57 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
57 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
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How to Really Piss Off a Wallgreens, Or A Dominick's
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Have you ever been in a drug store, such as Walgreens, and found that
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you were out of money and really hungry? Or maybe you were just in the mood for
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some fun. I've always been a muschief fanatic myself, and thought I'd share
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with you some experiences I've had at Wallgreens and Dominick's.
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How many of you have been arrested for shoplifting? Well, I've never
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had this unfortunate experience happen, but I have friends who have, and
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Wallgreen's is notorious for keeping an eagle-eye out for thieves. Well, we
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decided that if they were gonna be serious so were we.
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One day we decided to cause a little ruckus. A nice Saturday night, a
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buddy of mine and I went to Wallgreens and started looking around. I, keeping a
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low profile, hadn't a reputation and wasnt known by the manager. My friend,
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however, had a record a mile long (it's even longEr now) and was instantly put
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under surveillance as soon as we entered. We strutted over to the candy
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section, and marveled at all the nice things to eat. Shawn, (my buddy- last
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name anony) who was always prepared, wore his jacket that we had prepared for
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this special occasion. It had a huge hole in the bottom of the pocket, and was
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used to sike the manager out of his skull!
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Shawn made sure he was being watched before he proceeded. He went to the
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gum rack, took a pack of gum, and cooly slipped it into his pocket- a little
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too cooly- but with all intentions- for our friend the manager raised an
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eyebrow. When we proceeded out the store, the manager ran out the electronic
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opening door (I'll get to that later) and grabbed Shawn by the arm.
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"Ha you little shit! I got you now!" The dick proclaimed, feeling like
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he was on Miami Vice or something.
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"What are you talking about?" Shawn nonchelantly asked.
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The dick proceeded to search Shawn's pockets for the gum. When he turned
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up with nothing, he searched us both. We, of course, were laughing our heads
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off. When Shawn slipped the gum into his pocket, it fell through his pocket and
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into another tray of candy. Shawn had his back turned from the manager (adding
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to the suspicion) so he couldnt have seen it fall. The Manager threatened us
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with all kinds of nasty things, but we just flipped him off and walked away,
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and went home and rolled with laughter for the rest of the night.
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PART II- The electronic door: I said I would get back to this, so here
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it is.
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When the manager ran out the door, we could have made things even
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harder for the old guy. If youve ever looked at the box over an electric door,
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it sometimes has a switch. Flip this, and sit back, and watch the fun!
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I've seen these switches at the Dominick's/Walgreens connected stores.
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What the switch does is turn off the automatic opener. The hilarious part is:
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What happens when some fat lady with six kids and a cart full of groceries (at
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least two kids are in the cart) comes bustling out the door? Answer- She smacks
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right into the door, expecting it to open for her, and the cart burys itself
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into her rolls of stomach, and the kids fall over and crush the fat lady's 3.99
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box of grade A eggs. This can be enjoyed anytime, but usually works best at
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night when people are in a rush to get home so they can watch their programs on
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T.V.
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I hope you try these easy but pleasing techniques of relly pissing
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someone off- Its always been a favorie thing of mine to do- I hope it will soon
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be one of yours. Thank you for your attention.
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-Dr. Nitemare-
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