144 lines
7.7 KiB
Plaintext
144 lines
7.7 KiB
Plaintext
/====----------------------------------------------------------------====
|
|
/ /====--------------------------------------------------------------====\
|
|
| | | |
|
|
| | PPP Presents.. a Bill Smith Phile.. | |
|
|
| | | |
|
|
| | P H U N W I T H U S R O B O T I C S
|
|
| |
|
|
| | | |
|
|
\ \====--------------------------------------------------------------====/ /
|
|
\====----------------------------------------------------------------====/
|
|
|
|
Compiled on December 25, 1989
|
|
|
|
|
|
BS: "I got my new USRobotics HST 14400 modem today."
|
|
OT: "How much?"
|
|
BS: "$280, plus $25 for UPS Red Label shipping."
|
|
OT: "No way! Was it used?"
|
|
BS: "No, I scammed it direct from USRobotics, brand new."
|
|
OT: "How?"
|
|
|
|
So many times I've had this this conversation. Well.. Finally, I've
|
|
decided to write a phile explaining how you, too, can benefit from the
|
|
stupidity of USRobotics.
|
|
|
|
First, make sure you have sufficient funding for the modem. If you dont
|
|
have enough for the modem of your choice (near the end of this phile, there
|
|
is a listing of current prices), develop your own ways to kick the crap out
|
|
of a UPS delivery person. (USRobotics sends all modems on either a C.O.D.,
|
|
or personal check-basis only) Note: This scam can be accomplished legally,
|
|
there is no need to set up any fake names, addresses, etc. No need to bull
|
|
USRobotics with names. OK, now that you have your money (I assume you want
|
|
the 14.4k HST, which is $280), next step is for you to call USRobotics.
|
|
The number to call is 1-800-DIAL-USR (800-342-5877), Monday-Friday, 8am-5pm
|
|
Central Std. Time (6am-3pm PST). Usually, some lady answers with something
|
|
like, "Hello, USRobotics." Let her know that your company is interested in
|
|
becoming an authorized USRobotics dealer, and you want to obtain the req'd.
|
|
forms. If she does not know what you mean, restate it and say you need the
|
|
papers to be a reseller. She will then ask for your name, your business's
|
|
name, shipping address (Use either your home or P.O. Box on this, all that
|
|
comes at this point is an envelope about 8.75" by 11.5"). I used the PO on
|
|
this one. OK, now you have this packet a few days later. The one I got had
|
|
a letter, $25 business rebate, "Seven-Minute Sales Seminar" pamphlet, a big
|
|
book on the USRobotics Courier line, this thing called "Campaign '89", and
|
|
a pretty short questionaire on your business. The letter read as follows:
|
|
|
|
Thank you for your interest in our products. We've enclosed
|
|
the information you requested, along with an overview of our
|
|
entire modem line, one of the broadest in the industry...
|
|
Please contact the distributor nearest you to arrange for
|
|
furthur information or a product evaluation. They can also
|
|
help you with any other USRobotics products you find
|
|
interesting. Should you have any difficulty contacting a
|
|
reseller, please let us know, toll free at 800/DIAL USR
|
|
(342-5877), in Illinois dial 312/982-5001, as soon as
|
|
possible.
|
|
|
|
(BS Note: All of USRobotics' 312 NPAs were recently changed to 708.) Next
|
|
step is to mail the form back to USRobotics. A few days later, call them &
|
|
ask if your paper has been received yet. Once it has, they should send you
|
|
back another envelope the same dimensions as the first, this time, stating
|
|
how you have been made "...an official USR Authorized Dealer." Ooooo Boy..
|
|
They continue to state what you are now entitled to, which is along these
|
|
lines--direct sales referrals, access to closing deals to Fortune 1000 co.,
|
|
access to the dealer hotline (800-292-2988 U.S, and 800-553-3560 Canada) to
|
|
receive product literature, and continuous updates regarding new USRobotics
|
|
products and enhancements "...before your customers do..."
