63 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
63 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
How to Go on a Free Date
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By: DIzzIE [antikopyright 2004/06]
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So you've got an empty wallet with a hot date being just around the
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corner and you're worried that your usual schemes won't rub off the
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right way on your significant other? After all, rushing him in
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through the back door amidst a crowd of exiting moviegoers to avoid
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the $8.50 ticket price may indeed seem cheap, and holding her hair
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back as she spits up the alka-seltzer mixed in with the crème brule
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to get out of paying the $200 bill at the city's most posh restaurant
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isn't the most romantic of ways to spend an evening. Worry not fair
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courtier, for here's a walkthrough on how to have an entirely free
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evening with style.
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First off, we need to take care of transportation. A few days in
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advance, pay a visit to a few prominent car dealerships and ask about
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their test drive programs. The good news is that not only do numerous
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dealerships now offer 24-hour test drives, many also give away
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promotional gifts like DVDs as 'thank yous' for the taking their
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product for a spin. The bad news is that the dealer may insist on
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running a credit check or/and ask you to leave your current car at
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the lot.
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Next, let's take care of the conventional chocolate and candy. Last
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month having written a letter to your chocolate manufacturer of
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choice (Godiva, See's, and so forth), describing your great distaste
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with their product, and including a UPC code that you took off a box
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at the store or created yourself using barcode software and the
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fitting paper stock, you should now have either a coupon or a check
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for the value of the candy, or even an actual replacement box shipped
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to you.
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As for the flowers, drive by a cemetery and pick out a particularly
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appealing array.
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A couple days before the big day, call up your selected fine dining
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establishment and explain that you are the Food & Arts reviewer for a
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local community paper or a startup magazine and have been assigned to
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do a review of said restaurant (depending on the particular
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restaurant's policy you may or may not have to explain that you are
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coauthoring the article, so as to explain the presence of your
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associate). Set a date and a time ballpark for when you'll be coming,
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give your name, and when you show up at the restaurant simply drop
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your name. You may want to create business cards matching your
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supposed position.
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Following the meal, when you're going to the theater use the same
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technique as for the restaurant, with 'food & arts' being replaced
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with 'entertainment'.
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And as for later in the night, well we all know that free
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contraceptives are available from a local health center. Of course,
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various companies would gladly send you a sample if you write to them
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requesting one; some, such as Trojan, have a convenient online
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request form: www.trojancondoms.com/freestuff/product/main.asp
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Have fun! ;)
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-
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Comments? Get in touch: xcon0 @t yahoo \/d0t/\ c||o|m
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(or call +1 (610) 887-6072)
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For more knowledge check out www.rorta.net and www.dizzy.ws |