68 lines
2.5 KiB
Plaintext
68 lines
2.5 KiB
Plaintext
ARE YOU A PSYCOPATH?
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By David Moore.
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A QUESTIONNAIRE TO DETERMINE WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE A PSYCOPATH.
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TICK AS APPROPRIATE
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1. Which of the following do you take into the bath with you?
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A) A rubber duck [ ]
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B) A harpoon [ ]
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C) Leeches [ ]
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D) Other [ ] Please State: ...........................................
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2. What do you keep in the boot of your car?
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A) A spare tire [ ]
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B) A stash of heroin [ ]
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C) A dead body [ ]
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D) Other [ ] Please State: .......................................
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3. Which of the following would you like to own most?
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A) A Ferrari [ ]
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B) A disused warehouse [ ]
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C) A motel in the middle of nowhere [ ]
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D) Other [ ] Please State: ........................
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4. What do you write in?
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A) Ink [ ]
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B) Newspaper cuttings [ ]
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C) Blood [ ]
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D) Other [ ] Please State: ......................................
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5. What is in your freezer?
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A) Peas [ ]
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B) Rare "Merchandise" [ ]
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C) Your wife [ ]
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D) Other [ ] Please State: ......................................
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6. Where can you normally be found?
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A) In front of the TV [ ]
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B) Jail [ ]
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C) An abatoir [ ]
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D) Other [ ] Please State: ......................................
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7. Who are your best friends?
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A) Your mates at work [ ]
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B) Your "Assosiates" [ ]
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C) The elves, the elves I tell you! [ ]
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D) Other [ ] Please State: ........................
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Count how many A's, B's, C's and D's you got...
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If you got mostly...
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A's: You are a completely bog-standard, down-to-earth, boring-us-out-of-our-skulls person. Yay.
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Probable career path: Bank Manager
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B's: You are a Crime Lord in the making. Better get back to the pocket money extortion racket.
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Probable career path: Mafia Boss
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C's: You are a certifiable, out-of-your-skull, totally-crazy, insaniac Psycopath.
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Probable career path: American Postal Worker
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D's: You are an irritating, Just-can't-be-like-anybody-else, have-to-be-difficult BASTARD.
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Probable career path: Traffic Warden |