textfiles/sf/XFILES/theylove

Hi all,

This story is a pseudo-crossover (ripoff?) with a popular SF film.  Which 
one? well, you should be able to tell that from the title.  This is also my 
first attempt at a (somewhat) "straight" story, and therefore any and all 
comments would be welcome in that regard.

All characters and situations, real or imagined, are used without permission.
Hopefully, no one will sue me. :)

Here follows "They Love", by Steven Han, 8/9/1994.  Enjoy!



----------------------------------------------------------------------------

7:55 a.m.
Monday Morning
FBI Headquarters


Scully walked into the basement office, dressed for another day of
investigative work.  She looked over to the side of the room, and saw 
Mulder kneeling in front of a TV monitor.  "Morning, Mulder", she said, 
as she put her portfolio down on her desk.  She looked over at Mulder again
and asked, "What's so interesting, Mulder? get another shipment from your 
adult-video-of-the-month club?"

"Joke all you want, Scully - I think I'm on to something here.", said
Mulder, as he reached down to the VCR to rewind the tape.

"What is it this time, Mulder?  Vampires?  Little men from the center of
the earth?", snickered Scully, sitting down at her desk.

"No, it's much bigger than that, Scully", said Mulder, getting up.  He
motioned to Scully and said, "Scully, come here, I'd like you to see this."

Scully, who had just gotten comfortable in her chair, groaned and got up 
to join Mulder by the monitor.  She looked at him wryly and asked, "So, 
Mulder, who is it you're chasing today?"

"Just look at the monitor, Scully - it's the ultimate evil force of the
twentieth century." said Mulder, as he pressed the 'Play' button.

Scully looked at the monitor, and shook her head.  "Mulder, that's Barney 
and Friends! is this another joke?", she asked incredulously.

"Scully, you're not taking this seriously.  I happen to believe Barney is 
a tremendously evil influence upon our youth.  And I think he's using 
unnatural means to achieve his aims.  I think we should investigate."

Scully looked at Mulder, expecting him to crack a smile at any moment.
Mulder's expression, though, was dead serious, and after a while, she
realized that he was not joking.  

She moaned, "Oh for chrissakes, Mulder", and buried her face in her hands.  
She went on, "Mulder, You've really flipped this time.  Maybe Skinner was 
right about you after all", she said, shaking her head.

"There's undeniable proof, Scully.  Look.  This VCR can play the tape 
backwards", Mulder said, as he reached down to the controls.  Soon, Barney
and friends were cavorting in reverse motion.

"See that, Scully? did you hear that?", exclaimed Mulder excitedly.

"Hear what, Mulder?", said Scully, uninterested.

"Just there, on the tape.  In Barney's speech, played backwards.  Here,
I'll play it again", said Mulder, rewinding the tape.

"Wurgleamgrris....grfburreksy...", went Barney.  Mulder pointed excitedly
at the TV.   He went on, "Scully, it's right there!  How can you miss it?  
Barney's saying 'Follow Me'!", said Mulder, as excited as a five-year-old 
with his first set of Loc-blocks.

"Give me a break, Mulder - you're imagining things", was Scully's terse 
reply.

Undaunted, Mulder went on.  "But Scully, how can you refute this evidence?
And besides, look at the circumstances.  Barney and his show have only been 
on television for a couple of years.  And yet, he's revered by kids, 
worshipped, in fact.  No other television figure has ever garnered such 
unfathomable, unwavering support, except perhaps for some televangelists."

Scully countered, "But Mulder, this is nonsense! Barney is just a harmless 
TV character.  Now I agree he may not exactly be the ideal role model for 
our youth - in fact, he's probably not much more than eye candy, but he's 
certainly no demagogue.  Personally, I think you must have run out of UFOs 
and mutants to chase after, Mulder."

Smiling at her disbelief, Mulder responded, "Well, Scully, I think it's
actually good that you're skeptical.  I appreciate your objectivity; I
really do.  I realize you're going to need more evidence, but I'll have it 
soon.  Come on, Scully, we're taking a little trip."

"A trip, where is it this time, to Never-never land? or Sesame Street?", 
asked Scully defiantly, crossing her arms and planting her feet.

"No, it's nothing like that.  We're just going to hop on over to the
other side of town.  Less than an hour's drive.", said Mulder, putting on 
his coat.




9:01 a.m.

Mulder and Scully walked up to the entrance of an abandoned church.
Mulder knocked on the door, and moments later, someone cracked the door
slightly and peered out.

"What's the password?" asked the shadowy figure.

"It's me, Fox Mulder"

"I don't care who it is; what's the password?"

"Look, I said it's me, agent Mulder.  I don't know the silly password", 
said Mulder impatiently.

"Well, how do I know it's you?  It could be an impostor for all I know", 
said the figure suspiciously.

"Damn it, Cricket!", said Mulder, and pushed in the door.  "Ow! my head!",
said the figure, backing away from the door.

Once the door was open, Scully saw that the man was holding his forehead 
and wincing in pain.  He protested, "Damnit, Mulder! I told you we had 
procedures to follow!"

"Yeah well, I guess I just forgot.  Where's Cliff?", Mulder asked.

"He's in the back", said Cricket, still rubbing his forehead.

Mulder led Scully through the abandoned pews, and around the preacher's
platform to the back room.  Entering the former pastor's offices, they
found a group of men huddled together around a large table in the center 
of the room.  There were also others sitting around at smaller tables, 
working at portable computers and talking on the phone.  Looking up, one of 
the men at the center table began to speak.

"Well, Mulder - it's about time you showed up."

Another man spoke.  "Is this your skeptical friend, Mulder?  She's hot!"

Scully rolled her eyes, thinking - not again!

Others joined in. "Yep, she's hot, alright!"
"Hot hot hot!"
"Hot mama!"
"Yeowzers!"
"Woo woo!"
"Whoa, bay-bee!"
"Babe-a-roni!"
"Babe-a-rama!"
"Babe central!"
"The babemeister!"
"The FBI's most babe-a-licious!"

Mulder finally cut in.  "All right guys, break it up."  He turned to
Scully and said, "By the way, Scully, these are the Lone Bowmen."  Turning
back towards the men, he asked, "What's the latest on Barney?"

One of the men got up, and Scully surmised that he was Cliff.  He began to
speak.  "Well, Mulder, I think we're finally on to him.  We believe he's
communicating his message to his audience through a low-intensity carrier 
wave fed continuously from his TV complex.  The signal is received and 
processed by the human brain on a subconscious level.  Here, Mulder, 
take this.", he said, handing Mulder a pair of dark sunglasses.

"A solar eclipse coming, Cliff?", Mulder quipped, as he gazed at the glasses.

"Not quite, Mulder, it's actually..", began Cliff.

Just then, they heard the doorman Cricket screamed out, "They're here!
RUN! run for your lives!"

Mulder and Scully glanced at each other, and then at Cliff.  Cliff was 
momentarily frozen with panic, then yelled, "Alright, everybody! grab the 
stuff and get out! we'll rendezvous at base Delta!"  He turned to Mulder, 
and shouted "You too! you guys, run for it, now!", and quickly turned to 
gather up some items from the table.

Mulder and Scully stood stunned for a moment, while they saw the men
scurrying about before them, grabbing papers, boxes, and computers.  
Others had pulled out pistols and rifles and were headed out towards the 
front door, with a grim look on their faces.  Moments later, Mulder and 
Scully were jarred by the loud sounds of automatic gunfire from outside the
room.

"Everybody! we're outta here NOW!" yelled Cliff, with a terrified look on
his face.  Not hesitating another second, Mulder grabbed Scully's arm
and dragged her towards the back door.

Making their way past men carrying boxes, Mulder and Scully exited
through the back and into the parking lot.  Scully paused to observe men
hurriedly loading vans, but was yanked away by Mulder towards the side
street.

Observing from behind some trees a safe distance away, Mulder and Scully
saw the vans driving off.  From off to one side of the parking lot, they
saw the last of the vans backing up to the church exit, with several of the 
lone Bowmen standing nearby, guns drawn.  From inside the church, they 
heard more sounds of gunfire, along with muted screams and cries of agony.  

Moments later, they saw several of the Lone Bowmen running out of the 
building, some of them limping.  They jumped into the back of the van, 
under the protective cover fire of the Bowmen standing by the van.  The 
last of the Bowmen then jumped into the van, which screeched off the 
parking lot and onto a side street.

