textfiles/uploads/improvarms.txt

In the wee hours of morning

This file is intended for informational use only, possession of some of the implements described
in this text could be illegal in your juristiction and will almost be guaranteed to be illegal
if used as a weapon. I accept no responsibiliy for your actions, for god's sake don't beat anyone's
ass and blame me for inspiring you. I don't claim to know the laws everywhere nor do I pretend that
all of these will work very well. Many do, some are only good when desperate (such as when you're about
to get jumped by street delinquents and such) also sometimes you can still be taken in because the cop
decides that it's a weapon regardless of your excuse. Being in possession of potential burglary tools
is also a quick route to being booked as is many of the other things included herein. This is not a comprehensive
list nor is it a list of the best options, but more a list to get your little imaginations working.

I: Improvised Beating Implements

It is quite well known that hitting people with a blunt object hurts and can cause serious damage
but walking down the street at night with a baseball bat or golfclub will draw a lot of attention
that most people don't want nor need. Also being in possession without a legitmate reason can get
you taken downtown on 'probable cause' by most fascist cops where they will more than likely pin
something unrelated on you or say you were likely to commit a crime. Which is why you are going to
be carrying things for no reason but that aren't clearly usable as weapons.

1. For a nice short beating tool thick electrical wire (the kind that is strung from the poles next
to almost every street in America) are great. It's not too heavy but not so light in weight as to
only end up slapping. Cut a section that sticks out about 5 inches beyond your closed fist. You can
wrap electrical cape around the ends so the internals of the wire don't get caught on things such as
your pocket. It is perfectly legal to carry a piece of wire in all juristictions, unlike things such
as a piece of steel pipe or rebar and you don't have to explain yourself if you're caught with it.

2. Tightly rolled newspapers are a decent choice for laying a bit of a beatdown on some unfortunate
thug. It's not highly desructive, but it's better than nothing. It extends your reach enough to hopefully
avoid punches from the other party involved. Don't rely too heavily on it though, it's really only good
for a riot or for really desperate times. Unless you live in Iraq I have never heard of newspapers
being illegal to have on your person at any time of day.

3. Glass bottles can do serious damage, and plenty of beverages come in them. If you are ever asked why
you have an empty glass bottle simply state that you're a tree hugging hippy who didn't see a trashcan after
finishing your upper class drink and didn't want to litter. Be careful if the bottle you have chosen is one that
at some point contained alcohol particularly if you are not of the legal age to possess such things. Fair warning
they can and often will break upon impact and may leave you with glass shards in your hand.

4. Your belt is often overlooked as a potential weapon. Particularly ones with belt buckles securely fastened
to them. they can be used as a strangulation or subduing tool in a pinch as well. Just be careful you don't
trip over your low hanging drawers as you flee the scene. Another note about belts is that there are brass
knuckles (knuckle dusters, knucks, etc) that have a pin on them so they can be used as a belt buckle, thus
no longer making them a dangerous nor concealed weapon but simply an unattractive fashion statement for the
badass we all think we have in us. As long as it's not on your fist excuses can be made. However note that having
one in a pocket or backpack is still illegal unless you can somehow convince the pig that it's a paperweight or
something.

5. A backpack or purse (for my female readers and all you fairies) full of things such as books (or bricks) 
make a very destructive concussive beating tool. I can't imagine that you would want to carry such heavy things
around with you, I mostly put this in here to get your little imaginations going. Note that not all straps can
handle being swung around particularly with heavy stuff inside the bag.

6. A roll of quarters (still in the paper tube) or a lighter (danger of explosion you have been warned) can be
used as a fist pack, however they also raise a serious risk of breaking your hand when it impacts anything 
harder than a stomach. Anything that can be gripped with no air space in your palm can be used in this
manner. Also lighters have a tendency to crack and sometimes explode depending on how hard the hit it. The paper
wrapped around the roll of quarters is of course just paper to don't plan to use either of these on a regular
basis.

7. A large metal flashlight (like the mag lights cops use for example) make a fairly heavy, easy to use beating
tool which is also good for casting light into dark places. Flashlights aren't illegal to carry and it would be
pretty easy to find an excuse for why you have one day or night.