|
|
|
|
They send you a copy of the current "Courier" newsletter which has the gold
|
|
you need...the "Authorized Dealer Demo Program" coupon! (OK, the issue that
|
|
they sent me was Volume 2, Number 3, and the coupon was blue. If yours has
|
|
no order form, get ahold of me on a PPP system and I can either fax or mail
|
|
you a copy of one.. USRobotics cares little what the coupon looks like, the
|
|
one I sent them was a copy of my original (so I can order another one later
|
|
as they restrict you to "two modems per location." What that means is, you
|
|
can get up to two modems with these metal plates near the rear of them that
|
|
state, "For demonstration purposes only .. Not for resale." And no, it wont
|
|
just come off without shreading the case. (You can try to be a distributor
|
|
for a month and order a bunch of cases, but it is much easier to live with
|
|
the little plaque.)
|
|
|
|
OK.. Now, once you have this form, make a copy of it if you want to ever do
|
|
this again (assuming you are ordering one now). At the top, it lists:
|
|
|
|
Company Name: (Enter the one listed on the letter of acceptance)
|
|
Shipping Address: (Enter your HOME, the box will NOT fit in a PO Box)
|
|
City: State/Province: Zip/Postal Code:
|
|
Phone Number: (Put your real one, not a BBS)
|
|
|
|
Near the bottom, they show places for your name and title. Write your real
|
|
name, and put ", owner" or similar. Also, you have to sign it. Big deal..
|
|
Put the number of modems you want (up to two total) in the space marked as,
|
|
Quantity, and then mail it back to USR. If you have questions so far, call
|
|
USR and ask for either Jim Summers or the USR dealer programs manager.
|
|
|
|
In a couple days, call to see if your order has been received. You may have
|
|
to ask for the reseller division, I can't remember. Anyways. Ask how long
|
|
it will be until the order is shipped. If they tell you it could be up to
|
|
two weeks, ask if you can get it any sooner, & keep bugging them every day.
|
|
In the meantime, obtain a cashier's check from your local bank in the am'nt
|
|
needed (my check was for $305.00, $280 plus $25 shipping) and have the bank
|
|
make it out to USROBOTICS.
|
|
|
|
Keep this check somewhere and let your whole family know where it is, just
|
|
in case you are gone when UPS arrives (you dont really want to drive to the
|
|
UPS place, do you?).
|
|
|
|
Good luck with your ventures. Here is the list of current dealer prices:
|
|
(All are the newest revisions, non-used, and shrink-wrapped):
|
|
|
|
HST Dual Standard..................$520
|
|
HST Dual Standard/PC................520
|
|
HST 14.4............................280
|
|
HST/PC 14.4 (internal)..............280
|
|
v.32................................520
|
|
v.32/PC (internal)..................520
|
|
HST/ix (HST 14.4 w/UNIX software)...430
|
|
2400e...............................130
|
|
2400/PS w/MNP.......................120
|
|
2400/PS w/MNP & software............160
|
|
2400/PC.............................150
|
|
2400/PC w/software..................180
|
|
|
|
Shipping:
|
|
UPS ground.........................$13
|
|
UPS blue (2nd day air)..............18
|
|
UPS red (next day air)..............25
|
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
-
|
|
XopyWRONG (X) 1989 Bill Smith and the PPP/NPA 619 Check out these boards:
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
-
|
|
|
|
CAD #1 - Insidious Infusion...........24mnp..HAX HQs...Doctor Dissector
|
|
CAD #2 - Internal Stack III...........2400...HAX/vms...Dark Helmet
|
|
CAD #3 - The Fourth Dimension.........2400...HAX/vms...Tak/Scan (Amiga)
|
|
CAD #5 - Electric Dreams Underground..14400..HAX beta..Bill Smith
|
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
-
|
|
And like dd says... "thy freeways are thy friends..."
|
|
|
|
|