530 lines
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530 lines
30 KiB
Plaintext
From: jmt0165@u.cc.utah.edu (Jon Taylor)
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Newsgroups: alt.drugs
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Subject: My first X experience
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Date: 17 Oct 1993 16:22:03 -0600
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Message-ID: <29sgib$rm9@u.cc.utah.edu>
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Wow. WOW. WOOOOOOOOOOW! Sorry... Had my first X experience this
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weekend, and I though I'd tell the net what it was like, and also ask a
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few questions abouyt this stuff to the people that know more about it than
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I do.
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I was well-prepared for the evening even before I took the X. I
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had eaten a sixteenth of shrooms (shitty) and taken 2 or 3 hits off the 3.5
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foot bong my friend has called Goliath (really good weed, too). By the
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time I got to the rave, I was so fucked up I was getting deep meaning from
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the music, free-associating with everything around me, and generally out
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of my skull. It actually wasn't very pleasant for about 40 minutes,
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untill my friends got back (they had a problem getting into the rave and
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had to go back home to get some different IDs). I hooked up with my
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source soon after that, too the little pill, and sat down in the UV room
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they had there to wait.
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By the time the X kicked in, the weed had worn off and I wasn't so
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out of it anymore. The first thing I noticed was a subtle alteration in
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my perceptions, followed by a slow but steady surge of energy throughout
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my whole body. It wasn't like caffeine or ephedrine, where you get really
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jittery, but rather it was very smooth and pleasant (VERY pleasant. I
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think this stuff could be addictive). While this was going on, I was just
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laying back in the UV room digging the cool sensations, and I noticed that
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little things like moving my hands across the foam mattress I was laying
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on gave *VERY* interesting sensations. I tried smoking a cigarette, and
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found it to be an incredibly sensual pleasure (I normally don't like
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smoking). My friend came in (sorry no first names, I'm a tad paranoid),
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and I was overcome with a rush of freindship-type feelings for him, and
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demanded a hug, which felt SO wonderful (I'm not gay, and it wasn't
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anything sexual, just a freindly-type thing). That was at about T+50
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minutes. I exchanged several more hugs with other friends. Shook hands
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with another first-timer, and just generally grooved on the cool vibes I
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was feeling.
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About five minutes later, Friend #1 convinced me to get off my ass
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and gout out to the dance floor and dance. I had been surprised before at
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my ability to just lay there (I had though that the Amphetamine effects
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would have procluded any kind of sitting still, but apparently not). I
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gout out and start dancing at about T+1 hour. I was really feeling it
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now, so while I was dacing my ass off I was spinning up to random people
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and asking them 'are you Xing'? I only found a couple of people who were,
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but I ended up dancing with this cute girl from a nearby town. We were
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slow-grind-dancing for a while, when things started to get REALLY weird.
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All of a sudden when I was staring into her eyes, and she was
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staring into mine (I normally have a hard time looking people in the eyes,
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but it was totally natural) when suddenly I found myself feeling that
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tightness in the chest you get when you are in love. *LOVE*. I had met
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this girl 15 minutes ago (we're at about T+1:45 here) and I was totally in
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love with her. This realization completely threw me, and I just reveled
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in it while we danced for a little while more, and then sat down in the UV
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room and smoked some more cigarettes (again, this was LOTS of fun). Also,
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One of my friends procured some 'toys': a peppermint nasal inhaler (makes
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your head feel like a peppermint patty), and a rainbow glo-stick (very
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cool looking).
