1308 lines
42 KiB
Plaintext
1308 lines
42 KiB
Plaintext
SCIENCE-FICTION DOUBLE-FEATURE
|
|
|
|
LIPS: Michael Rennie was ill the Day the Earth Stood Still,
|
|
But he told us where we stand.
|
|
And Flash Gordon was there in silver underwear;
|
|
Claude Rains was the Invisible Man.
|
|
Then something went wrong for Fay Wray and King Kong;
|
|
They got caught in a celluloid jam.
|
|
Then at a deadly pace It Came from Outer Space,
|
|
And this is how the message ran:
|
|
|
|
(REFRAIN)
|
|
Science-fiction double-feature,
|
|
Doctor X will build a creature.
|
|
See androids fighting Brad and Janet.
|
|
Anne Francis stars in 'Forbidden Planet'.
|
|
Oh oh oh oh oh
|
|
At the late-night, double-feature picture show.
|
|
|
|
I knew Leo G. Carroll was over a barrel
|
|
When Tarantula took to the hills.
|
|
And I really got hot when I saw Jeanette Scott
|
|
Fight a triffid that spits poison and kills.
|
|
Dana Andrews said prunes gave him the runes,
|
|
And passing them used lots of skills.
|
|
But When Worlds Collide said George Pal to his bride,
|
|
"I'm gonna give you some terrible thrills."
|
|
Like a...
|
|
|
|
(REFRAIN)
|
|
|
|
I wanna go, oh oh oh
|
|
To the late-night, double-feature picture show
|
|
By RKO, oh oh oh
|
|
To the late-night, double-feature picture show
|
|
In the back row, oh oh oh
|
|
To the late-night, double-feature picture show.
|
|
|
|
|
|
PHOTOGRAPHER: Here they come! (Dentonians cheer and throw rice)
|
|
Now I'd like the parents and the grandparents... yes,
|
|
all the close family... smile! Hold that! Beautiful!
|
|
And... (snaps picture) got it!
|
|
|
|
RALPH: Well, I guess we really did it, huh?
|
|
|
|
BRAD: I don't think there's any doubt about that. You and
|
|
Betty have been almost inseparable since you met in
|
|
Dr. Scott's refresher course.
|
|
|
|
RALPH: Well, to tell you the truth, Brad, that was the only
|
|
reason I showed up in the first place. (chuckles)
|
|
I mean...
|
|
|
|
BETTY: Okay, you guys, this is it! You ready? (Everyone screams)
|
|
|
|
RALPH: Well, looks like Betty's going to throw the bouquet.
|
|
|
|
JANET(catching bouquet): I got it! I got it!
|
|
|
|
RALPH: Hey big fella, looks like it could be your turn next,
|
|
eh?
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Who knows?
|
|
|
|
RALPH: Well, so long, see you Brad. Guess we'd better get
|
|
going now Betty. Come on, hop in! See you Brad!
|
|
(they drive away)
|
|
|
|
JANET: Oh Brad, wasn't it wonderful? Didn't Betty look
|
|
radiantly beautiful? Oh, I can't believe it. An hour
|
|
ago she was plain old Betty Monroe, and now... now
|
|
she's Mrs. Ralph Hapschatt. (sighs)
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Yes, Janet, Ralph's a lucky guy.
|
|
|
|
JANET: Yes.
|
|
|
|
DENTONIAN: I always cry at weddings.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Everyone knows that Betty's a wonderful little cook.
|
|
|
|
JANET: Yes.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Why Ralph himself, he'll be in line for a promotion
|
|
in a year or two.
|
|
|
|
JANET: Yes.
|
|
|
|
DAMMIT JANET
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Hey Janet...
|
|
|
|
JANET: Yes, Brad?
|
|
|
|
BRAD: I've got something to say.
|
|
|
|
JANET: Uh huh?
|
|
|
|
BRAD: I really love the... skillful way... you beat the other girls...
|
|
to the bride's bouquet.
|
|
|
|
JANET: Oh, oh Brad!
|
|
|
|
BRAD: The river was deep but I swam it; (Janet)
|
|
The future is ours so let's plan it; (Janet)
|
|
So please don't tell me to can it. (Janet)
|
|
I've one thing to say and that's dammit, Janet, I love you.
|
|
|
|
The road was long but I ran it; (Janet)
|
|
There's a fire in my heart and you fan it; (Janet)
|
|
If there's one fool for you then I am it. (Janet)
|
|
I've one thing to say and that's dammit, Janet, I love you.
|
|
|
|
Here's the ring to prove that I'm no joker.
|
|
There's three ways that love can grow.
|
|
That's good, bad or mediocre.
|
|
Oh, J-A-N-E-T I love you so!
|
|
|
|
JANET: Oh, it's nicer than Betty Monroe had! (Oh, Brad)
|
|
Now we're engaged and I'm so glad (Oh, Brad)
|
|
That you've met Mom and you know Dad. (Oh, Brad)
|
|
I've one thing to say and that's Brad, I'm mad for you, too.
|
|
|
|
Oh Brad...
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Oh, dammit...
|
|
|
|
JANET: I'm mad...
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Oh, Janet...
|
|
|
|
JANET: For you...
|
|
|
|
BRAD: I love you too...
|
|
|
|
BRAD & JANET: There's one thing left to do ah ooo!
|
|
|
|
BRAD: And that's go see the man who began it!(Janet)
|
|
When we met in his science exam, it (Janet)
|
|
Made me give you the eye and then panic. (Janet)
|
|
Now I've one thing to say and that's dammit, Janet, I love you.
|
|
|
|
Dammit, Janet...
|
|
|
|
JANET: Oh, Brad, I'm mad!