Several men then dashed out of the building, spraying machine-gun fire in 
all directions.  They were dressed in spotted purple commando suits and 
black hoods, and carrying AK-47s.  The commandos saw the Bowmen's van as it 
exited the parking lot, and opened fire on it, smashing the rear window.
The van continued on, however, and sped down the street and out of sight.

"Whoa, Mulder - what just happened here? we have to report this and call 
in reinforcements!", said a nervous Scully.  She reached for her cellular 
phone to dial headquarters.

"It's too late, Scully.  They're leaving", motioned Mulder.  Off in the
distance, on the curb beyond the church, the purple commandos were 
climbing into the back of a nondescript black van.

"Mulder, we've got to do something!  We can't just let them get away", 
exclaimed Scully.

"Do what, Scully? walk up to them and flash our badges? we're way 
outnumbered and outgunned here, Scully.  We can't move in now", replied 
Mulder in frustration.  He wanted to jump out and apprehend the felons
as much as Scully did, but he knew that any such rash attempt against men 
with automatic weapons would only get himself and Scully killed.

As the van drove off, Mulder got up to get a good look at the plates.  
Unfortunately, there were no plates to bee seen on the vehicle.  "Damn it! 
Damnit to hell!", yelled Mulder, shaking his fist in frustration.



12:25 p.m.
FBI Headquarters

Scully finally finished briefing the other agents about the incident.  A
task force had been established to investigate the group, now believed
to be terrorists.  Mulder had not been so certain, and had spent the
past two hours in the corner of the briefing room, quietly sulking and 
mulling things over.

As they walked back towards their office, Scully began.  "Mulder, what is
it? I get the feeling you don't believe they were terrorists."

"Terrorists? in a sense, perhaps, but not in the way you think.  We still
have a number of unanswered questions.", mulled Mulder.

Entering their office, Mulder walked over to the monitor and played the 
Barney tape once again.  "If only I could get some solid evidence...", he 
muttered.

He knelt down to get closer to the TV screen.  Unknowingly, he reached 
into his pocket, and begin playing with the sunglasses that Cliff had 
handed him.  Suddenly, he froze in place, suspended in thought.  He looked 
down at the glasses.

After pausing for a second, Mulder unfolded the sunglasses and put them 
on his face.  Looking back up at the monitor, he was horrified by what he
saw.

Through the mysterious glasses, Barney had undergone a hideous 
transformation.  The lovable purple dinosaur was now a horrible, ghastly 
alien creature, complete with a black exoskeleton, gigantic claws, and rows 
of huge, sharp teeth.

As Mulder looked on in shock, he began to sense that Barney's words also 
were starting to sound twisted.  It took him a few seconds to realize it, 
but the glasses somehow enabled him to ascertain a secret message buried in 
Barney's words and songs.  

At first, his ears told him that Barney was just singing his famous 
trademark "I love you, You love me" song.  However, his brain was somehow 
translating it into a different message.  The words slowly began to form 
in his head.  "...Your parents are evil... I know what is best for you... 
Honor me.. Worship me... Follow me...", was the insidious message.

Horrified, Mulder drew back from the TV screen.  Not quite able to
believe what he saw, he removed the glasses and inspected them for 
abnormalities.  Looking back at the TV, Mulder was surprised to see that 
the hideous alien had turned back into Barney the friendly purple dinosaur.  
The evil words had also returned to a sane form, and he could hear Barney 
singing, "... We're a happy family..."

Convinced that the vision must have been an aberration, Mulder tried 
putting the glasses back on, and was instantly treated again to the 
image of the horrible creature and his corruptive words.  Shaking his head, 
he repeated the procedure several times, always with the same effect.

By this time, Scully had begun to notice Mulder's strange and erratic
behavior.  She walked over to his side and asked, "Mulder? is everything 
okay?  Are you all right?"

Mulder looked up at her, and saw a look of concern on her face.  Just out 
of curiosity, he tried peering at her through the glasses.  No difference.  
He was greatly relieved.

Mulder got up, and started.  "Scully - I found out what these glasses
were that Cliff gave me.  Here, try them on, and you'll see.", he said,
pushing the glasses towards Scully.

"Mulder, I'm not going to try on any silly glasses.  We have work to do.",
said Scully, pushing the glasses aside.

"But Scully, just look through the glasses, and you'll see", persisted
Mulder.

"No, Mulder - I haven't got time for this.  *We* haven't got time for
this.  Those terrorists could strike again at any time."

"Scully, please - just indulge me, okay?", pleaded Mulder.

"No, Mulder, forget it.  Just put those silly glasses away.", replied an
annoyed Scully.

"But Scully, don't you see?  these glasses are the key to everything.",
said Mulder, getting impatient.

"Mulder, I said I wasn't going to try on the glasses.  Now listen to
what I'm saying", chided Scully, like a mother putting up with an unruly 
child.

"Scully, don't be so closed-minded.  Save your skepticism for another
day, and just put on the glasses, okay?", insisted Mulder.

"*MULDER*, look.  Your friends, the Lone Bowmen or whatever, those guys 
from the church, they could be in great danger.  Those terrorists went 
after them once, and they could go looking for them again.  We have to 
track them down!", said Scully, her expression getting more angry.

"Damnit Scully, those weren't terrorists! Just look through the damned
glasses, and you'll find out!", said Mulder, thrusting the glasses towards
Scully.

"Damn the glasses, Mulder!  I'm not trying them on!", Scully yelled, and
knocked the glasses out of Mulder's hand.  "Now we're needed upstairs in
the situation room!"

Mulder was infuriated.  "Scully, damn it, if it's the last thing I do,
I'm going to make you try on these glasses!"

With a single fluid motion, Mulder bent down to grab the glasses with one 
hand, and grabbed Scully's arm with the other.  He lifted the glasses to
Scully's face to try and put them on her.

Scully turned her head away from him and yelled, "No, Mulder! get that 
thing away from me!  I'm not trying on any damned glasses!"

Mulder then put his arm around Scully's waist and pulled her next to him.  
He raised his other hand up to Scully's face once again.  Scully waved her 
arms around wildly, trying to knock the glasses out of Mulder's hands.

"Damn you, Mulder! have you gone insane?  What is wrong with you?", yelled 
Scully, as she continued flailing her arms, trying to break free of 
Mulder's grip.

"Scully, you've got to do this! Scully! it's for your own good!", shouted
Mulder, but Scully grabbed his arm and bit into it.

"*Yeeeouch*! Scully, Ouch! stop that!", yelled Mulder, pulling his arm
back.

Scully seized upon this opportunity and slammed her elbow into Mulder's 
stomach.  He bent over, having had the wind knocked out of him.  He dropped 
to the floor, wheezing.  

Scully turned to leave the room, but Mulder, reaching with his last ounce 
of strength, got up on his elbows and grabbed Scully's ankle.  Scully, 
surprised by the move, turned back and tried to wrest her foot away from 
Mulder's grip.  Having no success, she reared back with all her strength
and propelled the foot forward, smacking Mulder squarely in the jaw.

Reeling from the blow, Mulder fell back on his stomach, and nursed his jaw 
tenderly.  But just then, he saw Scully turning back towards the door.  He
reached out with his hand, and held the glasses out towards her, gasping, 
"Scu-l-l-ly... the glasses...".  

Scully turned back around and stood over Mulder, shaking her head.  "God, 
I don't know what's gotten into you, Mulder, but this is the most out of 
control I've ever seen you get.  I think you should take a few minutes 
down there and think about returning to the real world."  She added, 
"You're lucky, Mulder - if it had been anyone else, I would have reported 
this to internal affairs."

With that, Scully turned to leave the room.  Thinking for a moment, she
turned briefly and snatched the glasses from Mulder's outstretched hands.  
"This piece of junk belongs in the trash", she said triumphantly, and 
walked out of the office.

Walking through the hallways, Scully felt flushed and confused, still not 
entirely sure what had just happened to her.  Feeling an urge to get some 
fresh air, she exited the building and strolled out into the Washington
afternoon.

The midday sun was mighty strong, and she instinctively pulled the 
sunglasses, which she was still holding, up onto to her face.  She began 
walking down the front steps of the FBI building.

Moments later, she was frozen in her tracks.

There, not more than twenty feet in front of her, was a D.C. city bus,
stopping to pick up some passengers.  It seemed ordinary enough, save for 
a sign on the side of the bus where the advertisements were usually pasted.  
There, in stark black letters against a white background, was the message 
"OBEY."

