textfiles/bbs/KEELYNET/HUMOR/revenge.asc
2021-04-15 13:31:59 -05:00

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from KeelyNet 04/02/93
courtesy of David Grant
RULES OF REVENGE
(1) Never use the H-Bomb first
The Bomb can be anything from signing the creep up for a million
mail order catalogues and magazine subscriptions to kidnapping
children.
(2) Take your time about getting even
What's the rush? The creep will be busy shafting others, will be
kept busy ravaging the rest of the human race 'til you get to
him/her. Letting some time lapse gives the target an
opportunity to think he/she got away with it. In vengeance
circles we call this lulling the yotz into a false sense of
security. Also, it makes it less likely that you'll be tagged
with the blame for whatever horror finally befalls the deserving
degenerate.
(3) If you want revenge against a monolithic business structure,
don't bother with the schleppers on the bottom who are thrown
into the fray as cannon-fodder just to delay you and turn you
aside from the real culprits.
Don't expend your creative energies on low-level management or
toadies. On thing, it's useless to torment innocents whose only
crime is working for the _real_ slimeball, and two, it will look
better if you do go down in flames for your actions. Save your
energies for number four...
(4) Try to have some fun with your revenge. By making it seem antic,
it will weigh in your favor when the authorities come for you.
Go figure. It goes with number three in the fact that it could
save your ass. Hey, what the hell, it's your revenge. It's
generally time consuming, so have fun.
(5) Make sure they know you're capable of ANYTHING. Make them
understand this is war. The saying goes, "attitude is
everything". Few people fear the sane.
(6) Your target will invariably provide you with the means to get
even. Everyone makes mistakes. Keep an ear to the ground and
your nose in the wind.
(7) It's not enough merely to get even.
Do it the "Chicago way". He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He
sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one o'his to the
morgue. It lets the target know who he/she's dealing with.
However...
(8) An eye for an eye is the best yardstick for revenge.
If someone steals your watch, you don't shoot him in the head.
That's not even up. But an eye for an eye is okay if you add an
eyelid for interest.
(9) There are some people one should never screw with.
There's ALWAYS someone better than you.