114 lines
5.5 KiB
Plaintext
114 lines
5.5 KiB
Plaintext
[Part 3]: How To Have Phun At Radio Shack
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Black Death Proudly Presents A
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// // ** // // ** ////
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// // ** // // ** // //
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///////// ** ///////// ** // //
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// ** // // ** //////////
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// ** // // ** // //
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// ** // // ** // //
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Phreakers/Hackers/Anarchists Production
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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"How to Have Phun at Radio Shack"
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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Disclaimer: This file is for Entertainment Purposes only. Radio Shack is a fine
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Americain Establishment and should be treated with Honor and Respect. Neither
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the Author or his companions endorse violence, anarchy, or any related
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subjects.
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-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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Allright, so you're wandering through your local mall, and you're
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thinking, "Why the Hell am I here?" You're surrounded by Flat-Chested Pre-Teens
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with high-squeking voices and you're really starting to get annoyed.
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But Wait, Up Ahead in the Distance, you see a Shimering Light... Could
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be? By George, it is.
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RADIO SHACK
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The Possibilities are endless. An Entire Store, Filled with Idiots who
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haven't the slightest Idea what they're doing. Once I was shopping there for
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some Capacitors, POTs, etc.. and I asked the guy if I could substitute one part
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for another (I was attempting a Red Box), so the guy says, "Nobody here knows
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what this Shit is. We had a guy here a few years ago who did, But I fired him.
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Didn't like him.."
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This should give you a picture of the Mentality of the Basic Radio
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Shack employee. Anyways on with the story. These stores have lots of
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potentially phun products. Let's take a step-by-step look at some of the better
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ones.
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First lets look around for those Nifty Remote Control Cars they usually
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have sitting around. Found 'em? Great. Now if you're EXTREMELY lucky they'll
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have batteries in them. Most, however, will not. So you're going to have to
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supply the batteries yourself. Not Carrying them with you? Go buy em from Radio
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Shack. OK Now that you have you batteries put them in the car of your choice.
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Place the Car in a choice posistion in which you think it will startle
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them the most. (ie: on top of the boxes of other cars, &c).
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Now you have two choices, either do it yourself, or have someone else
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do it for you. I highly suggest the latter. So what you do is, turn the car on,
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hopefully, the engine doesn't make too much noise. Now you have to get someone
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to use the damn thing. A couple methods I find effective are
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A) Go up to the guy working at the counter and say, "Excuse me, but could you
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explain the little joystick in the middle of this thing to me?" He'll think
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you're pretty stupid, but hey, we're dealing with Radio Shack Employees here.
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Most Likely, his Explanation will involve moving the joystick, sending th car
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flying off the boxes.
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B) (Kinda week, But some people are really, really dumb) Place the controller
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by one of their computers. Put a sign (hand written or typed) saying "Try our
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NEW Wireless Joystick" Next to it. Some kid will eventually come along, and
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Boom.. There goes the car.
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But there are other things to do here too! Yes that's right! More!
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Go to the back (or wherever they have all their Electronic parts) and switchj
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around all the labels for the CAPs, POTs, Etc... This will take the average
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worker quite a while to get back in order..
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Also, most Radio Shacks are kind Enough to provide us with ready to use
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computers. How Sweet. Most of them will have a nice text editor with them.
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You can do pretty much anything from here. If you want to be direct about it,
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just delete their hard disc. But I think we can have more fun with them than
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that. You can screw around with their config.sys a bit, add a bunch of weird
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shit in there and see what happens. Have phun with it. Then there's the
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autoexec.bat file. You can fuck around a bit in there, make it...
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:echo off
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:echo Fatal Error 1012
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:prompt -Please Reboot-
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:echo on
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That wil keep the average worker wondering for a while. Yeah, like I
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ssaid, they aren't too smart.
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Now if you're Really Phortunate, you may find a Basic Compiler (Or
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Pascal, C, etc..) Lying around their disc somewhere. If you're familiar with
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the language you can type up a nice virus and put it in their autoexec file.
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What the hell, Bring your own virus to radio shack and stick it in there.
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I'm sure you get the general idea. Do whatever you want, it's not as
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if you're the one who's gonna have to pay for it. Just make sure you pick up
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one of their catolouges (which brings up another interesting radio shack
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quote...
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Me: Do you Have a Catolouge?
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Worker Guy: Yup, Sure do!
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<Pause>
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Me: Well, You think maybe you can give it to me?
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Worker dude: Oh! OK yeah sure!
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... Anyways pick up one so you can look up all the parts for your, uhh.. ,
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science project! Yeah that's it! Gotta do a science project on, uhhh,
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Telecommunications in the 1990s. That's the ticket.
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Have Phun.
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