114 lines
7.0 KiB
Plaintext
114 lines
7.0 KiB
Plaintext
From Sell Yourself to Science by Jim Hogshire
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published by Loompanics press:
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Brain Dead But Still Body Alive
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If you are unfortunate enough to have a relative who is being kept alive
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mechanically, you will also be unfortunate enough to hear some of the
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"metaphoric" descriptions of how the person appears to be alive, but is not.
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Among those I have seen are:
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To describe a corpse on a ventilator:
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"It's true your daughter's heart is beating and she's warm, but that
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doesn't mean that she is still in her body. The body is like a house. And
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the heart is like a furnace. A furnace can still be on, even when no one is
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at home any longer."
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Worse imagery comes up if the body still possesses some reflex motions.
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Here are a couple of gems I've run across:
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"You know how your muscles twitch as you relax and go to sleep. What you
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saw is a reflex motion. It's the body's way of relaxing into death." Or:
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"It's like when someone dives off a diving board. The board continues to
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move after they've left it and are in the air. Jimmy is no longer in his
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body."
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Or my favorite:
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"If you've ever taken Carol swinging, you know how swings still move
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after children have jumped out of them. Carol's body is like an empty swing."
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When they [the body snatchers] start talking like this you know they're
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serious.
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How to Deal
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One of the best things to do is simply give permission, obtain promises
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that you won't be billed for organ removal and that the body won't be
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mutilated and go home. Having a loved one die suddenly (as is often the case)
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is traumatic in the extreme. The thought of trying to make money off it
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should be sickening. On the other hand, people do buy cemetery plots before
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death and try to get a good deal. They just do it while they're still
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healthy. Once again, the time to think about organ vending is prior to death,
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not when you're grief-stricken. If you don't make plans for this kind of
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hard-nosed wheeling and dealing now, I urge you to forget it. Do not try to
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hammer out business deals over dead relatives in such an extreme situation.
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In this case, please donate or don't donate and be done with it. You've got
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far more important things to occupy your thoughts and emotions than money.
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That having been said, let's look at a strategy for dealing.
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The first thing you should try for is forgiveness of any outstanding
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hospital bills. The procurer may be in a good position to arrange this. Not
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only is this the easiest way to "buy" organs, since no money changes hands and
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any "losses" incurred by the hospital are smaller than whatever you owe them,
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this is highly possible. Besides, it may only be that you owe the hospital a
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few thousand or even a few hundred dollars.
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This method has the added benefit of letting you avoid the pain later on
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when the bill comes. It's amazing, but for all their soppy death metaphors
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and "we understand what you're going through"s the hospital will be very
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stubborn about letting you off the hook for any amount of money. You've got
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to be just as stubborn.
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I would suggest that you make it clear that they can have all the organs
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they want, IF THEY WILL JUST LET YOU GO HOME AND NOT BOTHER YOU ANYMORE.
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Don't say anything about money directly. Tell them, yes, yes, you can have
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little Carol's heart, corneas, whatever--just don't compound the pain by
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billing me for anything. Stress that you don't want to be billed for
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ANYTHING. You just want to go home and begin grieving with your family and
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not have to think about this any longer.
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If the conversation is taking place on the phone, tape record it. If
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it's in person, personalize it. Look straight into the procurer's eyes and
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make a deal. Call him or her by name, make it clear that you understand that
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you will not be responsible for ANY costs concerning little Carol's empty
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swing. Not the ambulance ride, not the failed operation, not the
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complimentary drink they offered you. Present it as a matter of grief. You
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don't want to be bothered with this any more. You couldn't bear to go to the
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mailbox one day and see a staggering bill for Carol's empty swing. Suddenly
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you would be forced to think of her death and worse...her parting out.
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This is a reasonable request. After all, the hospital is about to make
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perhaps half a million bucks off your loved one--all you want is not to have
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to pay for a failed operation, not to have to deal with this loss over a
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period of months while you struggle to pay off the debt. If it is at all
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possible, get some kind of promise in writing, even if it's something
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scribbled on a napkin. Get the person's name. If they've made a deal with
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you, this will serve to prove it later. Even though the deal is illegal, the
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person may realize the best thing to do is comply rather than risk job
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loss/prosecution for "buying" organs from a hysterical relative who was
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clearly under duress.
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Depending on who has died, your sense of humor and the kind of
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relationship you had with the dead person, you might want to see if you can do
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better. Keep in mind that it is illegal to pay people for their organs. But
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go ahead and try. Maybe you can visualize little Carol up in heaven laughing
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as her mom or dad jacks the body snatchers around? In this case, you've got
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to get the money or whatever you want right then and there and then leave the
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hospital. Do not accept checks. Your bargaining position disappears the
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minute you sign the consent forms (or the minute you alienate the procurers so
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much with your callous avarice that they say "fuck it" to little Carol's
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corneas).
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Look around for something. Maybe that kindly nurse with her non-
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threatening body language is sporting a pair of diamond earrings. Maybe
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Father O'Flagherty is wearing a Rolex. How much cash can they scare up in the
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next hour or so? In the next twenty minutes?
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This is a harsh, harsh method of making money and you really should only
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do it if you have prepared yourself ahead of time. Just know that you can do
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it. Organs are literally worth millions of dollars, but only for a short
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period of time.
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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Another file downloaded from: The NIRVANAnet(tm) Seven
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& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Taipan Enigma 510/935-5845
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Burn This Flag Zardoz 408/363-9766
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realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 510/527-1662
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Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 801/278-2699
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The New Dork Sublime Biffnix 415/864-DORK
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The Shrine Rif Raf 206/794-6674
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Planet Mirth Simon Jester 510/786-6560
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"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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