130 lines
3.7 KiB
Plaintext
130 lines
3.7 KiB
Plaintext
Warning Advisory! The device you are currently considering comes with a
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free trial grace period of 5.5 years. Each year the operating complexity
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expands geometrically! If you don't use it by the end of
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the grace period you may never use one at all! Directions below:
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Product name "Female"
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Feature type "Relationship"
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Notes: Compatability mode: Where a user uses features for earlier models than
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they would otherwise use.
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"Stuff" is defined as anything intimate in the slightest. Including naughty stuff..
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Users Manual
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Part 1 - the 14 year old.
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======
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System Requirements, Male or Female, aged 12 to 15.
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Some 16 and 17 years olds may work in compatability mode.
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Directions
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**********
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1. Share some candy, and/or ask if they will be your friend.
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2. Hang out and do stuff.
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Part 2 - the 15 year old.
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======
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System Requirements, Male or Female, aged 14 to 17.
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Directions
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**********
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1. Say Hi.
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2. Ask what they are doing.
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3. Offer to help
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4. Hang out and do stuff.
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Part 3 - the 16 year old.
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======
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System Requirements, Astheatically appealing Male or Female, aged 14 to 18.
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May work in compatability mode with a 19 or 20 year old.
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Directions
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**********
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1. Look at them
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2. Grin
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3. Walk over
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4. Say hey your pretty, whats your name?
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5. Ask if you want too hang out together.
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6. Meet friends.
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7. Hug and sit together when possible
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8. Hang out and do stuff.
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Part 4 - the 17 year old.
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System Requirements, Male or Female, aged 15 to 21, optional requirements - Vehicle.
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Directions
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1. Find one thats actually single or unsure.
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2. Watch them in their native habitat (eg mall)
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3. Make sure none of her girl friends hate you.
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4. Make sure she "likes you" - ask a friend.
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5. Attract her attention.
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6. Ask for phone number
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7. Talk with her
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8. Call her
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9. Take her out on a date
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10. Make sure at least one parent hates you.
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11. Hang out socially
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12. Both announce to each others friends that your "A couple"
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13. Always go everywhere together.
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14. Share stuff.
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15. Hug and kiss all the time.
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16. Hang out and do stuff.
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Part 5a - the 18 year old.
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System requirements, Male or female, aged 16 to 26, with a car or motor cycle.
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Operates in the same way as a 17 year old, except transportation no longer optional
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and you must think of new compliments, buy gifts and flowers regularly, but randomly
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and always do exactly what she wants without her telling you what it is.
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Use compatability mode where possible.
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Part 5b - the 18.5 year old
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System requirements, Male or female, house or accomodation, vehicle, aged 17 to 70
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Money always available for spending, optional requirements credit
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card.
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For the sake of time, the 38 300 page volumes for this model have been summarised below.
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1. to 8. Do all the right things, hang out with the right people, say all the right things.
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9. You may now be able to talk to her. If not, repeat volumes 1 through 8.
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10. to 16. Do all the right things, say all the right things, make no errors.
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17. She may decide to date you. If not, repeat volumes 1 through 16.
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18. to 34. Wear all the right things, spend money on all the right things, say all the
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right things, do all the right things, go all the right places.
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35. She may now become your girlfriend, if not repeat volumes 10 through 34.
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36. Hang out and do stuff, periodically repeat volumes 18 through 35, as they change without notice.
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Part 6 the 19+ year old.
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Use part 5b compatability mode, but add "great in bed", "Sexy body", "Have a future", and
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"Mr/Mrs Right" Also double the steps for every month over 19 years old.
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(c) Manual Written By Phoenixx, Unauthorised use or reproduction (of the document that is)
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strictly prohibited! |