109 lines
6.4 KiB
Plaintext
109 lines
6.4 KiB
Plaintext
WARNING: This file is NOT for entertainment purposes. If I catch you reading
|
|
this file without using ANY of its info in life, I will pull a few
|
|
of them on YOU, so you will realize how much the can fuck somebody
|
|
up.
|
|
|
|
More Mayhem:
|
|
|
|
- Take the hinge pins out of a door at your school. Shut the door. Next time
|
|
someone goes to open it, FOOM! Down it goes.
|
|
- In your science lab, shut a door and set the dome of a Van de Graaf
|
|
generator against the doorknob. Turn it on and leave. Next sucker to use
|
|
that door get the ZAP of his fuckin' lifetime.
|
|
- Take a picture of your favorite goof. get a cheap black&white 8x10 blowup
|
|
made, and photocopy it. On the copy, under the picture, write GOOF in big
|
|
letters. Make 200 copies, and post them everywhere (best to get them
|
|
printed by a printing company if you make a whole shitload of copies).
|
|
Next time dickhead looks at a school bulletin board, his hair will stand
|
|
on end.
|
|
- Dump a vanload of garbage on your enemy's front lawn.
|
|
- Put a few dead fish in a school locker, and lock it. If the locker has
|
|
vents (and they all do!) then in a few days that entire WING of the school
|
|
will just fuckin' REEK!
|
|
- Spray "fart spray" (from your local trick & joke shop) EVERYWHERE.
|
|
- When you go on a date with a really ugly bitch (on a dare or whatever)
|
|
make sure to eat two dozen BRAN MUFFINS beforehand. Your farting will make
|
|
the ugly wench run for the hills!
|
|
- Better yet, do the farting thing whenever you are forced to go to church.
|
|
- You know that temporary spray paint kids put in their hair at Halloween?
|
|
Paint your neighbors' cat or dog with that stuff. I strongly recommend
|
|
flourescent pink, orange, and green.
|
|
- If you REALLY hate your neighbor or his pet, spray the animal with
|
|
PERMANENT paint. Same colours.
|
|
- Or, keep your neighbors' pet's hairstyle in fashion. Give his pet a Mohawk.
|
|
- If you work in an arcade and you think you may be fired soon, a good
|
|
way to get back is to paint contact explosive inside the coin drops of all
|
|
the machines.
|
|
- A variation of this technique for those who don't work in arcades is to
|
|
cover your quarters with contact explosive before inserting them in the
|
|
slot. As long as you don't play for more than 5 minutes or so you are
|
|
pretty much assured that it can't go off while you are playing, but once
|
|
it dries.......
|
|
- Put a few drops of Krazy Glue on the winding knob of your enemy's analog
|
|
watch. If he has a digital, seal the buttons and the back panel with Krazy
|
|
Glue.
|
|
- Break into that asshole's locker. Steal all his valuables and B U R N
|
|
his texts, notes, and library books. He will get in SO much shit.........
|
|
- You all saw MASH the movie. You know then about how Hot Lips and Maj.
|
|
Burns were caught going at it in her tent by a mike which broadcast the
|
|
event to the whole camp...Do that to someone you suspect is a fag. Only
|
|
broadcast it so everyone in TOWN can hear it.
|
|
- Your enemy's car carries too much dead weight in the form of batteries.
|
|
Replace that big unsightly battery with a 9 volt. This way only his radio
|
|
will work.
|
|
- Pour CONCENTRATED Hydrochloric acid all over your enemy's bike's chain,
|
|
derailleurs, etcetera. If, the next day, he still rides it, repeat until
|
|
the acid has turned the bike to DUST.
|
|
- Strip his expensive Cinelli of all those confusing hi-tech parts and
|
|
replace them with simple, economical parts from Canadian Tire or K Mart.
|
|
- Find a liquid high-explosive that does not react with water or gasoline.
|
|
Pour it into his Yamaha's tank. (NOTE If I catch anyone doin' this to a
|
|
Harley I will take great pleasure in slowly killing them)
|
|
- Paint a penis and balls onto the side of his car.
|
|
- Load the back of his truck with horse manure and cowpies.
|
|
- Raise locusts. Once you have about a hundred thousand or so of them, set
|
|
them free in your enemy's garden.
|
|
- Plant marijuana in your enemy's garden (but not at the same time that you
|
|
do the locust trick). Go to nearest pay-phone, and dutifully report him.
|
|
Make sure you remain anonymous.
|
|
- Rip off an outboard motor. Fasten it to a sharpened telephone pole and
|
|
aim it in the general direction of the milling boats at the yacht club.
|
|
(This prank came from National Lampoon magazine, July 1981. And it works.)
|
|
- Unplug the speakers of your school's Apples. All of them.
|
|
- Write your enemy's phone number on every men's room wall you see.
|
|
- Write to your local AIDS society, asking about ways to tell if you have
|
|
AIDS. Include a stamped envelope with your enemy's name and address on it.
|
|
- Take all the toilet paper in the men's room home with you. Get your
|
|
girlfriend to do the same to the ladies' room.
|
|
- Have your autodialer dial your enemy, for a few hours.
|
|
- Your enemy isn't going ANYWHERE.... If you have removed his car's wheels
|
|
and replaced them with wooden blocks. Leave him a note telling how much
|
|
stress you are saving him by not letting him go to work.
|
|
- Give your enemy's kid a whole bag of hard candies. When he gets home and
|
|
tells your enemy (his parents) all about that neat stranger that gave him
|
|
a whole bag of candy, your enemy will FREAK.
|
|
- Did you know that some people still freak out when you throw a foam rubber
|
|
brick at a window or TV screen? Get one at your local trick and joke shop
|
|
and get ready for a whole lotta laughs.
|
|
- Those emergency stop buttons on escalators really work! Try it sometime.
|
|
- Get your enemy drunk and give him a Mohawk while he is passed out.
|
|
- Put up a FOR SALE sign in front of your enemy's house. Or put one on his
|
|
car.
|
|
- People still fall for thumbtacks on chairs. Give that one a try too.
|
|
- Get a HARD CORE porno hi-res graphic on disk for a comodore. Take this
|
|
disk to a Zellers or Kmart or other big store that sells c0modores. Do
|
|
this during a big rush so the salesmen don't bug you. Load up the graphic,
|
|
but don't display it. Write a short BASIC program to display a text screen
|
|
or something for a few minutes or so, to give you time to GET OUT. After a
|
|
few minutes, the store's display machine should then go into graphic mode
|
|
and VOILA! Hi-res porno before a crowd of shocked shoppers and embarrased
|
|
salesmen.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Well, I hoped you liked these pranks too. Try to use as many of them as
|
|
possible and you will have the biggest grin on your block. That's all for
|
|
now. Watch for PRANKS III coming soonerthan soon.
|
|
|
|
T H E F I X E R
|
|
|