72 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
72 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
Being a Public Enemy of your Neighborhood
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by Excursionist
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8/1/89
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In the past, I have seen sevaral Anarchy Magazines and anarchy text files
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that cover everything from blowing up sea gulls to making poisons from
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household plants. They are all well written and useful for the everyday
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anarchist, but they lack something. Realism. I'm not saying all these texts are
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unrealistic, but a lot of them are.
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Once I stumbled across a g-file entitled "WIPEOUT.BOX" which went into
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great depth to describe how to eliminate all the people in your neighborhood.
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The required materials for this box were: 1 cargo airplane, 1 nuclear warhead,
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and piloting skills. I do not know why the author of that text file even
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bothered to load up his text editor to write something so utterly stupid as
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that.
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This is why I am writing this file.... So an everyday person like me who
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doesn't work for METLEX Explosives & Research Company can create havok within
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his/her neighborhood. The required materials are things you can find around
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your house, or if not, go to K-Mart and buy them for $20 or less. The most
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expensive thing is a bb gun I suppose.
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Wrapping a dick head's house:
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[1] 2-? rolls of Brand X toilet paper
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(i.e. Kroger Kost Kutter toilet paper. No use
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wasting good paper on an asshole's house)
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[2] Lot's of piss. Chug down a couple of cans of
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your favorite beverage 30-45 minutes before
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you leave on your venture.
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Optional: [3] Generic bb gun
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As you might have guessed by now, the simplicity of this scheme is grand.
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Since a lot of neighborhoods are now being patrolled from 1:00 - 5:00 am., I
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suggest leaving your home at around 12:15 am. This gives you 45 minutes of
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trouble making. As mentioned earlier, consume 3-6 cans of your favorite
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non-alchoholic beverage [being drunk when wrapping a house doesn't help much]
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before leaving the comfort of your home.
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Sneak out of the house through a bedroom/bathroom window so that no one
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including your neighbors see you. Walk/jog/run/sprint to the victim's general
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area. Once there, make sure no one is watching. Optional: Shoot out the street
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lights with your bb gun before proceeding any further.
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Then the excitement begins. Commence to tear off 3-10 foot pieces of
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toilet paper from the roll and spread them in all the necessary places.
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Suggested areas: Windows and hard to reach places like the roof. Putting the
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paper on windows is the most ideal spot because when you urinate all over the
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toilet paper, it will stick best to the windows. Ring the doorbell 5 times and
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haul ass through the backyards.
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If you are pursued by violent dogs or hostile victims, that's what your
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bb gun is for. Just make sure you don't hit them in the face since homocide
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is not your intent. But whatever you do, do not let them see your face. Put
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your shirt over your uglyness if you have to, but don't let anyone catch a
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glimpse of your head.
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This walk through of rapping a house is a picture-perfect sequence of
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events that have worked marvalously for me in the past. But here's the catch:
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Everything NEVER goes right. If it does, leave me E-mail on one of the boards
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I'm on and tell me how you did it. I suppose that wraps things up for this file.
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Hope you have fun with it.
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-[ExCursion]-
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*******************************************************************************
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I would like to thank the Death Master for letting me on his board so he will
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be the first one to receive this text. hehehehe....
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*******************************************************************************
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phile #1 of the Nuisance series
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