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My friends came into the UV room again, and I suddenly realized I
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was in love with ALL of them, male and female. It wasn't really sexual,
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just pure love (something I don't think I've EVER experienced before). We
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got up and went to another room sat down in a crowd of people, and rolled
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a J and smoked up. Not too long after this, my friends decided to leave,
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but I was having too much fun to go, so I stayed and danced with this girl
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until the place closed a couple of hours later, and then walked about
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*THREE MILES* home, IN THE POURING RAIN. I even got totally lost,
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wandering around downtown SLC, and I didn't care because I had so much
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energy. I'm damn lucky I didn't get triple pneumonia. Got home about T+6
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hours, fell into bed, and slept on and off for the entire rest of saturday
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and sunday until noon. When I woke up, I found out that I had been
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grinding the living shit out of my teeth the entire trip, and they were
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loose in my sockets for about 12 hours. I need to get a chew-toy next time.
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My conclusions? One, it's REALLY REALLY REALLY fun. Two, I can
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see how it could be addictive. Three, make sure you organize yourself
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*before* you do it, because you lose things really easily. Four, beware
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of unintentional emotional bonding!!! This drug opens you up SO much that
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you can easily form deep emotional attachments to someone you don't even
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know. It should be REAL interesting calling this girl I was dancing with
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tomorrow (she wasn't Xing and I was). I dunno if I'll be doing this very
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often (it's $20 a hit 'round here), and it racks your body up pretty hard.
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Questions: It's been ~36 hours, and I'm still feeling it. How
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long before it goes away? Also, any health advice anyone who is more
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experienced than I can give me will be much appreciated. All those
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stories about neural damage give me a bit of a pause.
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Sorry for rambling on so long, but this was one of the most
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intense experiences of my life, and I had to get it off my chest.
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-Jon
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=============================================================================
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Newsgroups: alt.drugs
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From: jamesm@cogs.susx.ac.uk (Part-Time Cosmic Baby)
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Subject: Re: entheogen-entactogen ? LSD vs MDMA
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Message-ID: <jamesm.19.000CDB15@cogs.susx.ac.uk>
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Date: Wed, 12 Jan 1994 11:51:15 GMT
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In article <Jan.11.21.30.45.1994.9600@pilot.njin.net> csc@pilot.njin.net (Sean Casey) writes:
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>An entactogen makes one feel that "everything is okay". A general
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>feeling of well-being.
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>Note that MDMA does not always have this effect. Bad trips on MDMA do
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>happen. If there's a lot of negative stuff buried inside, it can get
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>suddenly connected with your conscious thought. One person I know took
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>some MDMA and couldn't stop crying for about 2 hours.
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>Fortunately, it is pretty rare, and most people have very good
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>experiences on MDMA. Personally, I think it should be issued to
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>people (on a voluntary basis).
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Unfortunately, it seems that I am one of these rare cases, I can get the MDMA
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entactogenic effects only when I am in a very safe familiar place with people
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I like a lot already. If not, then I do feel very lonely, incomplete, and I
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usually get obsessed with finding my soul-mate. There is no way I can dance, and
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some times I have cried for quite some time. The only thing I seem to want to
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do is 'Quddle' with someone that I know will feel the same after they've come
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down, and not just because of the drug.
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I have tried to avoid to get imprinted on people (intimate love-wise) because
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I don't think that drugs are there to create love, but to facilitate its
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expression, and I wouldn't start a relationship based on a pill. I have tried
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to feed this need for primal Quddling with having a teddy to Quddle, it has
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freaked people out, and it still does, but hey if a rave is a place where you
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can do what you feel like doing then if I feel like going with my teddy is my
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business.
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It sound like regression and believe me it feels like one as well, about 2
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years old I should think. It is obvious to me that Quddling is what I've
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missed (Wilson's Biosurvival circuit, oral, safety etc.) when I was young, It
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is something I will get over by partly supplementing this safety my self and
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partly by finding people that are willing to share their affection with me.
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This the main reason I take MDMA occasionally but very carefully, because I
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believe that this is a deep need that has to be faced/addressed/resolved
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instead of being suppressed/hidden and forgotten. Many times is hard and can be
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quite painful but I'm moving on and keep on moving.
