33 lines
2.3 KiB
Plaintext
33 lines
2.3 KiB
Plaintext
HOW TO HAVE FUN AT K-MART WELL, FIRST OFF, ONE MUST REALISE THE IMPORTANCE OF
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K-MARTS IN SOCIETY TODAY. FIRST OFF, K-MARTS PROVIDE THINGS CHEAPER TO THOSE
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WHO CAN'T AFFORD TO SHOP AT HIGHER QUALITY STORES. ALTHOUGH, ALL I EVER SEE
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IN THERE IS MINORITIES AND SENIOR CITIZENS, AND THE POOR PEOPLE IN OUR CITY.
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PERSONALLY, I WOULDN'T BE CAUGHT DEAD IN THERE. BUT, ONCE, I DID. YOU SEE,
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ONCE, AFTER THE MOON ROACH AND HAVOC CHAOS (DEAR FRIENDS OF MINE) AND I WERE
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EXPLORING SUCH FUN THINGS AS ROOFTOPS, WE CAME ALONG A K-MART. AMUSED, AND
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COLD FOR THAT MATTER, WE WANDERED IN. THE TENSION MOUNTS. AS WE WALKED UP TO
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THE ENTRANCE, WE WERE NEARLY ATTACKED BY YOUTH GROUPS SELLING CHEAP COOKIES,
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AND WHEELCHAIR STRICKEN PEOPLE SELLING AMERICAN FLAGS. AFTER LAUGHING AT
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THESE PEOPLE, WE ENTERED. THIS IS WHERE THE REAL FUN BEGINS... FIRST, WE
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WANDERED AROUND THE STORE, AND TURNED ON ALL THE BLUE LIGHTS WE COULD FIND.
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THAT REALLY DISTRACTS AND CONFUSES THE ATTENDENTS...FUN TO DO... THE FIRST
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NEAT THING, IS TO GO TO THE SECTION OF THE STORE WHERE THEY SELL COMPUTERS.
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DARKNESS ENGULF THE EARTH THE DAY THEY FIND APPLE COMPUTERS BEING SOLD THERE.
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INSTEAD, LESSER COMPUTERS LIKE THE LAUGHABLE VIC-20 CAN BE FOUND THERE...
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TURN IT ON, AND MAKE SURE NOBODY'S LOOKING...THEN, ONCE IN BASIC, TYPE...
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]10 PRINT "FUCK THE WORLD! ANARCHY RULES!" (OR SOMETHING TO THAT EFFECT.)
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]20 GOTO 10
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AND WALK AWAY.
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ALSO, SET THE SAMPLE RADIOS IN THE STORE TO A SANTANIC ROCK STATION, AND TURN
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THE RADIO OFF. THEN, SET THE ALARM FOR TWO MINUTES AHEAD OF THE TIME
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DISPLAYED THERE. TURN THE VOLUME UP ALL THE WAY, AND WALK AWAY. AFTER ABOUT
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TWO MINUTES, YOU WILL SEE THE CLERK FEEBLY ATTEMPT TO TURN THE RADIO DOWN OR
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OFF. IT'S REALLY NEAT TO SET TEN OR MORE RADIOS TO DIFFERENT STATIONS, AND
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WALK AWAY. ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS TO DO, IS TO GET ONTO THE INTERCOM SYSTEM
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OF THE STORE. EASIER TYPED THEN DONE. FIRST, CHECK OUT THE GARDEN DEPARTMENT
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YOU SAY THERE'S NO ATTENDENT THERE? GOOD. SNEAK CAREFULLY OVER TO THE PHONE
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BEHIND THE CHEAP COUNTER THERE, AND PICK IT UP. DIAL THE NUMBER CORRESPONDING
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TO THE ITEM THAT SAYS 'PAGE'...AND TALK. YOU WILL NOTE THAT YOUR VOICE WILL
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ECHO ALL OVER THE BOWELS OF K-MART. I WOULD SUGGEST ANNOUNCING SOMETHING ON
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THE LINES OF: "ANARCHY RULES!!" BY: THE DAREDEVIL
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