8. This one has been popularized by the movie full metal jacket, the original origins are unknown but it is
commonly used in Marine Corps hazing called 'blanket parties' essentially it is a sock with a bar of soap dropped
into it in order to make a very crude flail. These can injure someone very severely with a direct blow to any
of the softer portions of the head or face. Tying a knot above the soap is optional and not really neccessary.
Unless you look like a bum possession of this may raise some questions (and it will get you in trouble with some
of the more bitter MP's on most bases).

9. Textbooks can be used in a fairly obvious manner to bash somebody with. Not overly effective typically however
it's rare to be charged with possession of a textbook (some other books can of course get you into trouble).

10. Bicycle locks and cords can be made into a very mean flail-like whipping and beating implement. However if
you don't happen to have a bike with you it may look like you're up to something if you're walking around with a
chain and lock hanging out of your hand menacingly...

11. Safety escape hammers for using in a rollover or some other catastrophic car accidents are actually a very
useful tool indeed. They have a nice spike for punching through glass, a blade for cutting seatbelts and sometimes
have other features. You may want to paint them a color other than the pastel colors that they typically come in.

II: Improvised Stabbing or Cutting Implements

Cutting or stabbing is sometimes neccessary while away from home and there is substantial risk to life or limb
that only doing major damage to the opposition will suffice. Here are some examples of improvised bladelike weapons

1. Screwdrivers and icepicks are very deadly stabbing tools, however it is quite likely that you will get into
plenty of legal trouble if caught walking around with an icepick (probably less for a screwdriver, easier to make
an excuse) in some areas possession of an icepick is illegal, you have been warned. Also having a screwdriver can
get you taken in on probable cause for burglary if the cop is feeling particularly bitter that day.

2. Pens and pencils can be used to cause very minor scratches and sometimes severe stabbing wounds. Particularly
metal pens. There is no reason to ever get into trouble for possession of pens or pencils on the streets, the
plausible deniability is just way too high. Usage should be obvious.

3. Scissors are often overlooked as a potential weapon as soon as people grow out of the early teenage years. They
aren't exactly easy to use, but at least they have two blades but unfortunatly the cutting edge is on the inside
with some scissors the blades can be put back together backwars to put the sharp edge on the outside but it raises
much more risk for the user particularly when transporting. Scissors can sometimes get you in trouble with cops if
you don't have a good reason. It's easier to get away with possession of scissors if you are of a school attending
age or are also in possession of anything artistic or craftlike (scrapbooking anyone?).

4. Corkscrews (the old kind with the "T" shape) are a very brutal and gruesome stabbing implement if used correctly
and likely even if used incorrectly. The most effective way would be to hold it in the palm of the hand with the
metal spiral potruding through the space between two of the user's fingers. This one may or may not be hard to
justify to your local law man, depends on if you look like you could be a wine drinker or not.

5. Strait razors are all but gone from everywhere, should you find one take note that they are indeed illegal
in all 50 states. Sure you have a decent excuse, but they are illegal as a weapon and as a personal hygene product
anyway. Should you somehow find one take notice that they do not lock closed and can open in a loose pocket.

6. Keys can be used in a pinch for a scratching tool or for striking at eyes, however they are not really very
reliable, not to mention you don't really want that evidence on the things you use to open your personal belongings
with.

7. Thin fiber wire or twine, there are many types of wire out there (usually made from springy metallic or plastic
materials) that make potentially bad tools for strangulation, and with enough force dismemberment. If you plan
to look into this better fasten some handles on them and have a strong stomach. Hey if you're caught with it just
call it a mini jumprope or something.

8. Syringes are good for stabbing although disgusting as hell and can help get some diseases spreading pretty
well, hopefully you don't carry these on any sort of a regular basis.

III: Burglary Tools

Don't get me wrong, I don't condone burglary like I condone misuse of common objects, however it seems
like at least somebody out there will enjoy hearing about some things that burglers use in order to
break in and leave with the lottery.

