124 lines
6.0 KiB
Plaintext
124 lines
6.0 KiB
Plaintext
ROBBING BANKS
|
|
|
|
and now...The Daredevil of Anarchy Inc. somewhat proudly presents:
|
|
|
|
HOW TO ROB A BANK -=- A How-To TextFile (c) 1984 Anarchy Inc.
|
|
--- -- --- - ---- Uploaded by: The Yakuza
|
|
Nabbed by: The Mayor
|
|
|
|
Well, now. You say that you want to go and rob a bank, eh? You say that
|
|
you need easy money, eh? This entertaining little text file will give you
|
|
information and tips about how to easily rob a bank, and get away with it.
|
|
|
|
First off, you'll need a bank(obviously). Well, I would suggest something
|
|
famous, like Wells Fargo, or Bank of the West. At least you're certain
|
|
you'll get in the newspaper. For about four weeks, stake out the place,
|
|
without attracting attention to yourself. In other words, don't open an
|
|
account there.
|
|
|
|
Next, you'll need a gun. I would hardly recommend a small pistol, or a
|
|
shotgun. Machine guns and armed missiles are not recommended, as they
|
|
usually end up making up quite a mess. (Remember, if you ARE caught, you
|
|
don't want a vandlism count, do you?)
|
|
|
|
Finally, before you begin, you'll need a partner. Choose somebody you
|
|
know well, but not too well. If worst comes to worst, you might have to
|
|
shoot him, take him for hostage, or turn him in. Pick somebody dull-
|
|
witted, like Little Al, or Matt Ackeret.
|
|
(In other words, somebody you
|
|
won't miss too much.)
|
|
|
|
Now, you're ready to get started. But you'll need a "get-away" car...I
|
|
recommend a Buick, or a van. VW's and Mack Trucks just won't do. Get
|
|
something with a lot of pickup, like BSBAL the Wise's station "the boat"
|
|
wagon. You might want to remove the lincense plate numbers, so the police
|
|
won't have any information about you and your party.
|
|
|
|
What? Did I say the word "police"? Well, I'm not talking about Sting and
|
|
friends. I'm talking "The Blue Knight"/"Dirty Harry" type buggers. They
|
|
can get nasty, with those little guns, and nightsticks. They can be rude
|
|
too.
|
|
|
|
Inside the bank, you'll have to rob it quick, as people tend to scream
|
|
when others with Ski Masks enter...I would also recommend dressing all in
|
|
black. There will be security cameras there...Nasty things. Get rid of
|
|
them. Also, there might be a security guard or two in there. I would
|
|
suggest shooting them, as they make lousy hostages, and make sure you kill
|
|
them. Remember, if you can't stand the sight of blood all over the neat
|
|
little carpets they keep, don't bother robbing banks. Stick to something
|
|
like Credit Card fraud, or fone phreaking.
|
|
|
|
Now, when you first enter the bank, there will be some fool shouting "Oh
|
|
my God! Oh my God!" all over the place. Reply with some snappy phrase
|
|
like:"He can't help you now..." and then shoot him/her. They were giving
|
|
you a headache, wern't they?
|
|
|
|
While standing there with gun in hand, make it very clear to people that
|
|
you will shoot them. You WILL, won't you? Demonstrate this fact by
|
|
shooting several innocent by-standers, and potted plants. You might even
|
|
take out a desk while you're at it. Don't you love this feeling of power?
|
|
|
|
Money. That's what you're here for, right? Well, if you arn't, you've
|
|
just blown away several people and a plant for nothing. You might as well
|
|
just leave the place. Money is obviously kept in drawers, where tellers
|
|
can make change and such. That's what you're after. Go to the farthest
|
|
teller from the door. That's where they place all "Tellers in
|
|
training"...They're usually pushovers...
|
|
|
|
Another problem comes to mind. Bait money. What the f--- is bait money,
|
|
you might ask? Well, when the stupid teller hands you all the money from
|
|
the drawers, one of the little slots that the money is in, trips a silent
|
|
alarm. Not fun. Well, the only thing it I would suggest is to pick and
|
|
choose. Good luck, as you really can't tell when a silent alarm goes off.
|
|
|
|
Next problem. Let's get the hell out of this place, shall we? Okay, let's
|
|
go! I would suggest running like hell to the outside, and once in the
|
|
car, finding the car's speed limit in the parking lot. Look out for speed
|
|
bumps...
|
|
|
|
You're off! You've made it! Now, you are onto the road of becoming a
|
|
hardened criminal! Congratulations...Wait...What's that? You're reading
|
|
this in prison? Gosh, I forgot to tell you about those cruel policemen,
|
|
and the OTHER security guards. Oops. Oh well, enjoy the prison life...
|
|
|
|
...This text file was not written from personal experience
|
|
...The Daredevil, Anarchy Inc., and all members within, are not in any way
|
|
responsible for actions that people might take against banks and such. We
|
|
do not supply lawyers, or post bail. If you were jailed because of this
|
|
text file, well, that's your problem, not ours.
|
|
|
|
...Friendly tip of the day: Try practicing on 7-11's and Burger King
|
|
before moving up to banks. It gets you psyched up for your job. We do
|
|
not recommend taking hostages, because I might be at a bank someday, when
|
|
some idiot runs in with a shotgun and...
|
|
|
|
(c) 1984 Anarchy Inc. All rights reserved. Have a nice day!
|
|
|
|
(I hear the food's pretty good in prison...Good luck keeping an even number
|
|
of fingers...)8/353-1553
|
|
|
|
Downloaded from Just Say Yes. 2 lines, More than 500 files online!
|
|
Full access on first call. 415-922-2008 CASFA
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Another file downloaded from:
|
|
|
|
!
|
|
-$- & the Temple of the Screaming Electron
|
|
! * Walnut Creek, CA
|
|
+ /^ |
|
|
! | |//^ _^_ 2400/1200/300 baud (415) 935-5845
|
|
/^ / @ | /_-_ Jeff Hunter, Sysop
|
|
|@ _| @ @|- - -|
|
|
| | | /^ | _ | - - - - - - - - - *
|
|
|___/____|_|_|_(_)_| Aaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! /
|
|
|
|
Specializing in conversations, E-Mail, obscure information,
|
|
entertainment, the arts, politics, futurism, thoughtful discussion,
|
|
insane speculation, and wild rumours. An ALL-TEXT BBS.
|
|
|
|
"Raw data for raw minds."
|
|
|