96 lines
5.9 KiB
Plaintext
96 lines
5.9 KiB
Plaintext
*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@
|
|
& #
|
|
^ Killing Canines $
|
|
% The Coven Way %
|
|
$ ^
|
|
% (____) (____) (____) (____) %
|
|
^ \ / \ / \ / \ / $
|
|
& \/ \/ \/ \/ #
|
|
*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@
|
|
|
|
Disclaimer:I suggest you try every damn one of these things. Have a helluva
|
|
time.
|
|
|
|
It's Saturday morning... 4 AM... You were supposed to be in 3 hours ago,
|
|
so you are sneaking in... And no matter what you do, whether it is try to
|
|
quietly open a window or slowly open the door, the damn dog your mother loves
|
|
so much starts barking like hell. Parents wake up, and you're busted. They
|
|
finally go to bed, wake up the next day, and find Fido splattered in the
|
|
Microwave. Damn mutts.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Has that ever happened to you? Well even if it hasn't and you just hate
|
|
the
|
|
little f*****s, here's a file to give you some ideas for getting rid of them
|
|
and having a helluva time, too.
|
|
|
|
|
|
It's the middle of summer. You're going to the mall to laugh at old people
|
|
or something, when suddenly you notice that SOMEone has left a dog inside their
|
|
car, but with the window down. (You grin evilly and head for the target!)
|
|
Ok, if the window is down enough and the dog isn't a Pit Bull or something,
|
|
pull
|
|
the little b*****d out of there, tie it to your bumper, and Head Out To The
|
|
Highway. Window not down far enough? Smash it. Or, you could feed the little
|
|
bone-chewing b*****d a bag of chocolate chip cookies. (A chemical in the
|
|
chocolate is poison to them.) If you want, feed the thing a penny minted after
|
|
1982 (embed it in something), the Zinc will drop the mutt. Of course, if you
|
|
just want to harrass it, throw things at it from outside the car, swat at it
|
|
with a broom, shoot it with a BB gun, throw a cat into the car, throw another
|
|
DOG into the car, etc etc etc.
|
|
Do you have a neighbor who really p****s you off? Do they ever tie their
|
|
dog up outside? Well if they do,and it's nice and hot outside,put Anti-Freeze
|
|
in their water-dish. (The Dog's dish for you dump a***s). They like the taste,
|
|
but it kinda kills them. You could always take off it's dog tag and release the
|
|
POOR creature, then call the Pound. If you think you can pull it off, put some
|
|
Quick-Dry cement and some Flour into a bowl and put it where the dog can eat it
|
|
They eat it, get thirsty, drink water, get stoned.
|
|
It's night-time. You're bored. Need something to do? Go out and find a
|
|
dog somewhere, it oughtta be easy enough. You hate the little s**t. You want
|
|
him dead. But you want to have some fun first. Ok, be nice to him for awhile,
|
|
get him to be friendly to you...The pour gas all over him and light the f****r
|
|
up! Flaming dogs running through the streets, oh what a feeling. Of course,
|
|
you could just our Sulfuric acid all over it instead of gas...
|
|
It's your little sister's birthday. She gets a stupid a** puppy. What's it
|
|
gonna do? Lick your ankles and s**t on the carpet. You're going down the
|
|
highway with the 'family' which now includes a puppy which also wants to ride
|
|
in your lap. (Probably wants to p*** on you, right?) Well,the puppy looks bored, so you're gonna roll down the window so it can see outside better and get some wind in his face. Then throw that son of a dog-bitch out the window. If you're going fast enough they'll skid around on the highway for awhile before someone makes a spot out of Spot.
|
|
Got some rope handy? Got a dog handy? There are lots of things you can
|
|
do... Tie the rope around the dog's lower half and hind legs. Holding the
|
|
other end, twirl the mutt around and around over your head! Look! Up in the
|
|
sky! It's Super Puppy flying through the air when you let go of the rope! Of
|
|
course, if you can spin fast enough you could slam the poor s***'s body into a
|
|
tree trunk, or throw it out onto the highway at the Big Rigs. (50 points for
|
|
each Truck you hit, see who can get the most point!) Or, instead of throwing
|
|
the b*****d into trees, throw an end of the rope (or the dog) over some high
|
|
object like a tree-limb or swing, or any other 'bar'. Pull the s**t up so his
|
|
feet can't touch the ground and tie off your end. Hey! It's a rope swing!
|
|
Grab hold of those legs and see how long it takes them to pull out of his body!
|
|
(Or if it's near a road,see how many cars you can hit). Or if you just want to
|
|
have fun with him while he's hanging there,push him high and higher,see if you
|
|
can make him do a complete loop. Fun, huh?
|
|
Well, you hate dogs, but you aren't really into creative slaughter... So,
|
|
just take a shotgun and blow the f****r to pieces. Or run over the s**t in a
|
|
car. (Chasing them through their owner's yard is always a fun thing to do) If
|
|
you're good with a lasso you could snag the mutt while driving past him, then
|
|
see how many mail boxes you can hit with him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I hope this has been informative, and may all your problems with those
|
|
f*****g canine hell-hounds be easily solved from now on. Happy dog killing!
|
|
|
|
Mephisto
|
|
(Thanks to Omegan and Orcus for some of the ideas)
|
|
|
|
The Coven are Mephisto, Omegan, Drummer, The Jackal, and Orcus
|
|
|
|
More files soon.
|
|
|
|
Chaos rampant.
|
|
An age of distrust.
|
|
Confrontations.
|
|
Impulsive sabbath.
|
|
On and on, south of heaven.
|
|
|