238 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
238 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
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Msg: #3085 Sec: 3 - TALL Tales
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07-Mar-89 03:58 PM
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Subj: The Felis-Humano Wars
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From: Thief Killer
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To: Cat Lovers
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I crouched down in the shadow of the counter between the kitchen
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and the dinette and quickly assessed my current situation. Not bad consid-
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ering. I had my knife, two throwing spikes and one flechette round left in
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my pistol, and I counted no more than three of the enemy left mobile out
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there. Damn cats had been ready to mount a major offensive, but I had
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caught them a little flat footed. They weren't expecting anyone to come
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by the mobile home where my friend, Disk Driver, lived. Shaggra! I hadn't
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expected to come by either, but since I'd happened to be in the neighbor-
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hood...you know how the rest goes.
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I pulled up noticing that the lights were on and music playing
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loudly
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over Driver's stereo. The high volume was typical, but it didn't strike
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me as odd, until later, that the music had a definite martial sound to
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it, sort of like military parade music.
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Grinning to myself and planning to put a scare into Driver by
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crashing the party I moved quietly up to the front door, turned the knob
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and leaped into the living room screaming at the top of my lungs.
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Driver was definitely surprised. He jumped noticeably on the couch
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where he was tied, and I noticed his eyes widen above the gag that had
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been tied firmly in place.
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Hold it. Let's do a quick inventory. Driver tied and gagged on the
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couch. Military music, still, playing on the stereo. Next to the
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computer that was now displaying what looked suspiciously like a city
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- More (Y)/N/NS?
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map was a small banner showing a sword held in an armored fist. Also in
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the room were a few dozen cats, the typical house hold varieties, who
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were wearing these odd pack like objects strapped to thier persons.
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Standing next to the banner was a cat who was somewhat larger than the
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rest wearing his own pack plus something that looked like half armor and a
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helmet with goggles...continued...
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(REply Quit ?):
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Msg: #3086 Sec: 3 - TALL Tales
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07-Mar-89 04:04 PM
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Subj: The Felis Humano Wars II
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From: Thief Killer
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To: Cat Lovers
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Wait, back up. The large cat was standing,
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as in two legs,and it didn't seem to occur to him, as it did to me, that
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this was in any way peculiar. If he did find it strange, he covered it
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up quite well with his initial surprise at my entrance, then with the
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hastily uttered commands to the other cats in the room. As I saw the
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cats begin to react to my presence it occured to me that if I was going
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to have time to be surprised by these recent revelations I was going to
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have to do a good job of getting myself out of here.
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I turn-jumped back to the still open door behind me, my mind only
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half registering the silvery field that sprang up in front of it.
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It gaveslightly as I hit, and threw me forcibly back into the room. I'm
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glad my mind had half noticed it for that was all I needed to tuck and
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roll my way back to my feet.
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Oh boy. Technologically advanced cats. Just my day. My mind decided
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to let some of the surprise seep in as I stared at the barrier in ill-
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concealed shock.
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There was a high pitched chuckle behind me that I worked up the
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nerve to turn around and face. What I'm going to assume was the cat
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leader was facing me with his hands behind his back. Why did it bother
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me so to see a cat in this particular posture? He was talking to me, I
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should be listening.
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"...surrender seems to be the only option available to you, don't
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you agree?"
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- More (Y)/N/NS?
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His voice was oddly accented and, like I'd already noticed, high
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pitched, but it had a certain musical quality that made it sound
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slightly Oriental.
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"Oh come now!", he (I assume) said with some asperity, "You are out
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numbered and unarmed. Each one of my troops is armed with a high
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intensity flame thrower that will fry you where you stand much easier
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than the human fortifications that we plan on hitting tonight."
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His next comment clued me that my expressions were displaying my
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thoughts and that somehow this cat commander had learn to read human
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body language. continued...
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(REply Quit ?):
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Msg: #3087 Sec: 3 - TALL Tales
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07-Mar-89 04:06 PM
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Subj: The Felis-Humano Wars 3
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From: Thief Killer
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To: Cat Lovers
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"Faking surprise will avail you not. Do not try and disguise the
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fact that you came to spy and try to figure out someway to stop cat
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domination of this globe. On second thought it occurs to me that you
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are now much to dangerous to be allowed to live. Troopers, take this
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spy and the other human animal outside and incinerate them. Do it
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quickly, we are ready to launch the attack now and we have no time to
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waste."
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I'd been watching the cats with their flame throwers(?), and it
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dawned on me that they weren't really combat trained soldiers. They had
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just been recently impressed into service and the cat commander was de-
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pending on surprise to carry the night.
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It was really a shame he thought I was unarmed. I was hoping that
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their lack ofcombat-reflexes would play to my advantage as I pulled my
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machine pistol and let loose with automatic flechette rounds at the cats
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jostling for the honor of killing the first human in this war.
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Cats yowled and screamed as armor and muscle tearing slivers ripped
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into thier ranks. Many of the deadly flakes tore into the gel fuel packs
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that supplied the flame throwers. Since my rounds were non-incendiary no
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damage was done until one of the trigger happy tried to hose me. Then
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the fun started as the fuel ignited and some of the packs exploded
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spraying the interior of the mobile home with burning fuel.
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It wouldn't be until later that I learned that the concussion had
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overturned the couch and the thick material had saved Driver from being
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- More (Y)/N/NS?
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caught in the inferno. As I was busy trying to save my own hide I
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didn't feel bad about it until I'd dived for cover behind the kitchen
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counter. Let me tell you my conscience ate me up for a few seconds
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there. I'd even avoided shooting at the cat commander for the simple
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fact that he'd been standing too close to Driver and I probably would
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have caught him with some of the slivers as well.