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Dammit, Janet...
|
|
|
|
BRAD & JANET: I love you!
|
|
|
|
NARRATOR: I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange
|
|
journey. It seemed a fairly ordinary night when Brad
|
|
Majors and his fiancee, Janet Weiss, two young, ordinary,
|
|
healthy kids, left Denton that late November evening to visit a
|
|
Dr. Everett Scott, ex-tutor, now friend to both. It's
|
|
true there were dark storm clouds, heavy, black and pendulous,
|
|
towards which they were driving. It's true also
|
|
that the spare tire they were carrying was badly in
|
|
need of some air. But they being normal kids on a
|
|
night out... Well, they were not going to let a storm
|
|
spoil the events of the evening. On a night
|
|
out... it was a night out they were going to remember
|
|
for a very long time.
|
|
|
|
NIXON (on the radio): I have never been a quitter. To leave
|
|
office before my term is completed is opposed to every
|
|
instinct in my body. But as president I must put the
|
|
interests of America first. America needs a full-time
|
|
president... and a full-time congress... particularly
|
|
at this time with the problems we face...
|
|
|
|
JANET: Gosh, that's the third motorcycle that's passed us.
|
|
They sure do take their lives in their hands, what with
|
|
the weather and all.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Yes, Janet, life's pretty cheap to that type.
|
|
|
|
JANET: What's the matter, Brad darling?
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Hmmm... We must have taken the wrong fork a few miles
|
|
back.
|
|
|
|
JANET: But then where did that motorcyclist come from?
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Hmmm... well, I guess we'll just have to turn back.
|
|
|
|
(Tire blows out)
|
|
|
|
JANET: Oh! What was that bang?
|
|
|
|
BRAD: We must have a blowout. Dammit! I knew I should
|
|
have gotten that spare tire fixed. Well, you just
|
|
stay here and keep warm and I'll go for help.
|
|
|
|
JANET: But where will you go in the middle of nowhere?
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Didn't we pass a castle back down the road a few miles?
|
|
Maybe they have a telephone I could use.
|
|
|
|
JANET: I'm going with you.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Oh, no, darling, there's no sense in both of us
|
|
getting wet.
|
|
|
|
JANET: I'm coming with you! Besides, darling, the owner
|
|
of that phone might be a beautiful woman, and you
|
|
might never come back again.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Heh heh heh heh...
|
|
|
|
OVER AT THE FRANKENSTEIN PLACE
|
|
|
|
JANET: In the velvet darkness of the blackest night,
|
|
Burning bright, there's a guiding star,
|
|
No matter what or who you are.
|
|
|
|
BRAD & JANET: There's a light...
|
|
|
|
CHORUS: Over at the Frankenstein place.
|
|
|
|
BRAD & JANET: There's a light...
|
|
|
|
CHORUS: Burning in the fireplace...
|
|
|
|
BRAD & JANET: There's a light, light in the darkness of
|
|
everybody's life.
|
|
|
|
RIFF RAFF: The darkness must go down the river of night's dreaming,
|
|
flow morphia slow, let the sun and light come streaming
|
|
into my life, into my life.
|
|
|
|
BRAD & JANET: There's a light...
|
|
|
|
CHORUS: Over at the Frankenstein place.
|
|
|
|
BRAD & JANET: There's a light...
|
|
|
|
CHORUS: Burning in the fireplace.
|
|
There's a light, a light...
|
|
|
|
BRAD & JANET: In the darkness of everybody's life.
|
|
|
|
NARRATOR: And so, it seemed that fortune had smiled on Brad and Janet,
|
|
and that they had found the assistance that their plight required...
|
|
or had they?
|
|
|
|
JANET: Brad, let's go back. I'm cold and I'm frightened...
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Just a moment, Janet, they may have a phone.
|
|
(Rings doorbell; door creaks open)
|
|
|
|
RIFF RAFF: Hello.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Hi! My name's Brad Majors... and this is my fiancee, Janet
|
|
Weiss. I wonder if you might help us. You see, our car
|
|
broke down a few miles up the road... do you have a phone we
|
|
might use?
|
|
|
|
RIFF RAFF: You're wet.
|
|
|
|
JANET: Yes... it's raining.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Yes.
|
|
|
|
RIFF RAFF: Yes... (flash of lightning reveals cycles) I think perhaps
|
|
you better both... come inside.
|
|
|
|
JANET: You're too kind. (they all enter) Oh, Brad, I'm frightened!
|
|
What kind of a place is this?
|
|
|
|
BRAD: It's probably some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos.
|
|
|
|
JANET: Oh.
|
|
|
|
RIFF: This way.
|
|
|
|
JANET: Are you having a party?
|
|
|
|
RIFF: You've arrived on a rather special night. It's one of the
|
|
Master's affairs.
|
|
|
|
JANET: Oh... lucky him.
|
|
|
|
MAGENTA(sliding down the bannister): You're lucky, he's lucky, I'm
|
|
lucky, we're all lucky! HA HA HA HA HA!
|
|
|
|
(clock sounds seven times)
|
|
|
|
THE TIME WARP
|
|
|
|
RIFF: It's astounding; time is fleeting.
|
|
Madness takes its toll.
|
|
But listen closely...
|
|
|
|
MAGENTA: Not for very much longer...
|
|
|
|
RIFF: I've got to keep control...
|
|
I remember doing the Time Warp.
|
|
Drinking those moments when
|
|
The blackness would hit me...
|
|
|
|
RIFF & MAGENTA: And a void would be calling...
|
|
|
|
(REFRAIN)
|
|
ALL : Let's do the Time Warp again!
|
|
Let's do the Time Warp again!
|
|
|
|
NARRATOR: It's just a jump to the left...
|
|
|
|
ALL : And then a step to right.
|
|
|
|
NARRATOR: With your hands on your hips...
|
|
|
|
ALL : You bring your knees in tight.
|
|
But it's the pelvic thrust
|
|
That really drives you insane.
|
|
|
|
Let's do the Time Warp again!
|
|
Let's do the Time Warp again!
|
|
|
|
MAGENTA: It's so dreamy... oh, fantasy free me!
|
|
So you can't see me... no, not at all!
|
|
In another dimension with voyeuristic intention,
|
|
Well secluded, I see all!
|
|
|
|
RIFF: With a bit of a mind flip...
|
|
|
|
MAGENTA: You're into the time-slip!
|
|
|
|
RIFF: And nothing can ever be the same.
|
|
|
|
MAGENTA: You're spaced out on sensation...
|
|
|
|
RIFF: Like you're under sedation!
|
|
|
|
ALL : Let's do the Time Warp again!
|
|
Let's do the Time Warp again!
|
|
|
|
COLUMBIA: Well, I was walking down the street just havin' a think,
|
|
When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink.
|
|
He shook me up, he took by surprise,
|
|
He had a pickup truck and the devil's eyes.
|
|
He stared at me and I felt a change;
|
|
Time meant nothin', never would again!
|
|
|
|
(REFRAIN)
|
|
|
|
(Columbia tap dances)
|
|
|
|
(REFRAIN- Everyone collapses at the end)
|
|
|
|
JANET: Brad, say something!
