98 lines
6.6 KiB
Plaintext
98 lines
6.6 KiB
Plaintext
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British Television in 1000 words.
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Tuesday, 03 September 2002 AD - Christian calendar.
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Written by inkstersco@btinternet.com in note form.
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Best viewed with Internet Explorer, Windows Notepad or web browser of some sort.
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This essay is a personal exercise in conciseness, and sums up the rich tapestry of
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the whole of British television in just 1000 words exactly(excluding this paragraph),
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to a hypothetical person who had never seen a British TV screen in his or her life
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(so it may also be a useful reference for immigrants :).
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This summary is BBC-centric for two reasons: 1) The BBC is the most consistent of the
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stations(so valid generalisations can be made) 2) Trying my hardest not to be personally
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biased, the other stations seem to be comparatively vacuous so there isn't much to describe.
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There are 5 terrestrial channels. Two BBC channels, the other three commercial.
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These are commonly referred to as Channels "One", "Two", "Three", "Four", and "Five".
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Indeed, the last two stations are called "Channel Four" and "Channel Five". Traditionally,
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one is almost always expected to be able to press 2 on the remote control and get BBC 2,
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press 3 and get ITV, press 4 and get Channel Four, and so on. This has been the case for
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as long as television itself has been publicly available, the only difference being the number
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of stations available. Originally, just BBC was available, followed by ITV in the 1950s,
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Channel Four some wee while later and Channel Five in the mid-90s.
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BBC1/BBC2: Duty-driven publicly funded channels. No adverts. Originally designed to free the mind,
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uplift and inspire. A function recently eroded, in my opinion. Often very PC. Also described as the
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nation's most important cultural institution.
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ITV: General commercial channel with good and long reputation. Like the BBC but with more emphasis
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on ratings and game shows. Often considered inferior to BBC although with many notable exceptions.
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Channel 4: "Alternative". Has strong links with the British film industry, and has been involved
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in the production of several major Channel Four Films. Also produces a rare combination of insightful
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and inspiring documentaries and experimental, voyeuristic, sometimes amateurish, programmes. It is the
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nation's main source of American sitcoms. Despite all of this, it is mostly rubbish, in my opinion. Commercial.
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Channel 5: Trash. Commercial. Lot's of films. Softcore porn on some nights.
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A SINGLE DAY'S MINIMUM ROUTINE:
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In a single day one can expect perhaps children's television in the morning:, often long running
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kids programmes many decades old such as Postman Pat(animated series of rural postman) and Blue Peter(an ancient,
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excellent, wholesome, informative edutainment programme which spawned household terms such as
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"sticky-back plastic"[so as to avoid saying company name such as Sellotape] and "here's'one I made earlier").
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This is followed by a few "of the time" programs, including some which are linked to the national curriculum.
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Also there are the normal "Saturday morning cartoons." Daytime television often is gardening and cooking and
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interior design programmes. There is a long history of celebrity chefs in this slot. Afternoon also features
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a wildlife programme, often repeats of Wildlife on One or instead, the new Wildlife on Two. Nine times out of ten,
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narrated by explorer and naturalist David Attenbourgh. His familiar, gentle, explanatory voice is instantly
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recognisable and often mimicked or parodied. Then at about the time children return from school we have
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Children' BBC, Children's ITV and so on. Here we have more timeless TV mixed with new and short lived productions.
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Grange Hill, (high school drama for high school aged children; been running during my whole lifetime so
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far and longer), has always had a home at about this time. Basically, this is just more children's
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television at this time. Blue Peter is shown at this time also. During the evening we have a comedy(often sitcom)
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period. Also programmes such as Tomorrows World, the Ten O'clock News, the very insightful and intellectual
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Newsnight. You've Been Framed on ITV is a home video disaster show. All of this depends on what day of the week it is, etc.
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MUST MENTION
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Many other things constitute British televisual life. The Cricket on Channel 4. Darts in the afternoon. There are
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many icons and references: from Mr Bean to Terry Wogan. One ought also to acknowledge household names such as
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"Victor Meldrew"(refers to anyone as cantankerous as the old geezer from One Foot In The Grave). I must also
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mention the strong ties between BBC TV and BBC Radio.
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A QUICK SAMPLE?
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A sample of the main features on television about now(i.e. this week), at some point today or this week:
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Room 101(comedy show where celebrity guests talk about what should be eradicated from British society),
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a documentary about Hadrian's wall and the ancient Roman-British postal service, Big Brother(a group of
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ordinary people are locked in a house together for so and so weeks and filmed extensively while they go
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insane), Pole to Pole(Monty Python comedian Michael Palin travels from North Pole to South pole, exploring
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different cultures on the way), Child of Our Time(series of programmes about how humans think and mentally adapt),
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Eastenders Revealed(a documentary about the making of the soap opera EastEnders), and other such stuff.
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ONGOING GENRES, PROGRAMMES AND TRADITIONS
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University Challenge(pretty old game show between the UK's top universities), Tomorrows World(similar
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age, reviews the immediate future of technological development), Soap Operas such as EastEnders on BBC1, Coronation
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Street on ITV, etc.
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Top of the Pops is half a century old, and is a live weekly show of popular bands from the charts. The Holy Grail
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of television appearences for many UK musicians. There have been 2000 half-hour shows ever, at this very moment.
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There are many histories, which one ought to be aware of in order to appreciate the present.
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COMEDY
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I haven't touched on comedy much yet. This area is a point of pride in British television. Even the adverts
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are hilarious. There is a modern history of "alternative comedy", which rose in popularity during the 80s.
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There is an absence of team written comedy, and more inclination towards single or few comedians/writers/performers
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bringing their own soul and spirit into each show(Britain's unique comic strength in the opinions of many). Recent
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comedies include Only Fools and Horses, Blackadder, Yes, Prime minister, The Royal Family(nothing to do with
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monarchy), The Office, Red Dwarf, there is a seemingly endless list of good stuff. Acknowledge also past shows
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such as Fawlty Towers, Hancock's Half Hour, and The Young Ones.
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[end of document]
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