181 lines
9.3 KiB
Plaintext
181 lines
9.3 KiB
Plaintext
.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;
|
||
The Complete Guide
|
||
to
|
||
Kmart and Target
|
||
Fun
|
||
|
||
by:
|
||
the Hysterical One
|
||
and
|
||
Breeon
|
||
|
||
March 10th, 1988
|
||
|
||
;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.
|
||
|
||
Many a person has departed from his employment with past secrets of the company
|
||
he worked for. When those secrets can benefit others, it's logical to pass
|
||
those on. As past employees of those incredible culture centers of flashing
|
||
blue lights and red vests, we felt it necessary to let the world know about the
|
||
information. Have fun!
|
||
|
||
__________
|
||
/ /
|
||
/ Kmart /
|
||
/_________/
|
||
|
||
|
||
Kmart, the home of the flashing blue light, provides much fun and opportunity
|
||
for financial gain.
|
||
|
||
TYFSOK (pronounced tife-sock). This cute little acronym is the little saying
|
||
that we all get sick of whenever we visit Kmart. It stands for "Thank you for
|
||
shopping our Kmart." If you leave, and are not told TYFSOK by the checkout
|
||
individual, immediately go to the service desk and ask for the manager.
|
||
Explain to him that the checkout person did not say the TYFSOK crap, and you
|
||
will be rewarded with a $10 gift certificate. TYFSOK is a way of life for the
|
||
Kmart Checkout operator.
|
||
|
||
Shoplifting. Kmart has had a large share of shoplifting. The security systems
|
||
in all the stores I have visited are very state-of-the-art. The important
|
||
lookout for the number of cameras scanning is to look for large
|
||
black-plexiglass covers just above the top level of shelving in the stores.
|
||
These "windows" house either a person watching, or a camera scanning.
|
||
|
||
Although they don't want you to know it, Kmart very rarely has the
|
||
"pseudo-customer." Usually this person is hired during the Christmas season.
|
||
Be on the lookout for a 30-40 year old man or woman, dressed in average
|
||
clothing for the area you are in. Be watchful for friendliness with working
|
||
store clerks, and if you aren't sure, follow that person around. The average
|
||
"Kmart psuedo-customer" looks fairly obvious, when you spend 2 hours in a store
|
||
and don't purchase a thing.
|
||
|
||
The important notation: Say you are in the sporting goods department, and you
|
||
just stashed softball glove, or fishing reel, or something in your jacket and
|
||
are about to make a hasty getaway. If you hear the wonderful call
|
||
"Three-hundred and a half from sporting goods, three-hundred and a half from
|
||
sporting goods..." in a nice calm tone, you have been spotted. Get out of the
|
||
store as fast as possible if you are going to get away. Kmart employees are
|
||
instructed to follow you as far as possible. Many Kmarts are in Mall areas, so
|
||
that person will usually stash his name tag in his pocket, and follow you. Be
|
||
wary, if you take the risk.
|
||
|
||
Fires: If you hear over the P.A. system..." Caroline to the Garden Shop,
|
||
Caroline to the Garden Shop," there is a fire alarm going off in the Garden
|
||
Shop. Almost always it is a false alarm, usually arising with someone trying
|
||
to go out of a door they aren't supposed to.
|
||
|
||
The Blue Light. The Blue light runs off of a car battery, is on wheels, is
|
||
never in storage, and there are usually 3-4 at most stores, with two being the
|
||
minimum number. The blue light charges all night with a 6 amp trickle charger
|
||
for car batteries. Generally, someone who "looks" like a Kmart employee can
|
||
take one and move it around without saying anything, although I have yet to
|
||
meet anyone with the balls to steal one. Nevertheless, it would provide a VERY
|
||
nice addition to the college dorm room decoration.
|
||
|
||
Other calls: Using the intercom on an in-store Kmart phone usually means
|
||
hitting a button labeled "P.A." A call of "One-thousand to the xxx department,
|
||
one-thousand to the xxx department" is a call for assistance in the xxx
|
||
department. The only use of this to you might be for you to go ahead and call
|
||
for assistance yourself, or to check and see if the person on duty in that
|
||
department is around. "Three-ten to the xxx department, three-ten to the xxx
|
||
department" is a call for the manager to go to whichever department. This is
|
||
not and emergency call, it's for customer asstance, or to void a cash register
|
||
operation, etc... All these calls are repeated twice.
|
||
|
||
Returning merchandise: Although they don't advertise it, most Kmarts have a
|
||
no-receipt-necessary refund policy. They boast about the ease in returning
|
||
merchandise at any Kmart, regardless of where it was purchased. What this
|
||
means, is that you can pretty much return anything to Kmart, if it is sold at
|
||
Kmart. You will receive the current price in of that merchandise in the store.
