71 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
71 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
_______________________________________________________________________________
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_ _ _ _
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((___)) ((___))
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[ x x ] cDc communications [ x x ]
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\ / presents... \ /
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(` ') (` ')
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(U) (U)
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The infamous... GERBIL FEED BOMB
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Striking fear into the hearts of model citizens everywhere...
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by Swamp Rat
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>>> A CULT Publication......1985 <<<
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-cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
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_______________________________________________________________________________
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Grudge against society? Seeking mass destruction & bloodshed? Look no
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further... Follow these simple directions for nihilism absolute...
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1. Get some Gerbil Feed, or some other type of small rodent food, available at
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most any pet store.
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2. Mash up the food pellets into a fine powder (about the consistancy of
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beach sand). The best way to do this is to put the pellets in a bag, and
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then beat the hell out of those bitches (pretend like they're Nancy Reagan
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for more fun!) with a hammer. If you live near a major highway, you can
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just scatter them around, and then come by later with a shovel.
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3. Put this powder into a jar (Jiff Peanut Butter jars work best, but Peter
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Pan will do just fine). Get some model glue, the kind in tubes, and squirt
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out a bunch of it into your hand. Spread it out evenly over all your
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fingers, and then stick your hands into the jar. Move your hands around
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a lot in the jar so that the glue is well mixed with the powder.
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Go into a spasm, this should shake all the glue off your hands.
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4. Fill the rest of the jar up with gasoline(available at most any gas
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station.)
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5. Put a long fuse into it. If you're brave (and a bit stupid), you can just
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drop a match into it.
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6. Light the fuse if you put one in. If you dropped a match into it, then
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go to the nearest phone, dial "911" and tell the nice people that you have
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a large number of glass shards embedded in your lower body. An ambulance
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should be there soon.
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7. If you do not have glass shards in your body yet, just run VERY, VERY
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fast, scream "incoming!" at the top of your lungs, and then "hit the dirt!"
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This should attract all the neighbor's attention, so they too will get to
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witness this spectacular event.
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8. There! You've done it! When the police car comes to your house, tell
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the nice police officers that a K.G.B. agent leaped out of a tree, and
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threw a hand grenade at you. Of course they will be kind and understanding
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being their job to "protect and serve." The police are your friends!
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9. Repeat for everything you want to slice, dice, chop, or mutilate.
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Or just plain destroy, it doesn't really matter.
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Be sure to have a spare change of clothes handy...
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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(c)1985 cDc communications by Swamp Rat 0/0/85-01
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All Rights Worth Shit
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Downloaded From P-80 International Information Systems 304-744-2253
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