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Say... do any of you guys know how to Madison?
|
|
|
|
JANET: Brad, please, let's get out of here.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: For God's sake keep a grip on yourself, Janet.
|
|
|
|
JANET: But it... it seems so unhealthy here.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: It's just a party, Janet.
|
|
|
|
JANET: Well, I want to go.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Well we can't go anywhere until I get to a phone.
|
|
|
|
JANET: Well then ask the butler or someone!
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Just a moment, Janet... we don't want to interfere with their
|
|
celebration.
|
|
|
|
JANET: This isn't the Junior Chamber of Commerce, Brad.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: They're probably foreigners with ways different from our own.
|
|
They may do some more... folk dancing.
|
|
|
|
JANET: Look, I'm cold, I'm wet, and I'm just plain scared!
|
|
|
|
BRAD: I'm here- there's nothing to worry about. (they both turn around
|
|
and see Frank N. Furter)
|
|
|
|
|
|
SWEET TRANSVESTITE
|
|
|
|
FRANK: How'd you do I see you've met my faithful handyman.
|
|
He's just a little brought down because when you knocked,
|
|
He thought you were the candyman.
|
|
|
|
Don't get strung out by the way I look;
|
|
Don't judge a book by its cover.
|
|
I'm not much of a man by the light of day,
|
|
But by night I'm one hell of a lover!
|
|
|
|
I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania!
|
|
|
|
Let me show you around, maybe play you a sound;
|
|
You look like you are both pretty groovy.
|
|
Or if you want something visual , that's not too abysmal,
|
|
We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: I'm glad we caught you at home.
|
|
Could we use your phone?
|
|
We're both in a bit of a hurry.
|
|
|
|
JANET: Right.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: We'll just say where we are, then go back to the car.
|
|
We don't want to be any worry.
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Well, you got caught with a flat...
|
|
Well... how 'bout that?
|
|
Well, babies, don't you panic.
|
|
By the light of the night, it'll all seem alright,
|
|
I'll get you a satanic mechanic.
|
|
|
|
I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania.
|
|
|
|
Why don't you stay for the night?
|
|
|
|
RIFF, COLUMBIA & MAGENTA: Night!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Or maybe a bite?
|
|
|
|
RIFF, COLUMBIA & MAGENTA: Bite!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: I could show you my favorite obsession.
|
|
I've been makin' a man with blond hair and a tan,
|
|
And he's good for relievin' my tension.
|
|
|
|
I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania!
|
|
HIT IT! HIT IT!
|
|
I'm just a sweet transvestite...
|
|
|
|
RIFF, COLUMBIA & MAGENTA: Sweet transvestite!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: ...from Transsexual...
|
|
|
|
RIFF, COLUMBIA & MAGENTA: Transylvania!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: So come up to the lab and see what's on the slab.
|
|
I see you shiver with antici---pation.
|
|
But maybe the rain is really to blame.
|
|
So I'll remove the cause... but not the symptom!
|
|
|
|
(Janet and Brad are given towels)
|
|
|
|
JANET: Thank you.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Thank you very much.
|
|
|
|
JANET: Oh! Brad!
|
|
|
|
BRAD: It's alright Janet. We'll play along for now and pull out
|
|
the aces when the time's right.
|
|
|
|
COLUMBIA: Slowly, slowly, it's too nice a job to rush!
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Hi! My name's Brad Majors... this is my fiancee Janet Weiss.
|
|
You are, uh...
|
|
|
|
COLUMBIA: You're very lucky to be invited up to Frank's laboratory.
|
|
Some people would give their right arm for the priveledge.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: People like you maybe?
|
|
|
|
COLUMBIA: Ha! I've seen it! (throws the clothes; Brad and Janet try
|
|
to pick them up)
|
|
|
|
MAGENTA: Come along... the Master doesn't like to be kept waiting.
|
|
(brings them to elevator) Shift it! (Riff drops wine bottle)
|
|
|
|
JANET: Is he... Frank, I mean... Is he your husband?
|
|
|
|
RIFF: The Master is not yet married, nor do I think he ever will be.
|
|
We are simply his... servants.
|
|
|
|
JANET: Oh.
|
|
|
|
(Janet, then Brad leave the elevator; Riff brings wine glass to Frank;
|
|
Magenta and Columbia stand behind Brad and Janet)
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Magenta! Columbia! Go and assist Riff Raff. I will entertain...
|
|
Uh...um...uh (chuckles)
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Brad Majors. And this is my fiancee, Janet Veiss.
|
|
|
|
JANET: Weiss!
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Weiss? (clears throat)
|
|
|
|
FRANK(kissing Janet's hand): Enchante! Well... how nice! And what
|
|
charming underclothes you both have. But here... put these on.
|
|
They'll make you feel less... vulnerable. It's not often we
|
|
receive visitors here, let alone offer them... hospitality.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Hospitality?!? All we wanted to do was to use your telephone,
|
|
goddammit, a reasonable request, which you've chosen to ignore!
|
|
|
|
JANET: Brad, don't be ungrateful!
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Ungrateful? (removes his glasses)
|
|
|
|
FRANK: How forceful you are Brad... such a perfect specimen of manhood...
|
|
so... dominant. (crowd laughs) You must be awfully proud of him,
|
|
Janet.
|
|
|
|
JANET: Well, yes, I am!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Do you have any tattoos, Brad?
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Certainly not.
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Oh, well... how 'bout you?
|
|
|
|
(Janet giggles)
|
|
|
|
RIFF: Everything is in readiness, Master. We merely await your word.