|
||
So, if you return something that is on sale, you will get the sale price. If
|
||
you wait until after the sale, you will get the regular price. In fact, should
|
||
you be so lucky as to get into the Kmart garbage room, you can get broken
|
||
merchandise (although it is usually destroyed, sometimes you get lucky), and
|
||
return it for a full refund. Refunds mean that you will have your name and
|
||
home address and phone number recorded, but they don't require identification,
|
||
so you can leave any kind of data. Exchanges require no recording.
|
||
|
||
Bogus Credit Card booklets: Every cashier has one of the booklets issued by
|
||
credit card companies, listing their stolen credit cards. The employee or the
|
||
store gets a $50 bonus for retrieving stolen credit cards. I have found it
|
||
quite easy, however, to take off with one of these books, because they just lie
|
||
around on top of the cash register within full reach.
|
||
|
||
___________
|
||
/ /
|
||
/ Target /
|
||
/__________/
|
||
|
||
|
||
Target, the land of the red vests, doesn't have as many opportunities as Kmart,
|
||
but nevertheless, some.
|
||
|
||
Shoplifting: Target has on duty at all times at least one "pseudo-customer."
|
||
They are of all ages, but most don't push shopping carts around. The men
|
||
usually walk around with a compact disc while the women usually have clothing
|
||
of some sort. Frequently the security people are rotated among the stores in
|
||
the district, so the Target employees don't even know who the
|
||
"pseudo-customers" are. Of course, there are usually more at Christmas.
|
||
|
||
If you see someone peeking around the end of an aisle at you, or following you
|
||
around, they are watching you. If you are approaching the door with stolen
|
||
merchandise, and you are a person that looks like an obvious trouble maker, you
|
||
will hear a "Manager on duty nine nine nine" repeated twice, you soon see a lot
|
||
of excited young men in red vests rapidly approaching the front doors. If you
|
||
already outside the doors, you better kick it in the ass; Target employees will
|
||
follow you, even pursue you in cars, through swamps, woods. If you ditch the
|
||
merchandise, they will hunt that stuff down too, so they can nail you for it.
|
||
If you are not out of the doors yet, leave the merchandise in a cart and walk
|
||
out the door without it. You have to have the stuff out of the door before
|
||
they can get you for shoplifting.
|
||
|
||
As far as cameras, their ceiling panels have holes in them, and the cameras are
|
||
hidden above. It is nearly impossible to determine where the cameras are, or
|
||
where they are recording. They will watch the employees also; there are
|
||
cameras in employee areas. Occasionally, there are two-way mirros in the
|
||
store, but they aren't often used and are less effective than cameras.
|
||
|
||
Fires: If you run out of a fire door, an alarm will sound and an employee will
|
||
be there as soon as possible, and another employee will either call "Security"
|
||
if they see someone running from the door (theft suspicion) or call "Manager on
|
||
duty" if the door opening was an accident. If you hear "Code Red xxx
|
||
department" repeated 3 or 4 times, there is a fire in the xxx department. If
|
||
you want to see another large group of excited young men in red vests rapidly
|
||
approaching a department with fire extinguishers, just go up to any in-store
|
||
phone, dial 4 to get the intercom and say the above page. To dial out on an
|
||
in-store phone, dial 9, and if you get another dial tone, you have an outside
|
||
line, and if you get a busy signal, then you can not dial out of that phone.
|
||
|
||
Returns of merchandise: When returning any merchandise without a receipt,
|
||
Target will give you the last sale price of that merchandise instead of the
|
||
sale price. If you return something without a receipt valued over $100, they
|
||
will record your name and keep the record for a month, for comparison purposes
|
||
(i.e. you are returning a lot of merchandise). Identification is required if
|
||
a refund is issued for an item over $100. Exchanges can be made for the same
|
||
item, for any reason (you can't exchange shoes for bowling balls, etc...).
|
||
|
||
_______________
|
||
/ /
|
||
/ In closing /
|
||
/______________/
|
||
|
||
In closing we would like to add several things. Both of these stores have very
|
||
good security, and theft and mischief is a hell of a lot easier in other
|
||
stores. Nevertheless, people will try. Of course, this information will
|
||
change if too many people know about it. As far as any personal reasons for
|
||
making this file, we said "What the phuck..." Ha ha ha....
|
||
|
||
Typed March 10th, 1988 at 8:29:39 pm.
|
||
|
||
Call the Temples of Syrinx....3/12/2400 baud...40 Megs......
|
||
/701/237/5439
|
||
Ask about access to the hidden elite section, the Altar.
|
||
|
||
|
||
.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;.,;
|
||
This has been a What-the-Phuck production
|
||
;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.;,.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|