108 lines
3.7 KiB
Plaintext
108 lines
3.7 KiB
Plaintext
Hall of Lamers
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By McLoser
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mcloser@hobbiton.org
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Lamers are everywhere. They are all around us.
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Eventually you'll run into one. It's as inevitable as you whacking
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off after seeing graphic horse porn.
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That's where i come in. You see, I'm John Lame,
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Operator of The Hall of Lamers. What is this Hall of
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Lamers you ask. Well you might say it's a prison for the lame. I begin
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to travel down one of the many corridors.
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As i walk down the endless corridor, cells to either side of me,
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I stop and peer in at a single cell to the left of me.
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As i peer in, my eyes come accross a rambling bumbling sight.
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This odd and twisted creature is deformed
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beyond reason. The features are indescribable,
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except for the red hat this creature wears,
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which has an "M" emblem upon it. I stammer at it's disgusting attractiveness.
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I lift my hand up and tap the gate, the creatures head
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pirks upward as it "Laughs Out Out Loud". I can
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only ponder what this sad creature means.
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There are many other creatures like this,
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we call these beings lamers.
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I walk further down further, thinking about the utter lameocity
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of this place. I now turn a corner and wander down a special path in
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the keep. They call this place CyberSexual. To the right and to the left i
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glance over ungodly and lametastical acts. Such acts consist of,
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"SCUKNG UR DICK, suckng your fuck, orgasiming, STACKNG TROSURS, ".
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I also hear the annoying and demon-like sounds.
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The endless moans and groans, and
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"I HAVE AN EIGEHTEN ENCHER"'s echo in my head.
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Everyone one of these morbid lamers going "OHHH OHHHH OHHH!!".
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It's enough to make one vomit.
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A buzz can be heard from the intercom system.
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This is followed by an annoying voice "new arrival at the entry room".
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That was my signal to go bring in the new arrival.
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I travel a while, 'till i reach a door marked "Suck Ur Fuck". I enter.
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The shadowy room most resembles a police intterogation room.
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A wooden table in the middle of the room, with two chairs on either side of it.
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Sitting on the chair farthest from me is a horrid sight indeed.
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An overwieght "male?" lamer, with a t-shirt reading "I Am LOOL!?!?!",
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and a pair of shredded panties. I take a seat accross from him,
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and read from his file that was set here for me.
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"It says here you're accused of lamer-speach."
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"WHT R U TALKING ABOUT PLEEZ I DINT DU ANYTHONG
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PLLEZ DONT SNED ME TU DA CELLSZ"
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"Would you please stop yelling."
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"I AM NUT YEWLNG"
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"Your name's BIG14U, right?"
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"YES I AM BIG14U"
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"Where did you get a name like that?"
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"I GOT MY NAM FROM MY BIG ONE!!!!!!!"
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"Sir, this lamertized gloating merely indicates
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you further as a lamer."
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"I'd like to ask you a few questions."
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"WHUT R UR QUEOSTINTIONS?????!!!!"
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"What is your definition of lamer?"
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"LAMER IS A PISSION HU IS LAME LKE U!?!?!? HAHAHA!??!"
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"What is your purpose?"
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"I AM HEAR 2 FCK HOT WET GURLS HU WANT 2
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HAVE MY CUK IN TER MUTHO!?!?!"
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"In there Mother?"
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"NO IN TEHRW MOUF!?!?! U IDUT!!!1111"
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"Do you consider yourself a lamer?"
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"NO AND UF U EVR TRY 2 FCK WIT ME ILL BE SAY UR GNG
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TO BE SORRY U FUCK ME LAMER!!!111"
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"Yeah.....well you have been found a lamer, and are here-
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by sentenced to spend an eternity in the hall, with your own kind."
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"U WILL BE SORY U FCKHEAD"
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I leave as two fat men with wife beater shirts and bad hair
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cuts take BIG14U away.
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Yes my friends, this is just the kind of trash i deal with every day,
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for the purpose of the Hall is to make sure these lamers
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stay locked away in the darkness, and fed on a diet of blood and
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urine extract. So if you're a lamer, beware. One day you may find
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yourself here, in this Hall, being locked away with psycho-babblers,
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horny pedophiles, people whose goal it is to be the opposite sex,
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and little kids participating in naughty acts.
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