
|
"Come with me," said the Chemist, "and I'll give you money."
|
|
|
|
"Come where? and how much will you give?"
|
|
|
|
"I'll give you more shillings than you ever saw, and bring you back
|
|
soon. Do you know your way to where you came from?"
|
|
|
|
"You let me go," returned the boy, suddenly twisting out of his
|
|
grasp. "I'm not a going to take you there. Let me be, or I'll
|
|
heave some fire at you!"
|
|
|
|
He was down before it, and ready, with his savage little hand, to
|
|
pluck the burning coals out.
|
|
|
|
What the Chemist had felt, in observing the effect of his charmed
|
|
influence stealing over those with whom he came in contact, was not
|
|
nearly equal to the cold vague terror with which he saw this baby-
|
|
monster put it at defiance. It chilled his blood to look on the
|
|
immovable impenetrable thing, in the likeness of a child, with its
|
|
sharp malignant face turned up to his, and its almost infant hand,
|
|
ready at the bars.
|
|
|
|
"Listen, boy!" he said. "You shall take me where you please, so
|
|
that you take me where the people are very miserable or very
|
|
wicked. I want to do them good, and not to harm them. You shall
|
|
have money, as I have told you, and I will bring you back. Get up!
|
|
Come quickly!" He made a hasty step towards the door, afraid of
|
|
her returning.
|
|
|
|
"Will you let me walk by myself, and never hold me, nor yet touch
|
|
me?" said the boy, slowly withdrawing the hand with which he
|
|
threatened, and beginning to get up.
|
|
|
|
"I will!"
|
|
|
|
"And let me go, before, behind, or anyways I like?"
|
|
|
|
"I will!"
|
|
|
|
"Give me some money first, then, and go."
|
|
|
|
The Chemist laid a few shillings, one by one, in his extended hand.
|
|
To count them was beyond the boy's knowledge, but he said "one,"
|
|
every time, and avariciously looked at each as it was given, and at
|
|
the donor. He had nowhere to put them, out of his hand, but in his
|
|
mouth; and he put them there.
|
|
|
|
Redlaw then wrote with his pencil on a leaf of his pocket-book,
|
|
that the boy was with him; and laying it on the table, signed to
|
|
him to follow. Keeping his rags together, as usual, the boy
|
|
complied, and went out with his bare head and naked feet into the
|
|
winter night.
|
|
|
|
Preferring not to depart by the iron gate by which he had entered,
|
|
where they were in danger of meeting her whom he so anxiously
|
|
avoided, the Chemist led the way, through some of those passages
|
|
among which the boy had lost himself, and by that portion of the
|
|
building where he lived, to a small door of which he had the key.
|
|
When they got into the street, he stopped to ask his guide - who
|
|
instantly retreated from him - if he knew where they were.
|
|
|
|
The savage thing looked here and there, and at length, nodding his
|
|
head, pointed in the direction he designed to take. Redlaw going
|
|
on at once, he followed, something less suspiciously; shifting his
|
|
money from his mouth into his hand, and back again into his mouth,
|
|
and stealthily rubbing it bright upon his shreds of dress, as he
|
|
went along.
|
|
|
|
Three times, in their progress, they were side by side. Three
|
|
times they stopped, being side by side. Three times the Chemist
|
|
glanced down at his face, and shuddered as it forced upon him one
|
|
reflection.
|
|
|
|
The first occasion was when they were crossing an old churchyard,
|
|
and Redlaw stopped among the graves, utterly at a loss how to
|
|
connect them with any tender, softening, or consolatory thought.
|
|
|
|
The second was, when the breaking forth of the moon induced him to
|
|
look up at the Heavens, where he saw her in her glory, surrounded
|
|
by a host of stars he still knew by the names and histories which
|
|
human science has appended to them; but where he saw nothing else
|
|
he had been wont to see, felt nothing he had been wont to feel, in
|
|
looking up there, on a bright night.
|
|
|
|
The third was when he stopped to listen to a plaintive strain of
|
|
music, but could only hear a tune, made manifest to him by the dry
|
|
mechanism of the instruments and his own ears, with no address to
|
|
any mystery within him, without a whisper in it of the past, or of
|
|
the future, powerless upon him as the sound of last year's running
|
|
water, or the rushing of last year's wind.
|
|
|
|
At each of these three times, he saw with horror that, in spite of
|
|
the vast intellectual distance between them, and their being unlike
|
|
each other in all physical respects, the expression on the boy's
|
|
face was the expression on his own.
|
|
|
|
They journeyed on for some time - now through such crowded places,
|
|
that he often looked over his shoulder thinking he had lost his
|
|
guide, but generally finding him within his shadow on his other
|
|
side; now by ways so quiet, that he could have counted his short,
|
|
quick, naked footsteps coming on behind - until they arrived at a
|
|
ruinous collection of houses, and the boy touched him and stopped.
|
|
|
|
"In there!" he said, pointing out one house where there were
|
|
shattered lights in the windows, and a dim lantern in the doorway,
|
|
with "Lodgings for Travellers" painted on it.
|
|
|
|
Redlaw looked about him; from the houses to the waste piece of
|
|
ground on which the houses stood, or rather did not altogether
|
|
tumble down, unfenced, undrained, unlighted, and bordered by a
|
|
sluggish ditch; from that, to the sloping line of arches, part of
|
|
some neighbouring viaduct or bridge with which it was surrounded,
|
|
and which lessened gradually towards them, until the last but one
|
|
was a mere kennel for a dog, the last a plundered little heap of
|
|
bricks; from that, to the child, close to him, cowering and
|
|
trembling with the cold, and limping on one little foot, while he
|
|
coiled the other round his leg to warm it, yet staring at all these
|
|
things with that frightful likeness of expression so apparent in
|
|
his face, that Redlaw started from him.
|
|
|
|
"In there!" said the boy, pointing out the house again. "I'll
|
|
wait."
|
|
|
|
"Will they let me in?" asked Redlaw.
|
|
|
|
"Say you're a doctor," he answered with a nod. "There's plenty ill
|
|
here."
|
|
|
|
Looking back on his way to the house-door, Redlaw saw him trail
|
|
himself upon the dust and crawl within the shelter of the smallest
|
|
arch, as if he were a rat. He had no pity for the thing, but he
|
|
was afraid of it; and when it looked out of its den at him, he
|
|
hurried to the house as a retreat.
|
|
|
|
"Sorrow, wrong, and trouble," said the Chemist, with a painful
|
|
effort at some more distinct remembrance, "at least haunt this
|
|
place darkly. He can do no harm, who brings forgetfulness of such
|
|
things here!"
|
|
|
|
With these words, he pushed the yielding door, and went in.
|
|
|
|
There was a woman sitting on the stairs, either asleep or forlorn,
|
|
whose head was bent down on her hands and knees. As it was not
|
|
easy to pass without treading on her, and as she was perfectly
|
|
regardless of his near approach, he stopped, and touched her on the
|
|
shoulder. Looking up, she showed him quite a young face, but one
|
|
whose bloom and promise were all swept away, as if the haggard
|
|
winter should unnaturally kill the spring.
|
|
|
|
With little or no show of concern on his account, she moved nearer
|
|
to the wall to leave him a wider passage.
|
|
|
|
"What are you?" said Redlaw, pausing, with his hand upon the broken
|
|
stair-rail.
|
|
|
|
"What do you think I am?" she answered, showing him her face again.
|
|
|
|
He looked upon the ruined Temple of God, so lately made, so soon
|
|
disfigured; and something, which was not compassion - for the
|
|
springs in which a true compassion for such miseries has its rise,
|
|
were dried up in his breast - but which was nearer to it, for the
|
|
moment, than any feeling that had lately struggled into the
|
|
darkening, but not yet wholly darkened, night of his mind - mingled
|
|
a touch of softness with his next words.
|
|
|
|
"I am come here to give relief, if I can," he said. "Are you
|
|
thinking of any wrong?"
|
|
|
|
She frowned at him, and then laughed; and then her laugh prolonged
|
|
itself into a shivering sigh, as she dropped her head again, and
|
|
hid her fingers in her hair.
|
|
|
|
"Are you thinking of a wrong?" he asked once more.
|
|
|
|
"I am thinking of my life," she said, with a monetary look at him.
|
|
|
|
He had a perception that she was one of many, and that he saw the
|
|
type of thousands, when he saw her, drooping at his feet.
|
|
|
|
"What are your parents?" he demanded.
|
|
|
|
"I had a good home once. My father was a gardener, far away, in
|
|
the country."
|
|
|
|
"Is he dead?"
|
|
|
|
"He's dead to me. All such things are dead to me. You a
|
|
gentleman, and not know that!" She raised her eyes again, and
|
|
laughed at him.
|
|
|
|
"Girl!" said Redlaw, sternly, "before this death, of all such
|
|
things, was brought about, was there no wrong done to you? In
|
|
spite of all that you can do, does no remembrance of wrong cleave
|
|
to you? Are there not times upon times when it is misery to you?"
|
|
|
|
So little of what was womanly was left in her appearance, that now,
|
|
when she burst into tears, he stood amazed. But he was more
|
|
amazed, and much disquieted, to note that in her awakened
|
|
recollection of this wrong, the first trace of her old humanity and
|
|
frozen tenderness appeared to show itself.
|
|
|
|
He drew a little off, and in doing so, observed that her arms were
|
|
black, her face cut, and her bosom bruised.
|
|
|
|
"What brutal hand has hurt you so?" he asked.
|
|
|
|
"My own. I did it myself!" she answered quickly.
|
|
|
|
"It is impossible."
|
|
|
|
"I'll swear I did! He didn't touch me. I did it to myself in a
|
|
passion, and threw myself down here. He wasn't near me. He never
|
|
laid a hand upon me!"
|
|
|
|
In the white determination of her face, confronting him with this
|
|
untruth, he saw enough of the last perversion and distortion of
|
|
good surviving in that miserable breast, to be stricken with
|
|
remorse that he had ever come near her.
|
|
|
|
"Sorrow, wrong, and trouble!" he muttered, turning his fearful gaze
|
|
away. "All that connects her with the state from which she has
|
|
fallen, has those roots! In the name of God, let me go by!"
|
|
|
|
Afraid to look at her again, afraid to touch her, afraid to think
|
|
of having sundered the last thread by which she held upon the mercy
|
|
of Heaven, he gathered his cloak about him, and glided swiftly up
|
|
the stairs.
|
|
|
|
Opposite to him, on the landing, was a door, which stood partly
|
|
open, and which, as he ascended, a man with a candle in his hand,
|
|
came forward from within to shut. But this man, on seeing him,
|
|
drew back, with much emotion in his manner, and, as if by a sudden
|
|
impulse, mentioned his name aloud.
|
|
|
|
In the surprise of such a recognition there, he stopped,
|
|
endeavouring to recollect the wan and startled face. He had no
|
|
time to consider it, for, to his yet greater amazement, old Philip
|
|
came out of the room, and took him by the hand.