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Now the point I wanted to get to from the start is that under the
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circumstances it sound that it would be a very bad idea to try LSD, well, I
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have more times than MDMA and I have a brilliant time. All I want to do is dance
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and become one with the music, the more parts of the music (even emotions) I
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can express with my body, the better. Is like marring time (music) with space (volume)
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and when I get into it suddenly there is a peak experience that makes me feel great,
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complete, love for everyone especially for those I can sense around me (since I always
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dance with my eyes shut), and I feel Quddled by the whole universe (hence Cosmic Baby).
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My world view changes and by present time seems as a transition, I can see where I'm
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going and where I could go, and everything makes sense, there is no helplessness involved
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like in MDMA nor involuntary regression, just the aware choice of been who I am the way
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I want to be, as curious, sensitive, genuine, enthusiastic as child and as responsible as and
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adult and as caring and understanding as a parent.
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Now the problem comes with LSD because is a loners drug, people don't give a shit if you
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feel genuine love for them, as long as you can't express it (with my eyes closed is a bit
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hard). Or maybe I do through my way of dancing but none seems to understand, I come
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across as a tripping eccentric loner who loses it on E and goes around with teddy,
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socially it can be a bit problematic.
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Does anybody else gets bad times on E but brilliant times on A or is it just me.
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A part-time Cosmic Baby, and his archetypal teddy.
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GAGA
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=============================================================================
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Message-ID: <150303Z21051994@anon.penet.fi>
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Newsgroups: alt.drugs,alt.psychoactives,alt.rave
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From: an74547@anon.penet.fi (Freedom Freak)
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Date: Sat, 21 May 1994 15:02:45 UTC
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Subject: Ecstasy Experienced
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Well, I have received much encouragement to relate my experiences
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on Ecstasy, so here is an attempt...
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I was told almost a week in advance that I might have the
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opportunity to try Ecstasy with the young lady who acted as a guide
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for my first LSD trip. We were to meet at a given tube station not
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far from the nightclub where the experimentation would take place.
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I was not easy about trying a new psychedelic in a crowded place,
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realizing this could have been difficult to handle with LSD. But
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there lay the opportunity and I just hoped to have enough mental
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control (practice of Yoga helping) if things got tight.
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I had read about MDMA in Peter Stafford's Psychedelics
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Encyclopaedia, but was aware E's are not very often pure MDMA. In
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addition, the book had stayed at home and my memory of its contents
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had faded somewhat. So I scanned the net for an Ecstasy FAQ and read
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that, also reading whatever current reports of the experience were
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posted on alt.drugs.
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Quite strangely, that was also the week my father decided to give
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me a hysterical account of some absurd and manipulatively badly
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written article in a Swiss newspaper depicting the dreadful and
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possessive evils of the Love Pill. He knows I have profound interest
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in altered consciousness and its chemical gateways, but not what I'm
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up to in my spare time...
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Anyway, I psyched myself up all week for the event, and when the
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Saturday evening came, I left a little note on my desk explaining
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that if I was unlucky that night, the Quest had been worth it.
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As soon as we entered the nightclub, we went upstairs to the
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dance floor. An immense room with drapes hanging off all walls, a
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screen with a permanent slide of Planet Earth on it and countless
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balloons floating all around.
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Sitting in a corner of the stage, I was handed my 2/3 of a White
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Dove pill. I insisted on chewing it to taste it - I wanted some
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intimate contact with the substance I was about to share my mind with.
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Tasted awful. Very chemical. That made me laugh, especially looking
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at the face of my companion who had agreed to bite into it too. We
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washed the taste down with gulps from the traditional raver's water
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bottle, as our supplier explained to us a few of the basics and
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possible initial effects.
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"If you feel funny, get up and dance." she had said.
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Sure enough, about 25 minutes later, I was feeling slightly
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uncomfortable. Stomach ? Mind ? I wasn't sure. From feeling quite
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talkative I went to being rather silent and reserved. So I got up and
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began to jiggle about. That felt a whole lot better.
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I was soon joined by the other Ecstasy-newbie who commented that
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nothing was happening to her.
