272 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
272 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
"The Great Underground Empire: A History" by Froboz Mumbar
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Frobozz Magic Book Company
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Copied right in the year 896. All rights reversed.
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FESTERON TOWN LIBRARY
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02/06/897 09/22/918
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03/03/898 05/13/919
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09/19/900 02/21/948
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06/07/903
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01/34/917
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04/04/917
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08/32/918
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Please take care of me...
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library books belong to everyone.
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CHAPTER ONE
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The Bellicose King
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In 659 GUE*, the Kingdom of Quendor was relatively small, encompassing
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seven-and-a-half provinces on the western shore of the Great Sea, an
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agrarian land whose major products were rope and mosquito netting. It
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was the thirty-first year of the reign of Zilbo III, part of a dynasty
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dating back more than six centuries to Entharion the Wise, the first
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King of Quendor. However, that dynasty was about to end with the
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ascension of Duncanthrax to the throne of Quendor on the final day of
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659.
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Little is known about what became of Zilbo after 659. Some say he was
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killed during a palace revolt, or simply died from too much reveling
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while celebrating the upcoming New Year. There is evidence that he was
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exiled to a villa where he invented the card game Double Fanucci.
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Likewise, historians disagree about Duncanthrax's life prior to 659.
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A petition signed by palace guards in 657, asking for an increase in the
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mosquito netting allotment, bears a signature that looks suspiciously
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like "Duncanthrax." Some historians insist that Duncanthrax was general
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of the Royal Militia. One legend even suggests that Duncanthrax was a
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demon who assumed human form. Another legend describes him as a former
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rope salesman.
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Whatever his origins, Duncanthrax quickly developed a reputation for
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cruelty, bloodthirstiness and aggressiveness, thus earning himself the
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nickname "The Bellicose King." He raised a tremendous army and began a
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systematic conquest of the neighboring kingdoms. Within three years,
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Duncanthrax ruled an empire that controlled virtually all the land
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between the Great Sea and the Kovalli Desert.
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[Picture]
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An ancient villa on the outskirts of Mithicus, similar to the one where
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Zilbo may have lived in exile.
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* Adding "GUE" after a year did not become common practice until the
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latter part of the eighth century.
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Questions, Discussions, Projects and Further Readings:
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1. Would you have left a job as a rope salesman to become King of Quendor?
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List the pros and cons.
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2. Find Quendor on a modern map. Is it a large area? What natural features
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of the area would have helped Quendor to conquer all the neighboring
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lands?
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3. Do you think that Duncanthrax was a mean king for attacking other
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kingdoms? What other reasons besides meanness might he have had?
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4. Stage a mock peace conference, with one of your classmates playing
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Duncanthrax and other classmates playing the kings of the surrounding
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lands. The other kings should try to convince Duncanthrax not to
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attack them.
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5. Read _The New Year's Revolt_, by Jezbar Foolion.
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CHAPTER TWO
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An Empire Goes Underground
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In 665, the forces of Duncanthrax vanquished the Antharian Armada at the
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famous battle of Fort Griffspotter. The island-nation of Antharia was,
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at the time, the world's premier sea power, and this victory gave
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Duncanthrax undisputed control of the Great Sea and put the superb
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ship-building facilities of Antharia at his disposal. (The conquest of
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Antharia also gave Duncanthrax possession of Antharia's famed granola
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mines. Unfortunately, no one in Quendor liked granola.)
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Within months, Quendor's navy was returning from voyages with tales
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of a magical land on the distant eastern shore of the Great Sea.
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Duncanthrax was incensed that this vast land existed outside his
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dominion, and spent many nights storming the halls of his castle
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bellowing at his servants and advisors. Then, one day, he had a sudden
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inspiration: assemble a huge fleet, cross the Great Sea and conquer the
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lands on the eastern shore. Not only would he extend his empire, but
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he'd finally have a market for all that useless granola.