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Redlaw," said the old man, "this is like you, this is like
|
|
you, sir! you have heard of it, and have come after us to render
|
|
any help you can. Ah, too late, too late!"
|
|
|
|
Redlaw, with a bewildered look, submitted to be led into the room.
|
|
A man lay there, on a truckle-bed, and William Swidger stood at the
|
|
bedside.
|
|
|
|
"Too late!" murmured the old man, looking wistfully into the
|
|
Chemist's face; and the tears stole down his cheeks.
|
|
|
|
"That's what I say, father," interposed his son in a low voice.
|
|
"That's where it is, exactly. To keep as quiet as ever we can
|
|
while he's a dozing, is the only thing to do. You're right,
|
|
father!"
|
|
|
|
Redlaw paused at the bedside, and looked down on the figure that
|
|
was stretched upon the mattress. It was that of a man, who should
|
|
have been in the vigour of his life, but on whom it was not likely
|
|
the sun would ever shine again. The vices of his forty or fifty
|
|
years' career had so branded him, that, in comparison with their
|
|
effects upon his face, the heavy hand of Time upon the old man's
|
|
face who watched him had been merciful and beautifying.
|
|
|
|
"Who is this?" asked the Chemist, looking round.
|
|
|
|
"My son George, Mr. Redlaw," said the old man, wringing his hands.
|
|
"My eldest son, George, who was more his mother's pride than all
|
|
the rest!"
|
|
|
|
Redlaw's eyes wandered from the old man's grey head, as he laid it
|
|
down upon the bed, to the person who had recognised him, and who
|
|
had kept aloof, in the remotest corner of the room. He seemed to
|
|
be about his own age; and although he knew no such hopeless decay
|
|
and broken man as he appeared to be, there was something in the
|
|
turn of his figure, as he stood with his back towards him, and now
|
|
went out at the door, that made him pass his hand uneasily across
|
|
his brow.
|
|
|
|
"William," he said in a gloomy whisper, "who is that man?"
|
|
|
|
"Why you see, sir," returned Mr. William, "that's what I say,
|
|
myself. Why should a man ever go and gamble, and the like of that,
|
|
and let himself down inch by inch till he can't let himself down
|
|
any lower!"
|
|
|
|
"Has HE done so?" asked Redlaw, glancing after him with the same
|
|
uneasy action as before.
|
|
|
|
"Just exactly that, sir," returned William Swidger, "as I'm told.
|
|
He knows a little about medicine, sir, it seems; and having been
|
|
wayfaring towards London with my unhappy brother that you see
|
|
here," Mr. William passed his coat-sleeve across his eyes, "and
|
|
being lodging up stairs for the night - what I say, you see, is
|
|
that strange companions come together here sometimes - he looked in
|
|
to attend upon him, and came for us at his request. What a
|
|
mournful spectacle, sir! But that's where it is. It's enough to
|
|
kill my father!"
|
|
|
|
Redlaw looked up, at these words, and, recalling where he was and
|
|
with whom, and the spell he carried with him - which his surprise
|
|
had obscured - retired a little, hurriedly, debating with himself
|
|
whether to shun the house that moment, or remain.
|
|
|
|
Yielding to a certain sullen doggedness, which it seemed to be a
|
|
part of his condition to struggle with, he argued for remaining.
|
|
|
|
"Was it only yesterday," he said, "when I observed the memory of
|
|
this old man to be a tissue of sorrow and trouble, and shall I be
|
|
afraid, to-night, to shake it? Are such remembrances as I can
|
|
drive away, so precious to this dying man that I need fear for HIM?
|
|
No! I'll stay here."
|
|
|
|
But he stayed in fear and trembling none the less for these words;
|
|
and, shrouded in his black cloak with his face turned from them,
|
|
stood away from the bedside, listening to what they said, as if he
|
|
felt himself a demon in the place.
|
|
|
|
"Father!" murmured the sick man, rallying a little from stupor.
|
|
|
|
"My boy! My son George!" said old Philip.
|
|
|
|
"You spoke, just now, of my being mother's favourite, long ago.
|
|
It's a dreadful thing to think now, of long ago!"
|
|
|
|
"No, no, no;" returned the old man. "Think of it. Don't say it's
|
|
dreadful. It's not dreadful to me, my son."
|
|
|
|
"It cuts you to the heart, father." For the old man's tears were
|
|
falling on him.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, yes," said Philip, "so it does; but it does me good. It's a
|
|
heavy sorrow to think of that time, but it does me good, George.
|
|
Oh, think of it too, think of it too, and your heart will be
|
|
softened more and more! Where's my son William? William, my boy,
|
|
your mother loved him dearly to the last, and with her latest
|
|
breath said, 'Tell him I forgave him, blessed him, and prayed for
|
|
him.' Those were her words to me. I have never forgotten them,
|
|
and I'm eighty-seven!"
|
|
|
|
"Father!" said the man upon the bed, "I am dying, I know. I am so
|
|
far gone, that I can hardly speak, even of what my mind most runs
|
|
on. Is there any hope for me beyond this bed?"
|
|
|
|
"There is hope," returned the old man, "for all who are softened
|
|
and penitent. There is hope for all such. Oh!" he exclaimed,
|
|
clasping his hands and looking up, "I was thankful, only yesterday,
|
|
that I could remember this unhappy son when he was an innocent
|
|
child. But what a comfort it is, now, to think that even God
|
|
himself has that remembrance of him!"
|
|
|
|
Redlaw spread his hands upon his face, and shrank, like a murderer.
|
|
|
|
"Ah!" feebly moaned the man upon the bed. "The waste since then,
|
|
the waste of life since then!"
|
|
|
|
"But he was a child once," said the old man. "He played with
|
|
children. Before he lay down on his bed at night, and fell into
|
|
his guiltless rest, he said his prayers at his poor mother's knee.
|
|
I have seen him do it, many a time; and seen her lay his head upon
|
|
her breast, and kiss him. Sorrowful as it was to her and me, to
|
|
think of this, when he went so wrong, and when our hopes and plans
|
|
for him were all broken, this gave him still a hold upon us, that
|
|
nothing else could have given. Oh, Father, so much better than the
|
|
fathers upon earth! Oh, Father, so much more afflicted by the
|
|
errors of Thy children! take this wanderer back! Not as he is, but
|
|
as he was then, let him cry to Thee, as he has so often seemed to
|
|
cry to us!"
|
|
|
|
As the old man lifted up his trembling hands, the son, for whom he
|
|
made the supplication, laid his sinking head against him for
|
|
support and comfort, as if he were indeed the child of whom he
|
|
spoke.
|
|
|
|
When did man ever tremble, as Redlaw trembled, in the silence that
|
|
ensued! He knew it must come upon them, knew that it was coming
|
|
fast.
|
|
|
|
"My time is very short, my breath is shorter," said the sick man,
|
|
supporting himself on one arm, and with the other groping in the
|
|
air, "and I remember there is something on my mind concerning the
|
|
man who was here just now, Father and William - wait! - is there
|
|
really anything in black, out there?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes, yes, it is real," said his aged father.
|
|
|
|
"Is it a man?"
|
|
|
|
"What I say myself, George," interposed his brother, bending kindly
|
|
over him. "It's Mr. Redlaw."
|
|
|
|
"I thought I had dreamed of him. Ask him to come here."
|
|
|
|
The Chemist, whiter than the dying man, appeared before him.
|
|
Obedient to the motion of his hand, he sat upon the bed.
|
|
|
|
"It has been so ripped up, to-night, sir," said the sick man,
|
|
laying his hand upon his heart, with a look in which the mute,
|
|
imploring agony of his condition was concentrated, "by the sight of
|
|
my poor old father, and the thought of all the trouble I have been
|
|
the cause of, and all the wrong and sorrow lying at my door, that -
|
|
"
|
|
|
|
Was it the extremity to which he had come, or was it the dawning of
|
|
another change, that made him stop?
|
|
|
|
" - that what I CAN do right, with my mind running on so much, so
|
|
fast, I'll try to do. There was another man here. Did you see
|
|
him?"
|
|
|
|
Redlaw could not reply by any word; for when he saw that fatal sign
|
|
he knew so well now, of the wandering hand upon the forehead, his
|
|
voice died at his lips. But he made some indication of assent.
|
|
|
|
"He is penniless, hungry, and destitute. He is completely beaten
|
|
down, and has no resource at all. Look after him! Lose no time!
|
|
I know he has it in his mind to kill himself."
|
|
|
|
It was working. It was on his face. His face was changing,
|
|
hardening, deepening in all its shades, and losing all its sorrow.
|
|
|
|
"Don't you remember? Don't you know him?" he pursued.
|
|
|
|
He shut his face out for a moment, with the hand that again
|
|
wandered over his forehead, and then it lowered on Redlaw,
|
|
reckless, ruffianly, and callous.
|
|
|
|
"Why, d-n you!" he said, scowling round, "what have you been doing
|
|
to me here! I have lived bold, and I mean to die bold. To the
|
|
Devil with you!"
|
|
|
|
And so lay down upon his bed, and put his arms up, over his head
|
|
and ears, as resolute from that time to keep out all access, and to
|
|
die in his indifference.
|
|
|
|
If Redlaw had been struck by lightning, it could not have struck
|
|
him from the bedside with a more tremendous shock. But the old
|
|
man, who had left the bed while his son was speaking to him, now
|
|
returning, avoided it quickly likewise, and with abhorrence.
|
|
|
|
"Where's my boy William?" said the old man hurriedly. "William,
|
|
come away from here. We'll go home."
|
|
|
|
"Home, father!" returned William. "Are you going to leave your own
|
|
son?"
|
|
|
|
"Where's my own son?" replied the old man.
|
|
|
|
"Where? why, there!"
|
|
|
|
"That's no son of mine," said Philip, trembling with resentment.
|
|
"No such wretch as that, has any claim on me. My children are
|
|
pleasant to look at, and they wait upon me, and get my meat and
|
|
drink ready, and are useful to me. I've a right to it! I'm
|
|
eighty-seven!"
|
|
|
|
"You're old enough to be no older," muttered William, looking at
|
|
him grudgingly, with his hands in his pockets. "I don't know what
|
|
good you are, myself. We could have a deal more pleasure without
|
|
you."
|
|
|
|
"MY son, Mr. Redlaw!" said the old man. "MY son, too! The boy
|
|
talking to me of MY son! Why, what has he ever done to give me any
|
|
pleasure, I should like to know?"
|
|
|
|
"I don't know what you have ever done to give ME any pleasure,"
|
|
said William, sulkily.
|
|
|
|
"Let me think," said the old man. "For how many Christmas times
|
|
running, have I sat in my warm place, and never had to come out in
|
|
the cold night air; and have made good cheer, without being
|
|
disturbed by any such uncomfortable, wretched sight as him there?
|
|
Is it twenty, William?"