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"I feel weird", I said.
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"Keep dancing" our supplier repeated, she too waiting for her E
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to kick in.
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Minutes later I experienced a rush to the head - I felt for a few
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seconds that I was really going to lose it, and had a vision of myself
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huddled in a corner, crying for hours. Damn, just my luck I thought,
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a bad trip on the first one. I literally felt as if my mind was going
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to black out. No way, I thought, no way. My dad talks WOsD propaganda
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and I'm not having a bad trip. I quickly searched for my companions
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on the stage and got closer to them. I danced more energetically,
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trying to get into the music.
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Seconds later a most unbelievable surge of energy and gentle
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warmth rushed through my body. It was so brutally intense, all I
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could do for several minutes was inhale and let the breath come out
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as one long howl of indescriptible joy. Many around me joined in.
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It seemed as though half the stage was just hollering in joint
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ecstasy.
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Ecstasy. The perfect word. No other could have described what I
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was experiencing right then and there. Beyond words. The entire
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message was contained in a scream and the most intense smile my face
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had displayed in ages.
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Our supplier bounded up to us asking "are you OK ? Have you eased
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up both of you ? You were rather tense". I just grinned my face off.
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"I feel like hugging everybody" I shouted.
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"Then DO !" she yelled, flinging herself around my neck.
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Geez, that felt so GOOD ! Hugging was the most rewarding, comforting
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and uplifting experience ! This, for a person such as myself, usually
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quite conscious of personal space and physical contact with strangers,
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was a truly fascinating discovery.
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The music too was surrounding me in trance-like comfort. The
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sound spoke to every nerve in my body. This is the synergy between
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dance, mind and rythmic signatures Terrence McKenna was on about, I
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thought. Wow. I could enjoy the "Here and Now" - any time a thought
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of something unpleasant from the world would arise, I could look at
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it without stress, then gently push it out of my mind. It didn't
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matter that I had a project and exams. This state was pure, free,
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uninhibited.
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Speaking to people in the chill-out room was bliss. I wanted
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everybody to be OK, I wanted to know their names, how many times they
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came here, what they were on... They were all so friendly.
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One of them asked me "You're all loved up, right ?". I answered
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with the ecstatic grin. "It's their first E" he was told. He then got
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up, opened his arms wide, and gave me a big hug. There was something
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so pure and brotherly about the whole atmosphere, it was overwhelming.
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I noticed all the described effects : brighter lights and
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colours, increased physical energy yet great calm, strong empathy and
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forgiveness for agressive behaviour, merging with the music to a
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trance state...
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"Beware of inappropriate emotional bonding", I had read. Damn,
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that's what held me back from interacting more fully with an
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unusually pretty girl who seemed to want to dance with me. As I
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noticed she was looking into my eyes and half turning to face me, I
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felt my heartbeat pound away. Another amazing wave of warmth shot up
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through my stomach to the top of my head. I felt my entire body
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vibrating with pleasure. I was on E and I was being turned on.
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I just looked into her eyes. I was confused by the intensity of
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the attraction, and uncertain how much of this was real. I needed a
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nod from a friend to go ahead, or something like that.
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The nod never came. But I learned something really valuable there.
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Several years ago I got screwed up by a strong bondage with a girl.
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She moved away, and sure enough some predator attracted by her beauty
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seduced her. Though she chucked him away fast, that was the end for
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us. I had never been able to start another relationship with a girl
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since. I would miss any cue girls would send out to me, or even turn
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away from them, frightened. That Saturday night, Ecstasy cleared me
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from this emotional hangup. On the way down, I became introspective
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and meditative, and figured out what had been inhibiting me from
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falling in love again. This made me feel a great weight had just left
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my conscience, and I shared this feeling with friends immediately.
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I was once more free to love.
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Sounds dramatic, I know. But this realization was deep, complete
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and liberating. LSD had freed my mind from some of its shackles,
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Ecstasy was freeing my feelings.