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Tonight, my unconventional conventionalists, you are to witness
|
|
a new breakthrough in biochemical research... and paradise is
|
|
to be mine! It was strange the way it happened... suddenly you
|
|
get a break... all the pieces seem to fit into place... not a
|
|
sign of being... what a fool! The answer was there all the time...
|
|
it took a small accident to make it happen... an ACCIDENT!
|
|
And that's how I discovered the secret, that elusive ingredient,
|
|
that SPARK that is the breath of life. Yes... I have that knowledge...
|
|
I hold the secret... to life... itself! (Applause) You see,
|
|
you are fortunate... for tonight is the night... that my beautiful
|
|
creature is destined to be BORN! (Magenta and Columbia take hold
|
|
of the cloth) UP NOW! Throw open the switches on the sonic
|
|
oscillator... and step up the reactor power input... THREE MORE
|
|
POINTS! (Apparatus is lowered by Riff;)
|
|
|
|
JANET: Oh, Brad!
|
|
|
|
BRAD: It's alright, Janet.
|
|
|
|
(Frank pours in liquids in order red, orange, yellow, green,
|
|
blue, indigo and violet; Rocky stands up; face covering is
|
|
is removed by Riff) Oh, Rocky!
|
|
|
|
THE SWORD OF DAMOCLES
|
|
|
|
ROCKY: The sword of Damocles is hanging over my head,
|
|
And I've got the feeling someone's gonna be cuttin' the thread.
|
|
Oh, woe is me; my life is a misery, oh, can't you see
|
|
That I'm at the start of a pretty big downer.
|
|
|
|
I woke up this morning with a start when I fell out of bed.
|
|
|
|
ALL : That ain't no crime!
|
|
|
|
ROCKY: And left from my dreaming was a feeling of unnameable dread.
|
|
|
|
ALL : That ain't no crime!
|
|
|
|
ROCKY: My high is low, I'm dressed up with no place to go,
|
|
And all I know is I'm at the start of a pretty big downer.
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Oh, Rocky!
|
|
|
|
(REFRAIN)
|
|
ALL : Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime!
|
|
|
|
ROCKY: Oh no, no, no!
|
|
|
|
ALL : Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime!
|
|
|
|
ROCKY: Oh no, no, no!
|
|
|
|
ALL: Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime, ain't no crime!
|
|
|
|
ROCKY: The sword of Damocles is hanging over my head.
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Well, really!
|
|
|
|
ALL : That ain't no crime!
|
|
|
|
ROCKY: And I've got the feeling someone's gonna be cutting the thread.
|
|
|
|
ALL : That ain't no crime!
|
|
|
|
ROCKY: Oh, woe is me; my life is a mystery, and can't you see
|
|
That I'm at the start of a pretty big downer!
|
|
|
|
(Repeat REFRAIN two times)
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Well, really! That's no way to behave on your first day out!
|
|
(Rocky is saddened) But, since you're such an exceptional
|
|
beauty, I am prepared to forgive you. Oh, I just love success!
|
|
|
|
RIFF: He's a credit to your genius, Master.
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Yes!
|
|
|
|
MAGENTA: A triumph of your will!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Yes!
|
|
|
|
COLUMBIA: He's okay!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Okay? (hits tank) OKAY?!? I think we can do better than that!
|
|
Humph! Well, Brad and Janet... what do you think of him?
|
|
|
|
JANET: Well, I don't like men with too many muscles.
|
|
|
|
FRANK: I didn't make him... FOR YOU! He carries the Charles Atlas seal
|
|
of approval!
|
|
|
|
CHARLES ATLAS SONG
|
|
|
|
FRANK: A weakling weighing ninety-eight pounds
|
|
Will get sand in his face when kicked to the ground.
|
|
And soon in the gym with a determined chin,
|
|
The sweat from his pores as he works for his cause
|
|
Will make him glisten and gleam,
|
|
And with massage and just a little bit steam,
|
|
He'll be pink and quite clean!
|
|
He'll be a strong man, oh, honey...
|
|
|
|
ALL : But the wrong man!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: He'll eat nutritious high protein and swallow raw eggs;
|
|
Try to build up his shoulders, his chest, arms and legs
|
|
Such an effort, if he only knew of my plan...
|
|
In just seven days, I can make you a (with Transylvanians) man.
|
|
|
|
He'll do press-ups and sit-ups, do the snatch, clean and jerk.
|
|
He thinks dynamic tension must be hard work.
|
|
Such strenuous living I just don't understand
|
|
When in just seven days, oh baby, I can make you a man.
|
|
|
|
(Door to deep freeze opens)
|
|
|
|
COLUMBIA: EDDIE!
|
|
|
|
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO SATURDAY NIGHT?
|
|
|
|
EDDIE: Whatever happened to Saturday night,
|
|
When you dressed up sharp and you felt alright?
|
|
It don't seem the same since cosmic light came into my life;
|
|
I thought I was divine.
|
|
I used to go for a ride with a chick who'd go
|
|
And listen to the music on the radio
|
|
A saxophone was blowin' on a rock-n-roll show;
|
|
You climbed in the back seat, really had a good time!
|
|
|
|
(REFRAIN)
|
|
Hot patootie, bless my soul, really love that rock-n-roll!
|
|
(four times)
|
|
|
|
My head it used to swim from the perfume I smelled.
|
|
My hands kinda fumbled with her white plastic belt.
|
|
I'd taste her baby pink lipstick and that's when I'd melt.
|
|
She'd whisper in my ear tonight she really was mine.
|
|
Get back in front, put some hair oil on,
|
|
Buddy Holly was singin' his very last song;
|
|
With your arms around your girl you try to sing along.
|
|
It felt pretty good- WOO! -really had a good time!
|
|
|
|
(Repeat REFRAIN three times)
|
|
|
|
(Frank attacks Eddie with alpinist's pick)
|
|
|
|
FRANK: One from the vaults! (Rocky bangs on his cage) Oh, baby!
|
|
Don't be upset; it was a mercy killing! He had a certain
|
|
naive charm... but no muscle! (Rocky shows his) Oh!
