textfiles/bbs/diaryhack.txt

        
                             Diary of a Hacker
                                  Part 1

        
        What I am about to write about happened in October of 1988, 
        right after I had turned 16. 
       
        Yes, I had a Computer.
        Yes, I was a hacker.
        Yes, this is my story.

        This story is all true.  The events in the story are as real
        as the noses on your faces.  Any attempt to change this story
        would be boring, and unnescessary.

        Hello.  My Handle is The Cuisinart Blade, (I have since changed it)
        most people called me C.B., just as another nickname.  I
        got into computers because I always had a knack for Games, 
        Programs, Etc...  I loved the feel of the keyboard as I typed,
        espically around Midnight, when School was only 7 hours away.
        That Dickhead in your 1st hour waiting to pick on you at the
        stroke of the clock.  What little that he knew.
        I Loved the feeling of flying through the 'Net, talking to the 
        other Hackers like me, always trying to impress one another.
        They came in all fashions of Handles: The Ax Murderer, Psycho,
        The Hacker Kid, Phobia, Etc...the list is nearly endless.  And
        each with an utterly unique personality, so far advanced from
        the Morons we all remember at high school.  I loved talking to
        these "Wanderers of the Wunderland" so much, I would call all
        over the united states just to do that.
        I remember back in 1988, 9600 was almost as uncommon as the
        newest modems of today.  I loved to suck down that Jolt, turn
        on the overhead light in the basement, and hack until morning.
        Then goto school to have that enormus football jock try to
        scare me into submission. I will admit that, yes, he did
        scare me.  But what a fool he was, thinking that pure brawn
        was power.  Knowledge IS power.  I never did good in High 
        School.  Knowledge is not there, it was in the 'Net!  THAT
        was where I was a King.  That was where I was a God.  ANYONE
        who has truely roamed the 'Net or been in that type of world
        could tell you that, (Right, King Blotto?) hands down.
        I loved running home, or taking the bus, right into my
        basement!  Homework?  Bah!  What a waste of time it was,
        compared to the thrill of Hacking?  Homework was little more
        than review.  I sat down and got onto my Computer and began to
        type. I called a rather large BBS in which, Hackers frequented.
        Nowadays they are considered "Wandering" Boards.  They appear to
        wander because they change phone numbers all the time.
        Anyway, I called up my favorite Pirate BBS and went onto Multi-
        nodal chat to talk to the others about their exploits.  Some of 
        them had told me of their abilities to smash entire phone
        networks, others had told me of their A-Typical grade changes,
        (Yawn)  But most of all I loved to brag.  The unwritten rule
        in being a hacker, you're nothing unless you have something to
        brag about.  At the time, I didn't, so I decided to get a name
        in the computer Hacking Club and do just that: Hack.
        At first I wondered where I should go, what I should do.
        I had no idea where to begin.  I had been all over the world
        in the 'Net, and nothing to show for it, other than just knowing
        of everyone, or everything.  I needed more.  That is the answer
        to everything in the mind of a Hacker, the NEED to know.
        I decided to try something small.
        That night, my friend, (who I will call Dr.Antristo) and I,
        called up another Pirate BBS and Downloaded the number of a 
        rather prominent business, (at the time) and decided to call.
        Our biggest fear was being traced, so we got togther and built
        what is nowadays almost routine, (from what I hear) a BOX.
        I made the call and found myself looking into a Menu System, 
        that asked for a NAME, and Security ID.  I had no idea about
        any security ID, or anyone who worked there, so I decided to
        Hang up and try in a day or 2, AFTER I did some "Checking Up"
        on their Company.
        Wedensday came and went, I checked into the Directory, and 
        looked for a name, someone in the Company.  Personal Passwords
        were not being used at this company, (and they STILL arn't)
        so figuring that out was not important, but finding out the
        MAIN USER SYSTEM PASSWORD was.  No prob.  After finding out
        about a fellow who worked their, (Name Withheld), I called
        again.  This time the Menu popped up again, and I typed his name
        again it asked me for a System Password.  I knew the Voice
        Number to the Company, so I dialed it on my regular phone line
        and got some reception lady, you know the type, not too 
        bright, and just a tad naieve.  I told her I was in the
        Data Processing Department and was new, and had forgotten
        the System Password.  It took her all of about 10 seconds  
        to tell it to me.  She didn't even bother for proof.  So
        with that in my head I went ahead and typed it: X77-SYS1a.
        I was in.
        My Buddy watched, as I began to move through the menus, I got
        to check out the General Bulletin Listing, several up-and-
        coming projects, (heh heh 486?)  and even got to see who was
