115 lines
4.6 KiB
Plaintext
115 lines
4.6 KiB
Plaintext
How to Piss off People in Cars !!
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WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, YOU MAY H
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AVE DONE A NEAT TRICK CALLED THE
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ALASKAN ROPE TRICK. IF YOU HAVEN'T HEAR
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D OF IT THE PROCEDURE IS SIMPLE,
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REQUIRING ONLY FOUR OR MORE PEOPLE. ON
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A ROADSIDE WITHOUT STREETLIGHTS AT
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NIGHT, DIVIDE THE PEOPLE UP EVENLY INTO
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TWO GROUPS- ONE GOES TO THE OTHER
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SIDE OF THE STREET ACROSS FROM THE FIRS
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T GROUP AND BOTH GROUPS GET IN SINGLE
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FILE LINE. A LONG BRANCH IS NECESSARY T
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O GET THE FULL POTENTIAL OUT OF THIS
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TRICK, BECAUSE THE BRANCH SERVES AS A L
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EAD TO A FALSE ROPE THAT IS SUPPOSEDLY
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EXTENDED ACROSS THE ROAD. WHEN A CAR CO
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MES IN SIGHT, BOTH GROUPS BEND DOWN
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AS TO BE PICKING THE "ROPE" UP. ON A CO
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UNT OF THREE, BOTH GROUPS PULL ON
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THEIR BRANCH, AND THE CAR WILL SOMETIME
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S GET FREAKED OUT AND HIT THE BRAKES.
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COURAGE IS NECESSARY HERE, FOR THE NOW
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ANGERED PARTY WILL JUMP OUT OF THE CAR
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AND SHOUT OBSCENITIES. YOU HAVE TWO CHO
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ICES: ONE, YOU CAN RUN LIKE A BAT OUT
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OF HELL. TWO, YOU CAN STICK IT OUT AND
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HEAR IT ALL. MY PREFERENCE IS CHOICE
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#1 BECAUSE IF ANYONE IS GOING TO GET OU
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T OF THE CAR THEY ARE USUALLY A GROUP
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OF HUGE BADASSES THAT ARE LOOKING FOR A
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FEW TO KICK. SO WHY DO IT IF IT'S
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DANGEROUS? WELL, THE THRILL OF BEING CH
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ASED HAS FASCINATED MANY, ESPECIALLY
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THOSE WHO ARE IN THE MOOD FOR TROUBLE.
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TRY IT SOMETIME!
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FOR THOSE WHO HAVE DONE THIS AL
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READY AND KNOW WHAT THE ALASKAN IS, I
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TO THE ALASKAN, EXCEPT YOU REALLY HAVE
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A ROPE ACROSS. THE CATCH IS, THE ROPE
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IS ATTACHED TO TWO GARBAGE CANS AT EITH
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ER SIDE OF THE ROPE, AND ARE VERY MUCH
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MOBILE. WHEN A CAR COMES BY, ESPECIALLY
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ONE WHO HAS SEEN THE ALASKAN AND
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KNOWS ITS A FAKE, IT WILL HIT THE ROPE,
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SENDING BOTH CANS SPRAWLING AT THE
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DOORS, POSSIBLY DAMAGING THE CAR AND AN
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GERING THE DRIVER SEVERELY.
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THIS SAME TRICK WORKS GREAT WIT
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H SHOPPING CARTS, I HAVE DONE THIS AT
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A CONVENIENT SHOPPING CENTER WITH A BAC
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K THRU STREET BEHIND IT OFTEN USED
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ON SATURDAY NIGHTS. THE CARTS ARE ALIGN
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ED IN SUCH A WAY SO AS TO ROLL AND
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SMACK THEMSELVES INTO THE CAR. NOW, YOU
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'RE SAYING THAT NO CAR IN THE RIGHT
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MIND WOULD TRY TO RUN THROUGH THE ROPE.
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SOMETIMES, YES, BUT THE OTHER TIMES,
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THEY STILL HAVE TO STOP, DONT THEY? A C
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ONVENIENT HILL ABOVE THIS THRU STREET
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MAKES FOR THE PERFECT LOOKOUT. ONLY NOW
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THE LOOKOUT BECOMES A BATTLEMENT.
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SEVERAL CRABAPPLE TREES LIE IN THE VICI
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NITY, AND ACCOUNT FOR NUMEROUS ATTACKS
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ON DRIVERS GETTING OUT OF THEIR CARS TO
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MOVE THE CARTS (OR GARBAGE CANS,
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WHICHEVER). IF YOU HIT THE CARS, OR DRI
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VERS, BE READY FOR AN EXCITING CHASE.
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NOW, WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY H
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IT A COP CAR? EASY. PREVENT THIS BY
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KEEPING A LOOKOUT FOR THE HEADLIGHTS. C
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OP CARS USUALLY HAVE DOUBLE HEADLIGHTS
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SO BE EXTRA CAREFUL IN DECIDING WHO TO
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ATTACK. A GOOD IDEA IS TO HAVE SOME
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FORM OF COVER IN CASE YOU ARE CHASED (T
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HE HILL ABOVE THE THRU STREET HAS A
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FENCE RUNNING ALONG IT, PROVIDING SUFFI
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CIENT COVER TO HIDE UNTIL THE GUY
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GETS OUT OF HIS CAR).
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WELL, THAT ABOUT WRAPS IT UP FO
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R NOW, IF YOU CAN THINK OF SOME MORE
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NASTY THINGS TO PULL ON CARS, WRITE A
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FILE!!! DO IT!!
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**********************************************
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* OTHER NEET THINGS TO CARS *
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* By, *
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* Cpt Harlock *
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* For the phringe Philes sections *
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* 965-3677 *
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* *
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**********************************************
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[1]. Take some brake fluid and a baster(a thing that sucks up juce)
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that you dont want any more and you fill it up with brade fluid
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you go up to your favorite cay and you write FUCK YOU all over it
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and the next day your friend goes to get into the car he eill notice
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that the paint will all be bubbled up and there is nothing he can do
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because the brake fluid sokes into the pores of the metel and if he
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tryes to paint over it it will still bubble up. the onely things that
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he could do is get a asid treatment to the metel or replace the part.
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[2]. Take a nice big hand full of vasiline and smear a little on the
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windsheild and spread it to all the other windows on the car
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the next morning he will see a pile of shit on the windows an the
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first thing he will do is try to wipe it off. BIG MASTAKE !!!!!!
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[ he will smear it even more and vasiline is practically impossible
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to get off curved glass ].
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