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..continued...
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(REply Quit ?):
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Msg: #3088 Sec: 3 - TALL Tales
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07-Mar-89 04:10 PM
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Subj: The Felis-Humano Wars4
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From: Thief Killer
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To: Cat Lovers
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Smelling cooked cat, and what I assumed to be human, flesh and
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hearing the fire burn I figured now was the time to leave. Let the
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police and fire departments try and figure this one out. Looking at the
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back door and the windows I noticed that silvery field over them as
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well. Standing up I noticed the front door was still similarly
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protected. I also noticed that the fires were dying down quickly. Maybe
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there was something to all the advertising about the fire-resistant
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materials that went into the construction of modern homes.
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I still had two rounds left so I aimed at the field on the front
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door and squeezed. The field incresed in brightness as the slivers
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struck the field and...stuck there melting rapidly into white-hot
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liquid. Perhaps it would be feasible to consider turning the field off
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before I attempted an exit.
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I dropped heavily to the floor as pain exploded in my leg from a
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pencil thin beam of light. The cat commander stood up to his full 15"
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cradling a similarly scaled rifle in the crook of his right foreleg/arm.
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Flanking him on either side were two normal four footed cats with
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flamers and goggles. I recognized these two. They were Driver's own cats
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suddenly gone techno-punk. This was not good.
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"Before I kill you, animal," the commander sneered,"I will allow you
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to die with the satisfaction of knowing that you have completely
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thwarted our invasion plans. The world as you know it will be safe for
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a few more of our generations. Think of yourself as a hero."
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- More (Y)/N/NS?
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He took a step back, still covering me with the rifle, and depressed
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a key on the computer. The air next to him shimmered slightly and
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coalesced into a silvery circle about 2 feet across.
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..continued...
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(REply Quit ?):
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Msg: #3089 Sec: 3 - TALL Tales
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07-Mar-89 04:12 PM
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Subj: The Felis-Humano Wars5
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From: Thief Killer
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To: Cat Lovers
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He raised the rifle muzzle to the ceiling and said, "As one soldier
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to another, I salute you." and did this wierd cat thing with his tail.
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He then turned to Driver's two cats. "Lieutenants, finish him off and
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then prepare to gate through with me so I can show you how cats were
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truly meant to live."
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In desperation I dived back behind the kitchen counter and pushed
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against the barrier blocking the sliding glass doors. No luck. It didn't
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do more than give slightly.
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Hearing the cats moving closer, and not exactly relishing the idea
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of being burned to death. I slid quietly back to the corner of the
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counter and slid out both throwing spikes. Assuming correctly that I
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was dangerous the cats were moving carefully as well, but they weren't
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yet accustomed to the added bulk of the flamers and I could see thier
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crouching shadows cast by the silvery "gate" circle. As they were
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getting ready to pounce I threw one spike at the wall opposite my
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position. As the cats spun to confront the new sound-threat, the second
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spike quickly followed it into the fuel pack of one of the "lieutenants".
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Shaggra, was I glad I couldn't remember thier names right then. I
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didn't want to think of them as the cute cuddly furballs they had once
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been, but as the killer/soldiers they had become.
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I didn't know how the damnable flamers were triggered but I was
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depending on inexperience as I brought one hand down on the unspiked
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cat. Already spooked and jumpy he cut loose at the target that I made
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- More (Y)/N/NS?
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sure his body was aimed at. His fellow lieutenant.
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The exploding pack was close enough to me and the cat I held down
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that we both got singed as the others yowl was quickly silenced in the
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engulfing flames.
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..continued...
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(REply Quit ?):
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Msg: #3090 Sec: 3 - TALL Tales
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07-Mar-89 04:14 PM
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Subj: The Felis-Humano Wars6
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From: Thief Killer
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To: Cat Lovers
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The cat I held pulled a trick that all cats have known since they
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were first created. Somehow he managed to twist around in my grip and
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fasten his claws in my arm. I picked him and threw him bodily across
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the room, leaving deep bloody gashes in my arm, and through the waiting
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gate circle. He disappeared with an audible pop.
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The commander leveled his rifle at me and fired. The bright red
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beam missed, but my last flechette round didn't. His armor managed to
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stop most of it, but a few managed to tear flesh and the the rifle
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dropped from his now useless arm. He glared at me from the computer
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terminal.
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"I'll be back, human, but next time I'll have you fighting in the
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arena for the entertainment of the audiences back home."
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With that he stepped through the circle and disappeared. I let my
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shoulders slump and allowed myself to feel what damage had been done to
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me. It was then I heard muffled thumpings and yellings from behind the
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over turned couch. Tipping it back I was pleased to discover Driver
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just a little bit mussed from all the excitement. I began helping
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them up when I heard a thump behind me. Spinning around, half-expecting
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to see more soldier cats, I calmed down when I didn't see anyone. My
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attention was captured, however, by a small, round object that lay on
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the body litterd and burned floor near the still shimmering gate circle,
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hissing slightly.
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"The cat commander wouldn't be such a poor sport that he would throw
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- More (Y)/N/NS?
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a grenade back through the gate now would he?" I thought out loud.
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Not wanting the take any chances, I flipped the knife I still had left
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at it, and, catching it just right, watched it tumble back through the
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circle. I then reached over and turned the computer off watching with
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some satisfaction as the barrier fields and the gate circle shimmered
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into non-existence. After all, playing a game of inter-dimensional hot
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potato is something I save for the holidays...
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(REply Quit ?):
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