        late to work this morning.  I wanted to get some specs on the
        new things they had instore for the Commercial Market, but 
        I was unsure where to Download them to.  I was fearful of doing
        that to my own house, so I figured I would find another place.
        After rummaging throught the place for about 15 minutes, I 
        left.  Personally, I was estatic.  I had done it.  I had
        gone into a rather large business and gotten to look through 
        their system.  But I needed proof, or so I thought.  I wanted
        to show the Hackers of America, I was as good as them.  I 
        wanted what we all wanted.  To be noticed and respected by 
        the people who I would call my peers.
        Now I will admit that there were MANY who were far better than
        me.  There were guys who didn't pay a penny for any phone
        calls that they made.  Ma Bell was sure pissed!  There were
        others who were what I and others referred to as Professional
        Pirates.  These were the guys who not only wrote their own
        software, but Cracked anything they came across, knew were
        to get anything, and Just seemed to be great at anything they
        wanted to be.  These were the guys everyone tried to be like,
        they were the Football stars, Homecoming Kings, and all-american
        heroes of the 'Net.
        To us they were as close to god as the pope.
        Turns out that they were no older than most, but they were
        smarter, or had a head start.  These guys were, and many of them
        still are, unstoppable.
        I got talking to another Pirate later that evening, after I had 
        gone into the Company Mainframe, and told him of what I had
        done.  I thought at first he'd laugh at me, but instead, he
        practically begged me for that Password. He said everyone in
        this system at that moment would give me any Wares, (Warez for
        you newer Hackers & Pirates) I wanted.  Within 2 minutes of
        telling this guy, (Handle: Omega Man) the Multi-Node Chat
        was filled with over 20 different Hackers, Pirates, and 
        onlookers asking for the Password, offering me Wares, and
        other Numbers in exchange.  One guy, I will call Harlock, 
        offered me something none of the others could.  The ability
        to USE At&t all I wanted for free.  He said he would teach me
        how to use their LOOP Numbers and not get caught, also teach me
        to call other places, drop to their dos shells, and make hidden
        directories where I could put my "borrowed" Wares.  All for a
        Password.
        I accepted.
        Without hesitation, he gave me a number to his "Wandering" BBS.
        I disconnected with this one, and logged onto his.  It was a
        long distance call in the 216 area code.  I didn't want to stay
        too long, otherwise my parents would get REAL mad.
        I arrived at the Logon screen to be greeted with an enormus
        ANSI of a Kings Crown.  Followed by a System Password.
        The SysOp of the Board typed it in for me, and took me directly
        into Chat.  He told me that AT&T has what are called LOOP 
        numbers, numbers that are out of circulation, but can still
        be used.  Billing is not used, because the company writes it
        off as an expense on their annual tax bracket as for Public
        Relations, or Advertising.  They don't check up on them, 
        because with over 500 Million Nodes, and lines in this country
        they don't bother with the "Lost" ones.  (Currently there are
        around 75,000 LOOP Numbers in the 312/708 Area)
        He told me that in order to use one, you must find one, by
        what he called Garbage Screening.  He told me that around 
        where he lived they just chucked all the paper in the garbage
        bin and left it for the trash men on friday.  (he thanked god
        that Recycling hadn't REALLY started yet)  He advised me to do
        the same.  Once I had the numbers, keep a blacklist of them,
        (of which only 1/4th still work to this day.)
        Then he explained how to do it.  He said I was to dial the 
        number, wait for 2 "Chimes" then hit the Shift and Ctrl buttons.
        With Modem, (I still don't know how, but it worked so I am 
        telling you) it would give me a Dial Tone, and Wala!  I could
        then proceed to call anywhere in the world, under AT&T's Tab.
        Then he asked me for the Password which I happily gave him, (I
        may be a white-collar crook, but I am an Honorable one.)
        After writing it down, (I guess) he told me I was welcome to
        look around his system.  I thanked him for the Info, then 
        Logged offline.  I was Info Hungery!
        I had written the Directions for the LOOP numbers down and
        wanted to see what I could do.  I told Dr.Antristo to power
        up the MouseMobile (His Jalopy) 'cause we were gonna go
        shopping this evening.  'Round midnight, Dr.Antristo and I
        got to Oakbrook, a rather large Communications Hub for the
        Greater Chicagoland Area.  AT&T had just thrown its garbage 
        away and there was no one around.  I walked over to the bin,
        with Doc' in the Getaway Mouse, and looked for any kind of
        security measure.  It had a padlock, that was no where to be
        found.  I pushed the door open and took a look.  Bags of
