45 lines
2.1 KiB
Plaintext
45 lines
2.1 KiB
Plaintext
SUBJECT: THE GUARDIAN FILE: UFO3247
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The Four-week series: Conspiracy 3: UFOs
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04/10/93
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THE GUARDIAN
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IT IS estimated that five million Americans have sighted flying
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saucers. This is almost as many as have seen Elvis since he died.
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Either way, it is an impressive figure and bears testament to the
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fact that UFOs have been visiting earth for centuries, often, it is
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said, to warn us of our follies. Rumours persist that the last
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attempt at such a mercy mission was when the M25 was in the late
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planning stages. However, the aliens got stuck in traffic coming
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round their own version of the motorway near Saturn, and were too
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late to warn us. That governments worldwide publicly deny this and
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other sightings, is, say UFOlogists, due to a massive global
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conspiracy.
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Theories as to why this should be range from the blackmail of
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world leaders by intergalactic powers to not wanting to campaign on
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the "Let's make friends with the alien" ticket. More plausible is a
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theory that is as curious as it is sinister. When pressed, high
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ranking officials of many countries admit to dismissing UFO
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sightings purely as a way of keeping crackpot theorists everywhere
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harmlessly watching the skies for joy-riding Venusians.
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The reasoning is that no government would want an army of
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endlessly patient obsessives rumaging though its dirty laundry for
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a new conspiracy to call their own. These same officials will also
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admit to taking kickbacks from The Weekly World News and the Sunday
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Sport. One official corroboration of the existence of UFOs would
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destroy their circulations overnight.
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Such an admission would also be a loss to cult film makers and
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school pranksters the world over. UFO "sightings" are still the
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most fun you can have with a dustbin lid and a camera.
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* -------->>> THE U.F.O. BBS - http://www.ufobbs.com/ufo <<<------- *
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