233 lines
13 KiB
Plaintext
233 lines
13 KiB
Plaintext
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How to make alcohol...
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| The Guys Six Feet Under Present |
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| Part I of the Getting Homemade Highs File |
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| ------------- |
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| A l c o h o l |
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|__________________________________________________________|
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First you must obtain (steal) a holding tank. I recommend those 6 gallon
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Alhambra water jugs which are often left on porches and in driveways for
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refills. Just take it off the porch at 3:00 AM and run it home. Now, put it
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where you are going to put your still. They need to be kept together. Hide
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your still even if you don't have parents that will shit when they see it.
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This is illegal by federal law, and you could get busted pretty well. Make
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your still so it is collapsible and you can fit it all into a small box. Hide
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the box in your room. When you are going to use the still, take it out and
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hide it behind some bushes where a passing state trooper, snoopy neighbor, or
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phed busting you for pirated games won't see it. Keep the Alhambra jug where
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the still is going to be, cause they are way too big to hide anywhere.
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Also, keep your still somewhere with a good breeze or away from people
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who will smell it. When you are fermenting the shit, it will smell like puke
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or even worse. When you are distilling it, your heater might put off smoke.
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The alcohol will smell like alcohol, and heated mash smells worse than shit.
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Now go buy a shitload of fresh or frozen whatever (check the list
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below). Frozen corn will be easiest to deal with because it is already cut
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off the cob and is very forgiving with beginners. Besides, it's all part of a
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great American tradition: Moonshine!
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+--------------------------+------------------------+
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| Ingredient | Product |
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|--------------------------|------------------------|
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| Rye or Potatoes | Vodka |
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| Molasses or Sugar Cane | Rum |
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| Corn | Moonshine |
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| Wheat or Rye | Whiskey |
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| Barley or Rice | Beer |
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| Grapes | Wine |
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| Apple Juice | Hard Cider |
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| Sake | Rice |
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+--------------------------+------------------------+
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Put about 10 bags of corn in each jug and no more, because the carbon
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dioxide being released sometime pushes it up and out and you could get the
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shit all over the ground. What a waste. Besides, it will start to rot in the
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ground and smell even worse.
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Anyway, add just enough lukewarm water to cover the surface and leave
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the stuff exposed to air for about 2 weeks at room temperature. After a few
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days it will bubble and look and smell like puke, but that's no problem. It
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should do that. Just be sure you've got adequate ventilation.
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Installing a small fan in your Alhambra jug is no problem. Drilling
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holes in the sides of plastic with a sharp drill bit is easy. Drill two holes
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near the top, where there won't be any corn (fans do tend to heat up and short
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circuit when exposed to water) and insert two tubes. Make the fan blowing air
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into your jug, and not out. The mist from the mash will wear it down after a
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while.
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Now, for the still. This is complicated, so bear with us. First, take a
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big beaker or something like it and put a big tube going out the top. You
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should glue around this tube, so none of the gas will escape. Now, run a
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smaller tube into the side of the bigger tube, and connect a valve to it.
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Now,
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connect the other side of the valve to your huge thing of fermented whatever,
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but make sure the tube connects at the bottom and goes straight across so the
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pressure of the water will push it along the pipe (pumps get too messy). I
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mount my Alhambra jug on bricks, so now the whole thing looks like this:
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Fermented | __ __ | |
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Shit |_____|______| |
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___________/----|_|-----, |
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| | Valve |--|
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|------| / \
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|Bricks| / \
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|------| /Beaker\
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|______| (________)
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Now, bend the big pipe around, so it is pointing down at a 45 degree
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angle. Connect a bigger pipe to it. This will be the condenser. Connect a
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small pipe leading out of the condenser to a big cup or something that you
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will catch your 200 proof alcohol in. Also, make a rack to put the beaker on,
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so you can put a can of sterno or a bunsen burner under it. I would recommend
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putting a thermometer inside the beaker, so you can leave the temperature just
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above the boiling point of alcohol. If you don't, you won't get very strong
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alcohol.
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________
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| / ____ \
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Fermented | __ __ / / \ \/\
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Shit |_____|______| | \ \
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___________/----|_|-----, | /cond-\
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| | Valve |--| \ enser>
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|------| / \ \ /
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|Bricks| / \ \ /
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|------| /Beaker\ \ \_____________
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| | (________) \-------------,|
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|------| / /\ \ ^ Pipe ^ ||
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| | | \/ | |___________|
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|------| | __||__ | | Alcohol |
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|______| | |Sterno| | \_________/
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Everything should be a little farther apart than depicted in the picture,
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but I only wanted to use 60 columns (80 columns with 1 inch margins).
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However, the longer the tube leading away from the beaker to the condenser,
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the longer the distillation process will take, so keep that quite close.
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If you get the alcohol too close to the flame, it might evaporate. Keep that
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at the end of a long pipe.