Unable to believe what she saw,  Scully removed her glasses and rubbed her 
eyes.  Looking back up, she squinted in the sun at the bus.  She was 
relieved that in place of the message was an ordinary Benson and Hedges 
advertisement.  Must've been an hallucination, she thought, and took a 
relaxing breath.

She started to turn away, putting the glasses back on.  But as soon as 
the glasses were back in place, she caught the same sign again, this time 
out of the corner of her eye.  Incredulous, she turned her head back to 
look at the bus once again.  It was unmistakable; the black-on-white sign 
was still there.

Confused, Scully took the glasses off and put them back on several
times.  Each time the glasses came on, the message became visible, and
whenever the glasses went off, the cigarette ad returned.  Scully was
befuddled, and kept repeating the test until the bus began to drive off.

As the bus moved on, she craned her neck to follow it until it passed out of 
view.  Turning her head back, she was stunned by what else she saw.

All of the billboards on the buildings, all of the advertisements on the
buses and cabs, featured messages in bold black print.  "Sleep", said a 
billboard. "Be Passive" was a sign on a bus. "Conform" was a message on a 
cab.

Scully was stultified, and began walking around to gaze at other signs.  
Whenever she lowered her glasses and peered at the signs through naked eyes,
they appeared to be commonplace advertisements for beer, soft drinks, and 
antacids.  But when she looked at them through the glasses, the signs 
turned into sinister platforms for subconscious messages.

Turning a corner, Scully approached a newspaper stand.  Here, she was
again taken aback as she saw rows of magazines on display, each bearing a 
different subversive message.  Tilting her head down and glancing over her 
glasses, she could see that they appeared to be normal, everyday 
magazines - Time, Newsweek, Cosmo - but when she peered back through the 
glasses, they carried the messages "Worship", "Behold", and "Submit".

Scully realized something very big was going on here.  Not sure of what to 
do next, she turned around to head back towards the bureau, and bumped 
into a man going the opposite way.  Instinctively, she said, "Sorry, 
excuse me", and looked up.

What she saw there chilled her to the bone.  It was a tall man, dressed
in an expensive coat; but his face - his face was alien and horrifying, a
nightmarish, gleaming black skull with long ridges on either side, and with 
a huge mouth surrounding rows upon rows of razor-sharp teeth.  Scully began 
to scream out in terror, but her training and professionalism managed to 
stifle the scream to a whimper.  "Ahem, *cough*.  Excuse me", said Scully, 
lowering her head.  

"No problem, lady", said the man-creature.  He passed by her and turned to 
the newsstand to buy a paper.

Frozen in place, Scully turned her head slightly to look back at the 
strange fellow.  From behind and off to the side, she could see the 
creature's head, which had a ridge of thick, pointy scales running down the 
back.  She bent her head down and peered out above her glasses, to see what 
he looked like to the others.  She was surprised to see that he appeared 
quite normal, almost handsome in a way, with pale skin, gentle features, 
and light brown hair.  But as soon as she lifted her head and looked
through the glasses, his hideous monster form was unmistakable.

The man paid for his paper and turned back in Scully's direction.  She 
instantly turned her head towards the magazines, pretending to be browsing.
She waited for the man to leave, and then let out a sigh of relief.

Still unsure of what was going on, she looked around the busy city street.  
People were coming and going on their lunch hour, and Scully saw nothing 
of any particular interest.  But just then, she noticed two well-dressed 
gentlemen walking together on the other side of the street.  At least, 
they looked like gentlemen, until she peered closer through her glasses, 
and saw that they were actually monsters like the first stranger.

She continued to look around, and found that there were others.  Not many,
to be sure, but they appeared here and there.  Male and female, young and
old, but always well dressed, and always looking important.

Scully no longer felt safe in her own city.  Not even with the hundreds, 
even thousands of people around her on the busy street, could she feel 
secure against these hideous creatures.  It was clear that they had the 
power to plant subliminal messages in the media; who knows how many people 
may be under their control, she wondered.

Then a frightening thought struck her.  If these creatures had the power 
to control people, who was to say that the FBI hadn't been compromised? Or 
the military, for that matter.  Or even the top levels of government.

Shuddering at the thought, she turned and walked briskly back towards the 
FBI building.  She no longer knew whom she could trust.  She knew Mulder 
was safe, but who else?  Wait a minute, could it possibly be...

She had to find out.  She entered the building, and headed straight for 
the elevator.  She got in, pressed the button for the top floor, and 
waited.

After reaching the top, She got out of the elevator, still wearing her 
glasses.  She approached the deputy director's office, and casually looked
around.  Not seeing anyone, she was about to approach the secretary and ask 
if the deputy director was in.  But just then, she saw some top brass 
approaching from the hallway.  She ducked into a corner, and peered out 
through her glasses.

There were three of them, and she instantly recognized two as the same
type of hideous creatures she had seen on the street.  The third was a
human, a senior agent she had seen before.

She bent her head down to look out from above the glasses, fearing the worst.  
Her suspicions were confirmed.  One of the creatures was Skinner, and the 
other was puffing on a cigarette.





1:05 p.m.

Scully walked into her office, barely able to control her fear and hysteria.  
Mulder was sitting at his desk, and upon seeing her approach, made an 
exaggerated grimace.  "What, come back to finish me off, Scully?", he asked.

"Mulder, this is no time for jokes.", said Scully, closing the office door 
and beating back the tears.  It was difficult for her to speak through the 
fear and confusion, but she went on. "The glasses.. you were right, Mulder.  
They're here, among us.  The creatures.  They control everything.  Even 
Skinner is one of them.", said Scully, painfully.

"What? Skinner? I knew it!", yelled Mulder, jumping up.  A frown formed on 
his face, which turned into a look of rage.  "Damn it!", he exclaimed, 
pounding his desk with his fist.  "No wonder he's been causing us all this 
trouble.  That's why he's been blocking our every move.", said Mulder, 
seething.

"But what are we going to do now, Mulder?  We can't trust anyone.  Whomever 
we talk to - if they're not one of them, they could have been co-opted.  
There's no on we can turn to.", said Scully, sobbing.

Mulder walked over to comfort Scully, putting a hand on her shoulder.  A
pensive look came upon his face, but he quickly managed a smile.  He 
started in his reassuring voice, "There *are* still people we can trust, 
Scully.  They're in hiding, but we're due to meet with them in less than an 
hour."

"You mean, your friends from the church?", asked Scully, looking up with 
swelled eyes.

"Exactly.  We have to see them and try to get a handle on this thing.  But 
for now, remember - we have to pretend we're not working on this case.  
Trust no one.", said Mulder.




1:44 p.m.

Mulder and Scully parked their car on a busy street, and walked the
six blocks to the abandoned warehouse.  They took great care to ensure they
weren't being tailed, making quick detours and looking into shop windows.

They walked into the warehouse through the hidden door in the back.
They were greeted by two grim-faced men with shotguns, one of them with a
bandaged arm.  They nodded to Mulder and Scully, and guided them inside.

"Mulder - Scully - did you guys make it out okay?", asked Cliff, coming 
forth to greet them.  

"No problem, Cliff.  How did your people do?", asked Mulder.

"Well, it could have been worse.  Several of our guys were injured, but we 
all made it out.  We may not be so lucky next time", said Cliff grimly.

"I see.  Well, do you have any more information on Barney's mind control 
mechanism?" asked Mulder.

"Well, as a matter of fact, we've received further information from our 
operatives, and I believe we now have a pretty good handle on his 
operation", said Cliff.  "Here, Mulder, Scully, come on.  I'll show you."

As Mulder and Scully began walking through the warehouse, some of the men 
sitting around started to howl, wink, and make lewd gestures at Scully.  She 
glared back at them with an icy gaze strong enough to crack an engine block, 
and the men reared back in fear.

Cliff led the two to a corner of the warehouse, where a map of the city
was laid out on a drafting table.  He pointed to a spot near downtown D.C., 
the site of Barney's studio and world headquarters.

"Barney is sending out his beam from here.  His Satellite uplink dish
actually doubles as the psychokinetic beam transmitter.  If we can knock
out that dish, we can pull everyone out from their waking dream, and this
nightmare will be over."

"So that's it?", asked Scully.  "That sounds too easy.  What about the
legions of creatures walking about?  What's their involvement in all this?  
And just who exactly is this Barney anyway - the real Barney?"

