64 lines
3.7 KiB
Plaintext
64 lines
3.7 KiB
Plaintext
How to get CD's and Tapes For free!
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Another Fabulous "Your Brain on Drugs" "Zillafiles!" (tm)
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Your Author, Godzilla would like to point out, from the beginning, that this
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text file that you are reading at this very moment, is made STRICTLY for
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entertainment purposes, and is not to be taken seriously because it is illeagal
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to do the item contained in this file.
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Hello Good folks of Anarchy land! It is I, your FAVORITE burned out pot
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smoking computer modem geek, Godzilla.. This is a quite simple and small file,
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because 1 it works and 2 i can get right to the point.. How would YOU like to
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own a SHITLOAD of tapes/cd's for only 1 cent with nothing more to buy EVER..
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well, if you see the same ads i do in all of the magazines, you know that you
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have to buy like 8 or nine <or is it more> tapes/cd's at "regular" club prices,
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which in itself is bad enough, but THEN they send you shitty tapes that you SURE
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AS HELL dont want, <Shit so bad you cant GIVE it away> like anne murray songs
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and the like.. Anyway, here is a way to get for VERY LITTLE <1 cent plus
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shipping and handling> to get your free buncha tapes/cd's with nothing more to
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buy ever AND no hasstles from the company.. Here is the trick. Find your ad for
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the tapes. Fill it out like you would as if you were actually ordering stuff.
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Then, mail the order form in, along with your ever so small charge. When you get
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your tapes/cd's enjoy them, because they are yours. As for the bill, throw it
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away,it doesnt matter. Then in about 2 weeks, you will receive a "Shitty album".
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You know, the one noone wants, well, keep that too. It is yours. play frisbee
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with it or something. Anyhow, the company will catch on at this time and say
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among themselves "Hey, yaknow? This asshole never sent us our cash for those
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good albums or the shitty one, lets not send him the next shitty one, and lets
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just bill him." Then all they will do is send you a bill. here is the neat part,
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when you get the bill, simply get a dark marker <like a sharpie marker> for a
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Buck at any school supplies store, and write "Deceased" across the unopened
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envelope<bill> and put it back in your mailbox. The U.S. Mail will nicely pick
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it up, and send it back to the company, who will say "Gee, Poor mother fucker
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gone died on us, oh well, looks like were out our cash. Bummer." I mean, think
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of it, they would have to claim against your estate if you really died, and it
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would cost a hell of a lot more than it would be worth. So, they just let it
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slide. Just dont try this method more than once. For obvious reasons..
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Method #2 For all of you who are 17 and under.
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Send it away as you normally would, but instead of writing "Deceased" on the
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envelope, simply send them a letter saying that it is illeagal to have a binding
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contract with a minor in your state. Simple as that. Due to the fact that..
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Well, it is.. so the record company fucks themselves by sending it to you in the
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first place... There tough luck..
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I know those of you that have seen the other "Zillafiles"(tm) are thinking
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"Damn, this one sure is short" It Is. the reason for it being so short is
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because 1) I am tired and 2) it is so simple, why drag it out.
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Anyway, as with all "Your Brain on Drugs" "Zillafiles" (tm) the methods listed
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in the file have all be proven to work <even though they are for entertainment>.
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So be carefull kiddies lest the dogs of wrath maul you.
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And as usual, Please, do not edit, change, rearrange, mutilate, beseige, kill,
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or generally fuck up this text file. Thank you.
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Comments to the Editor/publisher/president of "Your Brain on Drugs" "Zillafiles"
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Can be reached at the following BBS's..
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The Citadel (305)785-4038 E-Mail Godzilla
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Infinate Darkness (305)561-3877 " "
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