|
|
|
|
"Nigher forty, it seems," he muttered. "Why, when I look at my
|
|
father, sir, and come to think of it," addressing Redlaw, with an
|
|
impatience and irritation that were quite new, "I'm whipped if I
|
|
can see anything in him but a calendar of ever so many years of
|
|
eating and drinking, and making himself comfortable, over and over
|
|
again."
|
|
|
|
"I - I'm eighty-seven," said the old man, rambling on, childishly
|
|
and weakly, "and I don't know as I ever was much put out by
|
|
anything. I'm not going to begin now, because of what he calls my
|
|
son. He's not my son. I've had a power of pleasant times. I
|
|
recollect once - no I don't - no, it's broken off. It was
|
|
something about a game of cricket and a friend of mine, but it's
|
|
somehow broken off. I wonder who he was - I suppose I liked him?
|
|
And I wonder what became of him - I suppose he died? But I don't
|
|
know. And I don't care, neither; I don't care a bit."
|
|
|
|
In his drowsy chuckling, and the shaking of his head, he put his
|
|
hands into his waistcoat pockets. In one of them he found a bit of
|
|
holly (left there, probably last night), which he now took out, and
|
|
looked at.
|
|
|
|
"Berries, eh?" said the old man. "Ah! It's a pity they're not
|
|
good to eat. I recollect, when I was a little chap about as high
|
|
as that, and out a walking with - let me see - who was I out a
|
|
walking with? - no, I don't remember how that was. I don't
|
|
remember as I ever walked with any one particular, or cared for any
|
|
one, or any one for me. Berries, eh? There's good cheer when
|
|
there's berries. Well; I ought to have my share of it, and to be
|
|
waited on, and kept warm and comfortable; for I'm eighty-seven, and
|
|
a poor old man. I'm eigh-ty-seven. Eigh-ty-seven!"
|
|
|
|
The drivelling, pitiable manner in which, as he repeated this, he
|
|
nibbled at the leaves, and spat the morsels out; the cold,
|
|
uninterested eye with which his youngest son (so changed) regarded
|
|
him; the determined apathy with which his eldest son lay hardened
|
|
in his sin; impressed themselves no more on Redlaw's observation, -
|
|
for he broke his way from the spot to which his feet seemed to have
|
|
been fixed, and ran out of the house.
|
|
|
|
His guide came crawling forth from his place of refuge, and was
|
|
ready for him before he reached the arches.
|
|
|
|
"Back to the woman's?" he inquired.
|
|
|
|
"Back, quickly!" answered Redlaw. "Stop nowhere on the way!"
|
|
|
|
For a short distance the boy went on before; but their return was
|
|
more like a flight than a walk, and it was as much as his bare feet
|
|
could do, to keep pace with the Chemist's rapid strides. Shrinking
|
|
from all who passed, shrouded in his cloak, and keeping it drawn
|
|
closely about him, as though there were mortal contagion in any
|
|
fluttering touch of his garments, he made no pause until they
|
|
reached the door by which they had come out. He unlocked it with
|
|
his key, went in, accompanied by the boy, and hastened through the
|
|
dark passages to his own chamber.
|
|
|
|
The boy watched him as he made the door fast, and withdrew behind
|
|
the table, when he looked round.
|
|
|
|
"Come!" he said. "Don't you touch me! You've not brought me here
|
|
to take my money away."
|
|
|
|
Redlaw threw some more upon the ground. He flung his body on it
|
|
immediately, as if to hide it from him, lest the sight of it should
|
|
tempt him to reclaim it; and not until he saw him seated by his
|
|
lamp, with his face hidden in his hands, began furtively to pick it
|
|
up. When he had done so, he crept near the fire, and, sitting down
|
|
in a great chair before it, took from his breast some broken scraps
|
|
of food, and fell to munching, and to staring at the blaze, and now
|
|
and then to glancing at his shillings, which he kept clenched up in
|
|
a bunch, in one hand.
|
|
|
|
"And this," said Redlaw, gazing on him with increased repugnance
|
|
and fear, "is the only one companion I have left on earth!"
|
|
|
|
How long it was before he was aroused from his contemplation of
|
|
this creature, whom he dreaded so - whether half-an-hour, or half
|
|
the night - he knew not. But the stillness of the room was broken
|
|
by the boy (whom he had seen listening) starting up, and running
|
|
towards the door.
|
|
|
|
"Here's the woman coming!" he exclaimed.
|
|
|
|
The Chemist stopped him on his way, at the moment when she knocked.
|
|
|
|
"Let me go to her, will you?" said the boy.
|
|
|
|
"Not now," returned the Chemist. "Stay here. Nobody must pass in
|
|
or out of the room now. Who's that?"
|
|
|
|
"It's I, sir," cried Milly. "Pray, sir, let me in!"
|
|
|
|
"No! not for the world!" he said.
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Redlaw, Mr. Redlaw, pray, sir, let me in."
|
|
|
|
"What is the matter?" he said, holding the boy.
|
|
|
|
"The miserable man you saw, is worse, and nothing I can say will
|
|
wake him from his terrible infatuation. William's father has
|
|
turned childish in a moment, William himself is changed. The shock
|
|
has been too sudden for him; I cannot understand him; he is not
|
|
like himself. Oh, Mr. Redlaw, pray advise me, help me!"
|
|
|
|
"No! No! No!" he answered.
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Redlaw! Dear sir! George has been muttering, in his doze,
|
|
about the man you saw there, who, he fears, will kill himself."
|
|
|
|
"Better he should do it, than come near me!"
|
|
|
|
"He says, in his wandering, that you know him; that he was your
|
|
friend once, long ago; that he is the ruined father of a student
|
|
here - my mind misgives me, of the young gentleman who has been
|
|
ill. What is to be done? How is he to be followed? How is he to
|
|
be saved? Mr. Redlaw, pray, oh, pray, advise me! Help me!"
|
|
|
|
All this time he held the boy, who was half-mad to pass him, and
|
|
let her in.
|
|
|
|
"Phantoms! Punishers of impious thoughts!" cried Redlaw, gazing
|
|
round in anguish, "look upon me! From the darkness of my mind, let
|
|
the glimmering of contrition that I know is there, shine up and
|
|
show my misery! In the material world as I have long taught,
|
|
nothing can be spared; no step or atom in the wondrous structure
|
|
could be lost, without a blank being made in the great universe. I
|
|
know, now, that it is the same with good and evil, happiness and
|
|
sorrow, in the memories of men. Pity me! Relieve me!"
|
|
|
|
There was no response, but her "Help me, help me, let me in!" and
|
|
the boy's struggling to get to her.
|
|
|
|
"Shadow of myself! Spirit of my darker hours!" cried Redlaw, in
|
|
distraction, "come back, and haunt me day and night, but take this
|
|
gift away! Or, if it must still rest with me, deprive me of the
|
|
dreadful power of giving it to others. Undo what I have done.
|
|
Leave me benighted, but restore the day to those whom I have
|
|
cursed. As I have spared this woman from the first, and as I never
|
|
will go forth again, but will die here, with no hand to tend me,
|
|
save this creature's who is proof against me, - hear me!"
|
|
|
|
The only reply still was, the boy struggling to get to her, while
|
|
he held him back; and the cry, increasing in its energy, "Help! let
|
|
me in. He was your friend once, how shall he be followed, how
|
|
shall he be saved? They are all changed, there is no one else to
|
|
help me, pray, pray, let me in!"
|
|
|
|
CHAPTER III - The Gift Reversed
|
|
|
|
NIGHT was still heavy in the sky. On open plains, from hill-tops,
|
|
and from the decks of solitary ships at sea, a distant low-lying
|
|
line, that promised by-and-by to change to light, was visible in
|
|
the dim horizon; but its promise was remote and doubtful, and the
|
|
moon was striving with the night-clouds busily.
|
|
|
|
The shadows upon Redlaw's mind succeeded thick and fast to one
|
|
another, and obscured its light as the night-clouds hovered between
|
|
the moon and earth, and kept the latter veiled in darkness. Fitful
|
|
and uncertain as the shadows which the night-clouds cast, were
|
|
their concealments from him, and imperfect revelations to him; and,
|
|
like the night-clouds still, if the clear light broke forth for a
|
|
moment, it was only that they might sweep over it, and make the
|
|
darkness deeper than before.
|
|
|
|
Without, there was a profound and solemn hush upon the ancient pile
|
|
of building, and its buttresses and angles made dark shapes of
|
|
mystery upon the ground, which now seemed to retire into the smooth
|
|
white snow and now seemed to come out of it, as the moon's path was
|
|
more or less beset. Within, the Chemist's room was indistinct and
|
|
murky, by the light of the expiring lamp; a ghostly silence had
|
|
succeeded to the knocking and the voice outside; nothing was
|
|
audible but, now and then, a low sound among the whitened ashes of
|
|
the fire, as of its yielding up its last breath. Before it on the
|
|
ground the boy lay fast asleep. In his chair, the Chemist sat, as
|
|
he had sat there since the calling at his door had ceased - like a
|
|
man turned to stone.
|
|
|
|
At such a time, the Christmas music he had heard before, began to
|
|
play. He listened to it at first, as he had listened in the
|
|
church-yard; but presently - it playing still, and being borne
|
|
towards him on the night air, in a low, sweet, melancholy strain -
|
|
he rose, and stood stretching his hands about him, as if there were
|
|
some friend approaching within his reach, on whom his desolate
|
|
touch might rest, yet do no harm. As he did this, his face became
|
|
less fixed and wondering; a gentle trembling came upon him; and at
|
|
last his eyes filled with tears, and he put his hands before them,
|
|
and bowed down his head.
|
|
|
|
His memory of sorrow, wrong, and trouble, had not come back to him;
|
|
he knew that it was not restored; he had no passing belief or hope
|
|
that it was. But some dumb stir within him made him capable,
|
|
again, of being moved by what was hidden, afar off, in the music.
|
|
If it were only that it told him sorrowfully the value of what he
|
|
had lost, he thanked Heaven for it with a fervent gratitude.
|
|
|
|
As the last chord died upon his ear, he raised his head to listen
|
|
to its lingering vibration. Beyond the boy, so that his sleeping
|
|
figure lay at its feet, the Phantom stood, immovable and silent,
|
|
with its eyes upon him.
|
|
|
|
Ghastly it was, as it had ever been, but not so cruel and
|
|
relentless in its aspect - or he thought or hoped so, as he looked
|
|
upon it trembling. It was not alone, but in its shadowy hand it
|
|
held another hand.
|
|
|
|
And whose was that? Was the form that stood beside it indeed
|
|
Milly's, or but her shade and picture? The quiet head was bent a
|
|
little, as her manner was, and her eyes were looking down, as if in
|
|
pity, on the sleeping child. A radiant light fell on her face, but
|
|
did not touch the Phantom; for, though close beside her, it was
|
|
dark and colourless as ever.
|
|
|
|
"Spectre!" said the Chemist, newly troubled as he looked, "I have
|
|
not been stubborn or presumptuous in respect of her. Oh, do not
|
|
bring her here. Spare me that!"
