181 lines
8.8 KiB
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181 lines
8.8 KiB
Plaintext
WARNING: This article contains spoiler information regarding this week's TNG
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episode, "Disaster". Those not wanting the "disaster" of having the plot
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spoiled for them are advised to depart.
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You *must* be kidding.
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Er...exactly whose idea was this story? And can we please bar them from the
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Paramount lot?
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Well...it wasn't quite THAT bad--but good gods, it wasn't good. More after a
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synopsis:
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The Enterprise is between missions and is struck by a quantum filament,
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trapping everyone more or less where they are, killing intraship
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communications, and knocking out primary life support and the warp engines.
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Picard, trapped in a turbolift with three elementary school children, is
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injured when the lift first falls. Meanwhile, on the bridge, the three
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relevant characters are O'Brien, Ensign Ro, and Troi, who as the senior
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officer is placed in command. In Ten-Forward, Worf is left to take care of
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the wounded (and a very pregnant Keiko O'Brien) while Riker and Data head
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through a crawlway to try to get to Engineering. Finally, Bev and Geordi are
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trapped in a shuttle bay--and a plasma fire is spewing radiation into the bay,
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threatening both the people and some canisters of chemicals, which are likely
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to explode.
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Riker and Data end up with their retreat cut off by a coolant leak and their
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advance stopped by a huge current arc. Data volunteers to use his
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(non-conducting) body to block the circuit, claiming that his head will
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survive and can be detached for use in Engineering. Riker, having no other
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options, approves. While Picard tries to get the children working together to
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get them all out of the lift, Ro manages to power up the Engineering console
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and finds that the warp containment field is slowly failing, which will
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eventually lead to the entire ship exploding.
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Once the lift's hatch is open (and the children refuse to leave the injured
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Picard behind), the group begins working on ways to leave and climb up to an
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open deck. Meanwhile, Bev and Geordi decide the only way to both keep the
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chemicals safe and put out the plasma fire is to depressurize the shuttle bay.
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And, as if things weren't bad enough, Keiko suddenly goes into labor.
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While Troi decides not to follow Ro's advice (namely, to separate the saucer
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and get the hell away from the warp engines, assuming there's no one left
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alive in the drive section) and sends enough power down to Engineering so that
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anyone there can at least realize there's a problem, Picard and the children
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leave the lift (just in time, as its emergency clamps fail and it falls) and
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begin climbing to a door that will open. Bev and Geordi depressurize the bay,
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putting out the fire, and Bev manages to repressurize it just in time.
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Riker and Data's head reach Engineering and manage to restore the containment
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field just before it collapses, Picard and the kids make it to an open deck,
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and a very inexperienced Worf manages to successfully deliver Keiko's
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daughter. Later, once everything is running smoothly again, the children give
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Picard a commemorative plaque to thank him for all his help.
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That's it, folks. That's all she wrote. Now, for some rantings:
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My opinion can mostly be summarized by the following two thoughts I had early
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in the show:
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1) "Didn't Battlestar Galactica have an episode a lot like this?"
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2) "My God, Battlestar Galactica did it better, too."
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And no, that's not meant to be high praise. :-)
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I don't know who decided they wanted to put the Enterprise into a Towering
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Inferno/Poseidon Adventure/insert your disaster movie here scenario, but it
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wasn't particularly well thought out--either the premise or the execution.
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Here, off the top of my head, are a number of objections:
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--The Enterprise is so poorly designed that there aren't any *manual backups
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or overrides* for the many different "failsafe devices to be used in case of
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emergency" situations? Yeah, right.
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--There is only ONE place in the entire shuttle bay where one can repressurize
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the bay? Even if true, it's also NOT the main console in the bay, which is
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supposed to be multipurposeful? Yep. Sure.
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--Troi is a Starfleet officer, yet doesn't appear to know anything about
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ANY emergency procedure, including "what happens if the antimatter containment
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fails"? Just how daft IS this woman?
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--There's only ONE sickbay in a ship this large with a complement of over a
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thousand people?
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--Data, who by his own statements has pores and chemical nutrients running
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through his body, is completely nonconducting? Puh-leeze.
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--Data's head is completely self-contained? Soong was one weird puppy.
