61 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
61 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
This is a copy of the winning story submitted to the "Campfire
|
|
Stories" contest, and it comes from the great state of Texas and won
|
|
the week's prize of $25,000. (from Snohomish Insights via Vancouver
|
|
Ostomy Highlife).
|
|
|
|
(Note: For BEST effect, read this aloud to a group of 4 or more.
|
|
|
|
My friend is a rather old-fashioned lady always quite delicate and
|
|
elegant, especially in her language. She and her husband were
|
|
planning a week's vacation in Florida, so she wrote to a particular
|
|
campground and asked for reservations.
|
|
|
|
She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped, but didn't
|
|
quite know how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn't
|
|
bring herself to write the word "toilet" in her letter. After much
|
|
deliberation, she finally came up with the old-fashioned term
|
|
"bathroom commode". But when she wrote that down, she still thought
|
|
she was being too forward, so she started all over again, rewrote the
|
|
entire letter and referred to the bathroom commode merely as the
|
|
"B.C." "Does the campground have its own "B.C.?" is what she actually
|
|
wrote.
|
|
|
|
Well, the campground owner wasn't oldfashioned at all, and when he got
|
|
the letter he just couldn't figure out what she was talking about.
|
|
That "B.C." business really stumped him.
|
|
|
|
After worrying about it for a while he showed the letter to several
|
|
campers but they couldn't imagine what the lady meant, either. So the
|
|
campground owner, finally coming to the conclusion that the lady must
|
|
be talking about the location of the local Baptist Church, sat down
|
|
and wrote the following reply:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dear Madam:
|
|
|
|
I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but now I take
|
|
the pleasure of informing you that a B.C. is located nine miles north
|
|
of the campground and is capable of seating 250 people at one time.
|
|
I admit it is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of going
|
|
regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great many
|
|
people take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually
|
|
arrive early and stay late.
|
|
|
|
The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so
|
|
crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may
|
|
interest you to know that right now there is a supper planned to raise
|
|
money to buy more seats. They're going to hold it in the basement of
|
|
the B.C.
|
|
|
|
I would like to say it pains me very much not to be able to go more
|
|
regularly, but it surely is not lack of desire on our part. As we
|
|
grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in cold
|
|
weather.
|
|
|
|
If you decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with
|
|
you the first time you go; sit with you and introduce you to all the
|
|
other folks. Remember - this is a friendly community.
|
|
|
|
Sincerely,
|
|
|