        paper and more bags.  From what Harloack had told me, I 
        had hit the jackpot.  I climbed in, (You must understand, that
        this was the cleanest garbage I had ever seen) and began to 
        look for anything that had to do with numbers.  I also grabbed
        a pair of hefty bags full of paper with what looked like numbers
        then got to the car and we returned home.
        I dumped all the stuff onto the floor and began to rummage 
        through it.  I found a lot of office memos to call some
        Steve guy, and letters of recommendation, as well as a few
        Resumes'.  Then Luck.  A list of numbers that were said to 
        be disconnected or transferred to station (52?) for standard
        procedure.  Another list detailing numbers offline or as it 
        put it, "Out Of Circulation".  At last, O.O.C.'s!
        I wanted to know, I had to know.  I put one of them into my
        Telix Directory and ran it through.  After a few seconds of 
        prayer, I heard a high pitched noise, almost like a Modem, 
        but it was off a few bars.  Then I heard what I can only
        describe as a "Chime", then another...I hit the Shift and Ctrl
        Keys, and what almost sounded like Line shifting, I got a dial
        tone!
        Success!
        Dr.Antristo and I ran about the room hollering and yelling our
        thanks to the great Jolt god and we sat down at the computer and
        typed in the name of a Long Distance BBS, we could never call.
        Again, Success.  It didn't connect because it was busy, but
        it went back to Dial Tone again, and we tried another.
        The BBS was called Crystal Palace, and it was somewhere in 
        Canada.  We logged into it, ran through the usual newuser crap
        and spent an hour talking to the SysOp, who was watching us at
        the time.  We decided not to try again, until the phone bill
        came for the month.
        1 Week later it arrived.  I tore it apart to find all long
        distance calls done.  Only one to my Aunt Kathy in Michigian!
        The rest were Local!  I was so happy I didn't care if my father
        was yelling at me about opening his mail.  I called Dr.Antristo
        and told him the great news.  With this, we could do some real
        neat things, like call all those other Hacker Boards we could
        never reach.
        We decieded to call the most intresting on your list, one
        called ToC: The Obsidian Crackhouse.  It was in Germany, 
        a place where there seemed to be a ton of Elite Pirates.
        We dialed into the LOOP Number and then made the overseas call
        Connect 9600Bps!
        We tied into the BBS to find that we couldn't access, it was
        a Private BBS.  So we settled for something in our country,
        a place in the 404 Area Code.  A BBS called The Nutcracker
        Elite.  We got in and "Registered" No, we wern't Cops, No,
        Not Federal Agents, Etc.. then we looked around to see what
        this guy had.  Files I had never seen before, stuff from
        England, California, Germany, Holland, Ireland, Etc... Lists
        so long I couldn't believe what I was looking at.  I wanted
        to Download everything I saw, but I was still afraid of what
        might happen, trying to do that.  So I figured I would give
        ol' Harlock a Call.
        I finally got ahold of him on a Friday night, around 1 in the
        morning, and asked him what to do.  He told me what he did.
        He would use the LOOP Number, then call another Company, drop
        into their DOS, create a hidden Dir, then call out again, under
        THAT Companies Number.  It boggled my mind, so I had him
        explain it again.  The LOOP Number worked for you in several
        ways.  If you use a LOOP Number to call out, if you call from
        another HUB, it would look like you were calling from that area.
        So anyone Tracing would track it to that location, and if they 
        were good, they would only get as far as the LOOP Number 
        origin, in which case you use another number.  He warned me
        that the BOX was the only thing keeping AT&T from running a 
        trace from their "Hidden" Line to my house.  So I continued to
        use it.
        That night I called some bank in the 804 Area Code.  Found their
        General Logon Password, (from a Hacker in Vermont, thanks HAL!)
        and proceeded to drop to DOS.  I looked at their inferior setup, 
        all memory and nothing to show for it.  I created a Hidden DIR,
        then exited and called out from that location using one of their
        company lines to another BBS in the 213 Area Code, a BBS named
        Psychotic Interlude.  I got online and D/L'ed as much as I 
        could. (A whopping 3 Files)
        After Disconnection, I did another D/L to my house through the
        LOOP Number.  It worked.  The entire evening I was online at
        one place or another.  I had gotten about 15 Meg worth of Wares
        from around the country.  This Bank had so much memory it never
        would have missed it. (BTW, I never Deleted any of it so if you
        want it, you gotta go get it. ;) )
        I was really beginning to enjoy this.  The following evening, 
        I went online at my usual Hacker hangout and chatted with a
        few guys, the topic of the day was someone in Georgia was saying
        that he could take down the entire Phone Grid in that state.  
        And after doing what I did, I belived him.