|
|
|
|
CHARLES ATLAS SONG (REPRISE)
|
|
|
|
FRANK: But a deltoid and a bicep, a hot groin and a tricep
|
|
makes me, oooooooh, shake,
|
|
makes me wanna take Charles Atlas by the ha-a-and.
|
|
|
|
FRANK & TRANS.: In just seven days (FRANK: Oh, baby!), I can make you a man!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: I don't want no dissension, just dynamic tension!
|
|
|
|
JANET: I'm a muscle fan!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: In just seven days, I can make you a man,
|
|
Dig it if you can!
|
|
In just seven days, I can make you a man!
|
|
|
|
TRANS.: Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah! (repeat)
|
|
|
|
NARRATOR: There are those who say that life is an illusion, and that
|
|
reality is but a figment of the imagination. If this is so,
|
|
then Brad and Janet are quite safe. However, the sudden departure
|
|
of their host and his... creation into the seclusion of his
|
|
somber bridal suite, had left them feeling both apprehensive and
|
|
uneasy, a feeling which grew as the other guests departed, and
|
|
they were shown to their separate rooms.
|
|
|
|
(Janet is shown to a pink room; Magenta and Riff watch;
|
|
Brad is shown to blue room)
|
|
|
|
(knock on door)
|
|
|
|
JANET: Uhh! Who is it? Who's there?
|
|
|
|
"BRAD": It's only me, Janet.
|
|
|
|
JANET: Oh, Brad darling, come in! Oh! Brad! Oh, yes, my darling,
|
|
but what if...
|
|
|
|
"BRAD": It's alright, Janet; everything's going to be alright.
|
|
|
|
JANET: Oh, I hope so, my darling. Oh...ah... (removes Frank's
|
|
wig) OHHH! It's you!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: I'm afraid so, Janet, but isn't it nice?
|
|
|
|
JANET: Oh, you beast, you monster! Oh, what have you done with Brad?
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Oh, well... nothing. Why do you think I should?
|
|
|
|
JANET: You tricked me... I wouldn't have... I've never... never...
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Yes, yes, I know... but it isn't all bad is it? I think you
|
|
really found it quite pleasureable.
|
|
|
|
JANET: Oh, stop... I mean, help... oh, Brad... oh BRAD!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Shhh! Brad's probably asleep by now. Do you want him to see
|
|
you... like THIS?
|
|
|
|
JANET: Like this? Like how? It's your fault... you're to blame...
|
|
Oh... I was saving myself.
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Well... I'm sure you're not spent yet.
|
|
|
|
JANET: Promise you won't tell Brad?
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Cross my heart and hope to die!
|
|
|
|
(Riff scares Rocky, who runs away)
|
|
|
|
"JANET": Oh, Brad darling, it's no good here. It'll destroy us!
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Don't worry, Janet. We'll be away from here in the morning.
|
|
|
|
"JANET": Oh, Brad, you're so strong and protective.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Ah, ah, ah, ah... YOU!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: I'm afraid so, Brad... but isn't it nice?
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Why you... What have you done with Janet?
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Nothing... why, do you think I should?
|
|
|
|
BRAD: You tricked me, I wouldn't have... I've never never... never...
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Oh, yes... yes, I know... but it isn't all bad, is it? Not
|
|
even half bad. I think you really quite enjoyed it. Oh... so soft...
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Stop... Stop... oh, Janet... JANET!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Shhh! Janet's probably asleep by now... do you want her to see
|
|
you... like THIS?
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Like this? Like how? It's your fault; you're to blame. I
|
|
thought it was the real thing!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Oh, come on, Brad, admit it; you liked it, didn't you?
|
|
There's no crime in giving yourself over to pleasure, Brad.
|
|
We've wasted so much time already... Janet needn't know.
|
|
I won't tell her.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Well, you promise you won't tell...
|
|
|
|
FRANK: On my mother's grallllbbb....
|
|
|
|
(BEEPBEEPBEEP...)
|
|
|
|
RIFF(On monitor): Master, Rocky has broken his chains and vanished.
|
|
The new playmate is loose and somewhere on the castle grounds.
|
|
Magenta has just released the dogs.
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Hmmm? Coming!
|
|
|
|
JANET: What's happening here? Where's Brad? Where's anybody?
|
|
|
|
(Rocky is chased by dogs)
|
|
|
|
JANET: Oh, Brad! Brad, my darling! How could I have done this to you?
|
|
If only we hadn't made this journey... if only the car hadn't
|
|
broken down... if only we were amongst friends! Or sane persons.
|
|
Oh, Brad... What have they done with him? Oh, Brad... Oh, Brad...
|
|
How could you?
|
|
|
|
(A groan is heard)
|
|
|
|
JANET: Oh, but you're hurt. Did they do this to you? (Rocky nods,
|
|
Janet rips her slip) Here, I'll dress your wounds... baby there...
|
|
|
|
NARRATOR: "Emotion: agitation or disturbance of mind... Vehement
|
|
or excited mental state." It is also a powerful and irrational
|
|
master... and from what Magenta and Columbia eagerly viewed on
|
|
their television monitor, there seemed little doubt that Janet
|
|
was indeed... its slave.
|
|
|
|
MAGENTA & COLUMBIA: Tell us about it, Janet!
|
|
|
|
TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH ME
|
|
|
|
JANET: I was feeling done in, couldn't win,
|
|
I'd only ever kissed before.
|
|
|
|
COLUMBIA: You mean she...
|
|
|
|
MAGENTA: Uh huh.
|
|
|
|
JANET: I thought there's no use getting into heaving petting;
|
|
It only leads to trouble and... seat wetting.
|
|
Now all I want to know is how to go.
|
|
I've tasted blood and I want more.
|
|
|
|
MAGENTA & COLUMBIA: More, more, more!
|
|
|
|
JANET: I'll put up no resistance; I want to stay the distance.
|
|
I've got an itch to scratch; I need assistance.
|
|
|
|
(REFRAIN)
|
|
Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me
|
|
I want to be dirty!
|
|
Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me,
|
|
Creature of the night!
|
|
|
|
JANET: Then if anything grows while you pose,
|
|
I'll oil you up and drop you down.
|
|
|
|
MAGENTA & COLUMBIA: Down, down, down!
|
|
JANET: And that's just one small fraction of the main attraction;
|
|
You need a friendly hand, oh, and I need action!
|
|
|
|
(Janet sings refrain, then Columbia and Magenta sing it alternating
|
|
lines, and Janet sings it again)
|
|
|
|
ROCKY: Creature of the night.
|
|
BRAD: Creature of the night?
|
|
FRANK: Creature of the night.
|
|
MAGENTA: Creature of the night.
|
|
RIFF: Creature of the night.
|
|
COLUMBIA: Creature of the night.
|
|
ROCKY: Creature of the night.
|
|
JANET: Creature of the night!
|
|
|
|
RIFF(Being whipped): Mercy!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: How did it happen? I understood you were to be watching!
|
|
|
|
RIFF: I was only away for a minute... Master.