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There would be so much more to say. But if you've read this far,
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I won't abuse your patience.
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What remains from the first experience is this emotional freedom,
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this feeling for Compassion (I now have a much better notion of what
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Buddha or Christ seemed to be preaching), and an increased ability to
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tune in to the structures and messages of music. On a more subtle
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level, I find it easier to initiate conversation with people and can
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cope better with aimless talk about this or that. I can also pick out
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almost anybody in a nightclub who is on E ! A real sharing and
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compassionate bunch - if a complete stranger happily offers you water,
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a spliff or a Vicks inhaler, I give you one guess as to what he's
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swallowed. Check the intense smile on his face, too.
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I have had only two more experiences with Ecstasy since.
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On one occasion I met a really interesting group on the dance
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floor, winding up back at their place smoking spliff and playing
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video games, with a good bed for the night ! It also confirmed the
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return of my ability to interact with girls without hangups.
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On the second occasion, I had twenty minutes of deeply mystical
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feeling ("I feel I'm talking to Jesus" I told my friend - this being
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from an agnostic). I also had a blinding moment in which I felt
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intensely how deeply important my friends are to me and how far
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beyond ordinary bonds our friendship goes.
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So for whoever is going to try Ecstasy : aside from the usual
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drink-lots-of-water-and-wear-loose-clothing advice, prepare for times
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of howling beauty and buzzing interactions. Remember you can look at
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personal problems in a warm detached manner and maybe solve emotional
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history problems. And prepare for the ultimate experiences in dancing
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and h
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------
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To find out more about the anon service, send mail to help@anon.penet.fi.
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Due to the double-blind, any mail replies to this message will be anonymized,
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and an anonymous id will be allocated automatically. You have been warned.
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Please report any problems, inappropriate use etc. to admin@anon.penet.fi.
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=============================================================================
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From: farrah@coho.halcyon.com (Terry Farrah)
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Newsgroups: alt.drugs
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Subject: My solo ecstasy experience
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Date: 24 Jun 1994 22:43:24 GMT
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Message-ID: <2ufnic$8c2@nwfocus.wa.com>
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I always enjoy other people's descriptions of their drug experiences, so
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I thought I'd add mine. I wrote the following for a friend of mine who
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never takes recreational drugs. I had taken Ecstasy twice before, at
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music festivals, and noticed that it didn't seem to be a social drug
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for me. So last Sunday I decided to take it by myself. It was a
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beautiful sunny day, and I was housesitting near a lake.
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Terry
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-------
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I've been up since 4 this morning. While an Ecstasy high lasts only 4
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or 5 hours, the amphetamine effect lasts for much longer. I went to bed
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around 10:30 and slept very lightly all night. Then I decided it would
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be good to be out in the morning. The sky was clear, and I hadn't been
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up for sunrise since winter. And I wanted to revisit some of the places
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I had been yesterday.
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This coming down part is a bit of a rough road. Before I started
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yesterday I knew I'd feel lonely coming down. And I do. I thought that
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Eddie, the cat, would be of some comfort, but he's not much. And I
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can't think of anyone who wants a visit or a phone call at this hour on
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a Monday morning. When I have the "speed" effect without the euphoria
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effect, the usual comforting activities don't work (food, sleep,
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lounging, reading).
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And, although I'm glad I went walking this morning - it actually felt
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like that was the only option for me - revisiting yesterday's places was
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not particularly happy. Toward the end of my walk, a raven got really
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annoyed with me, and screamed at me for dozens of yards. Her voice was
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especially grating.
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I think, though, that her voice was not a problem yesterday. Either
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that, or else she wasn't yelling at me. All the sounds of the
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afternoon formed a song. Birds, trees rustling, voices, and the
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ever-present bump-bump of the traffic on the I-90 bridge. It's as
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though each sound makes a lasting impression on my mind such that all
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the sounds blend. In fact, what seems to happen in general is that each
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sensory input is experienced for a longer moment than normal. So one's
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visual field seems bigger and richer. The movement of the leaves on the
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trees is like a dance. And the sounds make music.