|
|
|
|
"This is but a shadow," said the Phantom; "when the morning shines
|
|
seek out the reality whose image I present before you."
|
|
|
|
"Is it my inexorable doom to do so?" cried the Chemist.
|
|
|
|
"It is," replied the Phantom.
|
|
|
|
"To destroy her peace, her goodness; to make her what I am myself,
|
|
and what I have made of others!"
|
|
|
|
"I have said seek her out," returned the Phantom. "I have said no
|
|
more."
|
|
|
|
"Oh, tell me," exclaimed Redlaw, catching at the hope which he
|
|
fancied might lie hidden in the words. "Can I undo what I have
|
|
done?"
|
|
|
|
"No," returned the Phantom.
|
|
|
|
"I do not ask for restoration to myself," said Redlaw. "What I
|
|
abandoned, I abandoned of my own free will, and have justly lost.
|
|
But for those to whom I have transferred the fatal gift; who never
|
|
sought it; who unknowingly received a curse of which they had no
|
|
warning, and which they had no power to shun; can I do nothing?"
|
|
|
|
"Nothing," said the Phantom.
|
|
|
|
"If I cannot, can any one?"
|
|
|
|
The Phantom, standing like a statue, kept its gaze upon him for a
|
|
while; then turned its head suddenly, and looked upon the shadow at
|
|
its side.
|
|
|
|
"Ah! Can she?" cried Redlaw, still looking upon the shade.
|
|
|
|
The Phantom released the hand it had retained till now, and softly
|
|
raised its own with a gesture of dismissal. Upon that, her shadow,
|
|
still preserving the same attitude, began to move or melt away.
|
|
|
|
"Stay," cried Redlaw with an earnestness to which he could not give
|
|
enough expression. "For a moment! As an act of mercy! I know
|
|
that some change fell upon me, when those sounds were in the air
|
|
just now. Tell me, have I lost the power of harming her? May I go
|
|
near her without dread? Oh, let her give me any sign of hope!"
|
|
|
|
The Phantom looked upon the shade as he did - not at him - and gave
|
|
no answer.
|
|
|
|
"At least, say this - has she, henceforth, the consciousness of any
|
|
power to set right what I have done?"
|
|
|
|
"She has not," the Phantom answered.
|
|
|
|
"Has she the power bestowed on her without the consciousness?"
|
|
|
|
The phantom answered: "Seek her out."
|
|
|
|
And her shadow slowly vanished.
|
|
|
|
They were face to face again, and looking on each other, as
|
|
intently and awfully as at the time of the bestowal of the gift,
|
|
across the boy who still lay on the ground between them, at the
|
|
Phantom's feet.
|
|
|
|
"Terrible instructor," said the Chemist, sinking on his knee before
|
|
it, in an attitude of supplication, "by whom I was renounced, but
|
|
by whom I am revisited (in which, and in whose milder aspect, I
|
|
would fain believe I have a gleam of hope), I will obey without
|
|
inquiry, praying that the cry I have sent up in the anguish of my
|
|
soul has been, or will be, heard, in behalf of those whom I have
|
|
injured beyond human reparation. But there is one thing - "
|
|
|
|
"You speak to me of what is lying here," the phantom interposed,
|
|
and pointed with its finger to the boy.
|
|
|
|
"I do," returned the Chemist. "You know what I would ask. Why has
|
|
this child alone been proof against my influence, and why, why,
|
|
have I detected in its thoughts a terrible companionship with
|
|
mine?"
|
|
|
|
"This," said the Phantom, pointing to the boy, "is the last,
|
|
completest illustration of a human creature, utterly bereft of such
|
|
remembrances as you have yielded up. No softening memory of
|
|
sorrow, wrong, or trouble enters here, because this wretched mortal
|
|
from his birth has been abandoned to a worse condition than the
|
|
beasts, and has, within his knowledge, no one contrast, no
|
|
humanising touch, to make a grain of such a memory spring up in his
|
|
hardened breast. All within this desolate creature is barren
|
|
wilderness. All within the man bereft of what you have resigned,
|
|
is the same barren wilderness. Woe to such a man! Woe, tenfold,
|
|
to the nation that shall count its monsters such as this, lying
|
|
here, by hundreds and by thousands!"
|
|
|
|
Redlaw shrank, appalled, from what he heard.
|
|
|
|
"There is not," said the Phantom, "one of these - not one - but
|
|
sows a harvest that mankind MUST reap. From every seed of evil in
|
|
this boy, a field of ruin is grown that shall be gathered in, and
|
|
garnered up, and sown again in many places in the world, until
|
|
regions are overspread with wickedness enough to raise the waters
|
|
of another Deluge. Open and unpunished murder in a city's streets
|
|
would be less guilty in its daily toleration, than one such
|
|
spectacle as this."
|
|
|
|
It seemed to look down upon the boy in his sleep. Redlaw, too,
|
|
looked down upon him with a new emotion.
|
|
|
|
"There is not a father," said the Phantom, "by whose side in his
|
|
daily or his nightly walk, these creatures pass; there is not a
|
|
mother among all the ranks of loving mothers in this land; there is
|
|
no one risen from the state of childhood, but shall be responsible
|
|
in his or her degree for this enormity. There is not a country
|
|
throughout the earth on which it would not bring a curse. There is
|
|
no religion upon earth that it would not deny; there is no people
|
|
upon earth it would not put to shame."
|
|
|
|
The Chemist clasped his hands, and looked, with trembling fear and
|
|
pity, from the sleeping boy to the Phantom, standing above him with
|
|
his finger pointing down.
|
|
|
|
"Behold, I say," pursued the Spectre, "the perfect type of what it
|
|
was your choice to be. Your influence is powerless here, because
|
|
from this child's bosom you can banish nothing. His thoughts have
|
|
been in 'terrible companionship' with yours, because you have gone
|
|
down to his unnatural level. He is the growth of man's
|
|
indifference; you are the growth of man's presumption. The
|
|
beneficent design of Heaven is, in each case, overthrown, and from
|
|
the two poles of the immaterial world you come together."
|
|
|
|
The Chemist stooped upon the ground beside the boy, and, with the
|
|
same kind of compassion for him that he now felt for himself,
|
|
covered him as he slept, and no longer shrank from him with
|
|
abhorrence or indifference.
|
|
|
|
Soon, now, the distant line on the horizon brightened, the darkness
|
|
faded, the sun rose red and glorious, and the chimney stacks and
|
|
gables of the ancient building gleamed in the clear air, which
|
|
turned the smoke and vapour of the city into a cloud of gold. The
|
|
very sun-dial in his shady corner, where the wind was used to spin
|
|
with such unwindy constancy, shook off the finer particles of snow
|
|
that had accumulated on his dull old face in the night, and looked
|
|
out at the little white wreaths eddying round and round him.
|
|
Doubtless some blind groping of the morning made its way down into
|
|
the forgotten crypt so cold and earthy, where the Norman arches
|
|
were half buried in the ground, and stirred the dull sap in the
|
|
lazy vegetation hanging to the walls, and quickened the slow
|
|
principle of life within the little world of wonderful and delicate
|
|
creation which existed there, with some faint knowledge that the
|
|
sun was up.
|
|
|
|
The Tetterbys were up, and doing. Mr. Tetterby took down the
|
|
shutters of the shop, and, strip by strip, revealed the treasures
|
|
of the window to the eyes, so proof against their seductions, of
|
|
Jerusalem Buildings. Adolphus had been out so long already, that
|
|
he was halfway on to "Morning Pepper." Five small Tetterbys, whose
|
|
ten round eyes were much inflamed by soap and friction, were in the
|
|
tortures of a cool wash in the back kitchen; Mrs. Tetterby
|
|
presiding. Johnny, who was pushed and hustled through his toilet
|
|
with great rapidity when Moloch chanced to be in an exacting frame
|
|
of mind (which was always the case), staggered up and down with his
|
|
charge before the shop door, under greater difficulties than usual;
|
|
the weight of Moloch being much increased by a complication of
|
|
defences against the cold, composed of knitted worsted-work, and
|
|
forming a complete suit of chain-armour, with a head-piece and blue
|
|
gaiters.
|
|
|
|
It was a peculiarity of this baby to be always cutting teeth.
|
|
Whether they never came, or whether they came and went away again,
|
|
is not in evidence; but it had certainly cut enough, on the showing
|
|
of Mrs. Tetterby, to make a handsome dental provision for the sign
|
|
of the Bull and Mouth. All sorts of objects were impressed for the
|
|
rubbing of its gums, notwithstanding that it always carried,
|
|
dangling at its waist (which was immediately under its chin), a
|
|
bone ring, large enough to have represented the rosary of a young
|
|
nun. Knife-handles, umbrella-tops, the heads of walking-sticks
|
|
selected from the stock, the fingers of the family in general, but
|
|
especially of Johnny, nutmeg-graters, crusts, the handles of doors,
|
|
and the cool knobs on the tops of pokers, were among the commonest
|
|
instruments indiscriminately applied for this baby's relief. The
|
|
amount of electricity that must have been rubbed out of it in a
|
|
week, is not to be calculated. Still Mrs. Tetterby always said "it
|
|
was coming through, and then the child would be herself;" and still
|
|
it never did come through, and the child continued to be somebody
|
|
else.
|
|
|
|
The tempers of the little Tetterbys had sadly changed with a few
|
|
hours. Mr. and Mrs. Tetterby themselves were not more altered than
|
|
their offspring. Usually they were an unselfish, good-natured,
|
|
yielding little race, sharing short commons when it happened (which
|
|
was pretty often) contentedly and even generously, and taking a
|
|
great deal of enjoyment out of a very little meat. But they were
|
|
fighting now, not only for the soap and water, but even for the
|
|
breakfast which was yet in perspective. The hand of every little
|
|
Tetterby was against the other little Tetterbys; and even Johnny's
|
|
hand - the patient, much-enduring, and devoted Johnny - rose
|
|
against the baby! Yes, Mrs. Tetterby, going to the door by mere
|
|
accident, saw him viciously pick out a weak place in the suit of
|
|
armour where a slap would tell, and slap that blessed child.