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Well, see if you can find him... on the monitor!
|
|
|
|
RIFF: Master... Master... we have a visitor.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Hey, Scotty! Dr. Everett Scott!
|
|
|
|
RIFF: You know this Earthling... this person?
|
|
|
|
BRAD: I most certainly do! He happens to be an old friend of mine.
|
|
|
|
FRANK: I see! So this wasn't simply a chance meeting. You came
|
|
here... with a purpose!
|
|
|
|
BRAD: I told you my car broke down... I was telling the truth.
|
|
|
|
FRANK: I know what you told me, Brad... but this Dr. Everett Scott...
|
|
his name is not unknown to me.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: He was a science teacher at Denton High School.
|
|
|
|
FRANK: And now he works for your government, doesn't he Brad? He's
|
|
attached to the bureau of investigation of that which you call
|
|
UFO's! Isn't that right, Brad?
|
|
|
|
BRAD: He might be... (Frank threatens him with whip) I don't know!
|
|
|
|
RIFF: The intruder is entering the building, Master.
|
|
|
|
FRANK: He'll probably be in... in the Zen room! Shall we inquire of
|
|
him in person? (turns on the triple-contact electro-magnet)
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Great Scott!
|
|
|
|
DR. SCOTT: Frank N. Furter... we meet at last.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Dr. Scott!
|
|
|
|
SCOTT: Brad... what are you doing here?
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Don't play games, Dr. Scott. You know perfectly well what
|
|
Brad Majors is doing here. It was part of your plan, was it
|
|
not? That he and his female should check the layout for you.
|
|
Well, unfortunately for you all, the plans are to be
|
|
changed. I have been adaptable, Dr. Scott... I know Brad is.
|
|
|
|
SCOTT: I can assure you that Brad's presence here comes as a
|
|
complete surprise to me. I came here to find Eddie.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Eddie? I've seen him.
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Eddie? What do you know of Eddie, Dr. Scott?
|
|
|
|
SCOTT: I happen to know a great deal about a lot of things. You
|
|
see, Eddie happens to be my nephew!
|
|
|
|
(Frank gasps and turns off the magnet)
|
|
|
|
JANET: OHHH!
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Dr. Scott...
|
|
|
|
(Repeat the following up to 'FRANK: Rocky!' three times)
|
|
|
|
SCOTT: Janet!
|
|
|
|
JANET: Dr. Scott!
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Janet!
|
|
|
|
JANET: Brad!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Rocky!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Listen... I made you... and I can break you just as easily!
|
|
|
|
MAGENTA(sounds gong): Master! Dinner is prepared!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Excellent! Under the circumstances, formal dress is to be optional.
|
|
|
|
NARRATOR: Food has always played a vital role in life's rituals. The
|
|
breaking of bread, the last meal of the condemned man, and now...
|
|
this meal. However informal it might appear, you can be sure
|
|
that there was to be very little bonhommie.
|
|
|
|
(Dinner is brought in by Riff and Magenta; Frank slices it with
|
|
an electric knife)
|
|
|
|
FRANK: A toast... to absent friends...
|
|
|
|
ALL : To absent friends.
|
|
|
|
FRANK: ...and... Rocky! (Frank starts everyone singing 'Happy Birthday',
|
|
stops after 'Dear Rocky', and cuts everyone else off) Shall we?
|
|
|
|
SCOTT: We came here to discuss Eddie.
|
|
|
|
COLUMBIA: EDDIE! (Frank threatens her with electric knife)
|
|
|
|
FRANK: That's a rather tender subject... another slice, anyone?
|
|
|
|
COLUMBIA: Excuse me. (leaves room and screams)
|
|
|
|
SCOTT: I knew he was with a bad crowd, but it was worse than I
|
|
imagined... Aliens!
|
|
|
|
ROCKY: Uhnn?
|
|
|
|
BRAD & JANET: Dr. Scott!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Go on, Dr. Scott... or should I say... Dr. Von Scott?
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Just what exactly are you implying?
|
|
|
|
SCOTT: It's all right!
|
|
|
|
BRAD: But Dr. Scott!
|
|
|
|
SCOTT: That's all right, Brad.
|
|
|
|
EDDIE
|
|
|
|
SCOTT: From the day he was born, he was trouble.
|
|
He was the thorn in his mother's side.
|
|
She tried in vain...
|
|
|
|
NARRATOR: But he never caused her nothing but shame.
|
|
|
|
SCOTT: He left home the day she died.
|
|
From the day she was gone, all he wanted
|
|
Was rock-n-roll porn und a motor bike
|
|
Shooting up junk...
|
|
|
|
NARRATOR: He was a lowdown, cheap little punk!
|
|
|
|
SCOTT: Taking everyone for the ride.
|
|
|
|
(REFRAIN)
|
|
ALL : When Eddie said he didn't like his teddy,
|
|
You knew he was a no good kid.
|
|
But when he threatened your life with a switchblade knife...
|
|
FRANK: What a guy!
|
|
JANET: Makes you cry...
|
|
SCOTT: Und I did.
|
|
|
|
COLUMBIA: Everybody shoved him; I very nearly loved him.
|
|
I said, 'Hey, listen to me; stay sane inside insanity!'
|
|
But he locked the door and threw away the key.
