92 lines
5.0 KiB
Plaintext
92 lines
5.0 KiB
Plaintext
*******************************************
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* *
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* Spraying People with A Hose *
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* *
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*******************************************
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// written by
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_______ ____ ___ ____
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| \ | | / / / /
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| D | | |/ / | \
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...___|______/____|_____<______\___\____...
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| |\ \ | |\ \ / /
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|__| \___\ |__| \__\ /___/
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One of my favorite hobbies is spraying people with a hose. It is the best hobby
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ever. This report is about the tips and techniques of spraying people with a
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hose. You will learn the masters' expert techniques on how to sneak up on
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someone and learn about different hose spraying techniques. You will also learn
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about the different types of hoses and their strengths and weaknesses. We'll
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start with a brief explanation on how to get someone.
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The first step in drenching someone is to sneak up on them. The best place to
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spray is when they are on the ground and you are at an elevated position with a
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guard rail to hide behind, such as a porch. This way, you can jump up by
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surprise when they're not looking and shoot them. Another advantage of this
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position is that when they run, you can still spray them because you are up high
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and the hose water can still go far before it hits the ground.
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Another good position to spray someone is when they're boxed into a corner. For
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example, they are out in the yard sunbathing by the corner of the yard. You run
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in and spray them, making sure to spray both corners of the fence so that they
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are intimidated and run in the opposite direction, where you spray. If you spray
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them at first, they will dash away because they don't have a fear of getting hit
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on the side.
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Always scout the location before you spray so that you can devise a plan. If
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they have food, avoid it at all costs, unless you want a fist in your face. Them
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having a drink is a good thing for you. They will try to protect the drink by
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getting themselves wet so that water does not get into the drink, unless they
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are drinking water, then they will pour the water on you. A particularly bad
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position for spraying people is when they are on a porch because they are
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elevated and can run into the house, where it is off-limits. They might also
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have water guns or buckets of water to retaliate hidden behind the rail.
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If they have a hose and you have a hose you are going to take them by surprise
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using evasive maneuvers. Run up to them behind and set the hose on full power.
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Keep spraying them by running around them clockwise then counterclockwise,
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reversing every few seconds. After about 15 seconds then you run away.
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A more complex attack is when there are two people who you want to spray. The
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objective here is to spray each person equally for a long enough time for them
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to be thoroughly drenched. The plan: go to one side of them and spray. Just go
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to a position where you can get them both in the same spray. You spray the hose,
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and they run. The person closest runs to the side. The farthest person runs
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directly away. Ignore the closest person, they have been soaked already. Go for
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the person farthest away, they only got some of the original spray. Chase them
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in a normal manner soaking them for a few seconds and get out of there. Once you
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are done spraying everybody in any manner, put the hose away and steal the
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nozzle. This way, they cannot spray you.
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There are a few different types of hoses available. Some are excellent for a
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sneak attack against two people. Some are better for long distance spraying.
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This will go through the use and style of each nozzle.
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The first type of nozzle is a nozzle with a standard hand gun shape. It has
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trigger, barrel like most hoses. But it has a circular head about 3-5 cm
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diameter. It has many small holes for the water to exit and it usually does not
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give off lots of pressure. This hose is not recommended. It is great for
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gardening and such, but it isn't great for spraying people unless there is a lot
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of pressure or the person is small or weak.
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The next nozzle is the standard non-adjustable pressured stream of water. This
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is the most common hose nozzle. It is simple, and cheap. It has a trigger on the
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back that you squeeze with your hand to fire. This hose is very good for single
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fire because it is fast and powerful. Unfortunately, spraying two people at the
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same time is a complicated task. It is too narrow to hit two people at the same
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time. You would have to move the hose back and forth so that to cover two
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people.
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The final hose is my favorite. It is the adjustable nozzle. You can adjust it
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either by twisting the front or by using different pressure settings an the
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trigger. You can use wide spray for two people, or you can use the jet if you
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want to puncture a hole in one persons' skin.
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Now, the key to learning how to spray the hose is like Kung Fu, you learn it so
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that you never have to use it.
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