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--Data appears to have access to the information about the containment field,
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yet doesn't notice initially that the damn thing's failing?
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--So, lots of chemicals that are unstable around radiation are just sitting
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around in the shuttle bay, where shuttle engines and tractor beams are active
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on a consistent basis. Good planning there, guys.
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--An electric shock can screw up the containment fields? This is not a ship
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on which I would want to serve.
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--Troi, O'Brien, and Ensign Etcetera don't think to look at the lieutenant
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who's lying there BLEEDING in the middle of the bridge for a couple of
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minutes?
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I could go on, but I think you get the picture. Virtually nothing about this
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plot held together in any way.
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What's more, many of the performances didn't attract me overmuch. Stewart's
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was watchable (it rarely is anything else), but far from magnificent.
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Michelle Forbes was probably the strong point this time (one of the show's few
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bright points was that Ro *hasn't* lost her combative edge, although that was
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blunted by her apologizing at the end when her advice was completely on the
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ball and warranted). Dorn's was awful (or rather, the main thing about his
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acting that impressed me this time through was that he managed to keep a
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straight face through the whole thing!). (Actually, the other reasonably good
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performance came from Erika Flores, the girl who played Marissa. The other
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two kids were a total loss, but she's got potential.)
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Speaking of Michael Dorn...my own notes for the synopsis simply said towards
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the end, "Keiko gives birth after Worf has a lot of lame one-liners." "You
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may now give birth," indeed. I could swallow that coming from Data, just.
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But not Worf--let's be serious here. "This is not a good time, Keiko"--that's
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bad sitcom talk, not drama (or even humor). Worf's problems with the delivery
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were all right, but they were handled miserably. This is probably the biggest
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slap in the face of Worf's characterization since "Qpid".
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(Even the FX had problems--the shuttle bay depressurization looked miserable,
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as did the "shaking" FX when the lift finally fell. They've done so much
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better...)
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However, it wasn't a complete loss. There were two sequences which had me
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interested, if amused. The first was Bev trying to coax Geordi into singing
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Gilbert & Sullivan in public. It's a bit silly, but it is *completely,
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completely* in line with Bev's past actions, and I found it hilarious. The
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second was Troi's parting shot to Riker: "I don't think I'm cut out to be
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Captain. First officer, maybe--I understand there aren't many
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qualifications." OUCH. Very enjoyable. :-)
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If you're reading this before seeing the show, I suggest you watch this in a
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"Mystery Science Theater 3000" style--mock it mercilessly and take no
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prisoners whatsoever. I and those watching with me decided to do that early
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on, and it worked nicely. Some examples:
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(as Worf is left in charge of the injured): "Klingons EAT their wounded."
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(Keiko explaining that not all births are as easy as the simulation Worf
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worked): "For example, this one's an Alien [TM] baby--rrrrragggghh!"
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(The kids refuse to leave Picard behind): "This is mutiny, Mr. Queeg!" [said
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in as much of a Red Dwarf-Holly-like voice as possible]
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(Picard and the kids finally make it onto a deck): "Whoops, another quake.
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Back down you go!"
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And so it goes.
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This is something you can probably have fun with if you realize immediately
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that it's a complete no-brainer and treat it accordingly, but if you try to
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take it seriously you'll be hideously disappointed. Be warned.
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So, the numbers:
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Plot: 1. Old, tired and ridden with holes--and those are its good points.
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Plot Handling: 1. It didn't flow all that well either.
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Characterization: 4. Mostly unspectacular, and occasionally downright bad.
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TOTAL: 2. Not good, folks. Not good.
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NEXT WEEK:
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Wesley vs. the Addictive Game from Hell. We shall see...
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Tim Lynch (Cornell's first Astronomy B.A.; one of many Caltech grad students)
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BITNET: tlynch@citjuliet
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INTERNET: tlynch@juliet.caltech.edu
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UUCP: ...!ucbvax!tlynch%juliet.caltech.edu@hamlet.caltech.edu
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"Liddell, he is your future king. Does your arrogance extend that far?"
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"My arrogance, sir, extends just as far as my conscience demands."
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--"Chariots of Fire"
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--
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Copyright 1991, Timothy W. Lynch. All rights reserved, but feel free to ask...
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