1. Crow bars or pry bars are used for many things, the two most common are for breaking windows and for breaking
open locked drawers and jewelry boxes. As much as TV would like you to think rope is pretty much never brought
along nor are lockpicks or anything like that. It's rare that a burgalar goes to any great lengths to make his
entry go undetected for a while. These can also be used against the family dog or against a homeowner that caught
the would be bandit in the act.

2. Occasionally glass cutters are used to infiltrate homes in more suburban areas where the sound of glass breaking
would likely result in a nosey neighbor calling the local piggy hotline, however they have been known to make a
good amount of noise as well given it's high pitch is bad news with canines in the area.

3. Duct tape isn't very common but it is sometimes used along with a hammer and some sort of dampener such as a
towel to lessen the sound caused be breaking a window in order to gain entry to a location. How it is done is by
lining the entire window with the tape in a crossing fashion so that it is nearly one solid piece and then placing
towel or shirt or whatever has been chosen over the tool or directly on the glass and striking it usually just once
but sometimes repeatedly. The glass with crack but not fall to the ground which is where most of the distinct
sounds of glass breaking come from.

4. Bump Keys are a specially filed key which when struck while inserted into a lock and lightly turning can usually
shear the pins and unlock the door including deadbolts. Most locks can still be opened using this type of device
in spite of it being fairly common knowledge among locksmiths and criminals alike, and somewhat recently the 
general public.

5. Guns are usually used to threaten people into either letting a strong arm robber into a home or to keep them
from either putting up resistance or attempting to call for help while they are still inside the home. This is
becoming more common due to the rise in methamphetamine addicted ass holes going out and robbing people.

6. Knives are used the same as above and of course for cutting anything that needs to be cut.

7. Red dampened flashlights are used by either more proffessional or more paranoid types of burglers. They are
often home modified using red taillight tape but sometimes tactical flashlights with a red dampening filter are
used, the reason red is chosen is because the reflected light doesn't travel nearly as far nor as brightly but
is still plenty to see by.

8. Teargas or mace weapons are used to stop an angry dog and to blind homeowners to prevent identification, this
is rare among proffessionals but is somewhat common among the more inexperienced thieves. 

9. Bolt cutters are a must for any industrial thief and for most suburban ones who want to take a peek in places
such as sheds or garages. Used for cutting the locks off fences, doors, and to cut a hole in chain link fences
and to take down barbed wire.

10. Some of the more obvious things such as bags and gloves also, although gloves don't matter as much unless
the thief has any prior convictions or has been fingerprinted for any other reason. Then again if captured later
there will be another crime to get charged with.

11. Crackpipe. This one may sound funny but it's true, many home invasion robberies are done by crackheads and
methheads. That's just how the pebble rocks when it comes to doing rock. Much stealing happens to support drug
habits and these two drugs in particular are stimulants that make the user braver, have more energy and less
likely to do a clean job.

12. Screwdriver or icepick I know I covered these as a weapon, but they are also good for getting through glass
particularly on windows that have horizontal locks, stab it through just above the lock and reach down with it to
open the window.

IV: Things to consider involving street combat

1. Have a damn fine reason for being where you were when it went down. And make sure that the other guy is in
no shape to contradict your side of the story. This only applies if you picked the fight. Otherwise be honest
unless it involves some other crimes with the exception of minor things like you were going out to go try and
find a gram of weed or something, west coast cops will let that sort of confession slide as long as you're not
in possession, however southern cops will literally find a reason to arrest you for it. As will some eastern pigs
use good judgement.

2. Ditch the weapon and say you don't know where it went you must have dropped it while going to look for help or
some nonsense. Ditch it no matter what, but don't say anything unless arested and not until you have a lawyer.

3. Get away right after it's over. I mean right the fuck away. The further you are form the scene the less likely
you are to be stopped unless you fit a witness description or are covered in a gallon of blood. Also don't travel
in a strait direction away from the scene. Take turns but make sure you are always heading away. Or if you are
skilled at acting you can be heading towards the scene to make it look like your some random person walking down
the road.