"Oh, those creatures", muttered Cliff.  "They're from Barney's home planet.  
They're his operatives, his agents of influence, so to speak." He
continued, "And this Barney, or what you know as Barney, is actually a 
xenomorph, an alien creature.  We believe he hails from somewhere in the 
Ceta Alpha Tau system."

"Anyway, through our operatives in his organization, we've learned that his 
mission here is to subvert the children of this planet and turn them into 
his agents.  Apparently, his race wants to take over this planet and 
enslave the population.  But they're not willing to engage in a destructive, 
costly war.  Instead, they want a bloodless coup, leaving all the people and
infrastructure in place for them to exploit."

"This evil creature known as Barney first arrived here on earth in the
late 1960s, his mission at the time being to scout the planet for possible 
conquest.  And after seeing the vast natural resources available here, his 
race decided to engage in a campaign of subconscious subversion to plant 
Barney in power."

"He decided he would require a medium of mass communication, and realized
that television was the key.  Everyone in the western world had access
to a TV, and he figured that with his advanced technology, he could easily 
tap into this resource."

"He used a portable psychokinetic transmitter to pass as a human, and began 
to gain influence in the production of television programming.  At this 
point, in the 60's, TV technology had not advanced enough for him to link 
his subliminal carrier wave to the TV signal.  So instead, he began a 
campaign to enfeeble the minds of the TV viewing public, so that they would 
later be easy targets for the future stages of his psychological campaign."

"To this end, he played an active role in producing mindless TV programs 
like 'Gilligan's Island', 'The Brady Bunch', and even the insidiously 
titled 'Get Smart', all designed to drain the audience's IQ levels and
take away their capacity for logical reasoning.  And this effort continued 
well into the '70s and '80s, with 'Love, American Style' and 'Mork and 
Mindy', and cresting with his greatest accomplishment, 'The Love Boat'."

"Not the Love Boat!", Scully gasped.

"Yes, I'm afraid so.  And the effort still continues today, with programs 
like 'Melrose Place' and 'Baywatch'."

"Even Baywatch?", asked an incredulous Mulder, mouth agape.

"Mulder, don't tell me you actually watch that tawdry show?", asked a 
surprised Scully.

"Well, not really - I just watch to pick up emergency rescue tips.",
deadpanned Mulder.  Scully merely shook her head.

Cliff continued on.  "And all this time, while Americans' minds were
degenerating into a vegetative state from the corrosive TV programs, the 
evil Barney called in reinforcements from his home planet in the 1980's to 
take over important positions in government."

"And by this time, the carrier wave had been implemented everywhere in the 
TV viewing area, in the form of so-called 'Stereo Television'.  As it 
turned out, the stereo decoders present in virtually all modern TVs had a 
tiny psychokinetic receiver and amplifier built in, in order to receive and 
spread Barney's psychic mind control carrier waves.  So as stereo TV spread, 
people were fooled into thinking that the evil creatures were just very 
intelligent humans, and came to respect them and follow them."

"And so today, now that the older generation has been effectively
neutralized, Barney has appeared in his newest guise, as the friendly
and lovable purple dinosaur.  His mission now is to capture the hearts and 
minds of the young generation, who will become his soldiers and lieutenants 
in the new world order."

"So that's why you developed these sunglasses, so that people could see
the truth without being hindered by the carrier wave.", said Mulder.

"Exactly.  And we've been spreading them everywhere.  We sneak into
drugstores and secretly place them on the sunglass racks.  We mail them
as free samples to peoples' homes.  We even break into unsuspecting 
peoples' houses and switch our sunglasses for theirs."

"Oh, and by the way, here are more glasses, just in case.", he said, 
handing Mulder and Scully each a new pair.

Cliff continued on.  "So far, the campaign has been fairly successful.  
However, our rebellion has been having difficulty gaining much momentum.  
Barney and his friends are all powerful, and some of his human 
collaborators have infiltrated our ranks as of late.  As a result, we're 
constantly on the run, always looking over our shoulders."

"Well, hopefully we can put an end to all that", said Mulder.  "We must
launch an assault on Barney's complex, and put an end to his reign of 
terror."

"But Mulder, how can we do that?", asked Scully.  "We don't have the 
support of the Bureau, and we would need an army to go up against Barney's 
forces."

Mulder replied. "Well, we have two good FBI agents here, and a group of 
brave, if somewhat testosterone-poisoned, but still determined men.  We'll 
figure something out, Scully."




11:55 p.m.
Downtown D.C.
Outside Barney Enterprises Incorporated., World Headquarters

"There's his headquarters", Cliff whispered to Mulder and Scully.  They
were hiding with the Lone Bowmen in an alley down the block.

Cliff continued, "That's where he tapes his show, and where he uplinks his 
carrier wave to all the other TV transmission systems in the country."  He
pointed to a gigantic satellite dish sitting atop the building.

"What kind of defenses does he have?", Mulder asked.

"At least fifty guards with automatic weapons.  Plus bulletproof glass
around his offices, and a sophisticated security system.", replied Cliff.

"Darn, this may be harder than I thought", muttered Mulder.

"Mulder, I thought you had a plan?", asked Scully, annoyed.

"Don't worry, guys", reassured Cliff, "we have a man, er, person on the 
inside.  She's going to open up the doors for us in the back of the 
building."

"Just who is this person? and can we trust her?", asked Mulder.

"Don't worry; she's one of our best people.  Her name is Laura J.,  But we 
call her by her by her code name, 'Aliskye'.  She works in Barney's legal
department, and she routinely provides us with key information.", said 
Cliff confidently.  "We're supposed to meet her at midnight."

The group slithered their way to the back of Barney's building.  They
dashed between rows of parked trucks, and snuck up to the outside door of
the receiving department.

Cliff knocked on the door in a deliberate manner.  Knock knock knock, knock 
knock, was the pattern.  It was met by three short raps from the other side.  
Moments later, a woman opened the door.

"Hi Cliff; hi, guys", greeted Aliskye.  "Hi, Aliskye", responded Cliff.  He
continued, "This is agent Mulder, and this is agent Scully.  They're from 
the FBI, and they're on our side."

"Nice to meet both of you", Aliskye said.  "I wish it were under
different circumstances."

The group entered through the door and drew their weapons.  The Bowmen,
contrary to their moniker, carried their prized Heckler & Koch 9mm 
submachine guns.  Mulder pulled out his Glock 22, and Scully withdrew her 
Walther PPK.  Cliff, for his part, reached into his backpack and pulled out 
his trusty 12-gauge sawed-off pump-action shotgun with pistol grip.  

Aliskye winced at the appalling display of hardware; she wasn't 
particularly fond of weapons herself.  If the fur started flying, she 
figured she would just resort to her handy pocket-sized pepper spray.

The group stalked and slid through the dark abandoned hallways, and 
entered the freight elevator.  Cliff pressed the button for the top floor.

The freight elevator took its time, and it seemed like it would take 
forever to ascend the thirty floors.  Almost out of boredom, Scully asked, 
"So, Aliskye, what do you do around here?"

"Well, I work in Barney's legal department", responded Aliskye.  "I make 
sure that nothing on the show offends anybody.  As you might imagine, 
Barney doesn't need any more trouble than he already gets from the Lone 
Bowmen."

She continued, "Anyway, you would think that a simple kid's show wouldn't 
contain much objectionable material, but the PC crowd is all over us.", 
said Aliskye, shaking her head.

"Complaints over Political Correctness? for Barney's show?", asked
Scully, amazed.

"Yes.  People have been complaining that the show unfairly exploits
dinosaurs, treating them as cartoonish caricatures.  They feel that by 
taking the dinosaur out of his environment, dressing him up in a purple 
suit, and giving him an idiotic personality, they're destroying all 
traces of his cultural heritage, crushing his identity and his values.  
They feel that the dinosaur character has effectively become a homo 
sapiens-centric, sugar-coated symbol meant to cover up mankind's repression 
and exploitation of the animal kingdom."

Scully rolled her eyes, but Aliskye continued.  "They also feel that the 
female dinosaur on the show is unfairly relegated to a minor supporting 
role, demonstrating the show's unfair and derogatory treatment of women by 
casting them in passive, servile housewife-type roles."

Scully shook her head, amazed at how much free time some people must have.

The elevator finally reached the top floor.  The doors slid open unto a
dark, foreboding corridor.  The Bowmen put drew their weapons and gingerly
moved forward, crouching.