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Tetterby had him into the parlour by the collar, in that same
|
|
flash of time, and repaid him the assault with usury thereto.
|
|
|
|
"You brute, you murdering little boy," said Mrs. Tetterby. "Had
|
|
you the heart to do it?"
|
|
|
|
"Why don't her teeth come through, then," retorted Johnny, in a
|
|
loud rebellious voice, "instead of bothering me? How would you
|
|
like it yourself?"
|
|
|
|
"Like it, sir!" said Mrs. Tetterby, relieving him of his
|
|
dishonoured load.
|
|
|
|
"Yes, like it," said Johnny. "How would you? Not at all. If you
|
|
was me, you'd go for a soldier. I will, too. There an't no babies
|
|
in the Army."
|
|
|
|
Mr. Tetterby, who had arrived upon the scene of action, rubbed his
|
|
chin thoughtfully, instead of correcting the rebel, and seemed
|
|
rather struck by this view of a military life.
|
|
|
|
"I wish I was in the Army myself, if the child's in the right,"
|
|
said Mrs. Tetterby, looking at her husband, "for I have no peace of
|
|
my life here. I'm a slave - a Virginia slave:" some indistinct
|
|
association with their weak descent on the tobacco trade perhaps
|
|
suggested this aggravated expression to Mrs. Tetterby. "I never
|
|
have a holiday, or any pleasure at all, from year's end to year's
|
|
end! Why, Lord bless and save the child," said Mrs. Tetterby,
|
|
shaking the baby with an irritability hardly suited to so pious an
|
|
aspiration, "what's the matter with her now?"
|
|
|
|
Not being able to discover, and not rendering the subject much
|
|
clearer by shaking it, Mrs. Tetterby put the baby away in a cradle,
|
|
and, folding her arms, sat rocking it angrily with her foot.
|
|
|
|
"How you stand there, 'Dolphus," said Mrs. Tetterby to her husband.
|
|
"Why don't you do something?"
|
|
|
|
"Because I don't care about doing anything," Mr. Tetterby replied.
|
|
|
|
"I am sure I don't," said Mrs. Tetterby.
|
|
|
|
"I'll take my oath I don't," said Mr. Tetterby.
|
|
|
|
A diversion arose here among Johnny and his five younger brothers,
|
|
who, in preparing the family breakfast table, had fallen to
|
|
skirmishing for the temporary possession of the loaf, and were
|
|
buffeting one another with great heartiness; the smallest boy of
|
|
all, with precocious discretion, hovering outside the knot of
|
|
combatants, and harassing their legs. Into the midst of this fray,
|
|
Mr. and Mrs. Tetterby both precipitated themselves with great
|
|
ardour, as if such ground were the only ground on which they could
|
|
now agree; and having, with no visible remains of their late soft-
|
|
heartedness, laid about them without any lenity, and done much
|
|
execution, resumed their former relative positions.
|
|
|
|
"You had better read your paper than do nothing at all," said Mrs.
|
|
Tetterby.
|
|
|
|
"What's there to read in a paper?" returned Mr. Tetterby, with
|
|
excessive discontent.
|
|
|
|
"What?" said Mrs. Tetterby. "Police."
|
|
|
|
"It's nothing to me," said Tetterby. "What do I care what people
|
|
do, or are done to?"
|
|
|
|
"Suicides," suggested Mrs. Tetterby.
|
|
|
|
"No business of mine," replied her husband.
|
|
|
|
"Births, deaths, and marriages, are those nothing to you?" said
|
|
Mrs. Tetterby.
|
|
|
|
"If the births were all over for good, and all to-day; and the
|
|
deaths were all to begin to come off to-morrow; I don't see why it
|
|
should interest me, till I thought it was a coming to my turn,"
|
|
grumbled Tetterby. "As to marriages, I've done it myself. I know
|
|
quite enough about THEM."
|
|
|
|
To judge from the dissatisfied expression of her face and manner,
|
|
Mrs. Tetterby appeared to entertain the same opinions as her
|
|
husband; but she opposed him, nevertheless, for the gratification
|
|
of quarrelling with him.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, you're a consistent man," said Mrs. Tetterby, "an't you? You,
|
|
with the screen of your own making there, made of nothing else but
|
|
bits of newspapers, which you sit and read to the children by the
|
|
half-hour together!"
|
|
|
|
"Say used to, if you please," returned her husband. "You won't
|
|
find me doing so any more. I'm wiser now."
|
|
|
|
"Bah! wiser, indeed!" said Mrs. Tetterby. "Are you better?"
|
|
|
|
The question sounded some discordant note in Mr. Tetterby's breast.
|
|
He ruminated dejectedly, and passed his hand across and across his
|
|
forehead.
|
|
|
|
"Better!" murmured Mr. Tetterby. "I don't know as any of us are
|
|
better, or happier either. Better, is it?"
|
|
|
|
He turned to the screen, and traced about it with his finger, until
|
|
he found a certain paragraph of which he was in quest.
|
|
|
|
"This used to be one of the family favourites, I recollect," said
|
|
Tetterby, in a forlorn and stupid way, "and used to draw tears from
|
|
the children, and make 'em good, if there was any little bickering
|
|
or discontent among 'em, next to the story of the robin redbreasts
|
|
in the wood. 'Melancholy case of destitution. Yesterday a small
|
|
man, with a baby in his arms, and surrounded by half-a-dozen ragged
|
|
little ones, of various ages between ten and two, the whole of whom
|
|
were evidently in a famishing condition, appeared before the worthy
|
|
magistrate, and made the following recital:' - Ha! I don't
|
|
understand it, I'm sure," said Tetterby; "I don't see what it has
|
|
got to do with us."
|
|
|
|
"How old and shabby he looks," said Mrs. Tetterby, watching him.
|
|
"I never saw such a change in a man. Ah! dear me, dear me, dear
|
|
me, it was a sacrifice!"
|
|
|
|
"What was a sacrifice?" her husband sourly inquired.
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Tetterby shook her head; and without replying in words, raised
|
|
a complete sea-storm about the baby, by her violent agitation of
|
|
the cradle.
|
|
|
|
"If you mean your marriage was a sacrifice, my good woman - " said
|
|
her husband.
|
|
|
|
"I DO mean it" said his wife.
|
|
|
|
"Why, then I mean to say," pursued Mr. Tetterby, as sulkily and
|
|
surlily as she, "that there are two sides to that affair; and that
|
|
I was the sacrifice; and that I wish the sacrifice hadn't been
|
|
accepted."
|
|
|
|
"I wish it hadn't, Tetterby, with all my heart and soul I do assure
|
|
you," said his wife. "You can't wish it more than I do, Tetterby."
|
|
|
|
"I don't know what I saw in her," muttered the newsman, "I'm sure;
|
|
- certainly, if I saw anything, it's not there now. I was thinking
|
|
so, last night, after supper, by the fire. She's fat, she's
|
|
ageing, she won't bear comparison with most other women."
|
|
|
|
"He's common-looking, he has no air with him, he's small, he's
|
|
beginning to stoop and he's getting bald," muttered Mrs. Tetterby.
|
|
|
|
"I must have been half out of my mind when I did it," muttered Mr.
|
|
Tetterby.
|
|
|
|
"My senses must have forsook me. That's the only way in which I
|
|
can explain it to myself," said Mrs. Tetterby with elaboration.
|
|
|
|
In this mood they sat down to breakfast. The little Tetterbys were
|
|
not habituated to regard that meal in the light of a sedentary
|
|
occupation, but discussed it as a dance or trot; rather resembling
|
|
a savage ceremony, in the occasionally shrill whoops, and
|
|
brandishings of bread and butter, with which it was accompanied, as
|
|
well as in the intricate filings off into the street and back
|
|
again, and the hoppings up and down the door-steps, which were
|
|
incidental to the performance. In the present instance, the
|
|
contentions between these Tetterby children for the milk-and-water
|
|
jug, common to all, which stood upon the table, presented so
|
|
lamentable an instance of angry passions risen very high indeed,
|
|
that it was an outrage on the memory of Dr. Watts. It was not
|
|
until Mr. Tetterby had driven the whole herd out at the front door,
|
|
that a moment's peace was secured; and even that was broken by the
|
|
discovery that Johnny had surreptitiously come back, and was at
|
|
that instant choking in the jug like a ventriloquist, in his
|
|
indecent and rapacious haste.
|
|
|
|
"These children will be the death of me at last!" said Mrs.
|
|
Tetterby, after banishing the culprit. "And the sooner the better,
|
|
I think."
|
|
|
|
"Poor people," said Mr. Tetterby, "ought not to have children at
|
|
all. They give US no pleasure."
|
|
|
|
He was at that moment taking up the cup which Mrs. Tetterby had
|
|
rudely pushed towards him, and Mrs. Tetterby was lifting her own
|
|
cup to her lips, when they both stopped, as if they were
|
|
transfixed.
|
|
|
|
"Here! Mother! Father!" cried Johnny, running into the room.
|
|
"Here's Mrs. William coming down the street!"
|
|
|
|
And if ever, since the world began, a young boy took a baby from a
|
|
cradle with the care of an old nurse, and hushed and soothed it
|
|
tenderly, and tottered away with it cheerfully, Johnny was that
|
|
boy, and Moloch was that baby, as they went out together!
|
|
|
|
Mr. Tetterby put down his cup; Mrs. Tetterby put down her cup. Mr.
|
|
Tetterby rubbed his forehead; Mrs. Tetterby rubbed hers. Mr.
|
|
Tetterby's face began to smooth and brighten; Mrs. Tetterby's began
|
|
to smooth and brighten.
|
|
|
|
"Why, Lord forgive me," said Mr. Tetterby to himself, "what evil
|
|
tempers have I been giving way to? What has been the matter here!"
|
|
|
|
"How could I ever treat him ill again, after all I said and felt
|
|
last night!" sobbed Mrs. Tetterby, with her apron to her eyes.
|
|
|
|
"Am I a brute," said Mr. Tetterby, "or is there any good in me at
|
|
all? Sophia! My little woman!"
|
|
|
|
"'Dolphus dear," returned his wife.
|
|
|
|
"I - I've been in a state of mind," said Mr. Tetterby, "that I
|
|
can't abear to think of, Sophy."
|
|
|
|
"Oh! It's nothing to what I've been in, Dolf," cried his wife in a
|
|
great burst of grief.
|
|
|
|
"My Sophia," said Mr. Tetterby, "don't take on. I never shall
|
|
forgive myself. I must have nearly broke your heart, I know."
|
|
|
|
"No, Dolf, no. It was me! Me!" cried Mrs. Tetterby.
|
|
|
|
"My little woman," said her husband, "don't. You make me reproach
|
|
myself dreadful, when you show such a noble spirit. Sophia, my
|
|
dear, you don't know what I thought. I showed it bad enough, no
|
|
doubt; but what I thought, my little woman! - "
|
|
|
|
"Oh, dear Dolf, don't! Don't!" cried his wife.
|
|
|
|
"Sophia," said Mr. Tetterby, "I must reveal it. I couldn't rest in
|
|
my conscience unless I mentioned it. My little woman - "
|
|
|
|
"Mrs. William's very nearly here!" screamed Johnny at the door.
|
|
|
|
"My little woman, I wondered how," gasped Mr. Tetterby, supporting
|
|
himself by his chair, "I wondered how I had ever admired you - I
|
|
forgot the precious children you have brought about me, and thought
|
|
you didn't look as slim as I could wish. I - I never gave a
|
|
recollection," said Mr. Tetterby, with severe self-accusation, "to
|
|
the cares you've had as my wife, and along of me and mine, when you
|
|
might have had hardly any with another man, who got on better and
|
|
was luckier than me (anybody might have found such a man easily I
|
|
am sure); and I quarrelled with you for having aged a little in the
|
|
rough years you have lightened for me. Can you believe it, my
|
|
little woman? I hardly can myself."