4. Do not confess to a single thing until you have legal council. I cannot stress this point enough. Also make sure
to pay close attention to any and all fuck ups the cops make with the hopes of getting off on mistrial should you
be arrested for assault with a deadly weapon or something. Or possible manslaughter if you aren't careful (or of
course if that was your intention).

5. Absolutely DO NOT call anyone after it happens unless it's really bad and you need to get the hell out of
there. This can cause problems not only for you but for whomever you call.

6. Cellular phones can be used as evidence against you in terms of an alibi if you are implicated (somehow)
and you claim to have been nowhere near the area. This isn't a common practice, but if you are in any sort
of serious investigation you will have to consider this.

7. Make sure that you can argue self defense. This is what will either make or break you. If the other party
assaulted you there was no way you could know if you were in serious danger or not. 

V: Some things to consider involving burglary

1. You can have misdemeanor shoplifting escalated to burglary if you stole and didn't have any money in your
possession. It is considered premeditated if you walk into a store and steal without the means to pay for
anything anyway.

2. See section IV-6 about cell phones, it applies to burglary and any other crime as well.

3. Make sure that you have two sets of clothing and somewhere to stash all tools and such for pickup later,
makes you a lot less likely to be caught walking down the street or speeding away from the scene when you
don't have a break-in set or any stolen goods in your possession.

4. You never realize how loud some things are, such as breaking windows or kicking in doors.

5. Be wary of neighbors and security cameras. They can result in your operation being compromised before
it has even begun or even meanwhile. Particularly in low or high crime areas. If you look like you don't
belong there then somebody will probably notice.

6. If you use a vehicle after you break in open the garage if you can and park inside so that you can work
away from prying eyes and ears.

7. DO NOT WEAR ALL BLACK! as much as this seems like a good idea it's really not. It draws way too much attention
to you. Wear dark blue or dark green if possible. Brown and dark red (at night only) are decent alternatives that
won't make you look so much like a cat burgler.

8. Only hit an area once. Don't go on a spree. You will be caught.

9. Stay far from your own neighborhood. The first people interviewed are the neighbors, and if anyone saw
anything they can lead the pigs strait to your front door.

10. Don't go out on such operations on a regular basis. Also don't keep anything that is unique in your own
home. Also make sure you seperate your tools so that it doesn't look like a kit perfectly tailored to breaking
and entering.

11. Unless you really don't give a shit don't trash the house. The less attention you draw to the event the
better. Not to mention breaking shit makes a lot of noise.

12. It's a good idea to use things within the house to store whatever is stolen. Pillow cases or luggage work
great and reduce the amount of stuff you have to carry in with you. However stuffed pillow cases are pretty
sketchy looking walking down the road...

13. Choose targets carefully. Look for piles of unclaimed newspapers, or get a connection in the neighborhood
paper delivery service who can tell you when people are on vactation. Will greatly reduce the risk involved.

14. Ringing the doorbell and taking off a distance to hide and watch is another option if you don't want to
possibly confront the homeowners. Do it several times, also listen for dogs.

15. Look for home security signs, if you see one you may wish to choose a new target.

16. Go for small sized high value items such as jewelry, electronics, credit cards, identification documents

17. Don't spend more than a couple minutes inside. The longer you wait the more risk there is involved.

18. Pay attention to the houses around the one you plan to hit, make sure everyone is asleep and there are no
dogs that can possibly compromise your work.

19. Do NOT sell the stolen property in pawn shops. They maintain lists of who sold what, and one of the first
places that the cops ask are pawn shops. You will be better off selling it privately or trading the goods for
other things. 

20. Avoid random smash and grabs, think carefully about what you plan to do, if you want to have a team and other
aspects of the actuall carrying out of the heist.

VI: Conclusion

This was a basic overview of the two aspects of being out at night that are usually neglected everywhere
but on the internet where this is way too much information being spread by fifteen year olds that have no
idea what they are talking about. Hopefully this will get your creative thoughts flowing and you can come
up with something original to help you to your means.

~BR

I don't care if this file is passed around. It was written for the community anyway. All I ask is that you
posers don't steal my work.