        October 24th, 1988

        I went to Dr.Antristos house to pick up the software of what
        we hoped to be our new BBS.  I wanted to be a SysOp.  Too
        bad that he didn't have it.
        After discussing what we could do with our abilities, we
        wanted to see if we could get into a Large Corperation.
        Watch out world, we were arriving!
        That night, after slurping down a 24 pack of Jolt, we
        listened to some Black Sabbath, and Led Zepplin, (my favorite
        song by them is Cashmir on Physical Grafitti Album) we
        entered the world of the Hacker.
        We went to our usual LOOP Number and then dialed into a
        Corperation in Chicago.  (The name of which is withheld, 
        but I'll give you a clue, its a Computer Company Named IBM)
        Well, we got to their commercial menu, where they tell you
        all about their products, (Yawn) and how they're the best.
        If they were smart they wouldn't have agreed to giving 
        royalties to the creator of their Logon Program for all
        IBM Compatibles, and Regulars.  (Incidently, the guy who
        wrote that is now worth 8+ Bil)
        Anyways, we managed to snoop into General Information, but
        Dr.Antristo and I wanted more.  We wanted much more.
        So I decided to try that Newbie Crap with the Reception
        lady again.  I figured that if it worked once, it would work
        again.
        The lady, who turned out to be a male night security guard, 
        scolded me for calling so late, and muttered something about
        yuppies and their late hour workings.  He looked around on the
        desk of wherever he was and gave me a Password to enter the
        IBM Mainframe, (I still laugh at this chucklehead they had hired)
        and in less than 20 Seconds I was looking at Commands for the
        Office.  Turns out he gave me a Password that is not for General
        use.  I got an Office PW.
        I was looking at a menu that asked me if I wanted to shut off the
        lights!  I gave out a manical laugh!  I was god, I was immortal,
        I was....Hacking.  I decieded not to turn off the lights, but
        I wanted to look at future projects slated for the next year.
        After browsing around, I got bored and looked into the security
        matrix, and found a universal password and name collection.  I
        was feeling a bit evil that evening so, I switched, added, removed,
        and changed some passwords...heh heh.  Cruel to the people who
        think they're tough shit!
        I left IBM with a big grin, and a lot of experience.  Dr.Antristo
        told me that we ought to go after other things.  I wanted
        to know so much about everything, so I had it in my head I
        was going to do just that.

        Only thing was, how to do it!



        Look for Hacker2.zip for the continuation!

        Another fine Text of the -=M*A*S*Q*U*E*R*A*D*E=-






















                             
                              Diary of a Hacker 
                                  Part: II


        My Handle is The Cuisinart Blade.
        I am a Hacker.

        This is part 2 in a three part series about my adventures as
        a Hacker.  The events in these Text files are very real.  They
        are written as they occured.  All people in this have had their
        Handles changed, (unless otherwise specified).

        -To continue where I left off...

