textfiles/anarchy/MISCHIEF/funducky.hum

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% How to annoy the Shell Answer %
% DUCK! %
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% Written by his best friends %
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Everyone hates the duck and they would like to seek revenge on without the
victim knowing who the aggressor is. Here are ways that have been proven
effective in the field of harrasing and/or annoying someone.
Call the news papers, and adverise an arctile similar to this: "You too can
make calls free through MCI, ITT, and other long distance services just by
making a local call. For more information, send a self-adressed stamped envlope
to:(fill in name and adress with zip code)" After this has appeared in the
papers, inform your local FBI agent or police officer of his ad. You can also
advertise an ad like this: "Apple //e, 128k, 2 disk drives, Amdek Color 3
Monitor, Hayes Smartmodem 1200, and much more. $750 or best offer. (phone
number)".
Another prank is to call house at all hours, and post on all boards that a new
bulletin board is opening up at his number. Get everyone you know to call him
at all times (preferably late at night. Call answering machines, and give the
persons number and tell them to call right away. Also during the day you can
look up people in the phone that have a "Mr. and Mrs." there, and the wife will
probably be home, but not the husband, so tell the wife to tell the husband to
call your victim as soon as possible and give number.
Call Taxi's, Exterminators, Pizza deliverys, Catorers, Garages, Plumers, Dog
Funeral Homes, Flower and Ballon deliverys, Moving Services, Singing and
Striptease telegrams, Junkyards to remove garbage, report robberies and fires at
his/her house, Locksmiths, order oil from several companies (heating oil), order
family portraits taken at their home, sign him/her up for the army, call
realtors to put house for sale, Septic cleaners, house remodelers, call Bell +
tell you are having with phone, call cable company, and call phone sex lines
that call back and give his number to call back. Order plane tickets, send
brochures of all shit like colleges, beauty schools, and all other o, throw eggs
at house and cars, piss on cars and is gas tank of cars. Get 300 sheets+ of
paper and put in a paper shreader and after it is in 1" by 1" pieces, throw all
over his lawn in various places. Another fun thing is to bring along a baseball
bat and knock the shit out of his mailbox. Send mail with not enough postage to
them, and wrap up bricks and rocks and put no return adress on them and drop in
a mailbox.
Get a library card out in his name, and take out books and don't return them.
Lay tacks on either side of tires of his car so either way he will run over
them. Take weed killer, and pour it on his flower garden or put your initials
on his front yard with it so it will show up with dead grass. You can also use
the old trick of laying dog shit on his front porch. Pour grease all over
driveway and steps, dump your garbage cans over front yard, when he puts his
garbage at the end of the driveway, dump the cans over the street so he will
have to pick it up in the morning. Smear warm tar on his car windshield, and
that shit isn't coming off. Crazy Glue or stick gum over and in his car locks,
and if he goes to school do the same to his locker. Catch fish, and let them
sit out in the sun for a day, and that night lay the fish in their front yait
dries, it is hard as rock stuck to their house. If they leave toys out, stick
skate- boards under car tires, rip heads off of dolls, pull seats out bikes, and
let air out of bike tires. You can also ride by in the car with your BB gun,
and try your target practice. Some of this has been tried, and some not, but
remember that it is best to be near them when these happen, so you can see their
faces. Never hint who you are, and warn that you are not finshed yet. The best
weapon you have is your phone, because they can't keep their phone off the hook
24 hrs. a day. If they take the phone off the hook, try back in 1/2 hour, and it
will be back on. Most of these have been proven effective, and the others will
most likely effective. We have sat here for hours thinking of every possible
method of harrasing, bothing, and annoying someone to the point of insanity.
This has been written by Black Fire with the help of Captain Cloner. We will be
writing more as soon as more ideas are tested. You will be hearing more from
us. Have fun, and remember this is only a game!
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