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I was out for 5-1/2 hours yesterday. I did chores around the house
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until I could feel the Ecstasy take effect. Then I suddenly had an
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urge to breathe in deeply, and the breath filled me up. I made sure
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the cat was outside, put a little money and my ID (with your emergency
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contact info!) in my windbreaker pocket, left the house and locked the
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door.
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It's so funny that I thought I might write to you while I was tripping,
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because I became so absorbed in each moment that the last thing I wanted
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to do was walk back home and log in. I spent 5-1/2 hours within a
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1-mile x 1/4-mile strip along Lake Washington. If I could have tripped
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longer, I could have spent days in that same area.
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First I walked down to the lake. It was a sunny Sunday, and there were
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all kinds of people out. I felt so incredibly vulnerable, though. I
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knew that if I made eye contact with anyone, it would be for a longer
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moment than normal, and it would draw people toward me. I've
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experienced it before. So I averted my eyes from everyone. Finally I
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realized that I didn't want to be around people at all. So I turned and
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walked up through Colman Park.
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Colman Park is just one block south of the house where I'm staying.
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It's mostly just a green space. But yesterday afternoon it was an
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infinite paradise. A road (Lake Washington Blvd.) winds through the
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park, but there is a footpath that cuts straight up the hill and tunnels
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under the Blvd. so that you don't have to walk on the road at all. Once
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I entered the first tunnel I felt this huge sense of relief. I was out
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of the sun, and I was away from all those people. All afternoon I
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continued to enjoy various senses of relief which often seemed all out
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of proportion to whatever discomfort I had been feeling. I mean, I
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wasn't enjoying being around all those people, but it wasn't awful. But
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somehow it felt absolutely exhilarating to be away from them.
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My shoes were off. And my feet were already filthier than I ever let
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them get in normal life. When I'm on Ecstasy I feel like walking
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through everything - sand, puddles, mud, gravel - and I don't notice
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what it does to my feet. I just don't care. In fact, I have to be
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extra careful not to step on glass, because I might not notice if I were
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cut badly. I'd probably just enjoy the sensation of the warm blood
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oozing out.
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After walking very slowly up this path, maybe 50 yards, I reached a very
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green spot. And there the peak of the high hit me. I stood in one spot
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for the longest time, staring up at the trees, swaying back and forth,
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turning my head in different directions, and listening to the song. I
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even had some mild hallucinogenic visual effects, where the swaying
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trees formed geometric patterns. And if I closed my eyes, I actually
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saw those psychadelic-type black and white checkerboard patterns moving
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all around. I didn't like that. I wanted to be in the real world. So
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I kept my eyes open.
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There was another woman sitting in the grass about 50 feet away, but I
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felt safe with her. She was minding her own business, and I felt sure
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she'd let me mind mine. In fact, I think I enjoyed her presence.
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I hugged some trees. They were delicious. I enjoyed the roughness of
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the bark.
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Then I walked up some more. There is a P-patch further up the hill.
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There were people working in it. I walked very slowly through the
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patch. I enjoyed the earthy smell and the idea that people were helping
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things to grow there. The song was still playing. I was very high,
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even kind of lightheaded. I began to worry that I was getting
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dehydrated. It's easy to do that on Ecstasy, and some people have
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gotten very ill that way. And I hate to drink anyway, and never feel
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thirst. But I noticed that my mouth was dry, and that the sun felt hot.
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Well, there were all these faucets and garden hoses all around, so I
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felt secure. I just needed to find a way to drink from one of them. I
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didn't want to ask anyone to drink out of their hose. Finally I found a
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faucet without a hose on it, and I turned it on and drank. The water
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was hot. And after a few swallows I began to feel nauseous. But I felt
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that, having taking in a few sips, I could stop worrying about
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dehydrating for a while. Still, for the three or so hours that I was
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really high, I kept worrying about water. I should have brought a
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bottle with me. Everywhere I went, I kept looking for water to make
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sure I'd be OK.