        I sent Dr.Antristo home after our "encounter" with IBM. I loved
        the fact I had entered one of the biggest Corps in the World!
        It was about 3:34 in the morning, I logged onto the Lunacy in
        the Abyss BBS, and went into the chat with my peers. After talking
        to them at length about my "Discoveries", I found them all asking
        me for the Passwords, and how I managed to get that far.  I told
        them that only an EXPERIENCED Hacker could do such things...I will
        admit, I was up on myself.  (shame)  These others, all 13 of them,
        were in Awe.  For once I was in the lead, I was able to scoff at
        some of the higher ups who had told me I would never achieve what
        they had.  I may not have been as good as they were, but I was
        up with them in the big leagues!
        Potempkin, Renw<6E>ar, <20>bermahn, The Drifter, Sewer Rat, and Thycho,
        a few names of those who were online at the time.  They were all
        very intrested in accquiring info+ on what I had gotten into.  I
        wanted to tell them, but I thought it best not to.  Not yet.....
        After chatting for half the evening, I finally went to sleep,
        wondering what my next move should be.  

        October 30th, 1988

        Dr.Antristo and I went Bin shopping again.  We dug up a record
        of Ex-employees scheduled to have their Passwords cleared from the
        system.  Someone loved us, to give us this trash.  We returned home
        to find Passwords, Doodling, more Loop Numbers, and an old records
        collection of New In-Service Numbers.  We wanted to know how AT&T
        worked, so we were going to check it out.  I first needed to talk to
        my friend/contact in Ohio.  I dialed up his number in the 216 Area
        and waited to chat with him.  He wasn't online.  Bummer.  I checked
        a few of the other BBS's in the general area looking for people who
        could tell me how one was able to crack into AT&T.  No one seemed to
        know.
        On the following evening we finally got our big break.  Another 
        Hacker, told us in exchange for Loop Numbers he would give us a 
        Password in the AT&T System.  We agreed.  He gave us the Password
        to a smaller area of AT&T and told us that it was pretty unguarded
        so we should have no problem finding what we wanted to look at.  I
        was and very much still am an Astronomy Buff.  I wanted to find out
        how many AT&T Satellites were up there.  So Dr.Antristo & I were
        going to find out the following night.

