78 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
78 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
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______________________________________________________________________________
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1 1 t h H H OO U U RRRRR
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11 11 ttt h H H O O U U R R
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1 1 1 1 t hhh H H O O U U R R
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1 1 t h h H H O O U U R R
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1 1 tt h h HHHHH O O U U RRRRR
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1 1 H H O O U U R R
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1 1 H H O O U U R R
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1 1 H H O O U U R R
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11111 11111 H H OO UUU R R
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P R O D U C T I O N S
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Presents...
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______________________________________________________________________________
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"Disco Can Be Fun"
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by Aldebaran
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It was a rainy May evening, and little Herman Jocko was at home alone.
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Under normal circumstances, Herman would be hunched in front of his Apple
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II+, his 300 baud modem blazing away. But to his horror, his father, Mr.
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Jeffers Jocko had taken away little Herman's computer until he "got a life".
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But little Herman, although he was almost 14, had never been with other
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people outside of school, and because of that, had no idea what it means to
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have fun. So, desperate for some ideas on how to get a life(and how to get
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his computer back), little Herman opened The Closet, in search of his
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father's memerobilia from "the good old days", hoping to learn how to become
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a social animal like his father. Little Herman opened the closet, revealing
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a huge wardrobe of the most wonderful clothes Herman had ever seen!
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"K-K00l! Look at all this polyester!"
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Herman dug further into the closet, and soon came upon the greatest treasure
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of the closet: a large carboard box filled with old records and photographs!
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Flipping through the records, Herman found his father's last album he
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recorded... in 1979! 'J. Jocko, Thats the Song!'. On the cover was his dear
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father, J. Jocko, wearing bellbottoms and a multicolored polyester shirt,
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dancing in a dark disco club. "Golly gee whiz, wouldn't it be k-k00l if I
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could be like him?" thought little Herman as he rose, and took a white
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polyester leisure suit from the closet. Wet with excitement, Herman savagely
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tore off his knickers and slipped the suit over his Superman Underoos. "Now
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I'm as k00l as daddy! Yay! Now I can be a hep cat! A k00l d00d! A social
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savage! A groovy stud! I'm gonna paint the town! Yeah!"
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Little Herman slipped on a pair of brown leather elevator shoes and
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stepped outside into the city streets. "Yay! I'm k00l now!" shouted Herman,
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and he began the long journey to the local nightclub. But as Herman rounded
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the corner, he was confronted by a tall muscular man with a big lead pipe.
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"Hey d00d! Whatz up? I'm goin' down to The Thrash Pad to get down and
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boogie! Care to join me?" asked Herman.
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"What de fuck? You've gotta be shittin' me! Look at this fucker!
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You've gotta be the funniest lookin' bastard I'ze evah eyeballed!
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Cut this shit... you're gone!"
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Wham! With a few swift blows, Herman was nothing more than a pile of
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broken bones and ripped flesh wrapped in polyester. The end.
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Now that I've wasted enough of your time, I shall end this file. But let
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this be a lesson to anyone considering a nationwide disco revival...
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_______________________________________________________________________________
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(C) 1991 by Janitor Brand & The Eleventh Hour
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All Rights Curiously Examined And Contemplated
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"The Purple Duck Flies South at Noon"
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Call these fine boards:
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The Janitor's Closet - (617) 69X-XXXX
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The Works - (617) 861-8976
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