|
|
|
|
SCOTT: But he must have been drawn into something,
|
|
Making him warn me in a note which reads:
|
|
|
|
EDDIE: I'm out of my hed, oh, hurry, or I may be dead;
|
|
They musn't carry out their evil deeds!
|
|
|
|
(Repeat refrain twice)
|
|
|
|
(Franks rips off tablecloth, revealing Eddie's body; Janet
|
|
screams and runs into Rocky's arms)
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Oh, Rocky! How... can you? (slaps Janet, chases her out of
|
|
the room; Scott and Brad follow)
|
|
|
|
SCOTT: This way! This way! (Riff and Magenta laugh)
|
|
|
|
RIFF: Shut up!
|
|
|
|
PLANET, SCHMANET, JANET!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: I'll tell you once, I won't tell you twice.
|
|
You'd better wise up Janet Weiss.
|
|
Your apple pie don't taste too nice!
|
|
You'd better wise up, Janet Weiss!
|
|
|
|
I've laid the seed, it should be all you need.
|
|
You're as sensual as a pencil, wound up like an E or first string.
|
|
When we made it did you hear a bell ring?
|
|
|
|
You got a block? Well, take my advice:
|
|
You'd better wise up, Janet Weiss!
|
|
The transducer will seduce ya!
|
|
|
|
(SPOKEN)
|
|
|
|
JANET: My feet... I can't move my feet!
|
|
|
|
SCOTT: My wheels... my God, I can't move my wheels!
|
|
|
|
BRAD: It's as if we're glued to the spot!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: You are! So quake with fear you tiny fools!
|
|
|
|
JANET: We're trapped!
|
|
|
|
FRANK(sung): It's something you'll get used to! A mental mind fuck
|
|
can be nice!
|
|
|
|
SCOTT: You won't find Earth people quite the easy mark you imagine.
|
|
This sonic transducer, it is, I suppose some kind of audio-
|
|
vibratri-physio-molecular transport device?
|
|
|
|
BRAD: You mean...
|
|
|
|
SCOTT: Yes, Brad, it's something we ourselves have been working on
|
|
for quite some time. But it seems our friend here has found a
|
|
means of perfecting it. A device which is capable of breaking
|
|
down solid matter and then projecting it through space, and,
|
|
who knows? perhaps even time itself!
|
|
|
|
JANET: You mean... he's going to send us to another planet?
|
|
|
|
(SUNG)
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Planet, schmanet, Janet!
|
|
You'd better wise, Janet Weiss!
|
|
You'd better wise up, build your thighs up.
|
|
You'd better wise up...
|
|
|
|
NARRATOR: And then she cried out...
|
|
|
|
JANET: STOP!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Don't get hot and flustered; use a bit of mustard!
|
|
|
|
BRAD: You're a hot dog, but you'd better not try to hurt her, Frank Furter.
|
|
(Brad is frozen)
|
|
|
|
SCOTT: You're a hot dog, but you'd better not try to hurt her, Frank Furter.
|
|
(Scott is frozen)
|
|
|
|
JANET: You're a hot dog-- (Janet is frozen)
|
|
|
|
COLUMBIA: My God! I can't stand any more of this! First you spurn
|
|
me for Eddie, and then you throw him off like an old overcoat for
|
|
Rocky! You chew people up and then you spit them out again! I
|
|
loved you... ya hear me, I loved you! And what did it get me?
|
|
Yeah, I'll tell you: a big nothing. You're like a sponge,
|
|
you take, take, take and drain others of their love and emotion.
|
|
Yeah, well, I've had enough! You're gonna choose between me and
|
|
Rocky, so named cause of the rocks in his head! (Columbia is frozen)
|
|
|
|
FRANK: It's not easy having a good time... (Rocky is frozen) Even
|
|
smiling makes my face ache... and my children turn on me...
|
|
Rocky's behaving just the way that Eddie did... Do you think I made
|
|
a mistake, splitting his brain between the two of them?
|
|
|
|
MAGENTA: AHHHHH! I grow weary of this world! When shall we return to
|
|
Transylvania, huh?
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Magenta, I am indeed grateful to both you and your brother
|
|
Riff Raff. You have both served me well. Loyalty such as
|
|
yours shall not go unrewarded. You will discover that when
|
|
the mood takes me, I can be quite generous.
|
|
|
|
MAGENTA: I ask for nothing... Master.
|
|
|
|
FRANK: And you shall receive it... in abundance! Come! We are
|
|
ready for the floorshow!
|
|
|
|
NARRATOR: And so, by some extraordinary coincidence, fate, it seemed,
|
|
had decided that Brad and Janet should keep that appointment
|
|
with their friend, Dr. Everett Scott. But it was to be in a
|
|
situation which none of them could have possibly foreseen. And,
|
|
just a few hours after announcing their engagement, Brad and
|
|
Janet had both tasted... forbidden fruit. This in itself was
|
|
proof that their host was a man of little morals... and some
|
|
persuasion. What further indignities were they to be subjected
|
|
to? And what of the floorshow? In an empty house? In the
|
|
middle of the night? What diabolical plan had seized Frank's
|
|
crazed imagination? What indeed? From what had gone before,
|
|
it was clear that this was to be... NO picnic.
|
|
|
|
ROSE TINT MY WORLD
|
|
|
|
COLUMBIA(unfrozen): It was great when it all began;
|
|
I was a regular Frankie fan.
|
|
But it was over when he had the plan
|
|
To start a-workin' on a muscle man.
|
|
Now the only thing that gives me hope
|
|
Is my love of a certain dope.
|
|
Rose tints my world and keeps me safe from my trouble and pain.
|
|
|
|
ROCKY(unfrozen): I'm just seven hours old,
|
|
Truly beautiful to behold.
|
|
And somebody should be told
|
|
My libido hasn't been controlled.
|
|
Now the only thing I've come to trust
|
|
Is an orgasmic rush of lust.
|
|
Rose tints my world and keeps me safe from my trouble and pain.
|
|
|
|
BRAD(unfrozen): It's beyond me; help me, Mommy!
|
|
I'll be good, you'll see; take this dream away!
|
|
What's this? Let's see... I feel sexy.
|
|
What's come over me? WOOO! Here it comes again!