        Happy Holloween.....<Evil Grin>

        On November 1st, 1988 we Called AT&T.  We were buzzed off of the
        24pack of Jolt we had imbibed.  After connection to the Loop number
        we dialed into the Corperate office of AT&T and were actually given
        a command prompt, (after a COLORFUL Ascii Screen...Yeah...Right.)
        The AT&T Logo was proudly displayed onto our moniter, but we thought,
        with their appearant lack of security, that Pride was False.
        We typed in the Password and it told us that it required a name for
        "Security" reasons.  We dug up a name and fed it into the Computer.
        After verification of that employee, (NEVER put your full name on
        stationairy!) it gave us access into the System.  I thumbed through
        some small records and such.  Nothing much to get in the way of 
        records, or options.  I decided to look into the system a bit
        further.  After nosing through some Menus, I found a "Doorway" to
        the larger system.  The way AT&T was, it was a bunch of smaller 
        computers all hooked into one another by a bigger system.  I was
        merely in one of the smaller appendages.  I wanted the big guy!
        I opened the door and was system transferred to a larger net, where
        it showed scheduled Payrolls, Pink Slip notices, Active Staff Members
        , and a monstrofic listing of people who were behind on their 
        payments.  Jackpot!  Or so I thought.  No where could I find anything
        on AT&T Satellites, or the such.  I couldn't fix any of the payrolls
        or even reprieve people from getting the ever-more-noticable Pink 
        Slip.  (I still think American Companies are penny pinchers for 
        looking elsewhere for their SLAVE LABOUR)
        I sat there looking through the People lists, looking for a higher
        up so I could "Borrow" his name...heh heh.
        I couldn't locate the main file area for any of the larger ups', 
        so I logged off for the evening. I would find out later.  The Doc
        had an idea that would require skilful planning and cunning. I
        counted myself in.  So there we were at 3:35 the next day, standing
        on a corner, on a pay phone, talking to the operater.  We told the
        nice lady we were late for an appointment with Director of Operations
        and that we needed to reschedule our time, and after several minutes
        of chatting with the nice lady, I told her I was putting his name
        down in my appointment book, and I needed it spelled correctly, so
        She and I went through the spelling of the Director of Ops.  :) 
        I laughed as we wrote it down, little would this girl know what
        were up to!
        After chatting for a few minutes, I disconnected and Dr.Antristo
        and I went home.  We began to talk about how we were going to get
        in, as well as what we would do when we had access.  He didn't know
        and neither did I.  I guessed we'd have'ta figure it out when we
        got there.  School homework was completed on time, (I STILL think
        that its a waste) and we both had dinner with our respective in-
        mates.  (What would you call a family that no longer cared?)
        Evening rolled around, we were both a bit tired, so we were going
        to make this quick...We dialed into the Loop Number and then into 
        the little number our Hacker buddy gave us.  After we were in, I
        opened the Doorway and entered the main area.  After scanning the
        place for new info, I used the fellows name and opened myself to
        a world of new possibilites.  I found myself able to rearrange small
        lists of people, reverse pink slips, etc...  I was in!
        I checked out some of those pink slips and read up.  I was horrified
        to find that some of these people were being canned because they 
        were in their 40's?!?  I looked for who was responsible for signing
        these Slips, and to my utter amazement it was the guy who I was
        impersonating!  Well, I, being the better part of this guys 
        conscience, decided to fix what I broke!  I reversed several of the
        pink slips and gave one to this bastard!  (Someone out there owes me
        there job! :) )
        After dawdling with the Pink Slips, I went to check out other
        areas of the company.  I managed to worm my way into the Special
        sections, like who could order what.  Private lines for other
        companies, Tracing Codes, and Satellites.  I couldn't access the
        Satellites, but I managed to print Screen the Private Phone Lines
        of other companies, (and I STILL have them) and I found a real cute
        doorway...it was to emergency areas.  Example, A master program for
        the termination of the Chicagoland area.  I liked that.  I could
        axe Communtication on 3.2 million people in a mircosecond.  hahaha!
        I didn't, of course.  I went ahead and logged out.  I felt very 
        good about the things I had done.  If there is a God, he must have
        been thinking about that moment.  I know that most people out there
        who are Hackers or want to Hack, I know it is hard to believe, but
        should you ever be in the position I am, you'd understand why I 
        did what I did.  I never asked for forgiveness, as a matter of fact,
        I don't want it.  I was aware of what I was doing, and I enjoyed it.
        Anyways...Dr.Antristo had told me that the Department of Defence was
        offering contracts to Fermi Labs, and to Argonne on the Star Wars
        Space Project, and that we should look into it.  I liked that idea,
        but the government?  Geez...
        I thought about it for all of a month.  In that time I hacked a 
        large number of places, Mircosoft, IBM (again), Sears, Texaco,
        Illinois Bell, Wisconsin Bell, Prudental, My High School, (Everyone
        has done it, admit it), Martin Marrettia, and Jet Propultion Lab-
        rotories, (if you don't know what the last 2 are, STOP READING!)
        I had enough stuff that if I sold half of it, I could retire at the
        ripe age of 16!  But even thought our government holds out on us,
        and lies, steals, and keeps secrets, I still love it.  This is the
        land of the free.....NOT!!!

        December 3rd, 1988

        I was at home watching some christmas shopping commercials and 
        drinking a Jolt, when I recieved a phone call from my buddy
        Dr.Antristo.  He told me that Argonne had gotten the project and 
        that someone I knew was the project manager.  The Password was
        Anti-RX...?!?  I sighed and said what the hell, why not.  Lets
        see what our wonderful government is up to now.
        After a little bit of looking into it, I found out that yes indeed
        someone I knew was into the project.  I also found out that as of
        1988-89 Star Wars was not...35% complete, but a whopping 87%.  The
        only thing left to "Shunt" into orbit was a weapon called the 
        Wiggler beam.  A laser which concentrated high speed X-rays into 
        a focused stream, resulting in a laser so powerful it would 
        litterly slice incoming missiles in half.  I didn't care what the
        thing could do, this was good information.  I liked it, so I got
        onto Argonne National Labrotories Crey computer using a stolen
        password and copied the plans to an undisclosed location for later
        retrival.
        Dr.Antristo told me to goto the Department of Energy, you know, the
        bigwigs with no dicks, who push everyone whom they consider beneith
        them around to make their things for them.  (Wussies)  I went from
        the Crey to the main computer terminal of the D.O.E. and looked 
        around for a bit.  I found something I know all you will just love, 
        a small article of information indicating after shipping out 265
        "Pink Slips" that Article 130a, said that they (all the brass at the
        D.O.E. were going to give themselves some raises) oh my, how cute.
        Well, after looking around in the D.O.E. area, I quickly shut off
        the computer and terminated the connection when I heard my all-
        powerful Father come down the stairs to talk to me.  Whew!