|
|
|
|
Mrs. Tetterby, in a whirlwind of laughing and crying, caught his
|
|
face within her hands, and held it there.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, Dolf!" she cried. "I am so happy that you thought so; I am so
|
|
grateful that you thought so! For I thought that you were common-
|
|
looking, Dolf; and so you are, my dear, and may you be the
|
|
commonest of all sights in my eyes, till you close them with your
|
|
own good hands. I thought that you were small; and so you are, and
|
|
I'll make much of you because you are, and more of you because I
|
|
love my husband. I thought that you began to stoop; and so you do,
|
|
and you shall lean on me, and I'll do all I can to keep you up. I
|
|
thought there was no air about you; but there is, and it's the air
|
|
of home, and that's the purest and the best there is, and God bless
|
|
home once more, and all belonging to it, Dolf!"
|
|
|
|
"Hurrah! Here's Mrs. William!" cried Johnny.
|
|
|
|
So she was, and all the children with her; and so she came in, they
|
|
kissed her, and kissed one another, and kissed the baby, and kissed
|
|
their father and mother, and then ran back and flocked and danced
|
|
about her, trooping on with her in triumph.
|
|
|
|
Mr. and Mrs. Tetterby were not a bit behind-hand in the warmth of
|
|
their reception. They were as much attracted to her as the
|
|
children were; they ran towards her, kissed her hands, pressed
|
|
round her, could not receive her ardently or enthusiastically
|
|
enough. She came among them like the spirit of all goodness,
|
|
affection, gentle consideration, love, and domesticity.
|
|
|
|
"What! are YOU all so glad to see me, too, this bright Christmas
|
|
morning?" said Milly, clapping her hands in a pleasant wonder. "Oh
|
|
dear, how delightful this is!"
|
|
|
|
More shouting from the children, more kissing, more trooping round
|
|
her, more happiness, more love, more joy, more honour, on all
|
|
sides, than she could bear.
|
|
|
|
"Oh dear!" said Milly, "what delicious tears you make me shed. How
|
|
can I ever have deserved this! What have I done to be so loved?"
|
|
|
|
"Who can help it!" cried Mr. Tetterby.
|
|
|
|
"Who can help it!" cried Mrs. Tetterby.
|
|
|
|
"Who can help it!" echoed the children, in a joyful chorus. And
|
|
they danced and trooped about her again, and clung to her, and laid
|
|
their rosy faces against her dress, and kissed and fondled it, and
|
|
could not fondle it, or her, enough.
|
|
|
|
"I never was so moved," said Milly, drying her eyes, "as I have
|
|
been this morning. I must tell you, as soon as I can speak. - Mr.
|
|
Redlaw came to me at sunrise, and with a tenderness in his manner,
|
|
more as if I had been his darling daughter than myself, implored me
|
|
to go with him to where William's brother George is lying ill. We
|
|
went together, and all the way along he was so kind, and so
|
|
subdued, and seemed to put such trust and hope in me, that I could
|
|
not help trying with pleasure. When we got to the house, we met a
|
|
woman at the door (somebody had bruised and hurt her, I am afraid),
|
|
who caught me by the hand, and blessed me as I passed."
|
|
|
|
"She was right!" said Mr. Tetterby. Mrs. Tetterby said she was
|
|
right. All the children cried out that she was right.
|
|
|
|
"Ah, but there's more than that," said Milly. "When we got up
|
|
stairs, into the room, the sick man who had lain for hours in a
|
|
state from which no effort could rouse him, rose up in his bed,
|
|
and, bursting into tears, stretched out his arms to me, and said
|
|
that he had led a mis-spent life, but that he was truly repentant
|
|
now, in his sorrow for the past, which was all as plain to him as a
|
|
great prospect, from which a dense black cloud had cleared away,
|
|
and that he entreated me to ask his poor old father for his pardon
|
|
and his blessing, and to say a prayer beside his bed. And when I
|
|
did so, Mr. Redlaw joined in it so fervently, and then so thanked
|
|
and thanked me, and thanked Heaven, that my heart quite overflowed,
|
|
and I could have done nothing but sob and cry, if the sick man had
|
|
not begged me to sit down by him, - which made me quiet of course.
|
|
As I sat there, he held my hand in his until he sank in a doze; and
|
|
even then, when I withdrew my hand to leave him to come here (which
|
|
Mr. Redlaw was very earnest indeed in wishing me to do), his hand
|
|
felt for mine, so that some one else was obliged to take my place
|
|
and make believe to give him my hand back. Oh dear, oh dear," said
|
|
Milly, sobbing. "How thankful and how happy I should feel, and do
|
|
feel, for all this!"
|
|
|
|
While she was speaking, Redlaw had come in, and, after pausing for
|
|
a moment to observe the group of which she was the centre, had
|
|
silently ascended the stairs. Upon those stairs he now appeared
|
|
again; remaining there, while the young student passed him, and
|
|
came running down.
|
|
|
|
"Kind nurse, gentlest, best of creatures," he said, falling on his
|
|
knee to her, and catching at her hand, "forgive my cruel
|
|
ingratitude!"
|
|
|
|
"Oh dear, oh dear!" cried Milly innocently, "here's another of
|
|
them! Oh dear, here's somebody else who likes me. What shall I
|
|
ever do!"
|
|
|
|
The guileless, simple way in which she said it, and in which she
|
|
put her hands before her eyes and wept for very happiness, was as
|
|
touching as it was delightful.
|
|
|
|
"I was not myself," he said. "I don't know what it was - it was
|
|
some consequence of my disorder perhaps - I was mad. But I am so
|
|
no longer. Almost as I speak, I am restored. I heard the children
|
|
crying out your name, and the shade passed from me at the very
|
|
sound of it. Oh, don't weep! Dear Milly, if you could read my
|
|
heart, and only knew with what affection and what grateful homage
|
|
it is glowing, you would not let me see you weep. It is such deep
|
|
reproach."
|
|
|
|
"No, no," said Milly, "it's not that. It's not indeed. It's joy.
|
|
It's wonder that you should think it necessary to ask me to forgive
|
|
so little, and yet it's pleasure that you do."
|
|
|
|
"And will you come again? and will you finish the little curtain?"
|
|
|
|
"No," said Milly, drying her eyes, and shaking her head. "You
|
|
won't care for my needlework now."
|
|
|
|
"Is it forgiving me, to say that?"
|
|
|
|
She beckoned him aside, and whispered in his ear.
|
|
|
|
"There is news from your home, Mr. Edmund."
|
|
|
|
"News? How?"
|
|
|
|
"Either your not writing when you were very ill, or the change in
|
|
your handwriting when you began to be better, created some
|
|
suspicion of the truth; however that is - but you're sure you'll
|
|
not be the worse for any news, if it's not bad news?"
|
|
|
|
"Sure."
|
|
|
|
"Then there's some one come!" said Milly.
|
|
|
|
"My mother?" asked the student, glancing round involuntarily
|
|
towards Redlaw, who had come down from the stairs.
|
|
|
|
"Hush! No," said Milly.
|
|
|
|
"It can be no one else."
|
|
|
|
"Indeed?" said Milly, "are you sure?"
|
|
|
|
"It is not -" Before he could say more, she put her hand upon his
|
|
mouth.
|
|
|
|
"Yes it is!" said Milly. "The young lady (she is very like the
|
|
miniature, Mr. Edmund, but she is prettier) was too unhappy to rest
|
|
without satisfying her doubts, and came up, last night, with a
|
|
little servant-maid. As you always dated your letters from the
|
|
college, she came there; and before I saw Mr. Redlaw this morning,
|
|
I saw her. SHE likes me too!" said Milly. "Oh dear, that's
|
|
another!"
|
|
|
|
"This morning! Where is she now?"
|
|
|
|
"Why, she is now," said Milly, advancing her lips to his ear, "in
|
|
my little parlour in the Lodge, and waiting to see you."
|
|
|
|
He pressed her hand, and was darting off, but she detained him.
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Redlaw is much altered, and has told me this morning that his
|
|
memory is impaired. Be very considerate to him, Mr. Edmund; he
|
|
needs that from us all."
|
|
|
|
The young man assured her, by a look, that her caution was not ill-
|
|
bestowed; and as he passed the Chemist on his way out, bent
|
|
respectfully and with an obvious interest before him.
|
|
|
|
Redlaw returned the salutation courteously and even humbly, and
|
|
looked after him as he passed on. He dropped his head upon his
|
|
hand too, as trying to reawaken something he had lost. But it was
|
|
gone.
|
|
|
|
The abiding change that had come upon him since the influence of
|
|
the music, and the Phantom's reappearance, was, that now he truly
|
|
felt how much he had lost, and could compassionate his own
|
|
condition, and contrast it, clearly, with the natural state of
|
|
those who were around him. In this, an interest in those who were
|
|
around him was revived, and a meek, submissive sense of his
|
|
calamity was bred, resembling that which sometimes obtains in age,
|
|
when its mental powers are weakened, without insensibility or
|
|
sullenness being added to the list of its infirmities.
|
|
|
|
He was conscious that, as he redeemed, through Milly, more and more
|
|
of the evil he had done, and as he was more and more with her, this
|
|
change ripened itself within him. Therefore, and because of the
|
|
attachment she inspired him with (but without other hope), he felt
|
|
that he was quite dependent on her, and that she was his staff in
|
|
his affliction.
|
|
|
|
So, when she asked him whether they should go home now, to where
|
|
the old man and her husband were, and he readily replied "yes" -
|
|
being anxious in that regard - he put his arm through hers, and
|
|
walked beside her; not as if he were the wise and learned man to
|
|
whom the wonders of Nature were an open book, and hers were the
|
|
uninstructed mind, but as if their two positions were reversed, and
|
|
he knew nothing, and she all.
|
|
|
|
He saw the children throng about her, and caress her, as he and she
|
|
went away together thus, out of the house; he heard the ringing of
|
|
their laughter, and their merry voices; he saw their bright faces,
|
|
clustering around him like flowers; he witnessed the renewed
|
|
contentment and affection of their parents; he breathed the simple
|
|
air of their poor home, restored to its tranquillity; he thought of
|
|
the unwholesome blight he had shed upon it, and might, but for her,
|
|
have been diffusing then; and perhaps it is no wonder that he
|
|
walked submissively beside her, and drew her gentle bosom nearer to
|
|
his own.
|
|
|
|
When they arrived at the Lodge, the old man was sitting in his
|
|
chair in the chimney-corner, with his eyes fixed on the ground, and
|
|
his son was leaning against the opposite side of the fire-place,
|
|
looking at him. As she came in at the door, both started, and
|
|
turned round towards her, and a radiant change came upon their
|
|
faces.
|
|
|
|
"Oh dear, dear, dear, they are all pleased to see me like the
|
|
rest!" cried Milly, clapping her hands in an ecstasy, and stopping
|
|
short. "Here are two more!"
