163 lines
9.0 KiB
Plaintext
163 lines
9.0 KiB
Plaintext
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/ | The United Ignorance Front |
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| | presents |
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| | FAX MACHINE FUN |
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| | written by: The Iocat |
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| |-------------------------------|
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| | this article originally |
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| | appeard in |
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| | THE UNDERGROUND EXPRESS |
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| |"the official voice of the UIF"|
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| |-------------------------------|
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| |this article is (c) 1989 by the|
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| |UIF. All rights reserved. This|
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| |file may be distributed un-|
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| |altered exclusivly in the modem|
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| |community. (if you feel a dire|
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| |need to put your BBS's # on it|
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| |do it at the end) |
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| |_______________________________|
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| / /
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|/_______________________________/
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INTRO-
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In the late 80's we have seen a massive explosion in the popularity
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of fax machines. Everyone has one. They are cheap, easy to use,
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and very usefull. Up untill now, however, they have been almost
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exclusivly in the province of the buisness world. Just for those
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of you who have been in comas for the last few years, I'll explain
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fax machines to you. Fax machines are combination
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scanners/modems/printers. You can transmit the contents of a
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piece of paper to another fax over the phone lines. Usually,
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your fax also prints the number you called from on the first
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sheet of the transmittal. It is easy to see why buisnesses like
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these. No longer content with Federal Express, now letters can
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go cross country in minutes. Faxes have about 200-250 dpi resolution,
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and print out on rolls of thermal paper. For some odd reason, most of
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them are 4800 baud.
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THE GOOD PART-
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"So what" you ask? Most people don't seem to realize the potential
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available here. When I worked at The FHLB, we used to get faxes
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all the time, with requests for checks. Occaisionaly, we also got
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short notes from the idiots at the other banks. This is what gave
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me the idea for what I call, for lack of a better term, Fax Piracy.
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Fax Piracy is the ultimate crank call. Let me give you an example.
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There was this Library I hated, and, like everyone else, they have
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a fax. So what me and a few of my freinds did was send them
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requests, "from" another Library for books. I found out later,
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from a kid who worked there that they wasted about $50, sending
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them all the books. Not much, but if you know how cheap librarians
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are, you can imagine the shit fits they had. Next, we send them a
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"Mobius Fax" we got some sheets of black construction paper, taped
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about 10 of them together, and started feeding them through the fax.
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Once the start of the long sheet we had created came through, we taped
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it to the end. This went on continuosly for about 15 minutes untill
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their (very expensive) thermal paper ran out. Since we had sent them
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nothing but black paper, it completely covered and ruined all of their
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paper. This used up their 3month paper allocation at once, and they
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had to borrow from petty cash to buy more. Finally we sent them a
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little note, telling them what idiots they were, and signing it
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"the fax pirates"
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HOW TO DO IT-
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First, and this is VERY IMPORTANT- Always remember to REPROGRAM the fax
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so it displays someone elses name and number. If you forget to do
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this, its like sending a letter bomb with a return adress. Second,
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decide what to send. This is entirely up to you (duh) , and depends
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on whether you want to annoy them, or really destroy them.*
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Wierd requests from other campies you hate, long rambling stories,
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or strange art is always good. Be a little creative. (this part is
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especially fun if you have a Mac, and access to a laserwriter)
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Third, send it. (wow, some people need to be told everything,
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don't they) What? You don't know their fax #? Its not in
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information? Its not in the phone book? Well, keep reading!
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HOW TO GET FAX PHONE NUMBERS-
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This is just way easier than it should be. Call and ask.
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I'm serious, we've done this probably over 30 times, and
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NO ONE HAS EVER QUESTIONED OUR REQUEST! I'll give you a sample
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of a call that actually happened. (this is verbatum)(we taped it)
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IBM LADY Hello, IBM, may I help you?
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ME Hi, this is Biff Fulgate from over here at Linear Data Systems
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Can I get your fax number, those boys in research need to send
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something over and they lost the number again.
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IBM LADY Please hold on a moment
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ME Sure thing. Hah, those cooks over in research would probably
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lose their heads if they wern't screwed on.
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IBM LADY Haha. Now is that the Tower 700 number?
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ME Um...let me check here... Yeah, that's it. (Tower 700? what?)
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IBM LADY Ok, hold on
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(Long wait during which I get slightly nervous)
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IBM LADY Ok That number is 313-xxx-xxxx
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ME Thanks, Bye
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Also, most ads have fax numbers. Don't fuck with little companies
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though. A) they don't need it, B) they are probably more suspicious,
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C) it hurts them more than it would hurt a big company. be a
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caring capitolist. If you need any suggestions as to who's number to
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get try the following- newspapers, radios stations, big companies,
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libraries, city & state governments, the right to life movement,
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ect.
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HINTS-
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Act like you know whats going on at all times.
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Be polite, and a little bit familiar
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Make sure you have a plausable reason for getting the number
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Don't laugh
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Let the person who sounds most 'adult-like' make the call
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Make sure you have a plausable name
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Remember, the larger the company, the less the people know and care
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about other parts of the company, so the greater chance you have of not
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getting hassled. ALSO! Don't forget to change the "number" you are
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calling from. If you want to send a Mobius Fax, usually Faxes have paper
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feed trays (we didn't know that when we did it)
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ALSO- NEVER, EVER, DO THIS TO ATT!
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HOW TO GET A FAX TO USE-
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Well, if you don't have one, try mommy's or daddy's office. Most
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Campus offices have faxes you can pretend that you are supposed
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to be using (tell them the Library sent you). Many print-shops
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(like Kinko's) have fax machines that you can use for a nominal
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fee. And, just like terminals in the early 80's, most fax
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machines are just sitting out in offices, if you dress nicely,
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and look like you know what you're doing, no one is going to
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ask questions.
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SOME NUMBERS TO CALL-
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I have a pretty good list of #'s that you can call, but I will upload
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it in a different file, at a later date.
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IF YOU LIKED THIS FILE-
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Please send a host of annoying faxes to your local
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"Right to Life" chapter.
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-----------end-----
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------
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*-- for really good info on how to really fuck up a company with mail, or
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faxes, I reccomend Keith Wade's POISON PEN LETTERS & YOUR REVENGE IS IN
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THE MAIL both available from the Loompanics Book Catalog (see my file on
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that for the adress)
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------
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if you would like a sample copy of THE UNDERGROUND EXPRESS send a S.A.S.E.
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and a buck to THE UNDERGROUND EXPRESS P.O.BOX 8171 W. BLOOMFIELD, MI 48304
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------
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the above article is fiction and any similarity between it and real
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life is purely coincidental.| yeah, right! sure! it REALLY IS!
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------
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brought to you by:
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piro's lab (305)859-8664 a.p.i. distr.site flmia
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illuminatus! (305)279-0742 flmia
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