122 lines
6.4 KiB
Plaintext
122 lines
6.4 KiB
Plaintext
SCHOOL PHUN: VOLUME TWO
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NOTE: the previous file, school phun, was primarily composed by The Locksmith,
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and so, unlike this one, is not a part of my ongoing Pranks series. However,
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this is the first Pranks file for which I recruited help. Now, enough bullshit,
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on with the file.
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- Are you tired of hearing your principal's poofy-sounding faggot voice on the
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loudspeaker every morning? Well, here is the solution: Cut the wire running
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down the wall to the speaker. You will usually have to stand on something to
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reach it. Use an X-acto knife, so the cut will not be noticeable and the
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custodian will spend forever looking for a short or something.
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- To get a NIFTY little magnifying glass, just rip off the lens of a projector
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in your school. You will have to unscrew it from a tubular casing which you
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should put back when you are done, but keep the lens and wait for the next
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film show - they do not normally check to see if the thing is there before
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they show it, because teachers are stupid.
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- In a previous file I suggested you Krazy Glue a barbell to its bench or
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rack. Now, I want you to Krazy Glue all the pulleys and tracks, etc. of all
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the machines in your school's weight room stuck. Leave some in the lifted
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position so if they come around with Solvent, as soon as the Krazy Glue cannot
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hold the weight up any longer,
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******** K R A A A A A S H ! ! ! ********
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- In a previous file I suggested you load up a hi-res porno graphics screen
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into a store's computer on display. You were to write a program that waited
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awhile so you could get out, and then it would display the screen. This also
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works at school, but there it is better: you can do it on ALL the machines that
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are not in use, and it gets your fellow students howling their heads off and
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the teacher(s) REALLY pissed!
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- Another variation on that trick is to erase all that stupid Word Processing
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or Logo software, and replace it with a "slideshow" program that shows a
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diskfull of hi-res, hard-core porno graphics. This is good to do after school
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if the teacher goes out to the office or to the back room to screw Ms. Slutsky,
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coz all the other students will get a good laugh out of it before anything is
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done. Make sure you are alone or that there are no narks in the room before you
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actually do this, though.
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- A quicker way to fry a keyboard than banging the keys, is to RANDOMLY pour
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Krazy Glue in between 'em, so that the Krazy Glue sticks the keys so they
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can't be pressed. New Keyboard Time!
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- Another neat way to fry school computers: Get a dead disk. Take the disk part
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out of the jacket, throw it away. Cut a five-inch circle of 220-grit sandpaper
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or emery cloth so that it has the same shape as a floppy disk's disk. Place
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this in the jacket of the dead disk, and put it in a drive, and boot up!
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No more read/write head in about 5 secs.
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If you cannot find 220 grit or finer paper, it may not turn inside the jacket,
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so just cut the thing out and put it in the drive as-is. Coarser grit will
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fuck the head quicker.
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Also, if you do use a jacket, do not do the trick yourself: Put a label on the
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jacket and put the "death disk" in a sleeve and leave it by a school machine.
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The next guy to come along will put the disk in out of curiosity and fry the
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head. Put the name of someone you hate on the label, so they get blamed.
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- One thing that some people at my school loved to do was wait until some
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asshole's metal shop project was nearly done, and then on a day when the
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asshole was not in school, they would turn on the forge and throw the project
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into tne fire, only to be melted down.
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Another popular metal-shop prank was to grind projects or critical project
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parts down to POWDER.
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Still another was to pour water on the projects of enemies, and then take
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a welding torch to it, not hot enough to melt or even glow, you understand, but
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just so the project would get a nice thick healthy coating of RUST.
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- Just before the teacher that gave you an F comes into the room, place several
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drops of Krazy Glue on his seat. Do this to narks, sucks, and other goofs, too.
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- Use techniques described in other files to open the lockers of other
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students. Have fun randomly switching lo ks and locker contents. Steal a few
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valuables and throw away/rip up/burn a few textbooks too.
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- Leave a note in your least favorite teacher's slot at the office, telling
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him what a dick he is. Use as many 4-letter words as possible, and make it
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sound a bit like a blackmail note, but do not mention any specifics or he may
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figure you out. Do this daily, but make sure you are not noticed. Do not
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leave hand-written notes.
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- Roll up a few Penthouse centerfolds with those big roll-up maps. Do this to
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projection screens, too.
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- Go to a dance at school. Armed only with a few tubes of Krazy Glue,
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strategically place drops of Krazy Glue on the gym floor so milling dancers
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get their shoes stuck to the floor. Also Krazy Glue canned music equipment to
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the stage, to itself, to its operator(s), etc. The Music Company will never
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want to do your school again, but you never liked that top-40, prep horse-shit
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they played anyhow.
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- The one thing I have seen that gets the most reaction at school is to puke
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in the cafeteria. The food always sucks there, but it's usually not bad enough
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to make you puke, so do this:
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Outside the cafeteria, you and a friend (it's more convincing when 2 do it at
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once) eat SO MUCH LUNCH that you are both about to ralph. Now, go into the
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cafeteria and order a lot of food, and eat it until you throw up. You will
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honestly be able to say it was the food, and may get the rest of the day off!
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You will also make everyone in the cafeteria swear never to eat there again.
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- Write "for a good time call.." on the can wall, and include your principal's
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phone number.
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- Running out of paper for your printer? Don't pay department store prices; rip
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off a few inches (thick) from the computer room!
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- In the can throw all the paper towels into the garbage, along with the soap.
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Try to flush all the toilet paper down the toilet. You won't be able to; it
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will back up the toilet and water and shit will spill all over the floor. It is
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best to take a BIG shit in the toilet first.
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- Do not flush the toilet when you shit.
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- Krazy Glue the door of the school bus(es) shut. Do other car tricks and
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Krazy Glue tricks to it as well.
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Well, that looks like another file for now. Stay tuned for PRANKS 6!
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