130 lines
7.2 KiB
Plaintext
130 lines
7.2 KiB
Plaintext
In this phile we will deal with fewer pranks than in previous philes, but
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they will be more complicated and will require more detailed instructions.
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A NIFTY WAY TO CONFUSE THE HELL OUT OF SOMEONE:
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Record your enemy's favorite radio station for a few hours. Then, one day,
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while he is listening to it, attach the output of a tape recorder to the mike
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input of a FM wireless bug (or AM if you recorded an AM station). Plans for
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these devices can be found in excellent text files elsewhere. Anyways, get well
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within the bug's transmission range of the victim's house. Place the recording
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you made into the tape deck, and (with the bug hooked up) leave it running in
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a bush or something near the geek's house, for a few hours. When they announce
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the time, or put on a show that is scheduled for a different time than when
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the tape is playing, the sucker will wonder what the hell is going on!!!
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CAVEATS: If the guy's radio is hooked up to cablevision then it will not work,
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unless you are brazen enough to climb up the guy's wall and attach the
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RF output of the bug to his cable line.
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And, for chrissakes, don't do this if it's raining or some retarded
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time like that when your equipment is likely to get totalled by the
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elements!
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Also, ya gotta make sure that the bug is WELL within range of his
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receiving antenna, or that you use a powerful bug, coz if he hears
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his station and your bug goin' at once, he will get suspicious.
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HOW TO FREAK OUT KIDS AND THEIR PARENTS:
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You know how sometimes kids will hang a rope from a tree and tie knots
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or a tire into it, to swing on? Well, if they do this in a park, or in their
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front yard (if they live on a street that is REALLY dark at night), or ANYWHERE
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that you can get access to it without being seen, you can pull this very simple
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gag: Take a *SHARP* knife with you, and cut off any tires, or other things
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that may be dangling from the rope. Make sure to leave as much rope as
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possible. Now, untie any knots that may be in the rope, and straighten the rope
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out nice. Now, there should just be a plain rope dangling from a tree.
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Tie a noose into it.
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If you want you can "hang" a doll, or a neighbour's cat or something from it.
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I find just a plain noose to be suitably enigmatic and terror-striking,
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though.
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Make sure the noose is at JUST the right height to hang someone from, too, the
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added realism will only enhance the effect!
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SLASHED GARBAGE BAGS REVISITED:
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In another phile by another sadist, it was suggested that you should
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slash the bottoms of any garbage bags you may find on the curb of a given
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street. Well, if the bags are sitting on concrete or pavement, then you can do
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a few other nifty things too. Like Epoxy the bags to the ground. This has the
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effect of the bags getting ripped to shit as soon as someone tries to pick the
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bag up with any force (which the average Joe Garbageman will do). Also, you
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could Krazy Glue a whole bunch of garbage bags together, so when one is picked
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up, all the others (try to) follow!
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Another potentially hilarious idea is to include a few bags of your own with
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your victim's garbage. I am sure that you can think of some suitably
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embarrassing items to have fall out of a slashed garbage bag...
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VANDALIZING BANK MACHINES:
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If you ever get ripped off by a bank machine, there are many ways in which
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you can exact INSTANT revenge upon that financial institution:
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First, make sure the machine you are about to toast is not being watched by
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video cameras. If it is, go to another machine of the same bank that isn't.
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Now, do the following:
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- If the supply of deposit envelopes is out in public view, take them
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all and dump them in the nearest trash can (not the one next to the
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machine, though...)
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- If the machine has typewriter-style buttons in its keypad, sand
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off the painted-on numbers and other figures. If it is a membrane
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keyboard (like a Merlin game or Timex 1000 micro) then take an X-acto
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knife and cut out the top layer of the keypad's membrane, with the
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numbers on them. Throw these in the garbage. Now there is no telling
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which key does what!
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- Spraypaint BLACK over the CRT or plasma monitor.
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- Krazy Glue the money-output door and the deposit-input slot door
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SHUT. Not only will this prevent further transactions, but it will
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almost surely cause machanical breakdowns as the innards of the
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machine try to strain against the Krazy Glue (2000 lbs per square
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inch!!!)
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- If you ever get a hold of a "lost" bank machine card and figure out
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its password (don't ask me how), then DON'T stop at merely
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withdrawing the entire account. Most bank machine systems are stupid:
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The Royal Bank, f'rinstance, will instantly credit your account as
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you make a deposit, and you can access these phunds! It has no idea
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what is really (or not) inside the envelope you deposit. So, you
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"deposit" whatever the daily deposit limit is, and then you can
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promptly CASH WITHDRAW the daily withdrawal limit! This gets the
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cardholder in a lot of trouble if he has not yet reported the card
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lost! (if he has it won't work)
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NUKE THE PROTESTORS!!!
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There are many ways in which you can put these self-righteous cunts in
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their place!
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- Have custom bumper stickers made up reading "I am a Commie Pinko Rat",
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and place these squarely on the rear bumpers of the cars of known
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pinkoes.
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- Break up a "peace march" with spray-cans of "fart spray" or other
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similarly foul-smelling stuff. Or, alternatively, you can use smoke
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bombs or tear gas like Real riot squads! (EXCELLENT philes abound on
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the home manufacture of these substances)
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- Go to a demonstration, and, wearing a ski mask so no-one recognizes you,
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proudly wave the Soviet flag. The news media eat this sort of thing
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for breakfast!
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- Send in a subscription card from Hustler magazine with the name and
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address of your favorite porno-store bomber! Make sure to indicate "Bill
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Me." on the card!
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- Send bomb threats to Women Against Pornography, Pro-life, Pro-choice,
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Disarmament types, the Communist Party, etcetera. This is also good to
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to with the 800 numbers of live bible-bangers shows. I once phoned up
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one of these and promptly told them to fuck off, and hung up (they had
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just announced that my favorite rock band was possessed by Satan).
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- If you are mad enough to B&E the office of a protest group, have a
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field day! Steal anything of value or just throw it in the river. If you
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see any important-looking papers, steal these and burn 'em later. Or
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better yet, carefully MODIFY them, and thereby sabotage the entire
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operations of that group. This is also great for small businesses too,
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but they are more likely to have some sort of burglar alarm.
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Well, that's yet another phile of sadistic pleasure for now. Watch for
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MORE KRAZY GLUE TRICKS coming soon in PRANKS 7!!
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