|
|
|
|
JANET(unfrozen): Woh-oh! I feel released, bad times deceased;
|
|
My confidence has increased; reality is here!
|
|
The game has been disbanded; my mind has been expanded!
|
|
It's a gas that Frankie's landed! His lust is so sincere!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Whatever happened... to Fay Wray? That delicate, satin draped frame...
|
|
As it clung to her thigh, how I started to cry,
|
|
'Cause I wanted to be dressed just the same.
|
|
|
|
Give yourself over to absolute pleasure!
|
|
Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh!
|
|
Erotic nightmares beyond any measure,
|
|
And sensual daydreams to treasure forever!
|
|
Can't you just see it? Woh oh oh!
|
|
|
|
Don't dream it; be it! (four times)
|
|
|
|
ALL : Don't dream it; be it! (ten times)
|
|
|
|
SCOTT(After the fifth time): Ach! We've got to get out of this trap
|
|
Before this decadence saps our wills!
|
|
I've got to be strong und try to hang on,
|
|
Or else my mind may well snap!
|
|
Und my life will be lived... for the thrills!
|
|
|
|
BRAD: It's beyond me; help me, Mommy...
|
|
|
|
JANET: God bless Lily St. Cyr!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: MY, MY, MY, MY, MY, MY, MY, MY, MY, MY, MY, MY, MY!
|
|
I'm a wild and an untamed thing!
|
|
I'm a bee with a deadly sting!
|
|
You get a hit and your mind goes ping!
|
|
Your heart'll thump and you blood will sing!
|
|
So let the party and the sounds rock on!
|
|
We're gonna shake it 'til the life has gone!
|
|
Rose tint my world and keep me safe from my trouble and pain!
|
|
|
|
ALL(sung twice): We're a wild and an untamed thing!
|
|
We're a bee with a deadly sting!
|
|
You get a hit and your mind goes ping!
|
|
Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing!
|
|
So let the party and the sounds rock on!
|
|
We're gonna shake it 'til the life has (1) gone! (2) gone, gone, gone!
|
|
Rose tint my world, keep me safe from my trouble and pain!
|
|
|
|
RIFF: Frank N. Furter, it's all over!
|
|
Your mission is a failure! Your lifestyle's too extreme!
|
|
I'm your new commander, you now are my prisoner!
|
|
We return to Transylvania; prepare the transit beam!
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Wait! I can explain!
|
|
|
|
I'M GOING HOME
|
|
|
|
FRANK: On the day I went away...
|
|
|
|
ALL : Goodbye...
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Was all I had to say...
|
|
|
|
ALL : Now I...
|
|
|
|
FRANK: I want to come again... and stay...
|
|
|
|
ALL : Oh, my, my...
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Smile and that will mean I may!
|
|
'Cause I've seen, oh, blue skies through the tears in my eyes,
|
|
And I realise... I'm going home.
|
|
|
|
ALL: I'm going home...
|
|
|
|
FRANK: Everywhere... it's been the same...
|
|
|
|
ALL : ...feeling...
|
|
|
|
FRANK: ... like I'm outside in the rain...
|
|
|
|
ALL : ...wheeling...
|
|
|
|
FRANK: ...free to try and find a game...
|
|
|
|
ALL : ...dealing...
|
|
|
|
FRANK: ...cards for sorrow, cards for pain.
|
|
'Cause I've seen, oh, blue skies through the tears in my eyes,
|
|
And I realise... I'm going home...
|
|
|
|
ALL : I'm going home... I'm going home... I'm going home!
|
|
|
|
(applause)
|
|
|
|
MAGENTA: How sentimental.
|
|
|
|
RIFF: And also presumptuous of you. You see, when I said we were to
|
|
return to Transylvania, I referred only to Magenta and myself.
|
|
I'm sorry, however, if you found my words misleading... but you
|
|
see, you are to remain here... in spirit, anyway.
|
|
|
|
SCOTT: Great heavens! That's a laser!
|
|
|
|
RIFF: Yes, Dr. Scott, a laser capable of emitting a beam of pure anti-matter.
|
|
|
|
BRAD: You mean... you're going to kill him? What's his crime?
|
|
|
|
SCOTT: You saw what became of Eddie... society must be paid.
|
|
|
|
RIFF: Exactly, Dr. Scott. And now, Frank N. Furter, your time has come.
|
|
Say goodbye to all of this... and hello... to oblivion.
|
|
|
|
(Columbia screams and is shot, Frank is shot, Rocky picks up
|
|
Frank's body and climbs the RKO Radio tower, which falls into
|
|
the pool, killing Rocky)
|
|
|
|
BRAD: Good God!
|
|
|
|
JANET: OH! You killed them!
|
|
|
|
MAGENTA: But I thought you liked them... they liked you.
|
|
|
|
RIFF: They didn't like me! He never liked me!
|
|
|
|
SCOTT: You did right.
|
|
|
|
RIFF: A decision had to be made...
|
|
|
|
SCOTT: You're okay by me!
|
|
|
|
RIFF: Dr. Scott, I'm sorry about your... nephew.
|
|
|
|
SCOTT: Eddie? Yes, well, perhaps it was all for the best, heh heh heh.
|
|
|
|
RIFF: You should leave now, Dr. Scott, while it is still possible.
|
|
We are about to beam the entire house back to the planet of Transsexual,
|
|
in the galaxy of Transylvania. Go... NOW!
|
|
|
|
Our mission is almost completed, my most ...beautiful sister, and
|
|
soon we shall return to the moon-drenched shores of our beloved planet.
|
|
|
|
MAGENTA: Ah... Sweet Transsexual, land of night... to sing and dance once
|
|
more to your dark refrains... to take that step to the right...
|
|
|
|
RIFF: But it's the pelvic thrust...
|
|
|
|
TRANSYLVANIANS: ...that really drives you insane!
|
|
|
|
MAGENTA: On our world, we'll do the Time Warp again!
|
|
|
|
(The house is shown taking off)
|
|
|
|
NARRATOR: And crawling... on the planet's face,
|
|
Some insects called the human race.
|
|
Lost in time... and lost in space... and meaning.
|
|
|
|
ALL : Meaning.
|