98 lines
4.7 KiB
Plaintext
98 lines
4.7 KiB
Plaintext
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+$/$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+
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$ $
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+ Some interesting ways to +
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$ kill a friend (or enemy) $
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+ +
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$ by $
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+ -=> THE GREMLIN <=- +
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$ $
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Hi, it's me, The Gremlin again. This time, I decided to write about some
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cool ways to kill somebody you don't like, and have a good time laughing
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while you do it.
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..If he/she races BMX, string a 60 pound test line across a jump or in the
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middle of the track...
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..Staple his mouth to the tail-pipe of your BMW, and put a piece of tape
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across his nose, then drive about 20 miles at top-speed, by this time, his
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mouth should be enmeshed with the tail-pipe, his knuckles, knees, and feet
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will be practically non-existent from dragging on the ground, AND he'll be
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quite dead from inhaling all that Carbon Monoxide...
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..Make concrete blocks out of his hands, then hang him from a bridge across
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a not too well travelled road, by his feet. Set him swinging, and wait for
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the next truck or van...
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..Hang him spread-eagle off a diving board, with a weight tied around his
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stomach. If the board is low enough, you should be able to bounce up and
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down on the board, and watch him drown slowly...
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..Tie a rope around his neck straight up to the top of a sail on a sail-
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boat, and strap his feet to the floor, straight in the middle of the boat.
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Every time the sail comes around, it should hit him quite hard in the head.
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I recommend this only for very windy days...
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..Use him as a marker in a giant slalom ski race...
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..slide razor blades across his back for about 20 minutes, then give him
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the choice of shooting himself in the head, or being thrown in a bath-tub
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full of gin...
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..tie him up spread eagle in front of a pitching machine, in such a way
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that the tip of his nose is about 2 inches away from the barell...
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..tie him up, and handcuff him. Then put his fingers in between the type-
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head of an old-fashioned typewriter, and the paper. You might like typing
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out your opinions of him, while he suffers...
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..Take a pair of handcuffs and put them on his feet. Then strap a rope
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between them, so you hold on to the rope. Go on Space Mountain in Disney-
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Land, and drag him off the back. If you get tired or scared, just let go,
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it's only 80 or 90 feet down to the concrete...
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..steal all the jacks at the Indy 500, and use him as a replacement...
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..If he happens to be a sadist, pluck off his arms and legs, just as he
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probably did to flies...
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..bury him standing up 8 feet deep in sand, then make a wider area around
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his head about 2 feet deep. Pry his eyes open with something (preferably
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infectious) and pour in salt. THEN let in six rats, and watch them gouge
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out his eyes for food...
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..Tie rubber-bands around his ankles (really strong and long ones MUST be
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used for this, about 10 feet long) and go up on top of a high dive, that
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is shorter than the somewhat extended length of the rubber-bands. Use
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him as a yo-yo...
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..String him out across the track at the next Summer Olympics right before
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the mens 100 meter dash, in place of the ribbon...
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..Get all dressed up in a radiation suit, and drive out to Three Mile
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Island or some other nuclear test that failed its' safety test. Find a huge
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vat of anything that looks dangerous, is boiling, or is made of a color
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nature never knew existed. Then grab him by the ankles (like Achilles'
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mother did) and dunk him in it for about 10 minutes...
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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Another file downloaded from: The NIRVANAnet(tm) Seven
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& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Taipan Enigma 510/935-5845
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Burn This Flag Zardoz 408/363-9766
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realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 510/527-1662
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Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 801/278-2699
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The New Dork Sublime Biffnix 415/864-DORK
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The Shrine Rif Raf 206/794-6674
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Planet Mirth Simon Jester 510/786-6560
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"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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