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But I loved the P-patch. I spent a long time there. Music.
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Then I walked back down toward the water. I wasn't so very high, and I
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felt that I could stand being around people again. I walked and began
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to think about the people in my life. I had little imaginary chats with
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some of them, especially Elaine, Veronica, Claire, and my Dad. You
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know, I got my Dad a Father's Day card that said this: "Dad, you're one
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of a kind!" Then inside, "So if I turned out a little unusual, it's
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partly your fault!" Actually, it didn't say "fault", it said something
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gentler than that, but I can't remember what it was. When I saw it I
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decided to buy it immediately. But as I was standing in the checkout
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line I had second thoughts. I thought it just might make my Dad feel
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bad. But I bought it and sent it anyway. So yesterday I had this
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imaginary conversation with my Dad, and I said, "Dad, I didn't buy that
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card, you bought it! Why did you buy me such a crappy Father's Day
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card?"
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Most of my thoughts about other people centered on the idea that I'm
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always taking responsibility for their feelings. I kept trying to turn
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that idea around. I said to Claire, "Claire, what do you want from me?
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What are you trying to do to me?" Because mostly when I see people
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getting attracted to me, I think about how I'm doing them a disservice,
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and that's how I've been thinking about Claire.
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But I didn't really get anywhere with this line of thought. I mean, I
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entertained myself by talking to all these people and giving them
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responsibility for things, but I wanted some insight, and I didn't get
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any. And then, this morning, I found my mind stuck in that rut, the rut
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of trying to figure out who's responsible in all my relationships. By
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this morning it wasn't entertaining anymore, it was boring and
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frustrating.
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But yesterday it was at least entertaining. I thought of all the
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important people in my life and felt overwhelmed with them. I tried to
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imagine all of them (you included, Sandy) walking with me, or standing
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in a circle around me, and I couldn't do it. I could take them on only
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one at a time. I never had a long chat with you.
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I thought about my future housemate, Heidi. I realized that I hadn't
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yet told you that I'm moving in with her. I felt that she and I were
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somehow destined to share the next part of our lives. And I felt how
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very scared I was at the prospect of moving in with someone new. I had
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a little chat with Heidi about it. What an intimate thing, to live
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with someone. I thought about how intimate it has been to live with
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Ron and Pat for 4-1/2 years. I've seen so much of their lives and of
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their marriage. I wonder sometimes if they'd like to hear what I've
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observed. I could maybe tell Ron.
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Around twilight I found myself in the P-patch for the third time. I
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decided it was time to head home. I could feel that I was well on my way
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down. But I was still too high to concentrate on my bearings. I walked
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south from Colman Park, instead of north. This morning it seems so
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ridiculous, because this house is just one block north of the P-patch.
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But I walked probably 1/2 mile south. Not just once, but three times.
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I walked in a big circle three times! Can you imagine? By the third
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time I was afraid that people would notice what I was doing and start
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to worry about my sanity. I was down enough that I was starting to feel
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cold and tired. Finally I figured out how to get home.
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I didn't think that I wanted to listen to my voice mail messages, but
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when I did, I found that I really enjoyed hearing people's voices. I
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tried calling a couple people back, but no answer. I got a bottle of
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Gatorade from the fridge, went to the upstairs bedroom, opened the
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window, pulled up the rocking chair, and rocked and sipped for a long
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time. It was hard to drink, but I felt sure that I needed to replenish
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my electrolytes. When I'm on Ecstasy I never feel like consuming
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anything, food or drink. It was by now 9:30. I took a warm shower,
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called the cat back in, worried that he wasn't answering, decided to
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sleep with the back door open so he could get in and out, and climbed
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into bed. Eddie came and snuggled with me after a while.
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