|
|
|
|
Pleased to see her! Pleasure was no word for it. She ran into her
|
|
husband's arms, thrown wide open to receive her, and he would have
|
|
been glad to have her there, with her head lying on his shoulder,
|
|
through the short winter's day. But the old man couldn't spare
|
|
her. He had arms for her too, and he locked her in them.
|
|
|
|
"Why, where has my quiet Mouse been all this time?" said the old
|
|
man. "She has been a long while away. I find that it's impossible
|
|
for me to get on without Mouse. I - where's my son William? - I
|
|
fancy I have been dreaming, William."
|
|
|
|
"That's what I say myself, father," returned his son. "I have been
|
|
in an ugly sort of dream, I think. - How are you, father? Are you
|
|
pretty well?"
|
|
|
|
"Strong and brave, my boy," returned the old man.
|
|
|
|
It was quite a sight to see Mr. William shaking hands with his
|
|
father, and patting him on the back, and rubbing him gently down
|
|
with his hand, as if he could not possibly do enough to show an
|
|
interest in him.
|
|
|
|
"What a wonderful man you are, father! - How are you, father? Are
|
|
you really pretty hearty, though?" said William, shaking hands with
|
|
him again, and patting him again, and rubbing him gently down
|
|
again.
|
|
|
|
"I never was fresher or stouter in my life, my boy."
|
|
|
|
"What a wonderful man you are, father! But that's exactly where it
|
|
is," said Mr. William, with enthusiasm. "When I think of all that
|
|
my father's gone through, and all the chances and changes, and
|
|
sorrows and troubles, that have happened to him in the course of
|
|
his long life, and under which his head has grown grey, and years
|
|
upon years have gathered on it, I feel as if we couldn't do enough
|
|
to honour the old gentleman, and make his old age easy. - How are
|
|
you, father? Are you really pretty well, though?"
|
|
|
|
Mr. William might never have left off repeating this inquiry, and
|
|
shaking hands with him again, and patting him again, and rubbing
|
|
him down again, if the old man had not espied the Chemist, whom
|
|
until now he had not seen.
|
|
|
|
"I ask your pardon, Mr. Redlaw," said Philip, "but didn't know you
|
|
were here, sir, or should have made less free. It reminds me, Mr.
|
|
Redlaw, seeing you here on a Christmas morning, of the time when
|
|
you was a student yourself, and worked so hard that you were
|
|
backwards and forwards in our Library even at Christmas time. Ha!
|
|
ha! I'm old enough to remember that; and I remember it right well,
|
|
I do, though I am eight-seven. It was after you left here that my
|
|
poor wife died. You remember my poor wife, Mr. Redlaw?"
|
|
|
|
The Chemist answered yes.
|
|
|
|
"Yes," said the old man. "She was a dear creetur. - I recollect
|
|
you come here one Christmas morning with a young lady - I ask your
|
|
pardon, Mr. Redlaw, but I think it was a sister you was very much
|
|
attached to?"
|
|
|
|
The Chemist looked at him, and shook his head. "I had a sister,"
|
|
he said vacantly. He knew no more.
|
|
|
|
"One Christmas morning," pursued the old man, "that you come here
|
|
with her - and it began to snow, and my wife invited the lady to
|
|
walk in, and sit by the fire that is always a burning on Christmas
|
|
Day in what used to be, before our ten poor gentlemen commuted, our
|
|
great Dinner Hall. I was there; and I recollect, as I was stirring
|
|
up the blaze for the young lady to warm her pretty feet by, she
|
|
read the scroll out loud, that is underneath that pictur, 'Lord,
|
|
keep my memory green!' She and my poor wife fell a talking about
|
|
it; and it's a strange thing to think of, now, that they both said
|
|
(both being so unlike to die) that it was a good prayer, and that
|
|
it was one they would put up very earnestly, if they were called
|
|
away young, with reference to those who were dearest to them. 'My
|
|
brother,' says the young lady - 'My husband,' says my poor wife. -
|
|
'Lord, keep his memory of me, green, and do not let me be
|
|
forgotten!'"
|
|
|
|
Tears more painful, and more bitter than he had ever shed in all
|
|
his life, coursed down Redlaw's face. Philip, fully occupied in
|
|
recalling his story, had not observed him until now, nor Milly's
|
|
anxiety that he should not proceed.
|
|
|
|
"Philip!" said Redlaw, laying his hand upon his arm, "I am a
|
|
stricken man, on whom the hand of Providence has fallen heavily,
|
|
although deservedly. You speak to me, my friend, of what I cannot
|
|
follow; my memory is gone."
|
|
|
|
"Merciful power!" cried the old man.
|
|
|
|
"I have lost my memory of sorrow, wrong, and trouble," said the
|
|
Chemist, "and with that I have lost all man would remember!"
|
|
|
|
To see old Philip's pity for him, to see him wheel his own great
|
|
chair for him to rest in, and look down upon him with a solemn
|
|
sense of his bereavement, was to know, in some degree, how precious
|
|
to old age such recollections are.
|
|
|
|
The boy came running in, and ran to Milly.
|
|
|
|
"Here's the man," he said, "in the other room. I don't want HIM."
|
|
|
|
"What man does he mean?" asked Mr. William.
|
|
|
|
"Hush!" said Milly.
|
|
|
|
Obedient to a sign from her, he and his old father softly withdrew.
|
|
As they went out, unnoticed, Redlaw beckoned to the boy to come to
|
|
him.
|
|
|
|
"I like the woman best," he answered, holding to her skirts.
|
|
|
|
"You are right," said Redlaw, with a faint smile. "But you needn't
|
|
fear to come to me. I am gentler than I was. Of all the world, to
|
|
you, poor child!"
|
|
|
|
The boy still held back at first, but yielding little by little to
|
|
her urging, he consented to approach, and even to sit down at his
|
|
feet. As Redlaw laid his hand upon the shoulder of the child,
|
|
looking on him with compassion and a fellow-feeling, he put out his
|
|
other hand to Milly. She stooped down on that side of him, so that
|
|
she could look into his face, and after silence, said:
|
|
|
|
"Mr. Redlaw, may I speak to you?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes," he answered, fixing his eyes upon her. "Your voice and
|
|
music are the same to me."
|
|
|
|
"May I ask you something?"
|
|
|
|
"What you will."
|
|
|
|
"Do you remember what I said, when I knocked at your door last
|
|
night? About one who was your friend once, and who stood on the
|
|
verge of destruction?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes. I remember," he said, with some hesitation.
|
|
|
|
"Do you understand it?"
|
|
|
|
He smoothed the boy's hair - looking at her fixedly the while, and
|
|
shook his head.
|
|
|
|
"This person," said Milly, in her clear, soft voice, which her mild
|
|
eyes, looking at him, made clearer and softer, "I found soon
|
|
afterwards. I went back to the house, and, with Heaven's help,
|
|
traced him. I was not too soon. A very little and I should have
|
|
been too late."
|
|
|
|
He took his hand from the boy, and laying it on the back of that
|
|
hand of hers, whose timid and yet earnest touch addressed him no
|
|
less appealingly than her voice and eyes, looked more intently on
|
|
her.
|
|
|
|
"He IS the father of Mr. Edmund, the young gentleman we saw just
|
|
now. His real name is Longford. - You recollect the name?"
|
|
|
|
"I recollect the name."
|
|
|
|
"And the man?"
|
|
|
|
"No, not the man. Did he ever wrong me?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes!"
|
|
|
|
"Ah! Then it's hopeless - hopeless."
|
|
|
|
He shook his head, and softly beat upon the hand he held, as though
|
|
mutely asking her commiseration.
|
|
|
|
"I did not go to Mr. Edmund last night," said Milly, - "You will
|
|
listen to me just the same as if you did remember all?"
|
|
|
|
"To every syllable you say."
|
|
|
|
"Both, because I did not know, then, that this really was his
|
|
father, and because I was fearful of the effect of such
|
|
intelligence upon him, after his illness, if it should be. Since I
|
|
have known who this person is, I have not gone either; but that is
|
|
for another reason. He has long been separated from his wife and
|
|
son - has been a stranger to his home almost from this son's
|
|
infancy, I learn from him - and has abandoned and deserted what he
|
|
should have held most dear. In all that time he has been falling
|
|
from the state of a gentleman, more and more, until - " she rose
|
|
up, hastily, and going out for a moment, returned, accompanied by
|
|
the wreck that Redlaw had beheld last night.
|
|
|
|
"Do you know me?" asked the Chemist.
|
|
|
|
"I should be glad," returned the other, "and that is an unwonted
|
|
word for me to use, if I could answer no."
|
|
|
|
The Chemist looked at the man, standing in self-abasement and
|
|
degradation before him, and would have looked longer, in an
|
|
ineffectual struggle for enlightenment, but that Milly resumed her
|
|
late position by his side, and attracted his attentive gaze to her
|
|
own face.
|
|
|
|
"See how low he is sunk, how lost he is!" she whispered, stretching
|
|
out her arm towards him, without looking from the Chemist's face.
|
|
"If you could remember all that is connected with him, do you not
|
|
think it would move your pity to reflect that one you ever loved
|
|
(do not let us mind how long ago, or in what belief that he has
|
|
forfeited), should come to this?"
|
|
|
|
"I hope it would," he answered. "I believe it would."
|
|
|
|
His eyes wandered to the figure standing near the door, but came
|
|
back speedily to her, on whom he gazed intently, as if he strove to
|
|
learn some lesson from every tone of her voice, and every beam of
|
|
her eyes.
|
|
|
|
"I have no learning, and you have much," said Milly; "I am not used
|
|
to think, and you are always thinking. May I tell you why it seems
|
|
to me a good thing for us, to remember wrong that has been done
|
|
us?"
|
|
|
|
"Yes."
|
|
|
|
"That we may forgive it."
|
|
|
|
"Pardon me, great Heaven!" said Redlaw, lifting up his eyes, "for
|
|
having thrown away thine own high attribute!"
|
|
|
|
"And if," said Milly, "if your memory should one day be restored,
|
|
as we will hope and pray it may be, would it not be a blessing to
|
|
you to recall at once a wrong and its forgiveness?"
|
|
|
|
He looked at the figure by the door, and fastened his attentive
|
|
eyes on her again; a ray of clearer light appeared to him to shine
|
|
into his mind, from her bright face.
|
|
|
|
"He cannot go to his abandoned home. He does not seek to go there.
|
|
He knows that he could only carry shame and trouble to those he has
|
|
so cruelly neglected; and that the best reparation he can make them
|
|
now, is to avoid them. A very little money carefully bestowed,
|
|
would remove him to some distant place, where he might live and do
|
|
no wrong, and make such atonement as is left within his power for
|
|
the wrong he has done. To the unfortunate lady who is his wife,
|
|
and to his son, this would be the best and kindest boon that their
|
|
best friend could give them - one too that they need never know of;
|
|
and to him, shattered in reputation, mind, and body, it might be
|
|
salvation."