Winding their way from the maintenance area to the empty main passageways, 
the only available light came from the full moon shining through the 
windows.  They could just make out the pictures and posters on the walls, 
which celebrated Barney's numerous successes.

On one of the walls, Mulder noticed a huge poster of Barney in all his 
glory, shining in the clear moonlight.  Barney was dressed in a tux and 
tails, complete with top hat and black cane.  He was posing in a dance step,
balanced on one foot, with an enormously goofy grin on his face.  Mulder 
was suddenly overcome with a tremendous sense of nausea and revulsion, and 
felt an almost uncontrollable urge to pop a few rounds into the poster.  
Common sense got the better of him, however, and he continued on with the 
group in silence, biting his lip.

They approached the door to heart of Barney's lair.  It was flanked by 
an expansive glass wall, with the words "Executive Offices" written on it
in bold print.  They realized that the door and the sheet of glass were now 
all that separated them from their target.  Reaching for the door, Mulder 
saw that it had a keycard lock on it.  The group crouched down near the 
floor, and began to peer inside.

Through the glass, they could see a reception area in the foreground, and 
several offices in the distance.  The lights were on in some of the offices, 
and they could hear rumblings of activity.  Mulder looked around and saw 
several armed men in purple suits roaming the hallways.  Mulder figured
the men were most likely part of the same band that had assaulted the church 
that morning.  The commandos appeared to be guarding the hallways outside
the offices.

Scully crouched down next to Mulder and whispered, "this glass is 
bulletproof, Mulder.  Small arms fire won't do us much good here."

Mulder looked over to Cliff, and asked, "do you guys have any more serious
firepower?"

Cliff's mouth formed into an big grin, and he slung his shotgun over his
shoulder.  He reached into his backpack, and pulled out an M16 with attached 
grenade launcher.  He looked over at Cricket, who reached into his duffel 
bag and pulled out a Rocket-Propelled Grenade launcher.  He loaded a rocket, 
ready to fire.

"Boy, you guys sure came ready for business", muttered Scully.

"Yup, you bet we did - now, it's time to rock and roll.", said Cliff.  He
motioned everyone back into the hallway, and took up position with his M-16,
aiming straight at the doorlock.  Cricket lined up next to Cliff, and aimed 
his RPG at the glass wall.  Aliskye winced, and put her fingers in her 
ears.

"Ready, on the count of three.  One, two, three, fire!"

A loud pop came from the grenade launcher on Cliff's rifle.  Simultaneously, 
a streak of hot flame shot out from the back of Cricket's RPG launcher.  A 
millisecond later, they saw the lock on the door explode into tiny shards.  
At the same time, they saw the rocket grenade riding a stream of smoke 
towards the glass wall.  It impacted, creating a giant fireball and smashing 
the glass into a thousand pieces.  The noise was deafening.

Amidst the smoke, the team ran forward.  Mulder kicked the door down and ran
into the executive hallway, followed closely by Scully.  The Bowmen flooded 
in through the newly created opening in the glass wall.

The group had caught the security commandos off guard.  They were bent over
and coughing in the smoke, and Mulder and Cliff's men dropped several of 
them instantly.  Pressing forward, Mulder and Scully went after the 
executive offices, while Cliff's men chased after the remaining commandos.  
Aliskye was frozen in place, terrified by the violence.  She managed to 
mutter, "Um, I - I'll stay here and watch the back, guys...."

His Glock drawn and ready to fire, Mulder kicked in an office door, and 
pointed the gun at the lone occupant.  Mulder eyed the short, cowering 
fellow sitting behind the desk, and figured him to be just an innocent-
looking low-level assistant.  He was about to turn around and leave the 
office, when he caught a glimpse of the man reaching down below his desk.  
Just as the man pulled up his revolver and pointed it in Mulder's direction, 
Mulder turned and pumped three rounds of .40 caliber into the dastardly 
felon.  

Just then, Mulder remembered the glasses.  He reached into his pocket and 
put on the shades, and realized that the now lifeless body hunched over the
desk was actually one of the space creatures.  Better be more careful next 
time, thought Mulder.

Scully meanwhile sneaked up to the next office, and quickly turned and 
kicked the door.  Unfortunately, her heel broke off upon impact, and the 
door did not budge.  Oh shoot, she said to herself, just as she heard two 
shots hitting the door.  Blam-Blam, was the sound from inside the room, as 
two bullets pierced through the wood, passing just above her right shoulder.
Good thing I was born a midget, she thought to herself.  She quickly drew 
away from the door, planting her back to the wall next to the doorway.  As 
she removed her pumps, several more shots rang through the door, and Scully 
surmised that the weapon was a .38.  

A revolver! Scully smiled.  She planned to attack the door again, while
the assailant was reloading.  But wait, she wondered, did he fire six 
shots, or just five?  Scully wondered whether she was feeling lucky today.

Ah, what the heck, she wondered, and turned back towards the door.
Without a moment's hesitation, she kicked the door in with her bare
foot.  Ouch, that hurt, she thought, as she took up the firing position.

Surprisingly, there was no one in her line of sight.  Scully pulled back
slightly, using the doorway as cover.  She peered around the office, and
saw no one around.  He must be hiding under the desk, she figured.

"Come out from under the desk! I know you're in there!", Scully ordered,
pointing her gun at the desk.  Moments later, a blond woman in her thirties
wearing a a Donna Karan suit stood up, her hands raised in the air.  She 
spoke with a nervous voice.  "Uh, He-l-lo there, uh, you wouldn't shoot me, 
would you? after all, you and I, uh, we're just two professional women, 
trying to make it in a man's world.  So, whattya say?"  Her eyes pleaded 
with apparent sincerity.

Just then, Scully remembered the glasses.  Keeping her eyes fixated on
the nervously smiling woman, Scully reached into her pocket with one hand
and pulled out her sunglasses.  Fumbling with the glasses in her fingers, 
she looked down briefly to unfold it, and then raised the glasses to her 
face.  She focused back on the woman just in time to see that she was indeed
one of the hideous creatures, and was now pulling out another gun from her 
desk drawer.

Without a moment's hesitation, Scully instantly squeezed the trigger, and 
fired off a pair of 9mm rounds into the creature's chest.  The woman reared 
back, and managed to let loose a single shot as she fell.  Scully instantly 
ducked away, just as the bullet impacted on the wall, inches from her head.

Meanwhile, a fierce firefight was raging in the hallways outside.  Cliff's 
men were pinned down by the commandos, who had set up a crossfire zone in 
a hallway junction.  Cliff turned and yelled, "Mulder, Scully! we're in a 
pretty hot spot right now.  We can't get to Barney!  We'll keep these guys 
occupied; you guys go around!"

Mulder nodded in Cliff's direction, and started back.  Scully joined him 
in the hallway, and they headed back towards the shattered entrance to the 
executive offices.  Mulder saw Aliskye, who was pacing nervously, hoping to 
stay out of the mess.

"Come on, Aliskye, you're with us", said Mulder motioning. 

"What? b-but, I'm not a fighter - I'm a lawyer", protested Aliskye.

"Don't worry, Aliskye, we just need you to find us an alternate route to
Barney's offices.", said Mulder.

"well, okay.....", was Aliskye's tepid reply.

The three of them dashed towards the side hallway, which led to the 
executive dining room.  These corridors were normally locked after hours, 
but fortunately Aliskye had a key.  They stepped gingerly through the 
halls, fearful that the firefight just yards away could spread to these
corridors.

As they turned the corner, they saw several shadows beyond a dark glass 
door, engaged in a flurry of activity.  They approached closer, and assumed 
position on either side of the door, their backs to the wall.  Aliskye stood 
beside Mulder, hoping another firefight would not break out here.

Mulder motioned to Scully, gesturing with his hand.  He held up three
fingers, then two, then one.  He spun around towards the door, fired two 
rounds at the lock, and kicked the door in.  Scully dashed in through the 
open door, and Mulder followed right on her heels.

"Allright, everybody, on the floor, NOW!", yelled Scully, motioning with her 
gun.  Through her glasses, she saw nearly a dozen of the hideous creatures, 
sitting at various electronic consoles.  The creatures sat dazed for a 
second, staring at the two agents.

"I said, down on the floor, *NOW*!", shouted Scully, firing a shot into 
the air.  The creatures reared back, and then dropped to the ground,
cowering in fear.

