153 lines
8.3 KiB
Plaintext
153 lines
8.3 KiB
Plaintext
iXHS - information express by helter skelter
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issue 18
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about anarky
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by ruiner
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***
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r00iners AnArKy pHilEz v0l 1.
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LegaL BuLLsh1t: THEZE PHILEZ R 4 INF0RMATON PURPUSES 0NLY!!! U G0T THAT?!?!
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S0 IF U GET KAUT 0R BL0W YUR FINGERZ 0FF WIT DIS INF0ZE THEN U R A STUPIDD
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ASSH0LE FAGG0T FURST 0F ALL...AND SEKOND 0F ALL...IT AIN'T OUR FUCKEN FALT.
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phile Numer0 Un0: Makin' GingEr aLe
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Have u evr wanted 2 make your own ginger ale?! of korse u have Every
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full blown anarkist and ginger ale drincker has thot about it at 1 point or
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another me and my budz g0t tired of paying up 2 $2.50 4 aa b0ttle uf ginger
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ale and up 2 $1.50 4 a kan (it haz 0nly been 1.50 a kan at Kafee WIM when I
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amm at tha 2600 meeetin) Soo me and my budz started to try and n0t pay soo
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much dough 4 da ginger ale by steelin tha ginger ale so we kan drinck da
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ginger aLE bkause we like da ginger ale at furst we just tried to bargen
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with da store cash guy bkuze he iz da guy who sellz us da ginger ale Butt
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tha store guy still wanted tha same amount of moolah but we didnt give up on
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da store guy neckst me and my frends went into da store wearing muthafuckin
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trenchcoats and we said to da stor asshole "Hey Mista U kno dat shit happens
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but if U give us all da ginger ale we want we kan make sure dat none shit
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don't happen 2 your store" And then he told us 2 get outta his stor and never
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cum bak the last stab at da store guy wuz funnee 4 us we went in and sed
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"Look busta!!!!! We R Mutha Fucken Anarkists! Do U kno what anarky meens pal!
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?!?! It meens blowin da fuck outta shit shit like dis store, and if U dont
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give uss all of your ginger ale then dat is what we are plannnin on doin"
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Neckst thin we know...we are surrondred by da pigz and we got our assez
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hauled off 2 da pig sty. So we gave up on tryin to spend less lettuce
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on da ginger ale and dicided 2 not pay anylonger at all 4 da ginger ale
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Phirst we tried 2 steel it but we alwayz get kicked outta da store bkuze of
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da bom thin so neckst we thot "HAY! Letxz steel it rite frum da faktory!!!!"
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So I konned my big brutha to dribve us 2 da neerest Kanada Dry faktory that
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wuz onlee a 3 hour drive when we got there we got into da faktory after
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serchin around 4 an opinin but we set off an alarm and da pigz came again and
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my brutha toook off luckily sinse we r all undur 12 yeers old we didn't get
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in no truble butt my big brutha was charged as an aksesorie then we gave up
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not only koud we not get ginger ale for phree but we kouildnt evhan by it
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nemore then I had a brainstorm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Y dont we make oRE own
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ginger ale?!?!?!??! dat would be fucken koolio to da fucken shit!!!!
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so here are da skematisckas 2 make ure own gingar ale
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carbonated water
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sugar/glucose
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fructose
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citric acid
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natural flavour
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sodium benzoate
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colouring
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N0w get all uf dese thinkgs at da lokal store and mixem all 2getur in a big
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pot for about 3 hours ansd u got homweade ginger ale.. now datz good
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drincken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! notwe: Dis is not phor whimpz AND lamahz, U should
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only reed this if U R smart, if U R a dummass then kill Urself noW!!!!!!!
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phile duos: phree PoWur Bah
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K, This iz it! No more payin for fucken shitty power barz!!!!!! I alwayz
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hated having to go down to fuckin radio slut and havin to pay 7 dollarz 4 a
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powur bar] so I found a simple way around dat and any fucken retard from
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retasrd land kuld undurstand whut I R talkin about nd stufff K, phirst thin
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U need is a safty deposit bocks if you dnt have 1 then GET ONE U FUCKEN
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RETARD! Now remeber Da Safty Depozirt Bocks kan only B used 4 dis purpoz,
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it may kost U a bit butt it'll be wurth it when U got ur power bar now that
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u have a sdb you must put all uf yr identifikashun in it, this iz VITUL!!!
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now U must get a KevlAer Vest, I kant help yoyu out wit dat, U must find 1
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yurself (ttry steelin 1 frum a polise stashun! datsz whut I didn't not du,
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but dats not 4 skared litul farees!!!) Now U have a SDP and a kevlar jacket U
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muzt go to Rideau Centur (THIS ONLY WURKS IN OTTAWA! SO IF YOU FUCKIN LIVE
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SOMEWHERE ELSE AND U WANT PHREE POWER BAHRS THEN YOU BETTUR GET YO SHITTY
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FUCKIN ASS DOWN HEREW FUCKER!!!) and loook 4 da raffel displey thineg and
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you will C dat there is a powur barh powurubng it, take dat and U got a phree
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power bar, now for da last final detale, go toy your sdb and get it shut down
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but leeve ur idebntificashun, now U cant get in truble for gwetting tha powur
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bar bkuxsze tha bank has all ur id so u kant sho it 2 ne1!1!!!!!1!!
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PS, id lik 2 thanck Divin Owverflo 4 dis fuckin grate idea, tankz mann!
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Greeetzz nd showt owts:
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Nitefowl -yur aleeas iz ez 2 speel dood
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Draknesss -C U at Wundrlaundf dood!!!!!!!!
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Luthah -Whenzx UUUI gonna get sumthin out??!?!?!
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Durty Burd -Fish Hed Gan roolz wit toolz dood
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Maledjuster -Mental EXCRUNmenut iz neeto like a speeto
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Textite -Simbuoio.sxysx iz phat like a bat
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Shotttguin -iXHS rox like a bocks ful uf glox
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Morf -Da warezzzZZZzz cave iz da place 2 B
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Phire -I wrot Dis in Montreelal dood!!!!!!!!!!
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Fuxeors yous to:
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Chee Geveero -U got kixored out uf lEEt skool U fuxen lamah!!!!
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Poge Mahune -getr yur name chngered fhoolio!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Buyerviz -KBEK ROOOOLZ FOOLZ
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Joopiter ate -Menshun Lynucks 1 more tym nd I will put a cap in yur ass fool
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Arsonikcs -Relutivtu iz bouring fucko! soo iz intercoencytgcveneszs
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Riet -leern 2 driv foolio, U get me killied soon sumdayr
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Yowlah -grow up lamah U iz only da 11 yers uld
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