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As Duncanthrax's invasion swept across the new lands, he made a
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startling discovery: huge caverns and tunnels, populated by gnomes,
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trolls and other magical races, all of whom loved granola. Even as
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Duncanthrax conquered this region, his imagination was inspired by this
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natural underground formation. If these caverns and tunnels were
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possible in nature, so might they be formed by humans! Duncanthrax
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realized that by burrowing into the ground he could increase the size of
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his empire fivefold or even tenfold!
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The Frobozz Magic Construction Company (the forerunner of the modern
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industrial giant FrobozzCo International) was formed to undertake this
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project in 668. For the remaining 20 years of Duncanthrax's reign,
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cavern-building continued at a breakneck pace. The natural caverns in
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the eastern lands were expanded tremendously, and new caverns and
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passages were dug in the western lands, chiefly in the vicinity of
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Duncanthrax's castle, Egreth. By the time of his death in 688,
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Duncanthrax ruled virtually all territory in the known world, above and
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below ground.
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[Two Pictures]
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In 666, Duncanthrax's navy returned from its expedition to the eastern
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shore of the Great Sea with tales of a magical underground civilization
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(left) and giant red x's (right).
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[Three pie charts:]
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EXPENDITURES OF THREE ROYAL GOVERNMENTS
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580 GUE
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14% Military
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2% Royal Bureaucracy
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18% Construction of Roads and Bridges
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66% Other
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680 GUE
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33% Military
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8% Royal Bureaucracy
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54% Construction of Caverns
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5% Other
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780 GUE
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1% Military
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68% Royal Bureaucracy
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2% Other
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29% Construction of Dams, etc.
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These pie charts show the fiscal priorities of the Empire under
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three kings who ruled centuries apart: Bozbo IV, Duncanthrax and
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Dimwit Flathead.
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Questions, Discussions, Projects and Further Readings:
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1. What would it be like to live underground? If there are any caves
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near your home, spend a week underground to see what it's like.
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2. Read _Construction of the Empire_, by Mumboz Agrippa, _Wouldn't It
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Be Fun To Live Underground?_, by Lorissa Frob and _The Seventy Year
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Snidgel_, by Harv Dornfrob.
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CHAPTER THREE
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The Flatheads
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After Duncanthrax, the throne was occupied by a long series of his
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descendants. These were unspectacular rulers, who took on the surname
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Flathead, for obscure reasons not necessarily related to the planar
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shape of their pates. During this period, there was very little change
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in the Empire, as the conquered kingdoms were assimilated into Quendor
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and the frantic pace of tunneling gradually abated.
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In 770, nearly a century after the death of Duncanthrax, his
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great-great-grandson, Dimwit Flathead, assumed the throne. Lord Dimwit,
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as he liked to be called, was a colorful character, but was also the
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single worst ruler the Empire ever produced. His vanity was surpassed
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only by his outrageous sense of proportion. For example, his coronation
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took 13 years to plan (and therefore took place two-thirds of the way
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through his reign), lasted an additional year and a half, and cost 12
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times the Empire's GNP.
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Dimwit was the first king to call Quendor "The Great Underground
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Empire," and within a few years the new name had completely displaced
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the older one. Dimwit also renamed the Great Sea "the Flathead Ocean,"
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and seemed to prefer the newer lands on the eastern shore. He even moved
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the Empire's capital from Egreth (in the westlands) to Flatheadia (in
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the eastlands).
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While Dimwit certainly inherited Duncanthrax's ambition and
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ingratiating personality, he directed them in a somewhat less productive
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fashion. Whereas Duncanthrax used his power to expand his empire, Dimwit
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was motivated to realize his bizarre whims. Raising the kingdom's tax
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rate to just over 98%, Dimwit began a series of grandiose projects that
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soon earned him the title "Flathead the Excessive." Among these
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projects: the construction of mammoth Flood Control Dam Number Three (a
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massive edifice with virtually no useful purpose, since it never rains
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underground), the creation of the Royal Museum (to house the crown
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jewels), the defoliation of four hundred thousand acres of lush forest
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(to erect a nine-bloit-high statue of himself in the Fublio Valley) and
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the production of the enormous granola smelters of Plumbat.