"Scully, *DOWN*!", cried Mulder, and she instinctively dropped to the
ground, next to Mulder.  Looking up, she saw several purple commandos 
running into the room from a door on the other side, spraying machine gun 
fire in their direction.  Scully heard the torrent of bullets flying just 
above her head, and could feel the rumble as they impacted on the wall just 
behind her.

Mulder rolled over on his back, and began shooting out the fluorescent
lights in the ceiling.  Scully realized what Mulder was doing, and shot
out the rest of the lights.  Moments later, they were lying in the dark.

"Get them, you fools!", shouted someone from the side of the room.
Mulder and Scully slid across the room, reloading along the way.  Fumbling
in the dark, Mulder accidentally dropped an empty magazine on the tiled 
floor, making an unmistakable sound.  Instantly, bullets were flying again 
in their direction, ricocheting off objects and veering off in all 
directions.

Barely able to see or hear, Mulder and Scully covered their heads and slid 
in behind a table.

"What do we do now, Mulder? we're pinned down!", exclaimed Scully, 
terrified.

"Just hold on, Scully - we'll work our way out of this - we always do",
replied Mulder.

Just then, another burst of shots rang out, accompanied this time by groans 
and muted cries.  Mulder and Scully then heard the unmistakable voices of 
the Bowmen.  "Mulder, Scully, are you guys okay?", yelled Cricket.

Mulder and Scully looked up from behind the table, and noticed the Bowmen 
shining flashlights around the room.  "Whew, that was close", muttered 
Scully.  

Getting up and looking around the room, Scully saw that the Bowmen had 
dropped all of the alien creatures in the room.  A pretty good job for a 
ragged band, she thought.

"Mulder, Scully, we believe we've located Barney's office.  The creatures
are making a last stand there.  Come on.", motioned Cricket.

Mulder looked back at the entrance to the room, and saw Aliskye peeking
in to see what had happened.  Mulder motioned to her, saying, "Come on,
Aliskye, we're in the home stretch."

Aliskye managed a nervous smile, wondering when this would all end.  She
followed the group into the hallway entrance at the back of the room.

As they approached a crossing in the hallway, the sound of gunfire grew
closer.  Turning a corner, they saw the Bowmen crouched in firing positions 
near a corridor junction, trading shots with commandos positioned somewhere 
out of view.  Cliff was crouched down, barking directions into a radio to 
some of his men.

"That's right; come east through the other offices.  We'll flank them on
both sides!", yelled Cliff, and then lowered the radio.

He then turned to Mulder and Scully, saying, "Well, we managed to make
pretty good progress while you guys were gone.  The bad guys pulled back
surprisingly quickly, and now a dozen purple guys are all that stand
between us and Barney himself."

Mulder looked over at the men firing their weapons, and turned back to 
Cliff.  Trying to make himself heard above the gunfire, he yelled, "Are you 
sure Barney doesn't have an escape route?"

Cliff turned to Mulder and said, "Nope, no escape - that is, unless he gets 
to the roof!"

Mulder's eyes narrowed.  He began to wonder if...

Just then, one of the Bowmen yelled, "they're down! we're clear!", and the 
men charged forward.  Cliff got up to join them, and Mulder, Scully, and 
Aliskye followed.  Up at the front of the pack, Cricket stepped over a pile 
of purple bodies and approached the door to Barney's office.  In reality,
the door was now actually less of a door than a collection of bullet holes 
held together by tiny slivers of wood.  With a single motion, Cricket kicked 
the door down, and jumped through the smoke, his submachine gun pointing 
the way.

Mulder and Scully also jumped through the door, guns drawn, along with 
the rest of the Bowmen.  As the smoke cleared, they noticed dead bodies on 
the floor - purple commandos and monster executives in Armani suits, but 
no Barney.  "Damn it!", yelled Cliff.

But as everyone was looking around at the bodies, Mulder caught sight of a 
door closing in the distance.  "There!", he pointed, and the group turned
and dashed towards the door, marked "Roof access".

Mulder moved towards the door to open it, but Cricket pushed him aside, 
and pulled out his RPG.  And before Aliskye could tell him that the door 
had no lock, Cricket yelled "Heads up! look out behind!", and blew the door
to kingdom come, spewing pieces of wood and dust everywhere.

After an extended moment of coughing and waving off the dust, Mulder gave 
Cricket a dirty look, and proceeded through the door and up the stairs.
Cricket merely shrugged his shoulders in innocence, and reloaded his
launcher.  The others also proceeded up the stairs, following Mulder onto 
the roof.

Opening the door to the roof area, Mulder was suddenly hit with a bright 
light and a blast of hot air.  Turning away and raising his arm in front of 
his face, he looked over at the source of the wind.  His jaw dropped, and he
stood there, transfixed.

Cliff, Scully, Aliskye, and the rest of the Bowmen came up behind him, but
they also froze in awe.

What they saw there was a gigantic spaceship, nearly four hundred feet in
length.  It was shaped like a blimp, with colored lights grouped in 
parallel bands ringing its exterior.  It was hovering just above the roof, 
shining a bright light below it.  The light was blinding, and illuminated 
the entire roof.  Peering through his sunglasses, Mulder could see that the 
ship had several nozzles near the bottom, which were the apparent sources 
of the powerful gusts of hot air.

Looking painfully through the bright light and intense heat, Mulder saw 
Barney running towards the entrance to the spacecraft.  Mulder tried 
yelling out towards Barney to stop, but his voice was drowned out by the 
noise of the craft.

Determined, Mulder raised his Glock to the big purple creature, but the 
wind was too much for him, and he could not maintain a steady aim.  The
Bowmen also attempted to fire their weapons, but none hit their mark.

Through the blinding light, Mulder could make out a door opening on the 
bottom of the vehicle, and saw Barney climbing inside.  The door then closed
just as quickly as it had opened, and the craft began to lift off.

The light and heat from the craft now became more intense than ever, and 
the group ran to seek cover behind some structures on the roof.  Cricket 
aimed and fired an RPG at the departing craft, but the impact from the
rocket did not even dent the ship.  Mulder could hear Cricket cursing in 
the background.

As the ship rose and ascended to the heavens, Mulder and the group got up 
to gaze at the departing craft.  Looking up at the ship, Mulder began to 
appreciate the beauty of the vessel, with its glittering, mesmerizing 
lights, and its graceful flight profile.  It was so... so beautiful, so 
gorgeous, so elegant in a way, Mulder thought.

Just then, he was shaken out of his hypnotic state by the loud boom of a 
rocket exploding behind him.  He turned around to see that Cricket had let 
loose an RPG on the transmitter dish, which now lay in pieces.  "So much 
for that", uttered Scully.

Turning his head and looking around, the reality of the past few minutes
finally began to sink in for Mulder.  It was now over - the monstrous
beings had been destroyed, and Barney's grip on the populace had been
lifted.  It was too bad Barney had gotten away, but his empire was 
destroyed nonetheless, thought Mulder.

Aliskye walked up next to Mulder, shaking her head.  "Well, I guess I'm 
out of a job now", she lamented.

Mulder smiled, and turned to her.  "Don't worry, Aliskye", he reassured.
"My father is a bigshot at Fox Corporation.  In fact, my father named me 
after the company."

"Your first name is Twentieth-Century?", asked Aliskye.

"No, no - it's Fox", said Mulder, smiling.  He went on. "And I believe
he has a opening in their TV broadcasting division, in the legal 
department.  They need someone to make sure their programming doesn't tick 
anybody off.  Do you feel up to the assignment?", Mulder asked.

"No problem, Fox - I believe that's right up my alley", cheered Aliskye.

Scully approached the pair, holstering her pistol.  "Well, looks like 
everything's wrapped up here, Mulder", she said.  "With the evil 
transmitter gone, I think everyone will see things in a new light now."

"Yup, Scully, our job here is done", remarked Mulder.  He looked up at
the stars, and paused.  He then looked back down at Scully and Aliskye, and 
went on.  "But we must remain ever vigilant, lest Barney or someone of his 
ilk return to pollute our airwaves again.  We must ensure that our minds 
never again be clouded with such subversive filth.  I'm only watching 
Mystery Science Theater 3000 from now on.", said Mulder, looking off in 
the distance.

"Me too, Mulder", replied Scully, gazing at the beautiful nighttime sky.



------------------------------------------------------------------------


1:55 a.m.

Descending to the bottom of Barney's building in the executive elevator,
Mulder and Scully began to breathe freely for the first time in hours.
It was finally over, all of it.  Or so it seemed.