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Now, there is only one last step. Take a very long length of surgical
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tubing (the stuff they make water weenies out of) and wrap it around the
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condenser, leaving almost no space in between coils. I usually wrap some duct
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tape around the tubing so it keeps it in place and insulates it a bit. Now,
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run one end of the tubing to mom's flower garden and the other end to a
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valve. Connect the other end of the valve to a hose or some other cold water
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source. Don't do anything stupid like use liquid nitrogen instead of water
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cause it won't speed up the distilling process. This is what the finished
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still should look like:
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________
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| / ____ \ ______
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Fermented | __ __ / / \ \/,----- -=> Heated
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Shit |_____|______| | \ / \ __ __ Water
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___________/----|_|-----, | / / / \____|__
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| | Valve |--| \/ / / >--|_|- <=- Cold
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|------| / \ \/ / / Valve Water
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|Bricks| / \ \/ /
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|------| /Beaker\ \ \_____________
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| | (________) \-------------,|
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|------| / /\ \ ^ Pipe ^ ||
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| | | \/ | |___________|
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|------| | __||__ | | Alcohol |
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|______| | |Sterno| | \_________/
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A friend of mine was going to be doing a lot of distilling cause he made
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a HUGE still. He was going first- class. He lived near a creek that stayed
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pretty cool, so he was going to figure out how to use that unlimited supply of
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water. The creek grew plenty of bushes, so he hid his still in them. He even
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painted the valves green and stuck them out of the bushes and glued leaves on
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to them so nobody could tell it was a still. But he still didn't have any
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water. He couldn't have a small electric pump, cause he didn't have any
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electricity.
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As it turns out, he now has 4 lengths of surgical tubing going down to
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the water, around his (superhuge) condenser. He made a rock and concrete dam
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about 3.5 feet high, to get a fast stream of suction. He then ran the tubes
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down to below the dam, and sucked on them. He siphons the water up and out of
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the creek, through the condenser, and back into the creek. His still is
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awesome! That thing can run as much as he wants it too, cause he isn't
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wasting any water, and it won't show up on any water bill.
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If you are going to be distilling a lot of stuff, you better make a tube
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going out of the bottom of the beaker so you can dump out the water and
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garbage and every now and then. Of course, connect it to a valve, so you
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won't loose any precious alcohol that's trying to turn into steam in the
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beaker. Make sure any tubes (like this one) aren't made out of glass and can
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melt. It's bad when tubes melt, cause that means you have to rebuild the
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still almost from scratch.
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Now that you've got it all set up and the corn (or whatever) is fermented
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and hooked up to the beaker, turn the valve on a bit to drip some puke of your
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Alhambra jug into your beaker. Turn on the sterno or bunsen burner to a high
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flame so it will heat up the beaker. Turn on the cold-water valve so you have
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cold water flowing around the condenser at a trickle. If the water coming out
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of the condenser is cold, turn the valve so even less water is coming out,
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because you don't want to use too much water. But, if it's warm, it's not
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doing its job. Keep the water coming out about lukewarm.
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As this thing's just starting up, keep a good eye on your thermometer.
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You want to keep the temperature just above the boiling point of alcohol
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(which is less than the boiling point of water: 212 degrees). This is so you
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can separate the water from the alcohol by turning only the alcohol into
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steam, and you can get better stuff. If you're not sure of the boiling point
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of alcohol, ask your science teacher, or look it up, cause I don't know
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either.
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Now, watch it, and adjust the valves so the fermented stuff coming out of
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the Alhambra jug just equals the steam going up the pipe, and it won't fill up
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or boil dry. Adjust the cold water valve so the water coming out of the
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surgical tubing is slightly warm. Now, wait. Read a book or download another
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Six Feet Under production, but always keep an eye on the still. When the
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Alhambra jug is empty and the beaker is dry, you are done. Don't expect this
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to go very quick, however.
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If you like almost pure alcohol, distill it again. If you do it right,
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you could have no water at all inside your liquid high. However, even I
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haven't been able to get a batch that good. All it takes is practice and
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getting to know your still. They all have different personalities.
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You now have around 198 proof ethyl alcohol in that collecting cup. Pour
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the alcohol through activated charcoal to remove that nasty shit that makes
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you retarded and blind. The stuff is now safe to drink, but don't. One swig
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of 200 proof alcohol will probably kill you. 150 proof is only for
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experienced drinkers (derelicts). The highest proof I've ever had is 138, and
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it must have been the worst experience of my life.
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Now, mix it in with about 3 parts alcohol and 5 parts Kool-Aid or
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distilled water or something. The more Kool-Aid or water, the less the
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proofage. To give you an idea, beer is around 6 proof, wine coolers are
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around 12, and wine is around 20. I wouldn't recommend more than 100 proof at
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all. If this is your first time, make sure you have a little bit alcohol and a
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shitload of Kool-Aid. You probably won't notice the taste or overdose that
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way.
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If it goes wrong, keep trying. Usually the first time, the stuff will
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taste like shit and be almost all water. It just takes some practice. Also,
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proof is roughly percentage times 2. 50% alcohol is 100 proof alcohol. 100%
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is way too high to drink. Never go above 75 percent alcohol (3 parts alcohol,
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1 part something else), which is 150 proof. That shit could kill you.
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Coming soon: Part II of Homemade Highs: How to smoke pot.
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See ya then....
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///////////////////////////////////////////////////////
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// The PIRATES' HOLLOW //
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// 415-236-2371 //
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// over 12 Megs of Elite Text Files //
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// ROR-ALUCARD //
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// Sysop: Doctor Murdock //
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// C0-Sysops: That One, Sir Death, Sid Gnarly & Finn //
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// //
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// "The Gates of Hell are open night and day; //
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// Smooth is the Descent, and Easy is the way.." //
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///////////////////////////////////////////////////////
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