|
|
|
|
He took her head between her hands, and kissed it, and said: "It
|
|
shall be done. I trust to you to do it for me, now and secretly;
|
|
and to tell him that I would forgive him, if I were so happy as to
|
|
know for what."
|
|
|
|
As she rose, and turned her beaming face towards the fallen man,
|
|
implying that her mediation had been successful, he advanced a
|
|
step, and without raising his eyes, addressed himself to Redlaw.
|
|
|
|
"You are so generous," he said, " - you ever were - that you will
|
|
try to banish your rising sense of retribution in the spectacle
|
|
that is before you. I do not try to banish it from myself, Redlaw.
|
|
If you can, believe me."
|
|
|
|
The Chemist entreated Milly, by a gesture, to come nearer to him;
|
|
and, as he listened looked in her face, as if to find in it the
|
|
clue to what he heard.
|
|
|
|
"I am too decayed a wretch to make professions; I recollect my own
|
|
career too well, to array any such before you. But from the day on
|
|
which I made my first step downward, in dealing falsely by you, I
|
|
have gone down with a certain, steady, doomed progression. That, I
|
|
say."
|
|
|
|
Redlaw, keeping her close at his side, turned his face towards the
|
|
speaker, and there was sorrow in it. Something like mournful
|
|
recognition too.
|
|
|
|
"I might have been another man, my life might have been another
|
|
life, if I had avoided that first fatal step. I don't know that it
|
|
would have been. I claim nothing for the possibility. Your sister
|
|
is at rest, and better than she could have been with me, if I had
|
|
continued even what you thought me: even what I once supposed
|
|
myself to be."
|
|
|
|
Redlaw made a hasty motion with his hand, as if he would have put
|
|
that subject on one side.
|
|
|
|
"I speak," the other went on, "like a man taken from the grave. I
|
|
should have made my own grave, last night, had it not been for this
|
|
blessed hand."
|
|
|
|
"Oh dear, he likes me too!" sobbed Milly, under her breath.
|
|
"That's another!"
|
|
|
|
"I could not have put myself in your way, last night, even for
|
|
bread. But, to-day, my recollection of what has been is so
|
|
strongly stirred, and is presented to me, I don't know how, so
|
|
vividly, that I have dared to come at her suggestion, and to take
|
|
your bounty, and to thank you for it, and to beg you, Redlaw, in
|
|
your dying hour, to be as merciful to me in your thoughts, as you
|
|
are in your deeds."
|
|
|
|
He turned towards the door, and stopped a moment on his way forth.
|
|
|
|
"I hope my son may interest you, for his mother's sake. I hope he
|
|
may deserve to do so. Unless my life should be preserved a long
|
|
time, and I should know that I have not misused your aid, I shall
|
|
never look upon him more."
|
|
|
|
Going out, he raised his eyes to Redlaw for the first time.
|
|
Redlaw, whose steadfast gaze was fixed upon him, dreamily held out
|
|
his hand. He returned and touched it - little more - with both his
|
|
own; and bending down his head, went slowly out.
|
|
|
|
In the few moments that elapsed, while Milly silently took him to
|
|
the gate, the Chemist dropped into his chair, and covered his face
|
|
with his hands. Seeing him thus, when she came back, accompanied
|
|
by her husband and his father (who were both greatly concerned for
|
|
him), she avoided disturbing him, or permitting him to be
|
|
disturbed; and kneeled down near the chair to put some warm
|
|
clothing on the boy.
|
|
|
|
"That's exactly where it is. That's what I always say, father!"
|
|
exclaimed her admiring husband. "There's a motherly feeling in
|
|
Mrs. William's breast that must and will have went!"
|
|
|
|
"Ay, ay," said the old man; "you're right. My son William's
|
|
right!"
|
|
|
|
"It happens all for the best, Milly dear, no doubt," said Mr.
|
|
William, tenderly, "that we have no children of our own; and yet I
|
|
sometimes wish you had one to love and cherish. Our little dead
|
|
child that you built such hopes upon, and that never breathed the
|
|
breath of life - it has made you quiet-like, Milly."
|
|
|
|
"I am very happy in the recollection of it, William dear," she
|
|
answered. "I think of it every day."
|
|
|
|
"I was afraid you thought of it a good deal."
|
|
|
|
"Don't say, afraid; it is a comfort to me; it speaks to me in so
|
|
many ways. The innocent thing that never lived on earth, is like
|
|
an angel to me, William."
|
|
|
|
"You are like an angel to father and me," said Mr. William, softly.
|
|
"I know that."
|
|
|
|
"When I think of all those hopes I built upon it, and the many
|
|
times I sat and pictured to myself the little smiling face upon my
|
|
bosom that never lay there, and the sweet eyes turned up to mine
|
|
that never opened to the light," said Milly, "I can feel a greater
|
|
tenderness, I think, for all the disappointed hopes in which there
|
|
is no harm. When I see a beautiful child in its fond mother's
|
|
arms, I love it all the better, thinking that my child might have
|
|
been like that, and might have made my heart as proud and happy."
|
|
|
|
Redlaw raised his head, and looked towards her.
|
|
|
|
"All through life, it seems by me," she continued, "to tell me
|
|
something. For poor neglected children, my little child pleads as
|
|
if it were alive, and had a voice I knew, with which to speak to
|
|
me. When I hear of youth in suffering or shame, I think that my
|
|
child might have come to that, perhaps, and that God took it from
|
|
me in His mercy. Even in age and grey hair, such as father's, it
|
|
is present: saying that it too might have lived to be old, long
|
|
and long after you and I were gone, and to have needed the respect
|
|
and love of younger people."
|
|
|
|
Her quiet voice was quieter than ever, as she took her husband's
|
|
arm, and laid her head against it.
|
|
|
|
"Children love me so, that sometimes I half fancy - it's a silly
|
|
fancy, William - they have some way I don't know of, of feeling for
|
|
my little child, and me, and understanding why their love is
|
|
precious to me. If I have been quiet since, I have been more
|
|
happy, William, in a hundred ways. Not least happy, dear, in this
|
|
- that even when my little child was born and dead but a few days,
|
|
and I was weak and sorrowful, and could not help grieving a little,
|
|
the thought arose, that if I tried to lead a good life, I should
|
|
meet in Heaven a bright creature, who would call me, Mother!"
|
|
|
|
Redlaw fell upon his knees, with a loud cry.
|
|
|
|
"O Thou, he said, "who through the teaching of pure love, hast
|
|
graciously restored me to the memory which was the memory of Christ
|
|
upon the Cross, and of all the good who perished in His cause,
|
|
receive my thanks, and bless her!"
|
|
|
|
Then, he folded her to his heart; and Milly, sobbing more than
|
|
ever, cried, as she laughed, "He is come back to himself! He likes
|
|
me very much indeed, too! Oh, dear, dear, dear me, here's
|
|
another!"
|
|
|
|
Then, the student entered, leading by the hand a lovely girl, who
|
|
was afraid to come. And Redlaw so changed towards him, seeing in
|
|
him and his youthful choice, the softened shadow of that chastening
|
|
passage in his own life, to which, as to a shady tree, the dove so
|
|
long imprisoned in his solitary ark might fly for rest and company,
|
|
fell upon his neck, entreating them to be his children.
|
|
|
|
Then, as Christmas is a time in which, of all times in the year,
|
|
the memory of every remediable sorrow, wrong, and trouble in the
|
|
world around us, should be active with us, not less than our own
|
|
experiences, for all good, he laid his hand upon the boy, and,
|
|
silently calling Him to witness who laid His hand on children in
|
|
old time, rebuking, in the majesty of His prophetic knowledge,
|
|
those who kept them from Him, vowed to protect him, teach him, and
|
|
reclaim him.
|
|
|
|
Then, he gave his right hand cheerily to Philip, and said that they
|
|
would that day hold a Christmas dinner in what used to be, before
|
|
the ten poor gentlemen commuted, their great Dinner Hall; and that
|
|
they would bid to it as many of that Swidger family, who, his son
|
|
had told him, were so numerous that they might join hands and make
|
|
a ring round England, as could be brought together on so short a
|
|
notice.
|
|
|
|
And it was that day done. There were so many Swidgers there, grown
|
|
up and children, that an attempt to state them in round numbers
|
|
might engender doubts, in the distrustful, of the veracity of this
|
|
history. Therefore the attempt shall not be made. But there they
|
|
were, by dozens and scores - and there was good news and good hope
|
|
there, ready for them, of George, who had been visited again by his
|
|
father and brother, and by Milly, and again left in a quiet sleep.
|
|
There, present at the dinner, too, were the Tetterbys, including
|
|
young Adolphus, who arrived in his prismatic comforter, in good
|
|
time for the beef. Johnny and the baby were too late, of course,
|
|
and came in all on one side, the one exhausted, the other in a
|
|
supposed state of double-tooth; but that was customary, and not
|
|
alarming.
|
|
|
|
It was sad to see the child who had no name or lineage, watching
|
|
the other children as they played, not knowing how to talk with
|
|
them, or sport with them, and more strange to the ways of childhood
|
|
than a rough dog. It was sad, though in a different way, to see
|
|
what an instinctive knowledge the youngest children there had of
|
|
his being different from all the rest, and how they made timid
|
|
approaches to him with soft words and touches, and with little
|
|
presents, that he might not be unhappy. But he kept by Milly, and
|
|
began to love her - that was another, as she said! - and, as they
|
|
all liked her dearly, they were glad of that, and when they saw him
|
|
peeping at them from behind her chair, they were pleased that he
|
|
was so close to it.
|
|
|
|
All this, the Chemist, sitting with the student and his bride that
|
|
was to be, Philip, and the rest, saw.
|
|
|
|
Some people have said since, that he only thought what has been
|
|
herein set down; others, that he read it in the fire, one winter
|
|
night about the twilight time; others, that the Ghost was but the
|
|
representation of his gloomy thoughts, and Milly the embodiment of
|
|
his better wisdom. I say nothing.
|
|
|
|
- Except this. That as they were assembled in the old Hall, by no
|
|
other light than that of a great fire (having dined early), the
|
|
shadows once more stole out of their hiding-places, and danced
|
|
about the room, showing the children marvellous shapes and faces on
|
|
the walls, and gradually changing what was real and familiar there,
|
|
to what was wild and magical. But that there was one thing in the
|
|
Hall, to which the eyes of Redlaw, and of Milly and her husband,
|
|
and of the old man, and of the student, and his bride that was to
|
|
be, were often turned, which the shadows did not obscure or change.
|
|
Deepened in its gravity by the fire-light, and gazing from the
|
|
darkness of the panelled wall like life, the sedate face in the
|
|
portrait, with the beard and ruff, looked down at them from under
|
|
its verdant wreath of holly, as they looked up at it; and, clear
|
|
and plain below, as if a voice had uttered them, were the words.
|
|
|
|
Lord keep my Memory green.
|
|
|
|
End of the Project Gutenberg eText The Haunted Man and The Ghost's Bargain
|
|
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