It had only been about twenty minutes since they had destroyed the evil 
transmitter and sent Barney scurrying off in his spaceship.  In addition, 
it was still the middle of the night.  As a result, they didn't expect that
people would have awoken from their dreamlike state yet.  But they were 
wrong.

As he stepped out of the elevator and entered the foyer, Mulder noticed 
a buzz of activity outside the building.  Through the glass expanses of the
lobby walls, he could see and hear activity in all directions.  Police 
sirens, ambulances, cars speeding off - it seemed like the aftermath of an 
earthquake.

"Mulder, I don't like this.  What do you think is going on?", wondered
Scully.

Just then, Cliff and some of his men descended from the next elevator,
and walked up to Mulder and Scully.  Cliff looked at the two of them,
and began.  "I have bad news, guys.  It looks like Barney had a contingency 
plan for just this kind of a situation.  Our contacts report that all of
his secret operatives are pulling out, leaving destruction in their wake."

Cliff paused to wipe some sweat from his brow, and began to elaborate. 
"Reports are coming in from all sectors that Barney's creatures, now having 
been fully exposed, are wreaking havoc everywhere.  Apparently, as they're 
retreating, they're blowing up key points of communication.  It appears that
they're planning to regroup at an as-yet unknown location."

"Mulder, we can't let that happen!  if they manage to regroup, they could
strike back at any time!", yelled Scully in fear.

"Don't worry, Scully.  Now that Barney's agents are running with their tails 
between their legs, so to speak, we should finally be able to get some help 
from the Bureau and law enforcement agencies.  Come on, we have to go wake 
up some agents.", said Mulder, heading towards the front door.




FBI Headquarters
2:45 a.m.

Fortunately, the creatures had been unable to sabotage the bureau 
headquarters building, at least not yet.  After calling and waking up 
numerous agents on the drive over, Mulder and Scully dashed into the 
building and alerted security.  The building was placed on full alert, and 
no one was allowed to enter or leave the building without a thorough
security check.

Heading into his office, Mulder wondered who in the top reaches of the
government had actually been Barney's agents.  He thought of a few officials 
in the White house whose policies and judgment he had seriously questioned, 
and... but there no time for that, he realized, and shrugged off the thought.
The important task now was to figure out where Barney and his band would be 
meeting to regroup.

Scully, for her part, hurried over to her desk and began dialing up the
home of the D.C. police commissioner.  No answer.  Strange, she thought, 
that the police commissioner would not be home at nearly three in the 
morning.  She tried his office number, also with no luck.  But then she 
realized her mistake.  She flipped the pages in her personal phone 
directory to find someone lower down in the chain of command.

Scully finally got through to police commander Roberts, who had returned
to his office an hour ago in response to all the heightened criminal 
activity.  Speaking rapidly, Scully was able to convey the magnitude of the 
situation.  Commander Roberts found the story of the alien creatures 
difficult to believe at first, but Scully's accounts were backed up by 
reports from his men in the field.  Roberts pledged his full support, which 
was easy since he was no big fan of Barney himself.  He also told Scully 
that there was heavy activity reported out near the western edge of the city.

Mulder got a call on his cellular phone, and heard Cliff's voice on the
other end of the line.  "Hurry, Mulder, we found out where Barney's crew
are meeting.  They're gathering in a park on the western edge of town.  
We'll meet you there."

Mulder got up and turned towards Scully.  "Come on, Scully, we're needed
in a park..."

Scully cut him off.  "Yes, on the western edge of town.  I'll drive."



4:30 a.m.

As they sped towards the western edge of the city, Mulder and Scully 
saw pockets of fighting breaking out in the streets between police and 
well-dressed lizard creatures.  A number of cars were overturned, and 
others were engulfed in flames, lighting up the nighttime sky.

Through her driver's side window, Scully briefly glanced at several 
creatures poised behind a station wagon, exchanging gunfire with policemen 
arched behind cars on the other side of the street.  One of the female 
creatures was wearing a Bob Mackie original and bright red heels, which
unfortunately clashed with her AK-47, Scully noticed.

As they neared the park, they saw an all-out war breaking out in the 
distance.  Police cruisers, state trooper cars, and SWAT trucks ringed the 
eastern perimeter of the park, and huge spotlights and floodlights lit up 
the park's interior.  The lawmen stood perched behind their vehicles, 
furiously firing their weapons towards shadowy figures lurking in the 
distant grass.

Scully pulled the Taurus up behind some police vans and got out.  Peering 
between the vehicles, she saw hundreds of the creatures off in the distance, 
positioned behind overturned park benches, trees, and trash cans.  They 
were putting up a determined resistance, firing back furiously with 
automatic weapons.

Scully walked around to the back of the Taurus, and pulled out a couple of 
bulletproof vests.  She wondered how much good they would do against 
automatic rifle fire, but she removed her coat and put the vest on anyway.  
Mulder came up next to her and began putting on a vest himself.

"Mulder, Scully! Glad you guys made it!", yelled Cliff from a distance, 
motioning them to come in his direction.  Mulder and Scully walked over to 
Cliff and the Lone Bowmen, who were being restrained by several D.C. police
officers.  "Mulder, can you please tell these guys we're not kooks?", asked 
Cliff impatiently.

Mulder smiled and flashed his badge to the policemen.  "It's okay,
officers - these men are um, contractors to the FBI.  They're assisting us
on this case.", said Mulder.

As Mulder and the Lone Bowmen walked away from the police guards, Cliff 
snorted, "Pretty good line there, Mulder."  He glanced back at the 
policemen, and seeing that they had turned away, gave them a dirty look.

Cliff turned back to Mulder and said, "Mulder, good thing you're here.  It's
imperative that we stop these creatures here, before they escape.  Otherwise,
they'll return before we know it, and next time, they'll be back in force."

Mulder responded flatly, "Well then, we'll just have to stop them here, 
won't we."

The group snuck up and approached the front lines of the battle, hunching 
over to avoid the flying bullets.  Mulder walked up behind the SWAT 
commander and tapped his shoulder.  Flashing his badge, Mulder asked him, 
"Tell me, officer - what's the situation?"

The officer turned his head, and seeing the badge, filled Mulder in.
"Agent Mulder, we've had these guys pinned down for the past twenty minutes.  
We think they're going to cave in; it's just a matter of time!"

Just then, they were startled by a set of bright multicolored lights 
flashing all around them.  Looking up, Mulder saw a giant craft approaching 
from the heavens, apparently the same craft that Barney had escaped in just 
a few hours ago.  It descended swiftly, and set down on the park grass 
behind the creatures' front lines.

Mulder borrowed a pair of binoculars from the SWAT officer, and peered out
at the landing craft.  Through the lenses, Mulder saw a door opening on
the bottom of the craft, and surprise surprise, a purple creature stepped 
out.  It was Barney!  He must have come to preside over the final battle, 
Mulder figured.  

It seemed strange, though, that Barney still appeared in his dinosaur form, 
even after his transmitter had been destroyed.  Mulder surmised that Barney 
must be using his personal psychokinetic beam transmitter to project his 
dino form.  Once a goofy dinosaur, always a goofy dinosaur, Mulder figured.

As Barney descended from the craft, legions of purple soldiers poured out 
from the doorway behind him.  And as soon as the last of the commandos 
stepped out, the craft lifted off, departing as quickly as it had arrived.  
The purple commandos dashed forward, moving towards the front lines.  They 
took up positions alongside the yuppie creatures, and began firing back at 
the police with high-powered plasma weapons.

Stunned, the police force ducked under their vehicles for cover.  The
creatures' powerful particle beams punched through the steel in the
police cars as if it were paper.  Mulder, Scully, and the Bowmen dropped
down behind the street curb, wondering what to do next.

"Mulder, we can't fight back against weapons like that!", yelled Scully.

Mulder realized she was right, and looked over at the SWAT commander.
He was hunched down on the ground, shouting into a radio.

"Commander! when are we going to get some reinforcements?", Mulder yelled.

Turning in Mulder's direction, the commander lowered his radio and
responded confidently, "Not to worry, agent Mulder! help is on the way!"

Moments later, Scully felt a thumping, beating noise from the ground.  The
noise grew louder, and she realized the sound was actually emanating from 
the air.  Soon, she recognized the distinctive sounds of helicopter rotors 
beating through the heavy nighttime sky.