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Just before his death in 789, Flathead was rumored to be planning his
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greatest dream: the creation of a new continent in the center of the
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Flathead Ocean. The outline and contours of the new continent would have
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been a gigantic reproduction of his own visage.
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IMPORTANT POLITICAL AND CULTURAL EVENTS
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Cultural Events:
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668 FrobozzCo International Incorporated
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691 1st Double Fanucci Championship
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732 Frobozz Philharmonic Founded
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777 Royal Museum Dedicated
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841 Elvis Flathead's First Concert
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Political Events:
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659 Duncanthrax Ascends Throne
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666 Underground Caverns Discovered
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668 Duncanthrax Dies
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770 Dimwit Flathead Ascends Throne
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789 Dimwit Flathead Dies
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865 Granola Riots
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883 Great Underground Empire Falls
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This time line shows the dates of some of the events that shaped
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the history of The Great Underground Empire. Cultural events are
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listed above the time line and political events are listed below.
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[Picture]
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Lord Dimwit erected a nine-bloit-high statue of himself to lend credence
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to the Royal motto, "A truly great ruler is larger than life."
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Questions, Discussions, Projects and Further Readings:
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1. How many things can you think of that are named after the
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Flatheads? Make a list.
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2. Try to collect 10 zorkmids from everyone on your block, telling
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them that the money will be used to erect a giant statue of
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yourself. Use force if necessary. See if the others on your
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block begin to resent you.
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3. Read _The Lives of the Twelve Flatheads_, by Boswell Barwell.
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CHAPTER FOUR
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Fall of the Empire
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Although Dimwit was certainly the most flagrantly indulgent ruler in the
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history of The Great Underground Empire, most of the Flatheads who
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followed him did their best to uphold the tradition of excessiveness.
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The high level of taxation continued, although the money was
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increasingly spent not on massive construction projects but on
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extravagant parties and long vacation trips for members of the Royal
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Family.
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In 883, after countless years of decadence and over-taxation, The
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Great Underground Empire collapsed, the Royal Treasury was sacked and
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everyone moved somewhere else.
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THE KINGS OF QUENDOR
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The Entharion Dynasty The Flathead Dynasty
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Entharion the Wise 0-41 Duncanthrax the Bellicose 659-688
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Mysterion the Brave 41-55 Belwit the Flat 688-701
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Zylon the Aged 55-398 Frobwit the Flatter 701-727
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Zilbo I 398-423 Timberthrax Flathead 727-738
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Bozbo I 423-429 Phloid Flathead 738-755
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Zilbo II 429-451 Mumberthrax Flathead 755-770
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Harmonious Fzort 451-477 Dimwit Flathead 770-789
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Bozbo II 477-481 Loowit Flathead 789-813
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Thaddium Fzort 481-545 Duncwit Flathead 813-843
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Mumbo I 545-569 Barbawit Flathead 843-845
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Bozbo III 569-575 Idwit Oogle Flathead 845-881
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Bozbo IV 575-619 Wurb Flathead 881-883
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Mumbo II 619-628
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Zilbo III 628-659
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This table shows the rulers of Quendor, later known as The Great
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Underground Empire, through its collapse in 883 GUE.
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Questions, Discussions, Projects and Further Readings:
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1. Collect several horses for yourself and your classmates. Ride through the
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center of your town, pillaging stores, burning homes and slaughtering young
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children and old women. Afterwards, ask people around town what it was like
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to live in a lawless state.
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2. Read _The Dark Age of Frobozz_, by Sybar Zeebin and _So You Want To Sack an
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Empire_, by Uncle Frobizzmus.
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from Interactive Fiction Archive ftp://ftp.gmd.de/if-archive/ |