125 lines
5.9 KiB
Plaintext
125 lines
5.9 KiB
Plaintext
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|| Nigga Go See a Movie ||
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|| Presents: ||
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|| Bible Shid ||
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|| -by Draxamus ||
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*************************************************************************
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Introduction
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--------------
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I have selected a few verses from the Bible to share with you. After
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each selection I will offer my own small interpretation. I will be using
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the New American Bible's translations. Note: The New American Bible
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includes footnotes on certain verses, so I have included the footnotes
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for those verses that have them.
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Exodus 31:12-15
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The LORD said to Moses "You must also tell the Israelites: Take care
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to keep my sabbaths, for that is to be the token between you and me
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throughout the generations, to show that it is I, the LORD, who make you
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holy. Therefore, you must keep the sabbath as something sacred.
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Whoever desecrates it shall be put to death. If anyone does work on that
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day, he must be rooted out of his people. Six days there are for doing
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work, but the seventh day is the sabbath of complete rest, sacred to the
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LORD. Anyone who does work on the sabbath day shall be put to death."
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Draxamus: The sabbath will be either Saturday or Sunday depending on
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whether you're Jewish or Christian. I'd go with the whole weekend just
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to be safe. So if you know anyone working on the weekend, you're going
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to have to cleanse them from the community by way of death.
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Exodus 32:25-29
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When Moses realized that, to the scornful joy of their foes, Aaron had
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let the people run wild, he stood at the gate of the camp and cried,
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"Whoever is for the Lord, let him come to me!" All the Levites then
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rallied to him, and he told them, "Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel:
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Put your sword on your hip, every one of you! Now go up and down the
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camp, fron gate to gate, and slay your own kinsmen, your friends and
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neighbors!" The Levites carried out the command of Moses, and that day
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fell about three thousand of the people. Then Moses said "Today you have
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been dedicated to the LORD, for you were against your own sons and
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kinsmen, to bring a blessing upon yourselves this day"
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Footnotes:
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"The calf...a feast of the Lord(referring to Exodus 32:5):" from this
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it is clear that the golden calf was intended as an image, not of a false
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god, but of the Lord himself, his strength being symbolized by the strength
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of the young bull. The Israelites, however, had been forbidden to
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represent the Lord under any visible form.
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"Slay Your own kinsmen:" those who are especially guilty of the idolatry.
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Draxamus: See anyone with a picture of God, and he's gotta' die.
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Leviticus 18:23
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"You shall not have carnal relations with an animal, defiling yourself
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with it; nor shall a woman set herself in front of an animal to mate with
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it; such things are abhorrent."
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Draxamus: The message here is clear. Don't fuck animals.
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Leviticus 18:24-25
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"Do not defile yourselves by any of these things by which the nations
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whom I am driving out of your way have defiled themselves. Because their
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land has become defiled. I am punishing it for its wickedness, by making
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it vomit out its inhabitants."
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Draxamus: This passage was included, because I liked the way this
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translation used the word "vomit."
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Leviticus 20:13
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"If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them shall be put to
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death for their abominable deed; they have forfeited their lives."
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Draxamus: In this passage God is telling us that all homos must die.
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Leviticus 24:13-16
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The LORD said to Moses, "Take the blasphemer outside the camp, and when
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all who heard him have laid their hands on his head, let the whole
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community stone him. Tell the Israelites: Anyone who curses his God
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shall bear the penalty of his sin; whoever blasphemes the name of the
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LORD shall be put to death. The whole community shall stone him; alien
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and native alike must be put to death for blaspheming the LORD's name."
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Draxamus: Blasphemy, that would be like someone saying "God Damnit." So
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if you hear someone saying "God Damnit," you are to take him outside,
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and pummel him with stones until his body is devoid of life.
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1 Corinthians 11:3
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But I want you to know that Christ is the head of every man, and a
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husband the head of his wife, and God the head of Christ.
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Footnotes:
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"A husband the head of his wife:" the specific problem suggests to Paul
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the model of the head as a device for clarifying relations within a
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hierarchical structure. The model is similar to that developed later in
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greater detail and nuance in Eph 5, 21-23. It is a hybrid model, for it
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grafts onto a strictly theological scale of existence (cf 1 Cor 3, 21-23)
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the hierarchy of the sociosexual relations prevalent in the ancient
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world: men, dominant, reflect the active function of Christ in relation
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to his church; women, submissive, reflect the passive role of the church
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with respect to its savior. This gives us the functional scale: God,
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Christ, man, woman.
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Draxamus: Jesus bows down to his Daddy. Men bow down to Christ. And
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women bow down to the all mighty MAN.
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Conclusion
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-----------
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God is a merciless killing machine.
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(C)2003 NGSAM Contact: AIM SN: floofykins
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