Looking up, she saw four choppers approaching from the south.  But she 
noticed that they were not ordinary police copters.  The roar of their 
powerful twin turbines was deafening, drowning out all other sounds in the
area.  As they approached closer, Scully identified them as National Guard 
helicopter gunships.

Approaching low at high speed, the cobra gunships opened fire on the alien 
creatures.  Flames leapt forth from their 30mm gatling guns, and bright 
tracers cut through the nighttime sky.  Scully looked up and saw the white 
traces erupting from the guns and connecting with the creatures poised 
in the park.  Sharp noises accompanied the traces, followed quickly by
horrible alien screams of agony.

As the choppers passed overhead, Scully saw bright streaks of flame 
erupting from the backs of the rocket pods attached to the choppers' 
stubby wings.  The pods spat out scores of long, cylindrical rockets, which 
blazed a path towards the barricades set up by the evil creatures.  The 
rockets impacted on the trees and park benches, blowing them up into  
thousands of tiny shards.  The evil alien bodies hiding behind them were 
thrown about in the ensuing explosions, landing moments later in tiny bits 
and pieces.

The copters zoomed past the creatures' front lines, and turned back
towards the friendly side.  The remaining alien soldiers took potshots at 
the turning choppers, hitting one of them.  The chopper began spewing
smoke, and split off from the pack to return to base.  The remaining force 
turned around for a second pass.

Coming at the band of evil aliens from the east this time, the gunships
let loose their remaining rockets in a torrent of destructive fury.  The
rockets exploded in the midst of the enemy's crack commando forces, creating 
thundering explosions and spewing body parts in all directions.  Passing 
over the enemy, the copters' gunners used their helmet-mounted sights to 
target individual aliens with their turret-mounted 30mm guns.  A short burst 
from the mighty cannon was enough to turn each creature into a cloud of fine
green mist.

Sweeping over the enemy band, the copters turned around and made a third
pass, and then a fourth.  Finally, with their ammunition spent, they
turned back to return to base.  Turning to look at the departing choppers, 
Scully saw the pilots waving at the friendly forces.  She thought she 
briefly saw one of them winking at her, but she shrugged off the thought.

Looking back through his binoculars, Mulder could see Barney off in the
distance, frantically looking about and barking orders in frustration.  His 
forces had been decimated by the air assault, and what was left of his band 
was now in full retreat.  Mulder saw Barney jumping up and down, shaking his 
tiny dinosaur fists in frustration.  Mulder realized that their opportunity 
was now at hand.

Getting up, he yelled to his colleagues, "They're in disarray! Let's
move in!"

Bolstered by the success of the air attack and by Mulder's cheer, the force 
of policemen and Bowmen vigilantes rushed up and charged the creatures' 
front line in mass.  They ran forward at full speed, yelling cheers at the 
top of their lungs.  "Die, you alien scum!", was one police sergeant's cry;
"Go to hell, you Barney bastard!", was a Virginia state trooper's yell.

Dashing towards the enemy positions, Mulder saw the creatures up ahead, 
running away at full speed.  They were pushing and shoving each other aside,
trying to get away from the charging masses behind them.  But it was all 
to no avail; they were being mowed down left and right by police gunfire.  
Soon, only Barney and a few of his soldiers were left standing.

Suddenly, the charging band was stopped in their tracks by a powerful gust 
of hot air, accompanied by a flash of blinding light.  Oh no, the craft has 
returned to retrieve Barney, thought Mulder.

The police force stopped and hesitated, fearful of the gigantic craft.
Mulder and Scully, however, pressed onward, accompanied by the Lone Bowmen.
There, not more than a hundred feet in front of them, were Barney and his 
minions, running furiously towards the descending craft.  Mulder and Scully 
weren't about to stop now, after all they had been through to get to this 
purple monstrosity.

"Barney! stop!", Mulder yelled out, still running in the purple creature's 
direction.  Barney heard Mulder's yell, and turned briefly to look at the 
pursuing agent.  He stood there for a second, gazing curiously at Mulder, 
while his troops ran by him towards the ship.  Barney tilted his head left 
and right, then shrugged his shoulders.  He turned back and continued his
dash towards the ship, taking his big, arcing dinosaur hops.

As Barney approached the spaceship, the door opened on the bottom of the 
craft, and his troops started pouring in.  As the last of Barney's minions 
made their way inside the craft, Mulder saw several of them turning and 
standing inside the doorway, urging Barney towards them.  With the chasing 
band now just fifty feet behind him, Barney approached the edge of the 
entrance, but stopped and turned to the crowd.  Apparently unable to resist 
one last act of defiance, Barney looked at them and yelled in his dopey 
voice, "Duh, by-eee, kidz! I wuvv yeu aww! I'll bwe bwack!"

Infuriated, Mulder knew he would never get another chance at this.  He knelt 
down on his right knee, poised with grim determination and precision, 
and balanced himself with his other foot.  Fighting the powerful gust from 
the ship, he carefully lined up his pistol in front of him, his right arm 
fully extended, elbow locked in position.  His pulled his left hand over to 
brace his right wrist, forming a solid delivery platform for his weapon.  He
closed his left eye and lined up the purple dinosaur in his sights, 
momentarily pausing his breath.  His body and his weapon became one, an 
entity whose sole purpose was to rid the earth of this most heinous of all 
evil creatures.  The newly created being reveled in its purpose, and ever-so
joyfully squeezed the thin metal trigger.  "Like hell you'll back", muttered 
Mulder.

The group saw Barney reeling backwards, stunned.  The single round had
impacted in Barney's ample belly, leaving him in a state of momentary shock.  
Mulder now definitely had Barney's attention, and the creature paused to 
stare at the audacious gunman.

Without hesitation, Mulder squeezed off another round, and then another.
Scully joined in, emptying her Walther in a matter of seconds.  Both
reached into their jackets to reload.

The Lone Bowmen also seized upon the opportunity, and took up the firing
position.  They carefully aimed their submachine guns, and poured out
9mm shells in a cacophony of glee.  The torrent of gunfire continued on in 
an orgy of madness and destruction.  The purple dinosaur was pounded left 
and right, battered to and fro by the unending deluge of fiery pellets.  He 
was doing the dance of death, stepping in time to the glorious symphony of 
bullets, and the audience was loving every moment of it.

Several minutes and thousands of rounds later, all that was left of Barney 
was mere a shell of his former self, a hideous, bullet-ridden piece of 
purple swiss cheese.  Green blobs were oozing out of the countless holes in 
his furry purple hide, and he could barely balance himself on his two 
gigantic feet.

"Time to finish this thing", said Cricket, pulling his RPG launcher over his 
shoulder.  Seconds later, a grenade was on its way towards the purple 
menace, carried aloft by a plume of fluffy smoke.  It drew closer and 
closer to the purple demon, as the crowd watched with bated breath.  The 
moment seemed to last forever, as they tracked the projectile with wide,
eager eyes, as if following a tennis ball in a match from hell.  Finally,
after what seemed like hours, but which were really just milliseconds, the 
rocket met its target.

The grenade exploded in a fantastic display of pyrotechnics, sprouting
up an orgasmic flash of yellow and orange flame.  The tongues of fire
danced their magnificent waltz of joy around Barney's scorching body, as if 
to celebrate their brief and tragic existence in this universe.  The
audience could almost reach out and feel the eroticism and ecstasy embodied 
in the wondrous medley of dancing, searing flames.

The moment seemed to last forever, as the crowd watched the licks of flame 
frolicking in their enchanting dance of death.  As Mulder and Scully looked 
on, the joyful blaze grew into a spectacular inferno of madness, consuming 
the purple monstrosity in a conflagration of devastation.  The flames 
reveled in their banquet of destruction, sizzling and crisping every last 
bit of the round, rotund reptile.  Barney's immolation was truly a marvel 
to behold.

The delightful performance finally concluded, putting an end to the 
spectacle in a puff of enveloping gray smoke.  All that remained of the 
brilliant performance was a smoldering black carcass that soon crumpled to 
the ground.

Seeing what had happened, the spacecraft quickly closed its doors and
lifted off, soon disappearing into the heavens.  Mulder stood and stared
at the departing craft for a moment, and then noticed the crowd gathering 
around the smoldering heap that had been Barney.

Scully walked back from the smoking pile of Barney parts, shaking her head.
"Well, I guess that takes care of this case.  Just another day at the 
office, eh, Mulder?"

"Yup, Scully, just another day at the office.", said Mulder, squinting
into the rising sun.



THE END